Coming Clean

THIS IS RATED M FOR SMUT FOLKS. IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE, I SUGGEST SKIPPING THE FIRST SECTION AND MOVING STRAIGHT TO THE SECOND. FOR ALL OF YOU WHO AREN'T, ENJOY

"I like your pants around your feet
I like the dirt that's on your knees
I like the way that you still say please
when you're looking up at me
You're like my favorite damn disease."
-Figured You Out, Nickelback

A/N: Big thanks to hope4sall for you help with 'the talk' and for lending me some things. Much apprectiated.

Five days may as well have been five decades. There'd been a time when Flack could go months without getting off with a woman and not be suffering at the end of it. Now just shy of a week was enough to drive him completely insane. In just the last six months alone he'd gotten more sex than he'd had in his entire thirty years. Not that that was a complaint. In fact, every time they were together was so incredible and so different than the last that he only wished they could have it more often. Hard not to be turned on at the drop of your hat when your future wife was stunningly beautiful and vivacious and was walking sex from head to toe one minute and so naïve and innocent and pure the next. The two extremes in personalities were enough to blow his mind. She also knew how to play it, and him, to get exactly what she wanted, when she wanted. And how she wanted.

Even the smallest kiss and the tiniest sultry look were enough to drive him insane. He'd never been with a woman that responsive and uninhibited. So willing and eager to try just about anything. Flack had never known anyone like her. Or been with anyone like her. And, as they stood in the elevator of his apartment building, groping each other through their clothes and kissing and necking like horny high schoolers, he was struck by the sudden thought that his life had been on hold until he met her. And the moment he met Samantha Ross and his life started on a completely different path, he had been on one hell of a wild ride.

And he wouldn't change a damn thing about it. Or her. She wasn't perfect. But then neither was he. And that was okay. They never put pressure on each other to perfect. Less flawed, maybe, but never perfect. Life would have been way too damn boring if they never made mistakes and got along all the time.

The apartment door hadn't even been locked behind them before they were on each other again. Hands rapidly divesting clothes, letting them tumble to the floor in small heaps. Shoes were kicked off impatiently. His badge and holster were tossed onto the table by the door.

His plan on the drive home had been to take the majority of the two hours, take her into the bedroom and make long, sweet and intense love to her. Take his time. Explore every possible inch of her. Pleasure her as much as possible. Samantha however, obviously had something else in mind as her hands slid down his bare chest and stomach and quickly went to work on his belt buckle.

"And you always say I'm the impatient one." Flack said teasingly.

"I may be a massively hormonal pregnant woman, but I also happen to be a massively horny one too." she informed him.

"Thank God." he said and combed his fingers of his good hand through her hair, tipping her head back and to the side and placing light, feathery kisses along her smooth, slender neck. "I was so worried you'd be the type that wouldn't want me touching you ever again."

"Never going to happen." she declared, then sighed when his lips skimmed along her sensitive collarbone. Her hands continued working on his belt, getting it unclasped and then snapping open the button on his pants.

"Maybe we should go in the bedroom." he suggested, pulling back to look at her, even though what he was feeling below the waist was far more persuasive than his brain at that point. On one hand he wanted to be a gentleman and take things slow and easy, on the other hand he just wanted to turn her around and make her beg for it.

"Why bother?" she asked, sliding down his zipper and slipping her hand inside. She grinned up at him as she fondled his erection. "See…..you don't want to waste time any more than I do."

"I was just thinking that…"

"When are you the one to do the thinking?" she asked playfully, yanking both his boxers and his pants over his ass and hips and letting them drop to the floor. She smiled impishly up at him and resume her handy work with his throbbing erection. Her hands were warm and soft and were in danger of ending things before they even really started.

"I just thought that because it's been a few days and I'm off for a couple hours that we can do things properly. Enjoy it."

"There's a whole life time to do things properly, Don." she told him. "Right now, let's just cut to the chase and make each other happy. Can we do that?"

"But don't you…."

"No. Whatever it is, no. I just want you and I do have a straight to the point, fuck me hard and fast in the middle of the kitchen moment. Can we do that? Can you do that?"

"Depends." he said with a grin.

She frowned. "On what?"

"Do I get to be in charge? 'Cause the day I've had so far, I need to be in charge."

She smiled. "You can go all cop of me if you want." she said.

Every time she said those words to him, something inside of Flack just snapped. There was something so insanely sexy about those words coming out of her mouth and the sincerity that accompanied them. The full out trust that she had in him and the security that he'd never do anything to hurt her. Which was a far cry from how she'd made him feel four nights ago. And he realized that that trust she had in him was one of the things that made him love her as much as he did. Because no one had ever looked at him the way she did.

He reached out and laid his hand alongside her face. "I love you." he said, suddenly dead serious.

