A/N: My world's Selina Kyle is closer to Chris Dee's version (my favorite) than the comic one. Basically, I'm getting rid of Catwoman's supporting characters because it's my world and I can. Mahwahahaha

Chapter 12 Going Straight To Hell (Dare To Take On the Simple Life)

Selina Kyle did not sign up for this. It was this kind of crap that kept her out of legitimate work for so long. She was currently walking around the painting gallery of the museum chatting with the gallery manager. When the too chipper woman said she was having a crisis, Selina assumed there had been of threat of thief or damage to at least one of the paintings. Turned out, it was more of a 'my boyfriend doesn't understand me' crisis. Why on earth she picked Selina to talk about it with was beyond her, Selina had gone out of her way to keep their relationship strictly professional. Selina feared the young woman had decided she was her role model, or even worse a mother figure. She was sorely tempted to tell her about her notorious past, if just to frighten her away a bit. As was, she was just walking as quickly to her office as she could without making it noticeable.

As the girl chatted away about her boyfriend not calling when he told her would, Selina began to rub her temples. That just made it worse since she felt the wrinkles that had started forming at her eye edges. She did the anti-wrinkle cream but that wasn't keeping them at bay anymore. While Selina wasn't adverse to surgery she didn't want to look constantly surprised either.

"And he started talking to his ex-girlfriend Gina again…"

Selina wanted to tell her that as long as he's not dressing up like a bat any problems he has can probably be worked out. She stopped herself from saying it out loud though, finally she seeing her office in sight. "Listen, Jamee…"

"It's James."

When did that become a girl's name? Whatever. "James. I am the last person you should be asking about this kind of stuff. I only had one serious relationship in my life and it ended badly."

"How badly?"

"I threw a vase at his head and stole his Jag."

The younger woman looked stunned. "He had a Jag?"

"Three of them, actually. That's not the point, don't you have a mother or someone to talk to this about?"

"Yeah, but she doesn't know anything. You just seem like you'd be the better person to talk to."

Selina felt a stab of something. Guilt maybe. She remembered the brief period she had played a mother and took pity on the girl. "Just go over to your man's place, fuck his brains out, and then voice all your concerns. It's the only time you can get a man to agree to anything."

Not sticking around to see if the girl was offended or enlightened by her solution Selina shut her office door. Though she did hear a scream of thanks, or horror.

Barbara sat next to Helena and wrapped an arm around the girl reading the folder containing everything about her birth parents. "Are you okay?"

Once Barbara figured out the connection between Selina and Helena the rest of the information was easy to collect. Barbara had wasted all those favors on a DNA test for nothing. The only hard part had been telling an already shook up Helena who was still studying the file containing her birth certificate and backgrounds on her parents. "She's very beautiful, my mother."

Barbara let go of Helena and wheeled around so she could face her instead. "Selina's still gorgeous. You inherited some good genes, kid."

For the first time since the folder had been placed in her lap, Helena looked up. "How do you know her again?"

Barbara sighed. "That's a long story that is a little more than either one of us can handle right now."

Helena nodded looking through the file again. She stopped at a picture of herself as a newborn, looking at it carefully. Barbara spoke with a warm smile, "You were a beautiful baby."

Helena looked away for a moment. "My adoptive parents told me all my baby pictures were destroyed in a fire." She turned to Barbara. "Did you know my as a baby?"

Barbara tried not to be too sad for Helena's sake. "Not really. Just a few visits here and there."

Helena spoke softly, "Did you know my father too?"

Barbara shook her head. "Not really. Enough to recognize him maybe, but no."

Helena went back to her file. "Guess it's too late to really know him then."

Barbara quietly nodded along. She'd already seen that Sam Bradley died over eight years ago. She broached the next topic carefully. "Helena, I think you should talk to Selina."

Helena grasped the folder just a little tighter, a less observant person wouldn't have even noticed, but Barbara did. "Thank you for all your help, but I think I need to be alone right now."

Strange. Now that Barbara knew who Helena's parents were she wondered how she never saw it before. That strong manner wrapped around a lost girl desperate for something to cling to and cry. She knew there wasn't anything she could do so she started to move away, but stopped and turned her head before leaving the room completely. "For what it's worth, Selina was a great mother and had very good reasons for giving you up Helena."

Silence and sadness were all that were left.

They didn't stay long though, leaving with a suddenly determined Helena.

Selina was about ready to leave early, she finished up a note to herself about calling that dealer tomorrow and then got up to pack up her bag. She had hoped to finally to be able to pick up that elusive dry cleaning. Then the phone rang. "Hello, Selina Kyle."

"Catty, it's Pam."

Selina sat down, mentally crossing off any hope she'd had on picking up dry cleaning today. "Don't call me that, Pam. I don't steal art anymore, I display it."

"I won't even start in on the irony of you switching sides. I'm just glad that overgrown weed, Batman, didn't have anything to do with it. Did you know everyone once had bets going how long it would be before you'd fuck him?" Selina could hear the cruel smile. "I won. I knew you would never lower yourself to such a man."

