Sticking up and standing tall
A.N./ I want to send a big big big thank you to all of you who voted for me in the fan fiction awards. It's a great honor to win Best Tragic and come second in Best Flack/OC, Best Baby Epic and so many more. I can not thank all of you enough for your continued love for this story and your incredible support. There's much more to come and I hope you all hang in there!
Also, if you think this story is too long (you know who you are) then you don't have to keep reading it. It's only going to get longer.
"Throughout the passing years
As all the world seems ever changing
We share the smiles and tears
Of life, with love that's so far ranging
And after all is said and done
I'll be the one beside you
I'll be your love and loyal friend
Until the end, beside you."
-Beside You, Tal Bachman
Big thanks to my Montana for yet another great song and to Aphina for all her help.
Carmen arrived at Flack's apartment shortly after six thirty at night. So dark and dreary outside that it appeared to be much later than it actually was. The chilly temperatures suggesting fall was definitely around the corner. She paused briefly in the recessed front entrance to shake her umbrella vigorously and stomp the water off of her shoes. It had been raining solidly the entire day and the strong winds made it nearly impossible to keep an umbrella from turning inside out, which explained why there was more water on Carmen then the umbrella itself. Her hair was matted to her cheeks and forehead and she was soaked to the bone and looking forward to getting into some dry, warm clothes. And getting a steaming drink into her. Anything to ward off the chill that encased her body. A nasty virus was wiping out the members of the lab one by one. Everyone was complaining about body aches and a fever and sore throats and ear aches. The only one who seemed to escape it was Mac. And he was just worrying how in the hell he was going to manage with so many sick people around and no one to cover for them.
It was all Sam's fault. She started it. As happy and relieved as every one was to see her walk into the lab the morning after she was suppose to head for Arizona, she had brought with her one of the worst colds any one had ever seen. What started out as simple sneezing and coughing had escalated into her being ordered to stay home. By Flack, Mac and the doctor. Her ears were constantly plugged up and nearly made hearing impossible, she couldn't stop sneezing and was so congested she needed a humidifier to breathe properly in order to sleep, and she had a nasty sounding, rattling chest cough that required asthma inhalers at its worst. And a slight case of strep throat tossed in for good measure. Flack had moved himself to the couch to sleep so he wouldn't catch it and be off work as well, but ended up spending more time going in and out of the bedroom to check on her when the coughing was bad enough it kept him up. So when his double began showing signs that it was dangerously close to becoming a triple, and he'd expressed concerns on her being alone to Carmen, she did what any worried, pampering best friend would do.
Grab some Popsicles and some ice cream and orange juice and head on over. She was armed with a large container of Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey, a plastic bottle of juice, an assortment of Popsicles and an even bigger assortment of baby catalogues she'd spent scooping up at any store she passed within the last two days. Everything from Target and Babies R Us to the ultra luxe Petite Tresor, celebrity baby mecca. Way out of Sam and Flack's baby budget, but damn fun to look at. Who didn't covet a gold gilded pram like the one Donald Trump's son was given? Or a brass canopy crib like the one Suri Cruise slept in that cost nearly ten grand?
Carmen sat the umbrella on the carpeted floor alongside the door of apartment 702 and toed off her shoes before knocking noisily. She could hear water running in the kitchen and the rattling of plates in the sink, along with the stereo in the living room tuned in to the local pop-rock station. She had to knock a few times before the water eventually was turned off and she heard Sam's soft footsteps approaching the door, followed by the unlocking of the dead bolt.
"Hey." Sam greeted in a raspy voice as she held open the door. Looking tired and worn in a dress shirt of Flack's and loose fitting, faded sweats.
"Hey." Carmen returned as she stepped into the apartment, sympathy in her eyes as she regarded her friend. "How are you feeling?"
"All right. A bit better." Sam took Carmen's coat from her and placed it on a hanger, which she then hung on the door knob for the garment to attempt to dry. "Thanks for coming to keep me company."
"No problem. I brought goodies." Carmen held aloft the grocery bags.
Sam waved her into the kitchen. "Ignore the mess. Don's attempting to pack in between working crazy hours. He has more shit than any man ever should have. Mind you, I'll give him credit, he's very neat and tidy and he's throwing a lot away. But now, there's a massive hockey equipment bag in the middle of the living room floor and I've damn near broke my ankle tripping over it three times all ready."
