DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN CSI:NY OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS. I DO HOWEVER, OWN SAMANTHA FLACK AND BABY KIERAN

A/N: JUST GIVING A HEADS UP FOLKS! I AM GOING AWAY THIS WEEKEND. SATURDAY, SUNDAY AND EARLY MONDAY. IT'S THANKSGIVING HERE AND I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH TIME, IF ANY, I WILL GET TO WRITE. SO HOPEFULLY, YOU GUYS WILL STILL BE HERE WHEN I GET BACK! THANKS, BEG75

Aunties and Uncles

"My whole life is turned around
I was lost and now I'm found
A baby changes everything."
-A Baby Changes Everything, Faith Hill

Adam and Gus paused outside of Samantha's hospital room.

It was ten to nine in the morning. Outside a fierce blizzard raged. Heavy winds shook the windows and threatened to topple trees and had prompted emergency services to declare a high wind warning for anyone travelling over the city's many bridges. There were downed power lines in areas of each boroughs. Queens and Long Island being the most affected thanks to the build up of ice and snow that downed some electrical wires and left the majority of residents without power for the last six hours. The department of health had issued an extreme cold alert. The NYPD officers unfortunate enough to be working the beat in such horrible conditions were advised to get all homeless citizens off of the streets and to shelters. The shelters themselves were nearly at full capacity and now schools were using their cafeterias and gyms and auditoriums to house the less fortunate.

Women's and Children's Hospital was warm and cozy. Especially the fourth floor. Ward B was a hub of activity. Nurses in cheerful, bright scrubs and just as cheerful smiles on their faces buzzed through the halls and in and out of patients' rooms. Babies could be heard crying through closed doors, the voices of their parents drifting out as well as they attempted to soothe them. Visiting hours had started at eight a.m. and guests were coming and going. Congratulating new parents and crying and laughing as they met the newest members of the family.

It had taken Adam and Gus close to an hour to get to the hospital. The roads were treacherous at best. Gus had struggled during the drive to see just a couple of feet in front of her. The windshield wipers on high speed and doing very little to combat the heavy, rapidly falling snow. Adam had anxious and tense throughout the entire ride. Unable to stop fidgeting in his seat. He bit his nails and offered up curse words that Gus had rarely ever heard escaping from his lips, ranting and raving at the crappy weather and the even crappier drivers. He just wanted to get to the hospital to see his sister and his new nephew. And like a kid who didn't understand why it was taking so long to get to his favourite amusement park, he just couldn't seem to grasp the concept that people were driving slow to prevent themselves from causing a major wreck and killing either themselves or someone else.

He had wanted to leave as soon as Flack had called. He was already pulling on some clothes the moment he hung up the phone. Gus had managed to convince him -although it had not been easy and quite the struggle- that the best course of action was to give Samantha and Flack some time to adjust to having a new baby. Let them have some along time together and with their son. Some quiet family time. And some rest if that was at all possible with the overwhelming excitement they were no doubt feeling. It also gave Gus some time to be able to hit the gift shop at the hospital. Because it didn't open until visiting hours started and there was no way she was going to see her nephew empty handed.

Now Adam carried a blue and white stripped ceramic vase bursting with white and yellow roses and carnations and a tiny balloon stuck in the middle of it all that read IT'S A BOY!. Clutched tightly in Gus' hand was a medium size gift bag adorned with the picture of a teddy bear fast asleep in the crook of a half moon. Inside of which was a handful of sleepers, two outfits and some burping towels wrapped in tissue paper.

The door to the private room was open slightly but there was not even the slightest sound drifting out to greet them. A stark contrast to the hustle and bustle that was going on out in the hallway.

"Maybe this wasn't a good time," Gus whispered to her fiance.

"What?" Adam looked at her as if she'd grown another head. "How can it not be a good time? My sister just had a baby not too long ago! My nephew's in there! I wanna see him!"

"Adam, listen to how quiet it is," Gus tried to rationalize with him. "Sam and Don are probably exhausted. Sam for sure. She's no doubt trying to get as much rest as possible. And the baby is most likely asleep too. Why bother them?"

"Why bother them?" Adam nearly shouted. "Why bother them?"

Gus clamped her free hand over his mouth. "Did you not hear me? They are probably asleep! Why are you so hell bent on disturbing them! Quit acting like a damn baby!"

"I've never been an uncle before," he said, as he pried her hand away from his mouth. "This is a huge deal. I want to see my nephew."

"And you're nephew is less than six hours old and needs as much rest as he can get. Not to mention Sammie more than likely suffered like hell giving birth. So why do you have to go in there and upset the apple cart?"

"I just want to see him," Adam lamented. "I just want to see him and maybe hold him."

"If he's sleeping…"

"If he's sleeping I'll just stand by the side of his crib or whatever and look at him," Adam assured her. "I won't make any noise or wake him or Sammie up. I just want to see my nephew and make sure my sister is doing okay."

Gus sighed heavily. "Fine…but I don't want you going in there and waking either of them up. Understand me? It's not like Kieran is going anywhere. He's here permanently. So you'll get lots of time with him. Promise me you won't disturb them."

