Hey all, so I it's late for me in ATL but I had to post this chapter. So with the responses I got last chatper I was under the impress ch 24 needed to be a nessie chapter. So that's what we did. It's a long one, but alot happens. Fore warning this was also a challenge chapter. Once of my readers challenged me to make Jinny do something completely out of character and never explain it or anything. So that's what I did. If you don't like it you can blame LadyD321 lol. I did leave it opened to be explained later (maybe) but until then just enjoy. Let me know what you think.
Chapter 24- The Waxing Gibbous
"How do you deal with this?" I griped throwing the covers off and walking over to the balcony doors. I swung both doors open, letting the breeze cool me as best it could.
Zach propped himself up on his elbow chuckling. "We didn't have to come back you know, we could have stayed in Tuva for a bit longer. You're torturing yourself for coming back here."
"Don't remind me," I groaned still staring up at the sky.
Zach promised me that he would take me somewhere amazing, and he didn't lie. He took me to the Sayan Mountain range in Siberian Russia. We spent our days climbing mountains over twenty-five hundred meters high. Using only the bare necessities, we were wrapped in an adrenaline bubble, curbing the added tension of the moon as best we could.
And every day just before the sun fell, Zach would lead me to his own vertical camping sight, deep within the range and we'd watch the sun set. It was the exact same routine for four days, and I never grew tired of it, Zach always showing me a new view. With our nights spent suspended thousands of feet in the air, and our days spent the same my heart never stopped racing.
We could have stayed longer, but with the moon affecting me and ache for him to touch me grew stronger, I couldn't stand the tension that seemed to expand whenever we were alone. So I convinced him to come back, ignoring his warnings that it would be worse. I wished I'd listened, now I was forced to deal with not just mine and Zach's tension, but everyone else's too.
Zach wrapped his arms around me from behind, planting a kiss on my upper arm before staring up at the sky with me. "The Waxing Gibbous," He observed, resting his chin on my shoulder. "We're less than a week from the full moon."
"Let me guess, it'll get worse." I whispered staring up at the starless sky. The moon was still bright enough to turn everything it shined on black and white. I stared at Zach's hands linked together and resting on my stomach, his normal tan was almost the same shade as mine.
He hesitated choosing his words carefully. "It'll be a bit more uncomfortable, yes."
"Great," I deadpanned with a sigh.
He turned me around so that I could stare up at him instead. He had every intention of saying something, but got distracted; the moon effecting him just as much as it did me. Zach's eyes started on mine, then trailed down slowly along my neckline to where the button of his shirt started, lingering again where it opened on my legs then back up. "Did I ever tell you how sexy you look in my clothes?"
"That was a one-eighty from last week," I managed to choke out. Once I knew he wasn't going to argue about me wearing his things I'd taken a habit to wearing some to bed instead of the elaborate night gowns he bought for me.
I'd take whatever top went with his pajamas, and he'd wear the bottom. Nina almost squealed in delight when she had burst in on us getting ready for bed, saying that we were the cutest couple she'd seen in a century—next to her and Ray of course.
"Well I didn't know night wear was an option…" He crooned giving me that wicked smirk of his, a hint of his teeth shimmering in the moonlight.
A flash of heat boiled under my skin, and I had no control over the kiss I gave him. Now I've given kisses before, certainly, and with several degrees of expertise—but this kiss I gave him shocked even me. He growled against my lips and though I didn't stop the kiss my mind gasped with surprise.
He growled because of me!
The sound was loud, archaic, wild and hot; but if I were going to be honest, I liked the way it vibrated against my lips. I pushed him back into the bedroom, my tongue leaving echoes in his mouth and I could feel his blood course through him, and mine raced just as fast. It was hot and thick and my skin bloomed crimson everyplace he touched adding just a hint of color to the black and white scene the moon created and I never wanted anything more than for him to touch me.
I pushed him on the bed, straddling him and he only broke away from my lips to plant kisses on my neck and collar bone. With each kiss Zach consumed me, owned me; the friction of our bodies sparking a fire that I didn't want to put out. I let out a growl of my own when I felt him turn to steel beneath me.
His lips crushed into mine again, and I breathed frantically, but not enough to keep my head from going light. He pulled away to look at me and everything slowed down, his hands trailing my spine down to the small of my back claiming it as his.
My fingers traced his bare chest, and I took him in with an entirely different light. I sent him flashes of what I wanted—pictures so raw, ardent, and graphic that it made his eyes widen. One second I was on top of him and in the next I was beneath him before I could even process what happened.
Starting from the bottom, he unbuttoned the top I was wearing slowly, planting a kiss on my belly button once he exposed it. Bringing his mouth back up to mine, and kissed him again, frustrated that I was torn between finishing the undressing process, and wanting his lips on mine. To choose!
My fingers hooked under the waistband of his pajama bottoms and I tried my best to push them down as our lips stayed connected. Frustrated, I tore the side and he broke our kiss in shock.
"Help me out here," I panted without apology, my eyes gesturing at the boxers he was wearing still fully intact.
Zach looked out the balcony doors towards the moon, then back at me, and with a sigh he kissed my forehead. "Maybe we should stop Reenie."
I propped myself up on my elbows so that he could see my face, "Are you for real?"
"I'm very for real," he sighed pushing himself off of me and shaking himself free of the torn pants completely.
"You can't not want me," I argued gesturing at the proof as I sat up to compose my thoughts of what just happened.
