We all look up quickly desperate for this man to tell us Christian is okay. Please Please Please tell us he's alive. The silence in the room is deafening before we hear the news and the second before he speaks feel's like a lifetime. I feel like my future, my life, everything, hangs in the balance as the doctor begins to speak.
And that's when I see it, a very faint smile becomes detectable on the man's face as I scrutinize it and suddenly things no longer seem hopeless.
"I have good news." I feel everyone in the room exhale the breath they had been holding and Mia begins to cry. "the surgery went as well as we could of hoped." The sense of relief within the room is overpowering and I feel the cheeks begin to run down my face.
"Does that mean he's going to be okay?" I ask desperate for more concrete information.
"I'm hopeful your husband will make a full recovery Mrs Grey. However you have to understand he's still unconscious and very ill at the moment and we'll need to monitor him carefully over the next few days in Intensive Care.
"Thank god." I whisper, as I repeat the words I'm hopeful your husband will make a full recovery in my head. I swear I will never let Christian out of my sight again after this performance. My head is swimming and I take deep breaths and put my head between my knees. Me passing out would do absolutely nothing to help this still awful situation despite this new positive news.
Elliot must notice my distress and comes to sit next to me putting his hand on my back gently.
"Ana are you okay? Did you hear? Christians going to be alright." the tone of his voice changes from worry to elation and I put my head up slowly as the dizziness passes.
"I know, I know, Thank god." I start to cry harder and he pulls me into his arms. I can hear the doctor talking technical medical terms to Grace, and he is explaining Christian's condition in more detail. I hear word's such as shock, blood pressure, ventilator, chest tube as I try to listen to their conversation but the words just go over my head. I can only concentrate on one thought.
Christians going to be alright. I want to hug my children so badly, I know they have no idea what's going on but I just want them in my arms in this moment so I can tell them daddy's going to get better.
When I manage to refocus, Grace is hugging the doctor and I assume they must be colleagues of some sort.
"I'm going to kick my little brother's ass when he wakes up for scaring us all like this." Elliot grins and I know that this is Elliot's own way of showing how much he loves his brother. I smile weakly but genuinely and I too feel like I could give Christian a good telling off for putting us through this, but I know it wasn't in any way his fault. I feel a spike of pure hatred towards the person who did this.
"I want to see him, can I see him?" I suddenly blurt out, I am desperate to see for myself that he's okay. After all the doctor said he's still very ill and feeling his warm hand in mine will make me feel so much better about everything.
"We are just getting him settled and then you can see him one at a time." The doctor replies directly to my question. I nod in answer to his reply. I can not wait to see my husband.
The doctor seems to have finished talking to Grace and Carrick who had also been eagerly listening in to news about his son.
"Does anyone have any questions." he asks, this time addressing the whole room. I shake my head, as does the other members of the family. I don't know what comes over me next but before I know it I get up and hug the doctor. I'm not sure if its appropriate but I feel like he's saved my life.
"Thankyou so so much." I cant express how grateful I am to these people. I feel like I wouldn't have been able to live with out Christian. I know people say it gets easier but I can't see how it could of ever got any better. I need Christian in my life because he's the love of my life.
"I'm just glad I could help." he states casually and I avoid eye contact with the rest of my family and slink back to my seat embarrassed. As Grace says a final thank you, the doctor leaves the room and the tears flow from everyone just as a result of down right relief.
I'm agitated as I sit and wait for the go ahead to see him. I just want to see him, as I know he's not completely out of the woods yet and I need to see my husband.
About half a hour later a nurse comes into the room and say's that we can see him now. Grace insists that I go first and tries to explain to me not to be scared of the hospital equipment Christians attached too. She explains that he has a tube down his throat to help him breathe for now but the doctors are hoping to take him off the ventilator as early as tomorrow morning. She also explains that he will have a tube inserted into his chest to remove any air, fluid or blood and will help keep his lung inflated till it's properly healed. Apparently because he's young, fit and healthy he should recover relatively quickly and I just pray that this is the case.
All this talk of tubes and wires scares the hell out of me and I hate the thought of seeing my beloved Christian like this. Grace said that they will give him antibiotics to stop infection and pain medication so it doesn't hurt as bad when he wakes up. I hate the thought of Christian in pain and I wonder how bad it must have been when this happened. Maybe the shock of it all overcame the pain and he couldn't really feel anything. I don't know, I just hope that he couldn't feel anything.
As they take me too his room I feel strangely nervous, I'm both relieved and scared to see him. I'm not really sure what to expect.
I open the door and my hand immediately flies to my mouth. My poor husband is covered in endless wires and tubes. I know Grace tried to prepare me for this, but it devastates me to see him in such a bad way and I can feel my eyes filling up with water already. I walk over to him and take him in for a second. If you removed all the wires he would look absolutely perfect as there isn't a blemish on his face. He looks just like he is sleeping, like he was this morning next to me, and I would give anything to have him wrapped around me again tonight and feel the familiar warmth I normally complain about. I mentally note never to complain about Christian making me too warm again.
I lean over and gently kiss him on the forehead running my fingers through his hair.
