Chapter Two: Weakness

"Go away," Jacob thickly breathed the murmur of words, almost chocking on them as they were spoken. His frame had turned rigid and tense within the same second he had heard her voice speak his name.

Resting his head against the hard wooden door of his room, his eyes shut tight, as his body began to heat. Sweat glistened over the crease of his forehead, before it trickled down over his jawline.

His cheeks were being highlighted with a deep red.

Why was it so hard just to open the door and slam it shut behind him?! He knew that's all he needed to do, but something in his mind made it so hard to act on. He knew it was the feeling of lust that was stopping him, but he didn't want to admit it.

Bella was worried about him, about a stranger, which had showed her some kind of sympathy and she wasn't sure why—it wasn't like he was a friend. He just that … a stranger … Bella wasn't used to strangers coming up to her to see if she was okay or not, and in this modern day world, she couldn't blame them with how many people were on drugs and just suddenly went off at a single, innocently spoken word.

She was more than used to being ignored by everyone, including her own family. Renee was too busy with her new husband down south and Charlie was often either too busy with work or too tired to bother.

Bella wasn't exactly sure why she had searched for Jake after he had taken off so … abruptly. There had been just something … magnetic and comforting about him. He felt safe and made her feel something she had never felt before whenever she touched a man—right. It just felt right when her body had urged her to press her plump-model-like lips to the burning, clammy though smooth skin of his neck. Or maybe it was just the three drinks, still, talking.

"Jacob, what's wrong?" she murmured, rushing over to him. Jake felt her place one hand on his shoulder and the other on his stomach as he looked like he was about to fall or faint. His knees buckled but he had caught himself before he fell like a fool to his knees. He felt lighter weight under her touch than he looked from a short distance.

"This," he growled, gripping her gentle, cool skinned hand from his shirt covering his stomach to the bludge in his jeans before releasing her hand, realising what he had done to someone who was just trying to care.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, his breath shaky before touching the palm of his hand to his head where it pounded like someone had hit him hard over the head with a frying pan. He hadn't eaten enough in the past twenty-four-hours. "I hadn't meant to do that, Bella."

He was just so used to being with Miranda, teasing her and allowing her to tease him. She had always made him show her what was wrong with him. She made him make her touch him. It was just her way. Always so, dominant and demanding, it was like she ruled him … owned him, even.

Without even knowing it, Jacob had flicked a small switch inside Bella as their darkening gaze's held the intensely of lust and desire. The size of his package seemed to have imprinted its feel to the nerves of her hand—she felt like her palm was still there. A warm tightness in her stomach had spasmed in pleasure at the feel of him. If he hadn't let her hand go, she would have given him a slight squeeze without a second of thought about it.

Jake felt the atmosphere shift between them. When he wrapped his arm tight around Bella's shoulders, pulling her into his defined body, against his yearning mouth, she let out a small gasp of shock. His gentle lips melted into hers, smooth as butter as he kissed her deeply. Thankful the small hall of doors, were empty apart from the two of them, he gripped the door knob and twisted it with the keys jingling inside the lock until finally the door came open behind them.

Stumbling inside, over the rugged royal red carpet, Jacob kicked the door to a slamming close with the black boot of his foot. The room was neat and cleaner than any club normally would be. All that registered in Jake's head, was the fact the room had a bed. None of the other items mattered to him for now.

Leaning back up against the structure of the door, Jacob pinned Bella there with her legs between his own. He threw his damp shirt from over his head where it landed somewhere on the floor with a small sound of a bump.

Unusually, there was no hint of music thrumming up the floors into the room from downstairs. No vibration under their feet from the speakers being turned up too loud. Not even the sound of traffic passing hit the room. The only sound that could be heard was their rapid breaths being exhaled through their noses while feverishly making out.

