"… as I'm sure many of you can tell," she laughed loudly, "No, I just thought to myself last night, what story would most embarrass the dear bride on her wedding day, and what would show James in his best light? And I came up with the perfect story – I just hope you guys all enjoy hearing it as much as I'll enjoy telling it!"

"I'm sure we will," James said with a raised eyebrow to his wife, "Hopefully this isn't what I think it is…."

There was a knock at the door of the girl's dormitory, followed by a muffled giggle and a futile attempt at turning the door handle. Alice got up from where she had been sitting on her bed to open the door, which she opened to find a very confused looking Lily Evans.

"Alright Evans?" Alice asked, as her friend stumbled into the room, "I'm not going to lie, you don't look too great-"

"- I don't feel too great Ally," Lily whined, elongating the last syllable of her friend's name as she sat herself down on Alice's bed, "I think I'm going to be sick.

"Have you been drinking?" Alice asked suspiciously, looking over to Marlene McKinnon who had just walked into the room for support.

"Nooo!" Lily protested, wriggling on her bed and laughing to herself, "Well it dep-depends what count as, count as…. Drinking….. If by that you are implying that I have consumed alcohol… you would be correct-"

"Where exactly did you get it?" Marlene asked, sitting down on the bed beside Lily, as Alice straightened the red velvet curtains which surrounded the four-poster.

"Well…. Sirius Black, you know Sirius, Marley, don't you? Lovely boy really, once you get to know him, but anyway he had some Firewhiskey and he was like, 'ooh Lily do you want some', and I was like 'yes' and then he was like-" Lily began to ramble, before breaking down into hysterical giggles once more.

"Where was this?" Alice asked her friend confusedly, not being familiar with any place in the school grounds where one might be able to get smashed.

"In the common room of course!" Lily said theatrically.

"Did you see them?" Alice asked Marlene.

"I swear I didn't see a thing, and I walked straight past Sirius and James in the common room just now. No Firewhiskey in sight!"

"Probably because Lils seems to have drunk it all," Alice said wryly, looking at Lily, who had begun to flail her arms wildly like a dog, "You watch the invalid," she shot Lily a sceptical glance, "I'll go and ask those prats what the bloody hell they think they're doing. Then later we can escort her back to her own bedroom-"

"-nooo," Alice heard Lily protest as she left the room, "I like it here!"

Alice made her way down the stone steps and into the common room to where James and Sirius were sitting by the fire; they had been joined by Remus and Peter, and were laughing raucously.

"You bloody bastards," Alice said defensively to them, making a small blonde first year beside her jump, "None of you are drunk at all! What did you do to Lily!"

"No idea what you're talking about, Als," James got up, smiling at her, "Much as I would love to do something horrible to that devil woman-"

"- hold on a minute," there was an interjection by Lily, who had a look of horror on her face, "When did you ever call me the 'devil woman'!"

James blushed fiercely, trying to shrug off his new wife's comment, "Umm… well, you see… um- Remus?"

"I believe it is the intention of Peter to cover said story during his speech," Remus said quickly, "Alice?"

"As I was saying…"

"-she was acting really strangely when she came through the common room, so Sirius, being the perfect gentleman, pointed her in the direction of you dormitory," James finished. He was now standing next to Alice, a stony expression on his face, his eyes glinting in the light of the fire.

"And on her way to the dormitory she got horribly drunk, did she?" Alice asked sceptically.

"No," Sirius smiled at her, "She was horribly drunk when she came into the common room."

"Why should I believe that, when she told me that you two idiots got her drunk?"

"You clearly have had very few dealings with inebriated girls, Alice," Sirius chuckled, "You see there are four types, "The ones who dance inappropriately- those are the ones I go for-"

"-the ones who tell the hideous truth," Remus added, "They seem to be more my type-"

"-the ones who throw up on your clothes," Peter said ruefully, "Somehow I always get landed with them-"

"-and finally the ones who lie," James finished, "it seems that she is exhibiting classic type four drunk girls symptoms."

"But why would she lie about where she got the Firewhiskey from?" Alice asked them.

