Healing and repairing
"Some sort of window to your right,
he goes left and you stay right
between the lines of fear and blame
you begin to wonder why you came."
-How to Save a Life, The Fray
A/N: anything in bold italics is what Samantha is writing down to communicate.
The clock across the room read quarter after ten. Thunder rumbled outside and thick dark clouds hung ominously in the sky. The ran had subsided, but the forecasters were predicting much more. The city had never seen that wet of a summer. And it did little to rid the air of the stickiness and humidity.
Flack sat at his desk, trying his best to concentrate on the work in front of him and failing miserably. For the last half hour since he'd gotten hold of the Bloomfields in Switzerland to inform them of the untimely deaths of their loved ones and arranged to meet with them on their arrival in New York, he'd done little more than stare at the computer screen in front or him and tap his pen noisily on the top of his desk. An autopsy report lay open to his right. Official COD on the first five victims had been massive blood loss due to multiple stab wounds. Sid had counted over a dozen on each vic, including the gashes across their throats that came mere millimeters from severing an artery. They'd been sedated with the drugs before any of the injuries had been inflicted. COD on little Tessa was a drug overdose. Sex assault had occurred prior to death, the stabbing afterwards. What Flack couldn't piece together was what the little girl was doing in the basement, what the perp -now identified as Travis Cooper, the 33 year old former gardener for the Bloomfields- had against the family do to such a twisted, horrible thing, and how the hell he'd managed to kill that many people by himself. Flack suspected the guy had some help, but so far, he wasn't talking.
Flack had seen a lot of nasty, horrific crime scenes in his time. But the one last night at that sprawling mansion had to be one of, if not, the worst. One he wouldn't forget any time soon. And as terrible as it had been, the only thing he could think about was Sam. In the past two hours alone he'd made over a dozen phone calls to the hospital to check on her. He had the feeling he was getting on the nurses nerves. Not that he cared. What he did care about was counting the minutes until he could get the hell away from work. He'd had his little chat with IAB and they'd cleared him of any wrong doing. They had, however, given him a strong reprimand and a warning to keep a better eye on his people when clearing a scene.
He glanced up at the sound of Gerrard's voice across the bullpen area. His boss was standing in the doorway of a meeting rom with the same IAB rep Flack had talked to and the young uniform who'd fucked up so bad at the scene.
And all three were smiling. And that made Flack's blood boil and his stomach twist into knots.
Gerrard slapped the uniform on the back. "Don't worry son," he said. "It was an honest mistake. These things happen."
"Just make sure it doesn't happen again." the IAB rep said. "You're very lucky the CSI in question wasn't killed."
The uniform laughed uneasily. "Hey... one last science geek, right?"
The IAB rep frowned at that comment. Gerrard had the nerve to chuckle.
Flack's blood pressure doubled in less than thirty seconds. He watched and waited for the uniform to begin walking towards the front door, and for Gerrard and the IAB rep to disappear down the hall and hole themselves up in Gerrard's office before pushing his chair away from his desk and getting up to follow the uniform.
He caught up to the young officer in the parking lot, just as the kid was unlocking to driver's side door of his patrol car. Before he could open it all the way, Flack slammed it closed and the uniform turned to see who it was, an immediate frown of covering his face.
"You told me you checked the basement." Flack said, voice low and serious.
"Detective Flack, Gerrard and IAB told me not to discuss this with you. I've already told them my side and that's it. It's over." he went to open the door.
Flack held it shut. "I asked you if you checked every last spot. My exact words were 'are you sure it's secure because I don't want a CSI getting raped or pillaged down there' and you swore up and down that you checked every goddamn inch."
"I did. I never thought of checking the wine celear. And I didn't hear anything weird, so..."
Flack's temper and voice rose. "You didn't find if just a bit weird that the dead bolt on the door was undone?"
"I assumed that..."
"You don't assume anything. Ever. Assumptions get people killed. And that nearly happened."
"But it didn't." the uniform pointed out.
"It could have." Flack told him.
'"Look, no harm, no foul, right? And if those lab geeks were real cops, they'd..."
