Banana Pancakes
"When I've shown you that I just don't care
when I'm throwing punches in the air
when I'm broken down and I can't stand
will you be strong enough to be my man?"
-Strong Enough, Sheryl Crow
Rain hammered New York City relentlessly. Wind whipped through the streets and rattled windows and threatened to strip the trees bare. Thunder rumbled in the distance as lightning split the dreary, dark grey foreboding sky. A stark contrast from the blazing sun and disgustingly humid, choking heat that had been plaguing the city for the last two weeks. Forecasters were predicting heavy thundershowers and strong winds for the next twelve to twenty four hours. Advising people to stay away from rivers and streams in fears of flash floods. Central Park was all ready a wading pool of wet and muck and many curbs were inches deep. Tempers among drivers and pedestrians alike were extremely short, which, in the city that never sleeps, wasn't an uncommon thing, but the weather related traffic slow downs and closures had people on edge.
None of that mattered to Flack. The only thing that mattered to him at that moment was the warm, inviting body that was sleeping tucked into his side. Nothing existed outside of that room. His thoughts far away from crime scenes and perps and most importantly, from that twisted bastard Zack Turner, who, he'd hoped had had the worst night of his life down in Central lock up. Once the other perps found out he was a cop, they'd torment him endlessly. Something he deserved. He deserved a lot worse. A hell of a lot worse. But Flack didn't want that name or the thoughts of what that man was actually capable of ruining the happiness that had been alluding him for years.
His eyes snapped open and had to adjust to the lingering darkness in room. A dull, depressing grey that had him wondering if they'd actually slept well into the afternoon and into the early evening. He rolled over and fumbled for his watch on the nightstand. His movements caused Samantha to stir momentarily. She mumbled in her sleep and rolled over onto her opposite side, her back towards him and taking all the covers with her. Wrapping herself up in a tight cocoon and leaving him to freeze his ass off in the chill of the air conditioning.
A quick check of his watch told him it was only quarter to eleven. He yawned noisily and reached for the covers. Attempting to steal some back for himself.
"No." she said and only tightened the blankets around her some more.
"Sam... come on... its freezing in here..."
"I know." she said and didn't budge an inch.
"Baby... don't be such a bitch..." he complained and tried to yank some blankets off of her.
"Just for that you can freeze." she declared and rolled over onto her stomach.
"Come on. Be nice." he leaned over her and peeled enough blanket away to reveal a small slice of skin on her left shoulder. He pressed a soft, warm kiss to that spot. "You'd be pissed if I froze to death and I wasn't any good to you anymore." he moved more blanket out of the way and kissed every spot he uncovered. The spot between her shoulder blades was extra sensitive and he heard her sigh into her pillow.
"True." she agreed, voice muffled.
He pushed her hair away from the back of her neck with gentle finger tips. "I gave you a huge hickey right here." he said and licked and sucked at the exact place.
She sighed again.
He moved his lips to the side of her neck and licked and sucked at the spot below her ear before gently biting it.
"Okay! I give!" she exclaimed, flopping over onto her back and loosening the covers. "You can have some blankets!"
He grinned, picked up the blankets and wrapped them around his shoulders and leaned down to kiss her.
She circled his neck with her arms and kissed him back, nearly pulling him down on top of her until he had the right mind to put a hand down on the mattress to spare her his weight. They kissed long and soft at first, then more demanding and possessive when his tongue pushed its way into her warm, moist mouth.
She ran her fingers through the hair at the back of his head, trailed her other hand along his smooth, strong shoulder and down his arm. Loving the way his skin and his muscles felt under her fingers. Sighing and closing her eyes and gripping his forearm when his lips travelled to her neck.
"Why do you do this to me?" she asked quietly. "Make me feel this way?"
"How would you know I loved you if I didn't?" he replied, slipping his free hand over her silky thigh.
"Good answer." she said with a smile.
He ran his hand over her thigh and onto her hip, slipping his hand between her body and the mattress to get to her ass.
"You have such an ass fetish." Sam giggled, feeling his fingers massaging her skin.
"I have a you fetish. Your ass just comes with the package."
"You are just saying all the right things this morning." she said, scraping her fingers along his scalp as his lips travelled up her neck and underneath her chin.
"'Cause they're true." Flack told her, and ran his tongue from under her chin to her lips.
"What about doing all the right things?" she asked, eyes full of desire.
"All you have to do is ask."
