DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN CSI:NY OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS. I DO HOWEVER OWN SAMANTHA FLACK AND BABY KIERAN

A/N: POSTINGS WILL SLOW DOWN SOON AGAIN FOLKS. AS THE FAMILY MEMBERS WHO DON'T UNDERSTAND THE WHOLE WRITING THING AND GET ON ME ABOUT IT WILL BE HOME FROM VACATION. I HOPE YOU ALL CONTINUE TO STICK WITH ME! AND THANKS FOR ALL THE SUPPORT LAST CHAPTER. I WAS UNSURE ABOUT WRITING THE DREAM PART AND I AM SO GLAD YOU ALL LOVED IT! THANKS, BEG 75

Homeward Bound

"I've seen a sunset that would make you cry
And colors of a rainbow reaching 'cross the sky
The moon in all its phases,
but your love amazes me

Don't you ever doubt this love of mine
You're the only one for me
You give me hope, you give reason
You give me something to believe in
Forever faithfully,
your love amazes me

I've prayed for miracles that never came
I got down on my knees in the pouring rain
But only you could save me
Your love amazes me."
-Your Love Amazes Me, John Berry

Sam couldn't wait to get home.

Fourteen days in the hospital had felt like fourteen years. Under normal circumstances, she would have been home in less than two. But like anything that seemed to happen in their lives, Kieran had not arrived under, or since faced, normal circumstances. For two days his lung infection seemed to improve and than he woke up in the middle of the night gasping for breath and coughing and sputtering foul, scary looking greenish black phlegm. It had terrified both of his parents and had them parked by his bedside for nearly a solid two days in the Neonatal ICU while he received heavy doses of antibiotics and was kept on a breathing tube until his scared, sick lungs were able to properly draw breath on their own.

It had been a sleepless, frightening time. Each time the EKG machine beeped or made a loud noise they'd bolt upright in their seats and become overwhelmed by the paranoia that their little boy wasn't going to make it. That something had gone horribly wrong during his birth and there was nothing that could be done to fix it. Meconium, the doctor had said upon looking at further chest x-rays. It wasn't amniotic fluid after all that the baby had swallowed.

Flack had lost it on the reserved, bespectacled doctor with the snow white hair and the gentle English accent. He hadn't slept in two days and was just about ready to go insane if he sat in that hospital any longer. He didn't understand how it could be me conium when he was the person who had changed that God awful shit the day after his son's birth.

"Well sometimes, Mr Flack, they have a smaller movement at the time of birth and swallow it and this is the result."

"The result, huh?" he'd been two seconds away from grabbing that cold, unfeeling doctor and tossing him against a wall. "Than I guess you better fucking fix it!"

To add insult to injury, when Kieran had taken ill, Sam had been discharged from her private room and moved to what was known as a bunk room across the hall from the NICU. Bunk room? Flack had nearly keeled over with laughter at that one. It was nothing more than a goddamn jail cell. No windows so she could see sunlight or breathe fresh air. Nothing more than a twin bed done up in standard hospital sheets and pushed up against the wall to make room for a rickety metal framed chair and a night stand with a lamp on it. There was barely any room to turn around and scratch your ass if you wanted to. And a bathroom with nothing more than a shower stall and a toilet two doors down that she had to share with five other bunk rooms.

And to make matters worse, the mother, and only the mother, was allowed to stay in what was essentially no better than a jail cell. Hell, even jail cells had their own sink and toilet and maybe even a window. No visitors allowed in the bunk room and no dads having over night visits. Over night visits? Who the hell was thinking about shit like that when your kid was hooked up to a breathing machine ten feet across the hall? And dads weren't allowed to just hang around all night in the nursery. So while his wife bawled her eyes out from post-partum blues, loneliness and sheer fright and their son was under medical supervision in the NICU, Flack went home and spent the entire night tossing and turning and staring at the clock until seven thirty in the morning hit and he could keep up and get dressed and head back to be with his family again. Sometimes he spent his nights in the glider chair next to the empty crib, looking at all the things they'd purchased for their son and wondered when in the hell, if ever, their baby was going to come home.

Sam could be waiting for him at the elevators on the third floor at exactly five to eight each morning. Still in her pyjamas and slippers and her house coat and her hair pulled into a messy ponytail. Looking weary and depressed and lost. And the minute he stepped off that elevator she was throwing herself at him and bawling. Begging and pleading with him to take her home. To get her out of there. She couldn't stay there one more minute. And he'd hold her, and stroke her hair and assure her that it was going to be alright. She needed to be there for their son. That Kieran needed his mother and her touch. And that before she knew it, he'd be coming home. For good.

Although there were times it felt as if it was never going to happen.

Sinclair had been good about the whole thing when Flack said he needed to take some personal leave. He didn't care if it was unpaid or if it was too late to be borrowing from his vacation hours. All he cared about was being there for his wife and his son. And Sinclair had sat there behind his desk, patiently and intently listening to Flack ramble on about everything that was going wrong in his life and why the hell was this happening to him? The Chief never said a damn word, and when it all became to much for Flack to bear, he didn't care if he looked like a wimp in front of the big brass and he broke down under the whole weight and stress of the situation.

