Chapter 7 After Party
I needed to get away, they were all just staring at me. It wasn't like I had never used the word before. Jacob of all people shouldn't have been surprised. One minute I was starring at all of them wondering why everyone had gotten so quiet and the next minute I couldn't take it anymore and had to run.
The wind on my face as I ran along the coast of the gulf relaxed me better, cleared my sense. I just didn't know what I was running to, what I was running from. I just knew I had to run. I didn't stop until I reached the spot where Maggie and Ben visited us. I dropped on my back in a sigh no longer worried about my hair or dress.
"What is wrong with me?" I asked looking up that the moon. There was a half moon, not quite full but I still was beautiful.
You don't belong with them… a voice in the back of my mind said to me. The same voice that appeared when I craved freedom. I ignored it. Me leaving made no sense. I couldn't leave my family. Why would I leave? Up until about a week ago I was completely happy that I had found my place.
I tensed as the wind blew. I relaxed when I recognized the scent. I knew that someone was bound to come after me, but I was hoping it wasn't so soon.
I could hear him about a few miles away. I sat up facing the direction that he would be coming and waited.
There must have been something expectant and impatient about my expression because Rami's worried expression shifted into an eyebrow raise and smirk. "Been waiting for me long?" He asked appraising me.
"I smelled you coming a few miles back." I admitted.
He thought over that for a moment. The space between his eyebrows puckering for a minute before he controlled his expression. "May I sit?"
"Go ahead." I said motioning in front of me.
He sat down, ignoring the fact that he was like me, still wearing his party clothes. We were silent for a few moments just listening to the sound of the ocean before I broke the silence. "How much trouble am I in?"
"I don't think any." He chuckled, his blue eyes sympathetic. "You left a lot of concerned people back there." he said after another pause.
"I bet." I sighed placing my chin on my knees looking towards the ocean.
There was another long pause before he pressed further. "Would you like to talk about it?"
"Do you ever feel like you're being unintentionally smothered?" I asked repeating how I was feeling at the time. Even thought the truth was that wasn't my only problem. "I mean, I know that my family loves me. But, I've grown a lot and I feel like I don't get the chance to show that."
"I see." He said letting me know he was listening but wanted to hear all of my thoughts before he gave an opinion. Something that I loved about the calmer of the twins. He treated me like an adult.
"Its frustrating." I growled grabbing sand with in my hand as I clenched them into fists. He stared at them for a moment before I relaxed them. I couldn't control the rage flashes I've been having lately but I needed it to not boil to that point while were we're talking.
"Do you feel the need to establish your own identity, separate from the Cullens? Have a chance to be an adult on your own with your family?" He asked possibly giving me the solution to my problems.
"But could I really leave?" I asked. "I mean I know I am free to leave when I want, but up until a few weeks ago I was purely happy here. I felt like everyone found where they fit. My family can walk around her free from scrutiny and be themselves. This place is literally a paradise for us."
"You have never been limited by sun, and you're are capable of blending with humans. From what I know, your family has all lived away from the main household at some point and time. Maybe you need to spread your wings." He thought really pondering ways to help me.
"But what about Rosabella? She has never been in the human world. She's happy here. And to tear her from Ciyan and Phillip would be cruel. And my family, how would they adjust?"
"Well they would miss you." He stated matter-of-factly. "We would miss you. An you know that you are welcome back anytime, but if leaving is what you have to do, even if it's only for a little while. Maybe it's for the best."
My mind cleared again and I could remember the details at the main house a lot clearer when they were covered in red. "And Oh my God, Esme. I growled at Esme. I growled." I whined covering my hand with my face.
"I won't pretend that that wasn't odd, but she's forgiven you." He stated confidently.
So this was it? Was I really leaving? "What am I going to tell them?" I asked voicing my third thought aloud.
"The truth. Just tell the truth and they will understand." Rami answered brushing his black hair out of his face. He stood up quickly, "I'm sure they haven't even moved since you left."
He offered a hand out to help pull me up, I smiled grabbing it. As soon as my weight was being pulled up I felt his hand flash hot. Hotter than it ever has. Hot to the point that he released my grip dropping me back into the sand with a gasp.
"What is it Rami? Is something coming?" I asked my instincts making me look around for whatever danger was near.
He flinched away from shaking his hand looking around like I was. "It's gone." He said confused still looking around. For a second I though his eyes flashed at me and his hand. But I could have been imagining it. I was because he was completely fine , "Yes, whatever it was must have changed direction from the area." He pondered.
"Oh… does that happen a lot?" I asked taken aback by his first reaction.
He paused for minute and then continued, "Often enough for you not to worry."
"Oh, ok." I sighed staring at the sand.
"We really should get back." He smiled about to put his hand on the small of my back but then stopped as I walked forward.
When I did get back to the house Esme was the first person that I apologized to. I was rueful to the point that I wept and even though she said it wasn't necessary and she forgave me I didn't feel like I deserved for it to be so easy. Then after Esme I apologized to everyone else, but they also forgave me so simply it made me sick.
