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Life In Letters
S – Scared
He stood besides his wife as she was giving birth. He had never been more scared in his life as he stood there with his wife's hand squeezing his hand. He took the towel and wiped the sweat off his wife's forehead talking to her in soothing tones. He had faced down murderers, guns in his face, beatings from people that didn't want to get arrested for what they did and he had even faced the plague, but what was about to happen was more scary than even all those things.
He looked at his wife and then at the Doctor as he was giving instructions to his wife. This was scary because he had never been around kids and they never liked him except for Carson he got along great with him. He was scared too because he wasn't sure if he was going to be a good father. Would he ignore his children? Would he ever hit his children when they made him angry? Would he tell them that they were worthless? Would he even leave them somewhere forgetting them if he got too busy? He didn't have the greatest role model when he was growing up. His own father had either ignored him, yelled at him telling him that he was worthless and he would end up in the gutter, sometimes he would hit him too and of course there were times that he didn't want to deal with him and so off he went to boarding school and camps.
He watched as his wife looked at him with a smile on her face. "You'll be a good Daddy." She said squeezing his hand again. She must have seen his emotions on his face if she was saying that. She knew about his past and about his father. He spent a lifetime burying his emotions and never showing them to others in fear of getting hurt. That didn't apply to Ellie though. He could never hide his emotions with her. With her he was himself and she loved him for it.
He heard the first cry of a tiny baby and he watched as the Doctor handed the baby to the nurse who went to clean him up. The second baby made her appearance as she too cried out loud. She too was handed to the nurse to be cleaned up. Anton was put into his arms and he looked down at the tiny baby and smiled. He passed the baby to his wife and Sophia was now put into his arms and smiled again. He kissed her tiny forehead and leaned down and kissed his son's tiny head. He was still a little bit scared, but he knew that he would get through it. He would not be his father.