It had shocked him however when Sinclair had quietly got out of his chair and stood at the side of his chair and laid a hand on his shoulder and told him that everything was going to be okay. And even offered him a box of tissue. And told the detective Sargent to take as much time as he needed. Paid. And that his two weeks vacation didn't being until he, and his wife, brought that little baby home.

And now that day had finally, blessedly arrived.

Kieran had been breathing fine on his own and off antibiotics for a day and a half. The doctors were leaving him on the IV for low blood sugar and had changed it to a portable get up that was carried around in a small blue duffel bag. A home care nurse would check on him twice a day. And would also make sure that Sam's moods were stable and she wasn't in danger of hurting herself or the baby. Flack didn't think twice about her having a depression problem. She just wanted to go home. And once she got there, he was sure that the black cloud she'd seemed to be under would lift and she'd be back to her normal self.

In fact, as she stood, in her boots and winter coat beside the now empty incubator in the NICU, watching as Flack buckled their son into a his carry/car seat, she was practically bouncing on her heels in anticipation.

"Getting a little excited there, Freckles?" he asked, snapping the shoulder harnesses in place and testing the tightness by placing two fingers in between them and the baby.

She nodded and beamed. Normally she would have been asking him to not call her that because it drove her insane, but this afternoon, nothing was going to ruin her good mood. Even the slight tenderness that still lingered from her ordeal two weeks ago.

"Did you pick up his registration and everything?" she asked. "I don't want to forget anything because I don't want to be coming back here. Ever." She smiled sheepishly at the nurse lingering in the wings waiting to check the adequacy of the car seat. "No offence," she said.

The young woman waved it off.

"I already picked it up this morning and mailed it off. I told you that, babe."

"And I am just checking to make sure. He's got everything? All his sleepers that we brought from home? The pictures that we taped to the outside of his incubator? What about his Cookie Monster? Did you get him?"

"Sammie…relax. I've got everything. I promise. I even got something extra special for him."

Reaching into his jacket pocket, Flack pulled out a small navy blue wool cap with NYPD written across the front of it in white letters.

"Check this out," he said, and carefully and tenderly slipped the hat over his son's dark hair. "Pretty cool, huh? I had no idea the uniform place sold this kind of stuff. One of my guys told me to go there and get one. I know you don't like the kid in hats, but it's cold out and it'll keep his ears warm."

"I guess it looks kinda cute," Sam said.

"I'm not done yet," Flack told her as he stood up and stepped aside to let the nurse inspect the car seat. He stuck his hand into his other pocket and pulled out a matching hat. A much bigger one that he slipped onto his own head. "What'cha think? Is it me?"

Her eyes widened. "I think you're mental," she said. "Although there is something dangerously sexy about the look. All unshaven and dark and broody. Like you're on your way to rob a bank or something."

"I got one for you, too," he said, fishing a third cap out of his pocket.

"I am so not wearing a hat," she declared.

"Come on. It'll be cute," Flack told her, unfolded the hat and taking two short strides until he was standing in front of her. He slipped the cap onto her head and gently pulled her hair out that caught up underneath it and took her face in his hands and kissed her softly. "There. You're adorable. We look like the poster family for the NYPD."

"I don't know about you, but I look stupid," she complained. "I can't wear hats. You know that."

"What? You look cute in a hat. Remember that time we went to that Mets and Cardinals game and you took my hat and put it on. I think you looked hot in it. Even made you wear it later when we got home. Remember?"

"You have got some sick fetishes," Sam declared. "Are you sure you have everything, Donnie?"

"Honey, for the fifteenth time in an hour, yes, I am sure I have everything. No you just go and sit your ass in that wheelchair over there so the nurse can push you downstairs while I carry Kieran once he's ready to go."

"I don't see why I can't just walk down," she huffed.

"Because from the waist down you're being held together by stitches and I really don't want any of those stitches popping. Okay? Now humour me and go and sit."

"But I just…"

He kissed her once more. "Sit," he demanded. Than smiled. "Please."

"You are so lucky you tossed that in at the end there, mister," she said, and retreated to the waiting wheelchair.

"We're already to go," the nurse announced, finishing with Kieran and than standing up and moving over to a small workstation and grabbing a thick black binder. "He's al buckled in properly. I'll check this base when we get downstairs. Now I just need to check one of your wrists bands to the one I took off of Kieran's ankle later and than you can sign him out and be on your way."

"Thank God!" Sam exclaimed, than yawned noisily. "Because I so need a nap. In my own bed."

"And what makes you think you're going to nap?" Flack asked, as he moved over to where the nurse was to complete all the necessary paper work to finally spring their kid loose. "You've got a newborn to take care of. There's none of this napping whenever you feel like it like you used to do when you were pregnant. We've got the goods now to show for all our hard work and stress."

"And he's got a father who is more than capable of taking care of him while his mommy catches a couple of hours sleep," Sam pointed out.

Flack glanced over his shoulder and grinned at her. "Smart ass," he said.

