Chapter 18: The Truth

"G-Gon," I said, "s-stop. Please."

"Eh?" Gon said, looking up at me, "But this is what you want. Ne, Killua?"

"Yes," I said, but realizing what I had just said, I lifted my head and added quickly, "N-no! No! This isn't what I want! You have to stop! Now!"

Gon crawled up my naked body and looked me in the eyes. They weren't the eyes I was used to looking in to. They were darker, with less color to them and a look that didn't belong in them. They smiled at me and it seemed like there was another presence in them. I didn't want to look in them, but I couldn't look away.

Gon chuckled and said, "You can't fool me, Killua. I know this is what you want. Because I want this, too."

He gave me a kiss and then crawled back down my body to my navel while I protested, "Stop! Please! Gon! You have to listen to me! I don't want this. I never wanted this! I… I just wanted to be with you."

I put my head back down on the ground because my neck was getting sore. Tears started to roll down the side of my face and make the ground wet. I wanted to do something to stop this. This wasn't supposed to be happening. I had to stop it, but I couldn't move. I couldn't do anything that would stop my best friend from going too far. I braced myself for moistness to surround a part of my body that I would never want surrounded.

"Get away from him, you bitch! Jan…Ken…"

With one Nen-enforced punch to the face, the Gon that was on top of me flew away and smashed into a tree. I opened my eyes to see another Gon standing above me, breathing heavily. He wasn't looking at me, though, so I followed his gaze and noticed that the tree where the other Gon had crashed into had broken and stirred up a dust cloud. I was confused about which Gon was the real one.

"If you EVER touch my Killua again," the Gon standing over me threatened, "I promise you that I will break your fucking arms!" He looked at me and said, "Killua, let's go."

He grabbed my right arm and pulled me up. He then started to pull me in a direction the led away from the broken tree. I felt a tug on my other arm and I looked over to see who it was. The other Gon was looking at me, as he had before our little 'game'. The Gon on my right must have felt the sudden stop as he let go of me, grabbed both arms of the other Gon and twisted them so hard that I actually heard the snapping of the shoulders. The Gon with working arms grabbed mine again and started to pull me in the same direction as before.

"G-Gon" I stammered, trying to keep up with his pace, "What about my clothes?"

"Leave them," Gon said, "You've got other clothes in your backpack at the last clearing."

It was true. We had left our backpacks at the clearing where Gon had tackled me. We left them there as a marking for when we made our way back. Only the real Gon could have known that. Suddenly, a new feeling filled me up: guilt.

"Gon," I said, "Are you mad at me because of what was happening back there?"

"No, Killua," he said in a softer tone, "I'm mad at that fucking impostor for doing what he was doing to you."

He led me back through the forest, making sure to avoid all the traps I had pointed out to him. The wind was cold against my skin. No one said anything the whole way back so my mind wandered. I thought about what that Gon back at the clearing actually was. He had said that I wanted what he was doing.

Was that true? Did I really want that from Gon? If it was true, then how could he have known that? Was there some way he could see into me? I wasn't sure. If it really was what I wanted, then was it something in my heart or something in my mind? I couldn't be too sure on that either.

And the other thing he said bothered me, as well. He said that he had wanted it. I'm pretty sure he was speaking for Gon, but how could he have known that? If he had an ability to see into me, did he use it on Gon as well? Or was he just saying something that I had wanted to hear?

"Hey, Gon," I began.

I wanted to ask him about why he wasn't mad at me. I wanted to ask him if what the other Gon had said was true. But when he looked back at me with those big, brown smiling eyes, I couldn't find the words. He seemed like he had already forgotten what had just happened. How he managed to do that always amazed me.

"Uh," I said, "What happened to you?"

"Huh?" Gon asked, "What do you mean?"

"Before," I explained, "I looked back and you weren't there. What happened?"

"Oh," he looked away shyly and continued, "I… uh… fell down."

