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A/N: Believe it or not, this chapter was started the day it's being uploaded.
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Chapter 15: Friendship

Once Hikaryo left us in our room, I went to the bed and laid down. Gon jumped on top of me and started kissing me. We kissed for a while. It was probably longer than when we had kissed at the hotel, the day Gon decided we were boyfriends. Later, after Gon had stopped kissing me, he had his head resting on my shoulder and his right hand in my left, while his left arm was wrapped around mine.

"Mmm…" He said, getting comfortable, "Killua…"

"Yeah, Gon?" I asked.

"Next time we kiss," he yawned, "can I put my tongue in your mouth?"

"What?"

"Well, the last time I did it, it was really fun."

Fun for you, maybe, I thought.

"And, I just thought you'd like it more if we did it more."

"I'll think about it," I said.

"Don't think too hard," he said with sleepy concern.

"Why's that?" I was genuinely curious.

"That's what you always tell me when I say I'll think of something."

I laughed, "That's because you're you, Gon. You always think too hard and you hurt yourself. I don't need to worry about anything like that."

"Oh." He said distantly.

I could tell he was paying more attention to his sleepiness than to me and I was fine with that. He always did that when we were talking before bed. I can't remember a day since we met where we didn't talk before bed, either. However, this time, before he finally gave in to his weariness, he probed me for something I wasn't too sure of myself.

"Killua," He asked.

"Yeah?" I responded.

"Earlier, when Mr. Hitsujikan told us he could teach us how to use our Nen as a second set of eyes, you got really mad. Why did you get mad?"

I was silent, trying to think of how to phrase what I was going to say. "Well," I said eventually, "he made you upset. And I don't like it when people make you upset."

"I see," he said as if he hadn't heard what I'd just said, "That's nice."

"I have a question for you, now, Gon." I said, hoping he wouldn't fall asleep before he answered.

"Hm?"

"At dinner, you looked at me and then you laughed. Why did you do that?"

His response was almost instantaneous with my question, "Because I like seeing you smile. You don't do it very often, so when you do, I just have to laugh about it so I can remember it."

"So that's why…"

I trailed off, thinking of all the times Gon just suddenly laughed. Every time that I smiled, Gon had laughed. Last week, I would have thought it was weird, but now, I found it rather sweet. Just another lovable trait about Gon. Of course, I'd never tell Gon about it; I have an image to keep.

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Sometime during the night, I had a sudden urge to get out of bed. I'd never had one of these urges before, so I didn't know what it was about, but something told me to do it and not disturb Gon. Luckily, by that time, Gon had rolled over so it was easy not to disturb him. I got out of bed and dressed and went to the door.

"Killua?" Gon asked, "What are you doing?"

Shit, I thought, just how light does this kid sleep?

"I just felt like going for a walk," I said. It wasn't a total lie, but I knew that I couldn't tell him the real reason. I wasn't too sure what the real reason was in the first place.

"Okay," he said, "come back to bed soon. I'll miss you if you're gone for too long."

"I-I'll miss you too, Gon," I said.

"I love you," he said.

I sighed thinking, God, kid, just let me leave already! But saying, "I love you, too, Gon. I'll be back before you know it."

I went back over to the bed and kissed Gon on the forehead. Then I left the room and started walking down the hall, following an unknown feeling. I was thinking of scenarios in my head while I was walking. I was trying to figure out what this feeling could be and what I would do if and when I encountered it.

What the hell am I doing? I thought, I've never gone on a late night walk before without Gon, so why the hell am I doing it now?

These questions were constantly running through my head. It got a little distracting when thoughts of the feeling and the questions collided inside of my mind. I paused when I saw a light coming from a slightly open door. Every thought I had up until that moment left me. The only thing I could think of to do was investigate the light. As I got closer, I heard voices.

"Master," it was Hikaryo, "do you really think it was wise to tell those boys that you couldn't train them?"

"Yes, Hikaryo," the old man said, "I do."

"But why, Master?" Hikaryo asked, "You and I both know that you are able to train them. So why did you lie to them?"

"I did not lie, Hikaryo," the old man responded, "I told them the truth. If I were to train those boys, their friendship would be torn apart. One of them would pick it up faster than the other, making the other one jealous. That jealousy would destroy their friendship."