"You need to be more careful. You've been extra clumsy lately."
"It's the baby," Sam reasoned, taking the bags from Carmen and unpacking the frozen stuff and putting it in the freezer. "The baby is sucking my brains out."
"Sam, trust me, it's not the baby. It's just the way you are."
Sam frowned. "Ha-ha. Very funny. You look like a drowned rat. I can get you something to wear if you'd make me a tea."
"Deal." Carmen agreed and moved to fill the kettle and plug it in.
Sam disappeared, sneezing and coughing as she went, then muttering curses and a couple "Goddamn men!" as she collided with boxes littering the living room and hallway floor.
Carmen grinned and set to making some honey lemon tea and some chicken noddle soup. She was in the midst of boiling a pot of water for the soup when she noticed a neatly posted memo on the side of the fridge. Blood test September 29/08 1:30 pm 3D ultrasound Oct. 13/08 2:30 pm. Carmen sighed. She had just gotten to the point where she'd all but forgotten there may be a problem and now here was a reminder that all was not perfect. She could only imagine how Sam and Flack were feeling. Putting on brave faces while consumed by worry.
Sam came back into the kitchen, carrying a pair of yoga pants, fresh socks and a baggy t-shirt. "Hope this is okay. It's a t-shirt of Don's. I have nothing clean and no desire to do laundry."
"No problem. You look terrible, Sam."
She coughed noisily. A painful sounding, rib rattling cough that went on for nearly a minute and had her reaching into one of the cupboards for her inhaler. She shook it vigorously, uncapped it and took three strong puffs.
"And you sound even worse. Flack wasn't kidding. What did the doctor say?"
"Just that I have a bad head cold, touch of bronchitis and a bit of strep throat. ."
"Well it sounds like damn pneumonia. Here..." Carmen handed her a mug of tea and shooed her in the direction of the table. "You sit and relax and I'll get changed and make you some soup. Okay?"
"Yes, mom." Sam said light heartedly and laughed when Carmen gave her a gentle shove towards the table.
"So what's this with these appointments?" Carmen called, as she changed in the living room.
"What appointments?" Sam asked, flipping through the Babies R Us book.
"Blood work. Ultrasound. On the fridge."
"The doctor called yesterday for us to re-schedule. Don made them. For his days off so he could come along."
"You're lucky, Sam." Carmen told her as she re-entered the kitchen, pulling her hair out of the neck of the t-shirt. "You've got a guy that is beside you every step of the way. Doesn't want to miss a thing. Some could give a shit less and let you just deal with it all yourself. Trust me, guys like Flack? They don't make them like that very much anymore." she sniffed the shirt. "Or that smell this good." she said with a smile.
"I would have gotten you a cleaner one, but he's kinda lazy on the laundry front lately too." Sam said with a grin. "He only had that on for a about an hour."
"No problems here. Smells great. And other than Tim with his OCD, Flack's probably the cleanest guy I've ever met."
"To the point of freakiness." Sam said with a grin. "He can be a little obsessive himself with some things."
"Like with you, you mean?" Carmen asked as she stepped to the stove to concentrate on the soup. "Wait, that's possessive. My bad."
"He can be." Sam admitted willingly, grabbing a pen off a stack of papers in the middle of the table and using it to circle various items that crossed her eye in the catalogue. "But no more than I can be clingy, insanely jealous fiancee."
"Why do you even say that word? You guys may as well all ready be married. I mean, he calls you his wife as it is."
"He says it sounds better than fiancee or significant other. He likes the sound of it."
"Making a wish list?" Carmen asked curiously, looking over at her friend eyeing the items in the catalogue intently and circling at least two things on each page.
"It's just stuff I like." Sam replied. "We probably don't even need half of it. Don wants to start buying stuff and I keep telling him it's too soon for that sort of thing. That we should at least wait a couple months so we don't have tons of things collecting dust. You know what he almost bought today? A replica of the score clock at Madison Square Gardens to use as a light in the baby's room. Can you believe that? If he thinks he's putting anything Rangers in my kid's room..."
