Happy Friday everyone! See you Monday!
If he had slept at all, he didn't remember it. The early morning sunlight filtered into the room, making what seemed awful in the dim light of the moon outright horrifying in the morning. Logically Lucky knew the stitches hadn't actually become bigger or redder overnight, certainly he had watched them all night to account for that. But somehow they seemed that way now.
His family had kept a steady presence through the long night, but at some point even his father had to sleep. He had managed to sneak a quick trip down to the waiting room while Tony and Lisa visited with Cameron but that had seemed too long to be away. What if he had missed something? What if Cameron needed him and he wasn't there?
"Morning buddy." He whispered to Cameron, hoping for some reaction. "It's time to get up now you know." It had been nothing more than a wish. A fantasy born of watching far too many movies with Dillon, but he had to try.
"I heard Robin brought enough food for an army but I thought you might want some coffee." It had been so long since Lucky had actually heard anyone; he actually jumped when Cruz's voice reached his ears. Turning around, Lucky spotted his friend standing in the doorway, holding a cup from the local coffee shop down the street.
Cruz shrugged and made his way further into the room, trying to keep his eyes on Lucky, attempting to gauge if this was the right move or not. "I thought you'd want this more than that diesel fuel they try to pass off as coffee in the nurse's lounge."
Lucky took the cup cautiously. Feeling the hot liquid slip down his throat he felt the usual morning jolt hit his system. "Thanks." he offered.
"You needed it and I think your family has drunk everything within five feet of this room."
The two men fell silent as they both looked at the small boy, lying still on the bed. Cruz had no idea what he was supposed to say here. He had was still in shock over Bobbie's own pregnancy and couldn't even begin to imagine being in the same place as his friend. The fact Lucky was even standing this morning impressed him. Cruz had a pretty good idea he would be on the floor, curled into the fetal position.
"How's he doing is a stupid question isn't it?" Cruz wondered out loud.
"Falls under the category of obvious." Lucky shrugged.
An uncomfortable silence fell over the two friends as each wondered what to say to the other. Lucky was still angry about the months of lies his friend and aunt had let him live with. Ok it wasn't the easiest subject to broach but still there should have been an alternative. It would take years of therapy to get that image out of his mind.
Cruz still wasn't sure what he was feeling towards Lucky. His friend had been blindsided. So on that level he understood his reaction but it still hurt Lucky hadn't even been interested in hearing him out. Or that he ran after Bobbie dropped her announcement on him. Jess hadn't announced her pregnancy in any better way and Cruz had stuck around to support Lucky once he found out what was going on.
"I don't think we've ever been this quiet before." Cruz pointed out, breaking the silence.
"There had to be some point." Lucky argued. "We go to movies."
"Which we talk through." Cruz refuted. "Nope since I met you this is the quietest we've ever been."
"First time for everything I guess." Lucky went to sit down again in the chair from hell. Would it kill the hospital to invest in chairs that were made of something other than plastic from 1970?
"Damn it Lucky. I'm trying here." Cruz swore, momentarily forgetting Cameron's presence. "Do you have to make everything so difficult?"
"I am my father's son." Lucky admitted. "Look it's not like I like being mad at you..."
"And here comes the 'but.'" Cruz predicted. "Hit me."
"Aunt Bobbie and mom always said violence never solved anything."
"He still makes jokes. A good sign."
"Maybe I didn't react in the best possible way." Lucky allowed, ignoring the eye roll his admission caused in Cruz. "But I didn't exactly find out because you sat me down and just told me."
"Why exactly were the two of you there anyways?" It was the one thing Cruz couldn't figure out. Their anger he expected. But why had they even been in his house without announcing their presence?
Lucky groaned and closed his eyes. He didn't really want to admit to this again. "Patrick saw you and Elizabeth at the anniversary party and was convinced she was your secret girlfriend. We fought about it and the only way he would shut up was if we went to your place and saw for ourselves. Didn't see her car but once we got in and saw your set up, I made the mistake of giving his idea credit."
"You listened to Patrick about relationship stuff? Patrick?" Cruz shook his head. "I'm going to be helping Elizabeth enact revenge again aren't I?"
"I have the sympathy vote right now but once that wears off? Most likely."
Cruz shook his head. "I don't know how you are even standing man. If it were my kid? I don't think I could handle it."
