Chapter 133
Cruz sat in his Ford Expedition just watching the house. He hadn't been here long. He wasn't even in the driveway, but a few houses down. It was the middle of the workday: no cars obstructed his view. He had always thought that this house should have been made of glass, because he and Bobbie had been under suspicion from the very beginning. Not even a year later, he found himself afraid to leave the safety of his vehicle. It took a lot to get Bobbie upset, but he had yet to face her in the early stages of pregnancy. He somehow suspected that, in spite of her overall calm, her hormones would go haywire just like he had been reading about. One wrong statement and she would either collapse in a fit of tears or come at him with a butcher knife.
It wasn't pregnancy hormones that kept him sitting here. It wasn't even that the house seemed so completely shut off from him as of now. He didn't belong here. Bobbie had made that perfect clear. Where she lacked in anger, she more than made up for in her decisions. She never went back on her word, never changed her mind. The fact that she hadn't wanted to go public, probably never would have if they hadn't gotten caught, was merely one example of how inflexible she was. That was why when she had told him she was more than capable of handling their baby on her own, he hadn't taken it as random conversation: she was letting him know where he stood. She loved him, sure, but that didn't mean she was going to let herself rely on him. At this point, his value most likely ranged from sperm donor to that guy she had that thing with once.
Often, he had pictured the life they would have together, both before and after the news of her pregnancy. Never in all of his fruitless daydreams had they been living in separate worlds. Maybe he hadn't considered marriage before this baby, but that didn't mean that he had planned on taking their relationship to the next level. God had stepped in and helped him. He would have to remember to thank him the next time he was at church. His mother wanted to meet Bobbie, wanted to measure her up was what she really meant, but Cruz kept making excuses to keep the two women separate. She could meet Bobbie after their child was born. He didn't want her to have to deal with that kind of stress.
If you're that worried about her stress level, why not put this off? A rational voice called from the back of his mind. He had done a little research during the course of his trip and picked up some valuable information about his rights as the baby's father. If Bobbie really meant to suspend his parental rights, he would fight her tooth and nail. This baby was slowly becoming the only thing that tied them together. He didn't want to take her to court but, if she left him no other option, he would go through with it because this was his son or daughter for Christ's sake. He wasn't going to turn his back on his own flesh and blood, wouldn't become the father he had never met.
His hand on the door handle, he thrust it down and kicked open the door, startling Bobbie from her spot on the porch. He wasn't sure how long she had been standing there, or what she must be thinking but, if he was going to get through this, he would have to pretend not to care. Was this what she had been waiting for him to do? He wasn't close enough to see her face, so he had no way of determining if she was happy to see him or not. He stood cautiously near the driver's side door and watched her descend the steps with purposeful grace. How could he do this to her?
Remembering his reason for stopping by before heading home, he reached through the car door, the glass having been previously rolled down, and let his fingers wrap tightly around them. It took a little extra effort to get the papers out of the truck, his teeth biting the inside of his cheek, but finally he held them at his side. Bobbie gave them a quick glance, but then her eyes were on his and he couldn't breathe. She knew the power she held over him and if he wasn't careful, she would use that influence to convince him to sign away all legal rights to the child he had helped create.
Her knees were trembling, damn him. She had convinced herself he had lost all power over her, she didn't need him. One indirect look at him and she knew it was all a lie. Bobbie prayed he wouldn't notice her trembling but realized he probably would. Above all else, Cruz was a reporter, a good one, and he noticed the details.
It hadn't been the plan to see him today. Ever since she had destroyed the answering machine, Bobbie had thrown herself into preparing for the baby's arrival. Dr. Lansing was already talking about possible bed rest if she reached 28 weeks without complication. But so far everything had looked good. Better than good actually, perfect. Dr. Lansing had said everything looked perfect. Her life maybe currently be in shreds, but at least her child was perfect.
Unconsciously she rubbed her growing stomach. It was probably the doctor's appointment that led her to agree to this meeting. When the phone rang, she had been on such a high, Bobbie hadn't even glanced at the caller ID. When Cruz's voice tentatively said hello, she had nearly dropped the phone. Something possessed her to say yes. She was blaming the hormones.
The papers in his hand made her nervous. As did the time it took him to cross the small yard to be near to her. As he came close enough for her to speak, she cleared her throat. "Hello Cruz." she managed, proud of herself for keeping the tremble out of her voice.
