Chapter Five
"James was obsessed with documenting Harry's progress," Lily began, "He was determined that he wouldn't miss anything – first time crawling, first word, first steps. I did point out that since we were unable to leave the house and were with Harry at all times we were unlikely to miss anything, but he wanted to have it all recorded. Photos weren't enough; he wanted every single moment of Harry's early childhood on camera. He liked to be able to show Sirius all the funny little things Harry had done and boast about how clever his son was. So we set up a system, sort of like muggle CCTV cameras, except that they were linked to mine and James' wands, and we could view them like memories in a Pensieve. They were set up all over the house and … well we didn't switch them off. So I guess they will have recorded James …" she tailed off, but Dumbledore looked excited.
"And we could view them right now?" he asked, "In my Pensieve?" Lily nodded. She knew this was important, but she was suddenly terrified. She wasn't sure she could cope with watching James die. To stand there, a helpless spectator, as Voldemort killed her husband.
Severus noticed her reluctance.
"You don't have to watch it," he said gently, "Albus could go in on his own. You don't have to be there." Lily took a deep breath.
"No," she said, "I think I need to do this. But … Sev, you'll come with us?" She knew she sounded desperately pathetic at the end, needing her old friend to come with her. But she couldn't go through this on her own.
"Of course I will," he said, "But you should probably leave Harry in the office." She looked down in surprise. She had forgotten Harry was there; he was sleeping so peacefully and quietly. Severus was right. Harry didn't need to be a witness to his father's death. He was too young to be exposed to something like that.
Setting him gently down on one of the chairs, she watched as Dumbledore got his Pensieve out.
"We'll be back in a minute, Harry," she whispered. Then she muttered the little charm she and James had invented, followed by the date and time of the footage she wanted to see. A long, grey strand, less shiny and transparent than a proper memory, fell from the end of her wand into the Pensieve. The three of them gathered round, looking into it.
"Ready?" asked Dumbledore. Lily nodded, and leant forwards, feeling herself tip into the Pensieve.
When she landed, the front hallway was empty. She could hear Harry's happy giggling from inside the living room, but resisted the urge to look through the doorway. Seeing the three of them together and happy would be too hard. This was going to be difficult enough as it was without seeing more evidence of exactly how much she'd lost.
And then the wards were broken, and James was yelling at her to take Harry and go. She heard herself running through the kitchen, and then James burst through the doorway into the hall. He stood facing the front door, looking so brave and so resigned that Lily wanted to cry. More than that, she wanted to run forward and embrace him, to drag him away with her to safety, but she couldn't. Needing something solid to hold onto, she grabbed Severus' hand. He seemed surprised, but squeezed hers gently.
"I forgive you, Wormtail," James said aloud, confirming Lily's belief that he wouldn't have been angry with his old friend. Suddenly, she wanted him to be angry. He was about to die, to be taken away from her, and it was Wormtail's fault. Wormtail deserved to be punished. He had betrayed James, betrayed them all.
And then the door flew open, and Voldemort stepped inside. Even though she knew this was a memory, she felt herself draw backwards a little. But James didn't look scared. He looked calm, incredibly calm.
Unable to watch anymore, Lily buried her face in Sev's shoulder. She heard Voldemort offer to let James live, and she heard James beg Voldemort to kill him instead of Harry. She wanted to tell him to stop being so stupid, because Voldemort didn't work like that, but realised that actually she'd said the same thing herself.
And then Voldemort yelled the curse, and she heard James' body hit the floor. Severus held onto her tightly and pulled her up out of the memory, and they were back in the office. Lily suddenly realised she was sobbing into Sev's robes and pulled back, embarrassed.
"Sorry," she said. He didn't reply, but handed her another handkerchief. She began to wonder whether he had a stash of them with him, or whether he was just conjuring them up for her sake.
Dumbledore was watching her carefully.
"I'm sorry you had to go through that, Lily," he said sincerely, "But it was necessary, for Harry's sake. And I now realise that my suspicions were correct."
"What suspicions?" Lily asked, picking up Harry, who was still sleeping, and sitting down.
