What a tangled web we weave...
"I wake up, it's a bad dream
no one on my side, I was fighting
but I just feel too tired
to be fighting
guess I'm not the fighting kind
wouldn't mind if if you were by my side
but you're long gone
yeah you're long gone now."
-A Bad Dream, Keane
A/N: Thanks to Mauveine for another amazing song. I need to hire her as my go to girl for music. Also, this chapter contains a little bit of dark. I warn you all now. And that there's a startling revelation made and it may drive some of you away. Just a warning.
He saw everything, but nothing. Unable to comprehend or process how it had ever come to this. He didn't hear the chirping of the birds in the trees overhead or the bubbling of the stone fountain less than a hundred yards away. He hear voices but they were garbled and muffled as if he was listening to them underwater. The most noticeable sound was the pounding of his heart hammering in his ears. He had a tremendous headache that blurred his vision and had been gnawing at his brain from the moment they began their journey to Holy Cross Cemetery in Queens. The ache only got worse as they crossed the lush green grass, Danny and Carmen with their arms around him, practically holding him up. Keeping him on his feet as they approached the mound of fresh dirt and the arrangements of flowers around that gapping hole in the ground, the coffin resting on a platform above. A newly finished light grey granite headstone gleaming in the sin. Marking double plot purchased only a week ago.
It was eerie. Seeing his last name on the stone. Only something wasn't right. Something didn't look right. It was all wrong.
SAMANTHA L. FLACK
APRIL 24 1978-MAY 3 2018
LOVED WIFE, MOTHER, SISTER, FRIEND
That name was wrong. It shouldn't have been there. There was nothing under his name that was engraved next to it other than his birth date. It should have been the other way around. That last date belonged under his name. Not hers.
He wanted desperately for it to be him. He wanted it more than anything else in the world. It should have been his body waiting to be put in the ground. Not hers. God, not her. Sam and the kids would have survived without him. It would have hurt like a bastard for a hell of a long, long time, but she would have coped a lot better than him. She could have cared for those kids, his kids, their kids, far better than he knew he could. She was a strong woman. She'd survived a lot. She would have survived if it had have been him. She would have picked herself up and carried on. He took it more as a testament to her strong will and determination than an insult that she could have easily lived without him. He knew that she loved him. Relied on him to take care of them and make things right. And he always had. He'd always been the strong one. And now...
Now he felt weak.
I wish it was me, he thought. I wish I could go back and let Him take me instead of her. I would have laid down my life for her. She knew that. Everyone knew that.
It wasn't suppose to end like this. It wasn't their plan. They were suppose to go away in less than a month. The honeymoon they never had. They'd gotten married so quickly. She'd been five months pregnant and there'd been no time for a honeymoon. They'd been lucky to get Christmas Day and Boxing Day off. They were suppose to watch their children flourish and grow. Graduate high school. College. Hell, even the academy if that's what they wanted out of life. Get married and have kids of their own. Spoil their grandchildren. Celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. Die old and grey and warm in their bed.
Why couldn't things just go easily for once?
Why did she have to go like that? She didn't deserve that.
Why did she have to leave me?
And as he sat in that graveside chair, clutching a rose he'd later place on his wife's casket before it was lowered into the cold, dark earth, Flack made up his mind. As the priest gave a final blessing and those closest to her came up one by one, most weeping, to sy a quiet farewell, each placing a flower on top of the coffin, he knew what he had to do. It was his only choice.
Please forgive me, he thought, as he stood at her final resting place, his left hand on the cold wood lid, his wedding band sparkling in the sun. Please forgive me. I know you wouldn't want this, baby. But I have to do it. I have to be with you. I can't live without you. The kids have lots of people who love them and will take care of them. Way better than I could. I can't do it alone. I can't be in this world without you. I need to see you again and hold you and hear your voice and tell you I love you. And hear you say it back. I wanna hear you say Donnie again. Hell, even Donald. And I need you to understand why I need to do it. Why I have to do it.
It's because I love you, Samantha.
Tears spilled down his cheeks as he turned away. Someone stepped beside him and put their arm around his shoulders and pulled him close. Danny? Carmen? Gavin? No. They were all still sitting there, watching him, lost in their own grief. He looked over at the person to his right. White haired and nearly as tall as he, slightly wrinkled, eyes blue as his own.
"Dad?" he choked out, disbelieving.
"It's okay, Donnie." Sr said, leading his first born back to his seat. "I'm sorry, son. I'm sorry I didn't make it to the church in time. I'm sorry for a lot of things. But I'm here now."