Jacob's mouth parted Bella's lips as his tongue led its way into her mouth. She groaned through pants, digging her fingers into Jacob's bare shoulders as he pressed further into her frame. With a quick flick of his fingers, her dress fell to the floor into a neat crumble around her feet, leaving only her bra at his disposal. He grinned not seeing a hint of fabric for underwear covering raw her flesh.

Pulling away, with his hands around her waist, his mouth trailed down her neck to the sweet spot between her neck and shoulder, where his teeth grazed her silky cream skin while lightly sucking with heated passion. She gasped and whimpered lightly.

Through the denim of his jeans the hardness of his cock pressed against her flat stomach, sending a pleasuring shiver down her spine. Her stomach tightened with warmth of a moan. She clutched his shoulders, leaving small marks in his skin as she tried to keep herself on the stems of her high-heels.

"Jacob!" she gasped out loud, almost falling into his supporting arm around her waist as he slipped a finger into her and stroked her folds with an irritatingly slow pace. A smirk of confidence formed over his lips, with his free hand reaching up, he flicked the hook on her silver-and-black bra and it too, fell to the floor in the same order the dress had.

Leaning down, he took her whole breast into his mouth with a moan into her skin, where Jake once again felt her almost fall after a breathless gasp. His tongue swirled around her pink budded nipple as he softly nipped it.

Feeling her wetness coating his finger, he could tell he was doing a good job for his first time being unguided. He was enjoying it, taking his time to explore everything he hadn't been able to with Miranda, out of his own feelings and instincts before.

It was driving him nuts with how easy to seduce she was. Miranda was so hard, so self-containing and composed. She was used to it all, nothing was new to her. Nothing made her gasp or cry out unless it was unsuspected. Jacob loved nothing more than to make Bella cry out, shiver and tremble in pleasure with his arms around her; it gave him self-confidence and pleasure to know he was bringing this out in her, making her hot and wet, just for him, and not because she was telling him what to do.

He pulsed and throbbed against the zipper of his jeans. As though she had read his mind, Bella's hands slipped down from his shoulders to the waist of his jeans where her fingers grabbing the tip of the zipper and pulled it achingly slow down to its base, before flicking the button undone, from where he sprung free with a loud groan of relief. He heard Bella giggle in response, causing him to smirk with his eyes closed.

Lifting his head, with his eyes opening, he met her glance that mirrored his own—dark and lustful, full of want and desire. She held his gaze as her hand ran down along his painfully hard length. His skin was smooth and hot against her cool hands. Her touch alone seemed to make him throb all the more. He whimpered out of the need for release, pulsing hard in the palm of her hand. If she just said it, he'd cum. But that little switch in his head was still yet to go off … thanks to her.

With the bed behind them, she pushed him in the chest where he fell back and landed on the mattress with a bounce. Grinning up at her, his eyes were sparkling with anticipation.

Jacob scooted up the single bed to where the pillow sat behind his shoulder-blades as he half laid, half sat up in the bed, leaning back on his elbows. Through the tall window beside the bed, opposite to the door, bright city lights cast a dull light into the room, enough to show the gleamed of sweat covering Jacob's skin.

The room was stifling hot, airless, but neither Jake nor Bella cared. They were too caught up in one and other to even think much about breathing

On her hands and knees, Bella crawled over him with a wicked grin planted over her mouth. Leaning her bottom half down, her wetness touched his length with the slightest touch, forcing a painful groan from his throat as his hands fisted the sheets with a tug. She had no idea the affect she had on him.

In the dull city lights shimmering through the window, where his skin basically glowed with the sheen of sweat, she spotted something shimmer over his hip, stretching out over the muscle of his stomach, where his abs rose from his stomach. The marks appeared like tiger stripes. One stretched down into the short fuss of dark hair below his navel. Her face fell as her fingers brushed over the silvery lines. The scars were cooler compared to the rest of his stifling body.

Jake didn't even feel her touch, only the slightest tingling sensation that randomly happened from one time to another.