"Fell down?" I questioned.

"One of the traps." he admitted.

"That I pointed out to you?"

"Yeah."

I hit him on the head with my free arm and said, "Idiot!"

"Ow!" He said, "It's not my fault, Killua! Right after you said it was there, I fell into it. I didn't have any time to react!"

"Uh-huh," I said, disbelieving, "Then what?"

"Huh?" He said.

"Do I have to explain everything to you?" I practically yelled, "What happened after you fell down?"

"Oh, right." He said, "Well, after I fell, I landed on my butt and that hurt. Then I tried to climb out, but the hole was really deep. So then I thought about using my fishing rod, like before, but I remembered it was with my backpack at the clearing. And so then I…"

Gon continued his long explanation and I couldn't help but smile. He was completely oblivious to my smile, as he was so engrossed in his story. I liked listening to his stories because they gave me an excuse just to listen to his voice. To me, whenever he speaks, it's like I'm listening to a choir of angels. It probably wasn't that far from the truth because, at times, I thought Gon really was an angel.

"Ki-llu-a~"

That voice. I thought after what had just happened, I wouldn't ever hear that voice again. It said my name three more times, each time with more affection. As it kept saying my name, I kept picturing that other Gon as if it was him saying my name. I tried to concentrate on the real Gon's voice telling his story, but the other voice got louder the more I tried.

"SHUT UP!" I yelled, pulling my arm away from Gon's grasp and bringing both my hands to my head to cover my ears.

"Eh?" Gon said, "But you asked me what happened."

"Ki-llu-a~, Ki-llu-a~. Ki-llu-a~, Ki-llu-a~."

"JUST SHUT UP! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD!"

I knelt down on the ground as the voice constantly pounded my brain with my name over and over again. I kept screaming out for it to stop, but it just got louder. I started to shake my head, begging for the voice to shut up. I was about to start rolling on the ground, when Gon hugged me. His grip was so tight, it was as if he was holding on for dear life. I felt something wet on my shoulder. Gon was crying. Why was he crying?

The voice stopped after I had registered that Gon was crying. I said, "G-Gon, why are you crying?"

"I'm scared, Killua," he said.

"Scared?" I asked, "Of what?"

"Of whatever it was that was happening," he said, "You looked like you were in so much pain. I was afraid I was going to lose you to that voice again."

I took my hands away from my head and slipped them underneath Gon's arms. I retuned his hug, but not as tight. I reassured him that he would never lose me, ever. His grip only tightened. It was clear that he wasn't going to let go any time soon and that was just fine with me.

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The first thing I did when we got back to the clearing where we had left our backpacks was get some clothes out. It was colder than it seemed without clothes. It had taken a little while to get back, as well, because Gon kept getting us lost. Whenever we reached a splitting path, Gon had always insisted it was the wrong path. I insisted we take the other one and it always turned out to be the right one.

Once I was dressed, I told Gon that we needed to get out of the forest soon. He agreed and reminded me of the tree. I was confused at first, but when he explained it was the tree that he insisted we passed a few times, I remembered. I told him we'd find a different way out. When he asked which way, I pointed to a direction that didn't lead back to the tree or to the other clearing.

Before we left the clearing, I transformed my hand into a claw and marked a tree just to be sure we would never pass by again. We headed off in the direction I had said and we walked for some time. I couldn't be sure how long it had been because I had lost all sense of time after the sun had gone down. We walked up to a clearing to take a break and I noticed the mark I had left on the tree. I wasn't sure how it was possible because I was sure we had gone in a relatively straight line, only making a few turns - none of which I felt led back in the direction of the clearing.

"I'm starting to see what you were talking about, Gon," I said.

"Huh?" He asked.

"About the tree," I said, "and how we passed it."

"Oh." He realized.

"I think this forest is fucking with us."

