Chapter 10: Goodbye, My Enemy

Word Count: 3,731

Ivan didn't know how long went by, but by an estimated guess, at least a couple months, probably longer. Alfred would still bring him food, sometimes they would talk, it was arguing just as often as it was civilized. Alfred seemed to get into the habit of drugging him whenever he tried anything in forms of attack or escape. And sometimes, not often and yet much too frequently, they would fuck. It wasn't the best choice, sleeping with the other. But talking he didn't mind, and the food he needed more than socialization. Still, he could almost feel himself becoming used to this life. Staying in a single room except to shower or piss with the only noise being the occasional sound or Alfred talking.

He knew logically people were social creatures and needed socialization. Only certain people could go extended periods of time in one room all their life with only one person to talk to. Yet, feeling himself becoming used to it was different. He had sunk into a depression against his will as well. If he got out he would have noise and light sensitivity. Actual sunlight, he hadn't seen it except in passing. It would take time and cause many headaches to get reintegrated into the real world. The worst part was he was considering just giving up.

"What are you thinking about?" Ivan looked down to the blond laying beside him, partly on him.

"Nothing." Ivan sighed, running his hand through Alfred's hair. The blond sighed, leaning into the touch with a light, relaxed smile. Ivan supposed Alfred was just as isolated as himself. Ivan knew now that Alfred had food and other groceries delivered, so the blond was going through the same thing he was. He had thought of just not letting Alfred talk to him or touch him so the younger would have to go out in search of interaction, but Ivan couldn't ever bring himself to do it. So here they were, murderer and ex-FBI becoming dependent on each other for the most basic of needs. It was a dangerous thing really, and not something Ivan would ever deliberately do, even if the situation was different.

"It's Halloween tomorrow." Alfred muttered, laying his head back on Ivan's chest.

"Halloween? Then it has been..." That meant it was the end of October, almost November. It had been what month when he left? June. So it had been around five months. Nearly half a year. "You are still here..."

"Sorry Ivan, nobody's looking for you." Alfred muttered, and he did actually sound sorrowful, perhaps regretful. Alfred sat up a bit, biting his lip and leaning forward to kiss Ivan's cheek. Nobody was looking for him? But surely somebody, anybody would realize he wouldn't run off without a word beside a letter he didn't even write saying he was just so guilty for sleeping with a suspect he was retiring. That was just crazy. What about his sisters? Surely they had been looking for him, but what if the agency had told them he had left and couldn't be contacted, would they just leave it there? Ivan had felt lonely being here with just Alfred, it made him appreciate even the basic of relations, just saying hello to Toris or talking to Raivis once in awhile. Of course, they weren't even close, Ivan wasn't close with a lot of people. But somebody would find it suspicious, would still be looking. But he knew that was unlikely after so long, there were other things to get done, that were more important. He knew that logically, but he still suddenly felt like the world was as empty as the room he was in. "Don't cry please." Alfred muttered against his cheek, arms wrapping around his neck gently. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry Ivan, I am."

He sounded it, strange as that was. Ivan couldn't comprehend the apology though, what it meant, how could the other possibly be sorry? Perhaps he was just sympathizing, that made sense actually. Ivan thought of pushing Alfred away, but just like other times when he thought about it, he couldn't follow through. He wasn't crying, not yet, his eye sight was blurred and he tried to convince himself that it took more to make him cry, a lot more. But at the moment he couldn't think what was worse than his current situation, other then one of his sisters being killed. Which they could be for all he knew in this place, closed off from the world. Alfred just rested against him in a comfortable embrace, so Ivan focused on that for now, he could think of other things later. He buried his head into the others shoulders, closing his eyes.

Alfred smelled of the same soap and shampoo Ivan himself used when he showered, his hair was still short, but not as neatly cut as it should have been if somebody else had cut it. From the way his hair was it was clear that an amateur had done it, of course Ivan knew Alfred did it himself, who else was there? Alfred wasn't about to trust him with something like scissors or a razor, even if they would be dulled from use. His clothes were worn, Ivan had only seen him wear about five different shirts and three different jeans altogether. He wasn't sure how much underwear or socks the other had though. Alfred didn't wear socks anyway, so he might have had none. The shirt was clean though, but Ivan hadn't ever heard a washer, so the other probably washed all clothes by hand. It made sense actually, and-

"Ivan, hey, calm down, alright? You'll get out of here, don't worry."

