I really, really like my character, Golan (Mischief in Middle Earth) and couldn't help but add him into this story. Just to burst any romantic bubble that might pop up, Kelly not only does not think of Golan as anything more than a brother. Sowwy.

OOPS!

Every single person in that room (and it was large and might I add fully packed?) stared at me, most with their mouths open. Well, not everyone… King Thranduil was staring up at the ceiling and I had the most overpowering feeling that he was murmuring, "Why me?"

"And who is this… Orlando Bloom you speak of, my lady?" A soft voice asked, breaking the increasingly nasty silence. Señor Lord Elladan had suddenly spoken up and had the largest grin on his face.

"Eh… no one." I said, ducking my head to stare at the red toes of my shoes. The darned elf had the same grin.

"Nay, lady, I must know as there might be competition between him and I."

I looked up to see Legolas wildly waving his arms around to try and give Elladan a clue to keep his big mouth shut. To give credit were it's due, I had to admit that Legolas had learned his lesson very well and was now trying to save the brunette a broken nose. Long ago, most of the elves had realized I was not romantically inclined, as it were.

Unfortunately, Danny Boy didn't notice and continued, "I hope I will have the pleasure of sitting by your side at dinner tonight."

"I am afraid I have a prior engagement, besides: didn't I already tell you I do NOT give out my numbers?" He looked enough like the bimbo for me to let that little tidbit out. Too bad my few flashes of wit were lost on this most unknowing specimen of the elvish community.

Danny Boy blinked, not precisely following me. Surprisingly enough, it was the Elvenking that closed the conversation by stepping off his throne and saying, "I am sorry about this, Elladan, she is not quite right in her mind. I beg pardon if she has said anything to insult you."

Har, har. I really liked the part about being insane.

"Nay, my lord," Danny Boy said and bowed before Thranduil, "the poor child has not insulted me in the least. You must tell me how this came about, for my father wishes to know all about her as soon as possible."

Thranduil nodded and motioned Danny Boy to follow him with the rest of the royal family and high-ranking officials.

I snorted, making the two ladies-in-waiting on either side of me, jump with surprise and glide off. Child indeed! Who did that ectoplasm think he was anyway? Just then, I saw Hanath walking toward me with a large smile plastered over his kind face. Not only did I like (not like like, just like) Hanath very much but he was the only person in this crazy world who let my "eccentrics" go by without groaning, moaning, and otherwise making noises of tribulation when I was around.

"His majesty wishes you to join him and the royal family so that Lord Elladan may interview you." He said and extended his hand, eyes twinkling.

"Very well, but you must understand that I go under protest." I replied primly, taking his hand. After we had gotten into one of the many deserted hallways, I couldn't help but ask, "Is the King very angry with me?"

Hanath threw back his head and laughed. "Angry? Nay, he rather liked Elladan's finally meeting his match. Most women flock to him like bees to honey and never before, in all the history of his long life, has one little human turned him down with such ferocity."

Stifling a sigh, I parted from Hanath at the door of the Elvenking's less formal audience chamber. Even in another world there's always one of those types of super-hot guys that just can't understand what "disinterest" means.

I opened one of the doors slightly so I could peek inside. It was only the Elvenking, Legolas, Lindwen, and Danny Boy. Not bad, could be worse; believe me, I know what a real interrogation group looks like and this wasn't one of them.

"Ah, Mierien, come in child, Lord Elladan would like to ask you several questions." Thranduil said passively, his back to the door. I would seriously ask him one of these days if he had eyes in the back of his silver head.

When I was seated in my favorite chair (yes, I'd been in here enough to have a favorite chair), Danny Boy began the interrogation. Let me just add, he did not know how to interrogate. Lord Liden did it much better, had me sweating last time if I recall.

"Where did you come from?"

"Mars, that's where ALL women come from or so my brother claims."

"You have a brother?"

"Don't you?"

"Mierien, behave." Thranduil muttered into my ear as Danny Boy gazed at me, his mind apparently trying to figure out where my question came in.

He shook his head and continued, "Do you have a brother?"

"Yep. Demonic little monster but kinda cute."

"Do you have parents?"

"If I didn't, you wouldn't be asking." I then added in a stage whisper, "Just how do you think I'd be here if I didn't have parents?"

"That's not what I meant!"

"Then be a tad clearer if you don't mind." I was getting him mad, I could tell. Guys' eyes always seem to narrow when they start getting annoyed.

"Very well. Where are your parents?"

"Oh, let's see… Dad's probably finished milking the cows and Mom's definitely watching Desperate Housewives. Don't know why she likes it myself but then soaps were never my thing."

"Your father milks the cows?" Legolas interrupted in a shocked voice.