"Ki-llu-a~"

The other Gon suddenly walked out of the trees and into the clearing, still in his underwear. Gon and I both stood and got into ready stances. We weren't sure what this person was capable of. Or even if it was a person, for that matter. I remembered how it asked me to kill Gon and how it almost had its way with me. I was pissed.

"Ne, Killua," the other Gon said, "Why did you leave when I was about to pleasure your-"

"What the fuck are you!?" I shouted at it, cutting it off.

"Eh?" It said, looking both offended and surprised, "I'm Gon."

"Bullshit!" Gon and I both shouted at the same time.

"It's true!" The other Gon defended, "I'm the Gon of Killua's deepest desires. Ne, Killua?"

"No!" I shouted, "That's not true! I would never want Gon to do…that!"

"Ne, Killua," the other Gon said, "you shouldn't lie. You know I can see through them."

"Just shut up!" I argued, "You're not Gon! Tell me who or what you really are now and then maybe I won't slit your fucking throat."

"I already said, I'm the Gon of your deepest desires. I am a child of the forest, created when you first entered. My only purpose is to have you."

"The fuck does that mean?" I said.

"It means," the so-called 'Gon of my desires' said, "that you are destined to stay in this forest with me. We can stay young and make lots of love forever. That is what you want. So, you will leave this one and come stay with me. Ne, Killua?"

"Like hell he'll ever do that!" Gon shouted.

The other Gon looked at him in anger and said, "I was talking to Killua."

He stretched his arm out and Gon suddenly went flying backwards. What was that? Was it some form of Nen? It wasn't Nen Gon would use. Gon always charges up his Nen before attacking. I ran over to Gon who was just getting up from the attack.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said, "I'm fine."

"You bastard!" I turned to the other Gon, "What did you do?"

"It was one of the advantages of being a child of the forest, Killua," he explained, "I have a special kind of Nen that allows me to control every natural thing in the forest. My Nen is so special that it doesn't even fit in the six categories." He started walking towards us as he said, "I also have an endless supply of Nen that comes from the forest itself. I am the most perfect being on the face of the planet. Now, step aside, Killua. I'm going to do what you should have done last night."

I stepped in front of Gon, "What the fuck makes you think I'm gonna do that?"

The other Gon looked at me with the big, brown puppy dog eyes that I can't stand to see. I had to fight in order to keep my will. I realized that I might have to fight this Gon. If that was the case, then could I do it? Could I really attack the image of my best friend consciously?

"Killua, move." Gon said from behind me.

"Huh?" I looked back, thankful I wasn't looking into those eyes anymore.

"Move out of my way," Gon said, "I'm going to take care of this fucker myself."

I saw a hatred in Gon's eyes that I rarely ever saw. He was serious about wanting to do it himself. Normally, I would have argued and hit him on the head, but at the moment, I was too pissed at the other Gon. So I just stepped aside as Gon got to his feet. The other Gon laughed.

"You think you have any chance against me?" He said, "How pathetic."

I was about to rush in and start beating the living hell out of that kid. Whether he looked like Gon or not, it didn't matter. Nobody called Gon 'pathetic' while I was around. At least, nobody who ever spoke again. That made me even more pissed at him. However, Gon put his arm in front of me to stop me.

"Killua," Gon said, looking right in front of him at the other Gon, "I want you to stay out of this. This fight is between me and him. Hey, you!" He pointed at the other Gon, "Let's go fight in the clearing."

"Might I ask why you want to do that?" the other Gon responded.

Gon just smiled and said, "There's more room to beat your ass."

The other Gon looked at me, smiling, and said, "Ne, Killua, I'm gonna kill this one and the we can be together, kay?"

"Go to hell" was my response. Followed by, "Gon, kick his ass."

"With pleasure," Gon said, cracking his knuckles and his neck as they both walked into the clearing.

