The ride to the hospital was hell. I don't know how else to describe it other than the worst twenty minutes of my entire life. Although I was desperate not to let Christian out of my sight, I understood that it was best for me to travel separately as they just wasn't enough room and I didn't want to distract them from helping him if I couldn't compose myself.
My mind was in overdrive and I just couldn't shake the thought that I had possibly just seen my husband alive for the last time. I couldn't stop crying and dry heaves racked my body for the majority of the journey , as I struggled to catch my breath from all the crying. Taylor had called Sawyer after my phone call earlier on the balcony and he had offered to drive us to the hospital why Taylor sat in the back with me. Beneath Taylor's hard exterior even I could see that he was badly shaken by the events of this morning. Although Christian and Taylor were often formal around each other, deep down I know they both see each other as good friends, and I know for a fact Christian would trust Taylor with anything. The possibility of losing his boss and good friend, even though we all know Christian can be an ass sometimes, had definitely gotten to Taylor, who sat in silence with his head in his hands for large parts of the Journey.
Despite my state I knew I had to call Grace, I wasn't sure if she was at work this morning but either way she had to know about her son. Christian means the world to Grace and if anything was to happen to him I'm not sure any of us could cope. If she wasn't in work it allows her time to dash to the hospital as the Grey's only live a short drive away, and if she was at work, it gives her time to prepare for the frightful sight that she is about to be confronted with.
I quickly dial the number and as I do the spot of blood I see on the corner of my phone completely reverses my attempts to compose myself before this phone call. I don't know what to say, how can I possibly tell her that her son is fighting for his life as we speak.
"Hello Ana, your calling early, me and Carrick have only just gotten up, disgraceful I know but we thought we'd have a lie in for a change." Grace sounds cheerful and I can't hold back my sobs when I hear her voice.
"Ana? What is it, what's wrong? Are you okay?" Grace's tone immediately changes, and a sense of urgency takes over in her voice.
"Its .. Chr..istian." I try to get out.
"Christian, where is he? Please tell me he's okay." Grace sound's like starting to cry already and I haven't even told her what's happened yet.
"This.. Morning on the balcony, someone shot him, he's on his way to the hospital,…. Grace you have to get there." I take a deep breath and slowly breath out as I hear her horrified reaction on the other side.
"Ana, is it bad?" she whispers on the other end of the line. I just let out another loud sob, and I know I should be able to control myself better than this, but I can't I just can't. I'm so scared of losing him.
"Ana please?" I hear her plead, prompting a response out of me.
"Yeah Grace it's bad, it's really bad." I whisper and I hear her scream at the top of her lungs for Carrick on the other end of the line.
I hear her take a deep breath. "We are leaving now Ana, Christian will be fine, he's so strong." I'm not sure if she says that to try and convince me or herself, but either way it helps slightly.
I hang up and try to think if there is anyone else I should call, I can't think straight and I feel Taylor grab my hand. This is the most emotion I have ever witnessed from Taylor and I'm thankful for it.
The image of my Christian being wheeled into the ambulance attached to so many wires and tubes, will haunt me for the rest of my life. After the paramedics had arrived he started coughing up blood and I overheard the paramedics taking about the bullet hitting one of his lungs, and the possibility that he could soon go into respiratory arrest. I watched as they put a tube down his throat, which absolutely terrified me and I just held his hand and told him that I loved him that the children love him over and over, as I wasn't sure he was properly conscious and I needed to try to and get through to him.
Gail kindly offered to take care of the kids for as long as need be, she was upset herself but I trust her with the children and I know she will do everything and anything to protect them. Taylor had called a whole group of security who were positioned around the house as we left, so I least I have some peace of mind that my children will be safe why me and Christian are gone. Christian is coming home with me, I will make sure of it.
My thoughts turn to the person who did this. Who would be so cruel as to try and rip apart a family like this. Christian has a wife and two small children so why would anyone want to take him away from us. Sure Christian properly had enemies I mean I'm sure every business man does, but to try and kill him, that's a different level. I mentally list our enemies, Jack Hyde, Leila but I doubt these have anything to do with this.
