This is a tag to Debbie418uk2's 'Rodney's Really Bad Days', chapter 51, 'Buttons', which was a chapter to my 'Rodney's Revenge', which was a tag to 'Rodney's Really Bad Days', chapter 45, 'No Good Deed'. LOL.

Many of the scenes and quotes belong to Debbie418uk2.

Debbie418uk2 – Wow, that would have been perfect. I can't believe I didn't think about that. Then again, you do have a more Rodney-like mind, LOL (that's a good thing ;) ) Thank you about the techno babble, and I fixed the spelling mistake. :)

Jasminesmommy – Yeah they do tend to get into it with each other, or because of each other, or despite each other. LOL

Puddle-Jumper38 – I didn't even think that it could have gone on for longer. Actually that could be said for a lot of these chapters, but hey, if anyone wants to borrow the idea, just contact me (or if it's a tag, Debbie418uk2) and ask.

x Varda x – I'm glad you like it :). There's usually a lot of ouchies for John and Rodney, LOL, though I need to focus on not hurting Rodney so bad, since that's Debbie418uk2's job. LOL.

Godsdaughter77 – I'm glad you liked it. :)

Thanks everyone for sticking with me. Here's a tag to a tag to a tag. LOL.

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(John's POV)

Ok, so apparently Rodney and I had this game of 'tag' going. First, I owed him, because I asked him to baby sit so I could go on a date, not that the date turned out, mind you... But in the end, he'd almost been fed to the 'Matri', the animals he babysat-and-lost's mother, because of all of it.

Yeah, I'll admit we learned our lesson on that case. Still, I owed him one. I don't think I've ever regretted those words more than I did after he called me on it.

Plant-sitting duty. Literally. For hours, in a hot lab... So Rodney could go on a date. Imagine that, Rodney, on a date. Then again, I did notice he seemed to be getting closer to Katie, and I did recall hearing she returned the feelings. I just never imagined him being the one to ask her out.

It'll be easy. Boring, but easy. I should've known better. The damn plant was no harmless petunia, but an alien version of a venus fly trap! I'll never look at plants the same way again!

So where were we now? I owed Rodney, I paid him back, oh! Now he owed me...or so I thought.

Flashback

"At least it didn't try to eat you!" I'd just gotten my IV removed, so I could leave, but unfortunately, Rodney wasn't quite well enough to go, himself, so he was still stuck in the infirmary, and totally miserable about it, too. "I was number one on it's lunch menu!"

Rodney rolled his eyes and opened his mouth, seeming ready to spit something back at me, but instead ended up sighing. "Ok, so who owes who, now? I figure this makes us about even."

I shook my head and glared at him. "Oh no, not by a long shot! You should owe me double for this one!"

"How'd you come to that conclusion?!" He sat up sharply in the bed and hissed, grabbing his side and wincing.

I raised an eyebrow. "Did you notice the teeth on that thing?!"

"Did you see the ones on the Matri?!" He tossed back, mimicking my facial expression and folding his arms over his chest.

Tilting my head to the side, I gingerly rubbed at the bandages on my shoulder. "Yeah, but the Matri never actually bit you. This thing got a lump of my shoulder, and it was poisonous, to boot!"

Again Rodney seemed ready to make a comment, but he looked at my shoulder and sighed again, lowering his face. "Fine. But no more babysitting...anything. Animal, vegetable or mineral."

Nodding quickly, I smiled at the nurse who had finished checking my injuries. "Agreed."

End Flashback

How did I get myself into this, again? Walking out of the infirmary with Rodney, I sighed. I ask Rodney to baby sit an...alien monkey... Whatever happened to 'no more babysitting...anything'? Anyways, he ends up pissing the thing off, I still don't know how, and gets bit, bad.

"So Yvonne wasn't, err...forthcoming?" Rodney asked hesitantly, cradling his bandaged hand.

