Chapter Two

When Lily opened her eyes she was in what appeared to be the Hogwarts Hospital Wing. This was rather a surprise to her, mainly because she hadn't actually expected ever to open her eyes again. Within several moments of waking up, a great deal of things came rushing back to her all at once, and she was forced to close her eyes again and take several deep breaths while she sorted her thoughts into a comprehensible and prioritised order.

First: James. He was gone. She hadn't actually seen it happen, but she had no doubt whatsoever about it. She'd left him leave, felt the whisper of goodbye touch her heart as he brushed gently against it. He was gone, and he wasn't coming back. At the time it hadn't bothered her because she'd thought she was going with him. Now the emotion almost overwhelmed her. How could James be gone? Her James – her husband and her lover and her soul mate. It was almost incomprehensible. A world without James didn't make sense. A life without James was barely worth living.

This was too much to cope with right now, so she pushed it away, supressing her emotions in a way she hadn't even known she was capable of until now. There were many other things to deal with, things that were all very important.

Second: Harry. Was he okay? She wasn't sure why or how she was still alive, but she could only hope that Harry was too. Perhaps, against all odds, someone had succeeded in rescuing them. It seemed unlikely, even impossible, but how else could she be lying in the Hospital Wing at Hogwarts?

Third: Wormtail. He had betrayed them. She partly blamed herself for that. There was no way James would have suspected one of his best friends, but she ought to have been able to be more objective about it. She ought to have spotted the signs, which were so obvious in hindsight, but which none of them had seen at the time.

At this point she decided to open her eyes again. Fourth on her list was finding out what was going on, and she couldn't do that with her eyes closed.

She was definitely in the Hospital Wing. She hadn't been in for herself very many times while at school, but she'd come in to visit James and Sirius enough times that she could recognise it almost instantly.

Turning her head to her left, she discovered that somebody was sitting by her bed. Someone very familiar, though her contact with him had been minimal since the end of fifth year. Severus Snape.

Her automatic reaction was to be relieved that it was him sitting beside her, and not some awful Death Eater. Then she remembered that he was a Death Eater, and began to panic. She sat up very quickly, startling him.

'Where's Harry?' she demanded, 'What have you done to him? Have you hurt him?'

Severus flinched as though she had slapped him.

'I haven't … I would never … he's fine. He's safe.' She ignored his stammered answer and pulled herself out of the bed. Glancing around, she discovered that, apart from Severus, she was alone in the Hospital Wing. The rest of the beds were empty, and Madame Pomfrey was nowhere to be seen.

'Where is he?' she asked again, 'I swear if you don't tell me where my son is right now-' Her voice was rising hysterically, and Severus began to look rather alarmed. He was saved from having to answer, however, as the door swung open and Albus Dumbledore strode in, a small group of people in his wake. Lily breathed an enormous sigh of relief. If Dumbledore was here then she was in the care of the Order, not captured by Death Eaters, and that meant Harry was probably okay.

'Ah, Lily, you're awake,' Dumbledore said slowly, 'As you can see, a great deal of people have been rather worried about you.'

He gestured to the people standing behind him. They were all members of the Order, all dear friends. Lily's eyes flew instantly to Remus, the only person there to whom James had meant as much as he had to her. He was very pale, and his eyes were red and swollen. She stepped forwards and embraced him, holding on tightly. He hugged her close to his chest, clearly knowing instinctively that she needed to be held, needed to share this loss with someone who understood.

When they broke apart, Lily could feel tears streaming down her face. The rest of the group stood silently, allowing her the space to try and comprehend what had happened. She knew this wasn't the time to mourn, though. There were other things to be dealt with.

'Harry?' she asked, looking at Dumbledore. He nodded.

'He's fine, Lily. Surprisingly so, considering …' he broke off, and Lily began to panic again.

'Considering what?' she asked, 'What's happened? What did Voldemort do to him?'

'Considering … he was hit with a Killing Curse,' Dumbledore said gently. Lily stared. That didn't make sense. They'd just said Harry was fine. No one was fine after they were hit with a Killing Curse. They were dead. Had Dumbledore finally lost it altogether? She said nothing, hoping he would explain further. He did.

'Voldemort cast Avada Kedavra,' he said, 'Yet somehow Harry survived. The curse rebounded and hit Voldemort instead.'

'So Voldemort's gone?' Lily asked. It seemed too easy.

'For just now, certainly,' Dumbledore agreed, 'Whether he will stay "gone" remains to be seen. He is certainly no threat to us now, and probably won't be anytime in the near future. All of Wizarding Britain is celebrating. The war is over.'

Over. The war was over. It seemed impossible. They'd fought so hard and for so long that it had begun to seem like they could never won. And now they had. Voldemort had been defeated. And what's more, defeated by her one-year-old son. It made no sense.