I tried to imagine that situation in my head. I knew that the one that would learn faster was Gon. So that made me the jealous one. But, no matter how I looked at that, it just didn't make sense. Why would me being jealous of Gon break apart our friendship? I've always been jealous of Gon and that hadn't affected anything in our friendship. Unless…

Unless Gon was the jealous one. Jealousy is something Gon isn't that used to. I'm sure he's felt it once in a while, but… No. I decided to push the thoughts away. I kicked the door all the way open. It made a bang on the wall, which startled the two who hadn't sensed my presence.

"That's fucking bullshit, you old geezer!" I yelled as I felt something rolling down my cheek. "There's nothing that can break the bond of friendship that Gon and I share! You hear me?! Nothing!"

I ran down the hall, towards the stairs and out the front door. I didn't stop when I was out of the door; I kept running. I wiped my eyes as I ran. I was crying and I didn't know why. Why had that old geezer's words made me cry? This whole night has just been confusing.

I ran into the forest that was nearby. I still didn't know what that feeling was that had woken me up, but I wasn't in any mood to think about that now. All that mattered to me at that moment was getting away from that house. I needed to think. I needed to be alone. I found a clearing and sat down with my knees against my chest and my head buried in them.

"Stupid fucking old man," I said out loud, though nobody was around to hear me, "Why the fuck did he have to say that? Not once, but twice. Fucking twice! 'One who knows' my ass!" I wiped my eyes again. "And why the fuck am I crying!? I just… don't know. Why the fuck did I even come to this fucking place?"

I buried my face in my knees again. I thought about why I had burst out like that. It didn't make any sense to me. I thought about the old man's words again. He said, 'one of them will be jealous and it will ruin their friendship'. Friendship.

I realized that it was the word 'friendship' that made me so mad at the old man. Though, how it made me mad, I wasn't sure. I tried to think of why when I heard a voice. I lifted my head and called out to see if anybody was out there. I was pretty deep into the forest and it had only been a few minutes since I'd left the house. So, the thought of somebody knowing where I was this soon didn't really make sense to me.

"Ki-llu-a~" The voice called again, "Ki-llu-a~"

"Hello?" I called out, "Who's there?"

"Ki-llu-a~" The voice seemed so familiar, but I couldn't figure out who it belonged to.

"What do you want from me?" I called.

There was a long moment of silence. Then, the voice said, "Ki-llu-a~" and a ghostly figure of Gon appeared before me.

I was startled. I didn't know how Gon had suddenly just appeared in front of me or why he seemed so transparent. My initial reaction was that it was a trick; an illusion, but the Gon figure put his hand on my cheek to wipe away my tears and his touch felt so warm. I leaned into the warmth of Gon's hand.

"Ki-llu-a~" he said, "Why are you crying?"

"I…" I began, "I don't know. I was listening to that old man and he said-"

"Ki-llu-a~" Gon cut me off, "I want you to kill me."

"W-what?" I asked, shocked. Before, when Gon had asked me to kill him, he was angry. But this time, his face was smiling when he said that.

"I mean it this time, Ki-llu-a~" Gon said, "Please, come and kill me."

"I-I don't understand, Gon," I barely managed to say, as it seemed my mouth had instantly dried up.

"I'll be waiting in the room," Gon told me, "at Gakura's house. Please, come and find me. Come and kill me, please." He gave me a kiss and departed with one last "Ki-llu-a~".

I stood up and walked back toward the house. I didn't know if anybody was looking for me, but I didn't care. I opened the front door and walked inside the house. Up the stairs and to the room, my feet were like feathers blowing in the wind. I opened the door to the room and saw the sleeping figure of me best friend. I turned my hand to a claw as Gon was starting to stir.

"Mm…" He said still sleepy, "Killua? What's going on?" He yawned and continued, "I dreamed that I heard this loud noise coming from down the hall. Then I heard you yelling at something." He noticed my hand. "Killua? I something wrong? If there's something wrong, you can tell me."

I raised my hand and struck out at Gon. He managed to dodge, but I still got his shoulder. He was about to say something when I lunged again. He dodged again and his initial reaction was to elbow me in the back. He jumped off the bed and I looked up at his worried face.

