I didn't realise how long it had been since I had updated and I'm sorry. I will try and update much quicker from now on. Just a couple of things I know people are like he's been in the hospital for ages, but after what happened I dont think like a week is ages, its just because I didnt really skip over a lot of time in the day that it dragged out. Also they needed to stay there so Malcolm could hijack their room;) Alsooo I know Ana seems a bit moany in this but I guess if I was her I would be in such a state sooo I decided to leave it as it was. Thankyou so so so so so much for the reviews! I appreciate every single one and I hope you like this chapter! Thanks again!
"You wouldn't forgive yourself if anything happened to me! Christian, what about me, I couldn't go on with you!" I exclaim and start crying because there's no reason for me to be strong anymore. It's just me and my husband. Alone.
I rest my head in the crook of his shoulder, my feet still on the floor and sob. I literally can not stop crying, I feel like I'm losing my mind. I'm positively hysterical.
"Ana," I hear Christian whisper, but I can't stop. I don't know how to process everything's that happened this past week. Apart from finding out I'm pregnant this has been the worst week of my life. I can't breathe and I'm crying so much and I start to gag.
"Ana, Ana! Ana. Baby calm down, your going to make yourself ill!" Christian says panicking. I feel him haul himself into more of a upright position.
"Ana get on the bed with me, your going to hurt yourself standing like that," I subconsciously use my arms to drag my legs up on the bed so I'm kneeling on the edge of the bed with my head still firmly hidden in my husbands neck.
"Ana, look at me. Baby," he says but I cant, I don't know how to feel and I don't know what to do.
"Ana your making me cry too, please look at me baby," he whispers and I can hear from the hitch in his voice he isn't joking. "Talk to me, please" he adds softly.
"I thought he was going to shoot you," I sob. "Then I thought he was going to shoot me," I cry still refusing to look at him because seeing my beautiful husband looking so fragile will make me feel even worse. "How am I supposed to deal with that, I don't know what to do. How am I meant to feel?" I ask and then I feel sick. The room has an en-suite like the first one we were in and I jump off the bed and dive into the bathroom. I can hear Christian frantically calling me as I lean over the toilet. I hear the heart monitor machine go crazy and start making that dreaded flat tone it makes when someone… I think my own heart stops for a brief second but then I hear my husband swearing at the machine.
"Ana, I'm okay. Shut the fuck up, you stupid thing!" he says and I hear it stop making a sound. Someone comes rushing through the doors as they must have heard the alarm but I cant look up because I'm too busy gagging.
"Mr Grey? What…" who ever has entered the room begins.
"As you can see I'm still alive," Christian yells clarifying what the nurse can already see and I can hear scrambling
"You cant get out of bed," she says and I can hear her footsteps and I know he must of pulled the wires off his body making the machine so beserk.
"I can do what the hell I want," he roars and I pray he's not hurting himself.
"Mr Grey I'm going to have to call someone if you insist…"
"I'm not delusional, so don't even fucking think about trying to sedate me again, or I will sue the shit out of this hospital" he bellows.
"I wasn't suggesting that, but your not well, you've been through a lot" she tries to counter.
"I am not crazy or dying. I will discharge myself this second if it means I can get out of this bed and go to my wife."
"Mr Grey! Where's your wife? Stop and listen to me."
"Stop telling me what to do! I'm fucking sick of it! " He snaps as I know how hard it is for Christian to be told what to do. I gag really loudly and make myself known to the nurse. Christian is in a power struggle with this lady and I can't tell who's going to win.
"My wife is upset and I need to check on her," the nurse comes running into my view and I throw her a weak smile.
"Mrs Grey, are you alright?"
"I'm fine," I sob, "I got myself in a state from too much crying."
"Chrsitian," I wail from over the toilet and my husband hobbles into my view. Christian is my hero. He looks like crap and yet he always comes to rescue me. I feel so guilty that I've done this, I'm so selfish, he could hurt himself because I'm having a breakdown.
"I'm here baby," he whispers and the nurse looks on in shock. She tries to put a arm out to him, but he brushes her off and scowls limping a little over to me and gingerly sits down on the floor next to me. He has hospital baggy trousers on covering his bandaged leg and I notice how he lays it down gently on the floor so he doesn't catch it. He is shirtless and I hear him wince as the cold tiles connect with his bare skin on his back.