"What are you … ?" he paused, glancing down at her finger and looked away, searching the room for something to put his mind elsewhere. He knew her next question, and he wanted to void it at all costs. For the first time he noticed the walls were painted a dull cream. Apart from the stained wooden bedside table and an old, green and red checked, two-seater couch facing an old TV on the side of the window, they were the only pieces of furniture in the room. It was obvious the TV was old, as it wasn't a flat-screen. Jake wondered if it even worked.

He searched the ceiling, hoping for some kind of bare patch of paint that had a funny shape to it, only to find what would have been a black ceiling fan, if it wasn't for the inch-thick dust coating blades, turning it to a grey colour instead. The blades ached to move, but didn't succeed.

"Where have you come from?" Bella whispered, so lightly it was barely able to be heard, even with them both only being a foot or two apart. She hadn't meant to say it. It had just come out. It was an odd question to ask, but pretty much summed up any life-long story which usually was the cause to all scars—emotional and physical.

"Out of town," Jacob smirked smugly and glanced away, pretending he didn't know what she was talking about—anything was better than explaining where that scar had come from. He didn't want anyone to know that story. It was bad enough Miranda did.

That was obvious. Bella rolled her eyes and tried to see what Jacob was finding so interesting.

It was the one thing that Jacob never wanted to speak of or think about, especially before getting off with someone. It was the only thing that could be mentioned and cause a 'melt' down for him.

"But—" he cut her off and shut her up midsentence by roughly taking her arms and tossing her over onto her back where he kissed her deeply. Bella groaned into the muscles of Jacob's neck, licking his sweated skin.

Her arm wrapped around his powerful shoulder-blades of his defined back. He must have worked out or something—he was too powerful and strong for the lightness of his body. Jacob was more lean than buff. He didn't weight enough for his height that had to be around five-eleven to six feet tall. What made Bella guess his height was the fact he was the length of the entire bed as he sprawled out over her, careful not to put too much of his weight against her, only enough to pin her into the mattress in a delicious manner of the heat between their bodies.

Her spare hand rested against his hip, where her thumb brushed against the coldness of the scar as his back ached against her own, rubbing against her wetness, forcing a whimper out of her mouth as he swallowed it whole.

Her fingers dragged into the skin of his back, leaving rising red marks as he pumped into her hard and fast. She whimpered into his shoulder, feeling just how big and thick Jacob really was. He felt bigger than he had looked. His hands were at her hips, lifting them the slightest bit so her back was ached against him. His breath was uneven and short as he panted hard in the airless room.

"Jacob!" she cried as her stomach twisted in warmth and spasms of bliss. If there was a sudden knock at the door, full of complaints of their loudness, Jacob wouldn't have been surprised. The springs of the bed squeaked as he felt her inner muscles clamped down around him, coating his length with her warm juices. But it wasn't enough. He needed the permission. He couldn't just let go.

Moving his mouth to the skin of her neck, he nipped at her ear and felt her come again with a shudder.

"Say it Bella," he murmured painfully, his voice was cracked into that of a pure beg without being too obvious.

Reaching down between them, she cupped his sack, sending a wave of heat throughout the insides of his stomach. She rubbed and gripped each of them, lightly then harshly, wanting to tease him some more, but she had no idea how much he really needed it.

Shuddering with feeling her tongue run the length of his neck, his flesh rose in goose bumps as his muscles tensed in anticipation. Like he had, she nipped the tip of his ear lobe and murmured her request deep and huskily, though almost as silent as the breeze. "Cum Jake, cum hard," she cooed, gripping his sack hard in the palm of her hand as she spoke in a voice she knew would force him over the edge again and again. He came with a loud groan, spilling his load as his breath held, feeling his entire body turn rigid and tensed.

Resting his head against her shoulder, panting hard while catching his breath, he smiled weakly as he lifted himself up just enough to look into her green eyes. Her hair was drenched with sweat, sticking to the skin of her highlighted flushed face. She looked beautiful under him.

