Wow, two chapters in two days! Must be a weekend. Oh, wait, it is a weekend. Well, that's not happening again until at least the next weekend, if at all. If I even update the story at all next weekend. For that matter, do not expect me to update on any sort of regular pattern, because I can almost guarantee that I won't be able to hold one (not that I don't want to, it's just that it's impossible with such a hectic life). Oh, and Perry chapter! Yeah, some forms of spying are a lot more glamorous than others...
Perry left the antique shop through the back door. The back of the building wasn't exactly as well-maintained as the rest of it; it looked dilapidated and smelled malodorous. It was never intended as camouflage for anything, but it masked quite well one of his lair entrances.
Ordinarily, Perry would've carefully counted steps to find the hidden door. But today he didn't have to. This was because, for a reason Perry couldn't understand, half an envelope was sticking out of the wall. Nearby, sitting undisturbed on the ground, was what looked like a gift basket.
Perry reached for the envelope, but it was stuck in the door well. He pulled harder, but it still wouldn't budge. He sighed, then jump-kicked into the door.
The good thing that happened was that the envelope came unstuck. The bad news was that the door came unstuck as well, and Perry was only barely able to grab the envelope before he went sailing down the concealed slide.
Now, Perry knew well that this slide led to his lair, and he was expecting to end up there. What he wasn't expecting was for the room to be pitch-black. He chattered as loudly as he could, but there was no indication that Major Monogram or anyone else was present.
Clutching the envelope in his left paw, he stuck out his right one and eventually found a wall. Moving along said wall, he encountered what was apparently a mounted button. He pressed it, and in an instant was flying up a chute similar to the one he'd come in by.
Although the chute was lit, it eventually grew as dark as the lair had been. There was a watery splash and a fleshy splat, followed by a burst of light and a voice: "What the hell?" Perry examined his surroundings, discovering that the exit he had used led directly to a toilet in a narrow bathroom stall, and that he had quite rudely interrupted the man who had been sitting on it.
As calmly as possible, Perry leaped out of the bowl, chattered apologetically, then crawled into the vacant stall to the right (and thanking his lucky stars that there even was an adjacent vacant stall). The envelope was slightly waterlogged now, but Perry opened it anyway and read the letter inside:
Agent P:
Sorry for the letter, but Carl blew out the generator in the lair while trying to blow up an iPod to win a viral video contest. Anyway, Doofenshmirtz has joined the good side. Yes, I know I was wrong the last time I said that, but this time I'm positive. He's joined the top spy organization in Drusselstein. Sure, he's using a creepy-sounding alias, but secret agents are always good! So your mission is to give him the gift basket we left you. Good luck.
Major Morogram
Perry double-checked that last line.
Major Morogram
No, Perry wasn't imagining things. His boss had actually managed to misspell his own name. Also, he was pretty certain Monogram was deluded about Doofenshmirtz abandoning evil. But Monogram's mental state wasn't important now. The only thing of importance was the –
The gift basket.
Which was still behind the antique shop.
And where was he, besides in a bathroom?
Perry sighed. This was going to be a long day.