He pulls an arm around me and pulls me close into his side.
"You really can't sit there all night, it's not healthy, your still recovering" the nurse says standing in the bathroom doorway.
"Please, just give us five minutes alone," Christian says softer than before, but I cant see her reaction as I'm too upset. I hear her retreat without saying anything and hear the door to the main room close behind her. I don't know what he did but I imagine he must of gave her a some kind of emotional look to get her to listen to him.
"You must be freezing" I whisper in between sobs.
"I'm okay, I promise," he says kissing the side of my head.
"I'm sorry Christian, look what I've made you do," I say before breaking out into hysterics again.
"I love you, and there is nothing in this world I wouldn't do for you, including holding you when your sick," he whispers.
"But your sicker than me," I whisper.
"Not the point Mrs Grey," he grins as I look up at him.
"I just love you so much," I cry and he tightens his hold around me.
"and I love you Ana" he kisses the side of my head again.
"I turn under his arm a little so I'm curled towards him and can look up at him easily.
"It broke my heart when he hurt you," I say tracing my fingers around the skin surrounding the big bandage on his chest. I see his face contort with pain and I think hes trying to fight his emotions.
"I'm a big boy Ana, I can take a little pain," he smiles trying to reassure me.
"You like to act big and strong but in here," I trace my fingers over his heart, "your just like the rest of us,"
"Shhhh, your just upsetting yourself, try not to think about it," Christian whispers and I raise an eyebrow and my lip quivers. "Stop worrying about me baby, I'm going to be fine. "
"All I'm going to do for the next fifty years is worry about you," I say and he looks at me sadly.
He rests a hand over my stomach and I smile as I sniffle.
"Hello baby boy or girl," he says softly, "your going to make mommy and daddy very happy when you come along," and I let out a huge sob because my husband is adorable.
"I love this baby so much. He or she saved their daddy's life," I whisper and he looks at me confused.
"When," I start sobbing again before I can explain myself. "When Malcolm was about to shoot you, I said please my baby needs to meet their daddy, and then he didn't do it, he changed his mind" I whisper my breath hitching.
"And when you said it I was so furious with you! Ana I'm so angry at you for saying that! He could of killed you and our baby instead!" Christian says and I can see his lip quivering.
"But I'm glad I did, because now I get to hold you in my arms and never let you go." I pause for a second to control myself before continuing. "Christian I was a few seconds away from being alone in everything that I do. I love our children with everything I have, but you, you're the one thing that keeps me together. The one thing that when I wake up and see you next to me I know everything is going to be okay. I don't think I could live knowing that every morning I opened my eyes you would never be there again. You're the only person in my life who I can one hundred percent connect with. I can tell you anything and everything and you are always there for me. You might be the most infuriating, stubborn man on the planet," I giggle a little, "but your also the kindest, most loving person I have ever met. Hearts and flowers baby. I just can't stop thinking about how close I was to being stood next to your cold body in the morgue saying goodbye."
I can see Christian fighting an internal battle with his emotions and a stray tear slips down his cheek. "Ana what about me? I will never ever beable to forget how I felt when he had that gun to your head. It'… ". His voice breaks and I see his eyes dance around the room as he tries to reel in his emotions. "He could have killed you there and then and my life would be over right now. I'd try and take care of the children but I would never truly be the daddy I was because I could never be the same if I lost you. It would be like surviving but not really living. My life meant nothing before you, and my life would mean nothing after you. God forbid I never have to find out what after you feels like.
"Christian I'm so mad at you," I say suddenly feleing the anger spike in me and he looks confused.
"You said goodbye to me in there. Why would you give up on us like that. Why would you say goodbye to me like that. Do you know how much it hurt me to know that you'd given up on your life - on our life together as a family."
"Ana," he sighs sadly his head falling back for a second and I hear him wince from a sharp pain somewhere in his battered body. "In that moment all I wanted above everything else was to know that you and our baby would be safe. Don't think for one second I wanted to leave you in anyway. It killed me to think that I wouldn't be able to see our children grow up, that I wouldn't beable to be the husband I wanted to be and give you the world. I was praying that someone would save us, that we could stay together forever. But if it was me or you, it was always going to be me who took the hit. I would never ever let anything happen to you, I couldn't bare it. I would die to protect you, you know that and I know you don't agree with me and you never will, but that will never change no matter how much you scream, shout and hate me, I will always put you first that I can promise you that."