I climbed a tree as they went to the clearing, so I could get a better view, and as soon as they had both entered the clearing, the other Gon turned around and hit Gon with the back of his hand, causing him to fall to the ground. As he got up, he spat out some blood and wiped his face. He told the other Gon that it'd take more than that to hurt him. He then charged at the other Gon who ducked under his punch and tried to punch Gon in the stomach. However, Gon brought his other hand over to intercept the punch.

He flipped the other Gon over and the other Gon hit the ground hard. Gon then brought the arm he had a hold of around to the back of the one on the ground. I noticed a slight movement of the other Gon's free arm and was about to say something. However, I knew that if I helped Gon, he wouldn't forgive me. He'd wanted to take this other Gon on by himself and if I helped him then, even if he won, his pride would be forever hurt. I bit my lip, knowing that I could do nothing.

The other Gon moved his free hand out to the side and a bunch of leaves from the ground flew over to them and surrounded Gon. I couldn't tell what was happening to Gon because there were a lot of leaves, but I could tell that he let go of the other Gon, who got up knocking Gon to the ground. The leaves dispersed and the other Gon had his hands around Gon's neck, strangling him. I could tell Gon was trying hard to get the other Gon's hands off his neck, but wasn't doing much. Gon lifted his head and head butted the other Gon, who was forced to let go. Gon stood up, rubbing his neck.

"I don't buy your 'child of the forest' or 'Gon of Killua's desires' bullshit," Gon said, "To me, you're just an impostor who's trying to take Killua away from me. I can't let that happen. Jan…ken…"

The other Gon jumped to a distance and said, "I know your trick. You can't punch me from here."

Gon smiled that competitive smile and said, "I don't need to punch you."

He put his hand in front of him and a huge ball of Nen shot towards the other Gon. The other Gon was so shocked by Gon's Emission attack that he didn't register to dodge it. The Emitted Nen hit its target and sent the other Gon back into a tree. I knew that if the Other Gon could somehow heal his arms, then he could also survive an attack like that. It took the other Gon a few minutes, but he eventually got up and walked back to the clearing.

He ran at Gon and faked a punch, which Gon was about to block. With Gon unguarded, the other Gon kicked him in the stomach. Gon doubled over and the other Gon kicked him in the face and sent him flying a few feet away. As Gon was getting up, a tree root wrapped around his leg. I just about jumped out of the tree because Gon was struggling to get his leg free. However, I remembered that Gon had wanted to do this alone, so I stayed, gripping onto the tree.

As Gon was struggling, another root wrapped around his other leg. He tried to pull both legs free of the roots, but couldn't manage it. The other Gon walked towards him and I saw something in his hand. I couldn't make out what it was, but I saw it had a point. A sword, maybe? But, if so, where had it come from? The other Gon was in his underwear and that's hardly enough to hide a sword.

I saw Gon charging up his Nen. Was he going to punch the other Gon again? Was he going to Emit his Nen again? I didn't think those attacks would work, as the other Gon seemed to learn fast. However, as soon as I saw a shape forming from Gon's Nen, I remembered that he had one last attack. He Transmuted his Nen into a sword and cut the roots that held his feet captive.

The other Gon was surprised by Gon's latest ability, but blocked Gon's attack as he ran up to him with his Transmuted sword. My guess was the other Gon's sword was also made of Nen, because Gon's attack would cut a regular sword in half. That would also explain how he was able to hide a sword when he was just in his underwear. The two Gons duelled it out with their Nen-swords. I was afraid that Gon couldn't hold his out for long seeing as how Transumtation isn't close to Enhancement, at least that's how Wing explained it to us when he taught us the basics.

Gon most likely knew that he didn't have long because he was going all-out. He was slashing away like there was no tomorrow. However, the other Gon kept blocking his attacks with ease. Then, the moment I feared happened. Gon's Nen sword suddenly disappeared. Gon tried to get it back, with much protesting to it vanishing, but it didn't happen. And the other Gon, seeing the perfect opportunity, stabbed Gon right through the chest. Gon had lost.