Robin glared hard at Patrick but it was nothing he hadn't seen before. One would think he had suggested she do something vile the way she was acting. It was the only solution he had for her constant insomnia and nausea. He didn't want to think that her condition had worsened, but the nagging possibility would not leave him alone. It haunted him when he was awake, when he was asleep—or resting for five minutes at a time—when he was talking, when he was listening, when it was quiet, when it was loud, and when it was hopeless.

"I don't need a doctor. I'll be fine once I have Morgan in my arms." She spat at him as he led her through the doors to General Hospital.

"I'd just feel better if we knew what was going on with you medically." Patrick didn't add that it would be nice to get some answers since he had no idea what she was thinking anymore, what she was feeling. He had no control over the situation and no clues to help him out.

"I don't want to be here." Robin whispered, leaning into him. The room was starting to spin and she knew if she didn't sit down she would be sick. Again. It was the only constant she had. Crackers were nothing to look forward to. She had given up eating altogether during this awful week.

"Hey, it's alright. I've got you." Patrick assured her. "Do we need to stop for a minute?"

"Please don't make me do this, Patrick." Robin begged against the collar of his gray button-down.

He sifted his fingers through her hair and held her close, fighting back the urge to run away. "I need to know that you're okay. I'm sorry."

Robin lifted her head slowly and met his tormented stare. "Fine."

Patrick recognized the nurse who he had met the night of Robin's coma, the night of his exposure: Nurse Lee. He had volunteered before they left the apartment to go in with her, but Robin had promised she could handle a simple exam. She led Robin into the exam room and the door shut solidly behind them leaving Patrick feeling cold all over.

Ten minutes passed and there was still no answer. He had considered knocking, but that probably wouldn't be the best solution. He thought about calling someone, anyone, just to find some sort of distraction, but there was so much going on he couldn't think of who to call, not without feeling badly for interrupting their pain. Something wasn't right and he had given up naïve notions years ago that things would turn out how they should. Too many times bad things happened to good people. Too many times evil won.

Finally the door opened and Robin walked into his arms. He held her to him and rocked her, his mouth set in a tight line even though he had no way of knowing what the diagnosis would be. She had come out of the room looking the same as when she had come in. She wasn't distressed. She wasn't pale. She was expressionless. He pushed down his panic and rubbed his hands up and down her back.

"If you'll just give me a minute, I'd like to page the doctor." Nurse Lee informed him.

"Page what doctor?" Patrick asked. "Did you find out what was wrong?" Robin still hadn't spoken and that didn't sit well with him. When she went quiet, it usually meant she was preparing herself for the worst.

"Excuse me." Nurse Lee shoved past him.

"Robin, honey, what's going on?" Patrick insisted tilting her chin up and her head back. All he found in her cinnamon eyes was the same confusion he was currently feeling.

"I don't know." Robin answered. "We did the exam and then she stopped answering my questions."

Shit, Patrick thought. That meant bad. The conversation he had had with Alexis months ago jumped to the front of his brain and he groaned. Would his worst fears now be confirmed? Was he going to be forced to watch life slip away from her? Shaking his head, he shoved the dangerous thoughts out of his mind.

"If I admit I'm scared, will you keep it under wraps?" Robin whimpered.

It was as if she had read this mind. If she had the slightest inclination of just how terrified he was…He decided then and there not to tell her. "Who would believe that?" Patrick soothed her.

Twenty minutes later—twenty minutes of pacing, of praying, of hoping, of dreading—Patrick and Robin were finally brought to an office not far from the exam room. The name on the door didn't register in their minds at the time, but it should have. Robin couldn't feel anything except Patrick's hand intertwined with hers. She could hear her heart galloping against vulnerable ribs. She wasn't taking in enough oxygen. Patrick's body was reacting the exact same way and they didn't even know what this was all about. It took another five minutes for the doctor to even arrive.

