I own nothing except for Samantha
Not as tough as she lets on
"Miss independent
Miss self sufficient
Miss keep your distance
Miss unafraid
Miss out of my way
Miss don't let a man interfere, no
Miss on her own
Miss almost grown
Miss never let a man help her off her throne
So, by keeping her heart protected
She'd never feel rejected
Little miss apprehensive
she fell in love."
- Miss Independent, Kelly Clarkson
When he got that phone call, the one that would essentially, without him knowing it at the time, signify the beginning of his life, Flack had just gotten one foot in the door of his apartment. Literally. He'd just unlocked the door and stepped inside when his cell went off. He wasn't scheduled to be on call and had managed to get the necessary paperwork completed and sent off, so a call after an eighteen hour shift, particularly one that read UNKNOWN NAME UNKNOWN NUMBER was not a welcome or a pleasant thing. Especially when the person on the other end didn't answer the first two ties he said his name.
"Flack." he repeated forcefully, a little more than annoyed
"Uh...hi.." came that soft voice.
The second he heard it, his chest tightened and a weird fluttering sensation he'd never felt before cropped up in his stomach. He mentally gave himself shit for acting like such a love struck fool over a woman he'd just met and knew very little about. And it was a damn struggle to keep the happiness that she actually called him out of his voice.
"You... you know who this is right?" she asked.
"Yeah. Adam's sister." You fucking ass, Flack, he thought. Smooth. Very smooth. He closed his eyes and turned and banged his forehead off the door a couple times. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
"I do have a name." she reminded him. Was she offended? Hurt? He couldn't tell.
"Sorry," he said. "Its just been a long day and my brain isn't functioning at a hundred percent."
"Is this a bad time?" she asked. "If it is, I can just wait until tomorrow and..."
"No." he interrupted her quickly. "Not a bad time. Not for you." Oh my fucking God! Did I just actually say that? he thought.
"Oh... okay... you said to call you if I needed anything, no matter how big or small it was, and well, I'm calling and I'm not exactly sure how big or how small this is..."
She rambled when she got flustered, Flack noticed. Just like Adam.
"..and I usually don't ask anyone for anything so this is a huge deal for me..."
"Miss indepenent... I noticed that." he said.
"I've had to be. But everyone needs something from someone sometime and you shouldn't be afraid to ask, right? But in no way does this make me in any way shape or form weak or less self sufficient. Okay?"
"Okay." he agreed, grinning.
"Because I hate people, especially men, thinking I can take care of myself.'
"So you're more than capable of handling yourself and no one can push you around. I get it. What do you need? 'Cause you've got me totally confused here. What were we originally talking about?"
"Sorry. I tend to ramble."
"I've noticed that too."
"Look... I know we just met and this may seem a bit weird to you..."
"Samantha, I'm used to wierd. Look what I do for a living."
She laughed lightly. "True. Please don't think I'm some needy, pathetic little thing."
"Never." he vowed.
"You seem like a decent guy and Danny said you always have his back whenever he needs it so I got this feeling that even though we haven't exactly worked together yet and we barely know each other..."
"You're rambling again." Flack pointed out gently.
She sighed. "I need your help."
"So you're actually admitting you need someone." he teased.
"Are you always this obnoxious?' she asked, but he could tell she was smiling.
"Are you always this stubborn?" he countered.
"1239 Vine street, apartment 605, Queens." she said and hung up.
He stood there and stared at the phone in his hand, a huge smirk on his face. Why was he getting the feeling that he was for one hell of a journey?
"Did you get lost?" she asked wryly a half an hour later when she answered the knock at the door.
"I've been up for twenty hours." he replied. "I didn't want to come over here in the same clothes I wore to work and smelling like shit."
"I'm sure you smelled great." she said and then blushed slightly.
Why the hell did he have to come over looking even better than he had earlier that afternoon? She didn't think things could get any better than a suit and tie. She was wrong. The guy filled out his jeans and a simple t-shirt better than anyone she'd ever seen. Holy shit, get a grip, girl, she thought and stepped back and held the door open.
"Thanks for coming," she said, as he stepped into the apartment. She closed the door and re-locked it. "Do you want anything?" she asked. "Coffee? Bottled water? Pop?"
"I'm fine." he said. "Thanks."
She smiled and he followed her through the cramped kitchen and out into the living room. She was walking with a slight limp and in some sot of discomfort every time her left foot touched the ground.
"What happened to you?" he asked.
"The coffee table jumped up and bit me." she replied. "But don't worry. I exacted my revenge on the answering machine." she nodded in the direction of said machine that now lay on the hard wood floor. "It laughed at me and talked back so I taught it a lesson."