She smiled and raised her head and whispered in his ear, then licked her way around the edge of it before settling back against the pillow. "Think you can do that?" she asked. "Can you handle that, Detective Flack?"
"Question is, can you handle it?"
She grinned from ear to ear. "Get to work."
Their love making had been slow and intense. Taking their time. Enjoying each other in every sense of the word. Pleasuring each other with hands and mouths before he sank into her warm, welcoming body and looked deep into her eyes and revelled in the sound of his name escaping her lips.
Afterwards they both dozed. The rain drumming on the windows lulling them back to sleep. It was Samantha that woke him up, running her hand up and down his chest and kissing his collarbone.
He cracked an eye open to look at her. So beautiful with her hair all messed up and no make up. He reached out and laid a hand on the back of her head.
"Good morning." she chirped cheerfully. "Again."
He smiled. "I think it's more like afternoon." he said. "How are you so cheerful when you first get up?"
"I have a reason to be cheerful." she said and kissed the corner of his mouth. "You know, you're cute when you're asleep." she told him. "Not that you're not cute all the time or anything because personally I think you're pretty hot. But you look like a little boy when you're asleep."
"You were watching me sleep?"
"What's wrong with that?" she asked.
"Nothing's wrong with it. I'm just...surprised... no one's ever done that before. Watched me sleep."
"Not that they've told you."
"I haven't had a lot of sleep overs with women. I usually do my business and leave or they leave."
"Has there been a lot of women?"
"I wouldn't say a lot. In my life? Fifteen at the most."
"You're practically a virgin! In this city that's a week for most guys."
He was combing his fingers through her silky hair, watching her face. She looked years younger than thirty, especially with those freckles across her nose. So sweet and innocent yet so stunningly sexy and alluring all at the same time.
"What are you thinking about?" she asked, resting her chin on his collarbone.
"You been with a lot of guys?" he asked curiously.
"Besides you, only Zack." she answered honestly.
"Really?" he was more than a little surprised. "I just thought because you were so willing and into everything that I was doing and that you knew a lot yourself that you were more experienced than that. And I mean that with the utmost respect."
"I think its just because I trust you and I feel comfortable with you that I'm like that." she said, nuzzling the spot below his ear with her nose and then her lips.
"You have no idea how that makes me feel to hear you say that."
She smiled. "Good I hope."
"Very good." he assured her, kissing the top of her head.
She kissed his lips and then his cheek and nestled her face in the side of his neck, her hand resting lightly on his stomach. He stroked her hair with one hand, the finger tips of the other trailing softly down her arm and back up again, over and over.
"Its raining like hell outside." he eventually said.
"I know. The thunder woke me up. Nice soggy crime scenes tonight."
"What's the chances they'll all be indoors?" Flack wondered.
She laughed. "Slim to none. Its a Friday. All the crazies will be out in full force tonight. I will have to remember to wear my hip waders."
"Keeps raining like that, you'll need them. Did anyone tell you about the ark?"
"As in Noah?"
"Not the bible Noah. As in the dead guy we had once with an ark in his back yard."
"Get outta here."
"Would I make something like that up?"
"He had an ark, in his back yard?"
"Hand to God. Dead guy in the middle of his living room, shot in the chest, lying in all this money."
"Real money?"
"Turns out it was fake. But let me get to the good part. He looked like the real deal. Long scruffy beard and hair, all these religious quotes scribbled on the wall. We go in the backyard and no word of a lie, there is a life size ark right there in Far Rockaway. All kinds of animals inside and even some passengers."
"Yeah right." she laughed.
"Sam, I could not make this up. Old Noah was charging a hundred grand a couple to get on the ark for when the great flood came. A hundred grand for salvation. Nuts, I know. So anyway, he was a true firm believer but we find out in the end he was a con artist and it was his partner that killed him when she found out that the cash was fake and it was just a big old mess."
"Where'd the money come from?"
"This is the ironic part of the whole thing. One of the passengers bought a car at a police auction and they found the money stashed in the interior walls. We traced it back to the guy who made the phony bills. The passenger took finding the money as a sign, gave it to Noah. End of story."
"This city really is fucked up. And what was this with Danny meeting some girl last night?"
"I forgot about that. Danny met some girl who says she's your cousin. A nurse or something."
"Only cousin I have in the city is Erica and the last time I checked she was married."
"Hey, I only know what he said. And then his night went from good to really shitty when he got home and Monroe was bawling on his door step. He felt so bad for her 'nobody likes me' bullshit that she ended up staying the night."