Shaking my head, I sighed. 'Buttons likes this, Buttons can do that'... "She spent the entire time talking about that damn monkey." I grabbed our coffee as we entered the mess hall, and carried the two cups to our table. "How wonderful he is, how funny, how precious... I've never been so bored on a date." Frowning as I sat down, I placed the coffee down and rubbed at my eyes. "I was half tempted to tell her to go on a date with the damn thing!"

"She probably would have, and enjoyed it, too." Rodney grumbled. "'Nasty man'. Seriously?" Rodney suddenly seemed to stiffen up and looked into his coffee cup. "We may have, um, a problem, there. You know, with the monkey" The last part was said so quietly, I wasn't sure for a moment if I heard right.

Staring at him a moment, I knew something was up. "Oh?"

"Well, I had to explain to Carson how I got an animal bite here on Atlantis..." He trailed off, looking very uncomfortable.

Oh, boy, I have a bad feeling about this.

(Two Days Later, Normal POV)

""Whoa, no! You owe me, remember??" Rodney glared at John as the two of them sat in the conference room.

Elizabeth sat across from the two grown men, currently acting like five year olds, and stared at them in confusion as John turned back and raised an eyebrow.

"And how do you figure that?"

"I got bitten by a monkey so you could go on a date!" Folding his arms over his chest, Rodney lifted his chin. "And in the end, she didn't even..." Trailing off, he turned back to Elizabeth, who'd raised an eyebrow at this point.

With a huge sigh, John lowered his head. He knew full well he could argue until his face was blue, but they had agreed to no babysitting, then he'd managed to get Rodney to agree to watch over an alien monkey. In the end... "Ok, you're right. But still, I can't do it. I'm not the head of her department." Ok, so he could do it, but still, it was Rodney who was the head of her department, and honestly, did you see how upset she was? I sure as hell don't wanna be the one to deliver this little tidbit of information!

"John's right." Elizabeth took this time to speak up. "As the head of the Science and Research Department, it's up to you, Rodney, to inform Yvonne she has to return the monkey to the world she got it from."

"Fine... Oh, but John's gotta come with me!" Glaring at the Colonel, he raised an eyebrow. "It was your date that started all this, after all."

Again John considered and nodded slowly. "Fine. What harm can it do to come with you?" It'll be him to deliver the news, and it'll be him she'll be pissed at.

Once Elizabeth was done chewing the boys out for being part of this little secret, she'd made it quite clear Yvonne was to get rid of 'the damn monkey'. Unfortunately, as they were both in on it, she thought it fair one of them tell Yvonne personally. It fell on John, who'd wanted the surprisingly disappointing date in the first place, or Rodney, who agreed to watch the monkey, and in the end, ended up getting bitten.

(Next Day, John's POV)

"Is it me, or is her face really red?" I asked quietly as Yvonne stomped down the hall way, dressed in her off world uniform and carrying her 'baby', Buttons.

"Just waiting for the steam to start pouring out of her ears?" Rodney asked back, his face paling. "This...is not going to end well, I can see it now. I'm just curious, how is it I always get the short end of the stick? I owe you, I end up getting hurt. You owe me, I still end up getting hurt. It's just so not fair!"

"Just your luck." I muttered, nodding as Elizabeth came walking over. "And I'm just curious how we all got stuck with escort duty."

Raising an eyebrow, Elizabeth looked at us, and for a moment almost seemed regretful, as a red-faced, royally pissed off Yvonne stomped by her, rudely. "Well, as Yvonne stated, you were both part of this secret of hers. She felt it was only fair that the two of you escort her back to return...um, Buttons, to his family."

Rodney rolled his eyes and sighed loudly. "But we told her about it, wasn't that enough? I mean, you weren't there, you didn't hear how mad she got! Now we have to deal with...this??" He shook his head and turned, walking over to Ronon and Teyla, who were seemingly biting back smirks.

The four of us were dressed in our off world BDUs, prepping to go on a return mission, taking Buttons home. How we got stuck with it, Yvonne managed to convince Elizabeth that as two main co-conspirators, myself and Rodney should definitely be there, and since Ronon and Teyla were part of my team... The latter two definitely didn't seem to mind the idea, as Atlantis has been pretty boring, recently, despite the little incidents with Matri and the alien venus fly trap.

