Alexis folded her arms across her chest and glared at her fiancé. He had wanted her off of her feet, so she was. He hadn't wanted her doing anything but rest, so she had tried that. He had insisted they call the doctor now that she had gone out into their sea of friends and family and shown them how "fine" was. Dr. Bernstein was about five minutes away. She couldn't understand why he was sitting beside their bed tapping the toes of his tennis shoes against the floor. He looked about ready to jump out of his skin. It wasn't his concern that bothered her, only in the way he chose to execute it. There was a good chance the cancer hadn't progressed because hair loss was a common occurrence when it came to Chemo; they just wanted to be sure. This was one thing they could agree on: they needed to figure out the next step.
"Are you sure he was just coming from the hospital?" Mac asked, vexed. He rubbed his palms up and down the course material of his jeans in an effort to relax. Even a short-lived relief would be welcome at this point, but his nerves were having none of it. His imagination hadn't stopped since he had found Alexis in their bathroom with a handful of her hair clogging the drain. It was not an image that would be leaving him anytime soon.
"It's mid-afternoon. He might have hit some traffic..." Alexis tried to appease him, but it was to no avail. She couldn't soothe his fears when they matched hers beat for beat.
"Shit." Mac's right arm struck out and hit one of the bedside lamps sending it crashing to the ground.
"Hey!" Alexis snapped at him. "There'll be none of that."
"This waiting..." Mac defended himself.
"I know. It's not any easier for me, but I don't want to frighten my daughter."
"How long are we going to be able to lie to her?" Mac wanted to know, sounding both irritated and exhausted with the effort it took to deceive a little girl he loved so much.
"We haven't lied to her." Alexis shook her head fervently. "She is too young to understand all that's going on."
"Why didn't you tell me you've already been through this once?" Mac cut her off halfway through her explanation in indignant annoyance.
Alexis' head jerked up and her eyes were wide when they locked on his. "How did you...?"
"You should have told me. You should have told the doctor." Mac griped.
"What difference does that make? I can't believe you checked up on me!" Alexis had never known him to abuse his position like this.
"Someone had to when you're lying to even me!" Mac shot back with equal passion.
"I've never lied to you!"
"You're lying now! You're avoiding and it's the same god damn thing!"
"So you've never lied to protect someone you love? Is that right?" Alexis cocked a wary eyebrow at him.
"I don't need you to protect me!" Mac retorted angrily.
Alexis wanted to respond incredulously, but she saw the instant flash of hurt in his eyes and couldn't do it. "You love me too much sometimes..."
"There is no such thing." Mac cut her off.
"Mac, I'm sick. I get that...I'm not trying to avoid anything." Alexis struggled to keep her voice even.
"Then why not tell me that this was a relapse?"
"It wasn't important! What happened before is not affecting what's happening now!"
"You don't know that. Your immune system is already vulnerable. How could you not tell us? What if the drugs the doctor's been giving you are useless because he didn't have the facts?" As he asked this, Mac had been making his way closer and closer to the bed so that their faces were mere inches apart.
Alexis bowed her head slightly and averted his eyes. "I didn't want to think that I might not be so lucky this time."
"You mean you didn't want to appear vulnerable." Mac correctly bluntly.
"That too. Ever since the kidnappings, I've felt like I haven't been in control of anything. My collapsing didn't scare me near as much as knowing that a bunch of whackos had my baby. And then, when I was forced to retire from a position that I've dreamed about having my entire life...I don't know how to slow down. I don't know how to be patient." Blinking back tears, she added, "I'm not this person."
Mac sat back on his haunches, awestruck. He had never heard Alexis admit to having any sort of vulnerability and never to this extent. If he closed his eyes, he could picture her as a little girl, trying to make her father love her only to find out that she wasn't a good enough reason for him to stay, trying to follow her mother even as she, herself, was being manipulated into doing things that a child never should have had to do. He could so easily see her reverting back to the frightened girl she had been and it broke his heart. He hated having to break her, but she wouldn't open up to him any other way.
Dr. Bernstein arrived then and any further explanations were put on hold. Mac hurried downstairs to let him in, thanked him for coming, and led him up the stairs. Mac hoped he appeared calm because he really needed to prove to Alexis that he was strong enough to take care of her. When she made comments like her feeling the need to protect him he was further justified in trying just a little harder because obviously she didn't have any faith in him at all.
"Miss Davis, we must stop meeting like this." Dr. Bernstein joked upon entering the bedroom.
"Well, what are you gonna do?" Alexis replied with a forced giggle.
"I hope you don't think we're being paranoid in calling you. We know you're a busy man, this being a Sunday after all." Mac rambled uncomfortably.
"It's no problem." Dr. Bernstein responded affirmatively.
"Did my test results come back yet?" Alexis wondered, wanting to get down to business.
"Yes."
"Is the hair loss just a reaction to the Chemo?" Mac asked tentatively.
"In most cases, yes..." Dr. Bernstein frowned.
