Chapter Two- When All Hope Is Lost
We reached Antonio's within minutes and Jared came into view from the Glass window upfront. Bell stalked ahead of me and Jared stood to meet her lips. They quietly kissed for a second while I averted my stare at the ceiling and diverted my heart from aching again. Bell's voice was still echoing inside my head from all her nonstop blabbering a while back since she typically filled in the conversation by herself with no help from me, but I didn't mind, I wanted to think anyway.
"Can't believe you actually fell for that whole elegant thing." I heard Jared chuckle in between his sentence with his voice was approaching me. He leaned in and softly planted a kiss on my cheek while his hands were on my back, my body enclosed in his arms…
"Well, actually, I-I didn't. But it wouldn't hurt to catch some attention and maybe actually meet someone!" I teased back, winking at him. But that made his forehead crease and his lips form into a straight line.
"Anyway…" I cleared my throat and changed the topic before anything else turned uncomfortable. "I'm here now, what's the big news all about?" I said, acting relaxed. Some waiter pulled the chair back for me and I sat down while Bell and Jared echoed my motion and sat at the other end of the table. He threw an alarming look at Bell's direction and she nodded, almost as if she was directing him to continue.
Jared raced his hand and jerked his head upward to the waiter.
"Celebratory wine, please." He said with a charming smile while the waiter nodded and slowly walked away, but that unquestionably got my notice.
"Wine? Celebration? What's this all about? Aw, come on, Jared, tell me! The suspense is killing me." And I really couldn't take it any longer; I was bursting on the inside.
"Okay, okay." He took a deep breath and took a hold on Bell's hand. They both gave me a stern yet sincere look, and it was plain in their eyes.
"We have something to say…and we've decided to tell you first since well, since you're Jared's only trustworthy friend in the whole universe and since we have been friends long enough and all." Bell explained, the exhilaration leaking out of her mouth. She overused 'we' too much, and that bothered me. Please, it's not like they're going to commit to each other forever.
Unless…
I stifled my gasp of disbelief with my hand and I couldn't feel anything except…except hopelessness.
"No." I shrieked. Well, more like whispered, because they clearly didn't hear.
"We're getting married!" Bell sang, clasping her hands together while Jared just grinned happily, his arm around her waist, and his face plain with slight concern.
No, no, NO!
My internal repetition stung more than it should. They already came out like a married couple with the way they look right now.
That thought made me choke a little on the inside, but I got a hold of myself anyway and listened for more…hopefully something like "Kidding!" or "Gotcha!" from either of them.
But nothing came. Nothing.
"Jared proposed to me two nights ago! Have you ever wondered why I wasn't at the hospital that night? Well, anyway, yeah! We're getting married." That one appeared to almost punch me in the gut. It was painful enough the first time she screamed it.
It seemed like my heart just stopped functioning for a second, and it suddenly beat so fast I felt like I was having a stroke.
"You okay, Mel?" I didn't realize Jared being silent through all this, only now did he speak up.
"Yes, yes, course! I'm so happy for you two! Just a little in shock…Waiter, hurry up with the wine!" Hysteria overcame and filled my voice with panic, showing more than it should. But they barely caught that and were smiling instead. I heard Jared heave a sigh, but my eyes were on the waiter who was now coming closer to the table.
"Gruner Veltliner, sir? Only the Red ones are available. And, it's the best of this year." The waiter, whose name was apparently Will as shown in his nametag, suggested when he was standing now before me. He presented the bottle of wine in a classy manner and seemed ready to place it in the bucket of ice set in the middle of the table.
"That'll do. Thanks, uh, Will." Jared showed off his teeth and turned his head to face me. I smiled weakly, careful not to be caught off guard with my real expression.
"So uhm…when have you guys been planning this? Cause I never…I never really heard from you, Jared, about finally settling in completely…" I couldn't help but ask anyway. I thought Jared was just too nice to break up with Bell. Sure, they were a great couple once placed on paper but they always seemed mismatched to me. Of course, what do I know? With my bias and my prejudice. But getting married and having children…I never thought that.
"Uh, settling in? Babe, you never thought we'd settle in?" Bell raised her eyebrow at me when I asked the question and finally looked at Jared for some reassurance.
"That's not what she meant, babe." Jared swept in, with his golden tongue and calming eyes.
"No, of course not, Bell! I just thought that maybe it would happen in the latter years. No doubt you guys are perfect for each other!" Smooth, Melanie.
"Oh! Well, in that case!" Bell smiled, obviously satisfied with the answer. That was easy. "To be honest, I was the one hinting on it." She laughed and flipped her hair, touching Jared's hand in the process. "Eventually, I couldn't stand it anymore and asked him right in front of his face and well…the rest is history!"
"Oh." I fit in a smile to her and quickly looked at Jared, whose eyes were surveying my face like he always did when he thinks something is up.
We all sat in unusual silence after that.
Bell shot a glance towards my direction every after a couple of minutes or so, and I would just dodge that stare by looking intently on my meal. Jared tried to open a conversation a few times, but it backfired easily. I felt the smallest amount of guilt for making this night awkward, and I'm sure that they expected a better one than this, so I tried my uttermost best to at least make small talk.
I reached forward to get a hold of the wine and opened it.
"I'll take that." Jared insisted. I unwillingly gave it to him and he poured it into three slim glasses.
"Uh…to the wedding?" He hesitated, lifting his glass slightly to the air while he looked at Bell and then me.
"Yes, to the wedding. To Jared Howe and future Mrs. Isobel Howe!" My throat suddenly felt rigid and it was instantly hard to swallow when I said that. It wasn't necessary for me to say those last few words but I do have to keep my real feelings for Jared a secret if I want our friendship to stay, and if I want him to not be miserable-perhaps like me-in his life.
Because this is what I'm giving him right now, happiness.
We toasted to that, and I squeezed in a little smirk at them to let them know I'm fine with it, even if it wasn't true.
I even patted Bell's hand, which was empty of any sign of an engagement ring, and told her my congratulations.
"I really am glad for the both of you, and I can't wait! I could just imagine you walking down the aisle, with your long, beautiful wedding gown. And Jared, waiting by the altar." I pretended to move my gaze into space to give effect, like I really was thinking about the event.
My eyes traced down to her hand once more, but back to her face when she shrieked so high, that it was deafening.
"I am so glad that you are Jared's best friend! You could pass as mine too! We could talk about the wedding tomorrow and stuff!" She squealed again, and I slightly gaped at her finger where the ring should be.
Jared must've observed where I was looking, because he answered me before I could even ask.
"I kept the ring away first, just in case people might notice it when Bell wears it." Since I was still looking at Bell's hand, I could see from the corner of my eye that he was facing me. "Actually, I was just keeping it away from you, so it would surprise you. But now that you know…"
"You're giving it to her tonight?" I finished the sentence for him. Figures though.
"I was actually thinking maybe tomorrow morning, but sure, tonight would do." Jared now turned his head to Bell, and they stared at each other with those love-filled and satisfied eyes.
It felt like I was going to throw up.
"This is really going to happen." Bell whispered all lovingly, while Jared's hand lifted Bell's head.
"Of course it is. I love you." He whispered back. I could still hear them from this distance; didn't they even consider that I was right here?!
"I love you too." She claimed.
Jared leaned in, and there wasn't any space left between them, their lips were together once again.
I refilled my glass with wine and chugged it all down in one gulp. I badly needed to getaway; a moment to myself where I could bask in utter hopelessness and disappointment.
"Waiter, bill please." I gestured toward Will, and avoided to look at the joyful couple in front of me.