She smiled and kissed his palm. "I love you, too. And I know things haven't been easy lately."

"No one ever said life was easy. And if it was, what kind of fun would that be?"

"None. At least we keep things interesting. You wouldn't know what to do with yourself, Don if I wasn't here. Especially when you hurt your favorite hand."

He smirked. "What the fuck is it with women and the hand joke?"

"All men do it." Sam declared. "And if they say they're don't, they're lying. So don't even try standing there and denying you haven't in five days."

"I broke my favorite hand. How could I?" he said with a grin.

"You must be dying then. I guess we'll just have to do something about that, won't we?" she tightened her grip around his cock and moved her hand up and down at a slow, steady pace that had him swallowing noisily and breaking out in a head to toe sweat. "You are so easy to please." she said with a devilish smile.

Her hands were working magic. He couldn't take much more. He kicked the pants and boxers away and grabbed her by the hip with his good hand and yanked her half naked body against his. The lace of her simple white boy shorts brushed against him, the friction against his aching erection making him shiver and adding to his arousal. He kissed her, his tongue quickly pushing into the warm confines of her mouth, his hand slipping down to her ass and holding her tight against him. The tips of her fingers scraped along his sides and around to his back, travelling along his spine. Then down again, her nails digging into his ass. Hard enough to break the skin. He moaned at the mix of pleasure and pain and when he felt her teeth graze against his bottom lip, he broke the kiss.

"You and your biting." he complained "You're vicious."

"Then stop wasting fucking time." she shot back.

"You're very impatient." he told her and slipped his hand up her back, attempting to unfasten the clasp on her bra. With little success. "You're gonna have to help me out here." he said.

"I hope this taught you a lesson." she huffed dramatically, reaching around her body to snap open the bra and quickly discarding it.

"Yeah….instead of punching a wall, I should just shoot something instead."

He bent down and grabbed his pants. Yanked his wallet out of the back pocket and opened it up, pulling out the condom package he'd been carrying around in there for nearly a week in case they said fuck the lab results and get busy wherever. There was something freakishly strange about having to wear a condom to make love to your own wife that was already pregnant. And for about the hundredth time he cursed that damn junkie for making his arm an afternoon snack.

"That was not the comment I was looking for." she said and pulled down her panties and stepped out of them. She dropped them onto the pile of clothes on the floor beside them.

The bump in her stomach was getting bigger. And the sight of it, and the thought of it being his child inside of her, added to his arousal. Her body was transforming before his eyes every day. Her hips and her breasts were becoming fuller and even more beautiful than before. And he'd never thought her body could be better than it all ready was. Her hair and her face were even changing. Her hair was darker and thicker and her face was chubbier and seemed to possess a glow he'd never seen before.

"You're beautiful." he told her, running his hand along her stomach and over that bump and then slid it lower, his fingertips brushing against the soft curls between her legs that were already damp with moisture. He slipped his hand between her thighs and stroked her lips gently before finding her clit and rubbing it softly.

"You make me feel beautiful." she told him. She snatched the condom package from his hand and tore it open. "I think this would be my job." She said and rolled the condom down onto him, then tossed the wrapper onto the table behind her. She turned back to him and ran her hands from his shoulders, down his chest and onto his stomach.

"Tell me what you want me to do." he said, looking deep into this golden eyes.

"You have to ask that?" "I just don't want to hurt you."

"You won't." she assured him. "You know what I like and its up to you to make sure I get what I want. And right now, I want you to quit wasting time and just fuck me." she reached between them and squeezed his cock. "And I want you to fuck me hard and fast and make me scream your name. And if you can't do it for me, then I'll just do it myself in the privacy of our bedroom ."

"That I'd actually like to sit back and watch." he said and kissed her, his hand tight on her hip as he steered her backwards to the closest counter. Part of him felt like an asshole for not being more insistent on doing things properly. But her dirty mouth and the feel of her naked body against his and her hands on his erection were making it too hard to think rationally at the moment.

"I don't do things like that." she said, wincing as his fingers dug into the soft flesh of her hip and the small of her back connected with the edge of the counter top. Definite bruises, she thought. "I'm a good girl."

"Bullshit." Flack said. "I know you do it. I'm not stupid. I just want to be included one of these days. Thought of you doing that to yourself, thinking about me while you do it, that's fucking hot."

"Who said I think about you? You're delusional. I think about Carmen."

"Don't say things like that. That just gets me going even more. That's like every guys ultimate wet dream. We should call her and invite her to join in and I can watch you two…"

"I don't think so. Thought you said you don't share?"

"I don't." he informed her and effortlessly lifted her up onto the counter with one hand. "Besides, you're all I can handle."

"I am way too much even for you." she declared.