"Bobbie." He answered blandly, almost diplomatically. "How are you feeling?" With that one question, he was already doubting his decision to go through with this.
"Fine." The distance in his voice echoed even louder than it had on that damn message. Why wasn't he meeting her eyes? When had they become such strangers? "How are you? Has the media frenzy settled down?"
"Never, but business has never been better, and at least we're still able to control it. Lucky and I have made sure of that." There. They could talk about business all day long. She had never shown that much interest in what he did, save the occasional conversation starter.
"Good. Good." Her eyes shifted to the papers he still clutched in his hands as the conversation completely faltered. This wasn't them. Their ability to discuss everything had led to the creation of this child. How had one phone conversation completely obliterated that? The silence between them grew as the seconds moved closer to minutes. Bobbie bit her lip. Did she tell him this now? Would it help or make matters worse?
"I brought...um...these papers for you to look at. I don't want to be cut out of our child's life." Cruz declared, rather indignantly, his tone still uncertain but the intent behind it, the bitterness, was as clear as day.
She had sworn no man was going to make her cry again. No man would ever see her cry. And here she was, sobbing in her front yard, pregnant and alone. Ironic how her life was coming full circle as she remembered the last time she saw Carly's father. "You're...you're giving up?"
"You already did that. I'm just trying to make the best of things." Cruz countered, anger bubbling just below the surface.
"The best of things?" She cried out incredulously. "You call this making the best of things?" Her hands shook as she gripped the papers, his coldness provoking her anger. "How long did you wait before you ran to a lawyer and planned your escape?"
"My...what?" Cruz's eyes went wide at her accusation. "You were the one who turned me down. I had no problem with the family thing. You were the one who had to throw in that feminist crap. Was I supposed to wait for you to sue for full custody before I made a move, Bobbie?"
"Crap? Not wanting something based on your sense of duty and obligation is crap?" Bobbie almost spat as she spoke. "Forgive me for thinking about what is best for this child."
"Don't bring our child into this! You're the one running, not me! I didn't feel obligated. We were in love. That's what people in love tend to do: they tend to get married and start a family. I'll admit, we did things a little backwards, but at the end of the day I still would have loved you." Cruz shot back, bristling. How dare she accuse him of not wanting her for any other reason than the obvious? He had never thought his loving her would become a questionable thing.
"I'm running? I didn't announce I was leaving this relationship by leaving a damn answering machine message." Bobbie took a deep breath and tried to control her breathing. She could do this. She could handle this. "You're the one who didn't stay."
"You know why I left. Lucky needed my help. It didn't have anything to do with our drama." Cruz defended stubbornly.
"That wasn't what I referring to." She kept her voice even, determined to keep it from cracking with the weight of the sob she felt rising. "You left after the hospital. You were long gone before Lucky needed your help."
"How was I supposed to take the rejection?" Cruz asked, his voice as soft as a whisper. "Do you have any idea how much that hurt?"
"As much as realizing what was driving that proposal wasn't love." Bobbie responded back, her voice just as soft.
"You're talking about the accident." He didn't have to ask: the answer was clear in her eyes. "That's not why I proposed. Wanting to marry you isn't some rash decision I came to in the heat of the moment."
"Really?" Her skepticism rang through loud and clear. "That's why we talked about marriage before then right?" Dramatically she smacked her forehead. "Oh that's right! We didn't!"
"Well, considering how our discussions usually go, you're not inclined to talk about anything outside of work or your family. Every time I try to bring up something important, you always change the subject. You treat me like you would Lucky or Patrick. I don't need your patronizing realities, okay?" Cruz retorted waving his hands in the air. "The only one whoever addresses our age difference is you. The one who didn't want to go public with our relationship was you. When you found out you were pregnant, you gave me exactly one hour to come to terms with it before launching into your speech about how I could be in its life or not. Would you rather I took no interest in my child at all? Would that make it easier for you? You've already proven that we can't work...that you don't want us to. All I'm asking is for a chance to still have contact with the only part of you you're willing to let me love unconditionally." His anger was quickly dissipating. He didn't know how much longer he could keep this up, or if he even wanted to. He didn't want to cause her anymore stress. He could easily justify that worry in terms of his child.
Bobbie couldn't hold back the tears as his words flowed over her. He was right. She had made all their issues. He had been confident everything would be fine with their families and friends and it actually was. She was the one worried about being left. She was so afraid of being hurt again she had actually pushed away the best thing to ever happen to her. Biting her lip, she caught the sadness in his brown eyes. She had to just accept it. Her own fear of being alone had left exactly that. Alone. "I won't contest." She whispered brokenly.