"He's hung up on it being a boy, huh? What if it's a girl?"
"He doesn't care. He says it'll be a hockey fanatic regardless of gender." Sam sipped her tea. "Personally, I think he's nuts. But, who am I?"
"He's right into it. Like I said."
Sam snatched a kleenex from the box in the middle of the table and sneezed into it noisily. "He tries hard, Carmen. It's not easy for him. Balancing everything. All these long, insane hours and the planning for that massive raid he has coming up on one side, and me and my issues and baby stuff on the other. He's trying so hard and I hope he realizes how much I appreciate him. It's not like I tell him."
"Well," Carmen said, stirring the soup a final time before turning the burner off. "I'm sure you show him just fine."
Sam laughed. "Yeah, he likes the showing better than the telling."
"Of course he does. He's a man. How are you guys doing? With all this up in the air stuff with the baby?"
"We're okay. And we've come to some decisions. Agreements. After he talked to the doctor, we sat down and we talked openly and calmly. About how we feel and what we're expecting. Stuff like that."
"And?" Carmen grabbed two bowls from the rack by the sink and a ladle to spoon out the soup with. She filled each bowl and found some spoons and joined her friend at the table.
"We agreed to have the blood work re-done and the go for the specialised ultrasound. We have to meet with a periantologist afterwards. You know, a maternal/fetal medicine specialist. In case he found something that looks off on the ultrasound. But that's where we stop. Regardless of the outcome. No amnio, no invasive tests. Whatever happens, happens. If the baby has a problem, then that's God's will. We'll love him or her regardless."
"Wow." Carmen nodded, impressed. "Must have been a hell of a talk."
"It was. And we were calm and civil and no one raised their voice and nothing got thrown across the room so it was a positive. We needed to talk. Hear each other out. Now we have a better understanding of the situation and each other. He's a very sensitive man, Carmen. I know a lot of people think he's an asshole and don't get to see a gentler side to him, but it's there. He's got a big heart and he's very compassionate. I told him he should let more people see that side of him."
"What did he say?" Carmen asked.
"He called me crazy. Just like he always does." Sam replied with a heavy sigh.
"That bothers you?"
"I know he doesn't mean it in a mean way. He's only joking around. Like, we'll be talking or goofing around and I'll make some silly comment and he'll say you're crazy. That kind of thing. But it hurts. Because Zack used to say it all the time. Only he wasn't joking."
"Have you mentioned any of this to Flack? About how you're feeling and stuff? 'Cause you seem really down, Sam. I mean, apart from being sick."
"The doctor says I have higher than normal pregnancy hormone levels so my mood swings are more severe." she explained. "And no. I don't tell him. He doesn't want to hear that kind of stuff."
"Sam, he's going to be your husband. Of course he wants to hear it."
"Please. He doesn't want to hear me bitch and moan and whine about my girl problems. No man wants to hear stuff like that."
Carmen shook her head. "Who taught you all of this? Seriously."
"Just something I remember my mom telling me when I was little. No man has the tolerance for a whiny woman."
"Well first off, that's bullshit. Second, you don't have no ordinary man. He's there for you, Sam. Give him a chance."
Sam nodded and quietly sipped her tea. "I don't do that enough." she admitted. "And he deserves that."
Carmen didn't respond. She watched her friend as the two of them ate in companionable silence. It wasn't a common occurrence that Sam talked about personal things so easily and willingly. She was notorious for bottling things up. And Carmen could tell by the intense look on Sam's face, there was a lot more she needed and wanted, to say. So Carmen waited for when she was ready.
"And he's just been working a hell of a lot of hours lately." Sam suddenly said. "And I know from being on the job that the job is usually first and everything else is second. And I accept that. I really do."
"But sometimes it's annoying and hurts like hell." Carmen concluded.
"Exactly! Some times I want to come first for a change. And he tries, Carmen. He really does."
"I know. I see it myself. But if he keeps going like he is, he's going to burn himself out and then he won't be any use to you or the baby."
"I know. And I don't want that to happen and I've told him not to worry so much about me and the baby."
"Yeah, right. That's impossible for Flack and you know it."