Ivan snorted, pulling back with a sigh, moving one of his hands under his head as he laid back, giving Alfred a look, "You do not even believe that."

Alfred smiled, "That's not true, if I didn't believe that I wouldn't go to such lengths to keep you in!" Ivan gave a weak smile, was Alfred actually trying to cheer him up? Perhaps the other cared for him, in his own way- Ivan shut that thought down quickly. He knew he was on a dangerous path where not only would a part of him would rely on Alfred, but where he would be obsessed. He didn't need that, didn't need to speed up the process. It was coming, and he didn't know how to stop it, but he didn't want it to happen, not yet... Not ever.

"Alright Alfred." Ivan muttered, hesitating and running his hand through Alfred's hair before turning, forcing Alfred to roll off of him a bit. Ivan rolled onto his side, staring at the wall. He felt a bit sad by the sudden lack of touch, but he didn't have the heart to turn back either.

"Come on." Alfred said, nudging him, "Ah..." There was silence a while and Ivan was sure that Alfred would just give up and either cuddle into his back or leave dejected. "I've got some news that might cheer you up?"

"And what could that possibly be?"

"Well ah... I know it isn't a ton, and not going to make up for anything, but... I haven't killed anybody since we've been here." Ivan hesitated before rolling onto his back to look at Alfred, raising an eyebrow.

"Really?" But of course, Alfred couldn't leave him alone for a couple days, and he had lost all his equipment. Alfred nodded, seeming hesitant, like he was afraid Ivan would deny him human contact. If he craved it then he wasn't a true psychopath, but Ivan pushed that thought away too, it implied Alfred wasn't the monster he was. "That... Does help, a bit." Alfred smiled though and laid his head and hands on Ivan's chest, resting there again. It was nice, feeling Alfred's warm skin against his considering the other had unbuttoned his jacket for that exact purpose. Ivan did feel better, knowing his being here was at least stopping Alfred from picking up his dark hobby. Ivan knew better though, you couldn't stop a serial killer from killing, Alfred would do it again. He would have to, it would be like an urge that couldn't truly ever be repressed. "You are going to do it again though," Ivan sighed, realizing then, that even if Alfred didn't go out and kill another, Ivan was right there. He knew then, that Alfred would end up killing him when the urge grew too unbearable.

"No, as long as I have to watch you." That, Ivan believed.

He could see it coming, it was maybe only a week later, and Alfred was becoming agitated, but also worried and thoughtful. Sometimes when he was sitting in the room, he would stare at Ivan with such a thoughtful, planning look Ivan knew it would be soon. He wished to slow the process down, cuddling with Alfred and fucking him more often, even not making any trouble. He didn't know what Alfred was after in victims, but he hoped that he was slowing down Alfred's decision to kill him. That the other preferred somebody who fought and not one who was compliant. The next week however, Alfred came in and he seemed different, he stood in such a way that would intimidate some, with a sureness and he seemed distant when he talked to Ivan.

Alfred tried coming closer to him, but this time Ivan moved away. Alfred stopped then, looking at Ivan. They both knew that today was the day, and know Alfred knew that Ivan knew it. Alfred smiled in a way that actually made a shudder of fear run through him. Alfred advanced on him, and once more they fought. But, as times prior to it, the fight was ended by Alfred jabbing a needle into Ivan's skin. It stung and hurt, but soon that faded with his vision and he was unconscious.

Ivan licked his lips, they were dry and he was thirst. His head was pounding. He tried to move his hands, but they only moved a little, they were above his head, and there was noise all around him. Panic shot through him as he remembered what happened and realized he was someplace else, alive and sore for now. He jerked up, opening his eyes, he was held back though and his eyes landed instantly on Alfred, who was sitting cross legged on the floor, he had been looking elsewhere but as soon as Ivan jerked, his head moved to look at him.

