So here's chapter four, with Doofenshmirtz. Although there have been some nods before, this is the first direct tie-in to that wierd first chapter with those OC's. It also features the first tying up of a loose end, although the way things are going, I suspect this fanfic is going to be very long.
Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz was packing his luggage when he heard a knock on the door. He checked the cameras and confirmed his suspicion that the visitor was Perry the Platypus. This was not a surprise to him. What was a surprise was that Perry was visibly exhausted. What was even more surprising was that Perry was holding a fanciful basket.
Doofenshmirtz walked over and opened the door. Perry walked slowly, dropping the basked on the ground before standing, completely unprompted, on a large X that had been painted on the floor.
Doofenshmirtz frowned. "Perry the Platypus, are you too tired to fight today? And what's this basket for? Because it looks exactly like the basket you gave me after I saved the ki-." As he was speaking Doofenshmirtz began opening the basket. "-oh, it is the same basket! Seriously, how does this keep happening?"
From roughly the same place where he kept his hat, Perry pulled a photograph of Major Monogram.
"Oh, I see, blame everything on your boss. You know, I'm not even sure I did anything recently that could be mistaken for good. Oh, well. I guess I should trap you." Doofenshmirtz walked over to a panel of switches, then flipped one, which turned out the lights; he quickly turned them back on. The second switch made a mooing sound. The third dropped a massive cage trap down about three feet to Perry's left.
Doofenshmirtz thought for a second, before turning that third switch again, and the cage lifted back towards the roof. "Perry the Platypus," Doofenshmirtz suggested politely, "could you please move about three feet to your left?" Equally politely, Perry obeyed, and Doofenshmirtz lowered the trap again.
"So, about the luggage," Doofenshmirtz said as he launched into his daily exposition. "You see, I'll be vacationing in London for the next few days. I'm going to go see all the tourist attractions and just fly under the radar for a while. It'll be fun. I've set up all kinds of activities for myself. Hiking, cricket, heck, I'll even be LARPing! Pretending to be a secret agent. That's like, under under the radar! You know, false name, hiding in the shadows, stuff like that."
There was an awkward silence that lasted about three seconds. "What?" Doofenshmirtz eventually said. Perry pulled out the photo of Monogram again, then pointed to the gift basket.
"Oh, is that why Monogram sent the gift basket? Well, if that's the case, he's an idiot. I mean, I was using a pseudonym. Werner Bewegen. I mean, it's an obvious pseudonym, right? 'Bewegen sie nicht'. Do any of the other ones use their real names? I doubt it. I remember one was Jack Gillespie. I mean, seriously. Blatant pseudonym. Do you think anyone actually has a name like that?
Perry had stopped paying attention as soon as he'd mentioned the name Jack Gillespie. He'd been believing what Doofenshmirtz was saying before then, but he completely recognized that name. Jack Gillespie was not only a genuine spy, but a declared enemy of the Organization Without a Cool Acronym. Doofenshmirtz, in his gleeful stupidity, had managed to fall in with a ring of secret agents for real.
Doofenshmirtz flipped the switch that lifted the cage. "Anyway, I'm gonna let you go now, cause I'm not really doing anything evil today and I really need to finish packing my luggage for my trip to London. So curse you, Perry the Platypus. Now leave."
Perry left. Doofenshmirtz headed back to his luggage and wondered how, in any way possible, Major Monogram could mistake a silly game for reality.