Patrick's eyes narrowed in subtle recognition while Robin's widened in alarm. Dr. Ric Lansing pulled up a chair for himself and sat down behind his desk. "I assume Nurse Lee told you."

"No." They responded in unison.

"I apologize. She is still new here." Ric sighed. What good were nurses when they left the doctors to deliver the bad news? He was going to talk to Nurse Johnson and see about getting Kelly Lee fired. The last thing Robin needed right this second was stress. He knew there was little she could do to avoid it. Her son and cousin had been stolen within less than a day of each other and there had been not a single peep from the kidnappers in a week. And he was about to make it worse.

"You're scaring me." Robin whispered.

"There's no easy way to tell you this." Ric began desolately.

Patrick was about ready to climb out of his skin…or at least out of his chair so he could strangle this guy! Why was he drawing out the news, whatever it was? Obviously it was bad because neither Dr. Lansing nor Nurse Lee felt capable of delivering it easily. Fucking hospital policy!

"What did you find?" Robin inquired after another moment.

"You're pregnant." Ric blurted out. He had hoped for some kind of composure in the way he expressed the news, but the results were just too horrid for him to rely on practiced reactions.

"Pr—pregnant?" Robin choked out. "Is this some kind of joke?" He had broken her heart once before when he told her that her body was incapable of bringing a baby into this world and now he thought it was okay to change the diagnosis? She was going to kill him, she decided silently. She was going to stab him in the eye with a pencil. The nightmares that kept her up at night had only intensified since Morgan was taken. Pregnant? No. It was all a lie. He was lying to her. He knew how much she wanted a baby, how much she wanted Patrick's baby.

"Eight weeks along." Ric confirmed solemnly. Nothing in all of his training had prepared him for this moment. He wanted to hold his head in his hands and force them to get out. He wanted to be alone with his thoughts as much as he didn't want to be left to them.

Robin dropped her gaze to her hands her head shaking violently from side to side. She couldn't handle this again! She couldn't let herself dream for what would never be happening for her. They were wrong! They had to be wrong! Helplessly she lifted her eyes to the doctor's to see if maybe he was kidding. She figured she was an easy enough target right now. His eyes conveyed what she had prayed they wouldn't.

"Do you make it a goal to hurt me?" Robin viciously demanded slamming her hands against the arms of her chair. The pain barely registered. She could blame the shock or she could chalk this up to another result of her insomnia.

Ric didn't say anything. He was almost afraid to speak at all. Her rage was palpable and he couldn't pretend the boyfriend's silence didn't leave him feeling unnerved.

Robin bit blatantly into her bottom lip as the gravity of the situation hit her at full force. If she was pregnant, it meant she had exposed Patrick once again. He would have to be checked out for a second time; they would spend the next six months of her pregnancy waiting for his test results. This just went to prove that she couldn't keep his safe. She couldn't keep anyone safe. She didn't know if she could handle this.

Licking his bottom lip uneasily, Patrick spoke, "Since when is a baby a bad thing?" He couldn't ignore the ominous stare the doctor kept sending their way or the way Robin had shrunk into herself.

"You think this is a good idea?" Robin inquired skeptically.

Patrick stroked her knuckles with his thumb. "We're talking about a baby here."

"Robin, Patrick." Ric interrupted them. "There's something else."

"What?" Robin wondered. Whatever he was going to tell her must have explained the hollowness in his tone.

"This pregnancy…" Ric looked away.

"No, you look at us!" Patrick shouted. "You look us in the eye!" That old fear was creeping up his back and settling in-between his shoulder blades. What wasn't Dr. Lansing telling them? What was wrong?

"I know why you've been nauseous and unable to sleep." Ric began.

"Pregnancy symptoms." Robin declared with a pointed stare. She dared him to defy her logic. He who had told her that she could never conceive. He who had left her questioning her worth as a woman. He who couldn't hold her gaze for more than a few seconds at a time.

"No." Ric shook his head.

"Then what?" Patrick growled.