"Dad?" he said again, a half sob escaping his lips.
"I know it hurts like hell, Donnie. And I'm sorry you have to go through this. I am so sorry. I know you loved her."
"Dad." It was a full sob this time.
Sr stopped and turned to his son.
"I can't..."
Flack couldn't finish. The grief overtook him and he felt himself being pulled into his father's strong, warm embrace. Where he sobbed like a child. Unabashedly, unashamed. "Oh God, Dad...I can't...I can't breathe...feels like I can't breathe..."
"I know." Sr stroked his son's hair softly. "It's going to be okay, Donnie. I promise you, son."
He squeezed his eyes shut. He knew what he had to do. The only thing that would take away the horrible, unbearable pain.
Donald Flack Jr would take his own gun and kill himself in less than 24 hours.
The crime lab and the precinct had kicked in the money to hire someone to cater the wake being held at Flack's house. By the time everyone arrived back from the cemetery and guests began showing up, table upon table of food and drink were set up in the backyard and in the dining room. Mrs Jenkins, an elderly neighbour whose recently deceased husband was FDNY and occasionally watched the children, had kept an eye on the four kids while everyone was gone and made sure things were properly set up and organized.
The turn out was huge. At least a hundred people, if not more, coming in and out. Some of them members of the general public who'd gotten a hold of the address or had been told by someone with loose lips within the NYPD. Uniforms and detectives and lab techs who were working and unable to attend the funeral but who wanted to offer their condolences.
Flack felt as if he was walking through some sort of dream. Hearing only muffled voices that seemed so far away. He was tired. Physically and emotionally. He needed sleep. But sleep in a permanent sense of the word. It was all he could think about as he shook hands and said very little. His father a constant presence by his side. His mother re-acquainting herself with her grandchildren that she hadn't seen since Mikayla was a sick, tiny two and a half pound newborn in the NICU at Women and Children's.
Speed avoided Carmen. Not because he wanted to. God, he wanted to be near her, with her, as much as possible. But she was running herself ragged with the kids, caring for them in that patient, motherly way that made him wonder how she would have been if their baby had have survived.
He drove all thoughts of that out of his mind. He couldn't think about that. It just hurt so bad even now.
He still loved her so much.
He needed some alone time. He couldn't deal with the way Carmen's ass hole she called a husband was watching him so intently. Rick knew full well that Speed couldn't take his eyes off of Carmen, that he was waiting for a moment he could seize to be alone with her. Speed wondered how much Rick actually knew of the past. And how in the hell she had ever ended up with someone like that in the first place.
He took his beer and left the backyard. Headed down the driveway and cut across the grass to get to the front porch. He craved quiet and there was no one else around. He needed time to sort out all the thoughts and emotions in his head. But as he mounted the front steps leading to the wide, spacious porch, he realized he wasn't alone. And that he couldn't turn around and leave out of good faith. He felt his heart break. And that was a difficult thing for someone like him to experience.
Six year old Daniel -or was it Mackenzie? No. Mackenzie was the the one with the longer hair, this was Daniel with the brush cut style going on- sitting cross legged on the front porch swing, his eyes downcast, holding a tattered t-shirt in one hand and an equally tattered and greying stuff animal in the other.
Daniel glanced up briefly as Speed climbed the stairs. He'd only met Uncle Tim that morning when he arrived at the house, but he liked him. Uncle Tim seemed funny. And he drove a motorcycle. A fast one, he had told Daniel and his brothers and had showed them pictures on his cell phone. Daniel liked motorcycles. They were cool. So there for, so was Uncle Tim.
"Hey little man." Speed greeted, pulling a lawn chair over and sitting down in front of the swing.
Truth was, for purely selfish reasons, he wanted a better look at the kid and wanted to make it as discreet as possible. All morning and afternoon he'd been trying to get a good look at him and his twin brother, stopping short of taking photos with his cell phone. Sam had said that Flack was the father. But he needed to see for himself. 'Cause there was something about the thickness and unruliness of Mackenzie's hair that didn't sit right with Speed. Sam had had rod straight hair. Flack's was so short it was hard to tell what it looked like longer. Speed had heard around fourteen years ago that Flack had had a lot of hair and that it was near black and thick and wavy.
But something about that kid's hair. And both their noses. Save for the freckles splattered across them, they did not have their mother's nose and certainly didn't have Flack's. And the more Speed looked, the more he wished he hadn't.