"It was James' sacrifice which allowed Harry to survive," Dumbledore explained, "In offering himself in Harry's place, he invoked a very powerful sacrificial magic, one which Voldemort, having no understanding of the power of love, completely overlooked. When he came to try and kill Harry, however, the curse was unable to touch him and instead rebounded, hitting Voldemort himself. The scar on Harry's forehead marks the place where he was struck, but he bears no other damage, making him the first person in my knowledge to ever survive the Killing Curse."
They all turned to look at Harry. He looked so peaceful and innocent, and far too fragile. Lily couldn't believe her tiny little son had been hit with a Killing Curse.
"What … what does this mean?" Lily asked. Dumbledore sighed. He suddenly looked very old and very tired.
"It means the prophecy was correct," he said. Lily looked at him blankly, but beside her she heard a sharp intake of breath from Severus.
"What prophecy?" she asked. Briefly, Dumbledore explained that a prophecy had been made, referring either to Harry or to Neville Longbottom, Frank and Alice's son. He told her that this prophecy was the reason he had advised her, James and Harry to go into hiding, and that the mark on Harry's head clearly showed that he was the one marked by Voldemort "as his equal". And he told her that her son was the only one with the power to destroy Voldemort once and for all.
When he had finished, Lily's head was spinning. Little Harry, her little Harry, the one who would finish this war? It wasn't possible.
"But he's only a baby," she protested.
"I know," Dumbledore agreed, "But although Voldemort is not yet gone for good, the Killing Curse which rebounded and hit him has certainly earned us a respite. It may be years, perhaps even decades, before he builds up the strength to return. I don't know how long we have, but I know he will return."
"And you want to raise Harry as a weapon for when he does," Lily said coldly. She had always respected that Dumbledore had to make some difficult decisions as their leader, for the benefit of everyone, and that sometimes he was willing to make sacrifices that the rest of them could never have managed. But to bring her son into this, before he was even old enough to understand what was going on? That was too much.
"I'm not saying this out of personal choice," Dumbledore said, "I would like nothing better than to let Harry lead a completely normal life, and to find some other way to win this war. But there are going to be others who won't allow that. Firstly, the Death Eaters. As we speak, Aurors are working to round them up, but many are still free. And they're certainly going to blame Harry for their Lord's demise. They may even try to seek revenge. For that reason, both you and Harry need to stay somewhere safe, at least until they are all safely in Azkaban.
"Secondly, the entire Wizarding World. We cannot allow any details about the prophecy, or the way in which Harry managed to survive, to become public. This means the Wizarding public will see Harry simply as the child who succeeded in vanquishing in the Dark Lord when nobody else could. Naturally, rumours will circulate. Harry will come to be known as a hero. There is absolutely nothing we can do to stop this.
"And finally, Voldemort himself. Having heard the prophecy, Voldemort will most certainly see Harry as a threat, and will seek to eliminate him as soon as possible once he returns to power. This puts Harry in a great deal of danger."
"So what am I supposed to do?" Lily asked. This was all so overwhelming. Just a week ago, she, James and Harry had been safely hidden away from the world, just the three of them. Yes, the war had still affected them, but they'd felt secure in the belief that their friend's loyalty would keep them from harm. And they'd been happy. And now here was Dumbledore telling her that her son's life would be in danger from now until Voldemort could be destroyed, if that was even possible, and that he was somehow expected to save the world.
Seeing her face, Dumbledore's expression softened.
"I'm sorry," he said gently, "This is too much to ask you to cope with right now. You don't have to do anything at the moment. However, we do have to ensure that you and Harry are safe. One way to do this would have been to invoke the protection of James' sacrifice by sending you to stay with blood relatives of his. However, as I understand it, James had no living relatives."
Lily shook her head.
"His parents' died not long after mine. And since I don't talk to my sister, neither of us really had any family left after that. We just had each other."
"In that case," said Dumbledore, "I believe the only truly safe place for you would be here at Hogwarts. As I suppose it is unlikely you wish to return to Godric's Hollow, and since we have an opening for the position of Muggle Studies Professor, I propose that you come and join the teaching staff here at Hogwarts. You and Harry will of course be provided with accommodation within the school, and as I recall it, you always were an excellent teacher, back when you used to run those little study groups for the younger students."
Lily was taken aback. She hadn't expected an offer of a job. She'd thought they'd just be staying at Hogwarts temporarily, until the danger died down a bit.