"I promise," Adam vowed. "I just want to see them. That's it."

"Okay," Gus said, and reached out to knock lightly on the door.

Flack couldn't sleep. It had been more than two hours since he'd been woken up by Kieran's slight fussing. Since than, the baby had had another meal and two dirty diapers. One with just urine and the other with a foul smelling, hideous looking black stool that had Flack scrambling to wake up his wife thinking there was something desperately wrong with their son. He'd never seen anything like it. It reminded him of tar and as far as he was concerned, nothing that looked like that should be coming out of anyone. His eyes had widened in horror and he'd scooped his baby up, naked from the waist down and marched over to his sleeping wife and all but screamed at her to wake up. That something was terribly wrong with Kieran. She'd woken up with a start, terrified the baby had stopped breathing, to find her husband at the side of the bed, their diaper-less son held out to her.

He'd explained to her what he had come across and she'd looked like she wanted to kill him. She'd explained, as calmly as she could in a tone mixed with irritation and annoyance, that it was meconium. The earliest bowel movements of infants. Materials that the baby had ingested during his time in the uterus. The sheer idea of it had made Flack nearly throw up. And than Sam's eyes had widened and she'd told him that he now had a bigger mess to clean up. Because his son had just peed all over the place.

It had taken nearly twenty minutes to clean up after the baby. Flack couldn't understand how something that small could have that much urine in him. The kid was like a seven pound camel for crying out loud. The nurse had tried to hide her amusement when he'd, somewhat embarrassed, had explained what had happened while she was changing the sheets on Sam's bed and a janitor was moping the floor.

"Word of advice," the nurse had said before she left. "Baby boys are armed and dangerous."

With Kieran once again pacified and swaddled and returned to his bed, Sam had gone back to sleep and Flack grabbed the change of clothes he'd stashed in Sam's overnight back two weeks ago when the doctor had suggested having the belongings packed in advance. He'd been smart enough to toss in a travel toothbrush and toothpaste as well and snagged them and the clothes and headed for the bathroom. There were towels and face cloths sitting on a shelf over the toilet. He had briefly contemplated taking a shower but decided to leave it until Sam was awake and able to take care of the baby if he woke up.

He had freshened himself up. A simple touch to the side of his scratchy face, had him adding shaving to his mental list of things to do. He'd slipped into a pair of tattered, worn jeans and a simple black t-shirt and headed back into the room in his bare feet and retreated to the couch. He'd stretched out and attempted to catch some shut eye himself but his body was too wound up. His brain just wouldn't shut off. So he surfed the 'net on his phone for a bit, watched CNN with the volume on mute, and thought about nothing but his wife and his son. Eventually he gave up on trying to relax and got up and went over to the bassinet and carefully and tenderly removed his sleeping son. He just couldn't seem to be able to get enough of the baby. He was in utter awe and wonderment of his tiny, precious son and wanted nothing more than to spend as much time with him as possible.

He'd gone back to the couch and stretched out and laid Kieran along his thighs. He unwrapped his son from his swaddling and checked him out from head to toe. Unbuttoning the jammies to softly stroke those tiny wrinkled feet and possibly the smallest toes he'd ever seen. He'd tucked Kieran back in and buttoned him back up and checked out the equally as petite and wrinkled hands. He ran a finger tip over that button like freckled splattered nose and the soft rosy lips and the impossibly tiny ears. He combed gentle fingers through thick, dark hair and revelled in everything that was pure and innocent and beautiful there before him.

And than the soft knock had come to the door. He wasn't about to call out to whoever it was to go away. He didn't want to disturb Sam or the baby, so instead he'd lifted Kieran into his chest and headed across the room to see who it was. He pulled open the door and found Gus and Adam staring at him with wide, almost disbelieving eyes.

"What?" he asked.

Gus had never thought she'd see the day she walked in on the tough, often abrasive homicide detective cradling an infant to his chest. His right hand supporting the baby's bum and the left on the back of the tiny head to keep the neck steady. It just seemed to surreal. Two huge major changes had taken over Don Flack Jr in the past two weeks. One was that thick wedding band on full display. The other was that baby so lovingly and tenderly sleeping against him.

"You are a thing of beauty, Flack," she declared.

He arched a quizzical eyebrow.

"There's something insanely beautiful about a big, strong guy holding such a tiny baby," she told him.

"Yeah?" a bright smile crossed his face. "So you're saying my kid's a chick magnet?"

"Don't go using the poor thing to hook up with random women," Gus warned him.

"Only one woman I need," Flack declared.

"How's Sammie doing?"

"Okay. She's a bit sore from popping those stitches. Let's just say she'll be walking exceptionally slow for a while. But they've got her on pain meds. She's sleeping right now."

Adam looked disappointed.

"Doesn't mean you can't come in though," Flack told his brother in law quickly. "We can hang out in the living room."

"The living room?" Gus asked, as Flack pushed the door open with his foot.

He nodded. "Check this place out. Nicer than your average hotel room in this city. Better furniture and electronics than Sam and I have at our place. I'm seriously considering boosting the t.v."