He knew she had done him a favour, more than herself. "Thank you," he whispered, brushing his hand down the side of her clammy cheek. He loved her eyes, how they sparked in the dim light. It was like there were stars flickering, a cheery light inside them.

"Welcome," Bella smiled back, resting her hand on his chest, where she could feel his heart pounding under her palm. Its pace matched that of her own, galloping its way under her rib cage as she too, caught her own breath. She hadn't ever met a guy who was quiet so … thoughtful and considerate as Jacob. It was a refreshing change.

Jake winced as he moved to lay down on the sheets beside her, lying against the cool wall to give Bella some space on the narrow, single bed. Every muscle in Jacob's body ached from being so tensed up, but it had been worth it. Better than being blue, he thought, mentally rolling his eyes as they closed.

The dim light shone on Jacob's pink, sweat coated skin as he somehow found sleep in the stifling room. Lying on her side facing Jake, Bella smiled to herself as she watched him sleep, taking in deep breaths every few seconds. He looked so innocent in his sleep. It was hard to believe he had been capable of what they had just done looking at him now, but then she sighed and shook her head. She couldn't think that way. It had been a one night stand and that's all she'd probably ever know of Jacob, just like the countless number of other guys she had been with.

Glancing at the scars over his hip and stomach, she couldn't help but wonder what had caused them and what had been so bad about it for Jacob to skip her question completely.

Slowly, she slipped under the roughness of the cheap sheets. The sound of a cricket singing outside had made it relaxingly easy to fall into a deep sleep.

"Leave me alone!" Jacob called out in his sleep. He tossed and turned in the now empty bed, the sheets had been pulled up through the night and now half lay on the floor. The pillow too, had fallen to the floor from Jake's wild tossing.

His arm was wrapped around his stomach, clutching his hip tightly as though it hurt. Tears coated his red face along with sweat of the heated room and fear. The sun now shone through the window as the middle of the day approached.

From behind his lids, flashes flicked before his eyes. These were the worst nightmares, as they contained so much, not a single day of his life had hurt as much as the mix of days and moments these nightmares contained. They were all grey, but they all had meaning to Jake.

Screaming out as a knife cut across his stomach … Looking up to the one person, who had dared to take him on, for all those years … Hearing the police report on the news of both his parents being dead … Running from the van … Seeing the police take off before they saw him, having help so close and yet so far away …

He gasped awake, flinging himself in an upright position as he panted hard while sitting in the middle of the bed. Searching around himself, Jacob quickly came to realise he had had been dreaming again. He was safe, for now and thankfully Bella had gone before she had seen him at his weakest.

Lying back against the hard mattress of the bed, through tear blurred eyes Jacob stared up at the ceiling fan and let the tears roll down in rivers over his cheeks. For just twenty-one, he had a painful life which was his father's entire fault. If it wasn't for him, Jake would probably be safe and his mother still alive. He also knew he wouldn't be scared wherever he went. He wouldn't be scared to live his life how he knew he should.

Turning onto his side, he punched the mattress hard in frustration. His hand tingled with a light pain. He hadn't asked for this life! So why did he have it?!

Through seething breaths, he recognised a panic attack coming on as his heart picked up into a turning, rapid pace. Slowly, he calmed himself down by getting up and opening the window. A cool breeze entered the room, much to his relief.

Picking up the sheets from the floor, he grabbed the pillow and threw it up on the bed. A small piece of paper fell from the pillow, landing at his feet. Bending over, he picked it up, seeing it was a mobile number in neat, fancy writing. Bella had written it. Her name was written below the number.

Going over to his jeans by the door where he had left them, he shoved the number into the back pocket and hauled the jeans up and his shirt overhead. Finding the car keys in the front pocket, he climbed down the stairs to a now quiet club. The music was softer. The only lights that flickered and flashed were the ones around the stage, where a country music band played.