Lucky shook his head at the memory of his aunt announcing his friend's impending fatherhood. All that it had been missing was the bald security guy from Jerry Springer. "Talk to me in nine months and we'll compare notes." Lucky paused as a thought struck him. "How long will it be until then?"
"Closer to seven." Dr. Lansing hadn't been able to be specific at the appointment but the doctor had been fairly sure Bobbie was two months along.
Lucky nodded slowly. Seven months and his friend would be the father of his newest cousin. Lucky took another sip of his coffee and wished there had been some alcohol in it. Surely that would make this situation somewhat easier to understand. "Scared out of your mind?"
"Terrified."
"See why I ran away?"
"You came back."
"Because you made me." Lucky sighed. "I'm not the best support system right now man but give me some time."
"You got it."
Luke had returned to his club and Bobbie knew it was because hospital visits, no matter the duration, had always made him uncomfortable. He had justified his sudden, yet brief, departure by pointing out that his son wasn't going to leave Cameron long enough for any of them to visit with the boy. As of this morning, Lucky hadn't left the room. Had it not been for her workload at school, Laura wouldn't have been able to talk her daughter into returning to Port Charles University. Laura, Lisa, Tony, Dillon, and Lucas had left a little while ago with the promise of being back by noon at the latest. Georgie had switched shifts with one of her co-workers so that she could take and pick up Lance and Morgan from school today. Logan hadn't returned after his scuffle with his brother the previous night. Elizabeth and Robin had gone back to the school and the bakery with the insistence that they would camp out in the waiting room once evening settled upon the town. Patrick was the only one keeping Bobbie from being completely alone and he wasn't exactly talking her ear off.
Bobbie glanced nervously toward Cameron's hospital room. Cruz had walked in over an hour ago and he hadn't come back yet. She hadn't heard anything that might have been construed as a struggle, but she knew her nephew was talented. Even in his current state, Lucky was no closer to forgiving them than Patrick. She had worked past her own regret and could finally see this pregnancy as a good thing. If she could patch things up with her nephews and Cameron could wake up and join them at the family table, she wouldn't ask for another thing. She had started praying when she got the call from Laura and she hadn't stopped since.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Patrick figured he would regret starting a conversation this way, but he didn't have much choice. He couldn't stand her being mad at him. What really pissed him off--and he didn't care if he was right in this upsetting him or not--was how comfortable Bobbie had been with Cruz last night. He knew they'd been keeping their relationship under wraps so he shouldn't have expected them to be obvious in the beginning, but how could he have missed the way his aunt lit up when his best friend stepped into the same room with her? He had tried to bring up the argument of family loyalty with Robin, but she had put an end to the train wreck that was that conversation. She had asked him if he agreed with what Logan had said about the two of them dating. Of course he had dropped the topic altogether at that point, not wanting to push his luck.
"Talk about what?" Bobbie didn't want to assume he was referring to the pink elephant in the room. It was assumptions that had gotten her into trouble in the first place. She had decided, early on, that her family couldn't handle her relationship with Cruz and then felt warranted in hiding it from them. What was worse, she had actually made Cruz question his importance to her. All of her assuming had almost cost her a life with the man she loved. They hadn't discussed the future, at least nothing past doctor visits, and she wasn't in any hurry to determine their future. She had watched plenty of women get themselves pregnant in this town and then hook onto the man they wanted without a second thought as to what that man might have wanted. Bobbie would like to think she was smarter than they were.
"What would you like to talk about?" It had gotten to the point where Patrick would discuss anything save their respective sex lives if it got her talking to him. Truth be told, if he had been treated half as badly as he had treated her the other night, he would have stood up and walked away. It was the curse of all Drake men: when things got hard, the best thing to do was walk away. His father and brother were a perfect testament to that. He, himself, had been. He liked to believe that he had at least matured a little bit since then. Somewhere along the way he had realized just how far he would go to make sure that his family was protected. He had to make things right. He couldn't live the rest of his life without his Aunt Bobbie.
"I should have trusted you and the rest of the family with the truth." Bobbie announced meeting his startled coffee eyes with a wise brown stare of her own. She would have to work her way through the rest of the family until each of them understood why she had acted the way she had, and for so long. Right now, she would focus on Patrick. Next, she was going to have to find a way to talk to Lucas without him leaving the room.
Patrick chuckled uncomfortably, "We're not an imaginative bunch." It was a lame response, but he wanted to keep the conversation as light as possible. The last thing he wanted was for his apology to come out sounding like another accusation.
