A/N: Yo! So a few quick things before we get this show on the road:
1) I have a full-time summer job, so updates will be even more sporadic than usual and for that I am extremely sorry. I love writing this story so much and I have up to chapter 7 written, it just takes a while to go through and edit it.
2) This is the unedited version of this chapter; I'll probably make changes to it as far as flow and a few other things go later on and repost this chapter, but there shouldn't be any significant changes.
3)The chapters are going to eventually get longer, I hope; sorry that this one is so short!
4) And lastly, I just want to say thank you so much for all the reviews and the alerts that I've received so far; I'm so honored to have so many people like my story so much and I wish I could properly express how happy you make me!
Sorry for the long A/N but it was necessary! I hope you enjoy the chapter and don't be afraid to drop your thoughts at the end!
Disclaimer: I do not own FMA
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Chapter 4
The entirety of Riza's body fought against the alertness that began to urge her eyelids to open. Her head ached with the pulse of her blood, but it wasn't crippling, and she pulled her blankets over her head and stifled the childish impulse to moan in protest. Her thoughts were more lucid this morning than they were last night and she knew exactly what this daybreak would bring.
She remained huddled under her sheets for ten minutes before the anxiety of this particular day worked into her system and she silently threw back the covers before rising from her bed and changing clothes. Rebecca groaned loudly in her sleep and turned over onto her stomach as Riza slipped into her boots and fastened her hair in a clip. It was still chilly so she tried to make little noise as possible as she donned her jacket and left the room.
As soon as she left the residential hallway, the noises were loud, rooms and halls filled with hurried talk as people scuttled around with their morning chores. The sun twinkled in through the dusty windows and Riza kindly stepped around the bustling bodies on her way to the assignment board near the check-in desk.
Many people offered her a smile or a good morning and she returned them with as much brightness as she could muster despite the situation. A frown fell across her face when she saw that she hadn't been slotted for any assignments that morning; instead, across the row on her name for the week, today was labeled: "seek instruction from O. Armstrong."
What the hell was Olivier going to be able to tell her that couldn't be written on her assignment board?
In a confused daze, she wandered into the dining hall and ate breakfast alone in the corner. It took a bit of strength to conjure up an appetite since the anxiety was squeezing at her stomach, but she knew she had to eat after the night she had. The coffee, at least, was easy to drink, and she had two cups black before clearing her dishes into the kitchen boy's bucket and leaving.
"Hawkeye!" A voice called for her as she was going up the stairs to the main floor. She looked up to see Armstrong standing there in her crisp uniform, harsh and unsmiling, blonde hair curling at the ends. "I will need you in my office in an hour."
"Yes, sir," Riza responded acutely. Olivier nodded and stalked off, no doubt to make sure she had others in line. Being the second highest up in the chain of command couldn't be a walk in the park, especially catering to the Commander's whims, and it made Riza's stomach twist nervously. If she was to seek instruction from Armstrong, then that meant she'd also have to deal with the Commander.
With an internal groan, she decided to visit the shooting range and practice a bit before receiving whatever assignment Olivier would have for her in an hour. The room was silent when she arrived, save for a single pair of footsteps that echoed against the walls. Riza selected a short-range weapon and grabbed a headset to protect her ears. When she turned around to approach a stall, she was only partially surprised to see Havoc with his own equipment in hand.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice more confused than she felt.
He turned around, startled, and then laughed when he saw her. "Oh, hey, Hawkeye. You should know better than to sneak up on a man with a loaded gun."
She resisted the urge to snort at him. "I wasn't sneaking. It's not my fault you don't pay attention to your surroundings. Are you going to answer my question or not?"
Shaking his head, he loaded a cartridge into the gun with a smile and then placed the weapon on the table. "I was told to be in Armstrong's office in an hour and I thought I'd kill some time."
Her eyes blinked at him. "What?"
He nodded. "I know, it sure beats the hell out of me."
She couldn't help but stare at him for a moment, trying to process. What could Armstrong - no, it was the Commander pulling the strings here, not her - possibly want with Havoc? It made sense to call in Riza since he had her on a damn leash, but to also take Havoc in increased her anxiety level just thinking about it. Whatever Grumman was planning, it wasn't going to be like before, and it seemed that Riza wasn't the only one getting swept up into his game.
"Hey, you feeling okay?" Havoc asked, watching as her face paled.
She put her gear down on the table and nodded a little too vigorously. "I'm fine."
His eyes narrowed. "I know you better than that, Riza. Speaking of which, I want to know what happened last night. You don't just get lost in thought."
The change in conversation wasn't exactly welcome. Surely she couldn't reveal to him what had happened; her heart thumped hard against her chest just thinking about the man with the dark hair and the kind eyes and the understanding on his face. She wanted to keep Roy a secret, not because she was ashamed or embarrassed, but because she had been an idiot, and to dwell on him would be to dwell on the surge of incoherent emotion that he'd created the night before.