"Patrick, calm down." Robin pleaded. The doctor looked positively startled with what he was trying to say and she couldn't take any more of these long pauses.

"Your body is treating this baby like a disease." Ric informed them.

"A disease?" Robin sobered.

"Fighting it off until it can't survive." Ric went on.

"Thank you. We know what the body does to fight off diseases." Patrick grumbled angrily. A disease? Jesus. He had never heard anything like this. He had known the HIV would bring with it a lot of risks, but he hadn't thought a second more about it after Robin admitted to him that she couldn't bear children. He knew she had thought about it since then, before then, before they were even serious. She had most likely never thought she would be denied the opportunity to give life. He could have stopped this, Patrick realized. He could have warned her about Emily. He could have kept her out of that car. He could have waited for the ambulance. He could have left the towels where they were and let the detectives look for fibers that could have connected them to his brother before he was ever able to carry out his plan. He could blame the doctor all he wanted. At the end of the day, everything bad that had happened to Robin over the last eight months was his fault.

"Then do you also know this pregnancy can't continue?" Ric challenged.

Patrick felt his breath rush out of him.

"What do you mean?" Robin interrupted.

"Robin," Ric directed his response to her. "When you were in that car accident you were told you that pregnancy was no longer an option." He reminded her.

"Miracles happen." Robin countered.

"Not in this case." Ric announced.

"You said it was impossible!" Patrick yelled. "You told her that she couldn't conceive—"

"I told her she couldn't be a mother." Ric argued. "And that stands true."

Her face crumbled in pain. "But I am. I am a mother!"

"Your body isn't strong enough to carry this baby to term." Ric explained. "I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? You're sorry? You can keep your apologies and you can save the pitying stares for someone else!" Robin cried out.

Patrick wanted so badly to comfort her, but she shoved his hand away from her shoulder in anguish. It was a struggle but he found his voice, "What would you suggest we do?"

"Terminate the pregnancy as soon as possible." Ric advised.

"Terminate? But this baby is alive!" Robin shrieked. "It's alive!"

"It won't survive."

"There must be something that can be done to sustain the pregnancy."

"I wouldn't suggest it."

"I didn't ask for your suggestions, I'm asking for an alternative."

"If we don't terminate, the pregnancy will kill you." Ric confessed.

"Kill her?"

"I don't care." Robin spoke up, startling them.

"What do you mean, you don't care?" Patrick asked her.

"Patrick, this baby is you and me. We can't just pretend we never created it!"

"Sweetheart, you're not listening to the doctor. One or both of you will die." Patrick stressed each word, but nothing seemed to seep in.

"There have to be drugs or something. I've read about plenty of pregnancies like mine and they were still able to deliver and survive." Robin insisted.

"Your system is doubly compromised. The chances aren't in your favor."

"I don't care. I'm not…I can't…this is my baby." Robin whispered.

"This is a time bomb." Ric corrected sharply. "Even if we gave you drugs for it, it would either break down the cocktail you're currently on or wipe out your immune system completely. This wouldn't be like other pregnancies. You would be in excruciating pain all the time. You're both so weak; a simple disagreement would lead you to miscarry. I know you're going through a lot right now. There are no guarantees. I'm not saying it can't be done, only that it would be the worst experience of your life. It could very well be for nothing. Medically, there are no positive cases. Termination is the safest option."

"I don't agree."

"You don't have to agree, but I am right."

"I don't think you are."

"What kind of drugs?" Patrick wanted to know.

"We'd have to trick her immune system. Again, no guarantees. The insomnia may worsen—"

"She hasn't slept in seven days!" Patrick exploded.

"There's little I can do about that if she continues with the pregnancy."

Patrick turned to her. "Robin, listen to me."

"No. I don't want to hear it! No! I'm not terminating this pregnancy! You act like they just flip a switch and it's over." Robin accused, trembling.

"I know it would be awful, but there's no other choice."

"Yes there is! So it's never been done? I don't care about odds. I don't care about statistics. Eight years ago medicine told me that I wouldn't last six months."