"Hey baby" I whisper. "I'm so happy to see you." I quietly pull the chair up to the side of his bed and take hold of his hand. It feels soft and warm.
"You sure know how to try and give your wife a heart attack don't you husband." I say in a lighthearted tone, I know he can't hear me but I feel better talking to him. I gently rub my thumb over the top his hand.
"I do hope your not thinking about turning this into a habit Mr Grey, I don't think my heart could take it." I smile but I feel a tear finally slip down my face.
"I thought It was supposed to be me who plays the damsel in distress, not you baby. Maybe I should up take a page out of your book and up your personnel security Mr Grey. I can't have anything bad happening to you ever again." I pick up his hand and hold it to me cheek, feeling the warmth.
"The doctor said your going to be okay though baby." I replace his hand back on the bed holding on to it tightly. "I think it was the happiest moment of my life." I muse as I listen to the beep of his heart monitor which is music to my ears.
"Our wedding too of course, and the day I met you." I remember back to when I was a silly little girl who couldn't even negotiate a office door without falling over. I chuckle to myself at the memory. "I'm just so glad your still with me Christian." I try to be strong and take a deep breath before I lose control of my emotions for about the one hundredth time of the day.
"Teddy was asking for you, on the phone, I could hear in the background. He misses his Daddy already and its only been a few hours. Gail's going to take care of the children till we get you all better Mr Grey, I feel sorry for her"
I watch the rhymic rise and fall of his chest and I can't wait for that horrible tube to be gone from his throat. I know it's helping him recover, but it scares me, it makes me feel like I could still lose him. Christian would hate to see him self like this, he's fiercely independent and hates to rely on others for help.
"I imagine that Phoebe will be a nightmare without you to settle her down at night. Poor Gail, she'll be so relieved when I tell her your going to be better soon." I get lost in my own thoughts. Christian will get better soon wont he, the doctor said he should make a full recovery. I shake away the nasty thoughts that invade my mind, but I know they wont be gone for long. The only time they'll be properly gone is when I have Christian awake and talking to me, like none of this happened. I know, I'll never be able to forget it though. The fear that I felt in that horrible moment. Christian will no doubt try and shake this whole incident off like it was nothing. But it was, I thought he was going to leave me. I suppose this must be how he felt after the whole Jack Hyde incident and now i know it hurts more than I could ever have imagined.
"The press was writing bad things about me, calling me a gold digger again." I whisper. "I felt like going outside to the nearest reporter and writing a check for every penny I have and saying here take it. If I did that though I think it might be me in here next as you would probably kill me Mr Grey. I smile slightly before continuing, "but I would do it, if it meant you would get better, If it meant you could come home with me to the children right now I would do it in a heartbeat." I don't need any of the money, I just need my family together again.
I'm going to ask Elliot and Carrick not to tell Christian about the article's I read, I know he'll only over react about them and he just need's to focus on getting better. When he's awake no doubt he'll act like a man possessed, wanting to do everything for himself, and refusing help like the frustrating moron my husband can sometimes be. If he thinks he's going back to work any time soon he can think again. There's no way I'm letting him over exert himself before he's ready. I'm sure the children can help me take care of him once he's home.
There's another issue that's bothering me too.
"When you wake up, I don't want you to worry about finding the person who did this too you. I want you to let Taylor and police or whoever take care of it. I want them locked away as much as you trust me, but as long as were safe, it doesn't matter, let someone else take care of it for once. Your dad will make sure they are caught and go to jail for the rest of their lives."
I don't know why I'm saying this because I know I'm practically asking for a miracle for Christian not to immediately want any information on the subject. I'm sure he'll be barking order's at people by this time tomorrow and in a way I hope that he is. I don't want this to eat away at him inside, I just hope that he talk's to me and doesn't try and keep me in the dark to keep me safe. This incident has confirmed my worst fears. Christian is not invisible like I had hoped and he need's to stop worrying about me and take better care of himself. Our family needs him.
"I love you Christian." I grip his hand that little bit tighter and I hate that I can't feel him gripping it back.
"If I lost you, I don't know what I would do." My voice cracks. "You're my everything and have been since the day I met you." I pause and look up towards the ceiling trying to coax the tears back into my eyes but its no good. The waterfall has already begun. again.
"What would I do without you baby." I cry as the reality of the situation hits me. What would I do without him. It's too painful to even consider. If I lost Christian, nothing or no one could ever make it better.
I reach down into my small bag, and pull out a frame.
"I got you a present baby, well actually I'm not sure who brought it to the hospital for me, but I thought it might make you feel better." I say as I wipe my tears away.
After musing over my photos on my phone, at some point during our wait I asked Taylor if it would be possible for anyone coming from the house to the hospital to bring me a photo from the mantle piece in the front room.
I look down at the picture the person chose. It's a family photo taken a couple of months ago. I run my hands over Christians face and then the children. We all look so happy on this photo. Christian insisted we had a professional family photo taken must to my insistence we had hundreds of beautiful photo's already placed around the house. I remember the day well…
I don't know why Christian insisted on calling some rich photographer to take our photo. We have so many beautiful one's already scattered around the house. The photographer doesn't seem incredibly friendly and I'm slightly annoyed that Christian went ahead and organized this even though I told him not too. The children aren't in the best of mood's and I can see this being a total disaster.
