DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN CSI:NY OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS. I DO HOWEVER OWN SAMANTHA ROSS AND BABY KIERAN
Digging up the Past
"Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It's written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake
I tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete
I don't mean to drag it on,
but I can't seem to let you go
I don't wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go."
-Incomplete, Backstreet Boys
At eight the next morning, Flack found himself pacing the expanse of marble floor surrounding the property clerk's office in the basement of One Police Plaza. He'd had a shitty night's sleep and was in a pretty foul mood. Not only had Sam kept him up with her incessant tossing and turning and complaints of agonizing heartburn and the fact that the baby would just not sit still, but he'd been nagged by the memory of what had happened almost eight years ago. The horrific, near fatal incident that had crossed his path with Carmen Devine's for the first time. When he was just a uniform responding to what would turn out to be his last call before becoming a detective. And Carmen was just a college kid studying for her masters.
Little did they know that their paths would cross again in a professional arena. When Carmen had walked onto his crime scene her first day on the job and Danny introduced them, a look of recollection had been shared between the two of them. It may have been years ago, but the memories were suddenly very fresh for both of them. Something about Carmen Devine and how broken and battered yet resilient she'd had been through the sheer hell she'd been put through had captivated a young Flack.
She'd spent nearly a month in the hospital and he'd gone to visit her as often as he could. They'd struck up an easy friendship and she was grateful to him for being there in time to stop Mathew and his rampage. Flack remained humble. It was him and Gavin Moran and three others uniforms who had finally managed to subdue the out of control young man. Whatever the kid had been on, he'd had the strength of ten of them and was damn well determined to finish what he started.
They had gone out for coffee a few times after her release from the hospital. It was never anything more than that. Just two new friends hanging out. Carmen was in no way ready to dive into a relationship with someone, and although he was attracted to her, Flack wasn't about to push something like that after what she had been through. She trusted him enough to let him into a small part of her personal space, and even that was a lot to ask. Eventually work commitments saw them going in two different directions and they never saw, or spoke, again.
No one, other than Danny, knew that Flack and Carmen had previously known each other. The others assumed that Carmen's first day on the job was the first time they had ever met. And it wasn't that Flack and Carmen were hiding anything from the rest of the team, and most importantly, Sam.
During the phone sex case, they'd had a discussion coming back from talking to the manager that things were probably best left in the past. It was a long time ago. A painful, horrible time in Carmen's life that she wasn't willing to re-live again. He accepted and respected that and kept his mouth shut. No sense living in the past. Especially when the present and the future looked damn good.
No one expected a crazy bastard like Mathew Stobbard to be up for parole. In all intents and purposes, he should have been charged with attempted murder, but a good defense attorney had been willing to cough up a guilty plea if the charges were brought down to aggravated assault, forcible confinement and resisting arrest. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, the DA -whose name had long escaped Flack- had accepted and Mathew was sent to his new home for next fifteen years. Sing Sing Correctional Facility.
Apparently, good behaviour and playing nice with the inmates and being one of the guards' favourites had won over the parole board. It made Flack physically ill to think that a sonofabitch like that could be back out on the streets in a matter of weeks. Stobbard belonged somewhere with the likes of Zack. Burning in hell.
Flack checked his watch. It was quarter after eight. The property clerks office wasn't open for another fifteen minutes. He wondered when in the hell the place ever started implemented operating hours. Last time he'd been down there several months ago, someone was manning the booth twenty four-seven.
Just something else to piss me off, Flack thought, and abandoned his pacing in favour of taking a seat in the bank of crude metal and vinyl chairs across the hall. He pulled his cell phone out of his jacket pocket and dialled his home number. He wanted to make sure that Sam was up and ready for her ten thirty check up with the OB. It would be the first time he would be unable to make an appointment and he felt like shit about it. He had promised himself, and her, that he'd make it to every one. He didn't want to miss anything. But sometimes it was impossible to get away from the job, even for a break let alone a visit to the doctor, and Sam was far more understanding and accepting than he was. The only thing that made him feel slightly better was knowing that she wouldn't have to go alone. Adam had offered to take her and apparently was pretty damn excited about. Looking forward to hearing his unborn nephew's heartbeat.
"You woke me up," Sam grumbled in way of greeting.
"Rise and shine sleeping beauty," he teased.
"I had my alarm set for nine," she informed him. "I still had another forty five minutes to go."
"That's only an hour and a half until your appointment. By the time you actually get out of bed and get ready and all that, that only leaves about half an hour to get there. And seeing as you walk just a bit slower and with a waddle…"
"Did you call to insult me, Detective?" she asked. By the tone of her voice he could tell she was taking the good natured teasing with a grain of salt. And that she had a smile on her face.
"I was just calling to check up on you guys," he replied. "Making sure you were up."
"Well I am now," she said.
"Sorry."
"I guess you're forgiven," she said with a sigh. "Your son on the other hand.."
"Still being a little shit, huh?"
"He didn't calm down until three thirty in the morning. And was right back at it again as soon as I opened my eyes and grabbed the phone. I'm sorry that things were so bad last night and you couldn't sleep. I should have just slept on the couch. You were pretty grumpy this morning when you left."
"I didn't even wake you up before I left," Flack said.
"That's my point. You always wake me up to say so long. And when you didn't, I figured you were probably pretty pissed that you didn't get very good sleep last night."
"I left you a note," Flack reminded her.