"Separate beds I hope."
"That's what he said. He shoulda booted her ass out."
"Should have. But Danny just can't say no."
"He needs to grow a set if you ask me."
"True." Sam said and yawned.
They lapsed into comfortable silence. She with her head tucked into him and her fingers tracing lightly over the expanse of his scar and he smoothing down her hair. His hand drifted down and his fingertips trailed along her spine all the way to the small of her back.
She shivered. "Damn you." she cursed. "Every time you touch me..."
"That's a good thing." Flack said with a smile.
"Very good thing." she agreed.
His hand moved onto her arm and up to her shoulder and back down again before his fingers grazed the side of her breast.
"You're beautiful." he said into her hair.
She kissed his neck. "Baby?"
'"Yeah?"
"I'm starving."
"What do you want?" he asked.
"How good of a cook are you?"
"I can hold my own."
"Surprise me." she said and kissed him and sat up, holding the sheet over her chest.
"Suddenly your shy?" he teased and kissed along her collarbone.
"My body is far from perfect." she sighed.
"I love every inch of your body." he told her.
"I have a big ass and big boobs."
"Your boobs are perfect. And your ass... I can't say enough about your ass."
She smiled and let the cover drop as she held his face in her hands and kissed him. "Thank you." she said.
"For what?"
"Just thank you."
He smiled and got out of bed and into a pair of boxers and a t-shirt.
"By the way." she said. "Your back and your shoulders look like Freddy Kreuger attacked you."
"Never mind that. You should see the bite marks on my neck and the inside of my left thigh."
"All in a nights work." she said. "How do you think I feel? My ass is killing me from being slammed into a wall repeatedly."
He leaned over the bed and kissed her languidly. "You liked it." he informed her.
She smiled and he ran a hand over her face and left the room.
Samantha sighed and tossed herself back onto the rumpled sheets. She couldn't keep the smile off her face or her mind off of the last twelve hours. Not just the amazing, mind blowing sex or the more slow, intense times, but the way it felt when he held her, the way his body felt under her hands and her mouth. And the look in his eyes each and every time he told her he loved her. How she believed it with every ounce of her body.
I love him. So much it hurts. That it's scary. Yet I can't help myself or walk away. I don't want to walk away. I want to stay like this forever.
And that's the kind of thought that frightened her. To feel that way so quickly and powerfully. To have someone love her like that. Was it really possible to feel that way about someone?
Stop second guessing it and just go with it, she scolded herself. Go with what feels right.
He felt right. Along with everything that came with him.
"That smells good." she announced and wrapped her arms around him from behind, placing her head on his back.
"Banana pancakes." Flack informed her.
"Mmmm. I love pancakes. I've never had banana ones."
"My specialty." he told her.
"How many women have you made banana pancakes for Detective?" she asked, slipping her hands up the front of his shirt and rubbing his stomach.
"Two." he replied. "You..."
"And..."
"My mother."
She smiled and squeezed what she referred as his love handles. "Very,very good answer." she said.
"Its the truth. I would not lie to you."
"That's the first time you've mentioned your mother." she said and leaned against the counter beside him.
He eyed her from head to toe. Admiring her in his shirt and her hair pulled up into a high ponytail. "You are so fucking sexy." he said. "I could get used to this. You walking around in my clothes, me cooking you breakfast, sharing a bed with you every night."
"You wouldn't last twenty four hours with me." she said light heartedly. Hearing him talk like that made everything feel so overwhelming. She helped herself to a glass of orange juice on the counter. "You're changing the subject." she chastised
"I am?"
"You're good at that. I've noticed. If you don't want to talk about something you just slide into something else. It's a way of protecting yourself."
"Where'd you learn that? One of your CSI training manuals?" he teased.
"No... it's a coping mechanism. And I know it because I've become a pro at it. Or so many shrinks have told me."
"So your mom re-married when you were sixteen." Flack said. "Where's your real dad?"
"Oh no." she grinned over the rim of her glass. "I am not falling for that. I asked first. How about this? We play who had the more fucked up childhood for, let's see, a Benjamin."
"Hundred bucks?"
She nodded.
"Okay. My old man is a legend in the NYPD. Highest arrest record in history. Youngest ever to become Lieutenant. Single handily saved seven civilians during an armed heist of the federal reserve. I'd go on, but we'd be here all day."
"Okay... so he was a great cop. So? That isn't the be all and end all."
