The Protector
Harry Potter and Final Fantasy VIII Crossover.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything! Not HP or Final Fantasy VIII. If I did Ginny (scary-obssession) and Rinoa (Whinny-perky-princess) would have died a death before they existed.
Summary: Squall meets a strange boy while out training, forming a connection with him. It's a friendship that will turn the tide of war and a love that changes the world. HPxSL. Lion Pair!
Note: Harry is the GF Fallen Mage. A non-elemental based offensive attack and provides protection for the caster(s). Known to KO enemies, he also grants the use of 3rd level magics to his user with the said user not having to have the magic in stock. Eg. Use Firaga even if user doesn't have it in their magic stock.
Warnings: Rinoa bashing, slightQuistisbashing, Boys on boys, kissing, making out. Maybe even (gasp!) .Power plays. My crazy ideas...
Pairings: HarryxSquall, SelphiexIrvine, ZellxLibrary Girl, slight Irvine-being-a-manwhore-and-flirting-with-Harry...
AN: Yes, for the gamers who are reading this, I am aware that I you can use GFs when you fight Ultimecia. But for the sake of my storyline (and a huge plot hole), Squall and team cannot.
Okay so here is how it works. I have posted how I wanted the story to end. This chapter. I will post another chapter: a continuation of the Epilogue (the next chapter) as I have had some people beg me for that ending. You can choose how you want it to end. But this is the original ending although I must admit, I kind of want the other ending too. You'll see what I mean.
Chapter 11:
The Epilogue.
~0~0~0~
Their return to Esthar was met with much celebration that Squall ignored. He walked straight past the well-wishers and celebration that broke out on the streets. At the Palace, Squall sped through the corridors, with the sole destination of their room. He needed to be alone. He couldn't stand the sight of anyone at the moment.
Quistis and the team followed sedately and subdued as they tried to wrap their heads around what just happened. They had defeated Sorceress Adel and Sorceress Ultimecia. They had traveled through time and returned. But now, the cost seemed too high.
Harry had, literally, vanished in front of their eyes. And Squall had shut down and closed off immediately. He had always been cold before but it seemed like his entire being was composed only of ice.
They knew what Harry had done. He had sacrificed himself to save Squall,
And Squall was now destroying himself and they couldn't do anything.
"Congratulations on your victory," a Palace guard saluted as group walked in, followed by the SeeD teams. Selphie flinched and visibly slumped. Irvine sighed and slipped a hand into hers.
Quistis, forever the diplomat nodded her head in thanks but replied, "It was not without sacrifice."
~0~0~0~
Harry faded and reappeared in the GF paradise. But he was still fading, albeit slower.
Shiva simply stood there, tears falling as she looked at Harry. The sorcerer was crying silently, the pain clear in his eyes. It was Siren's wail that pulled him from his thoughts as his head jerked upwards. Siren tried to hug in, but simply fell through him.
Harry swallowed.
"I warned you," Shiva said, her voice ice cold and head bowed.
"I had to save him," Harry replied plainly, "I'm not afraid to die."
"Truly?" a voice asked, tinged with curiosity. "You would rather die that live without the boy?"
Harry turned around, as did all the GFs present, to stare at the figure of light they knew as Magic.
"Someone once told me love was the greatest magic there is," Harry said with a light smirk. "But I do have one request." Harry swallowed before forcing the words past his lips.
"Harry?" Ifirit started, breaking the stunned silence that fell upon them, "Are you sure? I mean…"
Harry merely nodded with a sad smile, "I don't want him to suffer, so please use your judgment."
Magic just stared at him and nodded. She was sad that She would be losing one of her favourite toys to Her greedy sisters, Time and Fate. No, they wouldn't let him pass to the great beyond. They would do so much worse and She would never see him again regardless if he still held magic. She had lost in the rules of engagement and Harry was the final prize.
~0~0~0~
The days bled into weeks after the battle with Ultimecia. And for Squall, it all passes in a haze. Half of his heart was grieving, torn and battered. The other half was still in shock and denial. Harry couldn't be gone. Not after everything they had been through. Harry was too strong to simply disappear. He would be back, he had to come back. Those thoughts, those hopes, ran constantly through Squall's mind. He couldn't just give up hope on Harry. Because if he did, he knew he wouldn't be able to face the days to come.