"I know…but still…"
"It wasn't just your fault, Sam," Flack told her. "I know how uncomfortable things are getting for you and that the baby likes to stay up and cause hell all night. But it wasn't just that…"
"Something to do with whatever Gerrard called you about last night?" she asked curiously.
He sighed. "A little bit," he admitted. "It's just an old case from when I was a uniform. I never expected this particular perp to ever be considered for parole. So I need to get the old case files and what not and go over them so I know what I'm talking about at the hearing."
"Was it really bad?" she asked. "The case?"
"Bad enough. Punk ass boyfriend laying a beating on his girlfriend. Nearly killed her. Defence offered up a guilty plea to aggravated assault and forcible confinement and resisting arrest. We had him on attempted murder and the fucking DA accepts the plea. Only sentenced to fifteen years. Can you believe that?"
"I've heard worse unfortunately," Sam said with a sigh. "There's a lot of asshole men out there that get off on stuff like that. I could name a couple, but we won't go there."
"No," Flack said. "We won't. But that's what was bugging my ass last night. And today. It wasn't just you tossing and turning and driving me nuts. And I'm sorry if I was a bit a jack ass about it all."
"You were," she admitted. "But it's okay. I forgive you."
He smiled. Across the hall, the metal gate was rolled up for the registration desk of the clerk's office and he stood up. "You make sure you eat breakfast," he said, heading across the hall. "I don't want you skipping meals like you've been doing lately. You and the baby need all the nutrients you can get. Okay? Are you listening to me?"
"Yes, I'm listening, daddy," she teased.
"And please be careful getting in and out of the shower. You're starting to get a little top heavy and.."
She laughed. "Don, stop while you're ahead."
"I'm just saying that…"
"I know what you're saying. And two nights ago you were saying how much you liked them and doing dirty things to them."
"I wasn't saying I don't love them. I was just saying you need to be careful now that you can't see your feet because of your stomach and your boobs."
"On that happy thought, I am hanging up now and you can actually do some police work. I mean, that's what you do, right? You are a policeman are you not?"
"Detective, actually," he said with a grin.
"Smart ass," she responded.
"Can I help you?" the officer behind the desk asked as Flack stepped up to it.
Flack held up his hand for the guy to wait. "Call me?" he asked into the phone. "Let me know how things went?"
"It's just a check up, Donnie."
"Call me," he told her.
"I will," she promised. "I need to go and feed the monster."
"He gets all the evil DNA from you," Flack informed her.
Sam laughed. "Sure he does…"
"I'll let you go," he said. "I love you."
"I love you, too," she told him, and hung up.
Flack pressed end and snapped his phone closed and slipped it into his pocket. "What?" he asked the grizzled uniform.
The guy was well past his prime and had probably long ago decided he couldn't hack it on the streets and didn't have the clout to climb the NYPD ladder. So he'd accepted a position in the basement as opposed to retiring earlier than expected.
"Very sweet," the uniform scoffed.
"Yeah? Mind your own business. What? Was I holding you up from sitting on your ass all day?"
"What do you want?"
"I need some old evidence," Flack said, pulling a folded piece of paper from his other pocket. He unfolded it and sat it on the desk. "My CO's name and signature is on it and everything."
The uniform looked at the paper. "Could take a couple of days," he said.
"I need it now," Flack told him.
"This evidence is almost nine years old!" the uniform argued.
"So? I'll wait. I have all day."
He sighed and slid off his stool and handed Flack a clipboard and a pen. "Fill this out…name, date, badge number…"
"I know the drill," Flack said and went back and sat in the chair across the hall.
The uniform stood behind the desk for several minutes, staring at the young detective.
"I can always come back and help you look if you want," Flack offered.
The other man simply shook his head and disappeared to find the evidence.
"I didn't think so," Flack mumbled, and set to work on the form resting in his lap.
Adam could barely contain his excitement. He hadn't had a shared day off with his sister since she'd started at the lab, and with their busy professional and personal lives, neither of them had been able to find the time in the past months to just hang out together. Grab some lunch and walk through Central Park and just talk like they used to. His sister was his closest and truest confidant. His best friend outside of Gus. And there were things that he could discuss and share with his sister that he'd never felt comfortable sharing with anyone else.
They had been through a lot together. Especially as kids. And the pain and suffering and torment had made them closer than many brothers and sisters. His sister meant the world to him. She had often put herself in harms way with their dad just to keep Adam safe. She was the one that got in between them when their dad was laying a beating on her younger brother. Interfering and attempting to defend Adam only made the beats Sam got even worse. But she was quick to come to his aid and did it time and time again to make things less severe for him.
He'd often wondered if his dad had ever done more than just beat Sam. He could clearly remember nights when he'd be lying in bed, terrified as he heard his father, drunk as a skunk, mumbling incoherently as he stumbled down the hall and into Sam's room. There'd been no noises after that, and twenty minutes later Sam would come out of her room with her pyjamas a little messed and sneak into Adam's and shake him awake and whisper, 'Shove over, peanut. Dad passed out in my room. I need a place to sleep.'
Adam could remember that as if it was yesterday. It didn't cross his mind very often now that he was older. He'd never asked Sam if their father had ever done anything sexual to her. He'd thought about finding a delicate way to bring it up, especially after they got out of New York City and started over again in Phoenix. But she always seemed happy and upbeat and didn't appear to be hiding anything that painful and traumatic from anyone. And he was sure, if something like that had have ever happened, she would have told him. Or somebody.
