Debbie418uk2 - I love how we can use the same subject and have varying results. It's fun for sure. I'm also replying to your PM here, and thank you for the spelling suggestions. I did notice in my little John chapter "Mini Me", I had him not having problems with clothing, so I'm going to go back and edit that (though not have him naked :() LOL.

No pain or blood involved in this one. Just some embarassment.

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(Atlantis, John's POV)

How long have we been here, now? Our group practically moved here, to Atlantis, and now we're stuck. Every day we face new threats. Sometimes it's evil life-sucking aliens, sometimes suicidal other aliens, sometimes evil robotic aliens... Hell, sometimes it was diseases and sicknesses we've never faced before! Outbreaks of god-knows-what.

And over it all, the one thing I'm most worried about, on Atlantis at least, is, well... This.

Here I am, staring down at the transporter system and thinking over all the Star Trek shows I watched. That one guy, I forget his name... Robby, no, Reg.. Reginald Barclay! Yeah, that's it! He had a point about transporters and teleporters, though they only really had the transporters...

My point is, the guy had a point. We're 'teleported' or 'transported' and turned into billions of little micro atoms, or something, how easy was it for something to go wrong? One atom to be out of place? All it took was that. One atom out of place, and it could turn me, Col. John Sheppard, into pretty much anything.

Or, hell, even kill me.

"I don't like these things." I muttered, hesitantly reaching for the control. Sure, I've used them in the past, but I never really thought about the whole dematerializing and rematerializing thing. Now that I've watched practically a whole season of Star Trek, and that one episode in particular, and really thought about it...

Suddenly, my ear piece beeped, and I jumped a little in surprise. Yes, I said surprise. "Damn things." I cursed, lifting a hand to my ear and tapping the piece. "Sheppard here, what's up?" I turned away from the transporter, figuring I could always get back to it later.

"Col., Sir, the Daedalus just entered orbit." That was Chuck reporting as he'd been asked.

They were having some problems with their navigations arrays, or something, I'd missed the full story, and had to detour their trip back to earth so Rodney could help Hermiod with them.

"Got it."

Heading straight down the hallway, I stopped and groaned. Without taking the transporters, I'd take well over an hour, at top speed, to get back to the main tower from here. With them, it would take less than fifteen minutes.

In all reality, the problem with the array really didn't need me, but Elizabeth had mentioned we should all go, and that way we could make a trip to a nearby planet that had no gate, and check it out. Make a trip out of the malfunction, I guess.

I don't have a damn choice. I thought darkly, turning and stalking up to the transporter. Swiping my hand quickly, I waited with baited breath, briefly wondering how many Ancients were disassembled, and not properly reassembled, for them to get all the kinks out of the system. Whoo, boy. Not a comforting thought. I shivered as the doors opened. And way too much Star Trek. Stepping in, I turned and swiped my hand over the control, closing my eyes at the flash of light.

And of course, when I'd opened my eyes again, I was standing down the hallway from the locker room where our off world gear was stored. That's where I made my bee-line to, after checking over myself, to at least see that I was in one piece, and wasn't missing anything important.

After gearing up, and meeting the others in the control room, I sighed loudly as we made to beam aboard the Daedalus. Transporters worked, there didn't seem to be a reason for the teleporters not to. And they were Asgard technology, right? So there was an even slimmer chance of problems.

"Ready?"

Uh, how about 'no'? Nodding to Elizabeth, I saw her raise an eyebrow at me and felt my eyes narrow in return. That woman was entirely too perceptive, sometimes.

Tapping her ear piece, she gave me a strange look before turning away. "Weir to the Daedalus, they're ready."

There was another bright flash of light, and the next thing I knew, I was standing on board the Daedalus.

(Normal POV)

Luckily, the systems didn't seem badly damaged. It was just a small glitch Rodney'd mentioned, and Hermiod had even had it fixed by the time the team got down to the engineering section. It was a bit of a put out, but at least they were still going to go to that planet.

The trip was a tiny bit slower than expected, probably because now a glitch was showing up in the engine buffers, and even in some of the ID manifests. Locked rooms were being a pain to unlock and get into, and sometimes systems were going offline for seemingly no reason, only to come back online a few moments later.

Hermiod dismissed it as the glitch spreading to other systems, and that it wasn't really a glitch so much as a virus. Just not an intentional one, he surmised. Either way, he'd managed to locate and repair several of the problems, but had yet to locate the source of the virus, itself.

"Huh, maybe I should stay and help?" Rodney suggested, stepping forward.

Hermiod sent him a look that was about as scathing as a naked Asgard could get, and shook his head slowly.

"Or, uh, maybe not?"

"Come on Rodney, let the nice Asgard do his work." John stated as they turned and made their way to the tansporters. "Hey, uh, what's the chances the virus will have reached the transport system by now?"

Looking at John a moment, Rodney shook his head. "Don't tell me you're afraid! We should be safe for a while yet. Hang on and I'll check." He walked over to the console, he looked at it a second. "Hm, ok, maybe I was wrong. It looks like the system's not receiving full power. We can teleport down relatively safely, but only one at a time."

"Relatively safely?" John asked pointedly.

"Ok, someone's gotta go first, so I can test it. It'll be fine, Colonel." He wasn't even looking at the team as he waved towards the platform. "I'll work the controls and monitor the output, and go last."