Zach huffed a laugh. "Oh trust me Reenie, I want you. That isn't even a question, just, not this way. If we're going to do this, I don't want it to be because of the moon. I told you before, I won't sleep with you until you give yourself to me willingly."
"I am giving myself to you," I argued, but it sounded whiney. "It's not the moon."
Zach shook his head taking a seat in the large chair in the corner of the room—distancing himself from me, "There's no way to tell for sure until we wait until it's over."
"Again…" I sighed wondering what I could have done to make his mood change. Then I thought about my secret weapon. "Please…" I pouted.
"Don't tempt me, Reenie," He groaned like it was the biggest torture on the planet to have me there.
Maybe ripping his pants was a bit too much… "I know the pants thing was a bit rough, but I promise I'll be gentle."
Zach laughed gruffly, letting his head fall back against the chair. "I'm not even going to elaborate on all of the irony in this reversal."
"I'm glad you find me funny," I grumbled buttoning the bottom buttons again and crawling under the blanket, turning away from him. Was I really pouting?
Zach let out a long patient breath, and I could feel his weight shift the bed when he pulled himself in behind me. "In my hundred plus years I still haven't been able to grasp girl logic. If I sleep with you now, and you regret it if you realize it's the moon I'm going to be an asshole. If I respect you and love you enough to refuse you even though my body really doesn't want to, I'm still a jerk. Is there any way that I can come out of this situation not in trouble?"
"When you put it that way…" I sighed, hating that he had a point.
He wrapped his arm around me and I cuddled into him, settling for what I could get. "So you understand, you're not going to bite my head off now?" He checked carefully, not wanting us to go to sleep angry with each other.
"Oh, I'll bite you…" I promised, playing with my own skills of seduction.
Zach's blood flashed hot and he groaned, "Why are you always so tempting?"
I adjusted so that I could look up at him, "You could kiss me again and find out for yourself." I could feel his restraint and the pain from it smothering me. And for the first time, I was actually glad to be able to feel what he felt, it let me know how important knowing I wanted him because of him and not the moon actually was. If a person loved you that much, then how could you not respect their wishes to respect you? So I gave him a break. "Or, you can hold me until we fall asleep."
"I'd like that," He sighed pulling me closer, choosing the latter. I rested my head on his naked chest liking the warmth and comfort it radiated, and it didn't take long for me to let the night take me.
—
"So we're wearing a dress today?" Zach grinned when he saw me staring at the bed in a form fitting charcoal colored sweater dress. I already set aside a pair of black knee high heeled boots and debating on whether to wear tights or not. "Skip the stockings, and just wear the boots." He suggested buttoning up his pristine white collared shirt.
I opted for the socks, and sat on the bed, to slide my feet in the shoes. I caught him staring at me as I zipped them and he looked completely unabashed. "Are you a leg man Zach?"
"I guess you can say that," He grinned. "But you have so many qualities it's hard to choose just one feature to settle on."
"Then a Reenie man it is then," I grinned, walking over to the dresser to find earrings to match.
I shifted through the jewelry box, engraved Reenie, startled by him closing it from behind me. "I have something for you."
He placed two velvet black jewelry boxes in front of me, one was long rectangle and the other a short box and for some reason scared me. He was nervous, and it made me nervous so I opted for the safer one first. I cracked it open and stared at the moonstone pendant.
"Zach…"
He tried to finish getting dressed casually, but he was gauging my reaction with rapt attention. "I can put it on another chain if you don't like it. Something more fancy. I only want the best for you, and that one is as old as me, but it's the stone that holds the significance."
The stone was large, and was secured by a thick rope chain. It was simple, uncomplicated—but special and unique. The rainbow moonstone, had a milky white surface, but underneath in just the right light, there was a rare blue fire that flashed. "I want it the way it is, it's beautiful."
"I know my past bothers you, so I wanted to give you something that no one else can say they had." He explained coming over once he was certain my reaction was genuine and wasn't under obligation. "My father gave this to my mother when he chose her, he never gave it to anyone else after she died."
I had to sit the box down to give him the type of kiss I wanted. One of those blood boiling, all-consuming embraces that conveyed everything a person at a loss for words couldn't. He stopped the kiss before it could lead up to something he would have to stop again. "Open the next one." He urged a little more excited.
I grabbed it, no longer worried by its size, assuming that it was earrings but froze when I saw the white gold band. It was an open band (but it was still a band) with wolves howling upward all around it. "It's a ring…" I acknowledged carefully, taking it out of its box to look at the tiny wolves.
"The necklace represents that you are more important than anyone else from my past, but I needed something to represent the promise that I plan to make you my future as well. Call me old fashioned, but I think rings are still customary for that type of thing." He chuckled kissing the side of my neck and glancing at my expression in the mirror.
"And I should wear this on which finger?" I managed to get out, confused and unsure.
He pulled back sensing my hesitance, "What do you mean? Do you not like it?"
"No— I love it, I'm just— it's compli — I don't understan—are you proposing?" I nervously asked for clarification. "Is that what this is?"
Zach tensed, and his eyes fell to my hand where Jacob's ring still sat firmly. It was like he noticed it for the first time, the significance of what he'd just offered versus what I still had all weighed on him at once. He controlled himself better than I thought. I expected him to be angry, to throw something or storm out, but he took a deep breath, and like magic his attitude retuned as close to normal as it could.
"You can wear it on whichever finger you like, for the time being." He shrugged, but I caught the way his words lingered. Like he was promising I'd be his fully and it was only a matter of time. He picked up the necklace and I lifted my hair for him. "But this I want close to your heart."