She smiled and winked at him and sighed happily.

It was going to be good to be home.

The sun was high and bright in the sky but the temperatures were well below freezing. The snow was inches thick and crunched noisily under your feet. Yet to Samantha and Flack, no day could possibly be more perfect and beautiful. He had went ahead and moved from the short stay unit to the front entrance of the hospital while Sam waited with the nurse and the baby already fast asleep in his car seat. Wrapped snugly and warmly in a blue polar fleece bunting bag that fit over the seat itself and left just his face and head showing.

The nurse quickly checked the base attached securely in the middle of the back seat and gave a nod of approval before Flack took the carrier and clipped it into the base and than helped Sam up into the SUV and into the seat behind empty passenger seat. Taking the time to buckled her in just as lovingly and tenderly as he had with their baby.

They gave the nurse a final farewell and thanked her for all of her help and the care that Kieran had been shown during his rather long, unfortunate stay and that was that. That part of their lives were behind them and new part was set to begin.

"You know what this reminds me of?" Flack asked, as he clipped on his own seat belt and put the SUV into drive. "That show you made me watch all the time. The one that follows the parents and their newborns for forty-eight hours. The one with all the cameras following them around. And the infa-red ones that they put in the bedroom to watch these people go crazy in the middle of the night."

"Bringing Home Baby," Sam said in response.

"I am so glad there's no cameras in our apartment so the whole world can see what a monumental fuck up I am as a father."

"I wish you wouldn't put yourself down like that," she said. "You've been amazing since Kieran was born. I would have gone completely mental if it wasn't for you. You didn't even get to celebrate your birthday because we were stuck in here."

"We only missed it by two days. No big deal. You want we can order in some take out tonight, I can grab one of them ice cream cakes that you're in love with from the grocery story."

"It's your birthday. Not mine."

"Does it look like I care, babe? I already got the best early birthday present ever when Kieran was born. It's not going to damage me not to have celebrated my thirty-first."

"But I never got you anything," she argued. "Not even a card."

"Sammie, seriously. You gave me everything. Proof of that is sleeping in that car seat right alongside of you."

She smiled.

"You happy to be going home, babe?" he asked, looking at her through the rear view mirror.

"I am. Ecstatically happy. But I'm so tired. I hope Carmen doesn't have a lot of people over to see us. Because I don't know how sociable I'm going to be."

"I think it's just her, Danny, Adam and Gus. Everyone else is working as far as I know. But if you don't want to hang around and talk or whatever, just leave the baby with me and all of them and have a nap. No one is going to hold it against you for needing to sleep."

"I know. And our bed is calling to me. And my pillow. Actually your pillow because it's always been more comfy than mine and I love the smell on it. I always sleep with it when you're on nights, you know."

"I know. Because I every time I lie down when I get home all I smell is your shampoo. And strawberry scented shampoo isn't really my thing."

"Than give me back my favourite shirt of yours and I will give you back your pillow."

"I wore it yesterday. It needs to be washed."

"I want the smell on it!" she argued. "The smell is the whole reason I want it. So I feel close to you."

"How about I wash it and than spray some cologne on it?"

"It's not the same thing. Would you wash it and than wear it a bit and than give it back to me?"

"You're kidding me, right?"

"It gets your smell back on there and makes it all cozy for me again," she reasoned.

He sighed. "The things I don't do for you, woman."

"It's just the way I like it," she said. Than giggled.

"What's so funny?" Flack asked.

"It's Kieran. He's got his lips pursed and their moving like he's sucking on a bottle. He must be dreaming about eating. Or maybe it's some kind of reflex babies have. Whatever it is, it's funny. It's making his nose move like he's a rabbit."

Flack smiled. "He's beautiful, Sammie. Everything about him. You notice he's got your nose and your freckles? And your long eyelashes?"

"Yeah," she said, running fingertip down her son's nose. "But he looks just like you, Donnie."

"He's even got my big feet and hands. See the size of them for a baby? You know what they say about a guy with big feet and hands?"

"I do. And in your case it may be true, but I can't believe you'd say something like that about our son."

"Get your mind out of the gutter. I was thinking more along the lines that it means we have big brains."

Sam laughed. The sudden noise causing the baby to startle, but not awaken. She laid her hand on his stomach and rubbed softly through the layers of blankets and clothes. "That is so not what you were thinking and you know it," she told her husband.

"Hey, I'm being good, alright? Guess I figure there's how much longer until I can get actually get some action from you?"

"I have to go for an exam next week to check on all my stitches. But if I keep taking the sitz baths and my antibiotics to cut down on the chances of infections, than you're looking at maybe another four weeks."

"What? Another four weeks? That's six weeks, babe! I thought you told me that it was a month altogether."

"Another four weeks, Don. The doctor said six weeks and no sooner. And honestly, I love you and I am unbelievably attracted to you, but that is the last thing on my mind. And it's probably going to be the last thing on my mind for awhile. So I don't know. You either live with it or I buy you a membership at some rub and tug."

"What? Are you crazy? I'm not going into a place like that. That's just plain gross. Nothing is stopping you from doing that kind of thing for me."