Or would she? He thought as he watched his older sister as she filled out forms at the reception desk at her doctor's office. Sam wasn't the type to just offer up that kind of information. She kept a lot of her childhood memories to herself. It was her way of dealing with things. But Adam was pretty sure that it had happened. He could remember those incidences with his father lasting for at least a couple of years. And maybe even longer when he was too young to care or even remember.
He felt sick to his stomach thinking about it. And he felt an immense rage that he'd never experienced before. That the man who had given them both life could do something so horrendous and disgusting to his own daughter.
"We can go in now, Peanut," Sam called to him, snapping her brother out of the trance he'd fallen into.
He smiled. And blushed a little. Other than Gus, Sam was the only one he could tolerate calling him by the pet name she'd bestowed on him many years ago. He gathered up their winter coats pilled on the chair beside him and stood up and headed over to where she waited at the entrance to small hallway that led to the exam rooms.
"Are you okay?" Sam asked. "You were a little spacey there for a second."
"I was just thinking about something," he replied, following her through the door and down the hall.
"What something?" she inquired.
"Work stuff," he told her. "The massive backlog in trace that I am just so excited to be away from for an entire day. You should have seen the look on Mac's face when I told him I needed the day off. He was not too impressed to say the least. I thought for a second he just may kill me."
"Mac's harmless," Sam said.
"You only think that's way because you're his favourite."
"Give me break," Sam laughed.
"You are definitely his pet. I don't see him making anyone else an office of their own and letting them into his personal space. He lets you go through his files and answer his phone calls. That is just not Mac. He even lets you book his personal appointments and gets you to send flowers and gifts to Stella. You've even picked up his dry cleaning. Mac doesn't let anyone get that close to him. I bet you even know his shirt size."
"He's a large with a sixteen neck," Sam said quickly.
"My point exactly! No one knows that stuff about Mac. He's a mystery to all of us. I think other than Stella, you know the most about him."
"Pays to be nosy, Peanut," Sam said. "And he's my boss. And he was gracious enough to find something for me to do as opposed to forcing me to go on sick leave. He was just being a nice guy. He does have a nice side to him. He's not just all gruff and hard ass and Marine Mac."
"I don't know about that," Adam mumbled, than caught the hard glare his sister gave him. "Well it's true! I've had a couple run ins with him and he was anything but nice. And I like Mac and he's a fair boss to work for, but I would not want to really piss him off and get on his bad side. I mean, he's capable of killing someone."
"We all are," Sam pointed out.
"But he can do it with his bare hands!" Adam cried.
"I promise you I will protect you if he ever comes after you," Sam teased, as the receptionist led them to an examination room. "And if anyone is his favourite, it's you."
"Yeah, right," Adam snorted, helping his sister into one of the chairs before sitting down beside her.
"He talks about you a lot," Sam said, toeing off her shoes. Knowing the first thing the doctor would say would be to take them off and jump on the scale. "He's always telling me how smart you are. That you seem to know a lot about everything and that you're organized and keep things running smoothly."
"He said all of that?" Adam asked incredulously.
Sam nodded. "He also told me he found you quite amusing. In a good way."
Adam's face brightened. "Mac thinks I'm funny? He told you he finds me funny?"
"That's what he told me," Sam said.
"Wow," Adam said in disbelief, shaking his head. "You think you know a guy and than BAM! Hits you with something like that."
"There's a lot of things we all don't know about each other," Sam said. "Even me and you, Peanut."
He frowned. "I like to think we know everyone about each other," he said.
Sam gave a small smile. "A woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets," she told him.
Adam didn't know how to respond. He was surprised at her all but confessing that she'd been keeping things from him, and it added to his theory that something terrible had happened to her at the hands of their father.
"Look, Sammie, if there's something you need to tell me, about dad…"
The doctor came breezing into the room before Adam could finish his sentence. He sat and watched, saying very little as the basic examination went down. Getting on the scale, peeing in a cup to have the urine measured for protein, asking a million and one questions, especially personal ones, that Adam didn't care to hear the answer for. This was his sister. He did not want details on her overwhelming sexual desire and what sexual positions were the best at that stage of the pregnancy.
At the end of the visit, the doctor told Sam to lie on the table and pull her pants down slightly and lift her top up.
"So you're the proud uncle," Doctor Lightheart commented with a smile.
Adam nodded.
"Your sister was telling me you wanted to hear the heart beat."
"That would be the coolest thing ever," he declared.
"Just go ahead and stand by your sister and we'll give the baby a listening to," the doctor said, picking up a handheld device called a Doppler and following him to the exam table.
"I'm kinda nervous," he admitted, reaching down to take his sister's hand.
"Why?" Sam asked, smiling up at him.
"Never been an uncle before," Adam reasoned. "I'm excited."
The doctor switched the Doppler on and held the transmitter to Samantha's bare stomach. Almost immediately the room was filled with what sounded like, to Adam at least, like rushing water. This was all new to him. He'd never even been around a pregnant woman, never mind been an expectant uncle. And just before he got the chance to ask just what that sound was, a second sound, much louder and more persistent, poked through. The steady, strong heart beat that belonged to his unborn nephew.
"That's him?" he asked the doctor excitedly.
She nodded.
Tears welled in Adam's eyes. He had never heard anything more beautiful in his life.
And he made a vow, ride there and then, that his nephew would own a piece of his heart and soul forever.