"Think so?" he asked, yanking her forward so she was perched on the edge of the counter and then spreading her legs. "Something tells me I'm too much for you." he said and rubbed the head of his cock against her slick opening. "Admit it, you can't take it half the time."

"You wish." she snorted. "You're not doing much of anything right now. Maybe if you were doing something I'd…"

He grabbed her by the ass hard enough to make her cry out and thrust into her unexpectedly, burying himself to the hilt and making her yelp even louder, her finger nails digging into his shoulders. It stung but felt so good at the same time.

"Is that enough of something?" he asked through gritted teeth as he moved deep and hard inside of her.

She answered him by leaning forward and kissing him, drawing his bottom lip between her teeth and applying slight pressure, then drawing back slightly to lick along his lip.

He captured her lips in a hungry, greedy kiss. Moved his hand from her ass to the back of her head, burying his fingers in her hair and yanking her head to the side to give his lips and tongue and teeth access to her neck. He felt her hands moving across his shoulders, felt her open her legs even farther to allow him in even deeper with the next rough thrust. He groaned loudly at the sensation of being so deep inside of her and tightened the grip on her hair as he moved even harder and faster.

She was gasping and panting and pleading for release.

"Only got one good hand." he reminded her, his lips against her collarbone, feeling her body jerk with every powerful thrust.

Then she did the hottest thing he could ever imagine. She reached between them, found her clit and started to get herself off. That was the last thing he ever expected her to do and it was the biggest turn on he'd ever experienced in his life. No woman had ever done that in front of him even though it often crossed his mind to ask one of the ones he'd been with if they'd do it. It had always been one of his dirty little fantasies; to see a woman pleasure herself. And now here it was and he didn't even have to ask or beg her to do it.

So maybe breaking his hand had a plus side to it after all.

Sweat and trickled down his face and back as he moved hard and fast inside of her moist, hot body. His forehead resting against hers and his eyes downcast so he could watch what she was doing. His fingers still entwined in her hair, his cock buried deep inside of her, hugged by the quivering muscles inside of her. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was shallow, her finger tip moving in slow circles on her throbbing clit. Bringing herself closer and closer.

He pressed a tender kiss to the corner of her mouth and she opened her eyes and looked at him. Their eyes locked, a raw, electric contact so intimate it was almost frightening. No jokes or smiles. Just ragged breathing and soft moaning.

She whimpered as her orgasm neared and she rubbed frantically at her clit. He kissed her and held her to him by the back of her head, her forehead resting on his shoulder as he kissed her ear softly.

"It's okay…" he whispered. "Just let it happen. I want you to make it happen."

She groaned against his shoulder, her other hand on his forearm, nails digging into his skin.

"I love you, Samantha…so much….just let it happen…." he pressed further into her, kissed the side of her neck and picked up the pace and intensity of his thrusting. It was hot and fast and would leave marks on the inside of her thighs. But her noises were telling him it was anything but pain she was experiencing.

She felt his teeth graze the spot below her ear and she came at the sensation. A sobbing, clutching orgasm that had her screaming his name into him and sent him over the edge. Milking the cum out of him in violent spurts and shaking his entire body before sagging against her.

Flack wasn't sure how much time passed. In fact, so intense was the release that it seemed as if he literally blacked out and time stood still. Eventually he became aware of their ragged breathing and the collective hammering of their hearts and her limp, sweat soaked body resting against his. Her head lay on his shoulder. He stroked her back and pressed a kiss t the top of her head.

"You're amazing." He said. "Thank you. For doing that. You have no idea what that did to me."

"I need to go to the bathroom." was her cool response.

Uh-oh, Flack thought. "You okay?" he asked.

"I just need to go to the bathroom, Donnie." She replied.

He nodded and pulled out of her slowly and carefully and then curled his arm around her waist to help her slide from the counter to the ground. When he looked at her, he was startled to see tears forming in her eyes.

"Samantha…." He said with concern, watching her as she quickly scooped up her clothes. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She said and hurried out of the kitchen.

Flack sighed and pulled off the condom and tossed it into the trash. How in the holy hell does that happen? he thought. How does a woman go from being so into it one minute and so disgruntled the next? He felt like a prick as well. He'd come home with the best of intentions. Determined to make it slow and intimate and intense and it had turned into something impersonal.

How in the hell did I let that happen?

He decided to give her a few minutes. She was unpredictable because of the pregnancy hormones and he had promised her that he wouldn't rush to her aid and smother her if she got into one of her 'moods'. When she didn't come back after several minutes, he climbed back into his boxers and pants and tossed his shirt and tie on the table. He went to the sink and splashed cold water on his face and back of his neck. He'd need a shower before he went back to work.