"I am telling you right now, if you think I'm going to have time to think about stuff like that, you're going to be spending a lot of time alone. In the bathroom. Getting reacquainted with yourself. Okay? Because the sheer thought of anything sexual makes me sick my stomach."

"Gee…thanks."

"It's nothing against you, babe. But after everything's that gone down…it's just not high on my list of priorities. I'm not saying this to hurt you and you know it."

"You're going to owe me big time when you're healed up and feeling better," he informed her. "You're lucky I love you. Six weeks? I did not sign up for this."

"You're lucky I know you're joking."

"Whose says I'm joking?" he asked, glancing into the back seat as they stopped at a red light and giving her a cheeky grin.

"Because I know you. Better than you know yourself half the time. And I know that that isn't the be all and end all of your existence," she said, and although unable to lean forward far enough to kiss him as badly as she wanted to, she laid her fingertips over her lips and than placed them over his.

He smiled and reached into the back seat to run a hand over her hair and the side of her face before turning his eyes back to the road. "He's okay?" Flack asked.

"What would have happened to him in five minutes? He's fast asleep and his little lips are going a mile a minute while he dreams about food. He is definitely your son. But this IV thing, it scares me."

"Why?"

"I'm afraid I'm going to accidentally rip it out of his foot."

"It's in there pretty good, Sam and it's taped up nice and tight. I don't think it's going anywhere. That nurse is coming at five so she'll take a look at it and make sure everything's okay."

"She's coming to see if I'm crazy. That's why she's coming. To see if I'm Looney-Tunes."

Flack frowned. "That is not why she's coming. She's coming to check on the baby."

"And to see if I'm Looney-Tunes. Because the stupid nurses told social services I was unstable. And now we have to have child protective services come and visit us. Can you believe that? I'm not crazy, Donnie. I was never crazy. I was just sad because my baby was sick and I wanted to come home."

"You don't have to defend yourself to me, Sammie," he said. "Those last two weeks were sheer hell and that goddamn room was enough to drive anyone nuts. And trust me, I'm none too impressed that CPS are coming to my place."

"What are they going to do? What are they going to look for? We're good people. We're not going to hurt our baby. I just don't get it. Just because I was sad over Kieran being sick and feeling lonely and a bit depressed because I was separated from you doesn't mean I'm a psycho."

"And when's this stupid bitch coming?"

"Tomorrow. That's all they said. What do I do? Put on a house dress and do my hair all up and put make up own and makes beverages and snacks and do my best June Cleaver impersonation?"

"June Cleaver? Nah…personally, to me, Mrs Brady was the bigger hottie."

"You are so disturbed," Sam laughed. "But seriously, babe? How much of a good impression do I have to make? Offer food or drinks? Be all Mary Sunshine?"

"You just be you. And me, well all just be me."

"Oh God," she groaned. "In that case, do you think maybe you could be out of the house during the visit? Because I know you and you can be downright nasty with people."

"I promise you that I will be on my best behaviour. And them showing up like that, just unannounced at whatever time? That's to hopefully catch us at a crappy moment. Like when we haven't slept all night and the kid's crying like a maniac and we're ready to climb the walls. So just be yourself, Sammie. You've got nothing to hide. You love Kieran and you're great with him. You've been fine since we found out we were going home today. So just relax and smile and that's about it."

"And you?"

"Me? I'll just put on the Flack charm. Flash her my baby blues, smile and show off my dimples…"

"Flirt, you mean."

"Little flirting in this circumstance could go along way."

"Or net you a date."

"I wonder if she's cute."

"She's probably old and bitchy. And who says it's a girl? Maybe it's a guy."

"Yeah…I wonder if he's cute."

She leaned forward in her seat to lightly yank at a piece of hair poking out of the bottom of his hat. "You're seriously disturbed! Besides, even if it is a guy, imagine how jealous Danny would be."

"Maybe it should have been Danny we moved in with us. That why when you're shutting me down all the time I'd have someone to go and cuddle up to and relieve my suffering."

Sam gagged. "I can't believe you'd even say that! That's so gross."

"And if you and Carmen ever wanted to cuddle up…well than I'd want pictures."

She snorted and shook her head.

They lapsed into a comfortable silence. Flack's eyes on the snow covered, slick roads in front of them and Sam's on their son sleeping so peacefully next to her. His lips and nose had stopped twitching and his mouth was now curved into a gentle, angelic smile.

"I love you," she announced, breaking the silence in the car.

No answer came from the front seat.

She frowned. "Donnie?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you hear me?"

"I heard you tell the baby you love him."

"I wasn't talking to, Kieran. I was talking to you," she said.

"Well in that case, I love you, too."

"I missed you, you know. At night. Being stuck in there. I really missed you and I…" her voice broke off.

Flack glanced through the rear view mirror and saw the tears that welled in her eyes. "Sammie," he said gently. "It's okay, you know. To be feeling like this. Doesn't mean there's something wrong with you, baby. You've been through a lot. No one is expecting you to be upbeat and happy all the time. You know that right? That it's okay to feel sad once in a while?"