All the evidence and records were there. Crime scene photographs and pictures taken of Carmen both at the scene and in the hospital. The clothes she'd been wearing that night and the knife that Mathew had drove deep into her stomach. The tape of the original 911 call that had been placed by a concerned neighbour who had heard the commotion across the hall followed by the horrific sound of a woman screaming and pleas for help. The DD-5 report that listed Flack as the arresting officer.
Every single shred of what had happened that night sat in the box still sealed as it sat in the visitor's chair at the side of Flack's desk. It had taken the officer down in the basement of One Police Plaza nearly two hours to find what Flack had requested. The sides and the top of the heavy cardboard coated in inches of dust and the slip of paper attached to the front displaying Carmen's first and last name turning turning yellow from age and elements.
He had wanted to get to the case right away, but when he finally returned to the precinct found that there were stacks of files piled on his desk -most likely dropped off there by Scagnetti who wanted Flack to do his fair share of work on their active cases- that demanded immediate attention. And judging by the level of activity and noise in the bullpen, it was going to be a crazy day and Flack expected his phone to start ringing off the hook any second.
His main concern was taking the evidence home with him. Gerrard had already told him to spend all his free time on it if he had to. That wasn't the part that bothered Flack. Spare time wasn't something that rolled around to often, but when it did, he and Sam usually spent it at home because the pregnancy was tiring her out and leaving her no energy to want to leave the house once she got in from work. And that was okay by him. The more quiet time he got to spend with her the better. Turn off the phones, have some take out and than curl up on the couch with a movie or a game. Or just sit there in the stillness and silence with the lights turned down low and just talk. Work was usually left at the door so they chatted about anything that popped into their heads. Usually it was childhood memories or the hopes and dreams they had for their son. Other times it was just mindless chit chat about news events or likes and dislikes or playful banter. They laughed a lot more now that the worries about the baby were behind them. They were more relaxed and calm around each other and enjoyed being together. They were getting along better than they had in the past nine eight months since they'd first hooked up.
His main fear over taking Carmen's old case home with them was the chance of Sam stumbling upon the files and the pictures before he had a chance to tell her about what had happened. And how he and Carmen had met all those years before and had agreed to keep the past in the past.
Flack almost hated the idea of admitting to somewhat of a history with Carmen more than Sam knowing the details of the case.
"Crimestopper," Danny greeted as he appeared before Flack's desk. "Got your message. Sorry I didn't get back to ya until now. Got stuck in shit traffic coming back from talking to a witness in Queens. What's up? You sounded like it was urgent."
Flack had called Danny an hour ago. Twice. And got his best friend's voice mail each time. Both messages asking the CSI to come and see him at his desk ASAP. And if he wasn't there, to call him and they'd meet somewhere.
"Mathew Stobbard," Flack said simply.
Danny blinked. "What about him?" he asked.
"He's up for parole."
"You gotta be kidding me," Danny said. "That's a sick fucking joke to be playing on someone, Flack."
"No joke, Messer," the detective told him, slapping his hand on the top of the evidence box. "Just picked this up this morning. Gerrard called me last night saying I needed to re-familiarize myself with the case to I knew what I was talking about when Mathew's parole hearing comes up."
"When's that going down?" Danny asked.
"Couple weeks," Flack replied.
Danny sighed heavily and shook his head in disbelief. "How?" he asked. "After what that bastard did to Carmen? How in the hell can he possibly be up for parole?"
"He only got fifteen years, Dan-o. Give or take the year and a bit he sat in jail waiting for a trial and brownie points for good behaviour, and we really should have seen this coming. I guess I just never expected it. I haven't given that asshole much thought over the years to be honest."
"I just washed my hands on him once he got locked up," Danny admitted, eyes on the evidence box. "I still can't believe that DA fell for that plea bargain bullshit. That was attempted murder. Cut and dry. And they all but gave him a slap on the wrist."
"It's the nature of the beast," Flack sighed.
"This is exactly what I was talking about that time we were talkin' at the bar during Mac's IAB fiasco," Danny said, picking up the box and setting it on the floor before sitting down in the chair. "Remember? When I asked you why we did this job? And you came out with that deep yet extremely lame answer about doing it for that one time someone thanks you for catching the prick that killed their kid."
"Those weren't my exact words," Flack said. "But yeah…and I meant every bit of what I said. Only somewhere between now and then, the reasons for doing the job have drastically changed."
"What you mean?" Danny asked.
"I mean that now it's not just me. I've got two damn good reasons to hold onto my career and make the best of it and climb the ladder the best I can. Can't stay where I am forever. I gotta kid on the way, Messer. I'll probably have other kids. And I can't take care of a family on what I'm making now and even what I'll be making if I pass that exam and become Sergeant."
"So much for it being about to protect and serve," Danny said.
Flack shrugged. "Gotta be honest. I work so I can support my family. And I have a job I'm damn good at so why even consider looking at other fields? Just suck it up and take it one day at a time and hope for the best. And I like to think that me doing this job is making this city safer for my kid."
"It's never going to be safe Flack with assholes like Mathew on the street," Danny said.
Flack just nodded.
"Carmen know?" Danny asked.
The detective shook his head and leaned back in his chair.
"Someone is going to have to tell her," Danny said. "I mean, I don't mind doing it, but.."
"I'll do it," Flack told his best friend. "I'm the one that has to go and testify at this thing to attempt to keep his sorry ass in jail. I might as well be the one to break the bad news to her. How come I always seem to come out looking like the prick?"