Life was monotonous and dull while others were celebrating. And it was that part of Squall that knew if he could go back in time, he would have taken Harry and ran. He would have let the world burn if it meant that Harry would still be alive and by his side.
There was to be a celebration of the success of SeeD against the Sorceress. The World Government had finally succeeded, with the help of SeeD, to suppress and gain control of Galbadia bringing as end to the Galbadian War. And Balamb would celebrate the official ceremony of award for its Commander, the leader of the SeeD team whom defeated the Sorceress.
As far as the public knew, Adel had been controlling Edea and the cause behind the war. Edea, whom was now sporting an Odine Bracelet to suppress her power, would forever be under house arrest with a guard of SeeD watching her every move. With Adel dead, the threat had been taken care of. Rinoa had been quietly released as well. She too sported a Bracelet, and oddly enough, Zone had become her Knight. Seifer had been arrested and, although some of his actions were his own, a majority of the crimes he committed while he was being controlled by one of the Sorceresses. He was placed in the Garden and serving a large portion of detention and counseling. He and Rinoa were talking again, and he would become one of her Knights when he graduated from Balamb Garden.
Esthar had come out of their self-imposed exile from the world, and spread their new technology with open arms, for a price of course. The world was on a new revolution as the masses started trusting the power of a normal human.
The Assault Team, as it was put down in Garden History, split to the four corners of the world. Selphie and Irvine were dispatched to Trabia, choosing to take up command positions there. Quistis went to Galbadia Garden to restore it to its former Garden glory. Zell stayed at Balamb Garden, proving to be an interesting commander and instructor. Cid planned to have him take over from Squall when the Esthar Garden was finished construction and Squall was appointed its commander and headmaster. Although the Gardens would focus on more academia now that the sorceress threat was dealt with, there will always be SeeDs in training.
And Squall had retreated into himself. He spoke only when answering and buried himself in his work. It was like he lived in denial. If he worked enough, if he was tired enough then he would forget that Harry was not there. Everyone stood back and let him grieve, but kept a careful eye on him.
The Ultimecia was treated as an S-class mission. As leader of the mission, Squall had been paid quite handsomely, along with his salary as Commander. Initially Squall had refused the money, but then Edea had made an offer. She would sell him the land for the value of his mission earnings. The orphanage, the beach, the lighthouse and the flower field would be his.
The Garden declared Harry 'killed in action' and his name was added to the honorary list. To the public, he was dead. Few knew that his simply… faded.
Squall couldn't look in the mirror. He couldn't stand his room. Every turn in the Garden, every corner was plagued by a memory. He couldn't let go. He didn't want to let go, because letting go meant giving up hope that He wouldn't come back. And Squall could not live in such world.
"Come to the flower field. If you come, I will be waiting."
His scent lingered faintly, disappearing as time passed. And more often, as the days passed, when Squall stayed in his small dorm room, he wished desperately, 'Please don't let this disappear.' Because, when he closed his eyes, he could almost feel Harry sleeping next to him.
"Now who's the lazy one?"
Squall jerked upright wide awake as he search for the voice he had heard so clearly. The light voice tinged with the unique accented only he had.
"Harry?" Squall called quietly, his voice shaking as he searched for the familiar figure.
'Nothing. There is no one here. He's gone,' Squall swallowed as he closed his eyes.
"I'm right here, silly."
'Stop…'
"We are going to be late for class Squall!"
'Hyne, please stop…'
"Squall… I love you…"
'It hurts... please, Harry… it hurts…'
"I think I've always loved you.."
'Please come back…'
~0~0~0~
White. That was what Harry first saw as he opened his eyes. Plain white. His eyes stung. Hell, it felt like every cell of his body ached. The pure white blurred, and shifting focus. Harry could make out the faint lines on the white.
'Tiles?' Harry questioned as he tried to sit up. His body protested and a groan slipped past his lips. "Hyne…. What happened?... the time bridge?"
"Ah!" Harry turned around to inspect the room. White meant the clinic. If he was injured…"Squall? Squall, where are you? What happened?"