Sam nodded and swirled her spoon through her soup. "I love him to death, Carmen. But sometimes...he's so goddamn overprotective. And I hate to sound like an ungrateful bitch saying that, because he's my everything and I don't know what I'd do without him, but he gets on me about everything! About what I'm eating and how he doesn't think I take good enough care of myself."
"Honestly, Sam, and you can smack me if you want, but I'm on Flack's side here. You don't get enough sleep even though the doctor told you to get better rest, you don't avoid stress and you're trying to do all the same tasks at work that you were doing before you ever got pregnant. You need to take it easy girl. Okay? 'Cause I don't want anything happening to you, or my godson or daughter that you're hauling around."
"I promise I'll try, Carmen. It's hard for me. Accepting I can't do things."
"It's not that you can't. It's just that that little baby in there needs you do not do them."
"True." Sam agreed and finished off her tea.
"You know what you need?" Carmen asked. "You need to go and sit in a steaming hot bubble bath and read a good book and just relax. A pamper mommy session. Or even light some candles and turn all the lights out and just sit in there."
Sam sighed contently at the thought. "That does sound nice." she said.
"Go. Take care of yourself for a change. Then put on your warmest pyjamas and get out here and we'll watch some t.v. and eat some Ben and Jerry's straight from the carton and pick out all the things we're gonna buy for little Flack in there. God, I just got the shivers thinking about there being another Flack in this world."
Sam laughed. "I said the same thing yesterday. We were sitting on the couch and he's reading that expectant father book and I just looked at him and said, God help me. Another you to put up with."
"And what did he say?"
"He said, at least it's not a full Ross."
Carmen laughed as well. "Leave it to Flack to have something like that to say."
"No kidding. He's a character."
"And you love everything about him." Carmen said with a smile.
She didn't deny it. Truth was, she couldn't. She'd rather have him, little flaws and quirks and things that drove her mad, then not have him at all.
She'd fallen asleep in the tub. When nearly forty five minutes had passed and there was no sound or movement coming from the bathroom, Carmen had gotten worried and rushed inside fearing the worst, only to find Sam, sunk low in the tub, now luke warm water to her chin, fast asleep. It had struck Carmen how pure and innocent and care free her friend looked when she was sleeping. Like a little girl. And wished for a moment Sam could only feel that way in her awake state. Then the thought passed and Carmen was shaking her awake and giving her shit and scolding her for nearly drowning herself in the bathtub.
Now they sat on the couch, Sam in a pair of cozy flannel pyjamas, eating ice cream straight out of the container and watching a repeat of The O.C. Carmen even commented how Sam and that Rachel Bilson who played Summer could pass for twin sisters.
"Don loves her." Sam said. "I think he's moved on from his Jennifer Aniston pervert thoughts to her. Did I tell you some guy on the street made a comment last week that Don looks like my older brother?"
"Now that brings a whole new meaning to the word incestuous." Carmen said, waving her spoon at her playfully. "Especially considering what you two get up to."
Sam giggled. "It's scandalous. He wasn't impressed by that comment. I told him it's all the grey hair. Makes him look older. Hot as hell, mind you. He said it's because I look like I'm fifteen so when we're together, people think he's some perverted old man."
"Well they have him pegged on the perverted part." Carmen concluded.
"Yes," Sam laughed. "They do."
"You hear from your folks at all?" Carmen asked curiously.
"I talked to my mom the night I decided not to go. She understood. She said she was proud of me for making that decision and that I did the right thing. My dad..." Sam sighed and helped herself to some ice cream. "He's another story. He's all but forbidden her to talk to me and she has to sneak calls and e-mails when he's not around. And he's been calling here and I've been ignoring him. I have to erase the messages before Don gets home so he doesn't freak."
"I'm sorry things turned out this way, Sam." Carmen said sincerely.
"So am I. But maybe with time, he'll come around. He was pissed when Adam decided to leave Phoenix and come back here for school. Swore up and down he'd never talk to him again. It didn't last long."
"You're dad is major protective."
"You think? Yet he took so easily to Zack. That I don't get. Mind you, Zack was a master at fooling people. Putting on this boy next door, everybodies his best friend show and then screwing you over. Yet Don...he's genuine with everything he says and does and my dad can't stand him. I don't get it, Carmen."