"He was a shitty human being. He used to drink constantly and drop all the bill money on bookies and beat the shit out of my mother until she was on the floor crawling like a wounded animal. He used to kick the shit out of me and my brother 'til I got over six feet and knocked the crap out of him."
"Did you two make up before he died?"
"Died? He's not dead."
She frowned. "When you spoke in past tense I just assumed..."
"My old man is very much alive. But to me, in all intents and purposes, he's very much dead."
"And your mom?"
"Still making the same lame ass excuses for him as she always did."
"I'm sorry... I didn't meant to upset you." she rubbed his back softly.
"I'm not upset at you. You had a right to ask. I'm just still pissed and bitter at him." Flack leaned against the counter beside her and sipped coffee while breakfast cooked. "You're turn."
She sighed. "My father used to beat me and Adam until he put us in the hospital. One time he beat me so bad he fractured m skull, my orbital bone and punctured my ear drum and doctors thought I wouldn't hear ever again out of that ear. Another time, he took a belt to us until we bled. He'd lock us in the root cellar or in a closet he'd done up with a dead bolt and leave us there for hours on end. He used to spend all the money for rent and groceries on drugs and booze. We lived in tenement housing that had more rats and cockroaches then people."
"Samantha..." Flack didn't know if he wanted to hear anything else.
"And on really good days," she continued. "He'd make us eat mouldy bread and spoiled me and we'd need to have our stomachs pumped. All that and not once did anyone call the police or child protective services. And when he died, it was the happiest day of my life." she finished the orange juice to rid her mouth of the horrible wretched taste the memories brought on. "And that's about it... wait, there was a time he stuck Adam's right leg in a tub of boiling water when he was two because my dad said he needed to be taught a lesson for spilling milk on the floor. Word of advice, never ask Adam why he doesn't wear shorts in the summer."
Hot tears spilled down her face. "And that is why I am the majorly fucked up person I am today." she said.
Flack had been staring at her the entire time as she spoke. In both shock and horror, wondering how in the hell she and Adam had ever survived. And the sight of those tears pouring down her face broke his heart. There were no words. None even came to mind. So he did the next best thing. Took her in his arms and held her as tight as he could, his hand clutching her head to his chest, the other hand on her back.
"It's okay." he said when she sobbed loudly into him, her arms around her waist. "It's okay..."
"We were just little kids!" she cried. "Adam was just a baby. I tried as hard as I could to protect him! We didn't deserve that!"
"No... you didn't..."
"Do you see why I am the way I am, Don? Do you?"
"Shhh... it's all right... everything is going to be all right."
She suddenly stiffened up and pushed him away. "I'm sorry." she said, wiping frantically at her eyes.
"For what?" he asked, confused.
"This is embarrassing. Getting like this."
"Why? Why are you embarrassed?"
"I don't do this." she said. "Break down like this. Not with anyone."
"I'm not just anyone." he said gently.
"Maybe I should go." she suggested. "Stop burdening you with all of this stuff."
"Samantha..." he caught her arm as she went to leave the room and pulled her towards him. "Listen to me." he held both her arms tight to her side and looked her dead in the eye. "I love you. You're not burdening me with anything. And I want you to trust me enough to talk about these things. There's no reason to be embarrassed or ashamed. And I don't want you to go anywhere."
"I just..." she took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I can't talk about this anymore. Ever again. I need you to understand that. Please understand."
"I understand." he assured her. "I promise you that I'll never ask you about it again. Okay?" he kissed her softly. He let go of her arms and took her face in his hands and wiped her tears with his thumbs.
"I do love you." she said.
"I'm not doubting it. Are you?"
"No. For once, no."
He kissed her softy. "I think you should sit down and eat something." he said.
She nodded. "I think you owe me a hundred bucks." she said.
"I think I seriously need a new addiction." Sam grumbled as she feverishly erased the numbers in her Sudoko game book for what seemed like the tenth time in as many minutes.
She had started out using a pen until Flack had gently suggestesd to try a pencil when he saw how many mistakes she made and how frustrated she got.
It was a little after two in the afternoon. Ten hours until the beginning of their respective shifts. The rain continued to fall heavily and the wind howled. The radio was on and they sat on the couch, Flack with his legs out in front of him and his feet on the coffee table, going through the renters section in that day's Times. Doing her and Carmen's dirty work of finding a decent apartment. Sam sat sideways across the couch, legs stretched out, leaning back against him, her knees bent.
