DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN CSI:NY OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS. I DO HOWEVER, OWN SAMANTHA FLACK AND KIERAN FLACK
Baby K
"Sleep my child and peace attend thee,
All through the night
Guardian angels God will send thee,
All through the night;
Soft the drowsy hours are creeping,
Hill and vale in slumber sleeping,
I my loved ones' watch am keeping,
All through the night.
Angels watching, e'er around thee,
All through the night
Midnight slumber close surround thee,
All through the night
Soft the drowsy hours are creeping,
Hill and vale in slumber sleeping
I my loved ones' watch am keeping,
All through the night."
-All Through the Night, Sir Harold Boulton
Stella stood in front of the enormous picture window, her palms pressed up against the glass as she stood on her tip toes and craned her neck to get a look at the newborn at the very back room. While there were dozens other adorable babies bundled up tight in their bassinets, some sleeping contently and others wailing for a meal or a change, her attention was focused on one and one alone.
They had arrived at Women's and Children's close to an hour ago. The ambulance had finally arrived, fifteen minutes after Hawkes had successfully delivered the healthy infant, and had transported mom and dad and baby to the hospital while Stella and Hawkes, grinning like a Cheshire cat and adrenaline still coursing through him from his ordeal, followed behind in one of the lab's Avalanche's.
Baby Kieran had been taken immediately to the nursery to be cleaned up and examined by the pediatrician on call, while mom, exhausted and sore and too wound up to sleep, was taken to her private room where her OB would exam her and make sure she was in good shape following the unexpected and speedy delivery of her son.
Stella wanted to, and needed to, know exactly what was happening to her brand new 'nephew'. There were two smiling nurses at the side of his bed, one of them talking softly and sweetly to him while she dipped his tiny feet, one by one, into an ink pad before pressing each foot down on an identification card. She used a baby wipe to clean his feet while the other nurse wrapped a small plastic band around his left ankle.
The first nurse than left and went to a table at the very back were she proceeded to fill out paperwork while her colleague gently dressed the newborn in a blue and white stripped sleeper and slipped a matching hat over his full head of dark, wavy hair. Kieran wailed at that. Loud and strong enough that Stella could hear him through the glass. His reaction made his proud aunt laugh out loud. He already had a mind of his own and quite the temper. She wondered which parent he had inherited that from. The nurse was still smiling and talking calmly to the baby in her care, but Stella could see, as the young nurse fought off this tiny flailing limbs that the woman was slowly realizing she'd never come across such a little fighter.
"He doesn't want the hat on," Stella said out loud. Feeling the urge to knock on the glass to get the nurse's attention. "Take off the damn hat!"
"Window shopping?" a deep, familiar voice asked from behind her.
"He doesn't want the hat on," Stella explained. "And she keeps on insisting that he wears the stupid thing. Look at him! He's not happy. He doesn't want to wear it. Why won't they just leave the damn thing off?"
"Babies lose most of their heat from their head," Mac reasoned as he stepped alongside of his fiancee and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "It's just a precaution. So he stays healthy. It's freezing out and he did have that trip over here in the ambulance."
Stella curled her arm around Mac's waist and laid her head on his shoulder. "It was incredible moment, Mac," she said, feeling herself tear up once again. "Watching that, seeing him come into the world…it was an amazing thing to watch. I will never forget it as long as I live."
"I'm sure…and let's thank God you and Hawkes were able to get there in time."
"How do you know what happened?"
"I heard the call for an EMS over the PBR," he explained. "I recognized Flack's address and then heard you identify yourself to the dispatcher. I just assumed, because you were working with Hawkes tonight, that both of you were there."
"Hawkes was phenomenal," Stella gushed. "He was just cool, calm and collected and just took complete charge of everyone and everything. He did a great job, Mac. Kieran's here and alive and well thanks to him."
"How's the baby doing?" Mac asked, peering into the nursery, where the nurse was now swaddling the baby in a blue receiving blanket.
"No one's really said anything," Stella told him. "I'm assuming he's fine because he's in the regular nursery and not the NICU or the step down unit. A pediatrician was in checking him out as soon as we arrived and now the nurses are just cleaning him up and taking his foot prints and banding him before they take him down to Sam. He's beautiful, Mac. Big blue eyes and long dark eyelashes and all this black hair. And his freckles! He has Sam's nose and her freckles!"
Mac smiled at the excitement and pride shining in her eyes and evident in her voice. "So who does he look like? Mom or dad?"
"Oh he's a Flack all the way," Stella declared. "He looks exactly like his dad. No doubt about it."
"Where's the proud father now?"
"He's down with Sam. Her OB is checking her out and making sure she's okay. Can you believe this even happened, Mac? It just came about so quick. I just thought we'd go there, check on her and bring her here. I never imagined in a million years that I would be helping to deliver a baby in the middle of my shift."
"Just think of it as something else to add to your resume," Mac chuckled. "That will look great on paper. Helping to deliver a colleague's baby in the middle of a snow and ice storm."