"'Cause you are one," Danny teased. "'Cause you're good with the victims, Flack. You're better at handling the emotional break downs and what not. Look how you dealt with Stella over that whole nightmare with that shit head Frankie."
"Honestly, Mess, telling Carmen is the least of my worries," Flack admitted.
"Yeah? Why?"
"Carmen I can control if she gets all hysterical and shit. What really is getting to me is the thought of having to tell Sam all of this. Not just about the parole hearing and being involved with this case. But having to tell her that Carmen and I have history. Not a scandalous one or anything, but there was still a little something there. And Sam's going to be pissed I never told her. That Carmen and I just kept it secret and pretend we never knew each other."
"There was no reason to tell her. Or anyone else," Danny said. "Carmen wanted it in the past and we all agreed to that."
"Sam's going to be my wife, Danny. She's carrying my son. And I shouldn't have kept it from her that me and her best friend already knew each other. I've been keeping way too much back from her and it has to stop. Not good to start a marriage and a family having all of this hidden away."
"How you going to tell her?" Danny asked.
"I don't know. I seriously don't know. Sit her down and just tell her about what happened all those years ago and everything that went on and hope that she doesn't kick the shit out of me or toss my ass to the curb."
"Something tells me she'll surprise you," Danny said. "The new and improved Brooklyn. She's really mellowed out in the last couple of months."
Flack laughed. "I don't know about that. Yesterday we nearly got run over by a bike messenger and I swear to you, Messer, she unleashed a profanity laced tirade that made me blush."
"That's my girl," Danny said with a grin.
Flack sighed heavily and closed his eyes. Contemplating his next move.
"You're scared of her aren't ya," Danny stated.
"Shitless," he admitted.
"Whats the first order of business?" the CSI asked. "Piss of the BFF or the wife?"
Flack opened his eyes and took a deep breath. Letting it out slowly, he leaned forward and grabbed his cell phone from where it sat next to the computer and dialled the familiar number.
She answered after three things.
"It's Flack," he said in way of greeting. "We need to talk. Think you could meet me somewhere? Say Belluso's in about an hour?….yeah, it's pretty important and I don't feel like doing it over the phone…alright, see ya than."
He pressed end and tossed the cell onto his desk.
Mathew Stobbard had opened the floodgates to Hell.
She was sitting at a small table for two at the back. Her hair pushed behind her ears and her chin resting in her hand as her eyes skimmed through a wrinkled copy of that day's Times. A half empty mug of French Vanilla cappuccino sitting on the table beside her.
Flack pushed his way through the lunch crowd that packed the small diner/bakery. He was running a half an hour behind and was just relieved to see her still there. He'd gotten up the nerve in the car on the way over to just come right out and tell things the way it was. To be sympathetic and accepting of her reaction. No matter how painful and difficult it may be to witness.
"Sorry I'm late," he said, pulling out the chair across from her and sitting down.
"I'm getting used to it," Carmen said with a smile and closed the newspaper. "You and Tim seem to have the same problem. Not knowing when to take a proper break."
"You're starting to sound like Sam," Flack told her, waving a waitress over and placing an order for a refill of Carmen's drink and an extra large black, three sugar for himself.
"She worries about you," Carmen told him. "It's what women in love do. Worry about their men. Have you heard from her? About her appointment? I was hoping she'd call to say how it went."
"She called to say that everything went good and the baby's heart beat is strong and her blood pressure is where it should be. But she wasn't too happy that she'd put on another five pounds. She's worried about not being able to get rid of it quickly."
"What do you think?" Carmen asked. "If she doesn't."
Flack shrugged. "I'll love her no matter what. Doesn't matter to me if she's got some meat on her bones. She's still Sam."
Carmen smiled over the rim of her mug as she finished off her cappuccino. "You fall in love more and more every day," she told him.
"She gave me some last night so it's put me in pretty sappy kind of mood," Flack said with a laugh. Smiling at the young waitress as she sat their beverages down in front of them and picked up Carmen's empty mug.
"So?" Carmen asked. "You said you wanted to talk. That you had something to tell me. What is it? If it's about Sam's baby shower, Stella and I have that all planned out for the weekend before the wedding."
"It's not about that," Flack responded, sipping his coffee.
She frowned. "Sounds serious."
"It is."
"Is there something you're not telling me, Flack? About Sam or the baby? Is everything okay? Are they healthy?"
He nodded. "Everything is great with both of them, Carmen. Sam's doing good, Kieran's getting bigger and stronger every day. For once, things are going damn good in our personal life."
"Good," Carmen said. "So why are we here then?"
Flack sighed and rubbed his hands alongside of the china mug. "I've got some bad news, Carmen."
"About? Jesus, Don, is there something wrong with you? You're not sick or anything are you?"
"No. I'm fine. At least as far as I know. This is work related. Well, somewhat."
"You're talking riddles," Carmen scolded him.
He stared into the black, steaming liquid. "I have to tell Sam about me and you. About how we knew each other a long time ago."
"There was no me and you, Flack. It never got off the ground."
"I know that," he said. "And if she wasn't in my life and Speedle wasn't in yours, I'd say let's try and pick up where things left off. But she is in my life and I love her more than I ever thought I could love another human being. And that's why I need to tell her. I can't keep things from her."
