CHAPTER TWO || fragile

"Rosemary Hathaway. I thank you for gracing us with your presence today." Stan Alto grins at me from the front of the class. "Could you at least pay attention?"

I swallow, hating how everyone had turned around to face me. "Since when do I pay attention?" I grin back before winking at him. "I knew you were missing the Hathaway charm."

Alto isn't grinning anymore. "Answer question eighteen." I continue smiling and look down at my text book. I pause. What is that? After taking half a second to decide I have no idea of the answer, I look up.

"Just stab it with a stick." I say simply, like he is asking me the easiest question possible. The class stifles their laughs, which makes me smirk.

"So, if you happen to come across a Strogoi location, you are going to stab it with a stick?" Alto groans and I hear louder laughs.

I nod encouragingly. "Wouldn't you?"

Stan begins to glare at me until the classroom is completely silently. "I have no idea how you survived that little stunt you pulled, but if you would have been listening in past lessons, maybe you could have come out of it accompanied with one more novice."

All of my come backs get stuck in my throat, pulled down the never ending guilt of Mason's death. "I know," I whisper under my breath when everyone stops staring. I look down and keep my eyes locked there until the end of the class. "I know."

"Hey, Rose." Lissa sits down beside me in the lunch hall, tying her hair in a long ponytail. "I haven't seen you recently. Where have you been hiding?"

"I've been sleeping and eating," I lie. "Making the most out of my lesson pass." I grin and take a large bite out of my doughnut, making Liss smile and roll her eyes. I chew and swallow, then ask where fire boy has gone.

"I'm meeting him in the chapel in a moment." She blushes. "I just came to say sorry for not being able to sit here today, but I could stay but Christian is expecting me but I miss you and-"

"Liss. Go. You're mumbling." I tell her, laughing. I try not to let my mask slip, even though all the smiling feels wrong on my face.

"I love you, Rose." She says, practically jumping out of her seat to go and find him.

When she is gone, I awkwardly throw away my whole food tray, appetite nonexistent. I feel lonely and empty. If it wasn't for my breakdown in front of Dimitri earlier, I might have gone to try and find him.

I sigh and wander out of the cafeteria, thinking it's a good time to skip class, while not looking forward to my training session later.

"Hey there, Hathaway." Jesse grabs my arm and forces me to face him. "How's it going?" He smirks.

I glare and say nothing. Let go of me.

"You'll never guess what I heard about you today." He almost sings. My curiosity gets the best of me and my evil look falters. "Interested?"

I purse my lips, debating whether or not to just leave.

"Well, apparently you had a bit of a moment with Dimitri earlier." He winks. My heart stops for a moment. He knows about Dimitri kissing me.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Jesse. Let go of me before I hit you." Immediately he loosens his grip, but his cocky expression never fades.

"See you later, Hathaway."

As soon as he lets go, I roll my fist into a punch and hit the side of his face. My knuckles burn as they push and scrape against his skin. He staggers back, blood beginning to drip down his nose. It feels good. Then burn, the adrenaline. My fingers ache in protest, but it isn't a bad feeling.

Everyone around us is openly staring; some of them chuckling at Jesse's angered and startled expression. Blood runs down to his lips, so he wipes it away with the back of his hand.

I click all my fingers, making sure my hand is okay, and then I grin meanly at Jesse. "Stay the hell away from me, Zeklos."

I walk backwards, trying to look threatening, and then I spin on my heel- getting out of there as soon as possible.

"You will regret this, bitch!" He screams behind me. "You broke my nose!"

I laugh falsely. "Maybe it will be an improvement! You can thank me later!"

When I reach my room, I unlock the door, walk in as calmly as possible, and slam it shut. Jesse knows about me and Dimitri. He said I'll regret it. Oh God. What have I done?

I ignore my stinging eyes and wander into the bathroom. Trying to forget everything that just happened, I press by back against the wall and slide down. I pull my thighs to my chest, hugging my legs and hiding my head in the crevice of my knees. What if Dimitri gets fired for kissing me? He was trying to comfort me; this is my entire fault.

I can't live without him.

Suddenly I'm sucked into Lissa's head. I'm kissing Christian, well, she's kissing Christian. For a moment, all I can think of is how fire boy is actually a pretty amazing lover. He always looks after Liss, always makes her happy.

Jealously floods against me and I pull out of her head. I'm back in the bathroom, cold and abandoned.

Why can't I be with Dimitri? Why do I have to be a stupid guardian?

As soon as it's almost time for my training session with Dimitri, I charge out of my room and resist the urge to run to the hall to get to him.

When he sees me, relief crosses his features. I stand confidently in front of him, whether it's from the adrenaline from punching Jesse or my tiredness or just from the lust I felt while in Lissa's head, I'm not sure. I just know that I need to try. I have a plan.

"Dimitri, I wanted to say sorry." I tell him.

"What for? You don't need to apologise to me-"

"No, I'm not sorry for freaking out." I take a deep breath. "I'm sorry for not kissing you back earlier."

I lean forwards and wrap my arms round his neck, pressing my mouth softly to his. He doesn't react, so I slowly take his bottom lip in mine. I kiss him more urgently. Still nothing. I push back the guilt of Mason that is rising again and focus on Dimitri.

With cautious hands, he gently pushes me away. "Rose… we can't."

"But-"

"No Rose."

Rejection makes me suddenly feel heavy and awkward. I bite my lip, and then explode. "Why did you kiss me earlier then? Do I mean nothing to you? Why can't you just stop pretending? I know you care about me! You told me!"

"I'm sorry." He says simply.

I open and close my mouth, unable to think of any words to say.

"You're bleeding," Dimitri sighs, taking my hand and assessing my knuckles. They're grazed and bloody- I hadn't even noticed until now.

"You should see the other guy." I laugh uneasily. I pull away my arm and rub some of the blood off on my jeans. It burns for a moment, so I focus on that instead of the judgemental expression on my mentors face. It helps me ignore the brown eyes of disappointment that are aching through me.

"Rose." Dimitri sighs.

"Jesse knows. He told me he knew what happened in our last training session. I'm sorry I-"

"That's my fault." He cuts me off. "Jesse heard me talking to Alberta about you."

Shock makes me rock back on my heels slightly. "You told her you kissed me? What the actual-?"

"No. I told her you were upset. She suggested grief counselling. I think it's a really good idea for you, after everything."

I stand, shocked to my core. "No." I say, almost shouting the word. "No way! And you don't go spreading stuff about me behind my back! She's going to think I'm some kind of weak-"

"No, Rose. She's worried. We all are. Maybe you need help getting over Mason's-"

"Don't say it. Don't you dare. I don't want to 'get over it'. He is one of my best friends- I will not just forget and disrespect him like that!" I shout and slap him angrily on the chest. "And now Jesse knows I was upset! Do you realize how much he will use that against me?"

"I'm sorry." He whispers without leaving my gaze.

"I'm going back to my room now."

He nods. I feel his eyes on me the whole way out of the room.

A/N So, I was completely asdfghjkl-ing when I saw the feedback from the first chapter. Literally, I almost burst into tears. Your reviews really do mean a lot to me. Thank you thank you thank you. :D I might have time to update later, but I have coursework to finish for tomorrow, so I'm not sure. :) Anyways, I will definitely update tomorrow after school! :) I love you all, you lovely people reading this. :')

Reviews and constructive criticism make me write faster. ;)