"I don't want to hear this." Patrick snapped.

"Patrick, please understand—"

"Understand what? That you're okay with wanting to die? That you're willing to sacrifice life for a baby that may or may not even survive? You're not being rational, Robin. You're not being smart! I can't—no I won't sit back and let it happen again. My decision almost got you killed! If he says that you can't carry this baby to term, then it can't be done."

"What decision?" Robin demanded adamantly.

"My decision to be with you. My decision to not tell you about how dangerous Emily is. Take your pick."

"You're not making any sense." Robin claimed.

Patrick rubbed his hand down his face in agony. "I was talking to Emily the day Morgan was taken. She all but admitted to cutting the brake lines in your car. I caused her wrath on you, me! And I won't let you pay for my mistakes, not again."

"This is not a mistake!" Robin forced between her teeth. "Why don't you want this baby?"

"I want you." Patrick clarified. "I can't lose you—"

Robin held his face between her hands. "You won't! You can't lose me. Look at me. Look at me! This is our baby. I can do this. I know it. I'm strong. I can do anything as long as you're beside me."

"Robin, I…" Patrick faltered.

"You are with me, aren't you Patrick?" Robin implored.

"I can't breathe." Patrick stood abruptly and ran for the door.

He had to move, had to get away from the office, away from that horrible scene. If Dr. Meadows had seen that, she would have been ashamed of him, Ric mused. There had to have been a better way, something more compassionate. He paced, trying to outrun the constant loop his words were insisting on playing in his head. A disease? He had actually compared a baby to a disease?

Running his hands through his hair, he hit the street, not knowing exactly where he was going and not caring either. If Maxie was still in the hospital, he could have gone to see her, let her charms distract him the way they had in the past. But Maxie had been discharged, sent back to her family. Being near her wasn't an option right now, much as he may want or even need it.

Seeing Maxie was a bad idea anyways, he realized as he made his way past the other pedestrians. She'd see through him, push him until he broke and that wouldn't take much. Especially since Maxie was Robin's cousin. Even the most oblique reference to Robin and the nightmare would start again. The shock, the excitement, the pain, the anger, every emotion that had flashed through her eyes; much of it directed at him. He deserved it, Ric realized. First he had taken away her hope months ago, watched as she tried to be supportive of her friend as she began to experience something she most likely never would, and then seconds after he confirmed a miracle had occurred, he had told she had to terminate it. End it and move on.

It was the right advice. Medically the facts were on his side. If it had just been the damage she had obtained after the car accident, he could find a way to sustain a healthy, safe pregnancy for both Robin and the baby. It wouldn't be fun, Robin most likely would end up hating him, but it could be done. Ric could admit as much if it was just her HIV status. She had been right she wasn't the first HIV positive woman that became pregnant and she wouldn't be the last. But the combination of the two? The interventions he knew for one would hinder interventions for the other. In his heart of hearts, Ric knew if he were to run into Robin right here, right now, in the middle of this busy street, he'd tell her the same thing. She should terminate the pregnancy. It didn't mean he had to like it.

Finding himself outside the entrance to the local park, Ric realized what he needed was just to get lost. He could wander here aimlessly for hours and no one would be the wiser. The weather was too cold for any children to be out so there would be no reminders of the crushing blow he had just delivered. Yes, wandering the park was just what the doctor ordered, he joked to himself.

Deciding on coffee to help keep him warm, Ric made his way toward the small outdoor stand. Ordering his regular black coffee, he almost lost control of his cup when he was jostled from behind. Steadying it just before he threw it right back in the face of the college kid that had just handed the steaming Styrofoam cup to him, Ric turned around, a quick retort on his tongue. "Watch it pal."