She nodded.

"I don't judge you or think anything less of you because you're like this. I want you to know that. And if you need me, to talk or just someone to hold you or whatever, that's what I'm here for."

She cleared her throat and wiped at stray tears with the sleeve of her coat. "I just want to go home," she said. "Our home."

"That's where we're going, babe," he promised her. "All three of us. Our tiny little family."

She smiled.

It was the first time the word family ever meant something to her.

Gus had decorated the door of the apartment with white and blue balloons and a silver foil sign that stretched the width of the wood and had IT'S A BOY written across it in baby blue lettering. Below it was the outline of a stork with all of Kieran's information written on it. Date and time of birth, weight and length, parents names and place of birth. Sam couldn't help but offer a laugh when she saw that Gus had written: Living room floor. The memory was as fresh as if it had just happened yesterday. She could still easily recall how the contractions had felt and how frightened she was and how the pain had been worse than she ever expected it to be. And now that man standing beside her, the baby carrier on one arm and the bag that held the portable IV in his other hand, used his foot to knock on the door and than toed off his shoes, had managed to keep her calm and composed and had helped her through it.

It seemed as if it was all he did. Helped her through things. The craziness and suffering that accompanied the pregnancy from day one. And before that the insanity that was Zack. All the times she'd kept things from him that he'd never lost it and instead listened to her explanations and accepted her reasons. Never judged her, always forgave her. Even if she really didn't deserve it. And always loved her no matter what. It was in his eyes when he looked at her. On his face when he smiled at her. In the simplest of touches.

And she couldn't imagine ever not having those looks or smiles or touches in her life.

Gus threw open the door with a flourish and greeted them both with hugs and kissed and congratulations before taking the two small bags from Samantha's hands and holding the door open with her hip and allowing them to pass through the door and into the warm apartment.

"How ya feeling, mommy?" she asked Sam, setting the bags on the ground and giving her sister in law a hug. Even though she and Adam weren't married yet, she still considered Sam family.

"Okay," the tiny brunette replied. "Tired. Hungry."

"Well I've made some food for everybody. Nothing major. Just some salads and some lasagna. I figured the two of you would be starving. And lets face it, when is Flack not hungry?"

"I'm a growing boy," he reasoned, placing the carrier and the IV bag on the floor and slipping out of his jacket and hanging it in the hall closet.

"Nice hats," Gus commented, as Flack took his off and shoved it in the pocket of his coat before turning to Sam and motioning for her to hand him he coat.

"It was Donnie's idea," Sam said, yanking off the knit cap and stuffing it into the pocket of her coat before shrugging out of it and passing it over. "He thought it would be cute if we all matched."

"Ah, he's just a proud daddy and husband," Gus declared. "And wants everyone to notice it. How's he doing?" she asked, nodding down at the baby. Slowly stirring from his nap, making tiny squeaking noises and giving off wide, silent yawns. "What a life, huh?" she giggled. "You eat, you sleep, eat some more. Someone changes your ass and carries you around."

"And that's just Sam," Flack commented dryly as he crouched down to unearth and unbuckle his son.

"Don't be such a meanie," she said and kicked him in the ass.

Gus already had her arms out for the baby before Flack even got all the blankets and bunting bag off of him. The woman who vowed to never had kids, couldn't get enough of her nephew. The way she looked at it, babies were great. As long as they were someone else's and you could give them back after a visit.

Flack stood up slowly and carefully with the baby in his arms and passed him over to Gus' waiting embrace. Than hooked the strap of the IV bag around two of her fingers. "He comes with an extra ten pounds," he said. "Sorry."

"He still has to be hooked up to this stupid thing?" Gus grumbled, as she carried the baby through the kitchen.

"His sugar is still low," Flack told her, as he and Sam followed her and he dropped his keys and cell phone on the microwave. "Shockingly low, almost. So it's better it stays in despite it being a major pain in the ass. Anyone call?"

"Just some nurse confirming the appointment this afternoon," Gus told him. "Other than that, no one. Look what I have guys!" she called to Carmen, Danny and Adam gathered around the dining room table. "A baby! A really, really, really cute baby!"

"Must not be Flack's than," Danny quipped, getting to his feet slowly, still suffering from some after affects of the crash.

"Very funny, Mess," the detective said. "Kid's all me and you all know it."

"Well I feel sorry for him, than," Danny teased, and gave his best friend a one arm embrace. "Good to be home, huh? But you never thought when this day would get here. How's my godson doing?"

"He's getting there," Flack said with a sigh. "Still a couple of issues that need to get under control. The sugar thing and now his hearing. It's one thing after another but somehow, we're staying sane through it all."

"What's wrong with his hearing?" Gus asked, as they all moved into the living room and took up residence on the couch and love seat

"He failed his hearing test," Sam replied, helping herself to a handful of salt and vinegar chips that someone had set out in a bowl on the coffee table. "Well it's not that he failed the whole thing. His left ear is fine. He failed in his right and no one can seem to tell us why. So we have to take him to an audiologist in mid-town next week and to his new pedeatrician in three days. For a check up."