Green eyes caught sight of something that turned his blood cold. The room was indeed a hospital room. It had so much white it couldn't have been anything else. But the beds were not the foam mattress favoured by the Gardens. And… and…
"Why… are there candles in a hospital? There should be… electricity…" Harry knew the answer, and either way, it was a nightmare, "Hyne…no…"
"You're awake, Lord Potter!"
The nurse – no, mediwizard- bustled into the room with a huge smile on her face and looking flustered at the sight of him. Harry glanced down to himself dressed in white pajamas and nothing amiss.
"You had us worried, Lord Potter! You've been unconscious for almost a week! Apart from your injuries, you had a case of severe magical exhaustion and your heart stopped for a while there! Gave us a right fright you did! I mean, after you saved us, if anything happened..! Right! May I be the first to day thank you for defeating You-Know-Who!"
Harry felt the urge to throw up as his stomach plummeted. He lived centuries as a GF and when he died via Time Bridge, he returned to earth. He returned to his old life. The room started spinning, forcing Harry to lie back and close his eyes.
The tears started and wouldn't stop. He couldn't stop the tears that welled up and fell silently. He made no move to correct the mediwitch when she stammered apologies about his 'losses during the final battle'. Harry's heart only pounded in a dead beat as one thought repeated itself in his head, over and over again.
'Squall. I'll never see him again. He thinks I'm dead. Squall. Oh Gaie!'
Squall.
Squall.
Squall.
The awkward, stoic boy who stole his heart at first glance.
His best friend. Lover. Knight. Protector.
Soulmate…
"I'm going to be sick…."
~0~0~0~
It snuck up on him. Squall, who had been left with his rank and title of Commander, had chosen to accept back to back missions with SeeD. Anything was better than being haunted by the ghost of Harry while he was in Balamb Garden. Plus, the money earned from the missions was used to renovate was what used to be known as 'Edea's Orphanage'. It was now rather, in hushed whispers, as 'The Meeting Place.' The old group often met up there in-between missions, and now was livable and somewhat comfortable. It was recently started being known as a small inn for passing travelers after Squall hired an old fisherman from Fisherman's Horizon to run the inn when he was away on missions.
Keeping busy had kept Squall from obsessing over finding Harry. The thoughts of Harry were always in his mind, even though it was more often pushed to the back when on assignment. But keeping busy kept him together. Kept him sane as he desperately tried to hold on to the hope that Harry would come back. So when the Balamb SeeD Ball came around, Squall only looked at Cid in horror as the Headmaster handed him an invitation.
The paper was so thin and Squall stared in horror as his hands shook. He couldn't help himself. The last time he had been at the ball, Harry had been by his side. They had danced. Squall could see the happiness in those eyes and that damn laugh that lingered in the air. The photos remained, undeveloped, on his camera. Locked away with everything else of Harry's that was tangible and left behind.
"I know it's difficult but you have to attend," Cid said quietly as he looked on at the heartbroken look on the Commander's face, "but the new SeeDs deserve this night. And I daresay, the older SeeD would enjoy this night as well. As Commander it is your duty to be there; to honor those who are in attendance and those who cannot be there themselves."
Squall said nothing but crushed the piece of paper in his fist. He could say nothing else. He couldn't respond to Cid. He merely turned and walked towards the elevator.
"Squall," Cid called out. Squall stopped to listen but he refused to turn around. He knew what was coming. The same things that were said to him by everyone else. And every time he heard it, it just hurt more. "It's been months. You need to let go. He wouldn't have wanted you to hang on like this. It's been months."
Squall's back stiffened before he turned around slowly. "Has my performance in an official capacity been substandard in any way?"
Cid looked slightly startled before answering, "Of course not. Your work is, as always, been exemplary."
"Then my personal life has no influence on my working performance and you have no right in any capacity to interfere with my personal life. What I chose to do and whom I chose to love is none of your business unless it starts to interfere with my work and if I start to conduct myself in an unprofessional manner. As far as I can see, it has done neither. So please respect my personal decisions."
"It's not affecting your performance, but as a friend, we can see its affecting you. Squall, you're quieter, colder. You've been pushing people away since Harry died. The only time you leave your room is for food, training and missions."
Squall said nothing and sighed. "I will be in attendance at the Ball. If there is anything, I'll be at The Meeting Place. You can contact me on my com."