It didn't go unnoticed, that when I walked back in the house. Rami went straight to Asima hugging her and saying that he and Sami had to leave for patrols. Asima, Jake, ad my dad all felt the need to see them out. Probably wanting to know what we talked about. But I wasn't worried about that. I knew Rami would never betray my confidence, it just wasn't him.
Everyone seemed normal after they came back in, but agreed that I should probably get some sleep. "Let's go home Nessie." Jake suggested as I suppressed a yawn.
"Ok," I sighed letting him help me up. I mumbled a goodnight to my family, and another set of apologies as I was guided out the door.
"Baby?" I asked coming out of the bathroom wearing another one of Jacob's t-shirts.
"Yes?" He asked sitting on the bed.
I got in quietly, pulling the covers up to my legs before speaking. "What do you think about leaving Jennah for a little while? Just you, Rosabella, and I."
"What do you mean? Like a vacation?" He thought his eyebrows creasing together.
"Kind of." I said nodding my head, biting my lip before I continued. "Kind of like an extended vacation."
"For how long?" He asked thinking it over again.
"Indefinitely."
"But you love Jennah." He started as if he were trying to make sense of it.
" I know. I just think that maybe we need time to be a family alone." I argued.
"I don't know, what about everything that's going on with you. It's probably best to be-"
That flash of irritation burned through me again and I interrupted him in a hiss. "There is nothing going on with me. If you don't want to move fine but don't try to make me seem like I'm a fucking mess because of it." His face was frozen in a mask of confusion and pain and I instantly knew that I messed up. " Oh, Jake, I'm sorry." I apologized quickly kissing his face and wrapping my arms around him.
He froze completely unsure how to respond to my sudden mood change. After a second or two of my whimpering apologies he returned my embrace. "It's alright."
"We don't have to move or anything ok let's just not talk about it anymore, ok?"
"We can talk about it in the morning alright, get some sleep." He said as if he were talking to Rosabella, almost placating.
I wrapped my arms around him and went to sleep. Once again I dreamt about Zach.
"Heading out?" Jake asked curiously as I washed up the dishes from breakfast.
"Huh." I asked barely hearing him lost in thought.
"You have your purse on the table. Are you heading out?" He repeated again.
"Yeah, I need to go to Cairo and pick up a few things for Rosabella. Mainly some new dresses since she's out grown most of them, and probably some sheet music. She isn't fond of the classics." I smiled putting away the last dish.
"Are you feeling ok?" He asked pushing my hair out of my face to examine me.
"Yeah why?" I asked smiling at the thought of me not being ok.
"Nothing, you just, did that weird blackness thing again when you were asleep." Looking at me over his glass of orange juice expectant of a explanation.
The truth was for the past few nights, Jake hadn't been able to see my dreams. I simply told him that I wasn't dreaming of anything, slightly relieved that this was the case. The dreams I were having about Zach would be a lot harder to explain than blackness. I had to find a way to get him out of my head. I lied coolly "I was zonked out Hun, I didn't really dream of anything."
"Figured as much." He grumbled staring at the table.
"I'll be back in a few hours." I promised grabbing my bag.
"Wait!" He half shouted. "Let me come with you."
"Don't be ridiculous, you hate shopping." I smiled trying to imagine him following me from store to store.
"Let me just go. I can hold your bags, we can pick it out together." He suggested almost begging.
"No, don't be silly." I smiled kissing him on the lips. "I will be back in a few hours." I ran out of the door before he even had time to protest.
"Why are you resisting me so hard?" A wickedly sinful voice asked behind me as he wrapped his arms around my waist.
"You need to stay away from me." I groaned putting the dress back on the rack and walking away from him. The need I had wasn't as strong as it was when I was at the oasis, so it was easier to walked away from him. I walked to another rack and picked up two I saw automatically making them keepers.
"No you need to see that resisting me is pointless. You want me as much as I want you." He growled low as a customer passed.
"No stay away. I am married and I don't need to do anything." I hissed walking up to the store clerk to pay for my things.
"I'm starting to grow impatient." He warned following me out of the store.
"I don't care." I hissed behind me walking around the vendors to get to another store. "Go away!"
And like that he was gone. I looked around and he had disappeared. I bought Rosabella's new sheet music in peace and even bought myself a few extra t-shirts since the bite on shoulder blade hadn't healed a bit since the first day. Stupid….whatever he is. I thought to myself.
I normally didn't go farther down into the shopping plaza but I wasn't in a rush to go back home with everyone monitoring my movements. At the very end there was a single building that stood apart from he rest of the stores, in decoration and in feeling. It was shadowed in the others and didn't appear at all inviting. A fortuneteller. Suddenly, I wanted my fortune to be read.
It didn't look anything like the shops people stumbled into on the movies. There were no incense burning no scarves hanging every where, not even the bell that announced my presence. I was expecting an older lady to walk out from behind a beaded curtain and that too didn't happen.
The room was brighter than it appeared to be outside. Florescent light, not candles. The table was grander, pure oak. No cloth covered it, it held one deck of cards and the walls were lined with shelves of books, not potions and ingredients.
