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Chapter 13 There's You
For a moment the world stopped. The two women just stood looking at each other. Selina usually prided herself on her ability to remain outwardly calm in almost any situation, but she could not force her body to relax from its tense pose or get her eyes to stop widening. Helena was just as tense but rather than shocked eyes hers were measuring up. It was Barbara's voice coming from the floor that caused the moment of tension to snap. Selina was shock out of her trance and picked up the phone.
"Selina! What's going on? I need to tell you…"
Selina glanced at her daughter again, her eyes fixed again. "I know. She's here."
She snapped the phone shut and invited Helena in. Helena calmly strolled in and sat in one of the chairs across from her mother's desk.
Selina envied her calm manner, closing the door. She had envisioned this moment of her daughter's return for years. She just never decided if she thought of it with joy or dread. She always thought she'd figure out when it happened.
She was wrong.
She soothed down her suit trying to regain her composure as she took her spot of power behind her desk. She looked at her daughter, those eyes. Selina looked away. She could not focus on those eyes. It was too much.
Suddenly, it was all wrong. This was not the place to be doing this. Selina was too used to playing business queen in this position. She feared that her bloodthirsty and logical attitude were the last things she needed for this conversation.
Her daughter's voice was businesslike. "So did you ever love me at all or just not enough to get an abortion?"
Jesus, this kid didn't beat around the bush. Selina felt maybe this would be the best location, somewhere she felt powerful. She placed her hands on the expensive cherry oak, as if trying to gather up some power from it. She steeled herself before looking into those too familiar blue eyes. "You shouldn't speak to your mother that way."
Helena's eyes narrowed. "You haven't earned the title of mother. You're nothing but an unfamiliar stranger to me."
"Then you shouldn't speak to strangers with such disrespect and distain either." Selina could feel her temper rising. She lowered her eyes, trying to get it under control before speaking again. "So did Barbara find me, or did you?"
"It was a team effort."
"Funny, I would've guessed you like to work alone."
"I'm not you, Mother."
The rage returned. Selina clenched it down again. She had no right to be upset. Her daughter did. She kept her voice even blocking out every emotion running through her, from the consuming love and the irrational fear born from motherhood. "What do you want, Helena?"
There was a pause before she answered with twitch of her lip. "Any history of family illness I should be aware of?"
Selina let out a snort of air. "Live a normal life and you'll die fast, live a fast one and you'll die slow."
Helena's brow twisted and confusion and Selina stood, walking over to where she kept a small supply of booze such a case as this. "Would you like something to drink?"
Helena blinked away her confusion. "Rum if you got it."
Selina looked at her with a perfectly arched eyebrow. "You're not old enough."
Helena kept her face blank, fighting between anger and surprise. "You remember my birthday?"
Selina went back to making her drink. "Honey, someday when you ruin your five hundred dollar Manolo Blahniks when your water breaks and then spend fourteen hours pushing out your child you will understand that you can never forget that day. Now, Coke or Pepsi?"
Helena turned away from Selina for the first time since entering the room. "Water, if you got it."
Selina finished fixing her drink and grabbed a bottle of Avian for her daughter. She placed the drinks down and sat again. She took a sip before asking, "What do you really want to know, Helena?"
Helena made no move to take her water. She just stared at the droplets falling off it. "Why? I just want to know why?"
Selina took another drink. "It's complicated."
Helena slammed her hand down on the desk next to the water that no longer held her attention. "Well, I would fucking hope so! I would like to think someone wouldn't give up their daughter for nothing."
Selina downed the rest of her drink, slamming the glass on the desk. She quickly rose to refill it. "I didn't let you go because I didn't love you. I gave you up because I loved you so much."
Helena's voice wavered for a moment. "Funny way of showing it."
Selina replace the cap of her bottle with more force than necessary. She took up her drink again but instead of returning to her chair she stepped behind it, studying the painting behind it. She had bought it ten years ago from a street artist. It was simply titled "Pain" and while Selina's critical eye tore it apart, her gut loved it. She took another drink before turning to face her daughter again. She returned with the natural grace and confidence that was her signature. She resumed her spot in her chair with the same flair of a queen returning to her throne. She set down her drink. "If anyone ever tries to give you advice or describe the feeling of parenthood to you Helena, they are full of shit. There is nothing to describe it. I had you for a year, my daughter. A year of full of messy diapers, spit-up, non-stop crying and sleepless nights that I wouldn't change for the world. Never doubt it when I say I love you."
Sadness gripped Helena. "Then why?"
Selina took another drink. "What do you know of the notorious underelements of Gotham? The rogues and the Dark Knight?"
"What does that have to do with anything?"
Selina traced the edge of her glass with a manicured finger. "It funny how the public view of it gets so distorted. Sometimes making it too dark, usually making it too glamorous. Insane murderers dressed to brightly and heroes in darkness. It was a dangerous world, no place for love."
Helena briefly wondered if it was a habit of her mother's to talk so ambiguously. "What are you talking about?"
Selina abandoned her glass and seat, getting up and walking over to face Helena. She let the back of her fingers softly brush against Helena's cheek. "I was Catwoman and I made a lot of enemies there in the underworld. You were in danger the minute you were born. I thought I could protect you. I was wrong and almost paid the ultimate price when you were taken and nearly killed. I choose to lose you to other parents rather than death."
For another moment the world stopped, words hanging in the air.
"If I could turn you attention to the posted fourth quarter profits, I would like to point out the three percent increase in revenue is misleading, as our expenses increased by two point five percent. Therefore, only showing an overall profit gain of point five."