"Gonna beam us down, Scotty?" John suddenly blinked and flashed back to Barclay getting in the transporter, alone, and being bitten by the weird bug caught in the system. "Uh, is this wise?"

"Smart ass." Glaring at me a moment, Rodney shook his head.

Finally, Ronon seemed to have enough and stepped on to the platform. "Lets just get this over with, McKay."

Looking up in surprise, Rodney nodded quickly. "Yes, yes. Of course. Ok." He typed in a command and watched the console as the others watched Ronon vanish in a beam of light. "And, ok." He seemed all too smug with himself as he tapped his ear piece. "Ronon, you ok down there?"

There was silence for a moment. "...Yeah, this place is... Wow."

"Ronon?"

"You brought me down in the middle of a village. Well, hello there." Everyone's eyebrows skyrocketed at the suddenly flirtatious quality in his voice. "A village full of cute young girls. Oh, and I'm ok. All in one-WHOA! One...uh...piece..."

One piece that was apparently getting grabbed, if his tone had anything to say about it.

Turning to the teleport platform, John watched Teyla climb up on to it, raising an eyebrow at him and obviously fighting back a grin. "I am ready, Dr. McKay."

Nodding distractedly, Rodney focused on the controls, oblivious to the redness in his cheeks, and typed in the command again. "Here we go."

Teyla vanished in a burst of light, and a moment later, they heard her voice come over the radio. "I am well, as well."

Nodding, Rodney turned to their leader and raised an eyebrow. "If you really wanna stay up here, I'm more than happy to show you how to work the controls, and you can beam me down."

Glaring at him a little, John walked over to the teleporter, trying to ignore his racing heart as he went. Stepping on to the platform, he hoisted the P90, keeping it aimed low, but at the ready, just in case. "I'm ready." He stated to Rodney as he looked up at him with a small grin.

Shrugging, he typed in the command. "You're ready to do." John heard the machine fire up, and the last thing he remembered, before teleporting away, was Rodney's face morphing into one of shock and him hurriedly scrambling to do something.

(Off World, John's POV)

Well, that really wasn't all that bad. No delayed time in the teleporter, with evil aliens. No pain, no fuzziness. I could still feel my hands on the P90, so I still had both arms. I was still standing, so I must have had both legs.

So...Why did Rodney freak out, and why did I suddenly have a feeling something was missing?

And...why was everyone staring at me in shock?

"What?"

I saw Teyla's eyes snap away from somewhere lower on my body and tap her ear. "He is here."

Frowning, I felt for my ear piece, never taking my eyes off the tons of eyes of all the, Ronon was very much right, cute girls, who were staring at me with really huge eyes. Wait, where's my ear piece?

Teyla was now grinning, and staring quite pointedly at my face. "He does not have it." She raised an eyebrow. "He does not have that, either." The other eyebrow rose. "No, he does not have them, either."

Ronon was chuckling and looked away.

"What?!" I finally cried, wondering what the hell was going on. Then, a breeze went by.

Yes, you'll notice I really noticed the wind. Well, I don't normally, but when I'm feeling drafts, I shouldn't be feeling, I tend to be a little more...perceptive?

Either way, I looked down. OhRodney'sgonnadie. I thought as I felt my eyes widen, jaw drop, and the sudden heat in my face. "WHAT THE HELL?!" Carefully, I moved my, thankfully still intact P90 to cover me the best it could, and gestured for Teyla to hand over her ear piece.

She did so, with one of the biggest, naughtiest grins I'd ever seen. "Colonel."

Feeling my eyes narrow, I took the ear piece and put it in my ear, hearing Rodney laughing up a storm on the other end. "McKay." I all but growled.

That must have been impressive, because Ronon looked back at me with a raised eyebrow, and Rodney shut right the hell up.

Taking a deep breath, I smiled the best I could at the giggling and whispering girls all around us. "Ok, you've had your laugh."

"I swear! I tried to stop it! There didn't seem to be a problem until I'd already set it to teleport you, and it came up last minute, and I managed to save something, it was only set to remove non-organic material, so you're lucky, but I didn't know what it was I managed to-"

"P90." I stated quietly.

He went silent before I heard escaping snickers on my end. I could just picture him hunched over the controls, laughing his ass off, but trying to keep it quiet. "I'm...sorry, Colonel." He managed to breathe after a moment. "And I won't be able to do anything about it for a while. The teleporters are now down, for safety of course."

"Oh, I don't think so."

"Colonel, we can't send anyone else down."

"I never said to send anyone else down." I heard him snickering again and sighed loudly. "Alright, alright. Very funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes."

That only seemed to send Rodney into a fit of hysterics, and now that vision changed to him rolling around on the floor of the teleporter room, clutching his stomach and laughing his ass off.

Teyla shot me a confused look, and I shook my head. I could explain later, but for now... I readjusted the P90, and wished it wasn't so damn breezy out.

Oh yes, Rodney is very much dead, when I get back.

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Hope you like it

R+R please

This was originally intended to have John face teleporter bugs, like Reginald Barclay, but in the end, I found this funnier. OMG! I couldn't stop giggling at this one, and I corrected the spelling mistake in Daedalus' name, thanks to Debbie418uk2

And since I'm here, and feeling up to it, BONUS UPDATE!

Thank you

Tenshi