Why did it always have to come back to Batman? Selina could feel her lip snarl at the mention of Batman. Perhaps because Pammy mentioning him brought out Selina's old Rogue, or that technically that Pam didn't win that ridiculous pool. Pam always had a talent to bring out Selina's claws. "Pam, I'm in no mood. If just want to reminisce about the old days, I'm hanging up."

"It's Eddie."

Selina stiffened. She always worried the cancer could come back.

"He's intolerable about that imposter, Selina. He's over here now complaining to me and Harvey. I had to get away. You should hear him go on."

Selina tuned the rest of the rant out. She'd heard enough of Eddie's ranting about the imposter to know. Selina had always figured the friendships formed in the Rogue gallery were temporary things. After all, even when they partnered up for that week's Crime of the Century' when the cops or Bat showed up it became everyone for themselves, and partners would be thrown in front of the bus if need be. Time had proven they were a little longer lasting than that once the crime was over.

Still, Selina found them annoying at times. Ever since Harley's disappearance after the Joker's death, Pam got the idea that Selina was her new best friend. Selina wasn't thrilled that her closest friends consisted of the retired Two-Face, Poison Ivy, and Riddler. Unfortunately there weren't a lot of other options. She didn't really like any normal people. Sure, she was sort of friends with the Bat family too, but with her history with Bruce made it too complicated.

"So he's going on and on about this goth wannabe and Harvey's glaring at me like this is my fault. Like I'm the one who invites him over to drink beer, watch sports and reminisce! I mean, really why can't they go over to his place?"

Selina decided on stating the obvious. "Because Eddie's got a crappy television, only keeps one kind of liquor that nobody likes in house, and he's the one who gets lonely."

"If you and Eddie would move in together like me and Harv he wouldn't be."

Selina could practically see the scheming smirk on Pam's face. "For the last time, if anything was going to happen between Eddie and me it would've happened before requiring Viagra."

"He's only sixty-three, he might not need it yet. Besides I just meant to keep each other company."

Selina softened her voice, her thoughts drifting from Edward Nigma. "We're both too proud for that."

Over the phone Selina heard a door banging, then a growl. "How dare you leave me out there. Leaving me to the dogs, this is worse than that time with the tulips…who are you talking to?"

Selina hear an argument and a struggle for the phone. Harvey won. "Who is this?"

"Meow."

"Selina." He sounded surprised. Selina wasn't sure why. "Selina, get over here and save us. We swear if we hear another riddle, we're going to kill him."

Selina remembered her few stints as an unwilling hostage negotiator, "You're not going to kill him Harvey because I'm not going to put you up whenever her greenness and you fight."

"Like hell we won't. We may be retired but we still have a .22 around here somewhere. Or a shotgun, two barrels, that may be better. He won't even feel any pain. It'd be merciful."

Selina listened to Harvey argue with himself and Pam throwing in her two cents in the background. Just when she was ready to hang up on the lot of them she heard another entrance.

"What are you all doing in here? Who is on the phone?"

Harvey grumbled something about more questions but before Selina could even roll her eyes she was speaking with a slightly inebriated Edward.

Ten minutes later and he was still going. "He doesn't even wear the hat! It's as much of a signature as the cane, green or question mark!"

Selina really hoped Harvey and Pam had made their escape by now. She wish them vengeance for unleashing this upon her, but then again they'd been subjected to it for a far longer time. "Well, he doesn't really need it Eddie, he's not balding."

That really set him off. Selina decided just to hang up as he went on about how it's a perfectly natural thing turned into a complex by impossible beauty standards.

She still didn't even have time to grab her purse before the phone rang again. She was irritable and would not be subjected to the whinefest again. "Listen, Eddie I didn't throw this much of a hissy fit when Catman came to town and I was still practicing. Seriously, grow up!"

The voice on the other line sputtered, surprised. The female voice. "Selina, this is Barbara."

Crap. While the many of the Rogues seemed to keep Selina on speed dial it was rare to get a call from the Bat family anymore. "Sorry. What did you want Barbara?"

She sounded nervous. "It's kind of important Selina."

A little yelling shouldn't shake her up this much. "I don't know anything about the new Riddler and I really don't want to talk about it with the old one."

The nervousness didn't go away. "It's not that. We should probably do this in person. It's pretty serious…"

Selina straightened. "Is it Bruce?"

"No, it's just. Do you want to grab a cup of coffee?"

Selina calmed a bit but still was edgy about the urgency in Barbara's voice. "Sure. When and where?"

"As soon as possible." Selina could here her moving around. "Just let me check on something first and…Damn! Where did she go?"

Selina did get to ask who she was talking about, a woman walked into her room. A woman who looks were like a past reflection and whose eyes made Selina gasp.

"Selina Kyle?"

Selina was thankful her voice stayed steady. "Yes. Who are you?"

"Helena…" She paused like she was going to say something (presumably a last name) and changed her mind. "I'm Helena, your daughter."

Selina felt the phone slip from her fingers and crash on the floor.