Never Thought I'd Say I'm Sorry
"I win!" Cameron crowed, jumping up and down, knocking the pieces off the board in his excitement. "I win!"
"Yes you did." Elizabeth laughed, trying to avoid the flying Chutes and Ladders figures. "You beat me. Good job."
"Let's play again!" Cameron said breathless. "Again!"
"Cams, we've played three times." Elizabeth pointed out. And he had beaten her every time too. She had quit pretending to loose after the second game. Now it was just sad. "Why not something else?"
Cameron paused to think of it and jumped up, racing toward the steps to his room. "Memory! I'll get Memory!" He called as he sprinted up the stairs.
Chuckling to herself, Elizabeth busied herself in picking up the now forgotten board game. It was strange to be over at Lucky's house without Lucky being home, but with Lucky working and still not talking to Laura, someone had to watch Cameron. And since Cameron's classroom was just right down the hall, the simplest solution was for her to pick him up and stay with him until Lucky came home.
She wasn't going to allow herself to think about how domesticated the whole routine sounded. It hadn't been a conscious decision, or even a long discussion. In fact now that she thought about, there wasn't even a discussion per say. More like a realization that Cameron's after school was going to change as long as Lucky remained stubborn. Something had to be done and she had done it.
It wasn't that she didn't understand his reasons, or even share some of his feelings. But the truth was Elizabeth hadn't expected the cold shoulder to last this long. She had thought surely it would be over by New Years. Laura called almost every day and Lucky would calmly erase the messages. The past few days, Laura had been quiet. Instead of the usual multiple messages, there was one or two. Secretly Elizabeth feared Laura was giving up and was just going to accept Lucky's subtle warning. And now with Cameron's birthday fast approaching, she was afraid it was going to affect that little boy in ways for more damaging than not seeing his cousins as often as he used to.
A hesitant knock broke Elizabeth out of her musings. Glancing up to make sure Cameron wasn't going to come barreling down the stairs head first, she went to open the door.
"Hello Elizabeth." Laura Spencer stood nervously on the front porch, wringing her hands back and forth. "I thought that was your car I saw."
Elizabeth took a step back and blinked in shock. How was she supposed to handle this? "Yeah. I'm watching Cameron."
"Good. Good." Laura attempted to smile sincerely but the tension of the moment killed the effort. The few interactions she had with Lucky and Elizabeth since she found out about her newest grandchild had always been buffered by other people. Now with no one to run interference, as it were, she could clearly see how damaging her comments had been. "I'm sure that is good practice for you."
The silence between them grew. Laura shifted on her feet nervously and Elizabeth started to chew her bottom lip. Finally as the seconds threatened to stretch into minutes, Laura steeled her shoulders. "May I come in? I think we need to talk."
Lucky would probably kill her when he found out about it, but it couldn't hurt could it? Elizabeth stepped aside and gestured toward the living room. "Why not?"
Even though she knew Lucky wasn't home, she knew it was too early for him to be off of work, Laura still walked in carefully, nervous as if he could sense her mere presence in his home. She perched on the edge of the chair and watched as Elizabeth sunk into the couch. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine. Nothing to report just yet." They had a sonogram appointment scheduled at the end of the month. Currently they were still debating if they wanted to find out the sex of the baby, if it was possible to see. Lucky seemed to be of the opinion the baby would be stubborn but Elizabeth was convinced this child was a born ham.
"That's good. No news is generally good news. When did you move in?" Laura clutched at the edge of her coat. All around her she could see signs of Elizabeth's increased presence in her son's normally messy bachelor pad. Not that it was overt, and a person had to be a frequent visitor to notice the changes, but they were still there. Instead of Cameron's overflowing toy box, there were colorful containers. Normally his books were shoved haphazardly into the low bookshelf, but now they were lined up in neat rows.
The question threw Elizabeth and she shot Laura a confused look. "I didn't move in. I have a key. That's all." The key had been a recent occurrence. If she was taking care of Cameron she was going to need someway to get into the house, Lucky had argued with her. It was still somewhat of a shock to see it sitting there calmly on her key ring, intermixed with her own house key, car key, and classroom keys. There hadn't been any discussion of her moving in, although Elizabeth was starting to realize it was probably going to be a conversation soon. It was probably some plot on Lucky's part to argue that she should move in because Cameron was used to her being in the house more now. The sneaky bastard.
"But I thought…" Laura shook her head as she dismissed her line of questions. She hadn't yet fixed the mess she created from her last attempt at managing her son's love life. One step at a time, she warned herself. "That's not what I came to talk to you about."