Flack felt his last shred of patience shatter. He grabbed the kid by the front of his shirt and tossed him against the cruiser, holding him there with all the strength in his body. "They are real cops. More than half of them were once uniforms just like you and just like I was. Mac Taylor is a decorated Marine and Doctor Sheldon Hawkes is someone I respect and would pick to have my back any day. You told me that the basement was clear and someone I really care about nearly died tonight. She's still unconscious in the hospital and is gonna be there a while. If it was up to me, you'd be writing parking tickets for the rest of your career. Or working as a rent a cop down at Macy's."
The young uniform looked terrfied. He'd heard stories about Detective Flack's quick and brutal Irish/Italian temper and was now getting to see at least a portion of it.
"You're stupidity nearly kills someone and all you can do is toss insults around? I should kick your sorry ass up and down this parking lot!"
"I'm sorry!" the uniform babbled. "Is that what you want to hear? I'm sorry?"
"If I hear another word coming out of you about her, I will hand you your ass twice over!" Flack warned him. "And if she doesn't pull through this, I am going to come looking for you and when I find you, all your little precinct buddies won't be able to help you or stop what I'll be doing to you. What happened to those vics last night? That's gonna look tame compared to what I'm gonna do to you. Understand?"
The uniform swallowed noisily and nodded.
Flack let the kid go now that he'd nearly made the guy piss his pants. He pointed a finger of warning in that terrified face. "Anything happens to her, you better be lookin' over your shoulder. So you better do a lot of goddamn praying that she's going to be okay."
The uniform just nodded, threw open his car door and scampered inside. He couldn't get out of that parking lot fast enough.
Flack sighed heavily. Feeling at least somewhat sated for the time being, and turned to head back inside. Only to come face to face with Mac and Stella. Judging by the looks on their faces, they'd seen and heard nearly everything.
"What was that about?" Stella asked.
"Little disagreement." Flack replied. In a tone that really meant 'mind your own goddamn business'.
"Looked like more than a little one." Mac commented.
Flack ignored that. "You guys here to talk to Cooper? He just got up about an hour ago. He's not saying much other than how sick is he. Says he doesn't remember killing anyone or attacking a cop. But those bullet grazes are reminding him he was bad boy last night."
Mac frowned. "You talked to him? With no one present?"
"I just asked him a few questions." Flack said.
"I told you to stay away from him, Don. Even one question is too many. You know that. His lawyer could easily say you were forcing him into a confession. That you leaned on him because you're personally connected."
"Is it really that easy for you, Mac?" Flack asked. "To close yourself off and not feel anything?"
Stella suddenly felt incredibly uncomfortable and didn't want to, or need to , hear anymore. "I'm going on." she said. "Whenever you gentlemen are finished..."
Mac waited until Stella was out of ear shot to continue. "I've learned how to separate things," he told Flack. "How not to let my personal feelings for Stella or anyone else cloud my work judgement."
"Well I guess that's my down fall, Mac. I'm human. We can't all be like you."
"That line we talked about, Don? The one between professional and personal? You're starting to cross that. Both you and Samantha promised me neither of you would let your feelings for each other affect your work."
"Mac, she almost died. She's in the hospital. Unconscious. We don't even know if she's going to come out of it the same person she was before. There could be all kinds of problems from those drugs. The seizures could have caused permanent problems. All that and all you can talk about is keeping things separate? How do I do that? When I love her as much as I do. I should be at that hospital, Mac."
"You have a job to do, Don. As cold as that sounds, it's the truth. You have a job to do and you need to go and do it."
Flack shook his head in disbelief. "You're unreal." he said.
"I know that's not what you want to hear." Mac told him. "And I know it's killing you inside not to be there with her. But you have a responsibility to yourself and this team to do your job. I know that sounds cold, but..."
"It does sound cold. It is cold." Flack said and began walking away. "But I've come to expect that from you."