Cruz had never wanted to hold her more than he did in that moment. She looked so broken, so utterly defeated. He couldn't pick her up this time. She would have to do it herself. She would have to want to. Staring at his feet, he took the papers from her and tore them into a million little pieces, leaving them on the lawn. He turned his back to her then, unable to breathe a moment longer, and raced back to his truck.
Staring at his retreating form, she blinked in confusion as the sight of the torn papers filled her eyes. Was he dropping the action? Did he want her to follow him? Caressing her stomach, she lowered herself slowly to the porch. "Your father. " She spoke softly to the baby, "Don't worry little girl. I'll figure something out."
"I have been on a boat before," Mac regarded Alexis with a smug little nod. She had been yapping at him for the past hour, checking and double-checking that they hadn't forgotten to bring anything. He had always considered her such a list-oriented lady, but he had underestimated the way she was able to control every little aspect. Maybe she should leave her job as DA and go into business with Robin and Bobbie. They all seemed to have the same obsessive-compulsive outlook on life.
"Yes, of course I know that. I was there, holding your overgrown hair back while you threw up over the side of it before it even left the docks." Alexis recalled subjectively. He had been going through a phase, one she still referred to as the start to a very unpredictable mid-life crisis.
"It was a phase. I'm a lot smarter now." Mac countered, adjusting the rearview mirror so that he could switch lanes.
"It was a year ago. And will you please pick a lane? We'll get there on time. The party isn't going to start without us. Make up your mind." Alexis suggested curtly. She understood that it wasn't everyday his youngest went away to a foreign country for an entire year, but it wasn't like he would never get to see her again. For one thing, her money would probably run out halfway through and he wouldn't be able to stop himself from begging her to come home. Sometimes you could just count on these sort of things.
"Why does she have to go away again? She's already well-rounded. She could get an apartment over off of Motley." Mac offered up the same plan he had been constructing ever since his baby announced she wanted to move overseas for a whole year. He didn't think it made him a bad guy to not want to send his baby to a foreign land with a lot of hairy-legged perverts who would like nothing better than to--
"Mac, are you listening to me?" Alexis didn't know she had saved his sanity for the millionth time since they had met. "I asked who was coming."
"You have the list, don't you?" Mac answered distractedly. His hands were already starting to shake. He had never thought this day would come. He had prayed against hope that it never would.
"Come on honey. Just tell me who we've got scheduled to show up. I want to recount the table settings." She explained once they had parked in the first spot they found nearest the docks.
"Lucas. Bobbie. Dillon. Robin. Lucky had to call and cancel. Something about Lulu. I stopped listening after he said, 'Oh that's today?' He's lucky he doesn't work for me. I'd ream his ass for not showing up. Who else?" As they worked out the basic setup for the bon voyage party, they noticed several of the aforementioned guests starting to arrive. "We better hurry or we'll never get everything in place. I don't want to be in the way of your cousin, Zara."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Alexis asked, pouting. "She's healthy."
"You know I love you, but I'm a little worried she might sink the boat. Did we go ahead and get that insurance policy?" Mac responded matter-of-factly.
"I got the balloons!" Maxie called, coming up behind the couple. She was out of breath, out of cigarettes, and out of sorts. She had called last night and told them that she probably wouldn't make it due to her plans with newest beau, Victor. Well, he had gone out of town for work and so here she was. She didn't understand what the big deal was. Georgie was always in her own little world. What would actually moving to a different part of the world do?
"What would we do without you?" Alexis greeted the young woman with a quiet nod.
"Probably go back to eating carbs." Maxie answered directly, smiling when she noticed the death glare her father was giving her. "Is there any alcohol on the boat? I could use a drink."
"It's your sister's going away party and I don't want you drinking." Mac pointed out.
"What's one little drink going to do?"
"You mean, what's it going to do to an avid drinker such as yourself?" Alexis clarified, lifting an eyebrow.
"Exactly nothing." Maxie promised.
One hour into the party, Maxie was higher than a kite on various types of alcohol she had found and/or smuggled onto the party boat. It was a pretty big boat: the dimensions had been explained to her before she popped the top off her third beer. People were still giving Georgie presents and good wishes. They were still telling her how much they were going to miss her. She had actually started to cry when she had opened Mac's gift. It had been a picture of him holding her in the hospital as a newborn. The frame had been pretty cheap, but acceptable as far as Cinderella was concerned.