It fell just above my breast, heavy, but comforting and I quickly slid his ring on the thumb of my right hand. "Thank you."
He eyed my choice of finger, but didn't respond to it. Instead fixing my hair so that it didn't just fall down my back but in front as well. Framing the necklace in the bronze tendrils making it stand out. "When I propose, I'll take you somewhere special. I'll plan the most amazing day I could imagine, we'll make love, and just when you think there isn't anything that could make the day more perfect, I'll say words so lovely that they'll make you swoon and give you your real engagement ring. I never proposed to anyone before, but I don't think it's a proper proposal if the lady doesn't swoon."
I giggled at his joke, "You always make me swoon, Zach."
His eyes trailed down to my gold ring again, but he kissed my forehead and smiled, "Then I'm at least half way there."
"What are you doing today?" I pressed, trying to change the subject.
It worked, "I'm going to have to tear myself away from you for a few hours to meet with the four." He informed apologetically.
It was my turn to frown, "Oh yeah, more supernatural domination to plot."
"Something wrong, Reenie?" He asked noticing my change of emotions.
I was quiet for a bit. I didn't know how to explain that I didn't want him to fight, that vampires were still dangerous and could kill him. I wanted to get him to realize that some vampires were indeed good, and that they could co-exist, now more than ever.
"You know, the structure of the Volturi has changed, you don't have to fight them anymore." I muttered carefully.
Zach shook his head, "I'm aware of the changes your friends and family made, but the institution still stands Reenie. I have an obligation to bring my people into the light, and in order to guarantee their safety the Volturi must fall."
"Maybe I can just take you there, Maggie and Benjamin are friends of the family they'll listen, and you can talk to them—"
Zach snapped an interruption, "They will slaughter us, just like they did before. Do you remember what happened when you were a child, when they almost slaughtered you and your family because you were unfamiliar?"
I frowned, I didn't like him using my memories as ammunition for his arguments, and especially since they were memories I didn't share. "That was different," I defended weakly, "The Volturi isn't—"
"It is no different." Zach stressed taking my hands in his bringing them up to his lips to kiss them before staring into my eyes. "Listen to me Reenie, because it is imperative that you understand this. There is no difference. They don't want to know us, and we pose a threat to power because we're unknown. We can kill them, and they won't let something coexist that can destroy them. Tell me that you understand this?"
"I understand," I whispered trying not to cry. "But I also need you to understand that I'm worried Zach."
Zach's eyes widened in confusion, "Worried about what Reenie?"
"I don't want to lose the people I care about." I whispered.
His eyelids fluttered closed and he stepped away from me letting my hands drop like rocks to my sides. "I promised I'd spare your family in Jennah. That no matter what happened no harm would come to them. Are you seeking asylum for this Benjamin and Maggie as well? They're a part of the Volturi, and my heart can only be so merciful."
That did it. Tears were streaming, but they weren't from worry anymore, they were from anger. Without a second thought I picked up the closest vase and launched it at his head. "You idiot!" He ducked and it hit the wall.
"Reenie!" He called in confusion but that didn't stop me from blurring across the room to find something else to throw at him. "Reenie stop!"
"You're so thick!" I declared picking up a small marble statue and throwing it. It missed him again, "Damn it Zach!"
"Reenie, the moon is upsetting you—" He tried to reason locking my hands into a death vise to keep me from throwing anything else. It had to have been the moon because he shouldn't have been stronger than me.
I fought anyway, "No you're upsetting me!" I swore trying to make him let go of my wrists. "Do you think they're all I care about? Do you think that Maggie, and Benjamin are my main concerns in this fight with the Volturi?"
He dropped my hands like my words stung him. "What?"
"Do you think that I can bear to lose Nina, Penelope that I want to see Melanie hurt? Do you think I haven't grown to care about Ray, Peter, and Daniel? Do you think I could live with myself—if I lost you?"
"Reenie…" He breathed in shock taking a step towards me in an attempt to console me.
I stepped back, "No, you don't get to touch me right now. Because apparently you don't think that I care about anything other than my old life."
My rejection didn't deter him, and he wrapped me in his arms. "I'm sorry okay…I'm sorry… I didn't think."
"No you didn't." I agreed resting my head on his chest letting his scent calm me. "Don't do that to me, I care about all of you."
"Nothing is going to happen to us Reenie," He promised once he made sure I wasn't angry anymore.
"You can't promise me that," I sniffled wiping my eyes not ready to release him.
He pulled back slightly, just enough for me to look up at him. "I can make that promise." He paused and let out a sigh, "Not that my word really means much right now. I'm being the worse complement in the world. I'm letting the moon get to you, making you cry—"
"Refusing me sex," I muttered to stop his self-castigation.
It worked, it made him chuckle a bit, "That too." He looked around the room and I frowned, "Don't worry about the mess, this time of the month things always manage to get broken."
I really didn't deserve him. "I'm sorry I'm such a horrible complement." I apologized. "I probably wouldn't be so difficult if I were human."
Zach shushed me, "If you were human you wouldn't be my Reenie."
"True," I agreed leaning up to kiss him. The kiss deepened but he didn't let it get too far. "Do you have to leave?"
"I'm afraid I do, but I'll be back." He promised letting me go. "Everyone is going to pretty much keep to themselves as much as they can considering how temperamental they are but you're welcome to go find my sister or one of the other girls. They usually have a pretty good handle on things."
I watched him go and then dutifully started cleaning up the mess I made.