It was quarter after one in the afternoon when Flack was finally able to clock out. The case was closed. He'd watched and listened to Stella and Mac conduct a phenomenal, anger and emotion filled interrogation of Travis Cooper. He'd even up coughing up his four buddies that had assisted in the horrific massacre of six innocent people. Cooper and his equally as drugged up buddies, had gone to the house to seek revenge on the Bloomfield family over what Cooper described as an unfair work dismissal. He kept showing up for work all hopped up on Demerol and Oxycontin, courtesy of one of his buddies who was stealing it from Angel of Mercy where he worked as an orderly. Mrs Bloomfield couldn't put up with his drug problem and subsequent foul, erratic behaviour, especially around her children. So Cooper hatched a Helter Skelter like plan with his friends and what happened the night before was the end result.
It hadn't mattered that when they got to the house they found another family, not the one they ended on butchering. Cooper had tried to justify their actions of drugging the victims before hand, calling it an act of compassion and humanity.To make matters worse, they had decided to kidnap little Tessa and keep her as long as possible as a sex slave. After repeatedly raping her in the basement -where they planned to make their escape from- they had been prepared to take her away when she suddenly collapsed, went into convulsions and died. They'd given her a massive, fatal dose of the drugs. And when the cops showed up -thanks to Gramma's last heroic act of phoning 911, the buddies had the sense to take off into the ravine while Cooper hid out.
His reasoning for attemtped murder of a police officer? He didn't want any evidence left behind that could be traced back to him and was prepared to kill and to steal whatever had been collected. The buddies were picked up after Cooper coughed up their names and locations, and with solid arrests under his belt and the relief the news of Zack's death brought him, Flack was finaly able to call it a day and head to where he belonged.
Carmen was asleep in one of the bedside chairs when he arrived. Her shoes were kicked off and her feet up on the edge of the bed. Her head tilted at an odd angle and a warm wool blanket tucked around her and pulled up to her chin. She stirred when she felt someone nudge her legs and she murmured and slowly opened her sleepy eyes. Blinking in the bright sunlight that cascaded through the thin drapes, she glanced up and smiled at Flack as he stood beside her, holding a carry tray of coffees and a bag from the downstairs gift shop.
"Hey." she said, yawning noisily.
"Hey." he took out one of the coffees and handed it to her.
"Thanks. What time is is?"
"Almost quarter to two." he sat the tray and gift bag down on the bedside table.
"Really? Shit. How'd it go? Was he the guy we wanted?"
"And then some. Him and a few buddies of his decided to hand out a lite punishment 'cause he got fired as the Bloomfields gardener for being a junkie. It's a long story. All that matters is that we got him and he's behind bars, where he deserves to be."
"Always a good feeling when the bad guy goes away." Carmen declared.
How's she doing?" he asked, going to the side of the bed and gently pushing Sam's hair away from away from her face, tucking it behind her ear like she always liked to wear it. There was a nasty row of stitches that closed the gash above her eye and the side of her face was bruised and swollen. Her slender, pale neck was covered in hideous bruises.
He bent down and pressed a kiss to her forehead and look down at her with such love and adoration that Carmen thought her own heart would burst just watching him.
"The doctor was here not too long ago." Carmen told him. "He said that her vital organs are operating at close to hundred percent. He'll keep any eye on her some heavy duty meds for the seizures and leave the catheter in to keep an eye on her water works. She opened her eyes a couple hours ago."
"Good news." Flack said.
"She was really out of it but she opened her eyes and looked right at Adam while he was talking to her. Then she went back to sleep and hasn't been up since. She hasn't even moved, actually."
"Yeah, well rest is what she needs, right?" he kissed her forehead once more and then went to the gift bag and opened it. "Check this out, Devine." he said, and from the bag pulled out a snow white stuffed animal. A Persian cat to be exact. With big blue eyes and long whiskers and a shimmering pink and purple ribbon around its neck.
"There is a sight I thought I'd never see." Carmen declared. "You with a stuffed animal."
"Sam asked me the other day if I'd buy her a cat. And seeing as I have massive allergies so the idea is out of the question, I thought I'd get her the next best thing. Saw it downstairs and I couldn't resist." He sat the cat down next to Sam's pillow.