"Simple," Sirius responded, "The lying drunk-girl lies for one reason alone- to boost her status. Lily clearly thinks that getting drunk with us was much more socially acceptable than getting drunk with whoever she was with-"

"- I bet it was those bloody Slytherins," Alice suddenly burst out in anger, "She was talking to Snape earlier after Supper- I bet he lured her back to his cave-"

"-I'll bloody kill him," Remus said defensively, standing up and withdrawing his wand, "How dare that smarmy bastard get our Lils drunk and then leave her to fend for herself in the corridor-"

"-yeah she's probably never touched the stuff before," James said scornfully, as though he was under the impression that never having been drunk was a cardinal sin. He made a noise which sounded like, "Tschkkshh."

"To the Slytherin common room!" Sirius jumped up theatrically, he took had withdrawn his wand. But James put his hand on Sirius' chest to stop him from moving.

"It's her own fault that she got drunk," James said firmly, "it's not our place to go and attack a load of Slytherins on her behalf, I'm Head Boy now, I need to be responsible-"

Marlene had appeared at the bottom of the stairs, "Lils was just sick guys-"

"-I'm going to fucking tear them to pieces," James finished his sentence in a wave of anger, rolling up his sleeves and flexing his arms.

"That's the spirit Prongs!" Sirius patted his friend on the back. Peter was on his feet too now, and each of the four boys had the wand in front of them, looking like knights going to battle.

"So what, you four prats are going to go and hex all the Slytherins because Lily got a bit drunk?" Alice asked them, laughing in spite of herself, "That's dedication-"

"-yeah, dedication to wanting to murder Slytherins," Sirius interrupted, "Now James here is all responsible we don't get much of a chance!"

The unlikely group of five made their way from the common room; Alice too had her wand out, never being a girl to miss out on a good fight. They made their way down the many staircases towards the dungeons- being accompanied by the Head Boy and a Prefect meant that few questions were asked of the group upon passing teachers. There was a brief encounter with Mrs. Norris, Filch's cat, who was an oddly youthful looking in her old age. James had a theory that his cats kept dying and he just bought a new one each time and pretended it hadn't happened.

"How do you know how to get into the common room?" Alice asked Sirius, as they stopped in the dungeons.

"Let's just say that in the house I grew up in, if you didn't know how to get into the Slytherin common room by the age of three, you'd be cast aside as a no-hoper," Sirius grinned sadly, "Reggy told me how to get in in my third year," he added as an afterthought.

They stopped by an unremarkable patch of dank, stone wall, where Sirius looked around him before saying, "Toujours Pur."

A horrible look came over his face as he said the words, and before Alice could ask how he knew the password, he said, "I overheard my pompous little twit of a brother boasting to his friends about how to Black family motto was the password this week. I bet mummy will be thrilled." His voice was cold and almost comical. James patted him on the back as the wall gave way to reveal a corridor, at the end of which there was an eerie green light. However the five never got to see what was at the end of the tunnel, as three seventh year Slytherins had appeared in the other direction.

"Potter!" Snape's voice came through the darkness.

"Hey, Snivellus!" Sirius grinned warmly, "Good to see you mate, how've you been? Look we have a bit of a problem mate, we think you might have got Evans drunk so you could take advantage of her and, to be honest, we're not too pleased about that, so you know if you could just-"

He never finished his sentence, as the smallest of the three boys had stunned him in the face, "That was for running away," Regulus said as he stepped into the light, he addressed James, "Terribly sorry for anything we might have done to your friend," his voice was so like Sirius', only it had a slippery and well trained sound to it, where Sirius' was coarse, "However we do so enjoy muggle baiting."

The was a look of pain in Snape's eyes at these words, but only for a moment, as before he could blink, all three Slytherins were face down on the floor in front of the five. Remus, Peter, James and Alice had all stunned them at the same time.

"Bastards," Sirius said, having come round from his stunning, "Anyway, who fancies going and cleaning up Lily's sick!"

"… to tell you the truth that story wasn't the most cheerful that I could have told, but I thought it was important to let you all know that Lily is a type-four drunk girl," Alice laughed, as she raised her glass, "Joking guys, you know I love you both really. Now to hand over to Peter, who I believe is planning to elaborate further on the 'devil woman' story – Peter?"

"Yes… thank you Alice," Peter began timidly, but soon found his stride, "Now this all began in the third week into our seventh year at Hogwarts-"

Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed this chapter, I quite enjoyed writing it, and any ideas for future stories would be VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!

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Love as always,

Mirandoo xxxxx