My mind wanders as I wonder if it's for the money, is someone trying to get to his money. Or maybe they were trying to get to me, maybe the bullet was meant for me and the sniper they obviously hired got it wrong and hit Christian instead. It has to have been a professional. I wonder if they were hiding in the long grass in the meadow, or perhaps up a tree, it sounds so ridiculous to me how someone would go to such lengths to do this. I wonder what would of happened if I hadn't decided to go out onto that balcony, maybe Christian wouldn't be hurt. Perhaps they would of found another way to get us, or maybe Taylor would have had time to foil their plot. I shake off these thoughts as my mind returns to worry about my husbands health.
I finally snap out of my own thoughts as I feel the car stop. Taylor quickly gets out of the car and comes round to my side to open the door I get out slowly and that is when I hear a voice shouting my name.
"Ana, Ana!" I see Grace running towards me, her eyes darting down my body and for the first time I acknowledge properly that my clothes are covered in blood. I see the fear in her eyes, as I do with Carrick as he sets eyes upon me and once again I see the shock in his face as the extent of this horror show becomes clear.
Grace wraps her arms around me, as we both cry, and I'm sure I can see Carrick over her shoulder wipe a tear away. We release our embrace and run towards the doors of the hospital.
Carrick immediately takes control of the situation striding in to the nearest doctor.
"Christian Grey, were his family, where is he?" I see the doctor nod as he gestures for us to follow him through the doors. Briefly I wonder why everyone in the room is staring at me and then I remember the blood on my clothing.
We follow through the doors and he leads us into a small room on the left side of a corridor stating that he will go find someone who can give us some information. I notice he gives a slight smile to Grace, as they obviously know or maybe even work together on a daily basis, but she is clearly in too much of a state to say anything else to the staff right now.
A few moments later a more senior doctor comes in, who also clearly recognizes Grace and she stands waiting for some news. I feel myself hold my breath as I wait to know if my husband is still with us.
"Please say he's alive?" I'm practically begging the doctor to tell us good news.
"Yes he's alive Mrs Grey, your husband".. "son" he looks towards Grace, " has been taken down for emergency surgery. The bullet has damaged his left lung.. I feel myself tune out as my legs collapse from under me and I hit the floor. I feel Carrick pull me up and sit me in a chair, as the doctor continues to explain that while Christian's still in critical condition, they are confident they have got to him in time.
My mind once again is in overdrive and I feel eternally grateful to this man for telling me that Christian is still alive. I think back to the last time we were In this hospital, the Day Phoebe was born. I can see Christians face now as he held his daughter for the first time.
"I know I'm her father but I think she's going to be the most beautiful girl in the world." He looks up and he looks like he is overflowing with pride.
"I know" I smile and we decide to call her Phoebe.
"She looks just like you Ana" Christian states and he's right she really does except for one feature, a feature that is most definitely from Christian.
"Except her eyes, they are the exact same as yours Mr Grey" He smiles, kissing baby Phoebe on the forehead.
I awake from my day dream as I hear the door's of the room we are sat in swing open. I look up and I see Mia come running in, with Elliot just behind. Mia's mascara is all over her face obviously from crying.
"Mom, Dad please tell me he's okay." I have never seen Mia like this before, she's always so put together, but right now she looks like she could be fifteen years old again. Christian and Mia have always had a unique bond, arising from when they were little and I can tell she loves her big brother with all her heart despite his obnoxious attitude and their petty arguments.
"He alive Mia." Grace say's as she pulls Mia into her arms. "He's going to be okay right?" She asks lifting her head off her mom's shoulder.
"The Doctor's hope so, he's in surgery now so we should know for sure in a few hours." Grace states quietly as much to Elliot as to Mia.
"I'm going to kill Christian myself when I see him, for putting us through all this," Elliot rants, but I can tell he has also been crying due to the redness around his eyes.
"Is that his?" Mia look's at me and I feel helpless, I need to change now.