"Maybe your dad sees that you and Don are the real deal and he hates the idea of loosing you to him. Especially when you'll be living thousands of miles away. Means he can't protect you so easily."
"Maybe." Sam said with a sigh. "Who knows. But I want him to be in the baby's life. It's his first grandchild. I just want them to have a good relationship. And my mom says he wants that to, but he's too damn stubborn and proud to say it."
"Boy. Is it me or does your dad and Flack sound a lot alike?"
"Scary, huh? Could be why they don't get along. Too much the same. Do you know much about Tim's parents?"
"His parents are both deceased. He has an aunt in Syracuse he's close to that. That helped him on the road to recovery after he got shot. He'd like me to meet her considering she's the closest thing to parents he has."
"Good idea." Sam said. "You know, considering you guys are engaged and all."
"Not engaged." Carmen corrected. "Talking about it. We're engaged once I get that ring on my finger. Which, with Tim, could take another three years."
"You never know," Sam said with a sneeze. "Might be only three days or three months."
Carmen glanced over at he friend. Saw the sheepish, I've said to much look that came across Sam's face. "You know something!" she accused. "Tell me what you know."
"I know nothing." Sam said.
Carmen snatched the carton of ice cream out of her friend's lap, along with the spoon that was halfway to Sam's mouth. "You're a shit liar, Samantha Ross!" she informed her.
"What? Give me back my damn ice cream." Sam leaned forward to grab it, only to have Carmen lay a palm on her forehead to hold her back.
"Tell me what you know and I'll give it back." Carmen told her.
"I know nothing!" Sam insisted. "Stop holding Ben and Jerry hostage."
"You want a peaceful surrender? Tell me what you know."
"Come on! I am not a good negotiator! It's why ESU never let me talk to the bad guys during these situations."
"Samantha, I will rinse it all down the sink." Carmen threatened.
Sam's eyes narrowed. "You wouldn't."
"Oh I so would." Carmen made to get off the couch.
"Okay!" Sam caved in. "Okay! All I know is that Don went with Tim yesterday to buy the ring on his lunch break. That's all I know."
"Samantha..."
"It is! Don wouldn't tell me anything else! He wouldn't even tell me what it looked like! And I tried to get him to tell me but he wouldn't give in! Not even my special powers worked! And usually oral sex will get him to tell you whatever you want to know. Not even that worked!"
"And you know nothing else?"
"Nothing else. I swear. And Don said that Tim was..." realizing she'd said too much, Sam clamped a hand over her mouth.
"You holding out on me, Ross?"
"No! I swear that...look, all I was going to say was that Tim told Don he was going to wait until New Years Eve do ask but couldn't wait that long and that he was going to do it as soon as possible once he found a nice way to do it."
"Good girl." Carmen said and handed the ice cream and spoon back. "You are a loyal disciple, Sam."
"Please just act surprised. I promised Don I wouldn't say anything. And I don't want Tim thinking Don squealed everything."
"I promise he'll never know we had this conversation." Carmen assured her. "Now quit hogging the ice cream."
The cordless phone resting on the coffee table began to ring and Sam leaned forward to grab it and check call display. She frowned when she was UNKNOWN NAME, UNKNOWN NUMBER.
"Hello?" she answered cautiously.
"Samantha..." that deep commanding voice returned.
"Uh...hi...dad..." she squeaked out.
Carmen's eyes narrowed.
"I want an explanation young lady! A damn good one at that!"
"I already talked to mom about everything. Explained it to her. I am not leaving New York City. My whole life is here. And Don and this baby are my life."
"You're abandoning your family here for some guy you barely know that you just fell into bed with and got knocked up by?"
"That's not how it happened, dad. I didn't just fall into bed with him. I love him. He loves me. We're getting married and we're starting a family and you need to accept that."
"I do not need to accept a goddamn thing!" Sarge raged. "You need to accept that you're screwing up your entire life by getting mixed up with this boy!"
"He's not a boy!" Sam snapped. "He's a man. A damn good, honorable man who works hard and puts his ass and his life on the line every damn day and never asks for, or gets, credit for it! And he loves me and takes good care of me!"
"You listen to me, young lady..."