"It's just one of those things she doesn't need to know, Don," Carmen told him. "It's in the past. Nothing came of it? What does it matter?"
"I want her to hear it from me before she hears it from someone else."
"Who would she hear it from? I'm not planning on telling her."
"Trust me, telling her is the best thing to do. Because when she finds out that I was the arresting officer on your case…"
"Flack, how is she going to ever know that?"
He sighed. Turned troubled blue eyes to her confused green ones. "I got a call last night. Mathew's up for parole."
Carmen stared at him. Her brain not comprehending the words that had just escaped from his lips.
"He goes up before the parole board in a couple weeks," Flack continued. "I needed to go and get all the old evidence because they're going to want me to testify. And the DA is probably going to contact you to give a victim's impact statement. They're going to do everything in their power to make sure he stays locked up. Where he belongs."
She shook her head. She felt unable to move or speak.
"I wanted to be the one to tell you," Flack told her. "I was the first one there to see what he had done and I wanted to be the one to break this news. And I had to tell you that I need to tell Sam about all of this. I'm not asking permission, Carmen. I'm telling you that that's what I'm going to do. Just giving you the heads up."
"How?" she asked, finally finding her voice. "How can he be getting out"
"He served seven years already. Add in the time he put in while waiting for trial, and he's done half his sentence. Toss in good behaviour in prison and he's a candidate for parole. Or at least a hearing."
"He tried to kill me, Don. And he would have had you guys not gotten there as quick as you did. If Danny hadn't have answered his phone that night…I would have been dead."
"I know. And I wish that I could guarantee to you that he isn't going to be granted release. Truth is, I don't know what's going to happen. He's gotta powerhouse of a lawyer and you working at the lab and with the arresting officer may actually give the defence a leg to stand on."
"What?" Carmen shook her head, trying to sort her thoughts. "What does that have to do with anything?"
"It could throw my testimony right out the window. They can argue conflict of interest because not only do we work together, you're best friends with my wife and the godmother of my unborn child. They could just say I'm too emotionally attached to you to be taken seriously."
"That's a bunch of bullshit!" Carmen snapped. "You're the least biased person I know, Don! You wouldn't lie for anyone."
"I know that. You know that. But the defence will use whatever they can to get their client out of there."
"So that's it?" she asked angrily. "We just throw in the towel and accept he's a free man?"
Flack shook his head. "I never said that."
"Well it sure the hell sounds like it!" she fought to control her temper. "And what happens when, and if, he does get out? I just wait around for him to come back and finish the job?"
"That's not going to happen, Carmen. None of us will let that happen."
"He won't be happy until he finishes what he started, Flack. And none of you will be able to stop him. I know Mathew! I know what he's like. I know how sneaky and manipulative he is and he will find a way to sneak past all of you and get to me."
Flack shook his head. "That won't happen."
"You can't promise me that, Don! You can't promise me that he's going to stay behind bars. And you can't promise me that if he gets out he won't come after me."
"I can promise you that we will stop him before he can get any where near you."
"That's not good enough. So what happens now? Do I throw in the towel? Pack up my life and call it quits? Leave New York and find some other place to run to?"
"Of course not," Flack said.
"You don't know what he's capable of!"
"I do know what he's capable of Carmen!" Flack struggled to keep his cool. "I've been doing this job a hell of a long time and I know what guys like him are all about. So don't sit there and tell me I don't. I saw with my own two eyes what he did to you! I know what he's capable of."
Carmen shook her head adamantly. "I can't live like that. Looking over my shoulder all the time. Wondering when he's going to come after me. Worrying about what he might do to Tim when he finds out I've moved on with my life."
"Speedle's a big boy," Flack told her. "He can take care of himself. And no one is saying Mathew is going to get out. He's up for parole. Doesn't mean he's going to get it."
Carmen snorted. "Assholes like him rule the world, Don. It's a proven fact."
"Not true," Flack argued. "That's not true. If it was, Zack would still be here. And he got what he deserved in the end and so will Mathew."
"What are you proposing?" she laughed dryly. "Get into Rikers and get rid of him? Find an inmate to shiv him?"
"Don't talk fucking stupid, Carmen. All right? I'm saying that if we nail this hearing, his ass will be in there for the rest of his sentence. And if something happens to him before it's up, oh well. No big loss."
"I can't take the chance that he's going to come after me or hurt someone I love. He won't stop, Don. He won't stop until he destroys me. He will go after everyone I love. Tim, you, Sam and the baby. Do you really want that happening? Him getting to Sam and the baby to get back at me."
"You're talking a lot of nonsense, Carmen!"
"Do you want that? Because he won't give a shit who he hurts. Do you really want something happening to your wife and your son?"
Flack sighed. "Of course not," he said. "But that's what I'm here for. To protect them."
"Not even you can protect them from someone like that," Carmen told him.
"No one is going to hurt my wife and my kid," Flack said. "He won't get anywhere near them. Because I will kill him if he even thinks about it. And Tim would do the same thing to protect you."
"I can't put him in that situation," Carmen argued. "I can't expect that from him."
"He loves you!" Flack shouted, drawing the attention of other patrons. "And he's a grown man and it's up to him to make the choice whether or not he wants to stick around or not!"
"Tim does not deserve to be caught up with Mathew. No one does. And the best thing is to let Tim go so that he doesn't get stick in the middle if…"
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Flack felt like exploding on her but fought to keep his voice to a harsh whisper when he noticed the irritated glares coming from the other patrons. "Are you listening to yourself, Carmen? Mathew nearly destroyed your life back then but you managed to pick yourself up and continue on. When in the hell are you so willing to throw your life away because of that sonofabitch?"