"How can you say it killed you to know that you wouldn't beable to be the husband you wanted to be. You have already given me the world Christian and you couldn't be a better husband if you tried. You, Phoebe, Teddy and blip number three are my world and without any of you in it," my voice breaks. "it hurts to much to think about,"
"There's so many more places I want to take you, and so many more things I want us to do." Christian says exhaling slowly.
"Christian, thank you for everywhere you have ever taken me and thank you for everything you have ever given me but you know I don't care about all that stuff. That stuff means nothing to me if I don't have you to share it with. Someone can take every penny you have and I would love you just as much as I do in this moment, right now." I am being completely honest.
"I love you so much," he whispers stroking my cheek and looking into my eyes.
"I can't get my head around the fact that I have almost lost you twice in the space of a week. I cant get the image of you slumped against that hospital wall waiting to be shot out of my head and I can't get the image of your eyes fluttering closed as I desperately tried to do something to help on the balcony, when in fact their was absolutely nothing I could fucking do to help you." I am so damn angry with everything, with Malcolm, with myself, with Christian with everyone.
"Ana of course you helped me. You being there helped me. I can guarantee you i'd be dead right now if I didn't have you there, because I would have had nothing worth fighting for. The terror I could see on your beautiful face helped me hang on." Christian giggles a little and I scowl at him. What the hell is funny about this. "Jeeez Ana I think this is the most depressing conversation I have ever had and I think we have had some depressing conversations during our marriage what with your damaged husband. Maybe a visit to Flynn is in order."
"I don't want to talk to John Christian. I want to talk to you and for the record you are not damaged" I say seriously.
"And you are talking to me baby. On the bathroom floor of a hospital room. The perfect location for a emotional chat don't you think, " he smirks and I cant help but let a brief smile flash across my face.
"No. I want us to be safe and sound at home with our babies Christian, and I want you not to be hurt" I say nuzzling his side.
"Were going home tomorrow I promise." he whispers and I look up at him in shock.
"Your still sick, they wont let you," I say voicing my opinion.
"The doctor said I could go home tomorrow before all this with Malcolm shit happened, so I'm going home. I don't care what they say. I'll discharge myself if I have too."
"Christian you have wounds that need checking over, I don't want you getting a infection."
"Yes me neither and apart from that and a little pain every now and again I feel fine. My mom is one of the best doctors in this god damn place so I'm sure she'll agree to come by our house every day and patch me up and check them over until their healed. Besides she wont have a choice because I'll tell her I'm going home regardless, so she'll have to agree to come and help me." he smirks. Typical Christian playing dirty to get what he wants.
"That's not fair Christian! As much as I want you to come home, which I really really do. I don't want you to put yourself at risk."
"Ana I promise I wont over do it. I'll stay in bed all day and let my beautiful wife wait on me hand and foot," he winks and I giggle. "Besides I have to go home, because I swear to god if one more person asks me if how I feel, or if I'm in any pain I'm going to fucking commit a murder myself. I hate people fussing over me when I have said I'm fine. It's driving me crazy!" Stubborn fifty.
"You do realize when we are home that not only am I probably going to check on you every five minutes when you're a awake. I am also going to check on you every two minutes when your asleep to make sure your still breathing Mr Grey" I smirk and he scowls at me playfully.
"You need some sleep baby, your exhausted. I promise you my body is fully capable of keeping my lungs working while you get some well deserved rest.
"This has been a horrible week," I muse as he pulls me closer towards him.
"I know Ana, I'm sorry," Christian whispers. I think about pulling him up for apologizing but the truth is I'm too tired and I don't want to shout at him again.
We eventually get up and make our way back over to the bed. I help Christian to make sure he's okay despite the dirty looks he keeps throwing at me.
We have just settled down and I am snuggling into Christians side when Taylor comes into the room. I start to move embarrassed but I feel Christian hold me down and I suppose he is right. Taylor is practically family and has seen us in much more compromising positions than this over the years.
"Sir," Taylor smiles and Christian looks up.
"What the hell happened in their Taylor," Christian barks as I grip onto his tighter at the memory. Taylor takes a deep breath before he begins.