"She did get pretty mad." I conceded with a shrug. "But I guess there are worse things that could happen."

"Yes, there are. For one, I could reconsider the fact that I didn't report you both for this. John, this is precisely why Atlantis has a 'no pets allowed' rule. There are too many ways for people to get injured." Elizabeth sighed and nodded to the marine by the DHD. "Dial the gate." Turning back, she raised an eyebrow. "Just remember, it could have been a lot worse than a little bite."

With a nod, I turned and joined the rest of my team, glancing briefly at Rodney and feeling guilty. Last time I asked him for a favor, he almost ended up the special on the Matri's lunch menu. This time, he ended up as a snack to a monkey. I really wondered, was it his luck, or mine?

The trip through the gate was fairly uneventful and quiet. Despite the glares Yvonne was shooting us, and the occasional smirk I saw flit across her face, she made no comment. Of course, she spent the entire time cooing to her baby, in her arms. It was still surprising the lack of verbal hostility.

P4X-379 was a surprisingly calm planet. Another one with an atmosphere that remarkable resembled some part of earth, of course. This one resembled earth's tropical rain forests. Exotic sounding birds chirped loudly through the air, and something that sounded kin of like a cricket joined in now and then, giving a peaceful feeling. The sun shone down through the tall, thick trees, and highlighted the bright green plants that covered the ground. The air was cool and fresh, and actually invigorating.

"Hmm, this place is actually nice." Rodney looked around. "Of course, there's probably all kinds of man-sized alien mosquitoes, giant, poisonous spiders, deadly centipedes and more, that we haven't run into, yet."

"Always the pessimist." I muttered with a sigh. "Would be a nice place to take a girl out on a date." When Yvonne glared back at me, I raised an eyebrow and revised that in my head. Though hopefully she won't be as much of a monkey freak.

"Hopefully she won't be as much of a monkey freak." Rodney stated out loud, unknowingly repeating my thought and typing away on his computer tablet.

"Ugh! You guys are completely..." Trailing off, Yvonne glared at us, and Buttons chirped and squealed angrily in her hands. She seemed to try to think of something to say, but groaned loudly and placed Buttons on her shoulder, before turning and stomping off.

At this point, Rodney was looking up and almost seemed to regret his words.

Almost.

It didn't take us too long to reach a number of very thick, twisted trees, where a number of monkeys were climbing around and chittering loudly. As soon as they came into sight, Buttons screeched, jumped off Yvonne's shoulder and raced to join them, making the loudest racket of all of them.

"Buttons!"

"Leave him. That's what we're here for, remember?" Taking a step forward, I reached out and took Yvonne's shoulder, only to have her pull roughly away, spin and glare at me.

"You don't understand! You had no right to do this!"

"And you had no right to bring an alien pet to Atlantis!" Rodney shouted back at her. "That's not only highly unsanitary, it's bad for both Buttons and us! Who knows what kinds of diseases he can give us, or vice versa?!" He looked at his hand almost fearfully.

She paused, as if it made sense to her, but with a huff, stomped off back the way we'd come. On her way past, I could have sworn I heard her mention something about 'getting what we deserved', but let it slide, since it was so quiet, I was sure it was my imagination. Watching as she silently stalked off into the woods, at a pace close to running, I raised an eyebrow and was about to turn to my team and suggest heading back when the commotion started.

Squeaks, chirps, chitters, and screams. Spinning in place, I raised my P90, and saw one long haired monkey pointing at us. Considering most of the monkeys looked different, some had shorter hair or more brown or different designs in their hair... This one seemed exactly like Buttons, I was pretty sure it was Buttons, and he didn't seem happy. He was pointing directly at Rodney, and chittering away loudly to a group of four more monkeys.

In the trees, more than a dozen of these monkeys were staring at him, and then looking to us. And was it me, or were their eyes narrowing every time they turned towards us?

