We're almost to the prison and my heart is pounding in anticipation when we hear the gunshots and my heart pounds faster, for a whole different reason.
And there's no conversation about it. No debate. No point in that. Dad and I just start running, running as fast as we can, until we break out of the woods and there it is, our prison. Under attack. More specifically, there's Rick, pinned to a fence by two walkers with more on their way. But Dad got here before me and so by the time I've taken the scene in he's put an arrow through one walker's head, and now Merle's charging past me and he gets another walker, and the two ones shuffling their way up from the right are mine, mine and my bow's. In a matter of seconds they're down, and I nock a new arrow and turn, but between Rick and Merle and Dad, all the other walkers close by are already down – Rick's smashing in the head of the last one now – and for the slightest second I find myself thinking how it's funny that things so easy to kill have managed to take over our world so completely, but then that's swept from my mind because the prison is under attack and I wrap my fingers through the fence and look, I look, but there's nothing going on in there, not anymore. We've gotten here at the tail end of it. I see our truck driving through the top gate, the one leading into the courtyard. I see people up there, and I can't quite tell who, but I see that one of them is wearing a cowboy hat and there's only one person that can be, and he's safe, he must be safe. And I don't see an enemy anywhere. Was there even an attack or – ?
I realize that there's something off before I realize what that something is. But then I see. And I grip the fencing so hard it cuts into my skin.
There are walkers in the field. In our field. The field we worked so hard to clear out, where our dead are buried. In the middle of the field, there's a strange white-and-orange van of some sort – the words cube van come to mind – and there are walkers in our field. The main gate's . . . gone. What, rammed through? Isn't that the only thing that makes sense?
The bastards let walkers in here.
Getting back to the courtyard, to the prison, isn't that hard. We get to the main gate, all four of us, because Rick hasn't said anything about Merle, at least not yet. Then we move in, put down a few walkers, and Glenn drives the truck down to meet us and we pile into it. Up the road, into the courtyard. Carl closes that gate behind us. Carl.
When I jump out of the truck, the first thing I notice is the body. There's a body lying in the middle of the courtyard, and I'm terrified, but then I take in the shaggy blonde hair, the prison suit, and I'm just sad. Axel.
It's kind of hard to enjoy a reunion when you've just been attacked, when there's a human corpse lying nearby. But I see Carol, who I thought was dead, and the kind of emotion I'm not good with comes up inside of me and I throw my arms around her waist and she cries and I do my best not to. When we finally let go, she moves to my dad. He puts a hand on her shoulder. I don't see what happens next because then Carl's in front of me, panting, staring at me with a strange look in his eyes.
I stand. I move to him. I mean to say I leave you alone for a couple of days . . . ? but when I open my mouth all that comes out is a frantic sort of gasp. Then I throw one arm around his neck and the other around his back. His wrap around me so tight it hurts. I'm sort of aware of his hat falling to the ground but not really, I'm mostly just aware of him and me, the way my head fits perfectly into the nook between his shoulder and his neck, how his face is in my hair, and how we're closer, physically closer, than we've ever been, but it's still not close enough for me.
Carl.
I knew I missed him. I didn't know I missed him this much. And I thought he was gone forever and now he's here, in my arms. And when we finally separate, I hold his head between my hands and we look into each other's eyes and then something very strange passes between us and I let him go. But I stay by his side. I don't want to leave his side again. Partners aren't supposed to do that.