Jake groaned and rolled his eyes. He hated country music! With its slow boring or sad and repeating beats, bad guitar playing and lack of more than three words to an entire song, it wasn't what Jacob called music. As he crossed the dance floor, he noticed there had to be only about ten people filling the place, over the bar, stage and floor.

Pushing heavy club door open, the sun hit Jacob's eyes with a stinging wince, along with the blistering heat kissing his skin. Walking out, the car park was empty of people. Only six cars remained parked in the entire lot, including his own, parked on the far end. Trees around the club blew and swayed in the wind. Their leaves made a rustling as it suddenly picked up. A cloud came over the sun and cast a dark shadow over the car park.

Looking around, Jacob half expected to see Bella like he had the night before, by the club door sobbing … and then a wave of guilt hit him hard. Clutching the scorching door hand of his car, it went unnoticed as its heat burned into his skin.

He had done to Bella, what Miranda had always done to him. He felt low, swallow, a man- whore even. He was no better than her. How could he be, when he had done that to Bella?! She was a needy stranger, weak from her break up. Of course she'd sleep with him! Anything for comfort!

Once more, he bit down on his lower lip until the skin broke and blood seeped from the tiny cut. Jacob didn't wince. He believed he deserved the pain, for what he had done to Bella. The same thought kept lulling around in his head—I'm no better than her.

Pulling the car door open, he grabbed his duffle bag and threw it over his shoulder, slamming the door behind him as he stalked inside as quickly as he could manage without breaking out into a panicking run.

Getting upstairs, he jiggled the keys in the tight lock of the silver door knob and pushed open the door the second he heard the lock release. Throwing the duffle bag onto the bed with a bounce, he could feel a weight coming down on his chest. He needed a cold shower.

Now in the day light, it was easier to see the couch and the rest of the room, which now didn't look so clean. The couch was still the red and green checked pattern Jake had noted upon last night, only now he saw how worn out and filthy it was. There were black marks all over it, the kind of marks you'd see on the road and footpath of the streets—blacken chewing gum. In places, the fabric was worn away to its grey-white seams. He didn't dare think about what had worn the material away, nor what had made the white stains over the cushions.

On the same wall the couch was placed up against, was a frame around the doorway, showing the whole bathroom from the main room. It only consisted of a sink, small cupboard under the sink, shower around the corner and a toilet beside the shower. The sink was opposite to the doorway. The whole room was a sickly, grey-cream colour—typical hotel.

Striding over to the cupboard, Jake quickly found all he needed: soap and a towel that was the very same colour as the carpet outside the bathroom. Pulling them out, he hung towel over the rack. Pulling his clothes off, he left them lying in a clump on the grey tiled floor. Reaching in, he turned on the cold water and got in.

The water pattered down onto the russet skin of his rippled back and defined pecks, trickling down his stomach, one bead at a time. Groaning, he leaned back against the chilly shower wall sighed. Guilt was clutching his chest as he tried to shake it, while tempting to convince himself that Bella had wanted it too—but of course she would! That's when you were most needy of comfort or a distraction of any kind! It didn't seem to matter what he told himself or tried to convince himself … it didn't work.

Grabbing the soap, he lathered his hands up and ran them over his muscles. He felt dirty … no filthy, filthy as that couch out there with its black patches of old chewed up gum, but the cold water felt like an almighty relief after being so hot, and clammy. It felt as though his skin could now breathe with the layer of sweat being rinsed away.

But Jake still felt dirty. He felt worn and used. On many levels, he now realised just how much—weirdly— he and that couch had in common. If it was a dog he had just found on the street, he would have washed it to spare it of that feeling, and if couches had feelings, he'd do the same for it, too.

Rubbing the soap over his stomach, Jake didn't dare to glance down to his scar that tingled under the soapy touch and cold water. He had enough to contend with in his mind ... and life. Shaking his head, finally the heaviness of the panic attack was lifting from his chest, but not the guilt. That wouldn't lift until he saw for himself, that Bella was, really, okay.