"And in the middle of said colleague's living room floor none the less," Stella added. "It was just pure insanity. Everything happened so quickly it was like we didn't even get a chance to breathe. It was exhilarating. Such a rush."
"Maybe you should go back to med school and become an OB," Mac suggested and pressed a kiss to the side of her head. "Or even take courses to become a midwife."
"Are you crazy?" she laughed. "It was a beautiful, incredible thing to see. But I am perfectly happy remaining a crime scene investigator."
"Good," Mac said, and rubbed her shoulder. "Because I'm going to need my best detective, and my best girl, now that I'm down yet another CSI."
"Sam hasn't been in the field for months," Stella said. "And she probably won't be back for at least six. Flack told you that she was using some of that money from Zack and taking extra time off."
"I know. And I'm not talking about Samantha. I'm talking about Tim Speedle."
Stella arched an eyebrow and pulled back to look at Mac. "What about him?"
"He quit about an hour and a half ago. Handed me his badge after I tried repeatedly to talk him out of it."
"He quit?" Stella was astounded. "Why?"
"It's a long story. A long, personal story between him and Carmen that I'm sure, when she's up to it, Carmen will tell you herself. All I can really tell you is that Tim Speedle is gone. He's leaving New York ASAP."
"Do you know where he's going?" she asked.
"I'm assuming he'll head back to Miami," Mac replied. "But that's just an assumption. He may end up somewhere completely different."
"Does Carmen know?" Stella asked.
"She knows that he's out of her life. They got into a fight at the hospital and he walked away there."
"A fight? Why? Over what?"
"That will have to be something that Carmen tells you," Mac told her.
"Wow.." Stella shook her head in disbelief. "When it rains it pours. All of this craziness in one night?"
"Wasn't even a full moon," Mac joked lightly.
"God…I feel so bad," Stella said.
"For what?"
"Here we are so happy and thrilled over Kieran finally arriving and Carmen is going through her own personal hell. Getting into an accident and breaking up with her fiance? And Danny! What about Danny? Here I am going on and on about the baby and…."
"Danny and Carmen are fine," Mac assured her. "Luckily they escaped the accident with relatively minor injuries. They'll be out of commission for a while and I'll have to borrow some CSIs from Jersey and hire someone to take Speed's place, but everyone is alive and well and they'll be back to a hundred percent in no time. But this.."
Mac nodded in the direction of the nursery. "This is a joyous occasion, Stella. A new life entered the world. One that belongs to two people we love and care about. Kieran's a gift from God. And he deserves this night to be about him. And Sam and Flack deserve that. To have this night solely about their new son."
Stella smiled and nodded in agreement. "Don Flack a father," she said and shook her head. "Never thought I'd see the day."
"Stranger things have happened," Mac laughed. "But not many."
"Be nice," Stella warned. "He's a proud, proud man at this moment, Mac. He can't keep the smile off his face. Or the tears out of his eyes. You should go down and see him. What with the issues he has with his own parents, you can be assured they won't be showing up here. And maybe you, I don't know, maybe you can fill some sort of gap for him. I'm sure he'd love to have someone with him right now."
"I'm not his father, Stella."
"No. You're not. But you're someone he looks up to and respects. And I know he'd love to see you and have you there. A father figure, Mac. That's what he needs. And I know you're capable, and willing, to give him that."
He sighed heavily and nodded. "I'm not really good at that kind of thing, Stella. What do I say to him?"
"Congratulations on the birth of your son is a good start."
"I've never had to deal with something like this before."
"And neither has Flack," Stella said. "He's a rookie, too. So you're two peas in a pod. Trust me, Mac, he'll appreciate it. Go down the hall, turn right at the first corridor you get two and go right to the end. It was branch out. Ward B and Ward C. Sam's on B. Go in there, register at the front desk and they'll lead you the rest of the way."
"And what are you going to do?" he asked, pressing a soft kiss to her lips.
"I am going to go downstairs to the gift shop and do some window shopping. And when it opens, I am going to buy my new nephew the biggest, fluffiest, cutest teddy bear in the place."
"And let me guess. You need money to do that?"
"Just window shopping at the moment, Mac. But I am dying for a coffee and something to eat."
"Buy some drinks and snacks for us and Sam and Flack. And Hawkes. Wherever he is."
"He's in with Sam and the OB."
"Well treat us all," Mac said.
She held out her hand and cleared her throat.
He sighed and removed his wallet from his back pocket. Pulling out two twenties, he pressed them into his palm. "You're going to put me in the poor house, woman. And be the death of me."
She laid a hand on the back of his neck and kissed him. Long and deep. "It's our turn next," she said, as she headed for the elevators, her curls bouncing as she went.
"For what?" Mac asked.
"A baby," she replied simply.
"Are you trying to tell me something, Stella?" he inquired.
"No…I'm trying to suggest something."