Cid could only sigh tiredly as he watched the young man walk away. He worried about him. Squall was dying on the inside. He was suffering because he couldn't let Harry go. Squall was trying to live in a memory and yet, everyone else seemed to be forgetting the black-haired SeeD slowly. Cid had thought it had been just because everyone had been busy with their new assignments and rebuilding efforts.
But it was a beyond strange. The old team, except Squall, was forgetting Harry at an exponential rate. Every time Cid checked in with them every couple of weeks, their memories of the sorcerer were vaguer and vaguer.
Irvine and Selphie could no longer recall Harry. They knew of him but not in a personal capacity. They couldn't recall meeting him, knowing him. It seemed that the shorter they knew him, the quicker they forgot.
And seeing as Cid was starting to forget, he knew that Squall was forgetting too. And it was pushing the Commander over the precarious edge he was tipping on. Cid was worried what Squall was going to do when he fell over that edge.
Harry had been the closest person to Squall. Harry's family filled the void left behind by Squall's family. A family, that Cid had been told, had reappeared with Laguna the President of Esthar. And Squall refused to reconnect with the man at all, even with the upcoming meetings with Esthar regarding with the new Esthar Garden.
And when Harry and Squall started dating, to the relief of everyone, Harry became Squall's world. Best friends, partners, SeeDs, lovers and finally becoming Harry's Knight. And at the worst time those two decided to fall in love. In the middle of what was turning out to be the second Sorceress War, those two crossed the line between friendship and love. Harry turning out to be a sorcerer, Squall leading the attack in to the time bridge.
And the moment Harry disappeared, Squall's world stopped. And the dark part of Cid's mind cursed Harry for disappearing. Harry would have left Squall in a better shape if he had died and left a body. A grave. A marker. It would have at least given Squall some sort of closure regarding Harry's 'death'. And with Harry merely gone, Squall was hanging onto the hope that Harry would return when with every passing day it seemed more likely he was dead.
Squall couldn't relax as he walked out the Garden. He couldn't get the words out his head. Everyone told him that he should move on. He should forget. He should live. And that was the problem.
Harry was his world. Squall didn't know how to live without Harry anymore. He didn't know how you move on when there was nothing to move on to. There was no forgetting Harry. Squall didn't want to forget Harry. That would be throwing away everything Harry meant to him. And that was something Squall could never do no matter how much it hurt.
Squall caught the late train and made his way to the house. It was after midnight when he finally got there. Squall let himself in with his key and locked the door behind him. The house had been practically rebuilt and extended with keeping with the stone house style. Originally Squall had built with a mind that it would be a meeting house for the old SeeD team, an extra base off record. A place where Harry could come home to.
Instead, the old team was spread out to literally the four corners of the world. They didn't meet up often due to work, missions or just not getting time off. The extra rooms were just gathering dust and it was Quistis that mentioned on a visit that it would be a good idea to make The Meeting Place into an inn. It would make enough money to run itself and they would always have a base. Who would think an Inn was a SeeD base?
But there was one room that was off limits when the Inn was opened. Squall made his way to the back of the building, towards his room. Their room. When Harry was declared dead, Cid released Harry's things to Squall. Squall had to pack up Harry's dorm room and watch some other SeeD move in. He had the things in storage until The Meeting Place had been completed. Harry's things had been moved there.
The room had been planned first when the building had been designed. A master suite en suit bathroom and spare room with a balcony that opened out in to the flower fields that Harry had loved. The balcony wrapped around the side of the building and had steps leading to the beach as well. And all of Harry's things spread out in the room. Weapons lined the walls, old posters and the constellation was on the ceiling above the bed.
Squall could only exhale when he entered the room. He dropped his bag by the door and made his way to the bed. He was too tired to process anything else. He just wanted to sleep and pretend that Harry was by his side.
~0~0~0~
Quistis paused slightly when she walked into the old office. When Cid Kramer called back the old team, Quistis thought it was because of the upcoming SeeD ball. They were all expected to be there and it was a memorial night as well. But looking at the faces in the office, there was one missing. There was no way Cid would call a meeting with Squall.