"I just got a drink at the bar," she said smoothly, meeting his eyes to appear truthful. She had the best poker face. "I wanted to be alone."
He frowned at her. "You're always alone, Hawkeye, and I get that you just aren't fond of crowds but I gotta wonder. Doesn't that ever get lonely? Being by yourself all the time?" His blue eyes bore into her and she found it difficult to return the gaze and not look away.
"Of course not." Her lies were impeccable. "That's when I'm at my best."
Havoc still didn't look convinced, and she wondered what he could possibly thinking, when he suddenly smiled. "Well, alright, I suppose. As long as you're happy. You up for a little target practice?"
She rolled her eyes and allowed her teeth to flash from between her lips. "I thought you'd never ask."
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The two of them crossed the threshold of Olivier Armstrong's office exactly one hour later. She was on the phone, talking tersely and in a brash manner with her eyebrows drawn in deeply. Havoc was hopeless, grinning at her and making hearts at her with his eyes the second the door closed behind them.
Could he be any more of an idiot? Riza thought good-naturedly. The knots in her stomach began to twist tighter as Armstrong put the phone back in its cradle and looked up at them severely. Though it was an awful thing to think, Riza knew that she'd be twenty times less anxious if she was out on a field mission and not in Grumman's second commanding officer's office in that moment.
"Commander Grumman is on a train heading toward East City right now and for whatever forsaken reason, he has requested both of you as his personal bodyguards for the duration of his stay here in my compound," Olivier said pointedly, looking caustic. Her eyes flashed when she looked at Havoc and her scowl deepened.
"He requested me?" Havoc said incredulously, blinking at her dumbly. Riza felt something hot and angry growing inside of her, resisting the urge to clench her fists. What the hell did Grumman want Havoc for? The two men knew each other since Havoc was such a close friend to Riza - and given their intimate history - but the Commander had hardly paid attention to him. It frustrated her that she couldn't figure Grumman out; even more that he was roping her only precious people into whatever twisted plans he was concocting.
"That's what I said, Havoc, now pick your jaw up off the ground." Armstrong growled, standing up and leaning over her desk with her palms flat on the wooden surface. She was pulled tight; the tension in her shoulders and the stiffness in her back were easy to spot and Riza took a moment to appreciate Olivier for what she did. It couldn't be easy running the eastern compound, especially under Grumman's command.
"But I'm not even the second best shot here," he protested, still in shock.
"Precision isn't what Grumman is looking for," Armstrong informed him. Her eyes slid sideways at Riza. "He picked someone Hawkeye trusted. He may be hard to understand, but he's got his reasons. Both of you are to take a town vehicle into East City and pick him up at the train station immediately. He will have other guards with him, but they have their own orders. Do you understand?"
"Yes, sir," Havoc and Riza responded in unison, giving her a little salute. Riza turned to leave the office, pushing down the welling panic at her situation - Grumman's personal bodyguard! He was going to drive her mad! What made him think this was a good idea? - when Olivier's voice came out less harsh, and she paused.
"I want to make this clear right now that I do not make it a habit of mine to get involved with lower ranking members of the Resistance for casual fun," she said. When Riza turned around, Armstrong's eyes were fixed solidly on Havoc, who's face had to have been going up in flames. "Understood?"
Havoc nodded too enthusiastically and Riza murmured her understanding before she walked out of the office with him stumbling along behind her. They shut the door and then began to make their way to the parking lot; Riza tried not to think about what they were going to do. It made it easier to take each step. After strapping various guns and holsters to their bodies, they entered the garage, dodging around the people working busily to prepare for the VIP they were about to pick up.
"She basically just shot me down, didn't she?" Havoc sighed as they chose the blue town car, different from last night's vehicle.
Riza was grateful for this conversation; thinking about Grumman was something she could not do but talking about Havoc's lady problems was. "I don't know about that," she said, trying to be hopeful.
"I still want to tell her." He started the engine.
She crossed her arms over her chest. "Then you should."
"But I should wait a while so it's not so weird."
"If that's what you think."
He looked at her from the corner of his eye as the car bumped along the dirt road. "Last night you told me to let time do its thing."
She shrugged, trying for nonchalance. "I just think you should be happy." There was nothing more she wanted for Havoc than for him to be happy; she could even say that his happiness meant more to her than her own.
A strained chuckle slipped through his lips. "You would say that." His eyes suddenly flashed to her and he offered something of a smile. "I'm sorry about the assignment." She sighed and nodded. He knew that she wasn't fond of her grandfather - she'd made that very clear, even to Grumman himself.
"I'm sorry you got pulled into this," she responded, folding and unfolding her hands in her lap. Staring at her fingers, she felt a rush of warmth as she remembered last night, shaking Roy's hand in what was meant to be a quick show of appreciation. Now, the action had caused repercussions that nagged at her, piling on top of the anxiety she already had. She barely knew him; why was it he kept popping up in her thoughts every ten minutes?