"No you listen to me! I love him! And I'm proud and honored to be marrying him and having his baby. And he makes me feel loved and safe and protected and there's no fucking way I'm leaving him! Ever!"
Carmen grabbed the phone from her friend's trembling hand and pointed to the spot on the couch beside her. "Sit down." she said.
"Carmen..."
"I said sit down!" she demanded.
Sam sank slowly onto the cushion.
"Hello?" Carmen asked into the phone. "Sarge?"
"Who is this?"he growled. "That Carmen girl who lied to me back when?"
"It is. And I'd do it again. Anything to protect Samantha. And if you cared about her or your unborn grandchild, you knock this shit off. She's under doctor's orders to avoid stress and you've been giving her nothing but."
"Don't talk to me...'
"And if you want a relationship with her or you want to see your grandchild, you'd back off and leave her alone and stop bad mouthing her husband while you're at it. Now I'm hanging up now and I'm going to take care of my best friend because that's what she needs. Not your immature, idiotic bullshit! Good night."
Carmen hung up and turned the ringer off on the phone and tossed it back onto the coffee table.
Sam was staring at her, wide eyed.
"Too much?" Carmen asked, helping herself to some ice cream. "Too little?"
"It was perfect. Thanks, Carmen."
"It's what friends do, sweetie. Take care of each other." she said with a smile. "Always."
Flack was dragging his feet by the time he unlocked the door and slipped into the sparsely lit apartment. The only light coming from the fluorescent fixture above the kitchen sink, and the soft blue glow cast from the television. It was close to eleven thirty and his aching back and stiff neck and shoulders were begging for relief in the form of an hour under the pounding, steaming shower. He'd all ready popped a percocet the moment he got behind the wheel and the pain was taking forever to dissipate. It was the thing he feared the most about taking prescription meds. That one day, the prescribed doze would cease to work and he'd be forced to take more than what was really necessary, or move onto something more powerful. He was scared to death of becoming a junkie. Of not being able to get through the day without a constant string of narcotics in his system. Suffering like that was a form of weakness. He didn't do weak. Perps could smell weakness from a mile away and take advantage of it.
But he was suffering. He admitted it to himself but no one else. Not even to Sam. He knew she saw the way he struggled most mornings to just get out of bed or even out of a chair, and while she didn't say anything or get on his ass about the pills anymore, he saw the concern in her eyes. Appreciated the way she'd snuggle up behind him at night and without speaking or him asking for it, massaging his throbbing muscles with her warm, tender hands. He'd promised her that for the sake of her and the baby, he'd take the pills and give himself some relief. He didn't want to practically crippled up in ten years, unable to kick around a soccer ball or go skating with his kids. He wanted to do things with them like his old man never did for him. Teach them things and form lasting, loving relationships with them. And he knew he couldn't do it in constant pain. So he reminded himself each and every time he swallowed one of them little white bastard pills that he was doing it for his family. Some days were worse than others. Damp, rainy days like the one he'd just survived through, were enough to have him on his knees begging for mercy.
Carmen's shoes and umbrella were by the door. Her coat still hanging on the knob, almost completely dried. Flack toed off his own shoes and hung both his suit jacket and trench coat in the hall closet and dropped his keys on the top of the microwave. He headed through the kitchen and out into the living room, finding Carmen, her legs stretched out, feet propped on the coffee table, watching a re-run of Everybody Loves Raymond, the volume up just loud enough to hear. Sam was out like a light, stretched out on her side, her feet resting in Carmen's lap and a flannel blanket pulled up to her chin.
"Sorry I'm so late." Flack said, voice quiet, eyes resting on his sleeping wife. He couldn't help but call her that. Because that's the way he looked at her. He didn't need a ring on his finger or piece of paper declaring it. He felt it.
"No worries." Carmen told him. "We had fun. Pigged out on ice cream and Popsicles and had some girl talk."
"So that's why my ears were burning earlier." he said with a grin and tousled Carmen's hair playfully.
"All good, I swear." she laughed.
"You didn't have to stay until the bitter end, Carmen."
"I wanted to." she told him. "Like I said, we had a good time. Nice to spend some time together outside of work."
"She been coughing a lot?"