Selphie, Irvine, Zell and Cid were waiting on her. He saluted at Cid and smiled at the others. She took the free seat in front of the desk. The four looked at Cid for more information. Cid sighed as he looked at them.
"What do you remember about Harry Mage?"
The four glanced at each other. Selphie shifted… "He fought with us against the Sorceress."
Cid looked at Irvine next and the man frowned, "He was really gorgeous. Emerald eyes. Long hair."
"He disappeared after saving Squall. Sorcerer," Zell pitched in.
"One of the best students and SeeD to graduate from Balamb. Medic SeeD." Quistis said hesitantly.
Cid sighed. "You're forgetting Harry as well aren't you?"
Selphie burst into tears. Ï thought it was just me. I thought I was…"
Zell stood up abruptly, forcing the chair to fall over as he cursed. "What the hell is happening?!"
"GFs."Quistis said quietly. "I suspected something when I started forgetting the details of the mission that I had written down. I was forgetting the parts with Harry. But then I read about the one meeting we had. Do you recall what Harry said about how we can possess a GFs powers? How we didn't remember Matron?"
"The GFs take a part of our mind to hold their power. In specific, a piece of our memories," Irvine said slowly. "You think the GFs are making us forget Harry?"
"Why would they do that?" Selphie asked, her face still tear-stained.
"They wouldn't," Zell said slowly, "The GFs were like his family. To make us forget… They would only do that if Harry asked them to."
The office went dead silent.
"Our problem on hand is this," Cid said breaking the silence, "is what Squall is going to do when he realizes that he is forgetting Harry."
"Fuck."
~0~0~0~
Old man Denver gave Squall a small smile as he handed the Commander a cup of coffee. The Inn was filled up at the moment though none of the families were paying Squall any mind. The small eating area was packed with kids begging to go out to the beach.
"Thank you," Squall murmured. Denver nodded.
"It's been a while, Commander. Staying long?" Squall shrugged as he drank the coffee. Denver sighed before turning around.
"Commander," Denver added, "The marker was placed since the last time you were here. I made a pathway to the marker. You should go out and see it. It's exactly like you designed."
Squall merely paused but said nothing. Denver was called away by one of the guests. Squall merely finished his coffee. Silently he made his way back to his room and out back. The newly made pathway, made of pebbles, started by the end of the balcony. Squall silently walked the path towards the middle of the field. The same place Harry had retreated to when he had to tell Squall about his true past.
The area was cleared out, just leaving green grass with a stone marker in the middle. There was a family picnicking in the clearing already. Two children were running around in the field while the parents were sipping drinks.
Squall swallowed as he stared at the marker at the end of the clearing. He had it made on the off chance that Harry would come here and not find him. If he had been away on a mission, in Esthar or dead. A physical symbol that he had waited. Something to remember the green eyed man by.
The marker was a plaque simple enough. Grey slate with both the Griever and Magus symbols on either side of the message. Squall refused to call it an epithet. As far as he saw it, Harry was not dead.
"If you are lost, come here and I will find you.
At The Meeting Place.
I'm waiting Harry,
Love, your Knight."
"Are you the Commander?" someone asked behind him. It was the mother. Squall nothing. "I mean the inn keeper Mr Denvers told us that a SeeD commander owned the inn and it was actually a meeting place for a SeeD that when missing during a mission. That's what the plaque is for."
Squall nodded.
"I hope," the woman started to say quietly, "that you find him. It's romantic that you made this place your meeting to come back to, I just hope he comes back to you."
"Me too."
She left after that. She took her family away, murmuring that the commander probably wanted some time alone. Squall stayed, staring at the field. It was relatively quiet only the waves crashing on the beach to disturb the silence. The scent of the flowers in the slight breeze. Recently, he needed triggers to recall his memories of Harry. Some started of them had started to fade.
It was the little things. The way Harry smelt after a shower as they were just lying on the same bed. The smell of his hair. And details of them growing up. It was like memories slipping away but it was not natural. His memories were being taken away and Squall knew by who.
As there is no way that they would do something like that unless Harry asked them to. Squall pushed down the wave of emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. Because he knew. He knew that Harry would only ask something like that under one circumstance.
'It's time to end this. One way or another, I have to know,' Squall thought sadly as he gathered his power. Silently he summoned Shiva. She always responded to his call. Always.