Bobbie would have to make sure not to mention the baby. It wasn't as if the entire family wasn't well aware, but she wanted to work through the hurt one step at a time and that meant that Patrick had to be able to wrap his mind around his best friend and his aunt dating and possibly getting married one day before she could expect him to ask her specific questions about their baby. "Are we talking about the same family?" Bobbie teased him. "Why did you need to know so badly, Patrick? That's what I just don't understand. He would have told you. Did you feel threatened?" Bobbie challenged in a trembling voice.
Patrick nodded slowly. "Yeah, I guess I did. Here was my friend with this great girl and I could tell how much he cared about her. We'd ask him questions and he'd just wave them off. It wasn't any of our business and I should have respected his decision to keep your private business well private."
"Where do we go from here?" Bobbie wondered as she placed her index finger on Patrick's chin and convinced him to meet her eyes again.
"Let's start with congratulations." Patrick smiled.
"So I guess it's a good thing we got this instead of a cool vehicle now huh?" Lucas teased his husband.
In their hurry to get to the hospital last night, they had jumped into the minivan over Dillon's convertible since it was parked closest to the street. And now with Laura, Tony, and Lisa in the backseats it was actually proving useful. There was no way everyone would have fit in the back of Dillon's car. Everyone would have been sitting on Dillon's lap.
"Be quiet." Dillon grumbled. "There is no good reason to have this car."
"Thank you for doing this." Laura interrupted their banter effortlessly.
"No problem Aunt Laura. We're happy to help." Lucas answered her quickly.
"I know this is probably the last thing you thought you'd be doing today." Laura whispered to them, placing a ribbon in her book to mark her page.
Dillon turned in the passenger seat and looked at her. "We're just glad we can do something."
"How much further?" Tony asked from the backseat.
"Not long. A few more miles." Lucas answered.
"I swear, sometimes you're as impatient as a--" Lisa berated, folding her hand over his.
"A child? Is that what you were going to say?" Tony snapped impatiently.
"I understand how hard this is for both of you. It's not any easier for us, let me assure you." Laura cut in. "Please, let's just try to stay calm."
"Mrs. Spencer, please don't tell us how we should be feeling today." Tony muttered, pulling his hand away from his wife's.
"Laura, he means no disrespect." Lisa promised with a quick nod of her head.
"Stop making excuses for me." Tony shot back.
"Enough!" Lucas yelled from the driver's seat. "I cannot focus on driving and mediating. If you'd rather walk, let me know now." He warned.
Somehow Dillon sensed making a joke right now would be a bad move. Tony Grimes was reminding him of his own grandfather Edward. He decided the best course of action would be to do what his grandmother Lila would do, which was ignore him and talk with someone more pleasant. Dillon turned around in his seat and sought Lisa's eyes. "Do you have some place to stay while you're here? Our place isn't that big but you are welcome to use it if you would like."
"As sweet as that is, we're staying at the Metro Court. Tony has a bad back." Lisa explained, hoping she could cool her husband's temper.
"Well that will be a better option than our house. Our son likes to hide toys in interesting places."
"Where is your son today?" Tony asked, not sure why he was participating in the conversation.
"He's at school and then Lucas's cousin Georgie will be watching him for us." Dillon explained.
"How do you know that your son is actually safe? Do you have a sixth sense that the rest of us lack?"
"I don't. I just have to trust he is and go on." Dillon shrugged.
"You think that's what it takes to keep your children safe?" Tony challenged. "A naive belief that everything will be fine?"
"No. But I also don't think keeping Lance in a bubble or locked in the house is the answer either."
"Stop this, Anthony." Lisa whispered harshly to her husband. "You're not helping anyone."
"Be quiet." Tony retorted. "Isn't it true, Lucas, that your little sister was killed in a bus accident several years ago?"
The silence took on a heavy edge. Lucas barely glanced at the other man in the mirror, but Dillon could see his hand tighten on the steering wheel. "Yes." Lucas answered through tightly pressed lips.
"And your mother, she sent you and your sister off to school believing that 'everything would be fine,' correct?" Tony pressed on.
"I don't know where you're going with this." Laura warned. "But you need to learn when to shut your mouth."
"Let him answer the question, Mrs. Spencer." Tony countered.
"She did. But no one can predict the future Mr. Grimes." Lucas answered. Silently he added, because if you could you would see you are about to get thrown out of a moving car.