Carmen smiled. Thinking what a sweet, unselfish gesture it was on his part.
Flack grabbed his coffee and pulled the second chair up beside the bed so he and Carmen sat on either side of it.
"What?" he asked, when he noticed her staring at him.
"You never cease to amaze me, Flack. One minute your big tough cop chasing down a perp, the next your buying your girlfriend a stuffed animal.'
"I am a study in contradiction." he declared.
They sat in silence for several minutes, sipping their coffees. Carmen noticed that not once did Flack's eyes leave Samantha, alternating between looking at her face and the vital signs that were displayed on the large screen behind the bed.
"You hear anymore from Gerrard?" Carmen asked.
"Not yet. But I'm sure I will."
"IAB was here. Around ten. They don't waste any time, huh?"
"They're fucking bastards." Flack said. "Guess they weren't too impressed they couldn't talk to her."
"One guy kept trying to wake her up. He was pretty persistent. And rude. I kept telling him it was a lost cause, she'd be out for a while. But he would not give up. So I called security and had him removed."
"Good. And thanks. For sticking around 'til I got here.'
"She's my best friend, Flack. I wasn't going to leave her alone. And you're welcome. So are we going to do this? Come to the hospital while we're working?"
"No problem. I have the next three weeks off."
Carmen's eyes narrowed. "You weren't suspended, were you?"
"No. Sinclair showed a shred of humanity and asked me if I needed to take some paid leave. To take care of her. So I took it."
"I've said it before and I will say it again. You are a man in love." Carmen told him and yawned noisily.
"You should take off, Carmen. Get some rest."
"I should. I didn't want to leave until you got here. In case she woke up."
Carmen stood up, yawning and stretching noisily. She leaned over the side of the bed and kissed Sam's forehead and stroked her friend's cheek softly. "I'll see you in a little bit, baby girl." she whispered, then turned to Flack, tears in her eyes. "That was really scary." she said.
He stood up as well and wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly. "Yeah." he agreed. "It was. Hope we don't ever have to go through something like this again."
"Hope not." Carmen sniffled.
"Got some news on Zack." Flack said and let her go.
"Wonderful. When it rains it pours."
"He's dead. And inmate knifed him early this morning. After raping him."
"Is it wrong of me to want to dance a jig right now?" Carmen asked.
"Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. I must sound like a real evil bastard for saying that."
"No." she said. "You sound human."
Three days later, Adam found himself walking into Gus Broussard's office, his sister's journal in hand. Samantha had finally come to the night before, around ten o'clock, while he was sitting in one of the chairs by her bed, playing his PSP. Flack had gone to grab something to eat and some fresh air. He'd been at the hospital non-stop, taking short breaks to go home and shower and change. The rest of the team made frequent visits and the room was filled to exploding with floral arrangements and balloons and get well cards and stuffed animals. Adam had managed to to talk the Sarge and their mother out of flying in. Assuring them that everything was under control and Sam was well taken care of.
Estelle, Gus' secretary, glanced up from her typing and at the young man standing at the window. "Can I help you?" she asked.
"Yeah... uh... I'm here to see Doctor Broussard."
"Do you have an appointment?"
"Not exactly." Adam sheepishly admitted.
"You can't see her without an appointment." Estelle told him.
"My sister, she had an appointment scheduled for today but she can't 'cause she got hurt on the job and she's in the hospital and just finally became coherent and..." Adam took a deep breath. "she asked me to come here and give the doctor something."
"Detective Ross is your sister?"
Adam nodded.
"I heard about the incident. How is she?"
"Much better."
"Have a seat, hon, and I'll let Gus know you're here. She's just with a client right now.'
"Thanks." Adam said and sat down in the small waiting room. Staring down at the purple journal in his hands, fighting the evil temptation to read it. He snuck a peek and decided when he saw Tim Speedle's name and a question mark beside it that he just didn't want to know.
The door leading from the office area to the waiting room clicked open softly and Adam looked out. There before him was a tall, willowy, exceptionally beautiful blond.