"No rest for the weary," Danny sat, and standing alongside of the love seat she was sitting on, hugged her warmly with his good arm. "How ya feeling, Brooklyn?" he asked, pecking her cheek.

"Tired," she admitted. "He's eating every two to three hours. Can you believe that? I can't keep up. Thank God he can take the breast milk from a bottle too, or I'd be going nuts. I just don't have any expressed and made up. So that is first on my To Do list after his next feeding."

"First thing is first though," Flack said, and left the living room and headed into the kitchen. Returning a minute later with a huge glass of milk he held out to her.

"God I love you," she declared, taking the milk from him and sipping it. "Can you wait on me hand in foot the entire two weeks? Bring me drinks and snacks and rub my feet when they get sore? Make me dinner and do all the house cleaning?"

"Sure," he said and plopped down beside her and laid his arm across her shoulders. "I'll add Super Husband along with Super Cop on the list of credentials on my resume. You know, when I'm out looking for a second job to take care of you two."

"More like a second job to keep you out of the house when she starts driving you nuts," Danny said and took a seat on the arm of the love seat.

"Way to go, Messer," Flack snorted. "Let my wife in on my secret plan."

"Like I couldn't figure that out myself?" Sam snorted. "You are so easy to read and figure out, Donnie."

"Donnie.." Danny snickered. "I just love when she calls you that. Anyone else tries it and you'd be snapping and losing it on them."

"Anyone else is sharing a bed with me and didn't just give birth to my kid," Flack pointed out. "She can call me anything she wants?"

"Oh really?" Sam asked. "Like if I want to call you Donald that's okay too?"

"On occasion," he said.

"Snuggle bunny?" she tried, her hand on the back of his neck, her fingertips drifting along his hair line.

"Never."

"Junior?" she suggested.

"That's a definite sore spot and you know it. You ever call me that, and you'll be sleeping on the couch for a long, long time. Mind you, that will probably kill me more than it would kill you."

She grinned and kissed his cheek.

"You two make me sick," Danny complained. "Just had a baby and still can't keep your hands off of each other? That's not right."

"It's called love, Danny," Sam said. "And if you were experiencing it right about now…"

"Easy, easy Brooklyn."

"I don't see Erica here," Flack commented, picking up his wife's free hand and entwining his fingers with hers and laying both of their hands on his thigh. What's up with that? She didn't want to see her new cousin or what? I'm kinda pissed that she didn't bother coming to see Sam and the baby more than once. And even than she only stayed for what?" he looked at Sam. "Twenty minutes if that?"

Sam nodded and sipped her milk and watched Adam, Gus and Carmen fussing over Kieran and all of his hair and his tiny hands and feet and the denim overalls and little red turtleneck he had on.

"She's been busy with work," Danny said, his excuse sounding lame even to his own ears.

"Everyone else has been too but they make the effort," Flack told him. "And you and Carmen are still reeling from the accident and you guys still came nearly every day. Sometimes twice."

"She's not like us, Flack," Danny said.

Sam snorted. "You can say that again."

"She says she doesn't feel comfortable around all of us when we get together. 'Cause we all talk shop and get things that she doesn't. All the cop crap confuses her she says."

"When do we talk work when people who aren't involved with our work are around us?" Sam asked. "We never do that. Because she shouldn't be hearing that shit to begin with. We talk about normal every day stuff and she always rolls her eyes and bitches and moans about how simple our lives are. That we live in a tiny two bedroom apartment in lower Manhattan and we should move to where she is."

"Give me a break," Flack snorted. "You know how many jobs I'd need to pay the rent in a place like that. I'd be working twenty-four seven and never seeing my family. Seriously though, Mess. Your girl, she's got problems with us blue collar people."

"I know, Flack…I know. You tell me every day nearly. Quit busting my balls already."

"And you still stay," his best friend sighed.

"I have my reasons," Danny informed him.

"Yeah? Like what? The quarter of a million penthouse she got from her prick ex-husband and the times you get to play chauffer with the Bentley?"

"Love," Danny told him. "Love and only love."

"Which is what keeps me in an apartment in lower Manhattan," Sam said. "So next time she starts her shit, tell her I said just that."

Kieran began to fuss in Adam's arms. A look of sheer panic crossed the lab tech's face as he looked up and over at his sister for some help.

"He's not gonna hurt you, Adam," Flack assured him. "He probably needs his ass changed or something to eat."

"Which is why one of you should come and get him," Adam declared.

"Well I don't see you moving," Sam said to her husband. "So I guess you're waiting for me to get off my ass."

"Hey, you already said you didn't express anything and last time I checked, I don't have the equipment necessary to do the job myself."

Sam finished her milk in one gulp and let go of his hand and stood up. "If you'll excuse us, folks," she said as she scooped Kieran up smoothly and effortlessly and grabbed the IV bag. "Me and my little man here have a hot date in the bedroom."

"Need some help?" Danny teased. "Doesn't bother me seeing you with your top up."

"Hey!" Flack snapped. "That's my wife! Watch your mouth!"