"I swear worrying about you two has aged me about twenty years this past week," Taylor says and Christian scoffs.
"Get on with it Taylor," he says sternly.
"Did you shoot him?" I ask gingerly. I need to know and Taylor nods.
I hear Christian's sharp intake of breath as he adjusts to the news.
"What happened?" My husband persists.
"Well, as you know the Ana kidnap ploy managed to confuse us for a little while but once we figured out it wasn't actually Ana, I came back as fast as I could. When I found out he had you both in there we had to get the police involved. Hospital policy and everything. They were sending some hostage negotiators down and threatened us not to interfere. But when I heard the shot I new you two couldn't wait so I put my foot through the door and shot him."
"Taylor you saved us," I say sitting up a little.
"I always new there was a reason I payed you so much," Christian says and I see Taylor smirk.
"I always thought it was because you were about to confess your undying love for me," Taylor jokes, a rare moment between my husband and Taylor where all barriers are down. Christian scoffs and grins.
"Have I persuaded you I am not gay yet Ana?" Christian says looking down at me and I actively blush. I can be such a idiot sometimes. Are you gay Mr Grey? What the hell was I thinking.
"I think you managed too," I whisper embarrassed.
"Is that fucker dead?" Christian asks going back to the problem at hand.
"Critical sir. They aren't sure if he's going to make it," Taylor answers.
"Didn't do a good enough job then Taylor," Christian snipes and I look up at him. For a second I am shocked but then I realize it was almost my husband in there fighting for his life. Again. Worse still Christian would be dead if he had his way. Hell I could be dead.
"Cops are gonna give me hell for what I did," Taylor says rolling his eyes.
"You saved us Taylor, we would probably both be dead if you hadn't intervened, despite my heroic husbands attempt to tackle him in his feeble state," I look up at him lovingly and nudge him slightly.
"It's in the job description Ana. Husband's are meant to protect their wives and that's something I'm always going to do." Christian states kissing the top of my head.
"I'm just honestly glad your both still in one piece. For a second there…" I see Taylor clear his throat and I guess the whole situation must have hit him hard. We are like family after all and I bet it drove him crazy not being able to do anything to help us. "I can't believe the fucker managed to screw us over with the fake kidnap. I should have known.." he sighs.
"It wasn't your fault," Christian says clearly before I have a chance to speak, and I know it probably means more coming from Christian than me because my husband has a tendency to blame others for things that go wrong. Especially his security. Taylor shrugs his shoulders and I know he probably still blames himself.
"Taylor you saved us, and I will be forever grateful and I honestly mean that. I cant thank you enough," I say meaningfully.
"What about the brothers?" Christian asks. Shit I forgot about them for a second. This day has been so overwhelming.
"Security's trying to track them now Sir. As are the cops. Hopefully they'll find them soon," Taylor says sighing again. I guess he's disappointed there still out there. I shiver in Christian's arms for some reason but I'm not actually cold.
"Baby, are you cold?" Christian says looking down at me. "Do you want something to eat?"
"I'm okay and no thank you," I reply and I see Christian scowl.
"Ana, you've barely eaten anything, you need to eat," he says sternly.
"…and I will, when I'm Hungary," I reply stubbornly. I don't know if I could stomach anything right now.
"Ana," Christian warns before sighing. "Taylor will you get someone to bring us some food when you leave?"
"Sure Mr Grey," he says coolly. Bossy Christian is back and I am glad. I'm not too fond of upset or hurt Christian, as I've seen far too much of him these past few days. "How's the wounds?" Taylor asks screwing his face up.
"Grazes." Christian corrects stubbornly but that hole in his chest was definitely not a graze. "I'll live," he replies and Taylor nods.
"Have you spoken to Gail?" I ask and Taylor nods.
"Are our children okay?" I ask hopefully. I need my cute little babies in my arms again.
"There fine I promise you Ana," and this time I nod.
"Tell her to tell them we love them," Christian suddenly jumps in and I smile. "They can keep me company while you keep me locked away in bed for the next few days," he adds grinning.
"Days? More like weeks Mr Grey! I don't intend to let you out of my sight until your one hundred percent better," I admonish him and he rolls his eyes.
"We shall see Mrs Grey. We shall see," he says a wry smile gracing his face and I scowl. He is so not getting out of this one that easily and he is definitely not going back to work. I will not allow it.