"Mr Ross?" Gus asked,
He jumped up and went to her. "Adam." he said, offering his hand.
"Adam." she said with a smile and shook his hand warmly. "Pleasure to meet you.'
"You too." he said. Damn, he thought. She is way too pretty for words. "My... uh...my sister wanted me to...uh...she wanted me to give you this." he said and held up the journal. "She's been writing in it constantly and seeing as she couldn't make it today, she wanted me to bring it by. She said she'll use a note pad 'til she gets this back at her next appointment. She told me to tell you that what's in it is very important and she needs you to read it. Well, she didn't exactly tell me verbally 'cause her vocal cords have been damaged and she can barely talk so she writes everything down. And her hand writing is awful and we can all hardly read it and we... I'll shut up now. I ramble when I'm nervous. Sorry."
"Why are you nervous?" she asked, finding him rather appealing with his head of wild curls and turqouise eyes. He and his sister looked nothing alike. Except for the freckles.
"I always get nervous around really beautiful women." Adam said.
Gus felt herself blush in spite of herself.
"I am sooo sorry." Adam said. "I should not have said that. That was very inappropriate of me considering the circumstance. I am sooo sorry."
"It's okay." Gus assured him. "We all like a compliment from time to time."
He smiled. He liked her voice. Her accent. It was alluring.
"How is your sister?" Gus asked.
"A lot better. She came to last night. The perp really drugged her up and it took a while for her to come out of it. Doctors were worried about organ failure and stuff like that, but she's almost out of the woods."
"By God's graces." Gus said.
Adam nodded. "She's going home in a few days. Thank God. Maybe another couple of weeks or longer 'til she can go back to work though. That'll kill her. She's kinda a workaholic when she's not being a sexaholic or an alcoholic."
Gus blinked.
"Joke. Meant that as a joke." Adam laughed uncomfortably. "Anyway, like I said, she's going home soon. Well, not home. But to her boyfriend's. He took some time off to take care of her."
"That was nice of him."
Adam shrugged.
"You don't like Detective Flack?" Gus asked.
"No. I mean yes. I like him. He saved my butt not to long ago and he's great to work with. I do like him. I just don't like him with my sister. I have protective brother issues."
Gus nodded.
Adam checked his watch. "I have to go." he said. "It's just an hour break and I wanted to run the journal over."
"Tell your sister I'll have a look at it. Take care, Adam."
"You, too. You know, if you want and you don't find it inappropriate, you could stop by Trinity to see her. She talked really highly of you and she'd probably like to see you."
"I'll try to swing by." Gus told him.
"Great. Well, see ya. Bye."
"Bye." she said simply and watched him disappear out the door. She stared at that door for a very long time.
Samantha was sitting up in bed with Carmen beside her. Sam was till hooked up to both the IV and the catheter. She was drawn and weary looking and looked like she could sleep for a million years. The doctors were slowly weaning her back onto food, starting with liquids and pureed. At the moment she was enjoying soft vanilla ice cream smothered in caramel sauce while wearing a comfortable pair of pyjamas from home and flipping through a copy of US magazine.
"Check this pic of Britney out." Carmen said and nodded to a photo in her own Star magazine. "Look how bad her weave looks. All that money and she can't buy herself a better weave? What's up with that?"
"She's a goddamn train wreck." Sam said, her voice best described as a squeak from a very tiny mouse.
"She was so cute and all when she first came out and now look." Carmen said.
"I know. What the fuck happened to her is what I'd like to know. Justin breaks up with her and she goes to shit. And then that K-Fed bum. He needs to get to Taco Bell and get himself a job. When he's named father of the year, you just know the world is coming to an end." she took some ice cream and then a sip of ice water.
"Throat sore?" Carmen asked.
Sam nodded.
"Here." Carmen grabbed a washable magic marker and a small washable message board from the night stand. "Take it easy and use this."
"Can't wait until..." her voice cracked and she uncapped the marker and wrote: I can eat real food
"Why are you complaining?" Carmen asked. "You're on a steady diet of Popsicles and ice cream."
