Disclaimer: Unsurprisingly, I own nothing. Naruto and Harry Potter belong to their respective creators.

Genzo was the first to see them. He drew a kunai, tied a tag to it and hurled it into a tree, then turned and sprinted towards the camp.

By the time he'd gotten there, Kakashi had kicked out the fire and was waiting in an ambush spot. Jiro was hanging from a large oak tree, an arrow nocked and five more in front of him. Drawing a kunai, Genzo found his own spot.

Kakashi looked at him, fingers moving swiftly. - How many? - he asked. - 2 - replied Genzo.

- Wizard or Shinobi? -

- Shinobi. -

- Rank? -

- S -

Kakashi stiffened. As carefully as possible, he signed the next question.

- Red Moon? -

- Yes. -

Kakashi thought for a moment. Then he pointed at his left eye. Genzo nodded. Kakashi closed his eyes. Them... Eyes open, he reached a decision.

- I'll engage them. You and Jiro leave. The mission takes priority -

Genzo nodded again. Signalling to Jiro, the two of them left the camp. Kakashi watched them leave. Guess I'll be joining you soon, Obito-kun. Hope you've kept a place for me.

Toshi was doing his best, but he couldn't trick them forever. Once past the wards, he had tried everything he could think of to buy time, travelling the wrong paths, taking all the obvious routes. He'd managed to go past every exposed point on the way, praying that the sentry would see him at one of them and warn the camp. He took diversionary paths, trying to find an opportunity to make a break for it, but whenever he'd found a good place, Kisame would smack him with the Samehada, draining him of chakra for a moment. He didn't know who was more terrifying, the slim Uchiha or the gian shark-man. Either way, he was royally screwed.

Finally he was out of options. Kisame was getting angry. He grabbed the smaller Leaf-nin and kicked him in the stomach. Toshi doubled over, winded. Kisame kneed him in the face, sending him sprawling backwards. Before he could hit the ground, the shark-man had grabbed him by the throat. "Take us to the fucking site, no more fucking messing around!! Understand?!" Couging and choking, Toshi struggled to speak. The fingers tightened around his throat. Black flecks rained in front of his eyes, a roaring sound was pounding his ears. His head was being battered like a drum. Kisame hurled him into a tree. Toshi collapsed. "Get up, you little fucker!" Slowly, Toshi regained his feet. "Did you understand?" Toshi nodded slowly.

They walked on, Toshi in the lead, Kisame and the Samehada close behind. Itachi drifted like a ghost some ten feet behind. Toshi's breathing was ragged, he felt nauseous and dizzy. Even so, he managed to notice the tag attached to the kunai. The team knew! He prayed they had something set up. He still had another few shots left in him.

They reached the camp a few moments later. Kakashi was waiting for them. Genzo and Jiro were nowhere to be seen. Toshi looked at his commander. He saw the imperceptible signal. Now! Drawing a kunai, he turned, looking for a shadow…

Kisame stopped him. He blocked the thrust, his hands snaking out over Toshi's arm. Grabbing it tightly, he snapped it. Toshi screamed. A knee hurtled into his groin with the force of an express train. Toshi hit the ground heavily. He struggled limply to get to his feet. The Samehada crashed into his head before he got halfway up. Toshi went down, out cold.

Itachi stepped forward. "Kakashi-sempai."

Kakashi grimaced. "What do you want?"

Itachi was expressionless. "Merely to remove a thorn from our side. We - "

A wave of arrows cut him off. Itachi spun away. In that instant, Kakashi disappeared. Kisame leapt forward with a howl of rage, the Samehada swinging viciously. "LEAF DISARM!" A thunderbolt strike sent the sword spinning through the air and crashing into a tree. Kisame was stunned. He spun round, enraged, straight into...

"INITIAL LOTUS!"

The kick crashed into his jaw, hurling him from his feet. He felt arms grip him like a vice, turning him in mid-air, then saw the ground rush towards him…

BOOM!

The forest floor exploded.

Genzo winced for a moment, then turned to check on his opponent. The crater was nearly two meters deep. It was also empty. Genzo grimaced, then back-flipped. The Samehada slashed through the empty space. "Remember me, shark-man?" Kisame grinned viciously. "How could I forget?" The Samehada swung again. Genzo rolled beneath it. "Lucky I've seen that taijutsu before," the missing-nin continued. "Remind me to thank that green freak of yours when I get the chance." He lunged forward, the great sword thrusting to his enemy's heart. Genzo spun away from it, his arm flashing up. A shuriken hurtled towards the shark-man. He knocked it aside with his blade, then caught the shadow in his left hand. "I heard you fought Gai. I heard he broke your ribs too." Kisame snarled in fury, his sword flashing at his foe's head. Genzo disappeared. "Right here, huh?" The kick was like a hammer, but Kisame ignored it. He used the impact to spin round, and crashed the hilt into Genzo's temple. Genzo flew sideways, crashing hard into a tree. A jet of water slammed into him, hardening into a pillar that pinned his shoulder to the wood. Genzo screamed. Kisame grinned viciously, stepping forward and raising his sword. "Good bye, leaf-man. See you in hell!" The sword swung down…

"We seem to have a stand-off."

The white-haired jounin didn't react to his enemy's words. The dagger at his throat made it difficult to frame a reply. Itachi seemed barely aware of the knife pressed against his groin. They stood there, neither one able to move for fear of retaliation. "To all intents and purposes, this is a dead heat," the Uchiha continued, "but the reality is very different from our perceptions…"

He vanished. Kakashi stumbled, then righted himself, turning and stabbing with the kunai. Itachi wasn't there. He felt the kunai press against his throat.