He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and poured her a glass of chocolate milk. She seemed to be downing the stuff constantly. He tucked the bottle of water under his arm and headed from the kitchen, cursing his useless right hand, and headed through the living room and down the hall. The bathroom was empty. He found her instead in the bedroom, lying on her side with her back facing the door, the covers pulled to her chin and wearing one of his shirts.

"Sam?" he said from the doorway, his voice gentle and soothing. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"I'm fine." She assured him.

"I brought you something to drink. I'm just going to put it on the nightstand, okay?"

She nodded.

He entered the bedroom, placing the milk on the small bedside table and then sitting down on the bed. Cross legged alongside of her. She wasn't making any noise or even acknowledging he was there, but the shaking of the bed told him she was crying. Something she rarely did in front of him. He cracked open the water and took a huge sip and then placed the bottle between his legs and reached out to stroke her hair.

"What's wrong, baby?" he asked.

"Nothing." She replied.

"If I hurt you or I did something you didn't want me to do…"

"You didn't hurt me. You did nothing wrong. It's not you. Okay?"

"Okay….so who and what is it? Because ten minutes ago you were in the middle of a damn good orgasm and now you're in here crying. What's up with that?"

She sniffled noisily.

Flack waited for an answer. But it never came. "You're not embarrassed are you?" he asked. "That you did that in front of me?"

"A little." she admitted.

"Why?"

She shrugged. "I don't know."

"Sam, that isn't an appropriate answer for anyone over seven." he said.

She sighed.

"Is that why you're upset? You feel embarrassed? Why would you feel that way? First off, I thought it was amazing and incredibly hot and it turned me on something fierce. Second of all, I'm going to be your husband. We share a bed and a life together. My baby is growing inside of you. I'm the last person you should ever feel embarrassed in front of. Okay?"

She nodded.

"Is there something else or just that?" he asked, smoothing her hair off of her forehead and leaning over to press a kiss to her temple.

"Do you think there's something wrong with me?" her voice was a near whisper.

"Hmmm? I can't hear you baby?"

She rolled over onto her back and then onto her side to face him. "Do you think there's something wrong with me?" she asked again.

"In what way?" he asked with a frown.

"Because of the way I am. With sex. Because I'm all fuck me hard and fast. In the shower, against the wall, in the car. Doesn't matter as long as it's fast and furious. I'm rarely take me to bed and love me all night long I'm raging porn star, not the girl you take home to your parents and make into an honest woman."

"Where is this coming from?" Flack asked.

"Do you think I'm a slut?"

He nearly spit out the water he'd just sipped. "What? Where the hell is all of this crap coming from?"

"Just answer the question." She implored. "And be honest, Donnie. I need you to be honest."

"No. I don' t think you're a slut. I mean that …." he paused. For once, words were failing him. "Look, Samantha, I have no problem with this kind of sex. I just want you to be happy and feel good. I mean, it's good sex. It's amazing sex, actually."

"And you like it rough, right?"

"Sure, I like it rough. Sometimes. But … Look, if that's what you're into, I'm into it too. Believe me, it's good sex," he smirked. "But I'm saying that I haven't been with a lot of women who feel that … great about sex like that. I mean it's great once in a while, but it's also great to slow it down and drink champagne and be romantic. And I don't want you to lose that if that's good for you too. I mean sex is good when both of us think it's good."

She sighed and rolled away from him again. "I feel so stupid."

"Why? Tell me why. And look at me when I'm talking to you. Please look at me."

She turned over onto her back and looked up at him.

"Sam, what is going on?" he asked with concern. "Where is all of this coming from?"

"I'm not good at this." She replied.

"With what? Stop talking in goddamn riddles."

"Sex."

He laughed now. "Samantha, you can say a lot of things. But you are fucking amazing at sex."

"You're not understanding what I'm saying."

"You're right. I'm not. I have no goddamn clue what you're going on about. So explain it to me like I'm a three year old."

"I'm fucked up, Don. Really. I have problems with intimacy. I have problems making love. Because I never had that ever. I never had a man that wanted that from me. I had someone that only cared about his wants and his needs and who didn't care how they were fulfilled. And because it was like that with him, it shouldn't be that way with you."

"Okay. Let's see if I have this straight. Your sex life with Zack was all 'let's fuck and get it over with'. On top of that, he abused you. And you were abused as a child. Am I right so far?"

She nodded.

"And you think that because of all of that it's wrong for you to like rough sex with me?"

"Exactly."

"First off, I resent you comparing me in any way shape or form to Zack."

She opened her mouth to speak, but he held his hand up to keep her quiet.

"Second, our relationship is nothing like what you had in the past. We're in love. We're getting married. We're having a family. And we trust each other enough to let things get a little out of hand sometimes. It's not abusive. We're consenting adults and we enjoy it and the first time you say no, is the time I stop. Okay?"

She nodded.