She plopped down on the couch.
"You deal with the perps like that too?" Flack asked, deciding to take the safe road and sit across from her on a ratty old love seat.
"I save the violent stuff for them." she replied. "What? Are you afraid I bite?"
"You do that kind of thing, too?" he asked.
"Only if you ask me to." she told him and stared him dead in the eye.
In all the years that he'd been on the job and sat across the table in stare downs with murderers and gang bangers and child molesters, he'd never been the first one to look away. So how was it that this tiny, fragile looking woman who looked barely old enough to be in college, left him feeling so vulnerable. And uncomfortable. He had to look away. Because if he didn't, he was liable to do something that would either be welcomed or earn him a punch in the face.
"Never thought I'd ever be in Adam's apartment." he said, looking around.
"Just be thankful you didn't come here two days ago." she told him. "You needed steel toe boots to walk safely through all the crap on the floor. A gallon of bleach and some pine sol did wonders."
"So you're a housekeeper, too?"
"I'm a bit of a neat freak." she admitted. "My mother even says I'm a little OCD about it."
"If my mother saw this place, she'd been telling me to either hire you as a maid or marry you."
"Well your mother obviously has good taste." Sam said and sipped a bottle of water. Trying her best to look everywhere else but at him.
"So..." he said. "This problem you're having..."
"Yeah...shit.. sorry. I get distracted easily. See where Adam gets it from? Anyway I was hoping you could help me."
"With?"
She leaned forward and picked up a piece of writing paper on the coffee table and held it out to him.
Flack took it and looked at it. "Zach Turner." he read aloud. "License plate number, make of car... for what?"
"He's this guy from Phoenix." she explained. "He was harassing me back there and he's one of the reasons I came to New York. To get away. And now I found out that's he's on his way here to find me."
"What kind of harrassment?" Flack asked.
"Obscene phone calls, threatening letters, sitting outside my house and my work. That kind of thing."
"You keep any of the letters?"
"I threw them out. I know. We're always telling women to keep shit like that. Talk about a case of the pot calling the kettle black."
"What kind of threats did he make?"
"The basic ones. You know. I'm going to hunt you down and beat the shit out of you. And worse."
"Is he dangerous?"
"He collects knives and guns. Not to mention he's a cop. So you tell me."
"How'd you find out he was coming here?" Flack asked.
"He told my step dad who in turn, called me."
Flack nodded. "And what is it you want me to do exactly?" he asked.
"Well, you are a detective, right? You can find out where he is. Stop him from coming here. Detect. Is that not what you do?"
"I'm homicide." he reminded her.
"Okay. So what you really mean is that I have to wait until he kills me first. Do you not have friends? Know someone that deals with these types of things?"
"Short of putting out an ABP on this guy and his plate number and make of car, there's not a whole lot that can be done here." he told her reluctantly.
"I'm not asking for a miracle here. Whatever you can do is fine, Don."
He stared at her. Very few people called him by his first name. His parents, mostly. And on the rare occasion Mac or Stella or even Danny. And hearing his name come out of her mouth, someone he barely knew, felt strange. Yet so right at the same time.
"What?" she asked. "Did I stutter? Speak in tongues?"
"You called me Don." he told her.
"Is that not your name? Or do you prefer Donald?"
"Everyone calls me Flack." he said
"Well I'm not like everyone." she informed him. "I'm not the last name type girl. Too personal."
"I wasn't aware we were getting personal." he said with a soft smile. "What type of girl are you?" he asked curiously.
She smiled as well, the bottle of water to her lips. "The type of girl you'll either never forget or wish you never met."
"I'll go with the first option." he decided. "I love a challenge. I'm that type of guy."
"You may live to regret it." she told him. "What other type of guy are you?"
"The type that breaks girls like you." he replied confidently.
"We'll see about that." she said. "Are you sure you don't want anything?I've got it all. Coffee, tea, bottle water, pop... pick your poison. Or are you in a rush?"
"I live a relatively boring existence. There's no where else I want to be." he bit his lip when he realized what he said. "Need to be." he corrected himself. "And water is fine. Thank you."
"Do I make you nervous?" she asked, getting to her feet.
"What?" he tried to laugh it off. "No. Why would you make me nervous?"
She shrugged. "You tell me."
"Nervous? No. A little uncomfortable? Maybe. You're just a little.. what's the best word? Forward. I've never met a woman like you."
"Well, if you're uncomfortable now, I guess its a damn good thing I didn't answer the dor in my bra and underwear, huh?" she laughed.