"A ninja must look beneath the underneath. Isn't that right, Kakashi-sempai?"

He didn't feel any movement. The world suddenly went black.

Jiro searched desperately for the targets. The explosion from Genzo's Lotus had made him lose sight of his enemies, and now he couldn't find them. The campsite was empty. They couldn't have disappeared! Concentrate!! He scanned the area again. Nothing. The clearing was empty. Something was definitely wrong…

He closed his eyes for a moment. Then, he looked again. The explosion had kicked up an enormous amount of soil and rock. But the clearing looked untouched…

Genjutsu!

The moment he realized it, he felt whisper of sound behind him. He spun round, dropping his bow and drawing a kunai. Nothing. He looked round desperately.

"Katon: Goukakyou no Jutsu!"

The fireball struck him full in the face. He staggered back, half blinded. A blow to the side, another to the head and a kick to the chest sent him flying into a tree. He hit the ground with a thud. Painfully, he looked up and saw…

Two swirling eyes.

A flock of ravens erupted into him, rending at his flesh and clawing at his bones. He screamed. A raven appeared above him, screaming harshly. It hurtled down towards his eyes.

He saw nothing more.

The victory was total. Kisame looked at the four barely conscious, bound ninjas staked out in the soil. He looked at his partner. "It would have been easier to kill them."

Uchiha Itachi didn't answer. He'd found Jiro's stock of eye medicine, and was busy applying it, frowning all the while. "Interesting. It works."

Kisame, looked at him flatly. "What do you expect? Those freaks need to take care of their eyes."

Itachi shook his head. "No, I mean it works on me. My vision is slightly better. A few more treatments, and I might even regain my sight fully."

Kisame was surprised. "Fully? You told me that your vision was fine!"

Only someone who spent a lot of time around the mass-murderer would have been able to spot it. Itachi was embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to worry you."

Kisame spat. "Too late for that. How bad is it?"

Itachi carried on applying the medicine. "Small print became difficult to read about two months ago. When I used Tsukuyomi on that wizard." Kisame frowned at that. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you," the Uchiha continued, "but I really didn't want you worrying. It would have done no good. You would have insisted on torturing every prisoner we took, and that would have taken too long."

Kisame pondered this. His partner did have a point. "Fine. Anything else you haven't told me? How's your health?"

Itachi didn't reply. Kisame looked annoyed. "Hey, I said how's your health? Is that wizard medicine working?"

Itachi gave an imperceptible nod.

"Guess those freaks are good for something."

Kisame began the laborious process of wrapping his sword. Itachi continued applying the eyedrops.

When they were done with their separate pursuits, Kisame grabbed the bag of food Toshi had taken from the village. "Hey, they have real meat! And fresh veg!! These leaf-kids eat well!" He laid out a few logs and some twigs. Then he looked at Itachi. His partner paid no attention. "Umm, would you mind?" Itachi sighed slightly. "Katon: Cooking Fire no Jutsu" he whispered. The logs caught light immediately. Kisame retrieved a pot from his prisoners' packs. Pouring some water in, he added the vegetables, a little salt and some herbs. He placed the pot on the fire. Then, he speared some strips of beef with a kunai, and set them to roast.

When it was ready, the two missing-nins settled down to eat. And though neither one would ever admit it, they both had the same thought.

This is nice…

Kakashi was the first to wake. As soon as he stirred, Kisame removed the peg that kept him pinned to the ground, and roughly pulled him to a sitting position. Kakashi stared. A small cooking fire was merrily burning, pot of stew boiling on top. The meat that Toshi had stolen from the village was roasting slowly on a makeshift grill. The only thing missing from the picture was a guitar, some marshmallows and a sing-along. He would never have believed it, but the two Akatsuki members were surprisingly domestic.

The musing lasted mere moments. Itachi walked over to him. "I hope you're ready to listen now, Kakashi-sempai."

Kakashi cast an eye over his injured companions. "I don't think I have much choice."

Itachi was expressionless, as usual. A little light-headedly, Kakashi wondered if the man ever smiled. Then he realized his captor was speaking.

"As I was saying earlier, we're here to remove a thorn from our side. Two thorns, to be precise. One is our former colleague, the other is the wizard he's friendly with."

Kakashi was surprised. "I thought you had a deal with the wizard?"

Itachi nodded. "We did. He broke it."

Kakashi frowned. "What do you care if he works with Orochimaru? Wizards aren't strong. He wouldn't add that much power to him."

Kisame stepped in. "It's not just about strength, scarecrow. It's also about smarts. You never heard that brains beat brawn?"

Itachi continued. "My partner has it right. Voldemort isn't strong, but his knowledge and skills are considerably vast. At the very least, he could assist Orochimaru's experiments with his knowledge of magic, at the worst…"

Kisame snarled. "Let's just say we wouldn't like to see a man like Orochimaru gain access to what that wizard has locked in his dirty little mind."

Kakashi looked confused. "So what do you want with us?"

Kisame laughed. "And you're supposed to be smart!"

Itachi frowned at him slightly. "Please forgive my partner. He tends to be a little brusque. We, temporarily, share the same goal. And numbers always help. If we can help you destroy the wizard, we achieve our objective. It makes sense for two groups seeking the same aim to work together."

Kakashi was stunned. "You're proposing a truce? The Fifth would never accept that!"

Kisame laughed again. "Big boobs is far away, scarecrow. What happens on a mission stays on a mission. We'll help you out here, boy. Unless you think you could do without our help…"

Kakashi considered this. If Tsunade ever found out… he shuddered at the thought. Still, they were right.

"Very well. I accept."

The Akatsuki pair smiled slightly. Kakashi stared at them.

"So what's the plan?"