"Oh my God, Killua," he said, "I'm so sorry. Did I hit you too hard?"

I jumped at my friend again. He was quick for just having woken up. I swung my arm at him and he ducked then kicked me in the stomach. I staggered back, doubled over in pain. I looked up at my friend and saw his face was less sympathetic this time.

"Killua," he said sternly, "What the hell is going on? Why are you attacking me? Answer me!"

I said nothing. Instead, I just lunged at him. He guarded, expecting an attack for the front, but I snuck behind him and swung my arm at him. I wasn't sure if he dodged or if I missed on purpose, but I just barely managed to scratch his back. He turned around after a second of registering the pain. By this time, most of the older kids had come to our room and were looking on as we fought. I didn't pay them any mind, though, as my focus was Gon.

I lunged at him and he grabbed my arm. I struggled to get free, but Gon's grip was so tight that not even and elephant could get out of it. I looked at his face while I was struggling. His face was a mix of worry, fear, defiance, and sadness. There were tears coming from his eyes.

"Killua," He said through a choked voice, "I don't want to hurt you."

I turned my other hand into a claw and swung it at his face. He easily dodged it. His grip on my other arm tightened. It felt like he was going to break it. I knew that Gon would never do that, though, so I just kept swinging my arm at him while trying to get my other one loose. He kept dodging my attack.

"Killua," Gon pleaded again, "This isn't like you. Now, please. Stop swinging your arm and say this was all one big joke and let's laugh about it. Please!"

I didn't listen. Somewhere, deep inside of my mind, I knew that I should do what Gon wanted. However, the part that knew was so small that it seemed insignificant. I kept swinging my arm. Gon's grip tightened. I knew that he wasn't using any Nen and that if he decided to, my arm would break like nothing.

"Killua," he said once again.

I looked at his face. He was using the eyes. He was actually using those big, brown puppy-dog eyes that I hate so much. He was using the eyes. He was using the eyes… on me. He was doing the one thing that I couldn't stand the most. He was using the eyes on me! The small part of me that knew that what I was doing was wrong, also knew that Gon was out of options.

"Killua," he said while still using the eyes on me, "Please. Stop."

I swung my arm. I felt Gon let some of his Nen into his aura as his grip once again tightened around my arm. I felt the bones in my arm snap. I'm pretty sure that everybody that was there heard them snap. Gon let go of my now-broken arm. I dropped to my knees.

"Killua," He said with tears now streaming down his face, "Please, don't make me hurt you even more. I don't want to do this anymore, Killua. I just want to be with you."

Gon wrapped his arms around my neck. The pain brought me back to my senses. I was confused. I didn't know where I was or what had just happened. All I knew was that Gon was hugging me and he was crying. I was pissed. I saw the kids from earlier staring at us.

"Which one of you assholes hurt my friend?" I yelled at them.

They all turned around and ran away. I thought they were a bunch of pussies, starting something and not finishing it. Gon was still crying. I brought my hand up to his back and gently stroked it. I shushed him in an attempt to make him feel better. He lifted his head from my shoulder and looked me in the eyes.

"Killua!" He said and then he hugged me tighter.

I took his shoulder and pushed it away, looking at his eyes that were now filled with joy. I said to him in a serious tone, "Gon, what happened? Which one of those assholes hurt you? Tell me!"

Gon shook his head, "None of them hurt me, Killua."

"Then why were you crying?" I asked.

Gon looked at me confused, "You were attacking me."

"What?" I said, "That can't be right. I'd never hurt you, Gon."

"But you were!" Gon insisted, "You were attacking me and I broke your arm! I'm sorry!"

"Broke my-?" I noticed my right arm and how it was, indeed, broken. "But.. Why would I…?"

"I was hoping you would tell us."

I turned my head toward the doorway and saw the old man and Hikaryo standing there. They looked like they had just been out in the forest, looking for something. They were out of breath, so they'd obviously been running. My guess was they were running out of the forest because they heard what was going on at the house. They came into the room and shut the door.

"Killua," the old man said, "What's the last thing you remember?"

The question confused me, but I answered, "I remember being on the floor with Gon crying."