Danny held up his hands in self defensive and dropped down into the spot Sam had vacated. Both watching as Sam, talking away to her son in a soft, soothing voice about what a good boy he was and how big he was getting already, carried him down the hall towards the bedroom.

"How's it feel?" Danny asked his best friend. "Finally being home?"

"Like I never want to leave," he replied with a smile.

Just after two in the morning. The light in the ensuite bathroom was flicked on and the door slightly open so they could see their way around the room if they needed to get up in the middle of the night. Kieran had settled down nicely at ten thirty after a warm sponge bath and after being dried off and put in a fresh diaper and a sleeper and his hair combed with a fine bristled baby brush, he'd had a larger than normal feeding and promptly fell off to sleep in his mother's arms.

Sam and Flack took the opportunity to get some rest as well. So with the baby bundled up and placed in the bassinet at the side of the bed, they climbed into bed clothes bleary eyed and yawning and both passed out as soon as their heads hit the pillows.

Kieran never woke up crying for a meal. He whimpered and fussed but never actually let out a full blown cry. And the minute those tiny sounds emanated from the side of the bed, Flack's eyes snapped open and he propped himself on his elbows and stole a glance at the bedside clock. Groaning when he saw the time. He made a move to nudge Sam awake, to tell her that the baby was up and most likely hungry, but the second he saw her there, fast asleep with her face turned towards him and a soft smile on her face, he didn't have the heart too. She had been pumping faithfully all day and there was a decent stock pile of milk in the freezer and the fridge. So he let her sleep.

"I'm coming, Kieran," he whispered, rubbing sleep out of his eyes as he swung his legs over the side of the bed and yawned noisily.

With another woman living in the house, he knew it was a bad idea if he just walked around the place in just his boxers, so he climbed out of bed and grabbed a wife beater and a the jeans he had on earlier and pulled them on.

"Daddy's here," he spoke to the baby in a soft voice, trying his best not to wake Sam. "Daddy's here, buddy…"

He lifted his son from the bassinet, almost forgetting about the IV bag in the corner of Kieran's bed and snatching it up before he went any further and yanked the thing out of his kid's foot. Kieran was tiny and could be carried along one arm, making it easier for him to open the bedroom door with the hand carrying the portable IV and to switch on the hall light as he headed for the living room. His first stop was the couch was to change the baby's wet diaper. The second was into the kitchen to toss said diaper in the trash and heat a bottle. Under warm water. Not in the microwave. Sam had warned him about the chances of the milk not heating evenly and there being hot spots that could burn the baby's mouth. And that he did not want.

So instead, after placing Kieran in the infant papa-san chair sitting on the kitchen table and buckling him in for good measure, he filled the measuring cup with tap water and heated it to a boil in the microwave and snagged a four ounce bottle from the fridge and dropped it in to the cup.

He was standing in front of the infant chair, his elbows on the table as he leaned towards his son and talked sports with him, when he heard soft footsteps coming down the hallway towards the kitchen. He thought it was Sam and was just about to give her shit for getting up and demand she go back to bed, when Carmen appeared in the doorway in her robe and jammies, yawning noisily.

"So whose he picking for the Super Bowl?" she asked, leaning against the door frame.

"We weren't wasting our time with football," Flack replied. "We were discussing the finer arts of hockey. Specifically the Rangers."

"You're pathetic," Carmen declared, and journeyed into the kitchen. "Good evening, baby boy," she greeted Kieran and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "How's Auntie's cuddle bug?"

"He slept pretty good," Flack said and went to check on the temperature of the bottle. "Fell asleep at ten thirty, just woke up now. He wasn't like that in the hospital."

"Probably sleeping better because he's at home with mommy and daddy," Carmen reasoned. She smiled at the baby than at his father as he approached the table, bottle and tea towel in hand. "He's damn cute, Donnie," she said.

"Thanks…but just for future reference, you know I love you and I ain't trying to be mean, but only Sam calls me Donnie."

"Just slipped out," Carmen said sheepishly. "Sorry."

"No big deal. It's just…" he shrugged and sat the bottle on the table and unbuckled Kieran from the seat. "It's affectionate, you know. Something personal between me and her. I don't care you if you call me Don, but the other one. I'd just rather you didn't do it."

"No problem," she said, as he settled down in the chair across from her with Kieran resting along one arm in a slightly reclined position - they were told by the doctor to sit the baby up for feedings to cut back on the chances of reflux- popped the cap off the bottle and took a quick swig of it to check the temperature.

"Oh please do not tell me you just drank breast milk," Carmen grimaced.

"I was checking to make sure it wasn't too hot. And there's nothing gross about it. It's just milk. Kieran loves it. Drinks it better than that soya formula nonsense Sam was feeding him. You know, you're lucky I put some clothes on before I came out here."

"I wouldn't call what you're wearing clothes," Carmen commented, trying to keep her eyes off of broad chest and strong arms and shoulders.

"Better than just boxers. So? What's up? Why are you up? Can't sleep?"

She nodded.

"Pain from the accident?"