"Third, I know Gus put this in your head. Her and her do you like it 'cause you like it or do you think you deserve to feel pain and be punished and what not. I doubt she meant to insinuate that you're fucked up or you're in the wrong if you do like rough sex. And if she did, it's none of her damn business what we do in our personal life and in our bedroom. For all you know, she could be into rough sex. This crap in your head? This is something you hear from a shrink. This is not you talking."

"So you don't think there's something wrong with me?"

"No. I don't, There's worse things – I mean for Christ's sake, I'm okay with it. You can be sweet, slutty, virginal, whorish, innocent, experienced. I don't give a shit. I like all kinds of sex, Sam."

"You're a guy." She pointed out.

"I'm a guy whose desperately in love with the most amazing woman in the world. And when you analyze shit like this…"

"I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to be apologizing for. I just want you to realize that there is nothing wrong with you. And I just want you to be comfortable with me and the way we are together. Am I making sense?"

She nodded.

He leaned over and kissed her softly.

"I lied to you." She said, looking up into those loving blue eyes.

"About?" Something told Flack he didn't want to know. That whatever it was she was about to lay on him, he'd be wanting to punch another wall.

"When I told you that you and Zack were the only two people I'd ever been with. Sexually."

"Okay…..why'd you lie?"

"Because I don't consider it actual sex."

"You're confusing me again with these riddles, Samantha."

"A long time ago, that Pelham Bay guy that I dated. I was fourteen and…."

"Do I want to hear this?" Flack asked, frowning.

"It wasn't….I was scared and I was worried what would happen to me if I said no."

He was silent for a few minutes. Forcing himself to stay calm and to not react with anger as the pieces began fitting together. He leaned back against the head board and closed his eyes, his hand softly caressing her forehead and her hair.

"Donnie?" she asked.

He opened an eye and looked down at her.

"I'm sorry." She said, tears welling in her eyes once again. "I didn't want to lie to you. I was just worried about what you'd say. How'd you react. Please don't be mad at me."

"Is that what you think? That I'm mad at you? I don't care about the lie. That's not the issue. You did that to protect yourself and in some way me. I get that. The issue is what happened to you. Did you ever tell anyone that he raped you?"

"I wouldn't say it was rape. I didn't say no."

"You were scared you said. You didn't want to do it. That's rape. You know that."

He closed his eyes again and sighed heavily. Save it for the job, Flack, he told himself. This isn't business. This is personal and you'll get more out of her if you're calm and composed and supportive.

"I'm sorry." She said again.

"You know what? Stop….." he heard the harshness in his voice and immediately toned it down. He opened his eyes and looked down at her and saw the tears sparkling on her eyelashes. He sighed and sat the bottle of water on the table and then lifted the covers and moved down the bed to lie down on his side, facing her.

"Come here." He said.

She slid herself across the bed, snuggling into him, her stomach pressed against his chest.

He wrapped his arm around her and held her tightly. "Stop apologizing to me, Samantha. You have nothing to be sorry about. Am I the only person you've told this to?"

She nodded. "The only one."

"Not even your mom or Clint or even Adam?"

"You're the only one, Donnie. And I needed you to know before I became your wife and had your baby. You understand, right?"

"Of course I do. Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"You know what the Pelham Bay gang was like back then. I'm sure your dad told you all about them. And I'm sure you've dealt with the new breed. I was scared what they'd do to me."

"What about now? You could press charges now."

"I'm not telling you this so you can go out and arrest someone and exact revenge. I'm telling you this because I love you and I couldn't become your wife keeping it inside any longer. This is just between me and you, Donnie. This has nothing to do with the job. As much as I know you'd like nothing better than to bust this guy's head open…."

"I was thinking of something far more violent and painful, actually…."

"It wouldn't solve anything. You know that. It was a long time ago. And last I heard he'd turned his life around and had made a name for himself and put that kind of lifestyle behind him. He was just some punk ass kid back then. Us freaking out and causing problems for him won't do us any good."

"So he just gets away with it? Like he's been doin' for fifteen, sixteen years?"

"Can't always catch the bad guys, Donnie." Sam reasoned.

He shook his head. That was the most screwed up reasoning he'd ever heard. Someone like that deserved to be punished. Regardless of how long ago it was.

"There's more." She said, her face buried in his neck.

"Isn't there always?" he retorted, a little harsher than he intended.

She lifted her head and drew back to look at him. A frown on her face.

"Sorry. That came out the wrong way." Flack said and kissed her forehead.

She settled back down, her head tucked into his neck, hair tickling the underside of his chin. Her arm draped over his side.

"So what is it?" he asked, his fingertips drifting up and down her back and across her shoulders.

"After that one time, I refused to do it ever again…."

"Good."

"And that's when all the problems started. He decided that sex was the be all and end all of the universe and couldn't live without it and dumped me and started all kinds of nasty rumors about me being a slut and so on and so on. And then found someone to give him what he wanted."