Robin had given her a handful of prepaid minutes she could use to call home any time she wanted. Wasn't it just like her cousin to be so resourceful? So prepared? Maxie wished she had remembered to bring a gift, but she hadn't been able to find one that her sister would deem appropriate. Maybe she would change her mind and find the little insurance policy she had left her packed under her pajamas. A girl couldn't be too careful and Maxie had no doubt that once her sister was no longer under Mac's watchful eye she would be the next Whore of Babylon.
Despite the fact that Georgie had been teaching herself French for the last six months, Bobbie had bought her a book of common phrases. Bobbie had even gone and highlighted the most useful. Maxie bet she could add in a few if she knew French. She hadn't been blind to Bobbie's tear trigger. It had to be the hormones. Word on the street was that the old girl had gone and gotten knocked up by her nephews' best friend. It was the classic soapy storyline though Maxie had stopped watching such dribble. The shows always seemed to portray the worst as the best and the good as the bad. It was frustrating, especially since all the really good guys were hot and all the really bad guys looked to be on steroids.
Maxie had been really surprised to see her mother show up. Figures she would turn up on the day her daughter was leaving one flea-infested society for another, but she hadn't bothered to even call when she, herself, had gone in for heart-related complications not six months ago. She hadn't died of course, but Maxie had no doubt her mother would have said some really incredible things at her memorial. She would have made up a fantasy about how she viewed her eldest daughter's life. She would say something like, "Maxie had such a great capacity to love. I only wish she had been able to find someone to share that love with." Felicia hadn't brought a gift as far as Maxie had seen. Maybe she hadn't needed to. Georgie had lit up at the very sight of their mother.
Dillon had given her a present and kiss on the cheek. Lucas hadn't looked pleased with this particular decision. It was no secret that Dillon and her sister had a long and deep history what with the baby and all. Georgie had cried for weeks after Dillon had split and gone sniffing around Lucas. It was a wonder Mac had let them come at all. What had he brought her? She couldn't remember. Drama, for sure. Whatever else was unimportant.
The best, and probably most memorable entrance, had belonged to Anna. How often did a person land on a boat via helicopter? Maxie had always been a little afraid of her aunt, but she could at least be civil toward her. Robin had grown closer to her and Georgie than she had to her mother and Maxie figured that had something to do with the attitude the older woman commonly expressed toward her. No matter. Maxie was used to people disliking her. As far back as kindergarten, a little girl, Samantha Ford, had announced to the entire class that she was Maxie Jones' ex-best friend and that she hated her. Since then people tended to see the halo above her little sister.
Uncle Robert and their father, Frisco--Maxie remembered his penmanship more than his face--were off on some secret mission and couldn't be reached. Maxie had been surprised Alexis hadn't been able to cross enemy lines and get them out. She seemed like a driven woman. She had to be if she had managed to keep Mac interested this long. That had been Felicia's only alluring quality: her need for adventure. Perhaps that and the thin line she used to separate good and evil.
Robin watched her cousin down another drink. Wasn't she sloshed enough? Why did she have to embarrass her little sister this way, and when the girl looked up to her? Maxie had made stupid choices in her life, but this was a new low for even her. Robin was about this close to dragging her off of this boat by her hair, but the amount of liquor in her system would probably cause her cousin to sink to the bottom of the sea. She returned her attention to Georgie who was giving a very long speech about family and trust and a bunch of other things that sounded oddly like the speech Robin had heard at her graduation a million years ago.
Patrick had slipped into the back, seemingly unnoticed by everyone but her. At first, Robin had expected her uncle to throw him off the boat or start a big argument with him, but he had simply nodded toward him and cut the cake into a dozen pieces for the crowd. He hadn't come to talk to her in the last half hour he had been here, but then she had made no attempt to do so either. Even her talk with Lucky hadn't made her any more brave or up to a discussion about what had happened--or rather not happened--between them on her birthday. Alexis distracted her with another speech, but she found it very difficult to focus. Had he just gotten closer?
"For the last time I am not interested in Georgie." Dillon whispered harshly to Lucas, as they stood in front of Robin. He rolled his eyes and exasperatedly ran his hands through his hair. "I'm married to you Lucas."
"By default." Lucas shot back quietly, not wanting Lance to hear them fighting. It was pretty unlikely considering that he and Morgan were over by the table, swiping frosting off the side of the cake.