Jesus, Samantha, he thought, why didn't you tell me?
"How ya doin', Daniel?" he asked. Wanting the kid to look at him so he could see the eyes.
"Fine." he replied in a tiny voice.
"Why aren't you out back playing with your brothers?"
He shrugged.
"What'cha got there, little man? Can I see?"
Daniel hesitated, a brief look of panic on his face, then he nodded and reluctantly surrendered the first item. A white t-shirt with colorful child size hand prints all over it. And each of the children's names. Homemade.
"This was your mom's?" Speed asked.
Daniel nodded. "I made it. Last year. Daddy helped me. For mommy's day."
"She must have really liked this. She wore it a lot?"
"Yeah. As jammies lots of times."
"What else you got there?"
Daniel held up a raggedy, discolored cat missing an eye, the bow long faded and tattered. Speed was taking back to that day ten years ago when Sam was attacked at that house on the upper west side. Flack had given her that cat while she was in the hospital.
"It was mommy's." Daniel told him. "But when we were babies we got to sleep with it. Daddy gave it to her a long time ago."
"That was nice of her to let you guys sleep with that. Something that meant so much to her. She must have loved you guys a lot."
Daniel nodded. Sighed heavily. Stared blankly at his lap. "My mommy's dead." he said quietly.
Speed felt a lump form in his throat. Tears threatened. God, he had loved her. In his own way. Maybe not love. Love was too strong a word. That was reserved for only one person. But he had held a special place in his heart for her. "I know." he managed.
"Daddy's really sad." Daniel said. "He cries a lot."
"Well he loved your mommy very much. He's feeling sad. He misses her."
"I know. I miss her, too."
"I bet you do." Speed said with a sigh and a sip of his beer.
"She was suppose to take me to the zoo next week. With school. Now I can't go." Daniel said.
"I'm sure your dad will take ya."
"He can't. He has to work. That mean man said he has to or else."
"Well how about Uncle Danny? Or Auntie Carmen? Or even Uncle Adam and Auntie Gus?"
Daniel shook his head.
"What about Aunties Erica and Alexis? Or Uncle Sheldon?" Speed tried.
"Working. Everyone is working. Mommy wasn't working. And now she can't go to the zoo. She can't go ever again." tears threatened, his lower lip wobbled.
"Well, how about I stick around for a few extra days and I take you to the zoo." Speed offered.
Daniel looked up.
His eyes were dark brown.
Speed's heart pounded in his chest.
"You'll take me?" Daniel asked through his tears.
"Sure." Speed replied. Jesus, was it really possible? He was sitting across from his own son?
Daniel managed a smile. "Thank you."
"No problem. What's your favorite animal?"
"Uh..." Daniel wrinkled his eyes and nose as he thought about it.
Just like his mother, Speed thought sadly.
"Tigers?" Speed offered.
"No. Not tigers. It's a cat. I'm 'lergic to cats." Daniel told him.
Like Flack, Speed thought. Feeling a little relieved. Until he reminded himself a lot of people were allergic to cats.
"I like elephants." Daniel said. "And giraffes."
"Yeah? They're cool. I like those too."
"Did you know that they are six feet tall when they're born?" Daniel asked, laying the cat and t-shirt down beside him and placing his foot in his lap and untying and re-tying his right shoe over and over again as he spoke enthusiastically. "And that their tongue can be as long as 45 centimeters and even though their neck can be six to seven feet long they have the same number of vertebrae as humans?"
Speed did know all of that. He'd done a project in elemantary school years ago on giraffes and he'd memorized all the facts he could and like most information, he kept it stored back in his brain if he needed it. What amazed him was that a seven year old knew all that. And how as a child, Speed himself had been able to recite information off of the top of his head that astounded adults. This kid was smart. Almost too smart.
"How'd you know all that?" he asked, sipping his beer, needed to keep that knot in his throat at bay. It was the realization that there were too many similarities to ignore between him and this child. "You read that on the Internet?"
"No. I read it in a book. The encyclopedia." Daniel said, matter of factly. He re-tied his shoe a final time, looked at it and nodded his approval, then moved to the other shoe.
Jesus Christ, Speed thought. Seven year olds didn't know what that meant, let alone pronounce it properly. And there was something else that he couldn't get past. The obvious Obsessive Compulsive behaviour that this kid was showing. Just like...
Him.
That knot grew bigger and more agonizing.
"You're a smart kid." Speed said in praise.
"Mommy says I'm a genius. But to never get too full of myself."