"And now little Cameron has been in an accident because your cousin was not watching him as she should have been." Tony continued, ignoring his wife's glaring eyes and refusing to acknowledge Laura's reaction at all.
"Who do you think you are, accusing my daughter this way?" Laura snarled at him.
"I'm just trying to show these two that there is no such thing as fool-proof protection when it comes to your children. They tell me their son is safe, but I bet you they haven't called once to check on him." Tony reasoned.
"Are we still allowed to speak up in our own defense or are we to be talked about while you pass judgment on us?" Dillon wanted to know.
"He won't be passing judgment on anyone." Lisa spoke up. "And I know this because with every nasty word, he is spitting on the memory of our daughter." Her eyes never left Tony's.
Tony didn't say another word and Lisa turned her eyes to the window to hide her tears. He wanted to comfort her, but Laura beat him to it and moved her hand lightly to Lisa's left shoulder. What else could he say? Things never got better, only worse.
Lucas and Dillon just looked at each other and silently agreed any further conversation would be disastrous at best. Dillon flipped through the radio stations, searching for anything low and soothing, finally settling on the local soft rock station. The last few miles passed in quiet contemplation until Lucas pulled the car into park and softly broke the silence.
"We're here."
Leaning his dark head on the window, Cruz glanced towards the small garden courtyard underneath him. The green spaces offered the promise of peace for the patients well enough to visit them. Even from five stories up, Cruz could spot a small swing set tucked away in the far corner for families to play together. If he closed his eyes, Cruz could just imagine Cameron swinging on the swings, hearing him begging to go higher. Blinking rapidly, he turned away and looked back down the corridor or pediatric intensive care rooms. Behind one of those doors, Cameron was fighting to come back to them and for the life of him Cruz did not know how his friend was doing this.
As he walked along the halls, Cruz struggled to come to grips with the emotions of the past few days. The shock of being discovered. The anger at his friends for their reactions. The fear for Cameron. The mixture of fear and excitement at his own impending fatherhood. It was almost enough to send him on a quest down the hall, up the elevator, and right into the psychiatric office of Kevin Collins.
Without his conscious decision, Cruz found himself walking towards the waiting room, the unofficial Team Spencer home base while Cameron was in the hospital. When he had snuck down the hall earlier, almost the entire family had been sitting in the chairs and adjusting the schedule to make sure there was always someone with Lucky or Cameron. Well, Cruz amended, everyone but Logan. The young man had disappeared last night after the fight with Patrick and as far as Cruz knew, hadn't been seen since. Not that he was that big of a loss, Cruz thought wryly.
He must have spent more time with Lucky than he realized, since now almost everyone was gone. Only Patrick remained, sitting slouched in one of the chairs, his long legs propped on the seat directly across from him, staring blankly at the TV screen mounted on the wall. Confronting Patrick wasn't going to be any easier than confronting Lucky had been, but Cruz knew it had to be done. Swallowing what little of his pride he had left, Cruz made his way over to sit next to his best friend. "Anything good on?"
"Nope. I went and missed the morning soap operas." Patrick remarked dryly, not lifting his head or looking toward his friend. He had recognized his voice and responded only on instinct.
"Damn. I know how much you love the one about the mobsters with the hearts of gold."
"The only reason the main guy can fall back on the brain damaged storyline is because of the excessive gel in his hair. No man in his right mind would need so much. Or the makeup." Patrick answered, finding a smirk. "And, besides, I only watch for that cute little doctor anyway." Patrick added with a confident nod of his head.
"Keep telling yourself that. We both know its because you desire to be a big bad hit man."
"Would I be able to shoot straight?"
"No more than Grease Boy does."
"Have you gotten sleep?" Patrick couldn't help but ask. He was concerned. So what? He didn't hate this man.
"Not much." Cruz admitted. "You?"
"I haven't been able to sleep with my eyes open since I was a little kid. And I haven't wanted to sleep just in case something changes." Patrick admitted. He hadn't even been able to visit little Cam's room out of fear that the scene would bring back past memories and render him immobile. He had offered support in his presence, but he had not taken a single step toward his second cousin's room. What he had wanted to know he had asked Robin.
"I thought I recognized the 'open mouth head bob' from Sociology." Cruz nodded. Falling into silence, the two strained friends continued to stare at the TV as they each struggled to find something to say. Cruz had to admit he was curious as to why Patrick was the only family member that hadn't gone back to check on Lucky since Cameron had been moved to his room. He had noticed his friend's complete absence on the master schedule. Realizing he was a reporter precisely because he never could ignore a question that formed in his mind, Cruz blurted out the only explanation he could come up with. "Are you and Lucky fighting or something?"