"Not bad," Adam said with an appreciative nod as he looked around.

While Flack and Gus retreated to the seating area, he went and sat the arrangement of flowers on the window sill and stood at the side of his sister's bed. He didn't have the heart to wake her. Instead he reached out to smooth hair away from his face and leaned over the railing on the bed to press a gentle kiss to her forehead.

"We brought a few things for Kieran," Gus told Flack, holding up the gift bag.

"You guys didn't need to buy him anything," Flack responded, as he lowered himself onto the couch.

"We wanted to," Gus assured him. "Not bring a present for a new baby? How rude is that?" she shed her winter coat and tossed it on a nearby chair and took a seat on the love seat across from the homicide detective. "How's he doing?" she asked, nodding at the baby.

"Pretty good. He's eating well so that's a good thing. Sam's not getting much milk wise so we're giving him formula to things start working properly. He's a got a big appetite."

"Well we know which parent he gets that from," Gus said, winking playfully at Flack. "He's healthy?"

"He gave the doctor a little scare when he first got here. I guess he was crying really bad and he lost his breath and started gagging and coughing and turned blue. They gave him some oxygen and it never happened again so they're not sure what that was all about."

"Are they going to do tests?" she asked.

"Might do a chest x-ray and an echo before he goes home," Flack replied. "Doc says his lungs are clear and everything sounds fine."

Adam joined them. Sitting down beside Gus. He looked scared and nervous.

"What's up with you?" Flack asked.

"I've never been around a newborn before," the lab tech replied. "He scares me."

"He's harmless," Flack assured his brother in law and stood up slowly. "You've got nothing to worry about. He's already took a leak on both me and Sam, so I think he might spare you."

"What are you doing?" Adam asked in sheer terror as he realized his brother in law was walking towards him.

"I'm letting ya hold your nephew," Flack replied simply. "Now just relax and hold him along your forearm and you'll be just fine."

"I don't know if…" Adam attempted to argue, but soon found the baby placed delicately in his arms.

"Now if you guys will excuse me, I need to go somewhere and pass out," Flack only half joked as he returned to the couch. "He's all yours. Have fun."

Adam stared down at the sleeping infant. He was amazed. That anything could possibly be that small, and that his sister and the man sitting across from him had made something so astoundingly beautiful. They had achieved the miracle of life together. And Adam had no words to describe the amount of pride and love he had for both of them. Or for his nephew. Tears threatened. His hands shook.

"It's okay," Flack assured his brother in law. "I've been a blubbering, overly sensitive bitch since he was born."

Adam managed a laugh. And let the tears flow free.

Gus smiled and pressed a kiss to her fiance's cheek and rubbed his back soothingly. "How much did he weigh?" she asked Flack.

"Seven pounds, eleven ounces. Small, huh? Sam and I were sure he was at least ten with all the weight she put on. Apparently she was retaining a whole lot of water. And he was twenty one inches long."

"Tall," Gus said. "Guess that's what you get when dad is six foot two, though."

"He's going to be eighteen and weigh two fifty and stand six foot six," Flack declared. "And he's going to be just punishing people playing for the Rangers."

Gus rolled her eyes. "Don't start with that already. He's what? Six hours old and you have his future already planned out? He's beautiful, Don. Congratulations."

"Thank you," he said with a proud grin.

"How's it feel?" she asked. "To be a father?"

"Scary," he admitted. "I'm nervous. Paranoid something is going to go wrong. But mostly, all I feel is this amazing, overwhelming love for him and Sam that I can't even find words to describe."

"Don't get me started even more," Adam sniffled.

"You'll know what I mean when you and Broussard here starting knocking 'em out," Flack told him.

"Bite your tongue," Gus scolded him. "We are planning on staying baby free."

"You guys seriously do not know what you're missing," Flack told her. "It's incredible. To look at him and know that he started out the size of a pea inside of Sam and ended up looking like that? To look at him and realize that I helped create him? Surreal. Absolutely surreal."

"You are just a grinning fool," Gus declared. "You are one proud papa."

"I am," Flack agreed. "On top of being one exhausted papa."

"Get use to it," Gus said, as Adam laid the baby in her arms and than stood up. "Lots of sleepless nights ahead, Flack."

"I know," he sighed, than glanced up at his brother in law standing in front of him, his hand outstretched.

"Congrats," Adam said through his tears.

Flack ignored the hand offered to him and stood up and embraced the younger man tightly.

"Thank you," Adam said. "For taking such good care of my sister. For loving her enough to create something like that. And for not taking off when she found out she was having him. That was my fear, you know. That you'd bail on her."

"I know," Flack told him. "But that never, ever crossed my mind. Hurting your sister was never on my agenda."

"I know that now," Adam said, wiping his eyes as he pulled away from his brother in law. "I'm sorry I didn't realize that before. I just can't believe so much as happened in so little time."

Flack nodded in agreement and looked over his shoulder at his peacefully sleeping wife, than at his son cradled lovingly in Gus' arms.

"You can say that again," he said.

Danny wasn't sure this was a good idea.