I'm gonna get fat
"Yeah. Right. Once you get out of here, you can burn it off with wild, hot sex."
Sam grinned. He's slept here every night since this happened. When I go to sleep he's here and when I wake up he's here. That's not a complaint.
"I know." Carmen said.
I love him. So much.
Carmen smiled and kissed her friend's cheek. "I know baby girl, I know. And he loves you. Do you realize that now?"
I do.
A knock came to the door and Stella poked her head in. Carmen waved her into the room.
"How's it going?" Stella asked. "How's our patient?"
"Well, she's still a patient," Carmen replied. "But she's getting there.'
Sam gave an okay sign.
Stella leaned over the bed to give the younger woman a hug and kiss to the cheek. "Good to see you awake. How are you feeling?"
"So-so." Sam managed to say. "Today I had..." her voice gave way again and she rolled her eyes and wrote it down. Speech therapy.
"For what?" Stella asked.
Sam pointed to her throat.
"Damage to her vocal cords." Carmen said. "The therapist is trying to strengthen them. And you should see him. He's cute."
Looks like Colin Farrell. Don is sooo not impressed.
Stella laughed. "Guess not. Look what I brought." she opened the plastic bag she was carrying. "Those strawberry Kool-Aid pouches you always bring to work and tons of reading material. Got some Sudoku game books in here and the new issue of Cosmo." Stella held up the latter. "Listen to some of the articles, 15 ways to blow your man's mind, men's secret hot spots, and my personal favorite, 10 steps to earth shattering orgasms."
"Nice." Carmen declared.
Sam gave an enthusiastic two thumbs up and went back to her ice cream
Stella took a seat on the edge of the bed. "So, you get to leave soon or what?"
"A few days...can't wait... tired of..." she pointed to the bag at the side of the bed.
"Peeing through a tube?" Stella finished. "I thought your kidneys were working normally?"
"Slightly below." Carmen said. "Docs are keeping an eye on it."
"Well you better hurry up and get better." Stella said. "So you can come back to work. Mind you, you'd be the first CSI to every work with a portable catheter."
If I could, I would laugh at that.
"We miss you, kiddo." Stella said sincerely, "Hurry up and get better, okay?"
Sam nodded.
''Where's Flack?" Stella asked.
"Speed took him for a beer and for something to eat." Carmen replied. "Relax a bit. He's been here non stop since he's been off. He even sleeps in a chair or on this crappy roll out couch someone found."
Sam nodded in agreement. Although earlier, he had crawled into the bed right along side of her, careful to mind her tubes, and promptly fell asleep. It was Carmen and Tim that who woke them up, after standing there for a while, thinking how adorable the sight was. Well, at least Carmen had thought that.
Stella smiled. "It's what a man will do when he's madly, desperately, hopelessly in love. I'm so happy for you guys, Sam. That you found each other. I've never seen Flack as happy as he is with you. You've changed him. Made him think of the future and what he wants out of it. And that's no small feat. You're good for him. And I'm glad he realizes that."
Sam smiled.
"I guess you're happy about Zack." Stella said.
Sam frowned. "What about him?"
Stella looked at Carmen. Then back at Sam. "You don't know?"
"Know what?"
"Sam, Zack's dead. He was killed in prison."
Sam's eyes narrowed and she looked at Carmen for confirmation.
Carmen simply nodded.
"When?" Sam asked.
"Five days ago." Stella replied. "Same night as your attack."
"No one told me?"
"Honey, you've been out of it all this time." Carmen reasoned gently. "When we're we going to tell you? You just woke up last night and we were all so happy to hear you were going to be okay that we didn't want to ruin it by mentioning Zack."
"How?"
"Another inmate found out he was a cop." Stella explained. "Decided to exact revenge for all the wrongs various cops had done him in the past. He stabbed him. Several times. And raped him."
Sam was stunned. Tears welled in her eyes.
"Hey," Carmen said. "Don't you do that. Don't you cry for him. Don't give him that."
"It's not that. It's just that..." her voice cracked and she put her hand to her throat and winced. That part of my life is over. I can finally get on with the next part. Only I don't know how.