"No." Patrick shook his head, wishing Cruz would drop it but knowing he wouldn't. He had been born with an insatiable need to know everything. And sometimes it was damned inconvenient. This was one of those times.
"Then why aren't you going back there? I thought the whole plan of the schedule was there would always be someone in the room with him. I assume its your turn since I don't see anyone around."
"Cameron has Lucky. They're fine." Patrick hated how the words had come out sounding. He'd rather be accused of being an insensitive jerk than a hopeless sap. Truth be told, he didn't know what he'd tell Lucky anyway. Making a joke at this point would have been unappreciated and inappropriate. He doubted he'd be able to distract his cousin long enough for him to feel some kind of relief. It wasn't the relationship they had. They called each other out on their fuck-ups, but never their insecurities.
"Try selling that cold as ice bastard attitude to someone who might possibly believe you."
"What do you want, Cruz? You get to step up and be the better friend. Go ahead." Patrick motioned his arm toward the hospital room.
"You know I get why you're pissed at me. I do. And fine, whatever, that's your problem not mine at this moment. But I have known the two of you for a long time and I'm telling you I know there is something up. Now you can tell me, or I'll go bug Lucky about it, which he won't care for right now or I'll start asking questions of other people. It's your choice."
"Are you threatening me?" Patrick asked incredulously, his eyebrows lifting at the implication. "Don't use that professional tone with me Mr. Rodriguez."
"All I got from Lucky is the two of you came over to my house to prove some point wrong and that's when all hell broke loose. I admit I wasn't too sure of much that day but I was pretty sure the two of you were ok, but ever since Lucky came out of the ER, you've barely talked to him." Cruz held up his hand in protest. "This isn't about some macho contest. I'm just trying to figure out what the hell has been going on lately. My own life has been confusing enough without trying to figure yours out as well."
Patrick's eyes shot to his hands. Cruz actually sounded sincere. As much as he wanted to tell him everything in that moment, something was holding him back. Yeah, it's called pride, a voice that sounded an awful lot like Robin's spoke up. Lucky already knew, but not because Patrick had told him. He had yet to tell any other member of his family. A part of him pointed out that he would have gone right over to Cruz's and told him right after the fight he had with Lucky--more than prepared for the same fight--if he hadn't discovered who his best friend's lover actually was. And, from their secret affair they had created a child together. A child that Patrick could already picture in his aunt's arms. A baby with his father's dark hair and his mother's sparkling brown eyes. Patrick didn't want his friend to have anything else to deal with on the one hand. On the other, he no longer felt as if he could trust him. "I'll go in there when I'm good and ready. I'm not ready yet." Patrick whispered.
"You know hiding out here isn't going to make you any more ready." Cruz pointed out. He kept the point that he hadn't been anywhere near ready to confront Lucky but he had gone back there to himself. That, Cruz rationalized, would probably start a fight that would land both of them in jail or in the hospital.
Patrick could have been cruel in that moment. He could have brought up all that Cruz had hidden from him, but not without taking a serious look at his own lies, his own betrayal. He had made the decision that the people who mattered most to him were not strong enough to handle what had happened to him, what he had made happen. And, while he had been telling the God's honest truth when he'd stressed to Robin how much he didn't regret his decision to save her, he couldn't go around pretending that he didn't wonder sometimes. Would she have been just as fine or worse off if he had just waited for the ambulance to get there? Had his removing her from the car in the first place sent her into an unnecessary coma?
"I'm here, aren't I?" He snapped squeezing his eyes tightly shut as he warded off an oncoming headache. He didn't go on to say what really kept him out of that hospital room. He didn't want to face his demons, didn't want to remember when his mother had laid in a bed similar to Cameron's or the last words she had said to him. Truth be told, he didn't want to be here now, waiting, for something good or something bad he wasn't sure, strangled by the smell of death and the stress of the unpredictable.
"Yeah you're here." Cruz sighed. He realized his friend had issues with hospitals but he was under the impression that after his vigil for Robin's coma Patrick had made some progress on that front. Then again he hadn't actually been allowed to get near the room that time, but still Patrick hadn't stopped trying to get in. From what Cruz had seen, Patrick hadn't set a foot outside of the waiting room. "In case you were wondering, Lucky seems to be holding up ok."