"They better fucking find them," Christian snaps suddenly interrupting my thoughts and I realize he's talking about the brothers. I hope they find them soon too. I don't want anymore unexpected incidents taking place. I don't think I could cope with anymore.
"We're all doing our best Sir," Taylor states formally.
"Well I hope everyone is doing more than their fucking best. This is my family at risk. Ana at risk, my children at risk! I pay enough fucking money to everyone and they should be able to find two morons!" he shifts angrily underneath me and I hear him wince.
"Christian, calm down. They'll find them," I whisper and I can feel his heart hammering in his chest.
"They better," he snaps and I gently run my fingers up his arm.
"Right well I'll get back to the investigation. I'll speak to you soon to keep you informed" Taylor says swiftly.
"I'm going home tomorrow so you can speak to me there," Christian says seriously and I see Taylor raise a questioning eyebrow.
"Taylor don't give me that look. I'm crawling the fucking walls in here and I'm going home," Christian rants.
"Whatever you say Sir," Taylor responds and leaves the room. I grin hopelessly at my husband. Oh fifty.
Me and Christian snuggle for a while and when he stops responding I look up and see my husband has fallen asleep. He looks so peaceful but I swear I can see a hint of pain etched on his face. My poor baby. I close my eyes and the next thing I know I wake up to a slight buzzing sound somewhere near me. I blink myself awake and sit up and realize there is a doctor in the room. The buzzing sound is coming from the blood pressure cuff working on Christians arm.
"Hello baby," Christian says kissing the top of my head and I stretch out a little.
"Mrs Grey," the doctor says acknowledging me and I nervously smile. I wonder how long she's been in here watching me sleep. It makes me feel uncomfortable.
"How are you feeling today? I heard about what happened earlier. It sounds like you both went through a difficult experience."
Christian nods and speaks, "we are both fine, I want to leave tomorrow," he says and I see the doctor narrow her eyes at him as if to say good one Mr Grey.
"I don't think that would be advisable considering recent repercussions and events," she says formally.
"Well I think I would be much more comfortable at home with my family. Our children need us," Christian says giving her the glare.
"Look Mr Grey…" but Christian interrupts.
"No you look. I'm going home tomorrow and I am quite happy to discharge myself if I have too. My mom, Doctor Grace Trevelyan Grey can come help me out. There's nothing wrong with me anymore. Just a couple of grazes," he shrugs and although I feel like I should side with her, I want my husband home more so I say nothing.
"I'll talk to your mom about this," she says and I cant tell if she has accepted defeat or is going to try and tag team Christian with his mother.
I see Christian's eyes scowl and I think he's trying to control his temper and the doctor exit's the room.
"God the people in here," Christian growls as she leaves.
"They are only trying to help," I say softly because it is true, they are only looking out for Christians best interests.
"Yeah. Help drive me fucking insane," Christian says bitterly and I cant help but laugh.
"What are you laughing at Anastasia Grey?" Christian smirks.
"You. I love you so much," I whisper and he smiles brightly.
"I love you too baby," he says sweetly.
Grace comes back later and her and Christian have a war of words over him wanting to discharge himself. Christian wins obviously and he leaves poor Grace with no choice but to come and help patch him up everyday. I cant say I'm not happy though because I am. I'm thrilled. I just want everything to go back to normal. This week has been indescribably painful to say the least. Christian is the most animated I have seen him since they first brought him to the hospital. He is so utterly excited to see Teddy and Phoebe it melts my heart. I'm so excited for us all to be back together again as a family.
After Grace is gone and Christian has argued some more with the doctors we are finally left alone to our last night in this horrible place. I am lost in my thoughts when I see Christian wrinkle his nose.
"What are you thinking Mrs Grey?" he asks quizzically.
"Nothing," I reply and he pouts at me. "I was just thinking how much I love our family," I smile.
"Well I love you and Teddy and Phoebe too," he grins.
"Oh I know," I wink and he pulls me tighter. "I cant not wait to be cuddled up with you in our bed," I smile at the thought.
"Tomorrow baby, tomorrow," and I smile and close my eyes.
So yeah home time! The next few chapters will be happy chapters, with bits of Malcolm and co intertwined within in! Thanks for reading and I hope you like this! xxxxxxxxxxxxx p.s Thankyou again for the reviews.