XV. Well I don't know if I'm ready/To be the man I have to be/I'll take a breath, I'll take her by my side/We stand in awe, we've created life

Azog stood behind her with a hand on her back as she vomited for the third time that day, his concerns growing rapidly the more days passed and she continued to be sick. She could not eat anything, she couldn't bear the sight or smell of food, and she had no energy to speak to of; and then she would feel alright again, able to eat little nibbles, though she was still weary. He stayed by her side, laying next to her when she rested and sitting with her when she left the tent for air; he feared he'd leave her and she'd be dead when he returned. Illness was not common among orcs, at least not what was plaguing her.

Calla knew. Many women in her village had gone through a spell of sickness when with child, and it had been some time since last she bled; all of these, plus the tender aching in her breasts, were the signs she had been refusing to admit. But with another month, the sickness lessening, her breasts growing and aching more, and her stomach just starting to swell, she could ignore it no longer. And with knowing, so must she tell Azog; the problem was she did not know how he would react, if he would be pleased, or if he would hate her. But the biggest problem, was she did not know the words to tell him she was carrying his young; which left her with Yazneg.

"I have to tell him something," she said when she found him, standing at his side tiredly and speaking softly.

"That you are no longer ill?" he asked her. "You eat more, you look better."

Calla looked to the ground. "I suppose," she said so softly he almost didn't hear her.

"You know what made you ill?" he asked, his eyes narrowed as he stared hard at her, seeing on her face that something troubled her greatly; her face was so easy read, and it made pleasing her easy for she was quick to smile when she was happy – and the orcs enjoyed making her happy. She was not happy now.

She nodded, still staring at the ground unable to look at him. "I am pregnant," she told him in the tongue of man, the first she had spoken it in almost a year.

It took a moment for Yazneg to understand, not thinking he heard her clearly until he realized from her worried face that he had. "What is it you want me to do?" he asked her, knowing if Azog were to take the news badly then it would him who the pale orc turned on.

For the first time since she came to his side she turned her eyes to his. "I need to know how to tell him."

…

Azog returned to the tent that night, Calla having forced him to go see to what he needed to now that she felt well again. And he almost smiled when he saw her, a slight upturn of the corners of his mouth; all she thought he would be able to manage of a smile.

She smiled up at him, her lips falling into a straight line quickly. "How was your day?" she asked him, feigning nonchalant happiness.

"Good," he answered shortly laying next to her, rolling so he was atop her.

"No," she said pulling his hand away from her dress, "I don't want to tonight."

He stared down hard at her. "It has been months, when can I have you again?" he asked roughly, though his eyes were pleading.

She looked up at him helpless, words trying to form on her lips but unable to. "I still do not think I am well enough," she told him meekly, and with a sigh he rolled off of her and onto his side turned away from her. She looked at his back wishing he would let her lie on his chest, but he did not offer nor did he want her to in that moment.

She stood at Yazneg's side the next day, fiddling with her fingers as she watched Daisy fighting with a male who wished to mate her, and Daisy was having none of it.

"You did not tell him," Yazneg said, the easiest way for Azog not be to told yet was for them to speak in a tongue no one else understood.

She could hold his eyes not even a second. "I tried to," she defended herself pitifully. "He was upset because I would not lie with him."

"You are his mate," Yazneg told her, "you are expected to lie with him as he wishes."

"Well I can't at the moment," she said frustrated, worrying for not only Azog's reaction but what it would mean for her, and then for the child she hadn't even wanted; and even if ridding herself of it was an option, she wouldn't have taken it. But it did nothing for her worry which made her almost as sick as before.

Yazneg looked at her with only the slightest bit of pity. "Then tell him why," he offered as though it were obvious.

"But what if he does not want a child?" she asked him, looking at him with wide eyes that he could not refuse.

"He doesn't want one," Yazneg told her brutally. "You can't hide it much longer, I can see your stomach already."

Calla placed a hand on her belly and looked down, seeing it had grown and was now almost noticeably bigger; though it only looked as though she were eating too much. "But what if,"

"You will tell him," Yazneg said firmly silencing her. "Or I will. Who do you think he would react to better?" he asked her mercilessly.

"I don't know," she told him, and there lay her fear.

She did not tell him that night, she had tried and the words had stuck on her tongue unable to come loose. Azog had waited as patiently as he could before he growled and rolled away from her, finding her difficult in that moment. It was a few days of this before he could take it no longer.

"What?" he demanded at seeing her about to say something but hesitating. She looked up at him with large eyes worried and tired, but her lips were sealed. "What is it?"

"I, I am, you will," she stumbled over what she wanted to say, what she could say. And then she blurted it out. "I am pregnant."

Azog looked at her curiously and then he rolled his eyes. "So I can understand."

She sighed heavily trying to work up the courage once more, only to say it in her tongue again.

"Why can you not tell me?" Azog questioned frustrated, wishing she would just speak to him. "Are you able to answer that?"

She looked at him with pursed lips, unhappy with his tone but not commenting on it. "I am afraid you will not want me anymore," she told him, it being easier to tell him why she was worried than the cause of her troubles.

He looked at her incredulous, wondering how she could possibly believe he would ever not want her. "Is it because you have gotten fatter?" he asked making her looked at him shocked.

"I am not-" she stopped herself, taking a breath and releasing her feelings of offense. "I am not fat," she said calmer as she looked at him.

He stared at her waiting for her to speak, to tell him what it was. Until he realized it; she was not fat, though her stomach was now larger, her breasts were too and it made her wince when he touched them; she had also been acting strange, she was herself one minute and then the next she'd almost start crying.

She watched him, seeing the recognition and then the shock on his face; and she watched as his breathing quickened, and then as he turned on his heel and nearly lept out of the tent.

He had needed air, air that she was not breathing so he could think. He did not want a child, he had never given any thought to one; but faced with it now, he didn't want it. And yet she was pregnant, he had no choice. He may have gotten angry, been furious that this had happened and hurt her; but he was not the same orc he'd been when he first saw her as he leaned against a tree. He could nothing but remember her words; she was afraid he wouldn't want her. She was wrong, he wanted her always with him, her small hands and her beautiful face and her sweet smile; her body, her pleasure, his own pleasure he found in her. He wanted it all.

An hour he had left her, and he returned to see her covering her face with her hands as she cried. He had not behaved as he should have, she had been afraid he'd leave her, she was a woman with child and he had left without a word. Guilt spread through him as he listened to her small gasps for air, and he was struck with how much cared for her. Though he did not want this, though this was something he had never wanted and was unhappy to be having; he gathered her in his arms and held her until her tears ceased. And even then he still held her, feeling her still small stomach firm against him and wondered what it was he was supposed to do now.

song is With Arms Wide Open by Creed.

So next chapter will be her and him through her pregnancy, which will have some kinda cute moments. My only problem is that I know nothing about orc babies and orc children; I can't picture a little orc running around a camp. And yet I don't know how other way they'd grow, and I know they're not born full grown. Or if orc babies are taken and then raised by someone else to be killers. I really don't know. So I'm wondering if you guys have any ideas.