"You're mommy was a very, very, very smart woman." Speed told him. "You like to read?"
Daniel nodded, concentrating on his shoe tying.
"What kind of books do you read?" Speed asked.
No response. The kid so engrossed on the task at hand.
"Daniel." he snapped his fingers in front of the kid's face to snap him out of the daze. "What kind of books do you like?"
"Lots of kinds. I like Harry Potter. Lord of the Rings stuff. The Hobbit."
"Your mom and your dad read those to you?"
"No. I can read them on my own. I know how to read, Uncle Tim. I read better than Kieran even."
"What about t.v.? You watch t.v.?"
"Sometimes. Not lots."
"What do you watch when you watch t.v.?" Speed asked.
Daniel shrugged. "Cartoons. Spider-man. Transformers. I like those. And I watch The Discovery Channel, too."
Speed nearly choked on his beer. "What do you watch on the Discovery Channel?"
"I don't know. Different stuff. Stuff about animals mostly. And stuff about operations. I want to be a doctor like Uncle Shelly."
It took Speed a minute to figure out that Doctor Shelly was Hawkes.
"You don't want to be a police man like your dad and your mom?"
"Maybe like mommy. Daddy says she's the smart kind of police man. A scientist. That she helped catch bad guys that way."
Speed nodded. "That is exactly what she did." he agreed.
"What do you do, Uncle Tim?" he asked curiously, turning his attention from his shoes to a piece of loose thread on the cuff of his navy blue cargo pants.
"I'm a scientist police man, too." he replied. Finding it surreal his best conversation in a long time was with a seven year old.
"Will you use your scientist stuff to catch the bad guy who did this to my mommy?" Daniel asked hopefully.
"Tell you what, I will do whatever I can to help your daddy and your Auntie Carmen and Uncle Adam and everyone else do just that. Okay?"
Daniel managed a smile that crinkled his eyes and his nose. "Okay." he agreed.
God, just like his mother, Speed thought, and felt a wave of crippling loss and sadness take over him. So many things that he should have said to her before she left his bed that morning seven and a half years ago. Apologies he should have made. Only he never got the chance. And now...
He glanced Daniel sitting there, so innocent and pure.
Why didn't you tell me, Samantha? Why didn't you just pick up that damn phone and tell me about him? About them. There was two. He had to remind himself of that. It wouldn't have brought him back to Miami or into her life. He didn't love her in that way. And he never would have taken those kids from the man they called daddy. But it would have been nice to know. Maybe send her money to feel like he was being responsible. But to find out like this? When she was gone and he couldn't ask her those questions. It didn't seem fair in the least
The screen door was pushed open abruptly, nearly colliding with the small window to the left of it and Carmen hurried out, looking frantic. Until she saw the source of that panic and laid her hand over her pounding chest.
"Daniel!" she cried. "I was worried sick about you! I thought you ran off!"
"He's fine." Speed assured her. "We're just having a chat. Getting to know each other."
Carmen didn't like the way he said that last part and her icy glare let him know.
"We're going to the zoo." Daniel announced happily.
"We are?" Carmen asked. "Uh...okay...I don't think you're daddy is up to that, buddy."
"No Auntie Carmen." Daniel corrected her with a slight impatient tone. "Just me and Uncle Tim."
"He means next week." Speed added. "School thing his mom was suppose to take him too. Kid needed someone to take him and I offered."
"Just like that?" Carmen asked, sounding skeptical.
Speed nodded and sipped his beer. "You're all too busy to do anything with him so..."
"Don't..." Carmen held up her hand for him to stop. "We work, Tim. Okay? I've taken almost a month off now. I can't..."
"Easy, Red. I wasn't blaming or accusing. You've done a lot. I know that. And you've done a great job with them. I'm proud of you."
She smiled. A little.
"We're going to see the elephants." Daniel told her. "And the giraffes." he slid off the swing and moved to the small table beside Speed. Laying the t-shirt and stuffed cat gingerly on the porch before reaching for a metal container under the table.
Speed looked at Carmen for an explanation to what the kid was doing.
"Rocks." Carmen explains. "Watch what he does."
Speed finished his beer and sat and watched as Daniel took off the lid, laid each rock out gingerly, then meticulously began arranging them by size, shape and color. It must have went on for fifteen minutes. And they just sat there and watched. Speed just shook his head. And wished he had another beer.