Rinsing the suds off, he stepped out of the shower and took the towel from the rack, drying off as he went back out into the other room. Getting his duffle bag, after unzipping it, he turned it upside down and emptied its contents out onto the bed.

With a clatter, a pair of silver handcuffs landed on the top of the large pile of clothes. Jacob groaned. His eyes rolled at the sight of them, along with the memories of them being used on him throughout the years he had been with Miranda, flashed before his eyes. They were the last thing he wanted to see, but at least they had provided him with some kind of distraction.

Getting a clean pair of washed-out grey jeans, Jacob pulled them on along with a simple v necked, grey tank-top. Repacking his bag, he took the cuffs into his hand and slipped them into his back pocket. Leaving the bag of clothes on his bed, he did up the laces of his boot and headed out the door.

The club was getting louder now as night began to slip in. On the way down the spiral of stairs, he noticed there was a handful more of people dancing. The music had been turned up a little more, too. The people that were dancing were more than likely college students or high-schoolers, just got out of class and now wanted to let off a little steam as their weekend started.

Going outside, Jake seen there were teenagers and people in their early to mid-twenties pulling up in the car park everywhere, usually coming with a car full of friends, getting out laughing after hearing a joke on the way to the club.

Winding his way around them, it was a little cooler now than what it had been in the earlier part of the day. Jake hoped into his car and sighed, glaring at the road as the sun set on the city. Reaching back, he pulled the cuffs out of his jean's pocket and set them on the dashboard.

Starting up his car with a protesting groan from the engine, he pulled out onto the road, heading away from the city. He didn't know why he was doing it … maybe it a weakness of the want he had to see Miranda after their first night apart in many, many months, if not years. Or maybe it was because she had made him feel the way he was, riddled with guilt of being with Bella and using her for his own selfish pleasure, because that's what she had told him he did when he went off with other women, unless it was a relationship of some kind. Maybe in the back of his mind, he thought that somehow, Miranda would reassure him, that he wasn't a bad person, like he felt.

Seeing the two-story house coming up the road, he sucked in a deep breath and slowly let it out. Pulling in and going down the driveway, he looked around, as though he expected to notice something different about the property in the twenty-four-hours since he had left. But nothing had changed.

Pulling up outside the narrowly tall house, he clutched the cuffs in hand and jumped out of the car. The air was fresher, with a bite of coldness and the sweet scent of rain floating over its currents. Glancing back over his shoulder; Jake saw thunder clouds on the orange-pink horizon where the city began to light up as building lights flickered on, quickly moving in as the wind picked up its pace.

With one knock at the white wooden door, Jake went to knock once more, when it slowly swung open. Lifting his head, he met Miranda's liquid blue eyes, but there was no shock in her body language. She knew he'd be back sooner or later, she had just expected him to have showed sooner, than he had.

She was wearing an exotic blue bra and underwear. Both were far too small for her C cup breasts and size four arse. It was making Jake's mind fog with lust. Seeing Jacob, she shrugged a black leather jacket on and slipped into a tight leather skirt.

Miranda must have heard Jake's car pull up for her to answer the door like she had. Normally she was very discreet with how she was dressed, unless it was in front of someone she knew. Maybe this had been some sexy, manipulating plan of hers to seduce him back into staying with her. He wouldn't have been surprised if it was. It was just like Miranda.

"Hey," he faintly murmured, trying to keep focus on the exact reason to why he was standing before her as he felt his cock twitch. "Here, I wanted to give you these back … found them in my bag."

"Oh thanks." As per usual, she was playing her coy attitude. She took the cuffs and set them on the table inside the door like they were just any other normal item that you'd find in any house. She then took something from the table into her hand.

"Here, you forgot this. Come in tonight for your last paycheque unless you've change your mind."