Instead of the usual summoning, the motherly human figure of Shiva shimmered into existence next to him.
"You know." That was all she said. Squall stared at her, his storm grey eyes boring into her, forcing the Ice GF to look away.
"Explain Shiva."
Shiva sighed as she looked at the plaque. "It's beautiful. What you've done here; the flowers, the building, the plaque. He… he would have loved it."
Squall swallowed, before asking the question he had been avoiding for months, "So Harry is… dead?"
Shiva sighed yet again. "Harry didn't die, Squall. He faded from existence. He ceased to exist. You must understand Squall, none of us were actually born in the universe. So just as abruptly as he appeared, Harry disappeared. As far as we can assume, he's not coming back from where he was sent. He can't come back."
"No way of him coming back? Are you sure?" He was grasping at straws here but what did Shiva expect? She had just told him that Harry just may be alive. That he can't come back. Can't meaning that there may be a way.
"Trust we have tried," Shiva said humorlessly, "Even Magic tried. She's a possessive bitch but she can't touch Harry anymore. She said her sister has first claim on Harry now. He's alive but there is no coming back."
"But he's alive," Squall breathed out as he closed his eyes. "So why are you taking my memories?"
Shiva stayed silent. She regarded Squall, her eyes sad and guilty.
"He asked us. His last request to us was to take your memories of him. To make it like he was a dream you can't quite recall, so you would move on. He knew Squall, he knew you would spend your life waiting for him even if he was truly gone."
"You can't have agreed to this!" Squall shouted at her, eyes wide in horror as he mentally tried to recall ever moment, every memory of Harry. As if he could hide them away, keep them safe from the GFs. "My memories are ALL that I have left of him, Shiva!"
"It was his last request." Shiva enunciated each word slowly as it weighed heavy on her heart. "That was all he asked of us. He just wanted you to live! Not merely survive day to day like you are now. He loved you enough to give up everything!"
Shiva went silent for a moment before staring directly into Squall's eyes. This was the most important message she would ever deliver. Squall needed to understand this one thing. If he did then Harry's sacrifice was not meaningless. "Squall, in the end, Harry just wanted you to be happy again. Alone or with someone else. It didn't matter. He just wanted you safe and happy. That was his last wish and taking your memories was the only way he saw how. Forgetting him, you would move on. It would be slow but it would hurt. He wanted you to have a chance to live life to the fullest even with him gone. His very last thought was about you."
"And my every thought is about him," Squall sighed. Tiredly he rubbed his face, gloves still on. Looking at the black leather he recalled the few times in had taken them off deliberately and the feel of silk like skin under his fingertips. "Shiva, I am begging you. I am begging all of the GFs. Please, if I can't have him by my side at least let me have his memories to keep in my heart."
"Squall," Shiva sighed but was cut off but the brunette.
"No, Shiva, you need to listen to me. I'll 'more on'. I'll learning to live without him. But I cannot forget him. . I can't be happy without him. I'll learn to live, to breathe again. I know Harry wanted me to do that but I will never love anyone else like I love him. He's alive! Let me live with the hope that I'll meet him again. That I'll see him again, someday. Somewhere. I can't live without Harry, even if all I get are memories."
"Your memories will slowly return to you," came a voice from behind Squall. The commander turned around only to be met by Ifrit. "Too much at once will shock your brain but they will return."
Ifrit looked Squall straight in the eye, his gaze also spoke of sadness and guilt but also pride. "I knew that when Harry asked this of us we would never be able to actually pull it off. But we had to try for him. You loved him far you deeply; intensely for us to remove your memories without you noticing. That, and the fact that Harry was interwoven throughout your memories. It was difficult to differentiate and separate. If there ever was a human worth the love of a GF is was you."
Squall nodded and smiled sadly, "I often wondered what I had done to deserve him. How I didn't see how much he meant to me. I wish we had more time but I would never be able to say goodbye."
FlashBack
"And now, the rest of our lives could be right now. It could be these next 24 hours and it's not enough," Squall ended with a whisper. "If I… I'll regret not loving you more. If anything happens to you. If you… I won't live through it. I'll regret not loving you enough."