"Not too bad. She had to use her puffer a couple times but the cold stuff she ate and the chicken noodle soup I made her seemed to do a number on the sore throat. Are you sure it's nothing more than bronchitis?"
"It's what the doctor said." Flack sighed and sank into the easy chair alongside the couch. "Ask me, sounds like damn TB."
"I was going for pneumonia, but yeah. It sounds damn awful."
"Not gone in a week, we're suppose to go for a chest x-ray. And don't look at me like that, yes, I know radiation is not good for the baby. But they gotta find out what's wrong with her."
"Well let's hope it's nothing too serious." Carmen sighed.
"It's always something more, Carmen. It's never simple with me and her." he leaned back in the chair and stretched out his long legs and closed his eyes. "Something or somebody always has to shit all over us."
"Oh God. What now?"
"Just damn Gerrard wanting to put me on straight nights."
"What? Why?"
"He thinks I'd be more productive. 'Cause I'm down two percent in my closed cases."
"Big fucking deal. Has it ever occurred to him that the cases lately have been grotesquely strange and bizarre and maybe you just don't have much to work with?"
"Of course not." Flack said. "It's all my fault. It usually is when it comes to that guy. So much like my old man it makes me sick."
"I take it work did not go well tonight." Carmen commented.
"Whatever." he said dismissively and waved it off. "Once I walk out the precinct doors, it's behind me. All that matters now is what's in front of me."
Carmen smiled.
"How long she been asleep for?"
"Couple of hours. And it's been a quiet, peaceful one. I'll leave it to you to get her into bed." Carmen gently lifted Sam's feet from her lap and slowly stood up, placing her friend's legs on the couch.
"You kidding? I should leave her there and take the bed myself. I've been riding the couch for two days now. She's tiny and fits. Not good when you're six two."
"Leave her on the couch and I beat your ass." Carmen told him.
"Wanna ride home?"
"It's late, Flack. You need rest. You look exhausted."
"I am. But you want a ride home? No way you're taking the subway at this time of night."
"I promised Tim I'd call him no matter what the time so he could come and get me." she pulled her cell phone from her purse resting on the ground and began dialling "You could do me a small favor though." she said as she waited for an answer.
"Sure."
"Wait with me in the lobby?"
"Afraid some of my crazy neighbours will assault you?" he teased, standing up and stretching until his back cracked.
"Nah. I just like having a big, tough good looking cop keep me company. There's some things I need to talk to you about."
"Bad things?" he asked, frowning.
"Just things." she replied.
"When a woman says she wants to talk, it's never good." Flack said.
She offered a re-assuring smile. "I promise I'll be gentle."
The thing that had bothered Flack the worst about what Carmen had to say to him, was that it was all entirely true. He hadn't noticed that Sam had been increasingly down in the dumps lately because he'd been so focused on work and the baby, forgetting that the mother needed some attention and care and concern too. He had attributed her moods to the elevated levels of pregnancy hormone the doctor had detected. He never stopped to think that it was more mental than it was physical. And the last thing he wanted was to have to send her back to a therapist. Not after she'd all ready come so far.
And the part about giving her a complex by calling her crazy? He certainly never meant it to hurt her in anyway. It had just been light, passing comments he made. He never meant to be disrespectful or mean to her. And if he had have known that that asshole Zack had used that word during many of his verbally abusive tirades, he never would have said it.
Now, as he crouched down in front of the couch and watched her sleep, he realized he had a lot of apologizing to do and questions to ask. And a lot of listening to do.
He reached out and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Samantha..." he said quietly, stroking his knuckles along her cheek. "Samantha...wake up..."
She mumbled and sighed and rolled onto her back. She didn't wake up.
"Samantha..." he repeated, louder this time, fully aware sometimes the woman was such a dead sleeper even a tornado couldn't wake her up. He ran a finger tip down the bridge of her nose. "Samantha..."
"What?" she murmured and rolled over onto her side once more. Facing him.
"I need you to wake up. Come on, Sammie baby. Open your eyes and wake up."
"No." she said and pouted dramatically.
"Can't sleep on the couch all night." he told her, and brushed her hair away from the side of her face and leaned into her to kiss her neck.
She sighed contently.