"That you want a baby," he concluded.
She smiled at him over her shoulder. "Looks like you have some work ahead of you, Detective Taylor."
"Little bit of hard work never scared me off," he said.
She winked at him and disappeared around the corner.
Mac smiled to himself and glanced inside the nursery.
"A baby doesn't sound half bad," he said out loud.
Flack was in the corridor outside of Sam's room. His cell phone pressed to his ear as he made phone call after phone call. A permanent, beaming smile on his face that dimpled his cheeks and made his eyes sparkle. So ecstatic to be a father that he was calling anyone he could possibly think of to spread the news. He just went into the numbers stored into his cell and hit send and went through each and every one, not caring who he woke up and pestered and pissed off in the process. Everyone from the bail bondsmen that fed him confidential information on recently released prisoners that he kept on speed dial to a wide awake Jessica Angell working the night shift to Gerrard who had been furious to be woken up from a sound sleep.
It was quarter to six in the morning. Two hours had passed since he'd gotten the phone call from Sam about her water breaking. Almost an hour since his son had made his quick and unexpected entrance into the world. It seemed as if it had just happened five minutes ago. He could still remember every second of every moment of Kieran's birth. Still hear his son's first guy. Still feel that soft, delicate skin of Kieran's face under his fingertips. It had been the most incredible, mind blowing experience of his entire life. And as bloody and somewhat gory as it had been, it had honestly been the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
His suit jacket and tie were long gone. Already stashed in the closet in Sam's room. His shirt was untucked and unbuttoned and the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. He was physically and emotionally drained. Yet too wired to sleep. All he wanted was to see his son again and hold him. To touch Kieran's head full of dark hair and kiss his pale cheeks and realize that it wasn't just some crazy dream he was living in. That it had actually happened and his child was finally there.
Flack contemplated calling his parents. His mother would be thrilled to hear about the birth of her grandson but he was pretty sure his father would either not answer when he saw the number on the call display, or if he did happen to answer, hang up when he realized who was calling at that early of an hour. Instead he dialled another familiar New York City number and waited for someone to answer.
"Hello?" the groggy voice answered.
"Adam? It's Flack."
"Who?"
"Flack. You know Detective Flack. Don Flack. Your brother in law."
"Don?" the lab tech asked, sounding disoriented and confused. "What's going on? What time is it? Why are you calling me?"
"I'm calling you because Samantha had the baby. You're an Uncle now."
"I am?" Awareness and lucidity were creeping into his voice now. "When did she have him?"
"Sam had the baby?" Gus' voice, soft and tired in the near distance.
"About two hours ago now. We're at the hospital now, but she gave had him at home."
"She what?" Adam asked. "How? What?"
"Her water broke while I was at the hospital with Danny and Carmen. You heard about their accident, right?"
"Yeah…yeah Mac called me and told me…Sam had the baby at home?"
"About an hour ago now. When her water broke she called Hawkes and he came over just to check on her and ended up delivering Kieran on the living room floor."
"Are you fucking serious? On the living room floor? Are Sam and the baby okay?"
"Perfectly healthy and doing well," Flack said, feeling that grin spread across his face once again. He nodded at Mac in greeting as the older man came down the hall towards him.
"Thank God," Adam breathed a huge sigh of relief. "Is she allowed to have visitors before the official hours start because she's in a private room?"
"Her room is like staying in a hotel," Flack told his brother in law. "Couches and chairs, twenty-seven inch television. We can order in food if we want. There's no visiting hours on the ward so as long as everyone is quiet and none of the other patients get disturbed, it's all good."
"Well give Sammie and Kieran a huge hug and kiss for me and I'll be there as soon as I can," Adam said excitedly and hung up.
Flack grinned and flipped his phone closed. "Poor Adam," he said to Mac, shaking his head. "Biological uncle and he's the last person I remembered to call."
"There's a lot of stuff racing through your mind," Mac reasoned. "Things are all mixed up and swirling around together. No one will fault you for a momentary slip. Although I think it's best you let on he was the first person you called."
"Good idea," Flack agreed and slipped his phone into his pants pocket. "That was just fucking insane, Mac. The whole thing was just insane. Start to finish. Sam's water breaking and her delivering less than an hour later? Crazy. Watching her give birth to my son on the living room floor with Hawkes delivering and Stella playing nurse? Madness. Sheer madness."
"At least it all worked out well," Mac said. "Mom's fine? I just saw baby down in the nursery giving a couple of nurses a hard time."
"That's my boy. Causing hell already. Sam's going good as far I know. Doctor just went in with Hawkes about twenty minutes ago. I got eighty-sixed to the hall. Something not right about that, Mac. Hawkes gets to take a peek at my wife's goods and I can't? There's something weird about that."
The older man chuckled. "I hear he did a hell of a job."
"He was incredible. God bless him. He just took control and handled it from start to finish. I tell ya, seeing him in action like that, I have a whole new respect for that man."