'I understand that this is a lot to take in all at once,' Dumbledore said sympathetically, 'Try not to worry about it all right now. I understand that you have a lot to cope with at the moment.'

Lily nodded, barely listening to him. Her mind was racing. Suddenly she remembered something.

'Wormtail!' she gasped, turning to Remus, 'Peter! Where is he? He's the-'

'Dead,' Remus said flatly, 'He's dead.'

'What? How? What happened?'

'He went after Sirius. Wanted his own revenge, I guess. Poor Wormtail. He never stood a chance against Sirius, of course. Sirius blew the whole street up. Killed twelve innocent muggles, as well as Peter. The Aurors got him though, and he's on his way to Azkaban as we speak.'

Lily stared at Remus. For a moment she was so stunned she couldn't seem to make her mouth work. Then the words all came tumbling out at once.

'Sirius wouldn't … he's not … you've made a mistake. He can't have-'

'He's the traitor, Lily,' Remus said, breaking into her convoluted little attempt to explain, 'He betrayed you to Voldemort. He betrayed us. Betrayed James.'

'No he didn't!' Lily exclaimed, 'That's what I'm trying to tell you! Wormtail was the traitor. We changed Secret Keeper at the last minute. It was Peter who betrayed us to Voldemort, not Sirius. Sirius never would. You've got the wrong man!'

Everyone's faces showed identical expressions of shock at this revelation, but Lily was watching Remus. As he registered what she had said, a spark of hope appeared in his eyes. Hope that perhaps he hadn't lost all three of his best friends in one go, and that perhaps he still had one.

'I'll send an owl to the Ministry of Magic immediately,' Dumbledore said, turning to stride from the room. His departure left the room entirely silent. Lily's friends were watching her apprehensively, as though unsure how to handle her. She forced a smile, trying to reassure them that she was alright.

'So where is Harry?' she asked, glancing around to see if any of them might be holding her son.

'He's with Molly,' Arthur Weasley explained, 'Dumbledore needed someone to look after him while you were unconscious, and you know what Molly's like with kids. Seven of her own and that's still not enough; she has to look after everyone else's for them as well.'

This raised another question.

'How long have I been unconscious?'

'About a week.' It was Diana – an old schoolmate of Lily's – who answered this time, 'You had all the symptoms of someone who'd just been hit with a Stunner, but you wouldn't wake up. Dumbledore tried everything. You just stayed unconscious.'

'We were starting to wonder whether maybe our temporary adoption of Harry might have to be permanent,' Arthur admitted. Lily frowned.

'That's odd,' she said, 'I'm sure it was just Stupefy that he hit me with.'

'Perhaps it was just particularly strong,' Lupin said, 'After all, this is Voldemort we're talking about. He was incredibly powerful.' The word "was" sounded odd, but wonderful, in relation to the monster who had caused so much fear for so long. It was hard to believe that he was in the past tense now. He was gone. They were free. It was still difficult to comprehend.

'Who cares what curse it was?' said Andromeda Tonks cheerfully, 'All that matters is that you're okay now.' Lily nodded, smiling tearfully around at her friends. They'd been fighting together for so long, struggling to overcome Voldemort and the Death Eaters, and now it was over. She'd imagined this moment so many times – how they would all celebrate together – but now it wasn't right. Every time she'd imagined it, James had been there. They'd been supposed to either die fighting together, or celebrate together at the end. How could she celebrate now?

Suddenly she wanted to be alone. She loved her friends dearly, but she couldn't be with them right now. Their sympathetic gazes were suffocating her. She had to get out, get some space.

'I'm going for a walk,' she announced, slipping past them. They watched her go, but no one tried to come after her.

The corridors of Hogwarts were empty and silent. The students were no doubt off celebrating with their families that it was over and they were all alive. It was a little eerie, and she was relieved to reach the front doors and get out into the cool, fresh air.

Standing at the edge of the lake, under that tree where James and his friends always used to hang out, she let the memories wash over her. The way he'd always sat here, messing up his hair and playing with that awful snitch and sneaking glances at her. The way her friends had wondered at why on earth she kept turning him down. The denial she'd felt when she found herself sneaking glances back at him and starting to think the ruffled hair was kind of endearing, rather than completely stupid. The way she'd felt when the two of them had found themselves sitting out here alone, and he'd asked her out again – seriously this time. Their first kiss, also under this tree.

The tears poured freely now, unchecked by her previous desire to appear calm and in control. It didn't matter now. Who cared what she looked like? James was gone, and nothing mattered in comparison to that.

'Lily?' A voice broke through her sobs. Brushing the tears from her eyes, she turned towards the person who had joined her by the lake.

It was Severus.