When I finished I decided to wander around the castle and see what the others were up to. Most of the place was empty, like Zach had said. I ran into Nina and the girls sitting in the parlor upstairs, and apparently they could feel me before I made myself known.
"Ugh, that has to be Reenie!" Melanie groaned in discomfort when I walked around the corner.
Penelope rolled her eyes. "Don't be mean, she can't help it. Come join us Reenie."
"Hey guys," I smiled weakly sitting on the couch next to Nina.
She squirmed uncomfortably but remained polite. "Hey, you're still on edge I see."
"Nina," Penelope started, but gave up. Apparently the moon made her a bit less patient but she remained refined.
I felt like I needed to apologize, "Sorry. I'm still not used to this moon thing." I couldn't sense anything from them.
"It's okay, it takes time," Penelope encouraged playing with her pearl necklace and crossing her legs. "You haven't been a complement for long."
Nina nodded in agreement, and then her eyes widened looking at the pendant around my neck, "Is that the family moonstone?"
I nodded unable to read the emotion behind her reaction. "Zach gave it to me this morning, is that okay?"
"Is that okay?!" She spat sarcastically standing up from her seat, "Of course it's okay? I've been wondering when he was going to give it to you. He's never given that to anyone." She stressed locking her arms around me.
"He told me," I smiled wondering why she was so happy.
Melanie rolled her eyes. "I wouldn't celebrate so soon Nina, he may have given her the moonstone, but she's still on edge. Epically." Apparently the moon made her more blunt than normal, and I could see why some people would want to stay away from her around this time of the month, but for some reason I liked it.
"She's going to be my sister," Nina ignored her still hugging me, and jumping, all I could see were bouncy large red ringlets when I looked down. "I'm so excited I could hug you all day, but whew." She breathed fanning herself and moving away from me.
"Am I that bad?"
"It's a bit overwhelming," Penelope admitted kindly.
Melanie sucked her teeth dropping her magazine and spreading across the couch she was sitting on. "Overwhelming is an understatement. We love you, but we are drowning right now Reen."
"Really?" I grimaced, I didn't want to broadcast my emotions onto them too. "Well you three can sit together normally without bothering each other. How do you do it?"
Penelope kicked Melanie as subtly as she could to stop her from answering, "We've been friends for over a century. We know what each other are like during the moon phase and know how to not push each other's buttons. With practice, time, and outlets for our excess emotions we've managed to control it better."
"Don't worry, we have centuries to help you." Nina encouraged with a smile.
"Now I see why you guys do the kickboxing, and adrenaline activities." I admitted glad that they would help me adjust.
Melanie groaned covering her face with her magazine and let out a loud breath. Then yanked it off and sat up, "All the kickboxing in the world isn't going to help you Reenie. I'm not getting anger from you. You need to get laid, badly."
My mouth dropped open in shock.
Penelope threw her hands in the air in surrender, "I give up, she's has no couth—she's like an animal sometimes."
"We're werewolves Penelope, we are animals." Melanie droned like they'd had the discussion before.
"That doesn't mean we can't have a sense of civility," Penelope argued, heat flashing in her face.
"Guys," Nina cautioned, "Let's not let the moon get us too carried away. It'll set a bad example."
Melanie just shook her head in agreement. "Nina's right Penelope, you're not even mad at me. You like the fact that I don't have a filter, you're just overwhelmed because you're dealing with Reenie's feelings on top of your own."
I looked to Penelope to see if it were true but she just shrieked and stalked out of the room swearing in Italian. It was the most unrefined thing I'd ever seen her do.
"Go apologize," Nina instructed her friend pointing at the door.
Melanie shook her head and shrugged. "She's fine, you know it isn't me."
"I know, but go talk to her." Nina insisted and I could feel her eyes on me. I didn't dare to take my eyes off of my hands.
Melanie let out a deep breath, "I'm sorry Reenie, I love you to death but until you and Zach get whatever you have going on under control I'm going to have to take you in small doses."
"I understand," I whispered trying my best to not be offended by her truth. Her honesty was something I valued in our friendship. "Sorry."
"You better be going to talk to Penelope," Nina called after her as she left the parlor.
Melanie's heels clicked faster, "Nope, I'm going to find my husband and screw his brains out which is probably what prim and proper Penelope is doing too."
Nina and I snickered finding her honesty funny, but it only lasted a second before I was sad again. "I made them fight…"
"No, not really. It's a hazard of the moon. They're fine, it isn't a real argument." Nina promised trying to comfort me as best she could while keeping her distance.
"But I didn't help any," I argued.
Though I'd only known Nina a few weeks, I knew her well enough to know that as much as she didn't want to make me feel bad, she'd never outright lie to me either. "You are pretty tense—" She admitted biting her lip in contemplation. "I'm going to ask something, and you can either answer or not."
"Go on," I encouraged straightening the hem of my dress before looking up at her.
She let out a 'here goes nothing' breath and let it spill. "My brother— he gave you the necklace, so I know he's serious about all of this, and you accepted it—so you have to feel some way about him too—so why haven't you—you know?" She didn't say it, most likely because she sense my shyness, but she clapped her hands together once to catch her drift even though I already got it.
"I tried," I admitted feeling humiliated by the rejection. "I'll admit I was hesitant at first, but it seems like the minute I want to his flip switched and he didn't anymore. He says he thinks it's just the moon and he doesn't want to sleep with me and I regret it later."