"How'd you do?"
"I didn't faint. That's a miracle right there."
"And Sam?"
"She was amazing, Mac. She was in a lot of pain. More than either of us expected her to go through. She did a great job. And seeing her, going through all of that just to bring my son into the world…" his voice trailed off as emotion choked at him. He shook his head and put a hand over his eyes.
"It's alright, Don," Mac assured him, laying a comforting hand on his shoulder. "It's a surreal, magical thing that you witnessed. Something you'll never forget as long as you live. Feeling like this…it's normal."
"Just seeing that, Mac," he removed his hands. Tears slipped down his cheeks. Unashamed. "Watching her go through that. All that pain and agony just to give me a son. She was so strong and so brave and so unselfish to go through that and I've never respected her and loved her more than I do now."
Mac smiled and rubbed the younger man's back.
"And that baby…Kieran…he's my boy, Mac. My son. And every time I say it I almost can't believe it. I can't believe he's here. After all the scares we had and the times we thought we were going to loose him. And he's made it and he's here and it justs so unreal to me."
"You and Samantha did a good job," the older man told him. "You brought that little guy into the world safe and sound. Both of you did that. It took the two of you to make him and it will take the two of you to raise him. And you should be proud of yourself, Don. For how much you've grown up. You took on two monumental, life altering things in such a short period of time. And you did a hell of a job with both of them. And you should be proud of yourself. I know I am."
"You just had to go and get me all emotional again, Mac," Flack complained and fought to hold back the tears.
Mac reached out and drew the younger, much taller and stronger man into a tight, fatherly hug. "Congratulations, Don.," he said.
"Thanks," he sniffled and returned the hug. "Just seems so unreal, you know?"
Mac nodded and released the homicide detective. "You're going to be fine. As a father. You've got all that love inside of you, Flack. I see it every time you so as much look at your wife. And your son has a great life ahead of him with the two of you as his parents."
"I hope so," Flack said, wiping at his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. "I don't want to be a total fuck up to him."
"You won't be," Mac assured him. Than smiled at Hawkes as he slipped from Samantha's room followed by whom Mac assumed was her obstetrician. "I heard you did a hell of a job, Doctor Hawkes," he said, extending a hand to his CSI.
"It was nothing," Hawkes said modestly, shaking his boss' hand. "Samantha did all the work. She was a fantastic patient and the baby was very cooperative."
"I couldn't have done a better job myself," the physician laughed. She held her hand out to Mac. "I'm Doctor Lightheart. Samantha's obstetrician. Are you the grandfather?"
Hawkes smirked. Flack couldn't resist laughing out loud.
"I guess I could be," Mac said, chuckling slightly and not taking offense and handling it in his usual calm and cool demeanor. "If I was fourteen when I became a father to Samantha."
"This is Detective Mac Taylor," Hawkes told the doctor. "Hes the head of the New York City Crime Lab. Mine and Samantha's boss."
"I am so sorry," she blushed furiously as Mac shook her hand.
"No harm no foul," he assured her. "So how are Samantha, and my grandson, doing?"
"Samantha's doing exceptionally well for someone that gave birth phenomenally quick and unexpectedly. Her blood pressure is a little high so we've given her some medication to bring it down along with a mild pain killer and antibiotics to combat the pain and possible risk of infection from tearing of the stitches."
"She's planning on breastfeeding," Flack told the doctor. "She can still do that and be on those meds?"
"They're safe for the baby. Nothing will harm him. I'm going to keep her in for a couple of extra days to keep an eye on her cervix. Just to be on the safe side. Certainly not the delivery either of you had planned."
"Home birth with one of my closest friends delivering?" Flack asked. "That didn't even cross my mind in the slightest."
"Well all of you did a fantastic job," she praised. "Congratulations, Detective Flack," she said, offering him her hand.
"Thank you," he said with a smile and shook her hand. "I can go in now?"
"I know you're dying to. She's all your's. Her blood sugar is a little low so I have the nurse bringing her some juice. And she's spoken to a lactation consultant? About not expecting much more than colostrom for the first twenty-four hours? If the baby's hungry we'll supplement with formula. Did she have one picked out?"
"All I know is that the stuff we have at home is twenty-six bucks a can and it's organic or soy or some crap like that. Iso-something."
"Isomil. It's a soy formula," the doctor confirmed. "I'll let the nurses know. I'll be back in the later morning to check on Samantha. Congratulations again, detective."
"Thank you," he said, and as she walked away, turned to Mac and Hawkes with a heavy sigh. "Well, I guess the next eighteen years of parenting hell has officially begun."
"You'll be fine," Mac assured him.
Flack reached for the holster still attached to his right hip and unhooked it from the waist of his pants. Removing it and his badge had been the last thing on his mind. He held the holster, gun still securely inside, out to Mac. "You mind keeping this locked up in your desk until I can to the lab and get it from you?" he asked. "I should be around in a couple of days. Gerrard wants me to get some stuff done before I go on my two weeks."
