Chapter Four, - The Encounter
Leonard wasn't sure how long he was sat on the couch. A lump forming quickly in his throat. Because he knows Penny is on her way, he's not sure whether he can go ahead with this, he's not sure how she's going to react, just thinking of the encounter caused a knot to form in his stomach. He wasn't sure how this was going to go. But he knew, he knew deep inside that hiding away wasn't the way to go. He had to face up to this. He knew that deep down. But he was also scared. Scared of what people would think of him.
The many feelings he had experienced since the event. Confusion, anger, denial, hurt. All the emotions possibly under the sun, but the anger he felt was not aimed at his was at himself. He could barely look at himself in the mirror never mind even beginning to understand why it happened. Why him?.
He was brought out of these thoughts if you could call them that when he heard the buzzer of the apartment go, Penny was here. The lump in Leonard's throat grew even tighter because he knows that this isn't going to be easy, none the less he heads to the door picking up the receiver, he answers the buzzer letting Penny into the building he's told her the forth floor. He knows unlike the apartment with Sheldon that the elevator here was actually working, and he knew Penny would take it.
He falls back into thought as he knows this isn't going to be easy, he knows that. But the lump in his throat grew tighter, he was back to feeling numb until there was a knock at the door. The knot Leonard felt before Penny arrived had grown tighter, he knows he needs her support, in fact he needs all his friends around him. He'd told Penny. He was taking the doctors words into account, there was another knock at the door, and Leonard knew he had to answer it. So he did, he undid the chain and opened the door. To see Penny stood there. There's silence between them until Penny gasses as she takes the view in front of her in,
'Leonard what the hell happened to you?' she asked.
'I…' The words get stuck in his throat, she doesn't need to know everything,
'Leonard' Penny says his name once more.
'I was mugged' Leonard lies. She doesn't need to know the full truth, he knows that, it would be better if she didn't know just what exactly did happen. The knot in his stomach grows even tighter.
'Leonard why didn't you say something?' Penny tells him.
'I.' but once again the words are getting stuck in his throat. He wants this encounter to be over, he's feeling anxious and unsure about how he feels.
'Well I'm going to take care of you' Penny tells him
'No, I don't want you to do that' Leonard tells her. He knows she's worried for him. But he can look after himself.
'Leonard. Let me help you' Penny tells him.
'No, because I know you won't be able to handle it' Leonard tells her.
'Handle what.' She replies, concern thick in her voice.
'You won't want me when you know the truth' he tells her.
'Leonard, what are you on about? Of course I want you, I'm in love with you' Penny tells him
'I can't do this. I won't put you through this,' he tells her
'Leonard explain to me, you're not making any sense' Penny tells him.
'Don't make me say it' he tells her.
'Make you say what?' Penny asks.
'Please don't make me say it' Leonard pleads with her.
'Leonard, what's going on' she says
Leonard pulls up the sleeves of the shirt he was wearing so Penny could take in the many bruises that still scattered along his upper arms.
'You weren't mugged were you' Penny says, Leonard shakes his head to confirm this.
'Penny Please don't make this harder than it already is' Leonard says,
'Leonard tell me' Penny pleads with him, Leonard looks away unable to face her. The words stuck in his throat.