"I'm not," Havoc told her. "It confuses the hell out of me, but the closer I am to you, the better I'll feel. I trust in your feelings enough to not trust Grumman in the slightest." He didn't look at her, instead staring ahead at the road with his focused eyes. She wondered if that was fair to him; that her dislike and distrust of the Commander was also eroding Havoc's judgment, but Havoc was a grown man, and it was likely that the less he trusted Grumman, the less disappointment he would face.
"So you are basically going to be using me as a monitor," she said with a slight twitch of humor in her voice.
"Basically," he grinned.
They were silent for the rest of the trip into the city and Riza's mind went in circles from Grumman to last night. She wanted to forget both, but they were obstinate and stubborn and could not be removed. It could almost account for torture though her memories of last night were not all that horrible, though what had gone through her mind was terrifying to consider.
The streets were more crowded today; the sun shone and lit the crowds in buttery tones with a breeze that for once promised summer. People bustled about, especially closer to the train station on the west side of the city, and the weather seemed to be affecting their general demeanor.
Riza may have been the only one whose mood did not fit the atmosphere, and the closer they got to the station, the lower she sank in her seat and the tighter her fists became. By the time they finally pulled into a parking stall, Havoc had a cigarette dangling from his mouth and she was glaring hard out the windshield.
"Do you have any more?" she asked, as she turned to look pointedly at the stick of tobacco.
He rolled his eyes. "You hate smoking."
"I hate that we are here even more."
Opening the door, he sighed, "No, I don't have anymore."
She followed his lead. "Liar."
After shutting their doors, he came around to meet her by the corner of the engine with a smirk. "It's for your own good, Hawkeye."
For her own good. She thought that keening at the top of her lungs and bolting from the scene was also for her own good. That did not mean it was going to happen. "Since when do you know what's best for me?" she countered grumpily. Each step they took toward the doors of the station made her feet feel like lead; she couldn't seem to get quite enough purchase from the concrete. It was like she was walking on quicksand.
"I've been your friend for eight years," he retorted, "I think I know a thing or two about you."
She fell into a disgruntled silence and Havoc's arm brushed her elbow as they closed the space between them to avoid colliding into other people in the crowd. When they got to the docking station, people were exiting the gaping side of the train in a flood of fabric and chatter. Her stomach was a knot of anxiety and dread as her keen eyes searched the nameless faces. Time stopped when her eyes caught on the gray hair and the reflection off his glasses. Blood rushed in her ears. How she'd give anything to be anywhere but here!
It took him longer to spot her and Havoc longer than it had taken her, and she invisibly cringed when his eyes met hers and he smiled. There was nothing wrong with the smile and it seemed genuine enough so why did her stomach turn at the curl of his lips?
Havoc spat his cigarette out and snubbed it under his boot before giving Commander Grumman a salute. The old man looked entertained by this, flanked on either side by Resistance members dressed for inconspicuousness. "At ease, Mr. Havoc, before people start staring."
"Right, sorry, sir." Havoc looked flustered, trying to please the Commander, and Riza would have laughed at the expression on his face if she wasn't so terribly uncomfortable herself.
Grumman turned to his granddaughter, his teeth shining from under his mustache, before he turned to tell his companions that they were no longer needed and that they were to find their own way to the compound. It went without saying that they'd have to be sneaky about it.
Once they were dispersed, Grumman threw and arm around Riza's shoulder and began to lead her out of the train station, Havoc following behind with a certain amount of awkwardness in his step.
"There's my favorite girl!" Grumman said with a chuckle, being boisterous with the affectionate tone in his voice.
"It's really good to see you again!" Riza lied with enthusiasm. However hard she tried, she couldn't quite manage to make the smile on her face feel natural.
"Did you miss me?" he countered gracefully as Havoc opened the backseat of the car.
"Of course!" She would have to wash her mouth out with soap when they got back to the compound.
She slammed his door shut once he was in and the smile dropped from her face as she and Havoc climbed into their front seats. The car rumbled to life under them and Grumman chuckled, leaning forward in his seat. Riza kept her eyes stubbornly to the front.
"You've either improved on your acting skills or you are genuinely happy to see me. I'm not sure which one is more likely than the other."
She almost snorted in disbelief. "If the mystery is going to keep you up at night, I'll be more than happy to tell you which it is."
"Oh calm down, Riza, there's no need to do this verbal fencing so early on."
It took all her strength not to grit her teeth and she took several deep breaths to try and relax the tension in her shoulders. She leaned back against the seat and closed her eyes, feeling Havoc dart a look at her as he began to steer their vehicle out of town.
"You're right," she murmured stubbornly. "I apologize."
Though she couldn't see, she could feel it that he was smiling. For the entire ride back to the compound she listened to Grumman make small talk with Havoc - they were discussing some sports team, of all things - and let her mind wander to something pleasant.
It was disturbing that the only thing she could manage to think of was how she'd met Roy last night.