"Not a problem," Mac said. And decided now was not the time to break the news of Tim Speedle's departure. Flack was on cloud nine with the birth of his son and deserved to revel in that spotlight for the time being. "If Sam's up to it, Stella and I would like to pop in for a bit. And someone should call Danny and Carmen."
"I'll do it," Hawkes offered.
"Thanks again, Hawkes," Flack said. "For coming when you did. For taking such good care of Sam and the baby."
"It was no problem," Hawkes said, and the two men embraced warmly "Congratulations, daddy," he called, as the detective crossed the hall and reached for the handle on his wife's door.
He gave them that beaming, boyish smile and disappeared inside.
"Hell of a night," Mac commented to the CSI beside him.
"Best night of my life," Hawkes declared.
She was sitting up in bed. Her eyes closed and her breathing slow and steady. Catching a small bit of rest before the nurse brought the baby to bunk with her in the room. At first she had considered having him taken care of by the professionals in the nursery. Taking care of newborns was what they were paid pretty good money to do and it wasn't a far walk and she could down anytime she wanted to see him. But the thought of being away from her son, especially during the first hours of his life, was heartbreaking to her. She wanted to hold him and cuddle him and tell him she loved him. Get to know him. Because despite nearly nine months of carrying him, Kieran was virtually a stranger to her.
She heard the click of the door and she opened her eyes and glanced over. A soft smile appearing on her face at the familiar face coming into her room.
"Did you see him?" Sam asked. "Is he doing okay?"
"I stayed a little bit down in the nursery and they let me help out giving him his bath," Flack replied, crossing the spacious room to stand at the side of the bed. He leaned down and kissed her softly.
"And how did that go?" she asked.
"He freaked out the entire time," he told her, a grin on his face as he ran his hand over her hair and along the side of her face. He was in complete awe of her after witnessing what he had. And he kicked his own ass for ever doubting that she'd be able to do it.
"So he already has a temper," she concluded. "Boy, I wonder who he gets that from."
"He only gets his stunning good looks from me."
"Yeah right," she said with a small laugh and accepted another kiss. "He's okay, though? I mean, he looks okay? There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with him? Does he look…" she searched for the right word.
"Normal?" Flack asked. "You mean does he look like he has something the matter with him?"
She nodded. "I know that's horrible to say but I couldn't help but worry that maybe the doctors missed something when they said everything looked okay and I was hoping that.."
He silenced her by pressing a kiss to her forehead. "He looks fine," he assured her. "Better than fine. He's beautiful, Samantha. And he's obviously healthy or he wouldn't be screaming and putting up such a fight over everything. If there's anything wrong with him, I'm sure either the pediatrician or the nurse will tell us when they bring Kieran down. The doctor was just checking him over when I left."
"But he looked okay? I mean you saw him and you'd notice if someone was wrong with him, right?"
"Samantha, he looked fine. I'm not exactly and expert on babies but he looks great. Just relax. Okay?"
She nodded.
"Now move over a bit.If I'm here for the long haul I might as well be comfortable."
"There's two couches over there," she said, pointing across the room as she shifted sideways in the bed. Twice the size of an average hospital bed, it was big enough to fit two people quite comfortably.
"Might as well be in another time zone if I go over there," he argued, and toeing off his shoes, climbed into the bed beside her. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and kissed the side of her head. "How are you feeling? Are you feeling okay?"
"I don't know," she admitted sadly.
"What do you mean you don't know? You mean you feel tired? Sick? What?"
"I feel…I don't know…I feel sad."
"Sad? What are you sad about?"
She shrugged. "I don't know. Because I'm happy and excited he's here but at the same time I'm sad that it's over. If that makes any sense."
"I would have thought you'd be happy it was over. Especially with all the problems you had and how uncomfortable you were."
"I am," she said. "Because it was long and tiring and felt like it was going on forever. But at the same time I'm sad he's not inside of me anymore and I can't feel him moving around and kicking me. He was in there for so long and now he's gone. And I feel so empty."
"Come here," Flack pulled her closer and tighter against him when tears spilled down her cheeks. "It's okay, baby. It's okay to feel sad and all of that. But he's not gone. He's here now. It's what we've been waiting for all these months. And we get to love him and take care of him for the rest of his life. And that's an amazing feeling. And a little scary. Even I have to admit that."
"You're scared too?" she sounded surprised
He nodded.
"What are you scared of?" she asked, turning her golden eyes up at him.
"I guess I'm scared of being a major fuck up as a father," he replied, using his thumbs to gently clear the tears off of her face. "I didn't exactly have the best role model to pattern myself after."
"You're nothing like him, Donnie. Even if I have been a royal bitch by suggesting it once or twice."
"Four times," he corrected her, grinning.
She frowned. "You kept a running count on things like that?"
He nodded.
"You're mean," she declared. She pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Thank you," she said.
"For what?"