End Flashback
~0~0~0~
Six months had passed since Harry awoke to find himself back on Earth. In magical London to be precise. And his heart broke. It shattered when he realized that Squall was not there. Squall thought he was dead. And even after 6 months after consistently searching, Harry didn't have any way to get back to his knight's side.
Sometimes, he thought it all a dream. I fantasy he made up in his head while he was unconscious after the battle. That would have been easier. Easier to move one; find love and live life. But everything seemed so lackluster without Squall. Life was so… meaningless.
And all Harry had was a Griever pendant. And all Harry had was a Griever pendant. The silver chain strung around his neck during the unworldly feeling after they first made love to each other. Squall mouthed his vows against his skin as he hooked his keepsake around his neck. Harry could still feel the whispered words, 'so he can protect you when I cannot. Griever will watch over you, and perhaps, remind you that I'll always be waiting when I'm not by your side.'
Squall's last gift to him kept Harry sane. It fueled the fire to find a way back. Hermione and Ron worried about him. They said he had become obsessive and reclusive. They pulled the truth out of and then said he was mad. They didn't believe him. They couldn't believe him. Not when they sat by his bedside while he recovered. They admitted that the Healers had doubts and they had said Harry would never wake.
Harry had merely stared at them and replied, "I was happy. I love him. I need to get back to him. Even if it takes the rest of my life, I want just one more moment with him."
Hermione had begged him to go to therapy, to get over the obsession. Then Harry had pulled out the necklace. "Going back to him is all I have ever wanted. I don't care if you don't believe me. Don't help me then. But please, just don't try to stop me."
Hermione and Ron had looked at each other helplessly as they watched a shadow of their best friend scour books after books for a way to travel to another world, another dimension. They didn't know what to think. It didn't make sense but neither did a change in Harry's skill. His magical abilities were greater than ever and his hand to hand combat unmatched. The way he carried himself was like a seasoned soldier rather than a newly-graduated student of Hogwarts. And the fact that he turned down the Auror Corps but agreed to work with the Department of Mysteries if they gave him access to research and information about dimension travel.
It was like Harry Potter had disappeared and died and in his place stood Harry Mage. But Harry Mage could not exist. Not in Magical Britain.
Harry who refused to remove the necklace, no matter how interesting magical properties it seemed to have. It was the only the only tangible connection he had to Squall. And if he closed his eyes, clutching Griever in his palm against his heart, Harry could feel the faintest trace of their Sorcerer-Knight bond that stretched beyond worlds and dimensions. And he always whispered, akin to a prayer on his lips.
"To the time when we are together again. Until then, I will always love you."
~0~0~0~
Squall sighed as he sipped his glass. The music, the ball room, the SeeD uniform. Every damn thing reminded him of Harry. Of their own SeeD ball just before everything went to Hell in a hand basket. Squall may have abused his power as Commander and banned the band from playing that specific song. But that song has too many memories tied to it. Squall could vividly recall how Harry looked that night when he answered his room door. The way his new SeeD uniform hugged his body and the happiness that was practically danced in his eyes. Recalling the dance, Squall couldn't help but hate himself for not realizing just how in love with Harry he was. If he did, Squall would have had more time with Harry. Even if it was an hour more, a day more. It would have been more. But loving Harry would never be a regret. And it was that thought that brought Squall enough peace to smile sadly as he watched SeeDs, new and old, laugh and dance.
Squall had worn his SeeD uniform. Not the new one that was commission when he was promoted to Commander, but the one he wore the previous year. He looked like a just another SeeD soldier, save for the Commander stripes and medal hanging on his jacket. And the wide berth he was being given. He could hear the whispers form students and clients alike.
He could feel the worried gazes of Cid and Pres but he could not meet them. It hurt to watch Cid and Edea simply be together. A Sorceress, whose husband was not her knight, but oddly enough, Xu had been compatible. But still, Cid had kept his wife close after almost losing here. And Squall hated Cid, just a little, for still having her when he didn't have Harry. Pres, on the other hand, kept shooting Squall pity looks and seemed to genuinely want an answer as to why Harry didn't have a memorial ceremony. Squall didn't want to answer that they never laid Harry to rest and Cid had respected his wishes, especially after Squall had sent word that Harry was indeed alive and "and if you want confirmation just summon a GF". There was no reason to drag Harry's memory through the storm the media would create if they found out that Harry had been a Sorcerer.