"But not in mine?" Alexis yelped. She shook her head and tried to rein in her fear.
"Your test results came back positive for bone metastasis."
"What does that mean?" Mac prodded.
Dr. Bernstein pushed his thin framed silver glasses onto the bridge of his nose and took the seat Mac had abandoned. "When we did the surgery, I was certain we had cleared out the cancer and, even if I happened to miss something, the Chemo would take care of it. Bone metastasis is what we call the spreading of the cancer to the bones. I don't want you to mistake this for bone cancer, because they are very different. Your bones may get weak and unable to function as well as you would like."
"Why didn't you find this before?" Mac demanded, noticing that Alexis had gone completely silent.
"As a doctor, I rely on tests. This didn't show up until Alexis' last appointment." He turned to face Alexis. "I'm going to need you to return to the hospital for a biopsy—"
"No." Alexis interjected. "I go back to that place and you'll never let me come home."
"If we don't go, it could worsen." Dr. Bernstein warned.
"I just got my daughter back and it's been hard enough taking her to doctor's appointments with me. She's still psychologically traumatized from what happened to her and I will not put her through a repeat of my last extended hospital stay."
"What kinds of treatments are we talking about?"
"Other than the biopsy, nothing. We'll need to run an MRI and a CT scan before I can give any definitive results."
"Definitive results?" Alexis scoffed. "What would you know about that?" Mac reached for her hand but she pulled it back. "This is not a science experiment gentlemen. This is my life! This is the only one I get." She met Mac's eyes that instant. "I've got you with your perfect childhood, perfect parents, astonishing children…you…you want me to be a part of that, but I really don't think you've thought it through all the way. How can you look at me and see something that I can't see?"
"Because I love you Alexis. I've always been able to see the person you are inside and out."
"And you," she wheeled on Dr. Bernstein, "You and your diagnoses that change every five minutes! Stop giving me time I don't have and stop trying to steal it away in the same breath!"
"If this isn't treated right away…?" Mac tried to bring the subject back around to one rational point.
"Personally, I've never seen a positive result."
"What about miracles Doctor? Do you discount those as well?"
"I don't believe in letting the deceitfulness of miracles rob my patients of their lives."
Alexis turned slowly toward Mac. "I'll go and have the tests run and the treatments done if…"
"If what?" Mac pressed.
"If you don't tell our children."
*****
"You're really doing this?" Lindsay shook her head in disbelief. "Did nothing we say penetrate your thick skull last night? You are crazy!"
"I know." Georgie assured her friend. "This is the last thing I thought I would be doing on my college trip, but it feels right—"
"We went over this last night. You're letting lust do the talking here!" Lindsay placed her hands on her hips defiantly. "I get that thinking you were pregnant was scary and all but Georgie you are not pregnant. If it's really right you can wait until you both know each other's middle names."
"Or birthdays." Ronnie pointed out from her position behind Lindsay.
"Lars." Georgie replied confidently. "And September seventeenth."
"Damn it I thought we had her there." Ronnie muttered under her breath.
Georgie held out a hand. "Listen, I know this is sudden, but you've got to trust me."
Lindsay turned to face Ronnie, her head tilted in a quizzical slant. "Haven't all disastrous plans started with those words?"
"I'm pretty sure Napoleon said that before Waterloo."
"And Nixon before Watergate."
"This is my wedding day and my two best friends can't find a way to be happy for me?" Tears collected at the corner of each of Georgie's amber brown eyes. She had expected tension from her family, but this was so out of left field. Hadn't these two pushed her toward Steven even before she recognized the feelings she had for him?
"Honey." Ronnie walked over and engulfed Georgie in a hug. "Honey we want you to be happy but this is just so not you. You're the planner. This is something we would expect from your sister."
"So I can't be spontaneous? There's a rule book when it comes to love?"
"Spontaneous yes." Lindsay sighed dramatically. "Although why you chose now to listen to us about loosening up is beyond me."
"I love Steven." Georgie stated simply. "And he wants to marry me. We're going to have enough people tell us we made a mistake, but I know we can do it if you two are behind me."
"Oh and she twists that lovey-dovey knife like an expert." Ronnie exclaimed laughing.
"Do I have to warn Steven what a little manipulator you are?" Lindsay wondered. "I mean if you two loons are determined to do this, the man should know."
Georgie considered arguing the charge, but figured they were right. Hopefully she had the same influence on her family once she returned home as a Webber. "I don't have a dress. And I don't have any shoes." She sunk down on the bed.
"And the real reason she needs us suddenly rears its head." Ronnie laughed heading towards the closet. "Alright, if you had worn us down earlier we could have done some serious shopping but this calls for some serious intervention."
"Is there enough time?" Georgie wondered through a sea of tears.
"What time did Prince Charming set?"
"Eleven a.m."
Lindsay looked down at her watch. "Well it's nine. We have two hours."
"Let's go ladies. We'll strategize on the way." Ronnie declared. "Grab your purse Georgie. Linds, grab the make up and hair gook. We'll style on the way."