"Daniel," Carmen said, when the child finally stopped. "Why don't you go inside and get something to eat and drink. So I can talk to your Uncle Tim." she stressed the word Uncle. In case Speed had other ideas.
His face went nearly white. "I don't want to go inside." he said.
"Why not?" she asked.
"It's scary. All those people. All the black clothes. It scares me. Don't make me, Auntie Carmen."
"How about..." Speed took out his cell phone. "I call your dad on his cell and ask him to come and get you? Would that be less scary?"
Daniel nodded. "Daddy always makes things less scary." he said.
Speed dialled the number. "Yeah...Flack...I know this is weird considering you're in the back and I'm in the front of the house, but I've got your son here and he's afraid to go inside...all the people are freaking him out...okay...bye." he hung up. "Your dad is on the way." he assured Daniel.
"I'm hungry." Daniel said and rubbed his stomach.
"Your daddy will get you something to eat." Carmen told him. "Why don't you give me your stuff and..."
Daniel hit the panic button when he saw Carmen reach for the shirt and the cat. He scooped them up, clutching it to his chest. "It's mommy's!" he screamed. "Not yours!"
"I know..." Carmen said, clearly startled. "But..."
"Mommy's! You'll never be my mommy Auntie Carmen! Never!"
"Daniel, I'm not trying to be your mommy." she assured him.
"Yes! Yes you are! I don't want you to be my mommy! I want my mommy! Not you!"
Tears streamed down his pale cheeks and he jumped up and scurried to Speed and climbed up into his lap and curled his tiny arm's around Speed's neck and buried his face in his shoulder. Speed wasn't sure what to do. He'd never been around kids before and dealing with them was awkward. Especially when your nephew as actually your son. Carmen was looking at him with a let's see how you deal with this look on her face.
"It's okay." Speed spoke calmly, stroking Daniel's hair. "No one is going to take your mom's things or replace her. Auntie Carmen just thought it would be easier for you to eat if you let her take them. That's all. She didn't mean anything by it. So tell you what? Why don't you let your dad take them and hold them for you. 'Cause you don't want them getting wrecked, do you?"
Daniel sniffled. "No." he raised his head. "Will you hold them for me?" he asked. "Please?"
"Sure. If that's what you want. I'll keep an eye on them and you can come back when to me and get them. All right?"
"All right." he agreed.
Speed leaned over, kid in lap, and gently picked up the items.
Daniel kissed Speed's cheek. "Thank you." he said.
He swore his heart stopped at that kiss on the cheek. "No problem, buddy. I'll take good care of them. I promise. But you know, you should apologise to your Auntie Carmen. She loves you and your mom and she's just trying to help your dad and you kids out. You wanna say sorry?"
He nodded. "I'm sorry, Auntie Carmen."
"It's okay." she assured him. "I know you miss your mommy and that those things keep her close to you."
"Your mommy is always right here." Speed told the little boy, laying his hand on that tiny chest. "In your heart and you can always think about her. Whenever you want. And she loved you very much and she took care of you and your brothers and your sister."
Flack came up the front step, hands in his pockets, looking weary. And froze on the top step when he saw his son with Speed. Seeing the two of them so close together, the resemblance was striking. And painful. The two of them had an obvious connection. Daniel hadn't handed over that cat and that shirt since Sam died. Not even to his father.
It broke his heart. He didn't think it could possibly break anymore than it all ready was. It only cemented his decision. Once he was gone those kids would be okay. Two of them would still have their real father.
Carmen saw the hurt in his blue eyes, the darkness that came over his face. Her heart ached for him. "Don..." she said.
"Daddy!" Daniel exclaimed and reached up for him.
Flack scooped him up effortlessly. "What's wrong, buddy?" he asked. "All the people scare you?"
Daniel nodded and wrapped an arm around his father's neck and his legs around his torso. "All the noise, daddy." he said. "Bothers me."
"Sensory issues." Carmen explained to Speed. "Hearing. Lots of noise at once drives him crazy."
"That ever get better?" Speed asked.
"When he's older." Carmen replied.
"What causes it? Just happens?"
"All tied to the OCD." Flack said. "Guess it's handed down, huh?" he glared at his friend. "Wanna get something to eat, Daniel? You hungry?"
"Hungry." he agreed. "And thirsty."
"Come on, we'll go and get ya something." Flack headed down the steps carrying his son. "Thanks, guys." he said to Speed and Carmen.
"No problem." Carmen said. "If you need anything..."
"I won't." he assured her, a little too harshly.
Carmen sighed and sat down on the vacated swing.