But then again, where would she go if she didn't stay here? It wasn't like she had a proper job to go to. The war had been such a dominant part of their lives when she left Hogwarts that she hadn't really considered her long-term career. All that really mattered was surviving from one day to the next. She'd worked as a shop assistant for a bit, and as a waitress, but never anything permanent.
And she would enjoy teaching. Particularly Muggle Studies. She'd spent half her school career doing that anyway, correcting all the ridiculous stereotypes some of her classmates had about muggles. It would be nice to do it in a more official capacity. And it would be nice to be back at Hogwarts again. Back where she'd been happy, before everything had gone wrong.
"Can you give me a few days to think about it?" she asked Dumbledore, "I think I'd like to, but I need a bit of time to decide for definite."
"Of course," Dumbledore smiled, "The students have all gone home anyway, and it might take a bit of time for everything to get sorted out and for the school to reopen. There's no hurry. Take as long as you like."
"Thank you. I'm going to take Harry downstairs now, if there's nothing else you need to talk to me about? I want to talk to some of the others."
"Naturally. Take care, Lily."
Severus watched as Lily left the office, then turned back to the headmaster.
"Have you had any more news about my trial?" he asked anxiously.
"I talked to the Minister today," Albus said, "The Ministry are happy for you to remain at Hogwarts until a date is set for the trial. Mainly, I think, because they don't have any available Aurors to come and take you to Azkaban, and because they know I would strongly resist their efforts. I think it may be a while before they have time for your trial. The public wants to see justice done, and there are a great deal of other Death Eaters who need to be dealt with in order for that to happen. Your trial will be more of a formality really. The Minister knows you are innocent, and as far as I know nobody intends to give evidence against you."
Severus sagged with relief.
"Thank you, Albus," he said. It wasn't often that gratitude was so evident in his voice, but right now he was very aware of how much the headmaster had done for him. If it weren't for Albus, he'd probably be rotting away in Azkaban right at that moment.
"Well I do have something else to ask of you," Albus said, "I noticed Lily seemed to be rather dependent on you a few minutes ago. Can I take that to mean that she has forgiven you for your previous actions?"
"I don't know," Severus said slowly, "She certainly says so, but I don't think she's really in a state to know her own feelings at the moment. She's grieving and vulnerable and she needs a friend to be there for her, someone who really understands her. It's not surprising that she turned to me. It's very likely that once she's stronger emotionally and thinking more clearly she'll realise that there are still a lot of things to be worked out between us."
He kept his voice as neutral as possible, trying not to give away just how much this meant to him. The way Lily had grabbed his hand during the memory, and then had turned to hold onto him, had reawakened some part of his heart he'd though had died years ago. To be needed like that, like he had been back when they were eleven and she was venturing into a completely new world which she knew nothing about, but which she'd believed him to be the expert on. To be needed like he had been when her sister had ignored all of her letters, and she'd cried on his shoulder for hours. He'd almost forgotten the way she was capable of making him feel valued and necessary with a single gesture.
"I agree that she needs somebody to be there for her," Albus said, "And much as their intentions are good, the rest of her friends aren't going to be able to do that for her. For them this is a time of celebration, a time to be happy because the war is over. Oh, perhaps Sirius and Remus understand what she has lost, but they will be too busy coping with their own loss to fully support her."
"What are you saying?"
"I want you to stay at Hogwarts, Severus. Harry's not the only one in danger of vengeful Death Eaters. As a spy, you may well be blamed for Voldemort's downfall by his more loyal followers. After all, it was your information that led him to Godric's Hollow that night. And I appear to be lacking a Potions Professor. Will you stay, Severus?"
Severus had to admit the man was good. Mentioning Lily first, so that he'd find it almost impossible to refuse.
"Very well," he sighed, "I'll stay. But don't expect me to be a good teacher. I'm nothing like Lily. I'm terrible with people, and I can't stand kids."
"Thank you, Severus," Albus said with a smile, "I appreciate it."
So that was it. He was a teacher. The last thing he'd have expected to end up doing with his life. But then again, he hadn't really thought past being a Death Eater. Having a normal job at all wasn't something he'd particularly considered.
It wasn't going to be fun, or easy. But what in his life ever was? And he'd be doing it for Lily.
That was all that mattered, in the end.