He had stayed with Carmen at the hospital until she was ready to be released. They had done little more than sit in the same room together, Danny in the bedside while Carmen in the hospital bed had her face turned away from him so that he couldn't see her crying. He had attempted to talk to her about what had happened. About losing the baby no one knew she was expecting and the vicious, heart broken words that Speed had tossed her way before storming out of the room. In his heart, Danny knew it was over. Permanently. And he knew that Carmen did to. But in the classic foolish pride she so often exhibited, she clammed up and refused to talk about it. Even Erica, who had had came by to make sure that the two of them were alright, had been unable to get through to her friend. And normally she could make anyone open up to her.

He had somehow managed to drift off the sleep in that uncomfortable bedside chair. A mixture of the unbelievable warmth in the room and the pain killers he was downing like candy finally relaxing his body enough to let exhaustion creep him. When he finally stirred, it was to Carmen attempting to eat some breakfast brought to her in room, Erica long gone, and his cell phone ringing.

It was Hawkes. Delivering the news that baby Kieran had been brought successfully into the world via a quick and unexpected home birth. It was a bittersweet moment. Danny was thrilled for his best friend. He knew how long and often difficult the pregnancy had been, and how anxious and excited Flack was to be becoming a father. Yet at the same time, Carmen was going through her own hell and needed someone to be there for her, preventing Danny from being able to rush out and head over to meet his new godson. He'd delivered the news to her as emotionless as possible. Not wanting talk of the new baby to overshadow the fact that she had lost her own just hours before. The last thing he wanted to do was make light of her situation. Or Flack and Sam's for that matter.

Carmen, despite her broken heart and feeling of insufferable loss, had insisted that Danny take her to see the baby. He had resisted at first. He didn't want to see her putting herself through any more torment. Both physically and mentally. Although his own pain from his injuries, as bad as it was, was in no way going to prevent him from going to see Flack's new son. He had just planned on doing it after he had made sure Carmen got home safe and sound.

She had had other ideas. She wouldn't take no for an answer. Which was how, after quarter after twelve in the afternoon, after making pit spots at both of their places to change their clothes and freshen up, Danny found himself escorting a slow moving Carmen through the front doors of Women's and Children's and up to the fourth floor.

The door to Sam's room was wide open. From inside they could hear Sam talking quietly but getting no response in return save for the slight whimpering and fussing of the baby. Danny poked his head in the spacious room and saw mommy and baby in the hospital bed. No sign of dad.

Sam was speaking calmly and patiently to the tiny infant along her arm. Free of the swaddling his arms and legs were flailing. His hands covered with small cotton mittens. His mother trying to coax him into eating the plastic bottle of formula in her hand.

"Up to some visitors?" Danny asked, as Sam turned her head to the sound of him knocking softly on the door.

"Sure," she replied with a bright smile. Although she looked exhausted and weary.

"Where's dad?" Danny asked, as he, with Carmen holding onto his arm for support, made his way into the room.

Sam pointed in the direction of the couch. "He's sleeping," she whispered.

"You're letting him sleep?" Danny laughed. "What's wrong with you? You should be sleeping and he should be doing all the work."

"He has been. I just woke up about an hour ago. He's been taking care of Kieran since about six thirty."

"All by himself?" Danny asked, arching an eyebrow.

Sam nodded.

"Brave man," Danny declared. He and Carmen approached the bed. "How ya feelin', Brooklyn?" he asked, letting go of Carmen in favour of offering a one arm embrace the tiny brunette in the hospital bed.

"I'm okay," she replied. "Tired. Sore. You guys are okay? I'm surprised to see you two here after the accident. Is everything alright?"

"We'll live," Danny assured her. "Nothing that won't heal. Bigger and more important news is you and the little guy here. How's he doing?" he reached out to softly touch the baby's hair and face and hands.

"So far so good," she said. "But he's always hungry."

"Takes after his old man," Danny laughed. Than sniffled.

Sam grinned up at him. "Danny Messer," she said. "Are you going all cry baby on me?"

"Never," he vowed. "I just got allergies or a cold."

"Mm-hm…."

"I'll let you two be, let the big buy finish his lunch. I'm going to go and wake up his proud papa. Congratulations, Sam. He's beautiful."

"Thank you," she said with a smile, and accepted kisses to both her cheeks.

Danny headed over to the seating area and smirked at the sight of his best friend face down, fast asleep on the couch. One arm and one leg dangling over the side.

"Sleeping beauty," he said in a loud voice as he leaned down to place a hand on Flack's shoulder and shake him aggressively. "Hey…princess, wake up!"

"Fuck you," Flack muttered, and reached out to shove Danny's hand off of him.

"Come on, get up," the CSI insisted. "I came to visit you guys in my condition and you got the nerve to sleep? Show some respect for the walking wounded."

"Piss off, Messer," Flack mumbled. "Seriously. I'm in no mood. You're lucky I'm even somewhat lucid I'm so tired."

"Quit acting like a whiny little bitch," Danny scolded, and grabbing his best friend by one shoulder, proceeding to dump Flack on his back on the floor next to the couch.