Grace leaves the room and in a few moments comes back with some clean clothes and I slowly make my way to the bathroom. I change as quickly as I can, desperate to get these bad memories away, so I can pretend that this never happened once Christian wakes up. I scrub at my hands viciously before sitting on the floor of the bathroom sobbing. I notice the door of the bathroom open and close and then a few seconds later Mia comes in and sits down beside me.
"It's going to be okay Ana, Mom says that Christian is too stubborn to leave us, you know how much he loves inflicting chaos on our lives, he would never give that up."
"I know, I know I just cant help it, I just keep thinking about when it happened, I can't get it out of my head." I whimper and I feel selfish that I am inflicting this on Mia, who is equally devastated.
She doesn't say anything and we just sit for a while, before making our way back to the waiting room. I take a second to call my mom, who does the best she can to console me, promising that Christian will be okay and back on his feet in no time. She promises to try and get the next flight from Savannah and I say that I will see her soon.
As we sit in the waiting room, every possible scenario runs through my head. What will I tell the children if something happens to him. How will I be able to look at Phoebe with her fathers beautiful grey eyes staring back at me. But then there is also those scenarios where Christian is alive and awake and in just a few short hours he will be able to talk to me and reassure me that he will be fine, typical Christian Grey style.
I take a deep breath and wait, Carrick is talking quietly in the corner to Grace, whilst I am seated next to Mia, who is talking to Elliot on the other side of her. They are reminiscing about some of the practical jokes Christian has played on them in the past and I smile at some of the stories. This definitely sounds like the Christian I know and love, playful Christian, the Christian he is with me and the children.
The children. I decide I need to call Gail soon to see how they are, as it seems like they are the only thing that I can think about to make me happy. Christian, I, Teddy and Phoebe the perfect little family. I pull out my phone and scroll through my photo's and smile. There's one of Christian holding Phoebe when we first brought her home, there's one of the two of us smiling in bed, I am kissing his cheek as he took the photo from above, There's one of Christian with Teddy on his shoulder's, one of me holding baby Teddy and Phoebe one in each arm and one of Christian laid out on his front in the front room, moving a train around a toy track as Teddy watches in enthusiasm. Then I come across a video we took of Teddy just before his first birthday . I hesitate slightly before pressing play.
"Ana he is going to walk, look" Christian is looking as Teddy who isn't showing much interest in doing what his father wants.
"I don't think so Christian, I think he's more interested in his toy car if I'm honest." I hear my voice say from behind the camera.
"Just keep recording okay." Christian states glancing up at the camera before turning his attentions back to Ted.
"Teddy, Teddy, walk to Daddy" Christian encourages, trying to get his attention.
"Christian I really don't think he's in the mood" I laugh, I cant see it happening, I think he'd rather play with his toys.
"Teddy" Christian continues, ignoring me, determined to get his son to walk. He had been standing for a few weeks now, and Christian is obsessed with making sure we catch it on camera. That is when my mouth drops open as all at once Ted stands up and waddles the few steps over to Christian with his car in his hand. Christian looks up at me and I see the pure joy in his eyes. He lift's up Ted and whirls him around, only to be met by giggles and laughter.
"That's my boy isn't it." Christian grins as he holds Teddy up to his face.
Teddy is giggling uncontrollably until he utters something that makes us both look at each other in shock.
"Dada" he gargles, "Dada" again, he claps his hands together and giggles some more.
"Ana did you hear , he said Dada!" Christian is elated and swirls him round some more.
I see myself cut off the video and I know well enough what happened next. I joined Christian and Teddy and he put his arms around me and hugged us tightly. For the rest of that day Christian used absolutely every opportunity to gloat that Ted had said Dada as his first word. I smile as I look up from my phone. I notice that the rest of the family must have been able to hear the video too, I hadn't noticed as I was in my own little world, as happy tears rolled down my cheeks.
"He's going to be okay, Christian's strong, he wouldn't leave us." and for the first time since this morning I feel hope, knowing that our little family will be back together again soon.