Tim wondered if it was really possible to die of boredom. If it was, than this man could be deadlier than the Joker with a squirt gun. He let his mind drift, but it didn't go far, only to earlier that day when he met Bruce with some unsettling news.
Bruce and Tim always held their meetings in an unused conference room. This practice came from several minor power struggles in each man's office when they would both try to position themselves behind the desk. Tim suggested the final solution, so they were in a boardroom with several more seats than they needed. They sat next to each other in the middle of the large table, and Bruce reading reports and Tim trying to figure out how he was going to tell Bruce some very unwelcome news.
Bruce put down the folders and regarded Tim. "It all looks good except I think you are throwing far too much money away on the further development in hover cars."
Tim shrugged. "People want hover cars."
Bruce wasn't going to be dissuaded. "People don't know what they want, they just have seen too many movies. It's just like laser guns."
"Which we developed five years ago. Bruce, it's not a terrible idea if we can solve the fuel efficiency problems."
"Or what fuel to use period."
Bruce moved to leave, but Tim stopped him. "Bruce, wait. There's something I need to tell you."
Bruce leaned his cane back on the table and gave Tim his full attention. Tim took a deep breath before continuing. "My father has been going to the hospital for tests lately. Yesterday he got the results. He has an inoperable tumor in his left lung, probably from when he smoked in his youth. The doctors gave him five to ten years. I have to leave Wayne Industries and go take over Drake Industries."
Bruce sat for a moment. "I'm sorry about your father but why does this mean you have to leave? Wayne Industries could buy out Drake and then you could take over both."
Tim shook his head, rising from his chair. "I can't do that to my father. Drake Industries is his legacy; I have to continue it for him. You're a second father to me Bruce, but you are second."
Bruce sat in silence for a moment. "How much time do you need?"
"I want to be gone within a year, but I will give you two to find a replacement. Bruce, I'm sorry for the position this puts you in."
Bruce abruptly stood, grabbing his cane with authority. "Don't apologize for you decisions. It's a sign of weakness."
Hours later and it still weighed on Tim's mind. He knew he was making the right choice, but he also knew by making it he'd all but abandoned Bruce and his legacy.
And Tim had always secretly criticized Dick for leaving Bruce.
"You were Catwoman?"
Selina studied the confused admiration on Helena's face. "Yes."
Helena accepted the answer with a nod but her face didn't change. "So were you really a…"
She didn't continue the question but Selina understood what she was asking from her embarrassed look. "I was never the man-hater Pamela was but she was right about how the rogue women were always portrayed so weakly next to the men."
Helena's face took on a look of new confusion. "Pamela?"
Selina held her daughter's eyes. "Poison Ivy. Yes, the male rogues were just crazy but the women were weak victims. Just because people can't believe I became Catwoman without an abusive husband, crime lord father, or pimp, for that matter."
Helena stayed quiet for a moment before tentatively asking, "May I ask why you became Catwoman?"
Selina shrugged. "Money. I wish it was more romantic or interesting, but then I wouldn't have been the only sane rogue. I was orphaned at a young age and I wanted my security back. Besides, I was good at what I did, one of the best."
Helena noticed the far away look and pressed further. "What was it like, being Catwoman?"
Selina sat down, the dreaming look still present. "Amazing. There's nothing quite like feeling the wind on your face from a thousand feet up in the air. That glorious feeling of flight that comes in a controlled fall. That marvelous kick of adrenaline from fighting and running. It's in the blood that need for excitement."
Then Selina caught Helena totally off guard.
She purred.
Helena recovered quickly, seeing her opportunity to ask her real question. "What was my father like?"
Selina instantly stiffened, her eyes hardening. "He was a detective."
Selina rose, not meeting Helena's eyes again. Still, Helena pressed. "I figured that much out. It's just he's dead, I wanted a little more."
Selina faced her painting again, effectively shutting Helena out. "I didn't know he was dead."
Helena got up from her own spot. She walked over to stand at her mother's side on the right of the painting, trying her best to face her mother. "What did you know about him?"
Selina turned from Helena's gaze. "Your father is kind of a tough subject for me, Helena."
Helena reached out and touched her arm. "Just give me something else."
Selina faced her daughter again, giving her cheek another soft caress. "You have his eyes."
For a brief instant Helena leaned into the caress but immediately caught herself, moving away, suddenly uncomfortable. "I should go. It's been a draining day."
Before she could run out the door, Selina stopped her, quicker than a woman her age should be, keeping one hand on the door and both eyes trained on Helena. "Helena, I know it takes time to forgive, but I would love to get to know this woman you've become."
Helena gave a small smile. "So would I."
Then she left without another word and Selina settled on her couch with an eerie calm, feeling a need to cry for things she thought were far past.
It was too much for one day and Helena found she couldn't sleep. So she decided to try what calmed and soothed her mother so, and found that high atop the watchtower of Gotham her blood sang. In finding her real parents, she'd found that missing piece she could never quite place.
Her mother was Catwoman. Helena struggled to remember everything she'd ever heard about the Gotham rogues and the legend of Batman. She wondered if Batman was real, she should've asked. She knew all the stories of Batman and Catwoman too, she wondered about the truth behind them.
She had heard Barbara's voice coming from Selina's phone. Barbara had said they were old friends, or something to that effect, with a complicated connection. Now that Helena saw the pictures and meet the woman for herself she could see the striking resemblance. How come Barbara didn't notice it until she saw Helena fight?
Helena played everything she'd learned over in her head. Placing things together and making careful connections until she was interrupted.
"What are you doing up here?"
It was a cold and frightening voice meant to frighten the criminals of Gotham. Helena was no criminal and turned to face Batwoman without fear.
"Hello Cassie."