"What girl in their right mind would be with a loser like that?"

"It was Erica."

That was not the response Flack had been expecting. "Come again?" he asked.

"Erica. My cousin."

"Same cousin that is now with Danny?"

Sam nodded.

"Why the hell would she mess with a guy like that knowing what he was saying about you?"

"She said if I had have just given him what he wanted…."

"Sam, I mean this with all due respect to you and Adam and your mother, but you're family is seriously fucked up."

She couldn't deny that.

"And this is the kind of woman Danny is mixed up with? Why am I getting the feeling he's going to get seriously screwed over? Like being with another Monroe."

"She's not like that now." Sam said defensively. "It was so long ago. We were teenagers and she was all into hanging out with the wrong crowd and drinking underage and doing drugs and sleeping around. But look at her now. She's done well for herself and she loves Danny and they seem incredibly happy. There's no reason to overreact about something that happened years ago and make things tough for her and them."

Flack just sighed. He had no idea what to say. And all this information she'd laid on him was swirling around in his head and making any reasonable thought nearly impossible.

"So now you know my whole sordid, fucked up life." Sam said with dry laugh.

"Good thing we're starting a whole new life then, isn't it." Flack stated.

She smiled against his neck and he kissed the top of her head and tightened his hold on her.

"Thank you." He said. "For trusting me enough to be honest and up front with all of this."

"I should thank you. For listening and understanding and not freaking out."

"I'm trying to turn over a new leaf." He informed her. "Be more understanding and supportive and less controlling and bossy all the time."

"Bossy and in control is good sometimes." She said.

"Yeah? What times are those?"

She grinned and kissed the hallow of his throat and slid her hand along his side, onto his stomach and then lower.

"Those are the best times of all." He said and she looked up at him and he kissed her.

"Make love to me, Donnie." She said quietly, her hand coaxing him effortlessly into an erection. "Slow and gentle and everything I need you to be right at this moment."

"I'll be anything you want." He told her and rolled onto his side, opening the top drawer on the nightstand and grabbing a condom package from the box stored in there.

"I only want you to be you." She told him.

He smiled and kissed her softly.

"I kinda like this one handed thing." she teased, taking the condom package from him once again and tearing it open. "I get to have a little more say in things."

"Don't get used to it." he said. "In six weeks things go back to normal."

"Pity." she said and pouted dramatically. "Something kinda sexy about doing this for you."

"No one said you were normal." he joked and then groaned at the touch of her soft hands as she smoothed the condom onto him.

"I should punish you for that."

"You've got a whole life time to do that. Right now, we do things the right way." he told her, and taking her leg, laid it over his thigh, eased into her slowly, a little at a time. Watching her face and her eyes fill with desire and hearing the soft moan that escaped her lips.

"Everything's going to be okay, Samantha." he kissed her forehead and her nose and both her eyes and cheeks as he moved inside of her. "We're going to be okay. I promise."

She didn't doubt that promise for one second.

Samantha dozed. She seemed excessively tired lately and caught up on sleep whenever she could. Flack lay beside her on his side, running his hand over her hair and her shoulder and watching her sleep. The way her long dark eyelashes fell on her pale cheeks and a soft smile curved her lips. She looked so peaceful and happy and angelic. So pure. How one woman could be so troubled one minute and so loving and sweet the next remained a mystery to him. All he knew was that he loved her and was looking forward to being a father and spending the rest of his life with her.

Now if only Zack's ghost would leave her alone so she could start a new life. Because Flack was sure that until she could put everything that happened in her past, both with Zack and her real father and this first boyfriend, there was no way they could have a relatively normal life together.

His head ached from thinking too much. And his hand was throbbing. Who knew such a small fracture could cause so much damn pain. He closed his eyes and contemplated calling the duty captain and saying he wouldn't be back in for the rest of the day. He wanted nothing more than to just lie there and hold her and love her all afternoon. But being the number one name on Gerrard's shit list was never a good thing and word was going to trickle back to Flack Sr about what a fuck up his son was acting like and then Flack Jr would never hear the end of it.

He sighed and opened his eyes and untangled himself from Sam's arms and legs. Carefully and quietly slipping out of bed and heading to take a shower.

Samantha was just stirring when he came back into the bedroom and started getting dressed again.

"What time is it?" she asked in a small voice, rubbing her eyes and yawning noisily.

"Almost quarter after three. Go back to sleep. You're tired and you need all the sleep you can get."

"I'll go back in a while." She said and sat up, holding the sheet to her chest. "You showered? Did you remember to wrap a bag around your cast so it wouldn't get wet?"

He nodded. "I had to shower. Sweating like that."