Good golly, just my luck these people don't understand that when you own a dairy, it's usually a man that owns it and the man supervises. Of course, Legolas could very well be asking for sexist reasons but that wasn't my problem. "Uh huh, of course he doesn't milk the 200 cows by himself."

There was an extremely long silence as they all stared at me and then Lady Lindwen interjected in that sweet, soft voice of hers. "The poor darling must be having one of her moments. No one has 200 cows, its impossible."

The men nodded, relief showing on their faces as they realized the truth in what Lindwen said. I had given up a long time go trying to explain my own world as they all thought it was my insanity coming out.

"Let's continued then, shall we?" Danny Boy asked, grinning in my direction. It was now only a sickly sweet smile that recognized from my mother's face when she was fixing a boo-boo on my knee. I should probably add I was six then.

I nodded, merely to keep everyone happy. What I really wanted to do right then, was charge from that room and find Golan (one of the cellar elves) and help him hunt a stag. If I was late, he'd threatened to leave without me.

"How is it that you can read the languages that are contained in the Elvenking's library?"

"Ah, that's easy, my brother's time machine was equipped to instantly allow the time-traveler to understand every language –and dialect- of the country that the traveler was sent to. Don't ask me how he did it since he's the scientific buff that I'm definitely not."

"Oh, I see." Elladan said, not really seeing at all.

"Anything else?"

"Yes." He twisted his hands looking uncomfortable. "His majesty has informed me that you age far faster than humans here. May I ask why that is?"

"No idea. The genetic sciences are not my forte, if you follow me."

"Genetics?"

"Meh… never mind. Are we done?" Heck, I know I sounded like a petulant child but there was a stag to hunt and I wasn't going to waste a perfectly good day sitting in the King's audience chamber and answer stupid questions.

"I… I suppose." Elladan said, seemingly taken aback by my apparent disinterest in him, the discussion, and his ingenious questions. He, he.

"Thanks!" and before anyone could say another word, I was outta there.

I raced to my room and changed into my hunting garb as swiftly as possible. Everyone thought I stayed in my room or the library, but the truth was, I knew everything there was to know about this place and the immediate forest surrounding the palace. Being a night owl had its rewards, let me tell you.

Finished, I slipped through the corridors quiet as a mouse and finally reached the small gate near the kitchen that I had used so often. Golan was there to my utter relief.

"What took you so long?" He demanded, looking grumpy.

"I had to answer some standard question from Danny Boy."

"Who?"

I rolled my eyes. "Elladan."

"Ah, I thought so. Anything to keep your ugly mug near to his beating heart." Golan grinned cheekily and ducked my fist that had flown up (I swear) of its own accord and threatened to knock all the air out of his body. "I was joking!"

"I hope so, for your sake." I glowered and Golan laughed. Golan and I had adopted each other as it were. From what Hanath had told me, Golan had lost his twin, Gilian, during the Battle of the Five Armies and had been grieving ever since. Since my own brother had condemned me to live out my life in a different universe, I had felt (sort of) that Golan and I could sympathize. Besides Hanath, Golan was the only one who didn't run screaming for one of the healers when I mentioned something like, oh… Britney Spears or something. (If the screaming elves knew who Britney Spears actually was, they would probably not just scream but faint. Believe me, I had fainted my fair share when Caitlin had insisted on watching the new Britney Spears music video on MTV).

"Hadn't we better get going?" he asked once his merriment had subsided.

"After you, my dear brother. However, if you continue to tease me about amorous things I will be filing a complaint with the Sexual Harassment Office of Social Services!"

"Huh?"

Like I said, my few flashes of wit were lost upon these innocent elves. "Never mind, kiddo. Shall we find a stag?"

We ran off into the dark green woods not a care in the world.

"My lord, why is it that you call the young girl, the annoying cat?" Elladan asked as he and Thranduil walked slowly down a deserted hallway.

"Annoying because she just is, cat, well..." Thranduil smiled suddenly, "Mierien is sly, very sly, and has a very feline grace that she does not knows inhabits her. Elladan? Do you think Rhov has any thought of marriage?" Thranduil grinned wickedly after a small silence.

"Nay, your majesty."

"Have you ever tryed your hand at match-making?"

Elladan's face went so white, it matched the marble wall. He gulped audibly as the Elvenking's grin turned evil. "Nay, your majesty, and will all due respect, I don't wish to try."

"Have no fear, Elladan." Thranduil said, patting the younger elf on the shoulder. "It was merely a question."

However, the evil grin did not leave the Elvenking's face till later that night, but Kelly (a.k.a Mierien) noticed it and knew it boded no good for her. Lindwen was quite sure she didn't want to be around when the Elvenking uncovered his plan and Legolas was already packing enough provisions to keep him and his spontaneous patrol happy for a month.