"Because it's not fair to Tim. Mathew could come after us and Tim could get hurt. And I don't want that to happen. I would rather die than see him get hurt."
"That's the stupidest fucking thing I ever heard," Flack declared. "When you love someone you stick by them no matter what. You don't bail on them when things are tough. That's when you're suppose to hold onto them even tighter and do whatever you have to do protect them."
"You don't know what Mathew is like."
Flack slammed his palm down on the table, startling Carmen. His blue eyes furious. "You know what? I do know what he's like! Zack. Remember him? He came all the way to New York City to find Sam and fuck her up. He showed up at the lab even after I beat the shit out of him with a gun and if it wasn't for Speedle who the fuck knows what he would have done. But I never bailed on her because Zack was fucking crazy."
"You weren't even with her yet!" Carmen argued.
"Does that matter? What does that matter? It didn't stop me from being interested in her and wanting to protect her. It didn't prevent me from hooking up with her. I could handle Zack just like Speedle can handle Mathew."
"And she never should have asked you to go there that night and lay a beating on her either," Carmen fumed.
"Ask me? She never fucking asked me! I went there because the motherfucker deserved to have his face rearranged. She never asked me to do it. I did it all on my own because I wanted him to realize what it felt like to have someone bigger and stronger laying a beating on you. I taught him his fucking lesson. But she never asked me to do it! And you know what, if that asshole was still alive, I'd do it again if I had to!"
"Well aren't you just the most loyal man servant on the face of the earth," Carmen said dryly.
Flack laughed and shook his head. "Don't even try this tough girl, Queen bitch bullshit with me, Devine. I already live with a woman just like that and she doesn't get away with it either."
"It wasn't fair to you to get mixed up with the likes of Zack."
"No. That's where you're wrong. It wasn't fair for Sam to get mixed up with the likes of Zack and be treated like she was. I just happened to come along at a time in her life when she needed someone the most. I helped her because I wanted to. Not because she asked me or I felt obligated to do it. She never deserved what happened to her and neither did you."
"I am not putting Tim through all of that," Carmen remained adamant.
Flack shook his head in disgust. "You have a guy who'd be willing to walk through hell for you. Die for you even and you're just going to toss that all away?"
"It's the right thing to do, Don. For Tim."
The detective sighed heavily and nodded slowly. "Sounds like you got your mind made up, than."
"It's my decision. Deal with it. And thanks for at least having the decency to be the one to tell me. You didn't have to."
"I wanted to. Because you know, I am capable of being a decent human being once in a while," Flack stood up and reached into his back pocket for his wallet. Taking out a ten he tossed it on the table. "I'm done here. I need to get back to work. And you need to go and concentrate on growing the fuck up."
"How does anyone go from being a nice guy to a prick in five seconds?" Carmen sniped as he walked away.
He turned on his heel and went back to where she was sitting. Laying his palms down on the table top, he leaned down and fixed her with icy, penetrating eyes. And for the first time, Carmen found herself terrified of him.
"You know something Carmen? You know what bothers me the most about this whole thing with Zack and you thinking I should have just walked away and minded my own business and let Sam deal with it on her own?"
"I never said.."
"What bothers me the most is when I think about what could have happened. If Sam had never come to New York City when she did. If I had never met her and I hadn't taken it upon myself to help her. What would have happened to her if I hadn't have cared enough to protect her. She wouldn't be here right now. And neither would my kid. And that's what eats at me more than anything."
He stood there, looming over her for several long seconds before finally straightening himself up, turning on his heel and stalking angrily away. None too politely pushing his way through the crowd of people as he headed for the front door.
Carmen's hands shook. She had never seen Flack like angry before. And she hoped she would never have to see it so up close and personal ever again.
Tears welled in her eyes as her gaze slipped from her friend's departing figure and down at that ring that sparkled so beautifully on her finger.
She had to let him go. It was the right thing to do. For him. It would hurt like hell for a long, long time. She'd never, ever love anyone ever again. She didn't deserve to hurting Tim like that.
She just hoped and prayed that one day, he would understand and accept that she had had no other choice.
After Flack had taken off to talk to Carmen, Danny had sat and pondered what his next move would be. He knew he just couldn't sit around and let things come crumbling down around him. Mathew being up for parole was going to cause major issues for everyone personally involved, and even those just on the sidelines. The shit was going to hit the fan. And Danny needed to cushion some of the blows that would come with that.
Once he figured out his first move, he headed back upstairs to the lab an sought out Speed. His friend was in the trace lab working diligently on some evidence brought in that morning. One look at Danny's face and the tone of his voice had told Speed that his friend business when he said that they needed to talk.
By the time that Flack had finished with Carmen and returned to the lab and scoured the place looking for the two of them, the detective found them in the employee lounge. And he just knew, by the tension that hung in the air and the sullen, dark expression on Speed's face, that Danny had felt an urgency and sense of obligation to give him a heads up.
"What's up, Flack?" Danny asked, as he perched on the edge of the coffee table in front of the couch where Speed sat, staring out the window. "How'd it go?"
Flack shrugged. "He told you?" he directed the question at Speed.
He nodded. "You went and talked to Carmen?"
"Wish I could tell you it went good," Flack said. "But honestly, it shit canned pretty quick."