"For everything. For Kieran. For getting me through giving birth to our son."
"I didn't do anything, Samantha. You did all the work. And you were amazing. You did a great job. I\m really proud of you, you know that? Going through all that to give me a child? It was incredible to see."
She smiled. "And you didn't even faint or puke."
He chuckled. "By the grace of God. I thought I was going to be sick there for a bit. But I survived."
"I was so scared," she said. "It was all happening so quick and I was terrified and you were so brave."
"Brave?" he snorted. "I wasn't brave. I was scared shitless."
"Well you didn't show it. You were so calm and collected during the whole thing. All I had to do was listening to your voice and hold your hand and I knew everything was going to be okay."
He smiled and hooking a finger under her chin, pressed a soft, lingering kiss to her lips. "We made it, Sammie," he said, and pecked her forehead. "Can you believe it? It's over now. All those months of waiting. I mean, we're parents now. Your mommy and I'm daddy. Doesn't that just seem insane to you?"
"A little. We became husband and wife and parents in less than a month. Isn't that just totally surreal?"
"Just a little," he admitted. He kissed her once more and gathered her close to his side. "So when do we get this kid so you can get to changing some diapers?"
"As soon as they're finished doing whatever it is they're doing to him the nurse said someone would bring him down. Are you staying here?"
"You have to ask that? Where would I go? You just gave birth to my kid. I want to spend as much time with you, and him as possible. So whether you like it or not, me and you are roomies. Mac and Stella are going to want to see him. And you're brother is on his way. If you're not up to company…"
"No. That's fine. I'd like to see everyone. What about Danny and Carmen? And Speed?"
"Hawkes is calling Danny and Carmen and if they feel up to it, I'm sure they'll come once Carmen is released from the hospital. And before you ask, they're fine, yes I know that you knew Carmen was pregnant and no, I'm not mad at you for not telling me."
"And the baby…"
"Why are we talking about this right now?" Flack asked. "We just had a baby. Why can't we talk about him and screw everyone elses problems for once? You and I are always around for everyone when they need someone to fix shit in their lives. Why for once can't we enjoy something and have a time devoted just to us without having someone else overshadow is with their stupid crap?"
"I just want to know if she's okay. If her and the baby…"
He sighed. "Carmen lost the baby. And her and Speedle got into this massive fight and he handed his badge to Mac and it's just a big goddamn mess."
"She lost the baby?" Tears welled in Sam's eyes as she pulled back to look at her husband.
"See! This is exactly what I meant. This should be the most amazing time of our lives. We just had a baby and you're all worried about someone else and their issues. Jesus, Sam. For once can we not have something all for ourselves?"
"Of course. It's just…that's so sad."
"It is. But that's Carmen's road to hoe. Not ours. And I feel bad and I hope shit works out for her and Speed, but it's not my problem. I just want to spend time with you and my new son. Can we just worry about us for a change?"
She nodded. "I can't believe…"
She was interrupted by a loud knock at the door followed by a short and plump nurse with her grey hair tied back in a bun and wearing a brightly coloured scrub set that boasted Tweety Bird.
"Mr and Mrs Flack? I have your son. Is it okay to bring him in?"
"I don't know," Sam nearly wailed. "I don't know I'm ready to be alone with him."
"All new mothers say exactly that same thing," the nurse assured her, smiling her appreciation at Flack as he got off the bed and hurried to the door to hold it open for her.
"I just don't know if I'll know what to do," Sam lamented.
"Well we're always here if you need us," the nurse assured her. "I'm sorry it took so long," she said, as she wheeled the baby in his see-through plastic cot that reminded Sam of nothing more than a large pyrex dish. Below the cot itself was a cabinet with doors that concealed four small shelves that held various necessities. She brought it up along side of the bed. "He's quite the character," she told Sam, who was peering into the little bed with a mixture of awe and terror. And a little disappointment that despite her adamant request that he not be given a soother, Kieran indeed had one in his mouth.
"I didn't want him having one of those," she said. "I didn't want him getting confused when it came to learn how to breastfeed. And I didn't want the head ache of trying to get him off of it when he's two and insisting he needs it."
"We didn't have much of a choice," the nurse told her. "He's quite the handful. He fought us every step of the way and the a soother was the only thing that would calm him down."
"You can just say it you know," Flack said. "You can just say it was the only thing that would shut him up. I heard him down there."
"He's one of the more vocal babies we have," the nurse laughed.
"Gets that from his mother," Flack told her. "Trust me."
"Well he looks just like his father," the woman declared. "He may be a loud one, but he's just a little darling. Now the pediatrician checked him over. There was a small concern with his APGAR scores."
"What's that?" Flack asked, taking a seat on the edge of his wife's bed.
"It's a just a quick test doctors use to asses a newborn's healthy shortly after birth," she answered, opening the cupboard under the cot and taking out a clipboard stowed inside. "It's usually done five minutes after birth, and if the score is low, we repeat it. In Kieran's case, because he was born at home, the doctor assessed him when he arrived on the ward."