The term "hot coffee" was especially significant this day, Kate thought to herself as the scorching liquid stained her favorite buttercup handbag. It had been a present to herself last Christmas—the first holiday she had spent alone in almost seven years—and now it was ruined! She was going to give this guy a piece of her mind, she decided. Just as soon as she knew his name and face, she would ruin his life! Stepping back to get a good look at him, she craned her neck and scowled. "Ric, I—look what you've done!" It was just easier to focus on the ruined gift because then she could ignore other feelings going on inside her, feelings that had been far from dormant these long, miserable months, feelings that were irrational and unwelcome.

His mouth gaped open. Kate? It had been Kate who bumped into him? He hadn't seen her since the day he had left New York and now he runs into her here of all places? "Kate? What...I mean...how...what are you doing here?"

"That's none of your business!" Kate retorted angrily.

"You show up in my town and it's none of my business? Katie..." he deliberately used the nickname, knowing it irritated her. "I don't think so. Business or pleasure?"

"Would it bother you if I said personal? Would you get jealous Richard?" Kate wanted to know.

"Katie, you never travel for personal reasons. It's always related to work." It was what had attracted him to her at first, the ambition, the drive to make it on her own that was so similar to his own nature. Suddenly he realized the very obvious reason why his reporter ex-wife would be standing in front of him right now. "The kidnappings. You're here doing a story about the kidnappings."

"What if I am? What's it to you?" Kate challenged folding her arms across her chest.

Nothing." He protested as a matter of habit. It still wasn't quite clear to him how Maxie had kept his name out of her statement but she had. Not that the little he had witnessed would be able to help out anymore than Maxie's recollection. "There are good people involved here and they won't react well to your usual efforts."

"What does that mean? Are you saying I can't be professional?" Kate snapped.

"Not at all. I just know you Kate. I don't want to see anyone get hurt, including you."

"Who is it you think I'm going to hurt? Maybe you know more than you're telling." Kate watched him with what he referred to her as her "reporter" eyes.

"How would I be involved? I'm a doctor. What is it you tell me? I'm really married to my job?"

"Nothing you haven't said to me time and time again. It's why we get along, Richard. You and I are the same." Kate told him.

"Which is why we haven't seen each other in how long?"

"You look terrible. This place isn't agreeing with you at all, is it?" Kate hated that she could tell, but she'd have to be blind not to.

"It's not the place. It's the day."

"Do you want to talk about it? I've got a little time." Kate offered.

"You leave your tape recorder in the hotel room?"

"That's not fair!" Kate narrowed her eyes at him. "This isn't about the story."

"I know. I know." Ric sighed and ran his hand through his hair again. Kate was offering to be a friend, something he wanted for them and here he was messing it up. "I'm sorry. Just a rotten day."

"Tell me about it." She goaded him.

"I had to crush a young woman's dreams today. Not a situation I'm normally in and one I don't want to be in again."

"Facts are facts though. You didn't tell her what you did to hurt her. You just told her the truth. If she can't accept that, she shouldn't have come to you in the first place." Kate declared arrogantly.

"I know what I told her was the right decision. I just can't help think there was something else I could have looked at."

Kate started to reach for his hand but stopped herself in time. He didn't want her comfort and she knew what would happen if she offered it to him. They were talking without lawyers and that was an accomplishment in itself. Still, she couldn't ignore the defeat she found in his eyes. He looked absolutely broken. He looked in worse shape than her new bag. "We do the best we can. People get hurt along the way, but it's not our fault."

Ric nodded at the truth in her words. It was the one thing he could always count on from Kate, the straight unvarnished truth. Whether it was good news or bad, Kate told it like it was. It made her good at her job and helped her climb as fast as she had. "It doesn't help me feel any better though."

"Well, buck up." Kate teased smacking him on the shoulder. "The Colonel wouldn't approve of this kind of behavior from his only son."

"Not helping."

Kate checked her watch. "I have to go. I'm sure we'll see each other around. I'm staying at the Metro Court if you need to talk. Room 204."

"I'll keep that in mind." He watched her take a few steps away before he called out to her. "Kate?"

"What?"

"Thanks."

"Habit."