Disclaimer: I really don't own twilight... or the idea that I got from Family Guy

The other day we were in Cre8 (a writer group at my school) and my friend Parsley organised a starter activity.

We had to write about an assassin washed up on an island and my other friend Elle said "Is this guy fit?"

Parsley replied, "Of course he's fit, he kills people doesn't he. He's an assassin." So yeah, can't fight the logic...

On with the story!

Brother's stick together - literally: Part 1

Edward's POV

I was cuddled up with my wonderful wife and my glorious daughter when the most disgusting, yet drowsy smell hit my nostrils. I untangled myself from the gathering and went to tell my brother - for the twelfth time today - that glue was not a toy and Esme had forbidden him to look at it, never mind touch it. I walked across the tastefully decorated hall and stopped in front of Emmett's room.

"Emmett!" I shouted from behind the door.

Why did I wait at the door? Simple, I didn't want to see Emmett in just his boxers because he's forgotten to dress himself again! Especially since whenever this occurred Emmett screamed 'ARGH! He's eye-raping me!' and ran from the room pretending to cry. Sad.

I ran my fingers through my tousled bronze hair and rapped on the door with my knuckles. No answer. "Emmett" I cautioned slowly, "I'm coming in now!"

"'Kay" Emmett replied, unfazed from whatever he was doing with the glue.

I gritted my teeth and flung the door open. The sight that met me would have made me vomit if I was still human.

Emmett was there, dressed like Shakira and holding the superglue like a fountain above his head. The sticky vomit filed out of the tube; coating everything with a layer of glue. That wasn't the worst part. He was dancing to Hips Don't Lie.

"ARGH!" I yelled, shielding my eyes from the horrific sight, "Emmett put some god damn clothes on!"

Emmett looked hurt, his bottom lip jutted out as he protested, "But I am wearing clothes... this time."

"They aren't clothes Emmett, they're scraps of lace glued together!"

"So?"

"So go get changed before I go blind!" I screeched at him, "And don't mess with the superglue, you know what happened last time!" I shuddered as I remembered Red Nose Day.

"What the heck is going on here?" A new voice asked from the hallway. "I've got so much anger in my system that I can't hear myself think." Jasper made the mistake of walking into the room.

"No! Jasper don't" I protested, trying to save him from the torture.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Jasper yelled, shielding his eyes from the image. But it was too late; I could hear the mental image swimming in his head. "Ew..."

Hahahahaha! Eddie's tortured with mental images and Jazzy's 'feminine problem' makes him feel double the embarrassment. Cool! Emmett laughed in his head.

"Ew... Edward stop mind-raping me" Emmett said childishly. I sighed and grabbed his arm, meaning to force him out of the room so we could clear this mess up, preferably before Esme got home. Jasper gripped his other arm and together we heaved him out of the door. I attempted to pull my arm back but it resisted of it's own accord, shoving Emmett in the process.

"Okay, I'm going, I'm going for god's sake!"

"Shut up, Emmett!" I yelled, jerking my arm backwards again. Nothing... "Jasper?" I asked "Pull your arm backwards." Jasper complied and his tug sent Emmett skidding backwards a few steps.

"No!" Jasper yelped "I can't move!" Then we noticed the sticky substance clinging desperately to Emmett's skin.

"Superglue..." we sighed together, then louder "EMMETT!"

"Whoops" Emmett grinned, his massive frame shaking with suppressed laughter.

*******************

"So let me get this straight" Carlisle said for what was the fourth time today. "Not only is Emmett dressed as Shakira" - Carlisle shuddered - "But your all stuck together with superglue. Am I right?"

"Yes" I sighed, staring at the ground shamefully.

"Yes" Jasper repeated, looking as forlorn and depressed as me.

"Yep!" Emmett grinned without a shadow of remorse in his eyes or in his tone, "Now my brothers will have to play with me!"

"Oh no..." I shuddered, fearfully.

This is part one, part two will be coming in a few days. What cruel stuff can happen to Eddie and Jazz. You'll have to wait to find out! Please R&R