A girl that appeared to be my age walked from the back, a room behind the cash register, "Hi welcome the -" She started with a smile and then stopped when she saw my face.
"Hi, I was hoping to get my fortune read." I requested smiling kindly.
"I can't help you." She said quickly, her deep brown eyes questioning something.
"I have money." I offered confused as to why she was refusing my service.
"I can't help, your type. So please leave." She requested firmly, but there was another emotion that was breaking thru underneath. Possibly fear. And it made me wonder if she had any idea about my type.
"Look, I'm not going to hurt you. I just really thought it would be fun to get my fortune read. You see I've been debating this decisions and maybe it could help." I explained. She didn't move from where she was and it made me anxious to leave. "Thank you for your time." I dismissed grabbing my bags again and walking towards the door.
"You're lost." He said just as my hand reached for the knob. It wasn't a question it was a statement, she was telling me she knew.
"Yes, yes I am." I sighed finally admitting it to myself.
She pulled her coal colored hair into a pony tail and continued forward. "Sit, let me see if I can help."
"How was shopping?" Jacob asked taking me out of my train of thought again after I put away all of Rosabella's new things.
"Great." I smiled letting Rosa read her book for a little while longer. I walked into our bedroom and started putting away my new things too. "I got a lot of stuff as you can tell."
"I missed you," He sighed kissing the back of my neck and I froze from where I was.
"I missed you too baby." I exhaled as he moved my shirt over kiss down my neck, gently nibbling on my left shoulder when he got there.
"Tell me you're mine." He requested in between kisses.
I responded the same way I always did. "Forever."
He leaned over to my right side attempting to do the same and the flash of anger spread through me. Stop letting him touch you! The voice in the back of my mind yelled and I jumped. "Not tonight Jake." I sighed shaking him off.
"What is it?" He asked studying my face again, this time adamant that something was wrong.
"Rosa is awake in the other room." I said before grabbing my new shirt and walking into the bathroom. I had just taken my shirt off then he barged in, I barely had time to turn my back to him. "What the hell Jake, what's wrong? I'm changing."
"That's another thing." he pointed out. "Since when is changing in front of me a problem? "
"Can you let me finished getting dressed and we can talk about this when Rosa is asleep?" I spat hoping I could have time to come up with something.
"No we're going to talk about this now." He ordered slightly raising his voice. "And since when do you wear things like this to bed?" He asked picking up my long sleeve shirt and pulling away from him.
"I just…" I was silent searching for some type of out.
He came towards me and I backed up slowly. "Something is going on with you and either you are going to tell me or I am going to fi-" He stopped what he was saying, something in the mirror catching his attention.
Shit! I thought to myself. I had backed up to far.
His face was enraged, and every muscle in his body seemed to be shaking, his jaw locked trying to hold the phase that seemed to be coming any second. I needed to get out of the bathroom incase it was here.
Me passing him snapped him out of whatever trance he was in. "Nessie what is that?" He demanded.
It was simple question that I didn't know how to answer. I grabbed the shirt attempting to cover it up. He was across the room in less than two seconds taking the shirt from my hands again and tossing it back on the bed, turning my body so that he could get a better look. "Is that a bite? That's a bite? That's what you've been hiding this whole time."
"Jake, you're shaking." I said making note of his hands against me. He had never held me to tight and even now he wasn't but I still wanted out of his grasp.
He ignored my words. "Who…what did that to you?" He asked in a growl.
"I… I don't know." I said barely above a whisper. He released me, looking away and I sat on the bed in my bra and jeans not looking up from the floor.
After what seemed like only a few seconds of silence he spoke again. "Get up, let's go." He ordered.
"Where are we going?" I asked barely above a whimper.
"To Edward." he stated flatly. His face void of emotion.
Another flush of anger flashed through me and I was on my feet in seconds. "No we are not!" I growled daring him to even think about telling them.
Something in my eyes made him narrow his, and before I knew it I was off the floor and over his shoulder. "Put me down Jacob." I snarled trying to kick myself free. He only grabbed me tighter.
"What the fuck is it with everyone picking me up?" I growled furious to the point I was seeing red. "Put me down."
"I'll put you down when we get to Edward's." He said walking into the hall.
I shrieked inaudible swears at him, pounding at his back and kicking trying to get free. "Let me go damn it. I swear if you don't-"
"Mommy?" Rosabella called almost frightened walking into the hallway. "What are you doing?"
I simply didn't care. I was seeing red to the point that I ignored her continuing to kick and move trying to get down.
"Honey Mommy is just having a tantrum, were going to your grandpa's Why don't you spend the night at Ciyan's ok." He said robotically continuing towards the door.
"Really?" She asked unsure if she should be worried or just run over.
"Yes really, so pack your bag and walk straight there before it gets too late." He ordered walking out the door.
"No you don't." I screamed grabbing the doorframe and holding on. I held and Jake pilled until the doorframe splintered leaving nothing but pulpy wood in my hands. I shrieked again kicking and screaming down the street as he walked faster and faster towards my family's house.