Stella hugged her. "Don't worry, kiddo." she said. "We'll help you as you go."
Flack was stretched out beside her on the cramped hospital bed, watching the small hospital t.v., his arm securely around her, her tiny body tucked into his side. Her catheter had been removed the day before, but she was still on the IV and the strict liquid, baby food diet. The doctors gave the okay for her to go home in three days, and depending on follow up exams, back to work in three weeks.
Sam was flipping through one of the many magazines Stella had brought. Eating a cherry Popsicle. Her throat felt like it was on fire. The bruises around her neck and on the side of her face deep, ugly purple.
"I was thinking," Flack said. "If you're feeling okay next week, we can do some stuff while I'm off."
Sam grabbed the board and the magic marker. What kind of stuff?
"I don't know. Tourist stuff. Go to the Empire State Building, Statue of Liberty, stuff like that. I'll even push you around in a wheelchair."
She frowned. That is going way overboard. If I can make it down the hall to the elevator and to the bathroom, I'll be okay.
"Fine." he said. "No wheelchair. Just lots of breaks. We have lots of time to do stuff. Adam is going to come and stay with you when I go back to work. He got a week off. By the end of that, you should be ready to come back."
"Hopefully." she squeaked.
"No talking. Your other boyfriend said not to talk for a couple days. Now I know that's hard for someone like you...'
She elbowed him playfully.
He kissed the top of her head. "And in a few days you should be onto regular food again and we can go out and have a nice quiet, romantic dinner and not have to worry about being interrupted."
She touched her neck and the side of her face.
"Doesn't matter what it looks like." Flack told her. "If people stare at you, I'll just tell him that the other guy looks worse."
She smiled and went back to her Popsicle. Finishing it off, she tossed the garbage into the can by the bed. Careful to watch her IV in her left hand, she cuddle in close to him, her head on his chest.
"Tired?" Flack asked, rubbing her back.
She shook her head.
"You should get some rest. You need all the rest you can get."
"I'm not tired. I just..."
He handed her the magic marker and the message board when her voice failed.
I just want you to lie here with me and hold me.
He turned off the t.v. and wrapped both arms around her. She closed her eyes and nestled her face in his shoulder as he stroked her hair softly.
"You really scared me." he said.
She pulled back to look at him. Saw the tears in his eyes.
"I was so scared, Samantha. When I saw you down in the ER and you had thos eseizures and you wouldn't wake up for four days... you really, really scared me. I was afraid I was going to loose you. And I don't want to loose you.'
She kissed him softly.
"I love you so much." he said. "You'll never know how much."
I love you, too, she mouthed and used her finger tips to wipe away his tears.
"I don't want to go through this ever again. This time you were lucky but what if next time..."
She kissed him again to silence him.
"I want to be with you. Spend my life with you. I want you to have my kids. And I need to know if you're feeling the same way. I need to hear it from you. Not anyone else. I need to know if we're on the same page here."
"Are you trying to ask me something?" she managed.
"Not yet. But I want to know that I won't be making an ass out of myself when I do. That you won't say no."
She picked up the marker again. I won't say no. You're the only person in the world I can see myself married to and having babies with.
"I just thought after Zack, maybe you wouldn't be into the marriage thing."
Zack doesn't matter anymore. He's dead. That part of my life is dead. I want to have a new life. With you. Can we work on that?
He nodded and kissed her. Soft and loving. When he went to pull away, she put her hand on the back of his head and deepened the kiss. When it started getting a little too intense, he managed to pull away.
"You're not ready for that, Sam," he told her. "Neither am I. And even if we were, this isn't the time or the place."
"I miss you." she said.
"I miss you, too. But you're back now and neither of us are going anywhere and we got all the time in the world. Rest of our lives."
She smiled and kissed him and cuddled into him.
A soft knock came to the door. A sheepish looking Adam holding a colorful arrangement of flowers.
"Uh...hi...guys... I hope I'm not disturbing anything."
Sam untangled herself from Flack and waved her brother in, a smile on her face.