Nina rolled her eyes, rubbing her temples in tiny circles. "That isn't how it works Reenie. The moon doesn't create feelings out of nowhere. It just brings out the ones that we try to repress. Take Penelope for instance— any other time of the month she's this polished Victorian that still morally lives in the 1800s. Do you think that the genteel person doesn't want to smack someone upside the head every now and then? She does, but she's wired to not react or it lowers herself to their level.
That's why Melanie and her are best friends, because Melanie is liberated enough to say the things that she won't and Penelope admires that. Now, with the moon as much as she tries to suppress it, her sophisticated heir goes out the window. Now, all of the polishing, training and 1800s breeding is really just gives her the ability to curse you out in several languages instead of just English."
I giggled at her joke, feeling a tad bit better. Nina had the ability to help me understand the werewolf traits easier than Zach, who just chalked everything up to the moon or, that happens. "You mean to tell me Mel is actually trying to have a filter the rest of the month?"
"Scary right?" Nina nodded with a 'tell me about it' expression.
"Well, what about you, you seem the same." I frowned.
Nina just shrugged, "I'm more like Zach in a way. I choose to embrace my inner werewolf all throughout the month. If I'm feeling something I say it. If I want to jump up and hug you I'll do it. Now I still get the increased libido and agitation which I channel thorough various outlets, but overall I think it makes it easier for me to handle the cycles."
"You like your wolf side," I picked up, in no way asking a question.
She nodded with a kind smile, "I do. Once you get past the pain of transformation, it's emancipating, I wish you could feel all of the freedom that comes with it."
"So, you're yourself—when you change."
She nodded, "Yes and no. We have a conscious mind where we can make decisions and choices but pleasure and liberation are our main focuses. We do whatever we want sometimes before we even know that we want it."
"Has anyone ever gotten hurt in the process? Someone human or another wolf?"
She took a minute before answering but she was honest, "There are times when people get hurt in our pursuit for freedom, but we try to stay away from humans all together during the change. We are the most complicating yet simple creatures I'd ever come across. If we ever do anything in our wolf forms that we might regret once were human again, we have the ability to remove it from our thoughts. We can't handle guilt very well so it forces us to be apathetic in a way. With all of the stress and fatigue that our bodies go through every month it makes us more susceptible to psychological breakdowns. Those are terrible holes to fight your way out of, because if they're triggered, all of our guilt comes rushing back at once and the pain that comes with it. "
My eyes widened in fear, I felt sorry for them. "Does that happen a lot?"
Nina thought back, "No, the last one was almost ten years ago with Zach. My nephew Grey was killed trying to retrieve his complement and Zach lost it, took him five years to return to somewhat normal. He still swore off continuing the race, finding a complement, hell women all together. He didn't want a part of anything that could potentially lead to more pain." She shuddered, trying to shake off the memory then smiled at me and clapped a hand on my knee. "But then he found you, and all that changed. So I am forever in your debt, Reenie."
I tried to clear my mind on the thought of Zach having children, and the pain that he must have endured to lose one—finding it surprisingly easy to do so. "Does that bad emotion eraser thing get passed on to complements too?"
"You are a part of Zach, so yes it does." She confirmed but then saddened, "Which also means, if an emotion is ever too much—"
"I'll go crazy," I guessed.
Nina's eyebrows furrowed, "I wasn't supposed to tell you that"
"Well thank you for being honest," I put on my best smile. "We are going to be sisters after all.
Nina couldn't help but smile back. "Oh Reenie, you already are my sister. Don't worry, none of us will let you feel anything other than happy," She promised standing up. "Now, I have to go find Penelope and Melanie to make sure they made up, might I suggest you find a book in the library to entertain yourself."
I knew it was just a polite way for her to excuse herself, since she'd reached her limit on how much of my extra weight that she could take, but a book didn't seem like such a bad idea. "Sure, I'll catch you later."
She nodded and with a wave of her hand she off to herself.
—
About a hundred pages into a James Patterson novel, I felt that irritated push that came from someone staring at me.
I looked up suspecting Zach, but instead was met with the cold blue eyes of Jinny.
"Is Zach out of his meeting?" I asked closing my book, waiting for her to say something.
She didn't say anything, only nodded, her eyes frosty, and I could feel her hostility.
Instead of getting angry I stood up, returned the book to the shelf and headed for the door. "Good, I'll go find him."
She grabbed my arm, tightly halting my plans. "Is that Zach's moonstone?"
I stared at the hand locked around my arm above the elbow, it didn't hurt, but it angered me that Zach's ex-girlfriend thought she could touch me. I could take all of her verbal assaults, but grabbing me was something different entirely. "Yes— it is. Now drop your hand."
Jinny didn't drop her hand, she just continued to stare at me with a mixture of emotions. Anger, confusion, pain, sadness, and a bunch of other ones that I couldn't explain.
My anger minutely lessened, because I felt sorry for her, I couldn't imagine how Zach and her history affected her. "Look, Jinny, maybe you should talk to Zach if you're upset about something, but you need to let me go."
I tried to pull away again, but her grip tightened her free hand clenching into a fist. Her eyes still drilling into me with questions she wouldn't say. "Jinny let go." I demanded a tad more forceful, a part of me hoping that seeing the moonstone on me wasn't sending her into one of those psychotic breakdowns Nina explained.
A part of me knew I was strong enough to pull away from her and leave by force, and I should before it escalated into a physical confrontation, but then another part of me—the side that she was an asshole to— braced herself for the strike so that I'd have a legitimate excuse to kick her but up and down this place.