"And what does this test include?" Flack inquired. He didn't want anyone doing anything to his kid that he didn't understand, or know about.
"It's an observation of the baby's skin colour and muscle tone along with his heart rate, reflexes and breathing. Five things, two points for each. Kieran's was at a four when he was first assessed."
"And?" Sam asked, sounding scared. "That's bad, right?"
"He was having a little bit of a hard time catching his breath," the nurse said. "When he cried for a prolonged period of time, we noticed he turned blue and started wheezing and coughing."
"Why?" Sam was looking at her new son, bundled up securely, his blue eyes wide open as they took in his surroundings. His face was healthy pink colour and his breathing sounded fine to her.
"The doctor wasn't sure. But he listened to your son's chest and it sounds clear. We gave Kieran a bit of oxygen and repeated the score and he was seven. Five minutes after that, we did it again and he was a nine."
"So is it something serious we need to keep an eye on or was it just a passing thing?" inquired Flack. "Is it a sign of a bigger problem?"
"It hasn't happened again, but the doctor may want to order some x-rays or an EKG."
"For what?" Sam asked. "Is he sick?"
"We just want to make sure it isn't something we need to worry about," the nurse assured her. "Sometimes it's a sign of congestive heart failure or…"
"What!?" Sam cried and promptly broke down into tears.
"It's just to rule things out," the nurse said, laying a hand on the young woman's back and rubbing it comfortingly. "He's a very healthy little boy by appearances. But we just want to be a hundred percent sure. You don't need to worry yourself about it. He's doing just fine right now."
"But what if he does that and I don't know what to do? Or he stops breathing or turns blue? What do I do?"
"Sam, we both know CPR," Flack reminded her gently. "And this is a hospital. Lots of doctors around, babe."
"If something like that happens you just use your emergency call button and someone will be right here," the nurse told her. "He's doing very well. Would you like to hold him now?"
Sam nodded and wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her hospital gown. "I'd like to put my own pyjamas on too," she said.
"We'll do that later," Flack promised. "Don't worry about stuff like that right now."
The nurse passed him the clipboard. "If you'll just sign the forms, dad. I'll let mom hold her little guy. Than I'll give you your ID bracelets. There's a serial number on each braclet that matches the number on the baby's. All three have to match to allow us to discharge the baby. And before you are discharged, you can sign the statement of live birth you need to apply for his birth certificate."
"Who knew it was so complicated," Flack commented, as he turned his attention to the papers in front of him.
"There's a lot that comes with having a baby," the nurse agreed, and gently lifted the tiny baby from his bed and placed him in his mother's arms. "You could try feeding him if you like. I've put bottles and some ready prepared formula along with diapers underneath. If he doesn't take to the breast, you can try some formula."
"Okay," Sam sounded apprehensive and nervous. "He's beautiful," she gushed, smiling down at her new baby. He was so innocent. So perfect. Everything she had ever imagined he would be and more. She plucked the soother from her son's mouth and untied her gown at the back of her neck. "I'm a little freaked out here," she admitted.
"All new moms usually are," the nurse said with a smile. "Here…let me help you…just lay him along your forearm and hold the back of his head and let's see what he can do."
"I feel like a moron," Sam mumbled.
"You're doing just fine," the other woman praised. "See, he knew exactly what to do. Now he might not get much or want to nurse long. So just be patient."
Flack finished filling out all of the necessary information and adding his signature to the bottom of each page. The nurse took the clipboard back and then wrapped a plastic ID band around each of the parents wrists.
"Now tomorrow sometime in the early afternoon, we ask you bring the baby to the nursery to be weighed," the nurse told them "Just to keep in eye on whether he's gaining or losing. And don't get too upset if he does lose. That's not uncommon in the first days of life. There's an infant tub and face cloths and towels in the bathroom for you to give him a bath. If you're nervous or unsure about anything, just give the nursery a call and someone will help you out. Okay?"
"I think so," Sam answered, unable to take her eyes of her baby. Sheer love and awe and wonderment in her eyes.
"Enjoy, mom and dad," the other women said as she headed for the door. "He's a beautiful baby. Congratulations."
"Thank you," Flack said, than turned his attention back to his wife and son. He had honestly never seen anything so incredibly beautiful as the sight of the two of them together. The adoration in both mother and child's eyes as they never broke contact with each other. "He's doing okay?" he asked, as he slipped back into the bed beside her.
Sam nodded and smiled. "He's a natural. A booby man just like you."
Flack grinned. He pressed a kiss to his wife's shoulder and wrapped his arm around her. Pulling the two most important people in his life tightly and protectively against him. "I love you so much, Samantha," he said, his lips against her cheek. "You're so beautiful and so amazing and I love you so much. Both of you. I love both of you."
"We love you, too," she said, and broke eye contact with her son to look at her husband. She kissed him softly and they smiled at each other before they both turned their attention to their little miracle.