"Mom and Sarge." Adam said, holding up the flowers. "They sent these instead of paying a visit. I have never been so thankful to have flowers delivered to my apartment."
He sat the arrangement down on the window ledge among the many others and went to the bed to give his sister a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek. "How are you feeling?" he asked.
"Better. Hungry. I want a Big Mac and fries and a sundae with caramel sauce and peanuts and..."
"No talking." Flack said. "Take it easy. You heard the therapist. You need to take it easy.'
Adam laughed. "Come one, this is Sammie. She doesn't know how to take it easy. Or shut up."
Sam tossed her magazine at him.
"See." Adam said. "She is getting better. She's back to her feisty, bitchy self. So did your hear? I get to be your nurse for a week. I'll stay with you until Flack gets home every night. As long as I can bring my PSP."
Sam picked up the marker. Don already has PS3 X-Box Game Cube and loads of games
"Dude!" Adam exclaimed. "I didn't know you were into video games!"
"Used to be." Flack said. "Until someone started taking up all my free time."
Sam wrote feverishly. He's full of shit. He stays up til 3 playing NHL '08 while he thinks I'm sleeping.
"Got Grand Theft Auto or Halo?" Adam asked excitedly.
"Both. Got Tony Hawks, Resistance, all kinds of sports stuff. Tons of things. About forty games all together."
"Sweet!" Adam cried. "I am so not gonna want to leave your place!"
"Sorry, Adam." Flack said. "One Ross taking up space is enough."
Adam laughed. Sam elbowed Flack in the ribs.
A nurse came in to change the IV and check Sam's vitals. Adam decided to head down to the cafeteria to grab him and Flack some coffee and Sam some ice cream. He was just steps off the elevator on the main floor of the hospital when he saw a familiar face in the floral shop, contemplating flower arrangements stored in a cooler. She was dressed in a form fitting sage green paint suit and had her hair back and glasses on.
Adam headed inside the shop and stood right behind her.
"She likes orange and yellow." he said.
Gus jumped and twirled around.
"Sorry." Adam said bashfully. "Didn't mean to scare ya...remember me? Sam's brother?"
"Adam." she smiled brightly. "I remember you very well. It's nice to see you again."
He turned about a dozen shades of red. "Uh... you, too...Dr Broussard. Or is it Mrs or Miss or Ms..."
"Gus is fine. What were you saying about orange and yellow?"
"Sam loves any flowers that are orange or yellow. You are here to see her, right?"
"I am. I heard she's looking up and I wanted to come by and give my best wishes. How is she?"
"Going home in a few days. Back to work in another three weeks they figure."
"I'm glad she's doing so well. All of you must be so relieved.'
"We are." Adam enthused.
"So." Gus said and turned back to the cooler. "Orange and yellow..."
She selected an arrangement of orange, yellow and white Gerber daisies, sunflowers and carnations. Adam took them from her to carry for her. Their finger tips touched. Both felt a little spark.
"Thank you." Gus said, uncharactersistically flustered and heading for the cash.
"You know," Adam followed her. "The nurse is in with Sam right now and I was just on my way to the cafeteria. You want to come with? I can buy you a cup of coffee."
"As much as I'd like to Adam, I don't think that's appropriate. Your sister is a client of mine and..."
"It's just a coffee, Gus. Nothing funny. Just coffee."
"I just don' think..."
"Just coffee." he repeated.
She saw the sincerity in his eyes. Thought how undeniably adorable he was. A sweetheart. "I will let you buy me a cup of coffee." she conceded.
"How about dinner?" he tried. "Can I buy you dinner?"
"Adam..."
"Out of bounds. You're right. I'm sorry. What if my sister wasn't your client? Would you go out to dinner with me then?"
"I would." Gus said.
Adam smiled. "Really? You would?"
Gus nodded.
Adam couldn't wipe the smile off his face. Memo to self, he thought. Find Sammie a new therapist.
Once again, thanks to all of those R and R'ing!! Hope y'all are getting my e-mails and that y'all are still enjoying this!!