So I waited, and just when I thought she was going to hit me, she metaphorically knocked me on my ass by doing the opposite. She kissed me!
It was a hard, forceful, assault that was nowhere near what a kiss should be like. My muffled protest of 'stop' was muted by her moving lips when she grabbed my chin in an attempt to hold me in place. Waiting for her to finish was out of the question so without any other option, I just locked my lips shut, opened my hand a slapped her hard across the face.
I stared at her with utter confusion and her expression seemed to mirror mine. She touched her face where my red hand print pulsed and swiftly turned on her heels, exiting the library without so much as a word let alone an explanation. She just left!
Why would she do that? She hated me— I knew that for a fact. Was it the moon? Was it me overwhelming her? Was it to be funny? How could that be funny? Was it because she knew I'd tell Zach? Why would she want to piss off Zach?
Then my blood flashed hot, and I didn't care about the why, only the end result. I was violated and I was livid. "I'm going to kill her!" I swore after I gave up on processing, blurring out of the library into the direction she went in.
Unfortunately I ran smack into Zach and Nina. Damn not being able to smell werewolves. Zach caught me before I could knock Nina over. "Careful love, what's got you all upset?"
I was too mad to explain what happened, but I did manage to pass on my agenda. "I am going to kill her!"
"Who's her?" Zach asked confused.
Nina being a woman who had common sense had no trouble picking up who her was. "What did Jinny say to you?"
"She didn't say anything," I snapped trying to move aside.
Zach raked a hand though his hair, frustrated, "Damn it, what did she do now? I'll take care of Jinny, but you need to calm down."
"Calmisn'tgoingtohappen,Zach!" I shrieked in a flurry of words.
It took Nina and Zach to halt me this time. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, Zach, you take care of Reenie. I'll go find Jinny, because she's about to lose it."
The moment Jinny disappeared Zach had both hands on the sides of my head forcing me to stare into his eyes. He kissed me passionately to get my attention, but once he had it he started breathing. "Reenie, you need to breathe… Forget about Jinny and whatever she did… Trust me… trust that I will take care of it…trust that I am here and everything will be better…trust that I love you…"
I breathed with him, listening to his words, and almost like magic I believed him and Jinny was no longer my focus. It was weird, I could still remember what happened with crystal clarity, and if I wanted to I could still feel her lips pressing against mine, but I didn't want to—I didn't care.
"Good…" Zach encouraged taking my hand again. "Now, do you want to talk about it?"
I shook my head. "I don't want to give her more room in my head than she deserves. I want to go out. I haven't eaten in days."
"Alright," He smiled taking my hand, and leading me to the bedroom. We only stayed in long enough for him to grab my coat and his. "Let's go out."
"Can we go dancing too?" I added following him downstairs with my custom made grey wool coat in my hand.
Zach nodded, "Whatever will make you happy, Reenie."
"I can't find Jinny," Nina apologized giving us a puzzled look when she saw Zach helping me into my coat. "Where are you guys going?"
"We're going for dinner and dancing," I beamed.
Nina gave her brother a worried look, "Zach, were in a Gibbous moon, I don't think that's a good idea."
"Reenie wants to go out, we're going out." He declared simply shrugging into his coat. "You need to get some sense into Jinny before I do, she wants to have some fun and this is a way that there's time for both. Trust me, I'll take care of her."
"I trust him," I added for good measure grabbing his hand and practically pulling him out of the door.
Zach just grinned, and let me lead him, "She trusts me."
—
Dining with Zach on a full moon was interesting to say the least. He drove me into Moscow, and the minute we walked into the restaurant everyone's head turned. I wasn't sure if it was the charisma, or the fact that he'd been there numerous occasions that got us seated at the five start restaurant without an invitation, but it happened.
Throughout our meal I caught people staring at us—mainly women— and the occasional guy would approach us and introduce himself with a firm handshake and light conversation. The owner even surfaced from the back to greet him, tell him how grateful he was for the patronage and compliment him on his lovely date for the evening. Needless to say I was impressed.
It wasn't until he was helping me out of my coat at the club that I even noticed a potential problem. Once he handed our coats to the attendant the crowd seemed to part like the red sea for us all the way to the VIP lounge.
Women noticed him, really noticed him but I took comfort in the fact that Zach never took his eyes off of me. He ordered us several drinks which I willingly took, and danced with me for as many songs as I wanted to— this time a lot less chaste than the last time he took my clubbing.
He refused to dance to the Ke$ha song that followed but promised that there would be a drink waiting for me at our table when I finished. I happily let the music move my limbs until about halfway through the song, I opened my eyes hoping to catch a glimpse of Zach watching me, but instead I saw him, talking to a woman in a black mini dress so tight and small that I doubted it'd fit Alice. I mean it was winter for heaven's sake!
Reading his body language, he was turning her down for whatever she was propositioning, but it sure as hell didn't stop her from trying.
She slid in next to him, sitting her drink on the table, her blonde waves obstructing her face from my view. I flashed hot when her hand not so casually ran along his shoulder and even though he removed it, I started trying to get off the crowded dance floor.
My plan was to territorially pull him onto the dance floor, with me leaving her alone, but as I got close, and realized that not only could my heighted senses feel the heat radiating from her towards Zach but also smell her arousal that I saw red and aborted my more tactful plan. I wasn't normally a jealous person, but the only thing racing through my mind at the time was that Zach was Mine!
The minute I reached the table I wordlessly picked up my drink and tossed it on her much to both of their surprise.