"When did you become the dramatic one here?" Dillon wondered. "You knew about my history with Georgie before you ever came out to LA. And you knew she lived here when we decided to move back here. If this was going to bug you so much why did you come?"
"Leave the two of you alone with our son? I don't think so." Lucas answered short-temperedly.
"You know Georgie does not see Lance as her replacement baby." It still hurt to talk of the miscarriage but in the end that child had led him to Lucas. The loss of his and Georgie's child had led him to LA and later to Lucas.
"But do you?" Lucas didn't give his husband a chance to answer, just walked over to where the boys were playing in the cake.
Robin gave him a look of pity and patted his shoulder. "I'm sure he'll come around. How is your mother doing?"
"Terrorizing the help, trying to throw Alan and Monica out of Monica's house, scaring the ELQ board into backing her every move, and paying attention to me and Ned only when it suits her interest. The usual." Dillon nodded towards Anna. "Can I take lessons from your mother on how to make an entrance? That was straight out of Hunt for Red October."
"I think it's one of those 'If I tell you, have to kill you' sort of things." Robin replied with a smirk.
"Lance is looking awfully spiffy in that little blue suit." Robin commented, nodding toward the sweet little blonde.
Dillon beamed with pride. "His idea."
"I need to talk to you." Patrick whispered in Robin's ear, having made no noise in his approaching. Damn him! She was trying to have a pleasant conversation with her friend and here he was, butting in. She wanted to tell him all of it aloud, but his hand on her right shoulder silenced her. He maneuvered her out of the crowd toward the rear end of the boat so that she could still see Morgan from where she was standing but maybe the entire family wouldn't get to hear what they were talking about.
"I don't have time for this right now, Patrick." Robin berated him with a groan. "In case you missed it, this is my cousin's bon voyage party. What are you doing here anyway?"
"Mac invited me." Patrick told her, folding his arms as he awaited the outburst that never came. Instead, she moved her eyes to his right shoulder and kept them on that spot until his hand found her face and she was forced to meet his conflicted gaze. "I called." He said it so arrogantly one would have thought he was put off. By not answering him, she had thrown him into a pool of uncertainty.
"I know." Robin sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose tightly. "I didn't have anything to say."
"Do you have something to say now?" Patrick coaxed her to continue, but she only responded in her tense body language. "Look, I might have overreacted, but you have to take some responsibility too."
"Do I?" Robin shot back, pursing her lips together. "You didn't leave a message."
"I shouldn't have to leave a message. The message is clear." Patrick insisted impatiently, looking to the sky for answers but receiving only a cloudless sky.
"Lucky was right: you do speak in freaking code sometimes." Robin shook her head.
"Lucky? You talked to Lucky about this, but you won't pick up the phone for me?" Patrick accused incredulously.
"I told you I don't have anything to say. Can we just get back to the party? Today is supposed to be about Georgie." Robin reminded him.
"Don't hide behind your cousin, Robin. If you have something you want to say to me, do so." Patrick challenged.
"You don't even think I have a right to be mad at you, do you?" Robin realized, her eyes widening in surprise.
"Why should you be mad at me? I stopped you from doing something you weren't ready for." Patrick countered, breathing out of his nose as his teeth barred together in anguish.
"Oh, that's right. I forgot. You're always having to step in and stop me from doing something I'll regret later on." Robin nodded, sarcasm clear in her tone.
"I didn't say that." Patrick defended, reaching out to grab her by the waist before she could even think about walking away.
"Do not touch me." Robin warned ominously. By that time, a crowd had already started to form around them.
"Oh, now that's a problem for you?" Patrick shot back angrily. "You're trying to convince everyone that you're fine, fine, fine, but I see through it. I know that you're not. I'm not going to go on pretending just to appease you."
"Umm guys? You know I love a dramatic scene and all but can I suggest a better venue? Like not a public one?" Dillon suggested quickly, gesturing to the widening crowd.
"Shut up!" They yelled at him in chorus.
"Fine. See if I stop this from getting posted on You Tube now." Dillon muttered wandering away.
"See what you did!" Robin shouted at Patrick.
"What I did? Oh I forgot. I'm always wrong and you're always right. That's how your world has to be or you would be beside yourself, wouldn't you?"
Robin caught her son's eyes before she could even think of a good comeback. Backing up embarrassed, she ran for the solitude of the lower deck, throwing the lock.