CHAPTER TEN || fragile

*Christian POV*

"Christian." Dimitri walks over to where I'm sitting at the lunch table with Liss and Eddie. He gives them a brief nod then looks at me- he seems concerned, so I automatically get the assumption something has happened to Rose. You don't have to be the most observant person ever to realize there is something going on between them. They look at each other the same way me and Lissa do.

"Rose is at your room, she should meet you soon." Something isn't right. Dimitri's eyes look worried, although he's trying his best to look as if nothing is wrong.

"Is she okay?" I ask, truly concerned. In the past, Rose and I haven't exactly been besties, but after Spokane it's like an unbreakable bond has wrapped around us. She's like the sister I never had; we argue but still love each other. She has saved Lissa's life; she has saved my life.

"Fine, but… do you know what happened earlier? When she… froze?" It's the first time I have ever heard Dimitri's voice pause or falter. I shake my head, wishing I knew. He looks away, probably lost in thought.

"I'll stop by my room to get her- she doesn't know where my last lesson is." I tell him. Dimitri looks instantly relieved and gives me a thankful glance. I kiss Liss goodbye and head to my room, hearing Dimitri talk to Eddie about his good field experience marks. I'm glad Eddie is doing well; he is going to be a great guardian, just like Rose.

I walk straight into my room. When she isn't in the main part, I try the door to the bathroom. It's unlocked.

Rose is standing by the sink. I don't see it at first; I just think she's staring into the mirror.

"I always thought you were vain- but not coming to guard me because you're looking in the mirror is slightly ridiculous." I laugh.

She seems to jerk slightly, shocked by my presence behind her. I think I hear her curse, but it's too quietly for me to tell. To my surprise, she doesn't turn… just continues to stand there, her back to me. "I'll be out in a second." She says. Her voice is weird, like she's shaking so bad she can barely get the words to pass her lips.

"Okaaay." I walk over to her, wanting to make sure she's not crying or some shit. If she is I'll call Lissa over- I may love Rose, but I'm not about to start having girl to girl chats with her. I stand by her side; she's looking down, but there aren't any tears- thank god.

I'm about to talk again, my mouth opening, when I finally see what she's looking at. My eyes travel through her line of sight.

In one hand, her right, she holds a razor, smeared with blood. I don't know what she holds in the other, if anything, because my eyes are glued on her left wrist.

Her whole forearm is covered in perfect rows of cuts. Some are scarred over, some are still bleeding. In my shocked state, I see the most recent ones are still dripping steadily into the sink. Her arm lies against the side, as if it's so tired she can barely lift it.

"Fuck." I choke. I don't know what to do. She just continues to stand there, looking down. "Rose…" The blood is still dripping, even though there's already a large pool of it in the sink. Her fingers twitch, covered in red streaks as the blood runs down her arm.

"I-I'm sorry." She whispers, voice heavy with tears. Now she's crying. I fall back into memories with Lissa, when she used to do this thing. I didn't know what to do then, so I sure as hell don't know what to do now. "I fell…"

I almost laugh at her desperate lie, but I'm nearly crying myself. My eyes sting with unshed tears. Not knowing what to do other than just be there for her, I grab her and hold her hands in mine, waiting until she meets my eyes. I give her the kindest look I can, not wanting her to be afraid.

"Everything's going to be okay." I tell her, even if it's a lie. "I'm not going to hurt you." Her blood calls to me, but I push back the urge, disgusted with myself.

Rose nods, a sob breaking her lips apart. "Please don't tell anyone," she begs, "especially not Liss or anyone, please-" Her words shudder, as if they are caught in her throat. I hear her blood splatter as it falls onto the floor.

"I won't, Rose." I promise her, beginning to choke on tears of my own. She's freezing, so I let go of her hands and pull her into a hug. Her whole body, usually admired for strength and beauty, is shaking. She's a fragile as a little girl. The razor falls soundlessly from her now limp fingers and quietly hits the ground.