"You sonofabitch," Flack cursed through gritted teeth. "Right when my back was killing me, too. What do you want from me? I've been up for almost twenty four hours if I don't count the three hours I managed to get before Santucci woke me."

"Well get used to a lot of sleepless moments now that you got a kid," Danny told him, and offered a hand to help his friend to his feet.

Flack sat up slowly and gingerly and yawned noisily and rubbed at his tired eyes with his fists. "What are you even doing here?" he asked, pushing Danny's hand away and turning sideways to use the couch to pull himself to his feet. "Didn't expect to see you here after what you went through."

"Carmen and I wanted to come by. Nothing could stop us from seeing our godson."

Flack glanced over towards the bed where Carmen and Sam were talking quietly while Sam fed Kieran a bottle of formula.

"Hear from Speedle?" he asked Danny in a low voice.

The other man nodded. And Flack could tell by the way his best friend's mouth was set in a grim line that whatever had gone done had not been good.

"What's going on, Dan-o?" Flack asked. "He give up his shield?"

"Among other things," Danny replied. "Let's not talk about this here, alright? No sense getting your wife all upset when the only thing you guys should be concerning yourselves with is your new baby. How is he? Doing good?"

"So far so good. No problems. Had a bit of a scare when he first got here and had some trouble breathing. But it hasn't happened since. It was amazing, Danny. Watching the whole thing. Seeing Sam give birth to him. Unbelievable scary and beautiful all at the same time."

"Sounds like you did good," Danny praised. "Feel any different? Being a father?"

"Not really. I guess the whole older and wiser thing is still a little ways off. I'm just disgustingly happy and proud and insanely exhausted."

"You guys did good," Danny told him. "Damn good. He's a beautiful baby. Thank God he looks like his mother, huh?" he teased. "Hopefully he gets her brains, too."

"He's all his dad, Mess. Trust me."

"Well I'm proud of you guys. Getting married and bringing him into the world two weeks later, that's a lot to deal with. And you guys just handled it like pros. Come here," Danny reached out and drew his much taller, bigger friend into a tight hug. "Nice job, Flack. Couldn't have done it better myself."

"Thanks…it was…crazy…that's the only way to describe it."

"You wanna go and grab a coffee?" Danny asked, releasing his friend. "You look like you can use one. Sam and the baby are okay if you take off for a bit? I can give you the heads up."

"They'll be fine without me for a bit. They can do the whole mommy and baby bonding thing. This kangaroo care shit the nurses keep going on about."

"What's that?" Danny asked curiously, as Flack gathered up a pair of socks and running shoes he'd tossed into the bag.

"Kangaroo care? It's this bonding thing they're big on. You strip the baby down to just his diaper, take your shirt off and let him lie on your chest. Skin to skin contact type thing. The nurses were telling us about it."

"You gonna try it?"

Flack snorted as he slipped into his socks. "You nuts? Do I look like the type to do something like that? Sam said she's going to give it a try."

"She has to take her shirt off and what not?"

Flack nodded and laced up his runners.

"In that case maybe we should stick around and observe."

"You're a pig, Messer," Flack declared. He went over to the bed and leaned over to kiss Sam softly on the top of her head. "I'm going to go and grab some coffee and something to eat. You and Kieran going to be okay?"

She nodded and turned her face up for a kiss. "Can you bring me back some milk and a tea and maybe a muffin or something? I know lunch will be here soon, but I don't exactly put much stock in hospital food."

"No problem," he said, and bent down to press a kiss to Kieran's forehead. "No giving your mom a hard time," he told the baby.

"Congratulations, Don," Carmen said as she rose slowly to her feet to hug him. "He's gorgeous."

"Thanks…I think we'll keep him. I know it must be hard. You know, seeing him after…"

"I'm fine," she assured him. "I wouldn't be here if I wasn't. Bring me back something too?"

He nodded and headed towards Danny waiting at the door. "Love you guys," he called to Sam and the baby.

"We love you, too," she told him.

"Love you guys," Danny mocked in sing song voice as he clapped his best friend on the back. "You sappy bastard."

Carmen and Sam smiled at each other as the two men disappeared from the room.

"Seems like Flack's taking pretty good to this whole daddy thing," Carmen said.

"He's great, Carmen. I have no complaints. He was amazing during the birth and he's been waiting on me and the baby hand and foot since we got here. Letting me sleep and tending to Kieran so I can get my rest. He had a little mishap with his first diaper change, but other than that, he's just relishing his new role."

"I can tell. I mean, I always could tell how he felt about you when he so as much looked at you before, but now, after seeing you have his son, I don't know. That look he has is even deeper. More intense. So you handled it okay? The birth thing?"

"Wasn't the way I was expecting it to happen," she admitted. "Thank God for Hawkes. He just stepped up and took control. I don't know what we would have done without him. Or Stella. She was a Godsend, too."

"I'm proud of you and Don," Carmen told her, reaching out to run a hand over the baby's hair. "Look what the two of you did. What you manage to make together. It's just incredible. Kieran's incredible. You guys achieved the miracle of life. And did a hell of a job by looking at this little guy here. No surprising. Look at what his parents look like. No way you and Don could possibly have an ugly baby."