He just chuckled and shook his head. "You're something else." he informed her.
"You have no idea." she said and headed for the kitchen.
She had just gotten the water from the fridge, lost in her own little world. She hadn't heard him come into the room. And when she turned, she ended up face first in his chest. She jumped, startled.
"For fuck sakes, Don!" she scolded him. "Don't sneak up on people like that!"
"I didn't. I asked you if you were okay with your foot. You didn't hear me?"
"No. I didn't. I was thinking."
"I wouldn't worry about that guy. I'll find him before he finds you.'
She smiled. It wasn't what she had been thinking about, but she wasn't about to tell him that. "Thank you," she said. "I knew I could trust you."
"I'm that type of guy, too." he said.
"What type?"
"That you can trust."
"You think I have trust issues?"
"I don't know." he said. "Do you?"
"If I didn't trust you, would I be standing here, this close to you right now? No. I would have kneed you in the balls and told you to get the fuck out of my apartment."
They were nearly pressed up against each other. Would have been completely if it wasn't for the hand she'd laid on his chest to prevent her from suffocating in his chest. He smelled so good. And his body was so warm and his muscles felt strong under her hand. And it had been a long time since she'd felt a warm body and breathed in someones scent and felt so secure and protected. Yet at the same time, while this felt so right and she couldn't deny how she felt about him, the thought about feeling that way about someone so quickly terrified her.
"What are you doing?" he asked, looking into those golden eyes.
"I have no idea." she admitted. "But its scary."
"What are you scared of?" he asked, pushing a piece of stray hair behind her ear, his hand resting softly on her face.
"I don't know. I just feel scared. I..." she took a deep breath. "I just don't want to get hurt."
"Physically or emotionally?" he asked.
"Both." she replied.
"I'm not going to hurt you." Flack assured her and leaned in closer to her. She was so petite, so short compared to his height, that it was quite the distance to bend.
"I can't do this." she whispered, their lips mere centimeters apart.
"Yes. You can." he assured her and kissed her softly.
There was a moment of resistance.Then she gave him what he wanted. What they both wanted. Her hand gripping the front of his shirt and one his hands on the side of her face and the other on the back of her neck. He deepened the kiss, his tongue finding hers, and suddenly he felt her completely stiffen up and she forced her way out of the kiss.
"I'm sorry." she said, voice barely a whisper. "I can't do this. I just can't."
"Samantha, I'm not going to hurt you." he promised.
"I'm sorry." she repeated and stepped back from him. "I'm sure you're a decent, stand up kind of guy that doesn't intentionally hurt women. And its not that I didn't want you to kiss me and that I'm not attracted to you. Because I am. That is't the issue here."
"So what is?" he asked gently.
"I barely know you, Don. We barely know each other. We just met like three hours ago. It can't be normal feeling like this so quickly. It can't be. Maybe I'm just still trying to deal with some issues back home and maybe you're lonely and we're just feeling these things because we both need somebody. But it can't be real. Feeling like this. Can it?"
"I don't know." he admitted. "Because I've never felt this way this quickly. I don't even know if I've ever felt this way period. All I know is that I wanted to kiss you. I needed to kiss you. And I'm feeling things that are pretty damn scary right now. But at the same time it feels right. I can't explain it. Its crazy. I mean, I like you. A lot. You're this amazingly attractive, intelligent woman. What's not to like? And I'd like to get to know you better and spend time together and all that other stuff that comes with it. Say something here. At least tell me you're feeling this way too."
"It's not that I don't like you." she began.
"Okay... that does not sound too good, Samantha."
"Please...just hear me out. Its not that I don't like you. I do. And I'm very attracted to you and I do want to get to know you better and spend time with you and all that, but this... what happened between us... I'm not ready for something like that. I liked it, don't get me wrong. I really like it. Its just that... I need some time to sort some things out before something like that can ever happen between you and I again. Things I need to let go off and deal with. I've got some serious baggage, Don."
"Don't we all?"
"No. I mean enough baggage to do me, you and half the city of New York. And I need to deal with all of that before I can let you, or myself, get in too deep. Because this stuff I have on my plate? Its not fair that you have to deal with it too. To be involved with someone that has all this shit going on."
"No offense, Sam, but I'm a big boy and I think its up to me to make that decision."
She sighed and put a hand to her forehead. "I'm not saying all of this to hurt you. I'm not. But I have to get rid of all of this crap before I can with you. Be with anyone for that matter."
"This baggage that you're talking about... Samantha, look at me..." he laid his hand alonside her face once more.