"Ana, are you ready yet?" He looks over at me and gestures for me to walk over to where the camera has been set up. I huff slightly and walk over with Phoebe in my arms. She's feeling very temperamental today and it wouldn't surprise me if she throws a fit for some unknown reason right as the photographer is taking the photo.
"Where should I stand?" I ask slightly harshly.
The photographer tells us where to stand and that Christian should let Teddy sit on his knee and I should hold Phoebe in my arms. I don't like his tone, he's too bossy. The whole thing just feel's awkward, and I know I won't like this photo as much as the one's that have been snapped by family members or the sweet ones where we didn't know the camera was there and we were in our own little world.
"Okay are you ready." The mean photographer asks and I plaster the fakest smile on my face. And then it happens. Just as I predicted Phoebe lets out a bloody curdling scream and starts crying.
"Phoebe, what's wrong baby, I stroke her hair," and rock her on my knee.
"Dada." She holds her arms out towards Christian who is about to take her when the photographer interrupts.
"No it will ruin the photo, these positions are perfect." He rudely utters.
I scowl at him, before turning to Christian. "I told you he was a mean man!." I whisper and Christian looks like he doesn't know what to say.
"She'll calm down in a minute Ana." Christian say's and now he too is on the end of my scowl.
"Christian she wants you to hold her. Just take her and she'll stop crying." I say as my baby screams at the top of her lungs.
"Mr Grey you'll ruin the photo, I really do feel Phoebe should be on her mother's lap to create the perfect image." This man is really getting on my nerves now and I am about to throw him out of my house.
Christian thinks about it for a second before doing something that makes me so proud of him.
"Will you just be quiet and shut up, all I want you to do is take a god damn photo. Not tell me and my family how to behave." He barks and take's Phoebe from me. Okay so Christian was probably a bit harsh, but this man was getting on my nerves.
Teddy gets down off Christian's lap and I pull him into mine. "Hello baby boy" I whisper kissing the side of his head.
The next thing I know Phoebe is squealing with laughter and Christian is tickling her.
"Take a photo now." I say firmly as I turn to the man, smiley photos of my family are by far my favourite.
He does as he is told, and although I feel a bit mean about my behavior I know for a fact Christian will be paying him a fortune. I feel the flash of the camera as he does as I asked and I giggle at the site of Phoebe laughing her little head off.
"Why are you laughing Mrs Grey, you have nothing to laugh about, unless…" He smiles mischievously and I know what's coming. He reaches one of his hands over and starts to tickle me and in a few short moment's my whole family is on the floor giggling. Teddy is laughing because me and Phoebe are laughing and Christian is smiling brightly at the chaos he has caused. When we have recovered, Christian stands up and walk's towards the photographer.
"I'm sorry I wasted your time, I'll make sure I pay you in full." He states and I can tell the 'mean' man wants to say something.
He hesitates before speaking. "I think I got some photos you might like actually Mr Grey." Christian leans over so he see around the computer screen that is set up and his face immediately turns into a smile. I get up with Phoebe in my arms and rush over to the screen with Teddy toddling behind me.
"I put my hand to my mouth and grin at Christian. These photo's are beautiful. I was too busy laughing to notice that the now 'not so mean' man was taking photo's of us rolling about on the floor. There's around ten photos that are just perfect. We are all entwined on the floor laughing and giggling and the smiles on the kids face's warms my heart.
"I love them." I finally get out. Phoebe is rambling utter nonsense to herself and pointing at the screen to photos she recognizes are of her which makes us giggle.
"I wanna see too." Teddy wines and Christian bends down and picks him up so he can see the photos on the screen.
"Thankyou" I smile at the photographer who's name I don't even know. "I'm sorry if I came across…" he cuts me off before I finish.
"It's fine Mrs Grey." He says nervously and I think he's still stunned from Christian's outburst. Oops I think to myself, this is my fault, but at least now I have photo's I would want to put all around my house.
"We will take ten copies of each." Christian says and I look at him incredulously.
"Ten?" I repeat and smirk at him.
Christian shrugs and smiles. My fifty always going overboard with everything, but I wouldn't want him any other way.
I place the photo on a small table at the side of his bed.
"You better be awake tomorrow baby, I think me and you need to have a little chat about how you will not frighten me like this again." I reach over and let my hand run down the side of his cheek.
"Perfect as always Mr Grey." I mutter.
I sit back down and kiss the top of his hand.
"I love you so so much Christian. Please come back to me soon. I really need to hear your voice so you can tell me It's going to be okay. Your so much stronger than I am, you always know what to say to make me feel better.
Come back to me baby" I whisper quietly and I feel guilty, like I should leave so Grace and his family can visit him, but I need a few more minutes or so , I don't want to leave him ever again.
Thankyou for the lovely reviews so far! (update: i'm not sure if it alerts when i update a chapter, i'm sorry if it does, i just noticed a few typos i had to get rid of! Please review!)