Hellooo all, sorry for the late update, had a bunch of things to do – French GCSE speaking exam, hockey tournament etc etc, but here it is :) hope you enjoy.

go on, review, you know you want to... PLEEEAAASE. I would like to know what you all think :)

I was glad Jasper had returned to his family and school. When I went to the Cullen's house I could feel the happiness emanating from Esme.

I was also spending an increasing amount of time with Jasper. We would still go to the clearing often. He sometimes felt he needed to be away from his family, but we couldn't really talk at school. I was always more than happy to be there for him, but I didn't really want to admit why.

Tuesday evening, I was sitting on my favourite tree stump in out clearing. I didn't hear or see Jasper coming, but when I turned to my side he was there, sitting on the leafy ground.

Normally I would have been scared witless and jumped a foot, but I was getting used to people appearing out of nowhere.

I smiled at Jasper before redirecting my gaze. I found I could never look at him for long; his eyes held too much. Sometimes it was pain. It was a pain that tore me up, a pain that I could never comprehend. But sometimes it was the pure intensity as he stared back at me.

We sat in quietly, enjoying the companionable silence until Jasper spoke, his voice barely audible it was so low.

'You know what I miss the most?' He asked, looking up at me. I looked back at him, shaking my head, suddenly noticing how close he was to me. 'Touching the one you love. The feeling of closeness, the simplicity of skin touching skin.' His face was so close to mine now, I taste his sweet breath as it swept across my face.

The distance between my face and his decreased and my emotions raged.

He was a married man! His wife died over fifty years ago! He is still grieving her! It was over fifty years ago! I shouted inside my head. My eyes were focused on his lips then I looked up to his eyes. He was looking back, his eyes almost confused.

I decided on impulse with my current thought. His wife had died over fifty years ago. He was getting over her. At that moment I leant my head closer to his, lightly brushing my lips up against his. His hand went to my shoulders as he tried to push me away, but I could tell he wasn't really trying. I could be the other side of the clearing if he really wanted to get away from me.

The force on my shoulders wasn't the only thing that gave him away. Even though his body was stiff, his lips moulded against mine as he kissed me back. I put my arms around his neck, pulling my body closer to his, his icy skin sending a shiver down my spine.

At this he was suddenly out of my arms, and I could feel the wind filling the space he had been in as he disappeared. I opened my eyes to see him pacing the clearing across from me. I could just hear his voice.

'I love Alice. She was my wife. I will never stop loving her. Then why did I let that happen? I felt it coming. I enjoyed it! Why?' He seemed to be talking to himself, not sure what to make of what had happened. I got up and walked towards him and he suddenly looked up as if only just remembering my presence.

'Yes, you do love Alice. And yes, she was your wife, and just because you'll never stop loving her, doesn't mean you can't have any feelings for anyone else,' I said quietly, standing right in front of him now. 'Jasper, you can't spend your whole life thinking about Alice. You're allowed to move on.' I was inches from his chest now and I closed those inches, putting my hands in his. 'If you're going to live for eternity, you need someone to love for some of it.' I stopped and looked up at him. His gaze was going straight over my head into the forest.

'I know,' he said, wrapping his arms around my waist and I leaned my head against his chest, 'it's just hard.' I he said quietly, before resting his chin on top of my head.

We stood like that, holding each other until the light started to fade and Jasper stirred.

'C'mon, let's get you home.' He said, before unwrapping his arms from around me, taking my hand and leading out of the forest. I let him lead me, unsure how to feel. I wanted to know what he was thinking; did he like me or was it a spur of the moment sort of thing? As we neared the edge of the forest he spoke again.

'Let's not think about this,' he hesitated, 'you know, in front of Edward.' He finished his sentence, leaving me unsure of whether it was because he didn't like that I had kissed him or because he just didn't want others to know.

I sighed as we continued walking. The woods were close to my house and he walked me to my door.

'I'll see you tomorrow, Beth.' He leant forward and gently pressed his lips against mine. He moved away, but continued to look at me. I heard him sigh as he turned and disappeared into the darkness behind him. I stood frozen on my porch, emotions running through me, but my mind was blank. My mother's voice brought me round.

'Beth? Is that you? Where have you been? It's dark! I didn't hear a car! Did you walk?' Her voice was shrill from behind the front door. I opened the door and headed in to face my always-angry-about-something mother.

I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling. All I could see was Jasper's face as confused thoughts shot through me. I had no idea how he felt or thought. His or Edward's gift would come in handy right now. I hated that everyone knew how I felt but I couldn't have that pleasure.

I figured Jasper was as confused as I was. He was the one grieving over his dead wife. He was the one struggling not to kill me. I had no such problems; the only problem with control that I had was controlling myself not to leap up and attack him with my kisses. I rolled to my side, drifting into an uneasy, dreamless sleep.