She took the hand away from her face and looked into those beautiful, honest blue eyes.
"Whatever that baggage is? I'm a big strong guy. I can help you carry it."
Tears welled in her eyes. "That is honestly the nicest, sweetest thing any one has ever said to me." she told him.
"You don't have to deal with it alone when you have someone willing to help you out."
"Its not fair to ask you to..."
"You're not asking," he cut her off. "I'm offering. There's a difference. I'd hate for Miss independent to have to swallow her pride and admit she's not as tough as she lets on."
She smiled and laid her hand over his. "Thank you... most guys would be out the door by now if they didn't get what they wanted."
"Well, I didn't come here wanting or expecting anything." he said. "And I'm not most guys."
"No." she admitted. "You're not. Thank God."
He smiled and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Every thing will be okay." he assured her. "It'll all work out."
"I know. Do you think you could do something for me?"
"Another favor? You're pushin' it." he teased.
"Could you kiss me again?" she asked sheepishly. "Just a little one? Nothing major?"
"I can do that." he replied and placed a feathery kiss on her lips.
Behind them, the sound of keys in the lock captured their attention, breaking the small moment of tenderness, and when they turned around, there was Adam in the doorway to the kitchen. His eyes were wide and disbelieving.
"What the hell?" he spoke every word slowly.
"Uh... hi... Adam.." Sam said, surprised her was home early and a little embarrassed he'd seen what he had seen. "You're home early... why are you home so early?"
"Mac let me go because I'm pulling in too much over time." he explained. "Flack..."
"Adam..." the detective said in return.
"What are you doing here?" Adam asked warily.
"I needed some help with something and I called Don and he came over." Sam told her brother.
"So you two are on first names all ready." Adam looked between the two of them.
"Well, it is his name." Sam reasoned.
"I know that." Adam snapped. "Is there a reason why you two are in the kitchen looking like I caught you guys making out or something?"
"I better go." Flack said. "Let you two fight this one out."
"Thanks." Sam said sarcastically.
He smiled at her and laid a hand on the small of her back. "We'll talk more tomorrow." he told her. "I'll get someone on that info right away. Okay?"
She nodded. "Thank you, again. For everything."
He winked at her. "See ya tomorrow morning." he said and rubbed her back and then brushed past Adam as he left the kitchen. "Careful lab boy," he said from the door. "She's liable to kick your ass."
"You're funny." Adam called back. Waited until he heard the door close to turn back to his sister. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he nearly screamed at her.
She jumped. Startled by the aggressiveness in her brother's normally passive voice and face. "What? I needed some help with something and I needed someone who could handle it and he was nice enough to come over and help me and we were just.."
"I saw what you were just getting ready to do!" Adam exclaimed. "Gettin' ready to make out with him! With Flack! Flack of all people! You just met the guy! You don't believe in wastin' time, do ya?"
"Get a grip, Adam! I wasn't making out with anyone! It was a moment that happened between us and he kissed me and I kissed him back. That's it!" she turned her back on him and stalked out of the kitchen.
"But Flack!" Adam wailed. "I'd rather a stranger off the street! But who do you manage to pick? Flack!"
"And what is wrong with him?" she demanded to know. "What do you have against him?"
"I work with him! You work with him! I can't work with someone that's banging my sister! Especially someone like him!"
"First off!" Sam spun around and slapped her brother upside the head. "I am your sister and you're not going to talk to me like that! I kicked your ass as a kid and I'll kick your ass now if I have to! I have always treated you with respect and I damn well expect some back! Second of all!" she backed him up against the back of the couch. "Do I need to remind you that that man put his ass on the line to get your ass out of that warehouse? I don't know what you think you know about him, but apparently its not a whole hell of a lot! He's a nice, decent guy that is nothing like that prick Zack! Nothing! And third..." she jabbed him in the chest with her fingers. "I am not banging him. And if I was, that would be my business and not yours! Got it?!"
Adam swallowed noisily. "Got it." he managed.
"You've got your own personal issues, peanut." she softened her voice and backed off. "Start dealing with them before you get into mine."
"I'm just worried about you." Adam said.
"I know. But for the first time in my life, I honestly feel like everything is going to be fine. That things are looking up. And I want you to be happy for me and support me. Can you do that?"
He nodded.
She smiled, kissed his cheek and ruffled his hair and headed for her bedroom. "I'll be out in a while," she said. "I need to deal with some things."
The door clicked softly closed.
Adam prayed to God she knew what she was doing. And getting herself into.
Thanks to all my fans. You guys know who you are. Next up: first crime scene!