"Best exercise in the world." She giggled. "You should have woken me up and I could have taken one too."

"We'd still be in there and I'd never get back to work." Flack told her.

"And that's a bad thing?" she teased.

"I could have used your help. Not easy trying to wash your hair and all that with one hand."

"I'm a very good back scrubber." She said, smiling flirtatiously.

"You're very good at a lot of things." He told her with a wink. "Just in case all the noise I was making didn't all ready tell you how good you actually are."

"It was very good for my ego. At least I know you're enjoying yourself.

What time are you on to?"

"Unless all hell breaks loose in this city, I should be off no later than six, seven."

"We have to be at the sign up thing for those pre-natal classes at seven thirty." she reminded him.

"That's tonight?" Flack frowned. "I thought that was next week."

"It's tonight. Remember? We have the first class next week."

"I need to write all of this down. My brain does not function that good to just remember."

"You've lost all your brain cells having too much sex. A man looses so many brain cells every time he comes apparently."

"In that case, I'll be comatose about a month from now." Flack joked.

"Good thing they rejuvenate themselves." she laughed. "Or you'd be in big trouble. Do you just want me to meet you at the Y or…"

"You nuts? You're not taking the subway alone. I'll be here at seven to pick you up."

"Please don't bring your girlfriend." She quipped.

"Funny." Flack said with a smirk. He went to the bed and leaned over to kiss her. "I gotta go. Someone has to make a living around here."

"Thank you for lunch." she said with a giggle.

"Best lunch date ever if you ask me." Flack told her. "You need anything, you call me. Okay?"

She nodded.

He kissed her again.

"You never told me how your appointment went." Sam commented.

"It went okay. It was interesting. I was thinking about something. The therapist made me realize that a lot about what you said the other night was true and that I never realized those things about myself." He was struggling trying to do his tie up with one hand. In fact it was impossible.

"We all have issues, Donnie. You're not a bad person because of it."

She got up onto her knees and moved to the edge of the bed and then climbed off.

"Could you not have put some clothes on?" Flack asked, trying to look at the naked body in front of him as she easily, and expertly did up his tie for him. There was something so affectionate about the simple gesture that made him love her even more.

"You usually don't complain." she retorted, smoothing the tie down and straightening his jacket.

"I usually don't see your goods when I'm running late for work." He pointed out

She picked the discarded t-shirt up off the floor and pulled it on. "So this therapy thing…"

"Sorry. You have this way of distracting me. I was thinking when he was talking today that maybe me and you going to therapy would be a good idea."

She blinked. "Excuse me?"

"He mentioned that maybe I should bring you to the next appointment and I came to the conclusion that it's a good idea. That it wouldn't hurt or us to sit down and talk to someone impartial. So if he can narrow things down that we can work on. Help us make things better."

She cocked her head to the side and eyed him suspiciously. "Are you feeling okay?" she asked.

"Yeah. I just…..I want things to work between us, Sam. Death do us part and all that other shit. And I think that seeing someone and getting them to point us in the right direction is a good idea. I told you. I'm turning over a new leaf. Or trying to. I'm thirty years old. I'm not some single guy anymore. I'm gonna have a wife and responsibilities. And I'm going to be a dad. And whatever I can do to make me better for both of you, I am willing to do it."

"Whoa….." she said. "Who are you and where did Don Flack go?"

He smirked. "I'm serious, Samantha. What do you think? You think it's a good idea? That it will be good for us?"

"I think that you've taken a huge step by making a decision like this. And I'll go with you. For you and for us and for our baby."

"Thank you." he said and kissed her sweetly. A kiss that soon went farther and deeper than he'd initially planned on making it. But damn, she was just too hard to resist. And once again, he considered calling the duty captain and saying he was taking the rest of the day off.

His cell phone, now sitting on the nightstand, rang noisily. Bringing an abrupt end to any thoughts of intimacy.

"Better not be your girlfriend." Sam said as he went to fetch the phone.

"Let that go before I put you over my knee and spank you." Flack told her.

"Promises, promises." Sam said with a sigh and grabbed the now lukewarm glass of milk and sipped from it.

"It's just Danny. Probably got some evidence for me or wants me to pick someone up or get a warrant. I'll call him back in the car." he kissed her cheek. "Gotta go. Serve and protect and all that other bullshit."

"It's what they pay you the big bucks for." Sam said, following him out of the bedroom and down the hall.

"My bank account begs to differ."

"That's because you have a very expensive fiancée." Sam pointed out.

"Wouldn't give you up for anything. But I hope you'll still love me when we're living in a box behind Saks because you spent all my money."

"Hmmm…..I may just have to trade you in for some Wall Street man in Armani suits and Bruno Magli shoes."

"Sam, a guy like that would not know what to do with you."

"Neither do you sometimes." She laughed, as he clipped his badge and holster to his pants.