"Wake up." he said, pressing soft, warm kisses on her smooth, tender skin. Stopping just shy of the hallow of her throat.
"Don't stop." she told him. "In fact, go lower."
He grinned. "I'm being serious here."
"So am I." she told him and her eyes flickered open.
"Hey." he said simply.
"Hey. You just got in?"
"Little while ago. We need to have a little talk."
She yawned noisily. "Now?" she asked.
"Now."
She frowned. "About?"
"Why didn't you tell me about how you've been feeling? Why'd I have to hear it from Carmen?"
"It's just stupid stuff, Don. No big deal."
"It is a big deal when you're this down. And it's not stupid. Obviously means something if it gets you this upset."
"It's nothing." she assured him. "And besides, you don't want to hear me whining and moaning."
"Samantha, we may as well be married all ready. Husbands and wives talk about things. And I want you to feel like you can talk to me about anything. So I want you to tell me what's going on in your mind."
"It's nothing. Honest."
"Tell me." he said.
She sighed and closed her eyes briefly. "I'm tired of feeling like I'm second to your job sometimes. And I know you're trying really, really hard to balance everything, Don, and I love you for that, but for once I'd like to get through a meal without your phone ringing and you being called out and our paths only crossing for a few minutes each day because of separate shifts and you getting called in at the most inopportune times."
"I'm only trying to provide for you and the baby, Samantha. And you are first. The two of you are first. But I want to be able to give you guys everything and I need to work extra hours for that. And I am trying. I really am."
"I know." she said with a smile, laying her hand on the side of his face.
"And?" he pressed.
"I don't like it when you call me crazy." she told him.
"I'm sorry, Samantha. I didn't mean it. I never meant it to be mean and you should have told me that it bothered you and why. I didn't mean to hurt you."
"And all this stuff with my dad..."
"He'll come around eventually. He just needs time to accept everything."
"He called her tonight and got nasty." she admitted.
Flack frowned.
"Carmen handled it. She even hung up on him."
"I'm sorry he's being the way he is."
Sam shrugged. "Not your fault, Don. You didn't do anything wrong."
"Other than knocking up his baby you mean?"
"Only thing wrong with that is the timing. A few months from now and there wouldn't be a problem. And your brother kept calling all night. Five times in an hour. I told him to call you at work or on your cell."
"Well he didn't. What did he want?"
"Just that he needed to borrow some money and asked me if he could come over and borrow some from me."
"What did you say?"
"I told him you're mean and give me a small allowance each week and that I already spent it."
Flack grinned. "Good answer."
"He did however tell me I sounded cute. I told him he sounded cute too."
"You are never answering the phone again." Flack declared.
"Now we have a date next week."
"I realize you're joking, but that is so not funny."
Sam stuck her tongue out at him. "Is he? Cute?"
"No. He's not. He's an ass hole with booze troubles and heavy fists when it comes to his wife. So why would you want to be with him when you all ready have the cute, nice, gentle brother?" he trailed his fingertip along her nose.
"The sex may be better." she teased.
"Want me to take you in the bedroom and prove I'm the better man?" he asked.
She grinned. "Thought you didn't want to get sick."
"Hey, you're talking about my brother. My honor and my ego's been bruised."
"Better make it worth my while. You woke me up from a very nice dream." she said with a yawn. "Becks looked so fine tonight."
Flack snorted and untangled her from the blanket. "He's got nothin' up on me." he told her. "And as for my brother, for my whole family, actually, I'll take care of it." he stood up and leaned over the couch and lifted her up effortlessly, feeling only a slight tinge between his shoulders and in the small of her back.
"Never a doubt in my mind." she said and curled her arms around his neck and laid her head on his shoulder as he headed from the living room and down the hall towards the bedroom. "You gonna indulge me? A little more of what you were doing five minutes ago?" she asked hopefully.
He used his foot to knock open the bedroom door. "I'll indulge you a lot more than that." he promised, and kicked the door shut behind them.
Thanks to everyone reading and reviewing. Please keep it up!!
Today's plugs:
Aphina: Devine Intervention and Finding Kate (over in Miami land)
laplandgurl: A Magnet for Trouble
EvaFlack001: For Kate's Sake
hope4sall: Behind the Scenes