"Pain," she confirmed. "But not from that."

He nodded slowly. "Pains of the heart," he sighed. "Worst damn ones of them all."

"Well you're lucky. You have Sam and the baby so you probably won't have them, God willing, for a long time."

"What's bugging you the most? Being around Sam and the baby or what Speed did?" he asked.

"A little bit of both," she admitted. "I knew being here would be hard. I just didn't expect it would be this hard."

"I warned you, Carmen. I warned you about being around the baby right after what happened. You could have gone anywhere. You could have stayed with Gus and Adam, or with Mac and Stella. You didn't have to come here. Ask me, maybe you like torturing yourself. And maybe, and I'm speaking honestly here, maybe there's a part of you that likes to bring other people down with you."

She didn't respond.

"I'm sorry about what happened," Flack said, his eyes never leaving his son's face. "Speed was a major fucking prick for doing what he did. Wish I could hunt him down and kick the shit out of him and gut the worthless piece of shit. But my main concern can't be you and your issues. I told you this before you moved your stuff in."

She sighed. "I know. But I'm here because I want to be. I want to be with you and Sam and the baby. Help you guys out."

Flack yawned noisily and propped his feet on the chair across from him. "As long as that's the only reason."

She frowned. "What's that suppose to mean?"

"So where you gonna go from here?" Flack asked, ignoring her. "You gonna stay in that apartment? I mean, I don't care how long you stay here and Sam likes you being here. But I don't you want to live with us forever. No offence. And I doubt you want to live with us forever, either."

"I don't like the idea of living there," she said. "Too many memories. But he did pay the rent for a few months and…"

"I mean after that," Flack told her. "You going to stay there."

"Probably not. The wounds are too raw."

"I can understand that. Sam and I ever split, I wouldn't stay here that's for sure."

"Like you and Sam are ever going to split," Carmen laughed.

"Well if it ever happens, it won't be my doing. She'd have to dump my ass and toss me out physically. Even than I wouldn't go down without a fight."

"That would be very un-Flack of you if you did," Carmen told him. "I don't see you ever giving up when it comes to her."

"I never would," he said, and taking the bottle from Kieran's mouth, checked how much he had consumed. After each two ounces the baby needed to be burped to avoid getting too filled up and throwing up with one huge burp at the end. The kid had drank three ounces. "Can you do me a favour, Devine?" he asked, as he laid the tea towel over his shoulder and lifted Kieran to his chest. "Can you warm up another bottle in that hot water there? In the measuring cup? Something tells me he's not going to be satisfied with just four."

"No prob," she said and got up and went to the fridge. "You know, it's really weird," she said, as she took out a bottle and dropped it in the water.

"What's that?" Flack asked, rubbing the baby's back in slow circles.

"Seeing you like this. All fatherly. I didn't expect you to be…I don't know. I guess I didn't expect you to be so damn good at it.":

"Please," he said. "I've got a lot to learn. I'm just doing my best here. Me and the little guy are learning as we go along."

"You're doing really good, Flack. I'm proud of you. And of Sam."

"She did a hell of a job," he said, grinning proudly. The baby burped successfully and he returned Kieran to his previous position for the last of his bottle. "She's going to be a great mother. I can see it. She loves him. Unconditionally. Adores him."

"And you adore her," Carmen pointed out, carrying the bottle over to him.

"She's my life," he said. "My heart. They both are."

She sighed and returned to her seat. "Think we could clone you?" she teased. "Or split you half? Or maybe Sam will share?"

He chuckled. "Only her, Carmen. There's only her. Sorry."

"Well she's damn lucky and she better hold on to you. 'Cause you're definite keeper."

"Think so?"

Carmen nodded.

"Thanks. I appreciate it. And I know Sam's your best friend and you love her. Am I right?"

"A hundred percent."

"Than do me a favour. And you can take this as me being rude and an asshole if you want, but don't flirt with me. Ever again. Maybe you don't even realize you're doing it. I don't know. Maybe you mean it, maybe you don't. But I don't appreciate it. I'm Kieran's father and I'm Sam's husband. And to you I'm Flack and your friend but that's it. Okay?"

She nodded.

"I hope you find someone, Carmen. I really do. I hope one day you find someone that you can love just as much or maybe even more than Speed. Lots of guys out there would be willing, ready and able to hook up with you in a heart beat. But I'm not one of them. I just thought I'd clear that up. In case you ever decided to try another move on me like you did that night in her when you were shit faced drunk."

"I'd never do that to Sam," she vowed. "Ever."

"Good," Flack said and stood up, slipping the fresh bottle into one of his pockets and scooping up the IV bag. "Let's keep it that way, okay? I'm going to take him to the bedroom to cuddle up with mommy."

"Flack, I never…"

"Good night," he said. "Turn everything off when you head back to bed, alright?"

"Sure," she answered meekly and watched him go.

He had been honest. To a fault.

And nothing more needed to be said.

Thanks to everyone who is reading and reviewing. I appreciate each and every one of you! Even the lurkers for just reading! But PLEASE toss some love my way folks! Thanks!

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