"I know. Robin told me." Patrick answered in a clipped tone. "And before you say anything, I haven't gone in for a number of reasons, but not because I care about Robin more than Cameron. A lot has happened since she was here."
Cruz cocked his eyebrow. "Oh really? Care to enlighten me?"
"The night she was brought in..." Patrick figured if he was going to spill, he might as well work himself up to it. If he really expected to get through this, he was going to go over every detail so that his friend wouldn't have too many questions at the end. He still didn't think he was ready to fill in the blanks, but he also knew that the confrontation with Lucky had just been the tip of the iceberg. Cruz wouldn't yell as his cousin had; he was far too internalized for it. "She told me something."
Now things were getting interesting. "Such as?"
"She didn't want me to get her out of the car, kept screaming for me to wait for the ambulance, but patience has never been my strong suit and I didn't know how long it would take them to get there." Patrick sighed, rubbing his temple with the pad of his thumb. He didn't want to talk about it, didn't want to re-visit the scene, not when he had worked this hard to block out. But didn't Cruz deserve to know? How much longer could he really keep up the charade that he was fine, that he was untouched?
"Yeah I know how much waiting three whole minutes kills you."
Patrick resisted the urge to give Cruz the bird, but it was damned tempting. "I finally asked her why and she told me that she was HIV positive." He waited a beat, let the information soak in. As he prepared to go on, Cruz cut him off. He should have been expecting that.
"Wait...she's what?" Cruz shook his head. Robin couldn't be HIV positive. Logan wouldn't have kept that quiet. "No seriously what did she tell you?"
Patrick would have laughed if this situation had allowed it. A hollow, humorless laugh. "She was infected as a teenager." Patrick clarified quietly.
The truth began to sink in slowly. Robin was HIV positive. He had to admire the way she kept her personal business away from the entire town for so long. Logan would have had to have known, he reasoned. Robin would have told him if she told Patrick before they even admitted they liked each other. And Logan hadn't told anyone? It was almost enough to make Cruz somewhat like the younger man. Almost but not quite. The rest of the story he knew from that night started to come back to him slowly. "Wait, you pulled her out of the car."
"Yeah. And I wouldn't change that for anything. I just wish she didn't blame herself for it--" Patrick began, but Cruz interrupted him again.
"Alright I might be slow on the uptake here but you're actually ok with the fact you exposed yourself to HIV?" Cruz shook his head. Turnabout must be fair play, he mused because he was getting the impression this was exactly how his friends felt when they found out his news.
"No." Patrick admitted solemnly. "I'm not okay."
"That's why you've been acting like an asshole isn't it? You had tests or something done."
"I've had two done since then, yes. And when is me being an asshole a new development?" Patrick cringed at the lame joke, but noticed Cruz's sucky attempt at trying to smile.
"It's not but I do always like to have an explanation for the behavior." Cruz knew the smile on his face was fake but it was all he could think to do. Was he a horrid person to not know his friend was going through this alone? And why the hell was Patrick going through this alone? Why was he just finding out about this now?
"There's nothing I can really say to explain keeping it from you and Lucky as long as I did...or the rest of the family. Robin told Elizabeth and, well I guess that explains why Lucky knows. I wanted to tell you together, but it just didn't happen that way. Lucky called me on it the night we found about you and Bobbie. I know you're mad..." Patrick stared down at his shoes, wishing he had a shovel to make the hole deeper, to conceal himself better. Cruz's expression had turned from confused to uncomfortable and now he looked equally upset and betrayed.
Cruz realized he had very little leg to stand on in the whole "friends don't keep secrets from each other" side of the coin. He'd let Lucky handle that line of the argument. But still he felt betrayed. Before he became involved with Bobbie, the three of them had shared everything. Crushes, jobs, grades. He was still one of the two people who knew what grade Patrick had really made in his lone required math course. Every major turning point in his life since that first day in the freshman dorm had been discussed and shared with them. Yes, Cruz realized he had kept his own secrets but he could at least articulate reasons for them. Patrick just seemed to not get around to it. "I'm not sure if I have any ground in the mad department right now." he admitted.
"The lies have just built up and up, haven't they? What happened to us? We were the Three Musketeers practically. It's damn scary how much easier it got to justify lying to everyone I cared about as time went on." Patrick still couldn't lift his eyes. He swallowed down the golf-ball sized lump in his throat.