So, Squall found himself, once again, standing in a familiar corner. Except he was alone this time. He watched life move around him. People laughing, chatting and dancing. Loving and finding love. Having hope about a future they had fought so hard for. A life they fought for the chance to live. And Squall found himself, oddly enough, not bitter but rather happy with that. It meant that ever sacrifice had, on some level, been worth it.
He could only chuckle quietly as a small commotion started by the buffet area. Not as big as the one Rinoa has caused the previous ball, but big enough to draw attention and Squall was not surprised. It seemed Selphie had brought a camera and was chasing the old team around with it. Irvine was trying to impress Quistis who just looked at the cowboy with amusement but waves at the camera.
Instead, Selphie laughed and pushed Irvine away and focused on Quistis. The blond grinned before walking towards Cid and Edea who had approached the group. The SeeDs saluted the Headmaster before Irvine stole the camera form Selphie.
Squall smiled. It was oddly warming how worried the old team had been over him. Even spread out like they were, they tried to stay in touch. They asked people to keep an eye on him. The doctor, Cid. Edea. Xu. Hell, even the girl who works in the library. It was like they created their own intelligence network and Squall was pretty sure that even Old Man Denvers was in on it. Somehow.
Now they were crowding Zell who was eating more hotdogs than even he could swallow. Squall smirked when as he watched the blond choke and the girls hit his back, hard. 'Ah! That's how she knows!' Squall thought as he watched the pigtailed girl who works in the library rush to Zell's side. 'I wonder how they met. Zell isn't exactly the reading type.'
"You should be over there," came Xu's voice by his side. Squall merely tilted his head to the side to look at her.
"No, not really," Squall said quietly with a small side, "but you should."
Xu snorted, "I doubt anything would happen to Edea while she is at a SeeD ball surrounded by what is now known as the most successful SeeD team in the history of SeeD."
Squall said nothing at that as he took another sip, finishing his glass. Xu regarded Squall quietly. The music changed to a slow song and only a few couples took to the dance floor, including Irvine pulling Selphie gently behind him.
"You seem, not better, but more at peace."
"I am."
"What changed?"
Squall stared at his empty glass as he thought about it. He had spent almost a month at The Meeting Place, sometimes alone with his thought and sometimes he spoke to the GFs. They had known Harry for centuries. In their own way, they had loved him too.
Squall had found his peace in losing Harry.
"I can't ever regret loving him, "Squall admitted, "I'm not sure how to live without him but Harry wanted that for me. Even if I have to live on my memories, at least I got to keep those."
Xu looked at him before shaking her head. "You realized what the GFs were doing?"
Squall snorted, "Of course. I spoke to Shiva. Everything is fine now." Squall paused for a moment before admitting, "What she said helped the most, I think."
Xu quirked her eyebrow. Squall said nothing as a waitress came by, taking his glass and offering a new one. Xu refused as hers was still full but Squall took two. As she walked away, Squall smiled slightly at the extra glass.
"Harry… he's alive. He didn't die. He may not be here, on this world but he's alive," Squall admitted as he looked up, the relief evident in his grey eyes. "I didn't kill the one person I loved more than life when he jumped into the time bridge to save me. He can't come back, not to this dimension. Not until one of us finds a way. But he's alive."
With that, Squall walked away, slipping into the empty balcony that over looked the ocean. The Garden had become mobile for the event. A mobile target was much more difficult to target than a stationary one. The sky was clear so the stars and the moon reflected off the black water under the Garden. It was hauntingly peaceful.
Placing the extra drink on the banister of the balcony, Squall raised his glass. If he closed his eyes, he could imagine Harry at his side, dressed in his SeeD uniform, glass in hand. The grey eyed Commander cold only murmur, letting the wind steal his words away from the prying eyes of others.
"To the time when we are together again. Until then, I will always love you."
~0~0~0~
Originally, this is where it ended. Though, due to very popular demand and my own need to sappy romance, I will be posting a little extra bit with a happy ending. Think of it like a spinoff epilogue.
So review of no happy ending! XD
Amira.
Ps. don't hate me. I'm practically sobbing here too.