Alfred smiled softly at him, and Ivan's eyes observed the outfit the other was in, it was different, there was still a hockey mask on the blond's head, not yet on his face, bright colored clothes that looked like they had fake blood on them, but in the dim light Ivan almost mistook it for being real. A Halloween costume, then again, that season had just passed. What drew Ivan's attention most was the chainsaw. Ivan looked up briefly, noticing his hands held up and attached to some sturdy metal pipes above his head before looking back down.

He had know this was coming, he had known it. Yet a part of him, a stupid, illogical part of him felt almost betrayed. He narrowed his eyes, glaring silently at Alfred. So this was how it was going to end.

The blond put the chainsaw aside, standing up, "Let's talk a moment, shall we?" He said, and without the chainsaw in his hand Ivan believed that his death wouldn't be a quick one.

"I would rather not."

"Got no choice in the matter." Alfred said, walking up to Ivan until he had to look up to see the blond, that was until Alfred knelt down, pulling out a small knife and looking at it with almost dull interest before looking back at Ivan. He grabbed Ivan's chin, holding his head still before Ivan felt a sharp pain and flash of blood against his cheek. He hissed, trying to jerk his head back, but Alfred's grip held firm, even with his gloves, they were black this time. Alfred pulled the knife back and let go of Ivan's face, pressing his hand into the cut harshly. Ivan hissed, pulling his head back now that he was able.

Alfred put his hand on the hockey mask, and Ivan tensed, ready for the other to lower it and forgo the talking to start hacking away at Ivan. He didn't though, once he had whipped his hand across the surface, he pulled his hand back, looking at it before smearing the rest of the blood on his shirt, looking like he was trying to wipe it off of his glove. "Now, I want you to listen." That was fine, Ivan didn't feel like talking, even if he wasn't pissed, he was fearful for a painful end that he was faced with. "You have the most annoying team ever. I kind of liked Toris, he was polite, it didn't seem like he could just let it go."

Ivan licked his lips again, trying to get them wet, it seemed pointless, some drugs just did that. "What do you mean?" Ivan managed to get out, his voice strained.

"He kept looking for you, why do you think we're here? He found out where I was." Alfred shrugged. Ivan felt a pure happiness he hadn't felt in awhile, though it was small and he didn't let himself show it. Perhaps Toris looking for him got him killed faster, but the brunette had been looking, and that was all Ivan could ask for at the moment. "You know," Alfred started again, "I knew one thing when you found out and I knocked you unconscious, and that was one of us would have to die. I didn't kill you for a lot of reasons right then. But I knew eventually, it would come to this. Well maybe not exactly this, but you get the picture. One of us would have to die."

Ivan didn't say anything, turning his hands in the chains to try and get them loose. But Alfred knew what he was doing, and they gave no sign that they would come undone anytime soon. He looked back at Alfred, who was smiling at him in a way that showed he knew what Ivan was trying and that he wouldn't succeed. "I love you Ivan, I don't want you to question that, and honestly you are an awesome guy, and the good guy out of this situation. Hell, they'll probably see you as a hero when this is all said and done. Battled with the monster and all that. Most don't understand how scared and jaded law enforcers become. Some become the monsters themselves, I always liked the saying: die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become a villain. That speaks to me, I'm sure it speaks to you too. You have to put yourself in the mind of the killer to understand them, to catch them. But to understand them cracks your own sanity."

"I see where people picked up on a supposed hero complex." Ivan whispered out, not that he was trying to whisper, it just came out that way.

The blond gave a smile, nodding and leaning in towards Ivan, connecting their lips. Ivan froze a moment before his mind caught up with him, and he opened his mouth before biting down hard onto Alfred's lip. The other managed to draw back, hissing and touching his lip. Ivan expected a slap or the other stabbing the small blade he had into him. Instead he got a pout, "That was really mean, I just wanted a goodbye kiss."

"Go to hell."

"Only if I can meet you there." Alfred smiled, it faded though, "Listen, I want you to do something for me, I know you don't owe me anything, but I'd appreciate it." Alfred said, closing the knife and pocketing it.

"Answer me when you got these things."