"I didn't think so."
Laura paused to try to gather her thoughts. Elizabeth sat back and looked at her in silence. It was an odd experience, Laura realized, trying to apologize to your children. Especially for something in principle you feel you are right in. "I wanted to apologize to you for my behavior at the Christmas party. I shouldn't have said the things I said to you or my son. I made what was a difficult situation for you both worse."
Elizabeth twisted her hands together and blew out a breath. "You shouldn't have found out like that. We were going to tell you on Christmas but I thought we needed to tell Cameron before anyone else and I didn't want to ruin his Christmas if it went badly…."
Laura shook her head. "No. No. Don't apologize for that. I understand that perfectly well. No matter how I found out I shouldn't have reacted like that."
"You were surprised…"
"Yes but it was more than that." Laura blew out a sigh and finally looked Elizabeth in the eyes. "Lucky was born two months premature."
Seeing the other woman's silence, Laura continued. "You would never know to look at him, but he scared me for the first few months of his life. It didn't matter how many doctors told me differently, I always saw the tiny little baby in the incubator." She offered Elizabeth a watery smile. "I hope you don't have that image but I'm sure you will soon understand what I am saying."
Elizabeth felt a shiver rush through her. She hoped she never would have the same experience as the older woman sitting across from her.
"And from the first second of that very early arrival, he never listened to me. I pleaded with him to not come so early, and he came faster than the doctors were expecting. I would plead with him to not follow Patrick right up the tallest tree and he'd try to go faster and higher than him. Any stunt he'd get in his head, I would try to talk him out of it and he'd just go ahead with it."
"Stubborn." Elizabeth smiled softly.
"I blame his father for that. At any rate, Lucky and I have never agreed on the way he should live his life. And I love Cameron dearly but I can't help but think how his life would have been different if his parents had been married. Or if Lucky had just waited a few more years before he fathered a child. I've only ever wanted what is the best for my son and grandchildren." Laura emphasized the last word.
"I understand that. That's why we aren't getting married. We really haven't known each other that long. Before this we hadn't even discussed him giving me a key, much less moving or getting married. We were working on Cameron being used to me being around. The baby has sped up the timetable a bit, but that doesn't mean I want to rush into anything. Lucky and I can't consider just us on this one. Cameron and the baby count too and we have to make the best decisions for all four of us."
"Sounds like you two have talked about this a lot." She didn't want to admit it, but their reasons were certainly more responsible than she had been willing to give them credit for.
"Endlessly." Elizabeth laughed. "I've almost forgot what's its like to have more than one topic of conversation."
"Wait till the baby comes. You'll have nothing else to talk about for months." Laura advised with a laugh.
Lucky rolled his eyes as he tried to concentrate on the drive up his street. He knew he shouldn't be conducting business while driving, especially given the frustration one Norbert Getz drove him to. How a guy with the name of Norbert became one of the more successful managers in the music business was beyond Lucky. Unfortunately with Getz's success had come an enormous ego. This explained why Lucky was debating with the man on his cell phone instead of at the office. Getz had long ago declared himself too damn important for normal rules of business. And the man had a damn track record to back up that ego as well. If Lucky wasn't so excited about his newest signer, he would have hung up the phone hours ago.
"I don't know about the residuals rate you are offering Spencer." Getz drawled in his fake Southern good old boy accent. Lucky knew for a fact the man was from the dead center of Oregon and had only adopted the Southern drawl when he moved to Nashville in a failed bid to be a country singer. Some day, when he had more leverage than he did right now, Lucky swore to himself he would drop that little information nugget on Getz and just laugh at the fallout. It wasn't often Dillon and Lucas combined to give him some excellent information, but when they came through, they came through.
Lucky tried to keep the annoyance out of his voice as he turned into his own driveway and pulled into his two-car garage. "An unproven artist isn't going to get a better offer than the one I'm offering Getz."
"Still we have several offers on the table and of course I'll have to advise my client as to which one will provide the best opportunity to grow as an artist."
Of all the things in life he hated, a list that included Barney, people dressing their animals as people, the entire cast of The Hills and crappy knock off movies of Japanese horror movies, preening agent double talk drove Lucky right up the wall. Getz would advise his client to sign where he would have the most opportunity to make the most money. Artistic growth, Lucky's ass. "Of course. You do that." He barely restrained himself from slamming the car door shut.
"We'll be in touch I'm sure Spencer."