"He's beautiful," Sam beamed down at her son. "But than, I am prejudiced just a bit."

She removed the bottle from the baby's mouth and checked the level of the formula.

"You little piglet," she said with a laugh. "You took the whole four ounces. Three is suppose to suffice someone you're size."

She reached over to set the bottle on the bedside table and lifted Kieran to her chest, his stomach against her as she supported his head with one hand and burped him with the other.

"I thought you were adamant about breastfeeding," Carmen commented.

"I was. But nothing is working up to par right now so he's making do with the formula. And eating like crazy!"

Both of the women's eyes widened as the baby let out a loud, resounding burp.

"Whoa," Carmen laughed. "Definitely his father's son or what."

"Unfortunately," Sam said with a grimace as she cast a glance at her shoulder. "He's got a bit of a puking issue going on. He does it a lot."

"He's a baby," Carmen reasoned, and got a Kleenex to clean off her friend's arm for her.

"Are you doing okay?" Sam asked. "Donnie told me about the baby and the fight that you and Tim got into and…"

"I'm coping," Carmen responded and gave a brave smile.

"Have you talked to Tim since or…"

"He's gone, Sammie," she said. "He's gone."

"Well you guys got back together despite the whole Mathew thing. So there's nothing you two can't get through and…"

"Permanently," Carmen told her. "He's gone. He's left New York."

"He quit?"

She nodded and finished dabbing the spit up off her friend's shoulder.

"What did he say to you? Did he at least apologize or…."

"He left. That's all there is to it. No note, no goodbye, nothing."

"I'm sorry, Carmen," Sam shook her head sadly. "That's just not right. I can't believe he'd do that to you. I can't believe he'd be the type to do something like that at a time like this. When you need him the most."

"I guess no one knew him like they thought they did," the red head sighed. "And that includes me."

Tears welled in Sam's eyes. "That's terrible. I'm sorry…so sorry…"

"Hey, don't be getting yourself like this," Carmen scolded. "You should be on top of the world right now. You have an amazing, wonderful and loving husband, this new gorgeous little baby. You're life is incredible and you deserve to be happy."

"It's hard to be when someone you love is going through all of that," Sam reasoned.

"Let's not worry about it right now. Okay? Let's concentrate on you and Don and Kieran. You guys are a family now. How does it feel?"

"Surreal," Sam admitted. "Incredible. A little scary. I mean, I'm someone's mother now," she rubbed the baby's back softly and kissed the side of his head. "I have a baby. A son. And I love him and Don so much. I don't ever want this feeling to go away, Carmen."

The other woman smiled and reached out to lay her hand on Sam's arm.

"I don't want that either," she said.

"So what's up, Messer?" Flack asked, as the two men sat at small table at the back of the main floor cafeteria with steaming cups of coffee and bagels with cream cheese parked in front of them. Two plastic bags of other cold drinks and snacks on the floor at their feet.

"Speedle wise, you mean?"

The detective nodded and sipped his coffee.

"He's gone," Danny said. "Long gone. When I took Carmen to the apartment to get herself cleaned up and what not, everything of his was cleaned out. All his clothes, personal effects. The whole nine."

"He left her?" Flack shook his head in utter disgust. "After she gets into a car wreck and loses their baby? What a fucking asshole."

"Guess he isn't like me or you. We wouldn't bail on Sam or Erica if something happened to them. But with all due respect to Carmen, she should have told him she was pregnant. That just makes no sense to me why she didn't break the news to him. Her fiance. The father of the baby. Do you get that?"

"No," Flack admitted. "But she must have had her reasons. We heard her arguing with him. She said she was scared. She must have had something to be scared about. Sounds to me, from what we heard from him during all that, that he wasn't too sold on the idea of having kids."

"Neither am I, but I wouldn't be pissed off if it happened. And neither would have Speed been. She handled that bad, Flack. You know she did."

"Not my place to judge, Danny," the detective said and bit into the cinnamon and raisin bagel. "He's still a fucking prick regardless for taking off at a time like this. And a goddamn pussy for not sucking it up and dealing with it."

"Man lost his baby, Flack. A baby he never got a chance to even find out about. Would you be happy if Sam kept something like that from you and put herself in the position to lose it?"

"Carmen didn't know you guys were going to get into an accident," Flack said. "It was just that. An accident."

"That point aside, answer my question."

Flack sighed. "I'd be pissed. No doubt about it. But Sam wouldn't lie to me or keep something like that from me."

"My point exactly. She shouldn't have lied to him and you can't really blame him for being pissed."

"Doesn't give him an excuse to take off on the woman he was suppose to marry, Messer."

"You're right," Danny agreed. "It doesn't. But in a way you can see why he was as pissed as he was."

"So he just handed his badge to Mac or what?" Flack asked.

"All Mac told me when he called to let me know that Speed was gone was that he had tried talking him out of leaving and Speed coughed up his shield and gun anyway. And he told me not to tell you or Sam because he didn't want anything taking away from Kieran's birth. And he's right. Regardless of anything., nothing is more important than your boy."