"I mean before that."

"I remember laying in bed, talking with Gon."

"You don't remember yelling at us?" Hikaryo asked.

"I-" suddenly, my head started to hurt. I put my good hand up to it and Gon had concern in his voice when he said my name. "I'm fine, Gon," I assured him, "I… I remember now."

I told them about a feeling I had to get out of bed. I said I wasn't sure what the feeling was, but it was too strong to ignore. I told them that I overheard their conversation and I got really mad so I ran into the forest. I told them about how, when I was thinking, I heard a voice. I said that I wasn't sure what happened after that.

"But the next thing I remember," I finished, "is Gon crying."

"That's just like what happened to me all those years ago," Hikaryo said, "Only I remember the horrid details of what happened."

"Enough," the old man said, "Gon, Killua, I think it would be best if you left right after breakfast. On your way, you will have to pass through that same forest. However, I suggest you do not stay the night there. If you do, the same thing may very well happen." We nodded. "Good. Now, let's try and get some sleep."

The old man left and Hikaryo was just about to follow him, when I stopped him. I asked if I could talk with him privately. He nodded and I followed him out of the room, assuring Gon that it would not take long. We walked to an empty room, one of the spare bedrooms, I guessed, and he closed the door. There was silence as he waited to hear what I had to say.

"Hikaryo," I began, "When you heard the voice, did it" I paused, trying to think of how to describe what I had seen in the forest. "Did it have a form?"

"I'm sorry?" He asked, confused.

"Did you see anything speaking to you in the voice that you heard?"

He thought for a while and said, "No. I believe it was just a voice. Why?"

I told him about the ghostly figure of Gon that I saw. He said it was just an illusion. I told him that was my initial reaction and that I had felt the touch of its hand on my face. He seemed surprised by this. He asked me what the figure had said to me.

"'Kill me'," I said, "I pleaded for me to kill Gon."

Hikaryo's face was serious. He thought on my words for a while. He said that the best thing for me to do was to follow the old man's advice. I asked his about if I heard the voice again and he told me to just ignore it. He also said to find a way to distract myself if I couldn't ignore it.

"But most of all," he said, "stay close to Gon." I looked at him in confusion and he explained, "Whatever it was that spoke to you, appeared to you as Gon. It knew that you were alone. It knew that you wouldn't listen to a voice, unless it was Gon's voice. It knew you better than you know yourself. If you are close to Gon, it won't appear to you. It won't talk through Gon's image. If you ever have that feeling like you want to leave Gon, then find a way to ignore it."

"Hikaryo," I asked, "Have you heard the voice since that time?"

Hikaryo was silent. He finally said, "Yes. And I have done exactly as I am telling you now. Do what I have told you and you will be fine. Now, let's take a look at that arm."

He grabbed my arm and lifted it. I felt a tug at my back and remembered my stitches. I asked Hikaryo if he could take a look at those when he was done with my arm. He smiled and agreed. A few minutes later, my arm was full healed, thanks to a bit of Nen Hikaryo had learned for healing, and my stitches were out. Although, there's a big scar where Kitakura had cut me.

I thanked Hikaryo and went back to the room. Gon was sitting up in the bed, looking relieved that I had come back as myself this time. I told him that Hikaryo had healed my arm as I was walking to the bed and Gon was amazed. He apologized again for breaking my arm. I hit him on the head and hugged him.

"I'm the one that should be apologizing, idiot," I said, "I wanted to kill you. All because of a stupid feeling."

"Killua," Gon said, "You said that you got mad when you heard Hikaryo and Mr. Hitsujikan talking. Why?"

I let go of Gon and sat down on the bed. I looked at the floor and said, "They were talking about why the old man wouldn't train us. He said that one of us would learn it faster than the other, making the other one jealous. He said that would tear our friendship apart."

"Bullshit!" Gon exclaimed. I looked at him, surprised by his sudden outburst. "Sorry," he said.

"Oh, no," I said, "That's exactly what I said. That's why I got so mad. Nothing can ever break us apart. Nothing." I gripped my shorts and continued, "I can't lose you, Gon. I just can't."

"Killua…" Gon said.

"You're all I have," I said, "So, I can't lose you."