Lucky tried to not curse when he realized Getz had just in fact hung up on him. Cameron was home and the last thing he needed was his son getting in trouble for teaching the other kids in his class more adult expressions. "Oh I'll just count the minutes on that one." He muttered as he entered into laundry room.
Pausing just long enough to kick his shoes off without hitting the dryer, he made his way toward the living room where he could hear the distinct sounds of 101 Dalmatians playing on the TV. Cameron had probably driven Elizabeth crazy with wanting to re-watch the scene of all the puppies running down the stairs over and over again. The least he could do was give her just a few minutes' break.
The familiar blonde hair stopped him in his tracks. How had she gotten in here? What was she doing here? Where was Elizabeth and more importantly why hadn't she warned him about this? He hadn't planned to say anything. He didn't want to say anything to her. But when she turned her head to respond to something Cameron had just said, he couldn't help but speak. "Mom."
Laura looked over her shoulder to meet the cold anger in her son's eyes. She hadn't expected this to be easy and it looked as if Lucky had no intention of making it any easier on her. She reached for the remote and casually paused the movie. "Cameron, why don't you go hi to your father?"
"Daddy! Hi!" Cameron ran over with no extra encouragement. Smiling as Lucky picked him up, Cameron squeezed both his arms around Lucky's neck.
"Hey you." Ruffling Cameron's curls, Lucky kept the smile on his face by not looking at his mother. "You haven't run Elizabeth out of the house have you Little Monster?"
Cameron laughed and shook his head. "She taking a nap." He explained seriously. "The baby makes her tired."
Lucky trained the corner of his eye on his mother's reaction. "Well I'm sure you've been very quiet for her."
Cameron nodded and cocked his head to one side. "Daddy can I go swing?"
Putting Cameron down on his feet, Lucky shook his head. "It's too cold out. But why don't you go downstairs and go play with your trains?"
Cameron nodded enthusiastically and ran off for the basement steps. Waiting until his son was safely out of sight Lucky finally turned and faced his mother who had started to rise up off of the couch. "So nice of you to stop by. You can go now."
"Lucky." Laura tried to reach for him but he pulled back. She knew she had hurt him but seeing him willingly pull away from her touch cut her in a way she had never thought was possible. "Lucky we have to talk about this."
"What do we have to talk about Mom? About how I'm making a mistake again? Or I'm running from responsibility and happiness?" Lucky shook his head. "Gosh I can't wait to visit those topics again."
"Lucas Lorenzo Spencer, my behavior the other night was nothing I was proud of but I know I did not raise you to be rude when someone was trying to apologize to you. I am your mother and you will hear me out."
It didn't take much more than the strident tone of her voice to make Lucky feel like a rebuked three-year-old again. He sat down slowly in the chair but couldn't help the hurt whisper from escaping his lips. "Like you heard me out Mom?"
"Sweetie. I was surprised. And Elizabeth explained why you told Cameron first and I understand that but it doesn't mean I was any better prepared to hear the news."
Lucky looked at her in confusion. "But when we told Cameron, he said he overheard you saying you thought a baby was on the way. How can you suspect something and be shocked at the same time?"
"I thought it was possible when both Robin and Elizabeth were avoiding me. But if Cameron had heard everything, he also would have heard I was also thinking a wedding would come along with it."
"And here we go..." Lucky dropped back dramatically in his chair.
Laura held up her hand. "I know you have your reasons. I'll admit under some duress that they even make sense. However I still believe it is the best course here."
"Your apology skills need some work Mom."
She reached over and swatted him on his knee. "Just listen to me. I have only wanted what's best for you and Cameron. And this new baby. You know I adore Elizabeth. It's just everything between you two happened fast and I find it strange that of all things, you both choose this to slow down on."
"This is exactly why we did." Lucky straightened up and looked his mother in her deep blue eyes. "Mom, I was with Jess for four years and it took me that long to realize we were too different to make it work or we just didn't know how to do it. Maybe if we had slowed down some it would be a different story and Tony wouldn't hate me as much. I don't know what will happen with Elizabeth and me but I don't want to repeat the same mistakes."
"Jess isn't Elizabeth." Laura reminded him. "And it's taken a little while for me to see that."
Lucky smiled at his mother. "Good. Look I know you aren't thrilled with this whole idea we have going but we are happy and it's working. I'm not going to analyze why but it is. And I hope you'll be happy for us. Someday."
"I'm happy for you now." Laura insisted, reaching for his hand again.
Lucky let her take his hand this time. "I'm glad."