"I seriously think you need to stick to the beginner's puzzles." Flack said.
"This is the beginners." she admitted reluctantly. "Don't laugh!" she admonished and elbowed him when she felt him chuckle silently.
"I'm sorry. How does a woman with a masters and a b.a not know how to figure those things out?"
"I was never good with numbers." she said.
"You just preferred to shoot innocent little animals in your step dad's yard."
"Shut up! I never shot any animals!"
"Adam told me something about a grey squirrel that he felt so bad about he buried it and held a funeral for it in the front flower bed. "
"It wasn't on purpose!" she argued. "The damn thing got in the way of the bullet.'
Flack laughed. "Are you trying to tell me that a one pound squirrel just jumped out in front of a thirty three and you accidentally shot it?"
"Its what happened!" she insisted.
"Sure it was. You were probably the kid that tortured kittens and put puppies in microwaves."
"I was not!" she laughed and elbowed him again.
"Its always the tiny and shy ones that are psycho-pathic squirrel killers." he said.
"Shut up!" she laughed and he put his arm around her, laying across her collarbone and kissed the top of her head. She moved closer back towards him.
"I still love you even if you are a serial squirrel killer." he teased. "And can you tell me why I'm looking for your apartment?"
"I've been out of the city for a long time and you know what neighborhoods are decent." she reasoned.
He peered over her shoulder at the puzzle. "It'll work if you put the three there and the nine there and the seven there." he said, pointing each spot out.
"And how would you know, Donald?"
"Humor me."
She sighed and did as he suggested. It worked.
"Now, I don't want to gloat..."
"Then don't." she said.
He chuckled and tightened his arm around her and kissed the top of her head. "Higher the education, less common sense." he declared.
"Do you ever want to have sex with me again?" she asked.
"Like you'd ever cut me off. You'd suffer more than I would."
She snorted. "Yeah. Right." she tossed the book and pencil onto the coffee table and reached for her mug of tea. "Anything good?" she asked, sipping the warm beverage.
"Twp bedrooms, two baths, hardwood, three appliances, twelve a month." he read.
"Where?"
"Brooklyn."
"Are you nuts? I am not moving back to Brooklyn." she declared.
"How about... two bedrooms, wall to wall carpeting, one and a half baths, three appliances, thirteen twenty five in Staten Island."
"That's worse than Brooklyn!" she exclaimed. "Anything in lower Manhattan?"
"Not if you two want to stay below two grand a month. Cheapest is a one bedroom at fifteen and change."
"Carmen and I can always sleep together." Sam reasoned.
"If that's the case," Flack said. "I want pictures."
"You wish."
"Here's on in lower Manhattan." he said. "Two bedrooms, one and a half baths, hardwood, cove ceilings, blah blah,blah... twenty two and a bit a month."
"Circle that!" she exclaimed excitedly. "I'll just get you to pay my share of the rent and I'll save my money for purses and shoes."
"In that case, you may as well live here for free."
"Don... you're going to that serious, scary place again." she told him.
"You're right. Too early to be talking like that. You know, you could just be a room mate."
"A room mate with benefits? I don't think so."
"All I'm saying is that if you need a place..."
"I know. And you know that I appreciate it and if we were three or four months into this relationship..."
"I know. I'm just saying."
"I know what you're saying and I love you for it." she tipped her head back to look at him.
He looked down at her and smiled and kissed her softly. He sighed heavily and tossed the paper and pen on the coffee table. "I did the hard work. Up to you two to do the rest. It's a scary thing. You and Devine moving in together." he closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the couch.
"She's amazing." Sam said. "Funny, massively intelligent, beautiful. You think there's something going on with her and Speed?"
"They just met." Flack reminded her.
"Excuse me? What do you call me and you?"
"True... I feel sorry for him if there is."
"Why?" she asked.
"He's got his work cut out for him." Flack replied.
"Boy, that sounds familiar." she laughed.
"You can be a bitch." he agreed.
"You love it." she declared.
He smiled. "I do." he admitted.
"Face it, Don Flack. If I was gone, you'd miss me."
"You have no idea." he said.
Aphina: I agree. Danny needs to grow a set and fast!
Madison Bellows: welcome back! There's more sappy, undying love to come!
laplangurl: hope you found that ice cold shower!
Mauveine: glad you enjoyed and there's much more to come!
Bluehaven4220: Carmen and Don have a deep bond and it will become more so. In a brother/sister way.
jayfray: hope the shower helped! LOL!