"What's this about Daniel being OCD?" Speed asked.
"You didn't notice when we first got back that he was organizing his books in alphabetical order? And putting his toys smallest to largest on that shelf in his room? Or how he freaked on Mackenzie for messing the place up. His room is immaculate. He does it himself. No seven year old has a room that clean. Sometimes, at dinner, he even arranges his peas by size."
"I did wonder what was up when I got here this morning and he was sorting his crayons in primary and secondary colors. Has he always been like that?"
"As long as I can remember." Carmen sighed. "Sam managed to get him out of the excessive hand washing and teeth brushing. He was making his hands raw and his gums bleed. I didn't realize OCD was passed down."
"No scientifc proof." Speed said. "But I've heard of lots of heredidary cases."
"Did you love her Tim?" Carmen asked suddenly.
He sighed. "I cared for her deeply, Carmen. I'm not going to lie to you. But I didn't love her."
"You did enough to make love to her." Carmen pointed out.
"It happened once. One time, one night. And it wasn't making love. We had sex. I fucked her. Plain and simple. Did I enjoy it? Did I want her? Of course I did. And so did she. But guess what? She called me by her husband's name. Several times. She was thinking about Flack the entire time."
"She loved him."
"I know. She told me. And she cried herself to sleep afterwards and instantly regretted it. And so did I. I thought about you the entire time, Carmen. She thought about him and I thought about you. Not my proudest moment, I admit. Sleeping with my friend's wife. I never thought in a million years she'd get pregnant. Shoulda used a condom. We were drunk and... it was the last thing on my mind. And if I had have used one, those kids wouldn't be here. Its a catch twenty-two."
Carmen nodded.
"Why didn't she tell me? She told me that those kids were Flack's when I saw her pregnant at your wedding."
"They turned down the DNA test. They weren't ready to hear the answer. Flack stepped up to the plate and accepted them as his own. And what would you have done if she had have told you? Run back from Miami to play daddy?"
"I would never have done that." Speed assured her. "He takes great care of them. He loves them no matter what. Takes a big man to raise another man's kids. I admire him for that."
"And this bullshit, about the zoo..."
"Not bullshit." Speed argued. "I am taking him to the zoo."
"I thought you were only town a few days."
Speed shrugged. "I'll call Horatio, tell him I need more time to attend to things here. No big deal."
"Please promise me you won't say anything to either of those boys about you being their real dad." Carmen begged.
"Jesus Christ, Carmen. What kind of person do you think I am? I would never do that."
"He's an amazing father Tim." she said. "They're loved and they have a nice place to live and they go to a good school and have all these friends and Sam would want..." she choked up. "Sam would want them to..." she broke down, a hand over her face as she sobbed.
Speed reached across and laid his hand on her shoulder.
"Oh God...I miss her! I miss her, Tim! So much it hurts!"
She slinked off the swing and knelt in front of him between his legs, circling his waist with her arms as she cried into his lap. "I miss her...I can't believe she's gone...I can't...'
"It's okay, Carmen." he assured her. "I'm here. Cry, scream, rant and rave. I'm here."
"So stupid! She's stupid! She knew better! She knew not to go into a crime scene alone! How long has she been doing this? Long enough to know better! She wasn't some rookie CSI! She was the one they put the newbies with to train! Why was she so stupid?"
"It wasn't her fault, Carmen. You know that. How many times have we gone into a crime scene alone? This one time, something bad happened. Something really, really bad."
"I miss her! I'm trying so hard to take care of Don and the kids! I don't have time for my feelings! Or anyone who cares about them!"
"I care, Carmen. I care and I'm here. I wish I had been here all along."
She raised her head and looked at him. "So do I." she said.
He brushed her tears away with gentle fingertips. "God I love you." he said.
"I love you, Tim. I never stopped loving you. Everyday I prayed you come back to me."
"I'm back now, Carmen. And I'll stay if that's what you want."
"I do. I do want you to stay. With me. But things are complicated and..."
The sound of a car door opening and being slammed interrupted her sentence. She wiped her eyes and stood up, prepared to greet the newcomer.
"Oh. My. God." she breathed in disbelief, hand to her chest at the face coming towards them.
Speed stood up and turned to look. "Holy shit." he said.
One word escaped Carmen's lips. One name.
"Lindsay."
Thanks to all of y'all reading and reviewing. I realize this chap. probably blew a lot of you away and I may have lost some of you. But I felt this made for a compelling read and I hope y'all keep tuned in.