Flack reached out to pluck the hat from Kieran's head. Check out all that hair," he said with a small laugh. "And you wonder why you had so much heartburn."
"He's just beautiful," Sam whispered and pressed a kiss to her son's thick, dark hair. "Everything about it. We did good, Donnie. Didn't we."
He smiled and laid a hand on the back of her head and kissed her temple. "We did amazing," he declared.
Stella, Mac and Hawkes spent a half an hour visiting. Stella couldn't get enough of the new baby and refused to put him down despite numerous insistence's from Mac that Kieran would much rather be spending his first hours on earth with his parents and not with his Aunt Stella. She'd have more chances to shower him with kisses and affection. Mom and dad deserved the time with their pride and joy. And, by the looks of their weary faces and the sounds of their yawns, that they could use some sleep.
Which was exactly what they did once the small group of guests departed. Flack closed the blinds on the windows and turned off his phone and placed a now sleeping Kieran back in his cot before climbing into bed with his exhausted and still teary wife. Careful to watch the IV lines inserted in the top of her right hand, he gathered her in his arms and kissed her and told her he loved her and was proud of her. And before they both knew it, they had drifted off into a blissful sleep.
It was Flack that heard it. The soft whimpering cry emanating from the cot parked by the side of the bed. His eyes immediately snapped open and he glanced over. Kieran was awake. He was making a tiny sound that reminded Flack of the mewing of a kitten and flailing his tiny arms around. He had somehow managed to wriggle the top half of his body out of his swaddling and didn't sound too happy about the whole thing.
Flack wasn't sure how long they'd actually been asleep. Just that he still felt fuzzy headed and exhausted and wanted nothing better to do than just close his eyes and continue on with his previous activities. But one look at his sleeping wife encouraged him to be the one to take care of the baby this time around. She looked peaceful with her dark eyelashes falling on her cheeks and a soft smile on her lips. He didn't have the heart to wake her. So, he decided, as he slipped out of bed, as long as the kid didn't start crying in earnest, it was time for him and his son to get to know each other better.
"Hey, buddy," he whispered as he approached the cot. "It's okay…don't cry. You can't possibly be hungry. That was a pretty good meal you had earlier. Why don't you and I take a little walk and let your mom get some sleep?"
He scooped the baby up confidently and cradled Kieran gently along one arm. He couldn't get over how tiny his son was. He'd never seen anything that tiny before in his entire life. And he couldn't get over how utterly perfect it felt to be holding this amazing miracle in his arms. How amazing it felt when he thought that he was now a father. This innocent creature was totally dependant on him. And he'd never felt that much unconditional and undying love before.
"That's your mommy," Flack said to his son, as he paused by the side of the bed. "Isn't she beautiful? She did an amazing job bringing you into the world. One day, you're going to grow up and meet some really pretty, incredible girl just like her that's going to make you unbelievably happy just like your mommy has made me. But don't go rushing into things. Don't just settle for the first girl that comes along. You make sure that she's the one you really, really want to spend the rest of your life with."
Kieran, now quiet, stared up at his father with his huge blue eyes.
"Trust me, kid. Waiting for that one is so worth it," Flack continued, as he carried his son around the dimly lit room. "You'll never regret it. Forever is a long time but when you've got that one girl that takes your breath away," he shook his head. "There's nothing in the world like it. But of course, before all that happens you have to learn to walk and toilet train and go to school. College, too. I want you to be smart just like your mom. Don't be like me, okay? I want more for you than that."
He smiled down at the baby and trailed a finger tip along Kieran's nose.
"You're gonna have a great life, kid. Your mommy and I will make sure of that. You're going to have everything we never did growing up. Love mostly. Because we loved you before you were ever born and we're never going to stop loving you. Ever."
He pressed a kiss to his son's forehead.
"You're going be okay, kid," Flack told him. "I'm new to this daddy thing so you're going to have to go easy on me a bit. Until I learn the ropes. But I figure, we're both new to this game so we can work together and make up our own rules. Sound good?"
Kieran made a soft gurgling noise.
"Just know that I'll always love you," Flack whispered. "To the day I die. Always remember that. Well, that and your mother is a big old nag that takes some getting used to. But you'll manage. I do. Just let it go in one ear and out the other and it's all good."
"I heard that," Sam mumbled from across the room.
"And she can hear everything," Flack told his son. "And eyes in the back of her head. Just giving you the heads up. And one more thing, promise me when you're eighteen you'll get drafted first overall in the NHL, play for the Rangers and make about ten mill a year so I can retire. Deal?"
"What are you teaching him?" Sam asked, as she yawned noisily and sat up in bed.
Flack smiled and pressed his lips to his son's forehead once again.
"That's just between me and my boy," he said.
Thanks to everyone that is reading and reviewing! I appreciate each and every one of you! Even all you lurkers and those adding me to alerts and favourites! Thanks a bunch!
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