"What the—?!"
Even Zach was shocked, "Reenie!"
I grabbed her wrist using everything I could to restrain myself as I pulled her from the booth giving her flashes of everything my mind wanted to do to her along with a warning, "Leave, and don't look at him again if you know what's good for you."
The woman's eyes widened wondering what the hell she just saw, and much to my annoyance Zach started apologizing profusely handing her money he didn't even count saying that it was for her dry-cleaning. Then like a child he grabbed me by the arm and pulled me through the crowd and out of the club.
"What was that for?" I snapped once he pulled me into an alley to keep me from making a scene.
Zach ran a frustrated hand though his hair, "Reenie, you aren't supposed to show anyone your talents you know that."
"She was making a pass at you!" I defended, wondering how I was the one in trouble.
Zach shrugged, "Did you see me welcome any advances?"
"You weren't exactly stiff arming her either," I muttered crossing my arms, accusatory.
"That's because causing a scene isn't going to help anything. It isn't her fault, the pheromones I give off are working overtime so close to the full moon." He explained. "You'll get used to it."
"I don't want to get used to it, you're mine!" I hissed pushing him against the side of the building and claiming his lips with my own.
He didn't fight me, instead pulling me closer to him, and I welcomed it, wanting my scent to overpower the traces of perfume her contact with him left behind.
Before we got carried away again he stopped the kiss, breathless. This time I left him breathless! "I didn't know you had the ability to be possessive. Don't get me wrong, it's a turn on, but I'll have to be more careful with you."
"Don't forget it," I threatened, letting him free from the wall.
I caught a whiff of something that smelled nice and I started climbing the ledges of the buildings between the alleys so that I could see where it was coming from.
"Where are you going?" Zach called watching me leap from ledge to ledge.
"I'm hungry," I explained pulling myself onto the roof.
Zach just jumped to the ladder on the fire escape and climbed up. "We already ate at the restaurant."
"I'm not hungry for French Toast," I clarified jumping across the gaps following the smile, but keeping a slow pace so that he could follow.
A few blocks down I caught the scent stronger, and I halted on the roof top watching the man as he walked down the street. I stalked him from above as he went into an all-night corner store to buy cigarettes and come back out. When he passed back by my building I decided to make my move.
Dropping down as fast as I could I silently landed behind him grabbing him forcefully by his coat and quickly forcing him into the alley. I sunk my teeth into his jugular before he could scream or even realized what was happening.
You never realized how cold you were until you let the blood from a feed warm you. He tasted rich and tangy, but there was a savory flavor that seemed to be only unique to him. I tried to slow my draining process, wanting to savor him and make it last, but I was interrupted—"
"Dad, where'd you go?" A brown haired girl probably about twelve or thirteen and out way too late, wondered passing the alley and pausing at the scene she just stumbled upon. Her mind wasn't allowing her to process, shock just making her repeat, "Dad—Daddy?"
I dropped my kill to the cement, focusing on her heartbeat racing. Shock kept her from screaming for help but it didn't stop the rushing of blood in her veins. With the fear and adrenaline kicking up in her body I could detect the same scent of tangy and savory and I wanted it.
A snarl ripped through my chest and I went to leap for her, only being stopped by Zach snapping my arms behind my back. "Leave now, and forget what you've seen." Zach ordered harshly tightening the grip as much as he could.
"Zach let me go," I snarled still trying to get at her.
"No Reenie, you won't be able to live with yourself if you hurt her." But even he couldn't hold me back forever, and since she was too afraid to move he was more forceful, "Go! Now!"
The girl did as he said, running, but I made the mistake of looking into her eyes before she did and it snapped me out of my haze. I stared at the body, and back at the street. "What did I do?"
"Reenie, calm down…" Zach started carefully.
"What did I do?" I repeated. I just killed a father, in front of his daughter and almost ate her too. And like a thousand trucks smacking me at once, it hit me. "Oh my God! I'm a monster."
Zach was at my side, "Reenie, you need to breathe…. It's okay."
"No it's not okay! None of this is okay! How can you say it's okay?!" I demanded backing away, keeping him from touching me.
Zach tried to choose his words carefully, "It's alright… remember what I said about it being a cycle. Just breathe and clear your mind, and you'll forget it. It'll get easier I promise."
"I don't want killing people to get easier!" I snapped running my hand in my hair and tears running down my face. "I don't want it, oh god I don't want any of it!"
He reached for me again, and I blurred away from him and down the opposite end of the alley. Flashes of my past feeds replayed in my mind as I ran down the street and I could see their fear, feel their pain and I wanted no part of it.
When I was far enough away I stopped at a payphone, my life in Jennah seemed like ages ago, and as much as I wanted to remember everything, my mind was too occupied with the people I've killed. The people I wanted to kill and it took all of my concentration to dial the only number I could remember.
"Hello…" A tense and careful voice answered on the other end, and to much relief I recognized it.
"I need help." I cried trying to process thoughts outside of the pain I'd caused.
The voice was urgent but relieved, "Nessie? Is that you? Of course we'll help you, just tell us where you are."
My mind couldn't remember where I was, either that or I didn't want to. "I don't know." I cried looking around. "I wanna go home, please take me home Grandpa."
"Nessie, I promise you, we will help you, but we need to find where you are." Carlisle promised with an unbreakable vow.
"The yellow how— Uspenskoe—" I remembered as best I could. Crying too much to make sense.