"Does always seem like Carmen's got this massive drama in her life that upstages everything else," Flack sighed. "Sam didn't need that happening. Something her best friend is going through taking away from the baby. Seems like anything Sam does gets pissed on by what's going on in Devine's life."

"Sam did got into labour after the accident," Danny pointed out.

"Oh that's rich, Messer. What was I suppose to do? Tell her to clamp her legs together and hold the baby in for another week or two so Carmen could have yet another moment at center stage?"

"Of course not. Which is why Mac didn't want the two of you catching wind of this for awhile."

"So you just had to be so gracious and come here and tell me about it," Flack snorted.

"Look, I just thought you should know what's what. I wasn't coming here to disrespect you, Sam or the baby. And I know that you've always been around to help everyone through all their shit. Trust me, if anyone deserves a moment in the sun it's you. But Speed left something at the apartment for you."

Flack frowned. "Why me?"

"Beats me," Danny shrugged. "Like I said, we went in there and everything of his was gone. The only thing connected to him was this…." standing up, he reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out a folded envelope. He held it out to his best friend. Flack's name written on it bold, black letters.

"What is it?" the detective asked. "Death threats? Anthrax? Mail bomb even?"

"Don't be so dramatic," Danny responded and sat back down.

"He wished my kid dead," Flack said. "Why should I even accept this? I should be hunting him down and shoving it up his ass."

"Because you don't hold grudges," Danny told him. "Because you know that he didn't mean a word he was saying. That the guy was just hurt and heartbroken and pissed off."

"Doesn't make it any better," Flack grumbled, tearing open the envelope. He reached inside and pulled out the neatly folded, hand written letter.

"He's leaving you love letters now?" Danny asked. "I'm jealous. I thought I was the only one you were seeing behind Sam's back."

"You wish, Mess," Flack replied and unfolded the letter.

"What's it say?" the CSI asked.

"If you'd be quiet and let me read it I'd be able to tell you."

"I forgot," Danny said, holding his hand up in self defence. "You can't do more than one thing at once. Chew gum while walking down the street and you're liable to trip over your own feet."

"Screw you," Flack said, and concentrated on the letter in his hands.

Danny gave his best friend a few minutes to read, and digest, everything that was on that paper in his hands. It wasn't until Flack sighed heavily, than took a sip of his coffee and refolded the letter and put it back in the envelope that he spoke. "So?" he asked.

"Speedle apologized for what he said about the baby," Flack replied. "Said he didn't mean it. That he was just hurt and what not and said things out of his ass. Which, trust me, I am a pro at myself. Than he wanted me to keep an eye on Carmen. Let her stay with Sam and I for a while until she was well enough to be alone and take care of herself."

"Gives Sam someone to have around when you're at work," Danny reasoned.

"I can't be looking after Carmen and mending her broken heart, Messer. I've got a wife and a new baby to worry about. It's not that I don't want to help out, it's just that I've got my own life to deal with and I don't need to be worried about someone else and trying to solve her problems."

"She'll make a speedier recovery if she is with you guys," Danny said. "You and Sam are probably the only ones she'd agree to stay with anyway."

Flack sighed. "I'm not a therapist. I can't even keep my own shit together most days."

"So you just going to turn her away? Let her fend for herself?"

"Of course not," Flack said. "I just…I can't devote myself to Carmen."

"No one expects you, too. What else did Speed say?"

"It says he's going back to Miami. And to not contact him. To make sure Carmen doesn't contact him especially. And he says that he's left six months of rent cheques with the super so she doesn't have to worry about paying for the place for a while."

"Fairly decent of him," Danny said.

"Yeah. Nothing screams decent guy like bailing on your fiancee that just got into an accident, lost your baby but still coughing up the cash for her to live," Flack said sarcastically. "You love someone you don't do crap like that," he told his best friend. "You just don't. For better or for worse, Danny. Not take off when the shit hit's the fan."

"Guess we all can't be perfect like you," Danny shot back.

"Oh fuck you, Messer. I'm not saying I'm perfect. I'm far from it. But you don't take off and leave someone high and dry after they've just been through all of that. You can't tell me you'd take off on Erica if the shoe was on your foot."

"Shoe isn't on my foot, though."

"Okay. Let me put it another way. You wouldn't bail on Monroe if the shoe was on the other foot."

Danny smirked. "That's dirty pool, Flack and you know it."

"You talk to her yet?"

"How'd we go from talking about Speed and Carmen to talking about me and Lindsay?"

"Just a question, Danny. You wouldn't have anything to feel guilty about if you weren't practically married to one girl and having a thing with your ex."

The other man snorted. "We are not having a thing," he argued.

"Gee, I'm sorry," Flack said. "Where I come, phone sex is still like having an affair."

"You're a bastard sometimes," Danny told his best friend. "Love ya, but you're a real bastard."

"Shit or get off the pot, Mess. That's all I'm going to say on that subject."

"What are you going to do about that letter?" Danny asked. "About Carmen?"