"Not long ago. Just had to drug you a bit before Halloween and go shopping. I may have robbed some dude's house for the chainsaw, but it was just so shiny, y'know? How could I resist." Alfred smiled, pulling his hand out of his pocket and standing up, walking away from Ivan and leaning down to pick up the chainsaw. He only needed one hand. Then again, from Ivan's memory the other could throw it a good distance and in order for the object to rip through muscle and bone, Alfred would need to be very strong. Ivan tugged at the chains holding him, trying to prevent the growing panic. "Listen Ivan, I want you to remember this." Ivan was listening, he couldn't help that. Adrenaline was pumping through his system, making all his senses better, hearing included. "Tell Mattie I'm sorry, and I died when I stopped protecting him." Ivan stopped struggling then, looking at Alfred, trying to dissect what the other said, to understand it. "I'm not going to tell you why I did all this Ivan, but you're not somebody I could kill. I'm selfish, sure, I kidnapped and kept you, I didn't need to, not really. And well... I want you to remember me for a long, long time yet. And I just know you'll puzzle over why I did all of it. Sorry to say Ivan, I want to haunt your memory. Maybe I just want to be remembered, I dunno, I'm only human despite what you think." Alfred shrugged, pulling something out of his pocket, a pair of dice, one white, another red.

Alfred rolled them around in his gloved hand that was covered in blood, he looked at them awhile, almost thoughtfully. Ivan stayed silent, still trying to understand what Alfred was saying, what was going on. Suddenly he heard a loud bang, a metal door being forced open past the whirl of machines and he swore he heard rushing footsteps. Alfred dropped the die then, putting a hand on his mask, "Show time, wish me luck." Alfred winked, pulling it down to cover his face. "You know, humans have such a tendency to not be able to kill something that looks like them. But if they're face with a monster, something abnormal, they won't hesitate."

It was almost like things clicked after the door was open. Alfred had planned this. He had planned he would be found here before long, he was planning on dying and on Ivan living. That Alfred had known... Since Ivan found everything out that Alfred would die. Of course, Ivan had been slightly puzzled why Alfred hadn't killed him to begin with, it was easier killing somebody then hiding them as you had to feed and take care of them. So... All that time, Alfred never planned to kill him. That explained a lot, now that Ivan looked back the last few months, the empty gun, Alfred throwing a knife away opposed to using it.

He understood then what Alfred was saying about monsters. He didn't look human, using Alfred's old words, he looked like something straight out of a horror film, nothing recognizably human, every inch covered that might prove him human. Of course it helped clear up any evidence, but Alfred didn't need such an outlandish outfit to do that. "Wait," he said as Alfred started away, "Why do you dress like that?"

"Like I said Ivan," Alfred's voice was muffled and sounded different, "there are the questions that will haunt you." Alfred continued away until he was out of Ivan's sight. He tried to yell, to get either Alfred's attention or the legal force most likely there, he didn't know himself. But he realized just how little he could raise his voice over the noise of the machines around him, fighting against the chains around his wrists as strongly as he did when he thought he was going to die. Alfred couldn't just leave, after every fucking thing that had happened, with no explanation or answers as to the why of it. Alfred could not do that to him. But clearly, he could.

Ivan froze when he heard several gunshots ring out, listening as they stopped. There had been several, and while he tried to count, he couldn't. He didn't dare move, not knowing who he wanted to come and find him. The choice wasn't his to make anyway. Somebody came into view, of course it was SWAT, the man raised a gun at Ivan before seeming to realize who he was, or perhaps just that he wasn't a threat. He lowered the gun and called in through the small hand-held he had. Ivan couldn't hear him well since he was a few feet away, but it was something about 'finding' so Ivan could assume the rest.

The man came over and unchained Ivan, letting his hands drop down, they felt a bit strange from lack of blood flow. The person asked if he was alright and Ivan nodded. For a reason that he could hazard the guess behind, Ivan was unnerved with the fact he couldn't see the others face through the protective mask. It reminded him too much of the blond that had just walked away.

He was more beat up then he thought however, because he needed some help getting out of the place. He didn't see Alfred at all, and opted to ride in one of the police cruisers there - he knew he wouldn't be allowed in the SWAT truck - just in case he would find a covered body, or a still living Alfred. At this point, he didn't know which of the two would be worse.