I let her head rest against my chest and cross my arms round her shoulders, holding her tightly so she can cry. Now that she can't see me, I let out a sob, wishing I could protect her, my friend, my sister. Her arms finally move as she wraps them around my waist. She's freezing, but her blood is warm as it soaks through my t-shirt. We both don't care.

With gentle hands, I stroke her hair, wishing I could somehow warm her up. She's in shock, I think. I don't know. I just know that I need her to feel safe.

This is how, I realize, she has been dealing with Mason's death. She's been suffering for weeks and none of us noticed. She's been hiding, just to protect us from her pain. The thought makes me cry almost as hard as her.

We both cry wordlessly for a long time.

When I pull back, her eyes are shadowed and bloodshot, her face pale. She hasn't stopped shaking yet. "Let's get you cleaned up, okay? You're safe." I tell her, one hand still softly touching her hair. She simply nods, looking more broken and as innocent as I have ever seen anybody.

I bite my lip, not really knowing where to start. There's blood everywhere, mixed in with tears. With kind eyes, I hold one of her hands and lean over to turn on the shower.

I gently sit with her on the side of the bathtub, holding the shower head from the wall so that I can rinse her arms. She holds them out for me as I tenderly wash away the blood with the warm water. The drain runs red and I don't stop until it is clear.

I've never really used first aid stuff before, but I try my best. With delicate movements, I rub some antiseptic onto her cuts, cringing when I hear her whimper from the sting. I apologise and press some medical pads over the damage before wrapping everything up in gauze. When I'm done, I take her hand again, wanting to get all the comfort I can through the simple contact.

After helping her stand and walk over to her suitcase in the bedroom, I find some clothes for her to change into. A black long sleeved top and a pair of leggings look the most comfortable, so I pass them to her. She blushes softly and I can't think of anything other than how thankful I am that some colour is coming into her cheeks. When she gives the bathroom a frightened look, I let her change in the bedroom, taking the short time to quickly clean the other room.

I flush away the bloody tissues and throw the towel used to clean in the floor in the bin. I'm not sure what to do with the razor. I pick it up and wash it in the sink, realizing by the logo that it was one of mine. With a shudder, I take all of the other razors from the cabinet and hide them in the best place I can. Then, with a sigh, I flush the dirty razor Rose had used down the toilet.

Fuck. This feels like a nightmare, I reflect unhappily as I change into some clean clothes that I can sleep in.

Before I leave, I remember the state of Rose's tear stained face, so I grab a warm wash cloth and a hairbrush.

Rose stands in the middle of the room, fingers tugging on her sleeves. I pull her to my bed, not wanting her to sleep on the floor, and spend a while silently washing her face. Her eyes close tiredly as I soothingly guide the cloth over her features.

I'm brushing her hair until it begins to shine, the way Lissa likes hers, when Rose speaks again. Her raspy voice makes me cringe, but I don't halt my movements.

"I'm so sorry, Christian."

I shake my head. "Don't apologise. I should be the one saying sorry for everything you have been through."

She closes her eyes again, exhaustion beginning to find its way into her system. "Please don't tell."

"I won't. Go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up, I promise. I'm not going anywhere."

"Okay." She whispers. I tuck her into the covers tell her goodnight, turning off the lights and shuffling over to the makeshift bed on the floor. Everyone will be wondering where we are, but it doesn't matter.

All that matters is that Rose feels safe.

A/N So, I hope you liked it and please tell me what you thought- I love constructive criticism! And ahh, I have no idea how LuPeters and Dimka's chick guessed that Christian would find out first, but you were right. xD I know that some people wish that Dimitri would have found out, but I don't think he would have yet. With Dimitri, Rose's guard is up, she won't take any chances. Christian, however, well- they're sharing a room, so she wouldn't have been able to hide it much longer. And, do not worry, although I ship Rose x Christian, this is a pure Dimitri x Rose fanfiction. :) I love you all and you're just all so supportive- I want to give you all a massive hug. :')

If you review I will love you forever and ever. :)