"That bad?" Danny inquired. "She cry? Rant and rave? What?"
"She's pretty fucking pissed," Flack said.
"Something tells me that's a major understatement," Speed mumbled. "You here with more bad news?"
"'Fraid so," Flack said with a sigh and took a seat on the arm of the couch. "Devine just told me she's going to break up with you."
Danny arched both eyebrows and sighed and shook his head. Taking his glasses off her rubbed at his eyes.
Speed snorted and shook his head. "Why did I figure that would be her initial reaction?"
"She's worried about Mathew getting out and coming after her and doing something to you," Flack told him. "And I understand her thinking that way, but I told her that there's no guarantee he's getting out and that no one would even let him get near her again."
"You also tell her I'm a big boy and can take care of myself?" Speed asked.
"I did," Flack replied. "But she didn't listen to a damn thing I had to say. Typical woman. Sam's the same way. She thinks I just pull whatever outta my ass or talk to hear my own voice. How much did Danny tell you?"
"If you're asking whether or not I'm pissed at the fact neither of you ever mentioned you already knew each other, I'm not," Speed said. "I think it's odd that you guys pretended you never met before and all that, but I understand that she wanted to keep that shit in the past and you were going along with what she wanted. You gonna tell Sam?"
"Do I have a choice?" Flack asked. "Better I tell her than someone else."
"Good luck with that," Speed said. "All those hormones going crazy, she's liable to kill you. So when's this going down? When's Carmen going to drop the bomb on me?"
Flack shrugged. "No idea. I just know that's her game plan. I wanted you to know before hand. So you could prepare yourself for it. Come up with a defensive strategy ahead of time."
"Thanks," Speed sighed. "And you might want to come up with one of your own in case your girl goes nuts."
"My couch is always free," Danny offered light heartedly.
"I'm hoping it doesn't come to that," Flack said, although he knew that Sam wasn't going to be thrilled with his confession, or finding out what had really happened to her best friend, he didn't see a reason for her to completely lose it on him.
"This is the biggest bunch of bullshit I ever heard," Speed declared, running his hands over his face.
"Just wanted to give you a heads up so you didn't go in there blind and have the bomb dropped on you," Flack told him.
The CSI nodded, took a deep breath and stood up. "I need to get back to work," he announced, and left the room.
Danny and Flack looked at each other.
"That went better than I thought it would," Flack commented. "I was expecting him to snap. That was me and Sam was pulling that shit, I'd be going nuts and hunting her down and talking some damn sense into her."
"It's the way he is, Flack," Danny said. "That's how he deals with shit. Closes everyone off and keeps it all inside. He's always been like that."
"Not healthy," the detective declared.
"What? You a shrink now? Gimme a break. It's all that therapy you're going to brainwashing you. You're starting to think like a therapist."
"That therapist saved my relationship," Flack declared. "And he keeps me and Sam sane most days."
"What's the date today?" the CSI asked curiously, cleaning his glasses on the bottom of his shirt.
"The thirteenth," Flack replied.
"And it's Friday, right?" he asked as he slipped his glasses on.
Flack nodded.
"Than that explains everything," Danny concluded.
"Makes sense," Flack said with a nod. "Now if Jason Voorhees comes in here in his hockey mask and a machete, no offence, but its every man for himself and I'll be the first one out the door."
"That's it, Don, save yourself," he laughed.
"Sorry, Messer. Love ya like a brother, but there's way I'm getting my head chopped off or my guts torn out trying to save you. I've seen how those movies go down."
"Nice to know how loved and appreciate the Messer charm is around here," Danny said. "Can you honestly believe this is all happening?"
"Honestly, the way my life has been going lately, nothing surprises me anymore."
"Think she'll actually do it? Dump him because of that prick Mathew?"
"She's pretty determined," Flack said. "She's convinced it's the best thing for Speed. And you know what it's like when Devine gets an idea cemented in her head."
"Think Speed will go down that easy?"
"He'll put up a good fight, but I don't think he even he's going to be able to change her mind," Flack sighed.
"So what do we do now?" Danny asked, as they headed for the door.
"We work, as Mac would say," the detective replied. "And make sure that Mathew Stobbard doesn't get a chance to see the light of day ever again."
A/N: This would have been posted this afternoon. But those major issues with the site held it back. Hope it was worth the wait!
Aphina: I hope I do Carmen and the whole Mathew issue justice. I am really nervous and worried about it. Hope I can pull it all off.
Brrtmclv: I just had this image in my head of Flack being the type who could just not take something like that. And Danny being the one to think how cool it is. Thanks for all your support. It means a lot to me.
Hope4sall: I wanted some Flack and Danny interaction. I just love them together. That baby is something else, huh? He's going to be a hell raiser for sure.
Blue: Lots of Mathew to come. Flack will surprise everyone when the time comes for that baby to arrive. He'll surprise himself the most.
Forest Angel: Yeah, Mathew will cause some issues for all involved. Stay tuned! Enjoy your vacation!
EddiesGirl: Danny is in awe at the miracle of life. He wants to get his hands dirty, so to speak.
Eva: The t-shirt! LOL! I couldn't resist putting that in! Flack and Danny are great. I love their friendship.
ImaSupernaturalCSI: Definitely Canadian Smarties! Canadian Smarties for all of you!
Wolfey lady: Thanks!! I am so glad you love my stuff!
Soccer: More to come! Thanks for the support!