"Please. I know exactly what you want and need and how to do it for you. Didn't I prove that to you twice today?"

"Once more would have convinced me."

He grinned and headed for the door. "You'll be the death of me, woman."

"You'll die happy." She said and unlocked the door and opened it for him. "Be safe." She said as he stepped out into the hallway.

"I will. And put some pants on before the old guy next store comes out here and she's your bare legs and has a heart attack."

"I think all the noise we made was enough to do that." she laughed.

"Be good. No wild parties or anything."

"You mean no body shots with hot Latino strippers? Talk about ruining my fun."

He grinned and kissed her once more. "I meant what I said earlier. About not thinking there's anything wrong with you. And if you ever want to go after that guy…"

"Please let that go, Donnie. I only told you because I thought being honest was the right thing to do."

"You're right." he said. "It is. I just hate thinking some guy got away with that."

"Lots of people get away with lots of things." she said.

Flack couldn't argue with that.

Danny met Flack outside the lab. Danny had the warrant to search a storage facility in Washington Heights belonging to a suspected perp in a months old case, but needed a little back up. Wasn't safe going anywhere alone these days regardless of your gender. And Mac was enforcing a strict rule that no team member went to perform interviews or searches alone.

"Where you been for the last two hours?" Danny asked as he slid into the passenger's seat and did up his seat belt. When Flack was driving, you always wore your seat belt. And prayed you got wherever you were going in one piece. Damn good driver. Awesome driver, actually. But he was crazy sometimes. And now that he was driving with one hand, Danny was even more cautious.

"I went home for a little bit." Flack replied, putting the car into drive and pulling away from the curb and into traffic.

"Why?"

Flack just smirked.

"You two make me sick." Danny declared.

"Hey, I haven't had any for five days. Five days, Messer. May as well be a lifetime. I had some down time and I went home and made up for my suffering a couple times."

"You two are like goddamn rabbits. You guys are gonna end up with like five, six kids."

"Not such a bad thing." Flack said.

Danny stared at him. "What is wrong with you? Seriously. From wanting no kids to wanting a whole litter? Are you sick or something?"

"Always figured if I ever found someone that I loved enough to marry and have kids with, I'd want a big family. You don't ever want to have kids? You and Erica are living together and all that. Don't you think about having kids with her?"

"Erica and I are happy with things the way they are. We are safe sex advocates."

"You never want kids?"

"Someday."

"You ain't gettin' any younger, Messer."

"So says the one with all the grey hair."

Flack smirked. "You're going to wake up an old man one day Danny and no one to take care of you."

"Hey, when I'm eighty I plan on having four twenty year old wives to take care of me. I'll be doing just fine."

Flack just shook his head. "Where's Max? Thought for sure she'd be tagging along."

"She's doing some paper work Gerrard wants. And is sulking about some thing between her and Sam. What's that about?"

Flack shrugged. "I wasn't there. Hey, you happen to know anything about that Pelham Bay guy Sam dated when she was in high school?"

"Nope. And she doesn't talk about it either."

"Erica's never mentioned him?"

Danny shook his head.

"Do you know any of them from back then? Maybe you and Louie may have had run ins with them or something?"

"I never ran with Louie and the Tanglewood Boys except for that one night, remember? Best person you could ask would be Louie himself. Want his number? You can give him a call?"

"Not that important." Flack said. "Just thought maybe you knew some of them."

"Sorry. What's this about? Checking up on your girl? Doin' some detective work?"

"Nothing like that." Flack said. "I was just curious. Sam mentioned some things today and I just wondered what this guy's story was is all."

"Why? What do you care what she did back in high school?"

"I don't. I'm just curious what this guy is all about. I can't be curious?"

"Not saying that. I'm just saying what's the big deal about her dating some Pelham Bay loser fifteen, sixteen years ago?"

"Look Danny, if you knew what…..you know what? Never mind. It's none of your business. Just thought I'd ask."

Danny watched his best friend as he drove. He knew there was more to it than Flack was letting on. And that it wouldn't do any good to push him about it.

"If you want," Danny said. "I can call Louie later and ask some questions. See if he remembers any of the Pelham Bay guys from back then."

"Don't worry about it." Flack brushed it off.

"I can go into the system, see if any of them have a record." Danny offered.

Flack sighed. "How about you try and ask Erica about it?"

Danny frowned. "What's the suppose to mean?"

"Nothing. But she knows all about this guy and you should ask her."

"How's she know him?"

"Ask her Danny."

The CSI nodded. "I ain't gonna like the answer she's gonna give am I?"

Flack had no response to that.

And he had no idea why something that happened so long ago seemed to matter so much.

Thanks to all of you who are reading and reviewing. I appreciate all of you and look forward to your reviews and PMs!

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