"It's terrifying how easy that becomes. I don't know what happened. I'm sure Laura would say something about growing up or something but that doesn't seem right to me."
"Me either." Patrick shook his head. "And I jumped all over you for doing the exact same thing." He muttered. "Though, my aunt? That still boggles me." Maybe one of these days they could laugh about all of this, but that wasn't the case right now. The wounds were still too fresh in their minds. Tempers were cut shorter and shorter with the rising and setting of the sun.
"It still throws me at times." Cruz shook his head. "Trust me it's not like I saw this coming when you first introduced us in freshman year."
"Do you love her?" It was obvious Bobbie loved Cruz, but Patrick had to know that the feeling was mutual. He couldn't watch her give her heart to someone who didn't know what to do with it. That is, if he ever expected to get used the idea. Though it should have been that way, creating a child together didn't mean that love was a requirement.
"Yes." Cruz answered simply. He would have thought it would have been obvious. There was no way he would have risked his friends for something less than love. Patrick should know him better than that. At least he did once.
"Then I guess I can't really stay mad at you. I've already apologized to my aunt. I guess it's about time I apologized to you too." Patrick cautiously raised his head and caught Cruz's stare.
"Wow. I didn't think you knew the word apologize."
"How could I not and be dating Robin Scorpio of all people?" Patrick remarked dryly.
"True. By now you must be the master of it." Cruz laughed. "But I have to apologize to you too."
"I should have respected your privacy. I had no right to barge in." Patrick shook his head fervently.
"But you wouldn't have done that if I had just told you what was going on."
"A heads-up would have been preferred, but at least we're not lying to each other anymore." Patrick reasoned, his eyes shooting to Cameron's hospital room.
"If you want to know what is going on just go down there. It's not nearly as far a walk as you think."
Tony Grimes knelt down in front of his daughter's grave and touched his left hand to the cool cement of the headstone. Jessalyn Cameron Grimes. Lisa had taken the first name of her favorite soap actress from the early eighties and come up with Jessalyn. Though she had argued that Tony got the last name by default, he had talked her into naming their only daughter after his grandmother, Cameron. It wasn't a common name, but Lisa had adored his grandmother and declared the name a perfect way to honor her.
Jess had been out of his house for less than a decade before a drunk driver had claimed her life, stolen it from her like a heartless thief with no regard for the lives he was trampling all over. They hadn't ever caught the man, but Tony hadn't stopped looking in the two years since. Cameron hadn't been a full year old when he had lost his mother. He had not a single memory of how she had looked, how sweet her perfume had been--a brand she had loved as a small girl and taken with her into adulthood, Sweet Honesty--or how much she had loved him. He had only Lucky Spencer and the rest of the Spencer family to raise him. Tony and Lisa were lucky if they got one weekend a month with their only grandchild, the last link they had to their daughter.
Lucky treated Cameron like an ornament that looked best in his house, as opposed the Grimes' home. He spent time with him when it was convenient and sent him off to school to be raised by his teachers and Laura Spencer. Lisa had often accused Tony of clinging to Cameron a little too desperately and he supposed his wife was right. The kid had to know someone cared about him. If they had insisted on keeping Cameron longer he never would have gotten hurt. There wouldn't have been time for Spencer's little sister to lose track of her nephew and let him get attacked by that devil of a horse.
Lisa cried hysterically next to him. Leave it to his wife to blow this out of proportion. She was a God-fearing Catholic and had been her whole life. When Jess had been killed by that faceless s.o.b., Lisa had sworn it must have been her fault, or their lifestyle. And just what was wrong with how they lived? Tony had all but screamed at her, mere hours after their daughter's body was delivered to the hospital. They should find a way to get along with Lucky Spencer or he'd cut them completely out of little Cameron's life. Tony could at least agree with his wife on that point. He silently added, Cut us out like he tried to cut out Jess.
After three tests came back positive, she had gone to the hospital. Tony Grimes had been the last to know and that thought made him more and more bitter everyday. His wife had hidden it from him for a lot longer than she should have. It was only through a little teasing that he had stumbled upon the truth. He had wanted to hunt Lucky Spencer down right then, especially when he found out that the Father of the Year had disappeared on a road trip with his brainless best friends.