The eyes of the little girl flashed in front of me again, and I dropped the phone. I could still hear him calling for me, but everything hurt and I didn't want to talk anymore, I just wanted to run and escape. So I did.
Distracted, I bolted back the way I came, and ran smack into Zach. He ignored the people on the street wondering how I just materialized out of nowhere focused only on me. "Reenie…"
"Zach.. it hurts Zach…" I repeated wondering why his arms weren't giving me the comfort they always did.
"Reenie, you have to breathe." He instructed feeling pained by my turmoil. I was hurting him too. I was hurting everyone I came in contact with. He didn't wait much longer before he picked me up in his arms carrying me back in the direction of the car.
"What happened?" Ray demanded following us as Zach carried me up the stairs and into our room.
"She almost killed a little girl, and it got to her." Zach explained hurriedly.
I didn't remember getting home, just the faces of the people I killed, and my family's faces when I left them, and the look of pain on Zach's face now.
"She's breaking," Nina informed wrapping a blanket around me once Zach sat me on the bed. "You've got to get her to breathe."
Zach snapped at her, "I've tried that Nina. It isn't working."
"Then she's too far gone, you've gotta reinforce your connection." Ray insisted.
Zach stood up, torn. "I've already marked her once. There has to be another way. She'll hate me if I give her another scar."
"Zach, now isn't the time to worry about her vanity." Nina snapped back. "Do you want Reenie to fall into the same spiral you did when we lost Grey?"
He flinched, "Of course not, but I'm supposed to be helping her, not leaving marks all over her skin like property."
"Zach, if you don't do it, you'll lose the connection all together." Ray added backing up his wife.
Zach still was torn.
I could barely feel Nina's hands on my hand, or her words trying to comfort me, and I don't know what I said, but whatever it was made Nina say something that would make him react. "Zachariah, she is my sister and I won't let her suffer. So if you don't fix this, I'll get Ray to do it."
Ray's eyes widened, and Zach's did too. I wanted to feel happy that she'd care enough to make Ray pick me as a permanent complement even though I knew how hard complements were for them— but I didn't want Ray, I wanted Zach.
"Please Zach, make it stop…" I begged crying, trying to get the screams and fearful faces out of my head.
Zach kissed my forehead and lowered the side of my dress where the bite still sat on the back of my shoulder. "I'm going to make it go away Reenie, I love you…" He promised, and lining his lips up ever so carefully with the mark already there, his teeth sunk into my flesh.
I could feel heat rush through slowly and Nina took my hand, "Now, you need to breathe Reenie…" She instructed making me mimic her movements.
Zach's teeth stayed, and he gripped me tighter so that I didn't move. I took deep breaths, and like magic the voices and the faces disappeared, and I felt tired.
Zach caught me, and lifted me up to the pillows so that I could sleep. Barely in my rest I could hear them still talking.
"That was a low blow Nina," Zach chastised.
Nina was un apologetic, "It was what you needed."
He didn't argue, instead he only said, "Thank you."
—
When I woke up, everything from the night before felt like a nightmare. The type of dream you knew was a scary but couldn't remember why. And why would you want to?
Zach wasn't in bed, but I did turn over to a note written in his handwriting.
Gone to do reconnaissance with the others. Know that my
heart aches every moment that were separated.
Forever yours,
Zach
Nina came in to check on me once I'd showered and changed, and she was glad to see that I was indeed fine. Apparently I scared her quite a bit. We sat and talked for hours, keeping each other company since our partners wouldn't be back until the following morning.
I confided in her about my feelings on the upcoming battles and we spent a large part of the night in our pajamas while she ate junk, and promised that there was nothing for us to worry about.
A little after midnight, was when things went crazy.
I went downstairs to get more sugar and came back up to find Nina on her knees and behind held down by my dad and mom, with my best friend dangerously close to ripping her head off.
"Oh my god stop!" I demanded fearing for her life.
My dad was crushing me in an embrace before the door shut behind me along with my mom, and I could tell that if they could cry, they would be doing so. "Nessie." My mom breathed grateful.
"Mom.. Dad…" I breathed, honestly comforted to see them but confused. "You found me?"
My dad kissed my forehead and inspected me, making sure I was real, "Of course we found you, you silly girl. We'll always find you." He swore.
"We've come to rescue you," my mom added, like she'd be there for any other reason.
"I don't need rescuing…" My thoughts trailed. My reunion was interrupted by the fact that Asima still had her hand clasped over Nina's mouth in no way letting up on the grip of her head.
"Asima let her go," I demanded.
My best friends green eyes blazed wild with confusion. "If I let her go, she's going to scream and alert everyone in this place that we're here. And what do you mean you don't need rescuing?"
"You're coming home…" My father demanded, his grip around me tight, but not enough to hurt.
I looked to Nina who was desperately trying to tell me with her eyes not to leave. But I cared about her, and she was like family now so I wouldn't let her get hurt if I could help it. "Okay, I'll come back, but you have to promise me you won't hurt her."
"No way." Asima refused ready to wrench her head from her body.
And I had to plead, "Asima, she's my sister, don't!"
She stared at me like I'd lost my mind but then looked at my father, the two of them having a mental exchange that no one else was invited too. I watched as Nina's eyes flickered repeatedly until they shut, and when Asima released her she collapsed to the floor, "Fine, she's asleep, but I don't know how long it'll last this close to the full moon."
"Thank you." I sighed but I started to feel myself get sleepy too. "What are you doing?"
"Sorry, but you're not the safest right now." Asima apologized, and I could feel my dad grab me before sleep took me.