"Guess I'm going to have another woman to put up with. I'm not happy about. But I can't fuck her over even more. Speedle's done enough in that department. You know. I would have loved to get my hands on that guy before he left. Not just what he did to Carmen and what he said. You know him and Sam almost had a thing?"

"Get outta here. When?"

"Way back after he first got together with Carmen. They hadn't been together very long. That day Sam got served with those papers from Zack's attorney before the sonofabitch met his untimely yet welcome demise in prison."

"So what? They almost get it on or what?"

"They shared a moment. Whatever the hell that means," Flack snorted. "They didn't exactly do anything. They never even got an opportunity to. She just told me that there'd be this moment."

"Think she would have?" Danny asked.

Flack shrugged and ran his hands along his coffee cup. "I like to convince myself she wouldn't."

"Well for what it's worth, I don't think she would have. She was nuts about you right from the start. She wouldn't have had a thing with him even if the temptation was there."

Flack just nodded. "I cheated on her," he confessed.

Danny's eyes widened. "What? When?"

"Just after we got together. Couple of months into it. Before I really came to grips with how I felt about her and what I wanted out of us. I was working late one night and went out to have a drink afterwards and got a little too tipsy and ended up cheating on her. Just the one time. The girl meant nothing to me."

"Just some random girl you picked up?"

Flack shook his head.

"Someone I know?" Danny asked.

He nodded.

"Someone we work with?"

"No. Absolutely not. I'd never do that. Have a thing with someone Sam would have to see on a daily basis. I never should have done it in the first place. But like I said, I was a little drunk and unsure of my future with Sam, a little scared about all the things I was feeling so soon for her and things just happened."

"Was it Devon?" Danny asked.

Flack sighed.

"You weak bastard," Danny said. "You just couldn't stay away from her, could you."

"It was one time, Mess. Before Sam got pregnant with Kieran and we even talked about getting married and forever. And I'm not going to do it ever again. She's my wife now. The mother of my son. I'd never hurt her like that."

"Devon wasn't really in the precinct that day asking you for legal advice, was she," it was more a statement than a question.

"She was there because she was lonely. She wanted me to fill that space for her. Be her boy toy. I told her to take a hike. That it was a slip up I'd made and I wasn't in the mood for another one. I love Sam. I'm not going to have an affair."

"Sam know?" Danny asked.

Flack nodded. "I admitted it to her the night after I did it. I mean, she understood because she wasn't entirely sure how serious she was about me yet. What scares me now is that she doesn't trust me. She says she does. But I don't know."

"You were able to be honest with her. That shows she can trust you right there. And if you swear you aren't going to do it again…"

"I'm not. Ever. That part of me is gone. I just want to be a good husband and a good father. That's all I want. Spend the rest of my life with one woman. I fucked up and she forgave me."

"So than it's all water under the bridge, right? You two moved on. Got engaged, got pregnant. Now you're married and have a baby. All that other shit is behind you. Trust me, Flack. She would not have married you if she didn't love you or trust you."

"I know," the detective said with a sigh. "I don't even know why it's on my mind. I think just having Kieran here has been making me go through things in my mind. Life changes I need I know to make still to be good for him and Sam. Stuff like that."

"You know what I think?" Danny asked. "I think it took a big man to come clean to your girlfriend. And an even bigger man to admit he fucked up and feel remorse about it. That's the past. All you need to concern yourself with now, is Sam and that baby. You're a daddy now, Flack. I mean, is that nuts or what?"

He gave a small laugh and nodded. "It's pretty crazy, alright."

"You're going to do good by your boy," Danny assured him. "You already are by admitting all of this. You love his mother. Unconditionally. And he's going to see that and respect you for that."

"I hope so," he sighed.

"I know so," Danny said confidently. "I respect you for that. And you're my best friend and I love you like a brother and I'm proud of you for everything you've achieved."

Flack nodded in appreciation. "You hitting on me, Messer?" he asked with a laugh. "I mean, I'm flattered and all that…"

"Don't flatter yourself, Flack. You're not even my type anyway."

The two men laughed and lapsed into a comfortable silence.

"Thanks, Danny," Flack said after several minutes. "For being here. Listening to all of this."

"Hey," the other man said. "What are friends for, right? You'd do the same thing for me. I know you would. And you've done a lot for me I've never thanked you for."

"Don't worry about it," Flack said, waving it off. "I do it because I want to."

"I know. But now, after what's gone down, it's time to let someone be there for you. Not easy for you, I know."

"I'm just not that type of guy," Flack reasoned.

"I know. And I also know, that instead of sitting down here and worrying about stuff in the past, you should be upstairs spending all the time you can with your wife and your boy. 'Cause they're your life now. The only two things in the world that should matter to you. So you wanna head back up? Show me some of your mad daddy skills?"

Flack smiled and nodded.

"With them is the only place I want to be," he said.

Thanks to everyone who is reading and reviewing! I appreciate each and everyone one of you! Even the lurkers! Please R and R. It means the world to me and let's me know you guys like my stuff!

Special thanks to:

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