Only after being forced to be an adult by those same friends, Lucky and Jess had figured out what they would do. In the short weeks before she delivered, it was obvious that the young couple didn't love each other anymore--if they ever had. Still, after the birth of their only son, Jess had tried to cling to Lucky, tried to get him to see that he needed her. Tony had convinced her to dangle Cameron in front of Lucky as extra incentive to not leave his daughter feeling like a cheap whore. And, for a little while, the plan had worked beautifully. Then Jess had been killed and not a day went by that Tony didn't wonder how far Lucky would have gone if the collision hadn't killed her. Would he have crossed any line to get to keep his son safely with him? Well of course he would.
He wouldn't ask the question aloud, but Tony couldn't help but wonder. Had Lucky paid to have Jess killed? His back to the wall, worried he would lose his son with the flick of his girlfriend's wrist, had he seen no other solution but to remove her from the equation? The thought made Tony sick to his stomach, but the possibility had nagged him since the night Jess delivered Cameron.
He wanted to yell that he had stopped believing in God altogether, but what would that have really accomplished? He didn't want to break her heart again. She had been through enough. And she was the only reason they were still allowed to see Cameron. She was a great mediator between their two families. "I feel closer to Jess here, but I don't know what I'd say in a prayer."
"Let it come from your heart. She'll know it's you." Lisa assured him, tears welling up in her eyes. Jess had been a daddy's girl from the moment Tony had held their daughter in his arms. All of her dreams, her accomplishments, had been her way of getting her father to pay attention to her. And pay attention he had. He would have done anything for her, including send her off to a "reform" school and claim Cameron as his own. She knew her husband had wanted that. He had wanted their daughter to experience all aspects of life, but she had been just as stubborn as he about claiming her son.
"Darling, you know I've never been good at this sort of thing. We had the Catholic ceremony you wanted and raised our daughter under your beliefs. I've always been on the sidelines." Tony insisted.
"Then take my hand and we'll pray together." Lisa suggested, snatching up his hand before he could refuse her.
Laura stood off to the side, respectful of the other couple's grief. She knew she could never understand exactly what they were going through and was wise enough not to even verbalize anything that even suggested she could understand it. Her boys and Lulu were her whole world and the mere thought of losing any of them was enough to cripple her for life.
The memory of the first time she had ever met Jessalyn floated through her mind. Barely into his freshman year and Lucky had brought her home already to meet the rest of his family. It was probably the very reason Lucky as reluctant to bring anyone home to meet them anymore. And while she had nothing against the vivacious blonde her son had brought home, Laura hadn't thought the relationship would last long.
They had little in common. Jess was still trying to figure out exactly what she wanted to do in life. Laura had lost count of the number of majors the girl had had. It had been clear since the second he did the high school internship with Ned, Lucky was going to be in the music business. Both had hot tempers that appeared to get the better of them. And both had a tremendous talent for saying the worst possible thing at the worst possible moment.
She had pretended to be mystified as to why the young couple kept returning to each other, but Laura was no fool. She knew it was lust. Lust confused for love in two teenaged minds. Something both were starting to realize when they discovered Cameron was on his way.
Tony had been furious when they had decided to not get married. Laura remembered the explosion well. He had screamed and blamed Lucky with every fiber of his being. And while her son being a parent so soon after graduation was not what she wanted either, she had to admit the kids had made the right decision. It would have been one thing if Jess and Lucky had stayed together for four years, but they had broken up and reunited more times than anyone could remember. Lucky was even fuzzy on the exact number of break ups they had over the course of four years. A marriage would have been just as disastrous, and possibly more so with Cameron added in.
The last thing anyone had expected was the accident. Lucky had Cameron at their house for the weekend and was getting worried when Jess didn't show up. Jess had been almost compulsive about being on time, which often lead to fights with her more tardy son. He called Lisa and Tony to see if everything was alright just a few moments before the police showed up to inform them of her death. A neighbor had told Lucky the news when he called back later, concerned when Lisa hadn't called him back as promised. Cameron had only been nine moths old that day.
Her heart ached for them, as she moved to swipe away a tear. This has become her and Lisa's ritual in the past three years, both of them visiting Jess's grave on the anniversary of her death to give her updates on Cameron's life. It was their plan to bring Cameron with them when he was old enough. In fact, they had discussed starting to bring Cameron with them this year, so it would feel normal to him as he grew up. But that wasn't going to happen this year.
She turned her back to the other couple, giving them some privacy as they talked with their daughter. Laura wondered how they would explain that her son was in the hospital fighting for his life on the same day his mother lost hers.