"They don't look too happy." Ronon stated pointedly, taking a few steps back. Not that he was running, he was just placing a little more distance between himself and a possible target.

Teyla joined him, raising her own P90.

Rodney stared at the monkeys with his jaw dropped. "What the...? Is that little brat telling on me?! You rat!" Suddenly, something brown and wet splattered against his chest, and his jaw dropped even further. "You've gotta be kidding me! Feces?!"

Ronon gave a confused look, not having heard that term before, but Teyla, who'd spent more time with myself and my team, smirked and covered her mouth as she and the Satedan dashed behind their own respective trees.

I couldn't help but laugh as he ducked behind the nearest tree and with a disgusted scowl, grabbed a handkerchief from his pocket, trying to wipe off his vest and shirt. "McKay, just be glad his aim wasn't a few inches higher."

He shot me one of the dirtiest looks I could ever recall.

Then, there was a sharp pain as something impacted hard against the back of my head. Reeling with the blow, I cried out in shock and stumbled forward, my hand going instinctively to the back of my head. "What the hell?!" There was blood on my hand. Shaking my head, I closed my eyes a moment as everything spun and when I opened them again, I moved, ducking behind one last tree. "Crap! Damn monkeys!"

"Ha! Now you know how I felt!" Rodney seemed desperately trying to give me a triumphant look, but it failed miserably as he wrinkled his nose at the mess on his uniform. "Remind me to shoot the next person who tries to bring an alien animal home as a pet!"

Wincing at the pain that seemed to keep shooting through my skull, I peeked around the corner of the tree, and promptly ducked behind it again as another rock was thrown. "Great. They all seem to be against us. Hey, guys! It was McKay who hit Buttons, not us!"

Again Rodney gave me a dirty scowl.

The angry chittering had grown beyond Buttons and now seemed to be coming from most of the monkeys, as they jumped around in their trees and on the ground. Rocks, branches and feces were flying through the air, and poor McKay...

I felt and heard the snickers bubbling up, but did my hardest to suppress them at what happened. Ronon didn't even try, and Teyla looked too shocked to laugh. I mean, Rodney just had to look around the tree at that one moment. He just had to stick his entire face out in the open. And Buttons just had to pick up and throw those feces at that very same moment.

Talking about taking one for the team. I stopped laughing as he turned to me, his brown face almost dripping, and the fire in his eyes warning me he was very close to wringing the necks of every last one of those monkeys, in a very Ronon-like manner. And talk about revenge.

Despite the pain in my skull, and how everything kept threatening to get blurry on me, I nodded to Ronon, towards his blaster. "Ronon! Stun!"

Flipping his blaster out of it's holster, Ronon switched it to stun and ducked out from behind the tree long enough to blast three monkeys, knocking them out of the trees. I wanted to help, but as Ronon was the only one with a weapon capable of stunning... Why didn't we all bring stunners? It seemed like such a good idea, right about now.

Anyway, he took about three more out, when I felt a light weight on my back, and something tug painfully at my hair. "Hey!" Reaching back, I grabbed the warm, furry body, and felt guilty when it squeaked, telling me I'd squeezed too hard. Still, I pulled the body, and cried out as teeth sunk into my ear. Ow, ow, OW! The damn thing was biting me, pulling my hair and digging it's filthy little claws into my neck!

There was a blast, and the body collapsed. Letting it go, I turned to find Buttons laying unconscious on the ground, and when I raised a hand to my ear, I winced and hissed as I felt the hot wetness on it. "Damn it!" As if my head wasn't already hurting! "Come on, we've returned the damn monkey! Let's get back!" Waiting for the others to take off, I ducked out from behind my tree and trailed them, occasionally moving to the side, so Ronon could aim back and stun another monkey.

There was another pain in my lower back, followed by one in the arm. Each hit sent me stumbling, and once, even to my knees. It was Teyla and Ronon who stayed back to help me up and stay with me, trying to halt at least some of the attacks. It made me wonder for a moment, why did they all seem to be coming after me?!

Then I realized Ronon had taken a hit of feces to the back, which I noticed when he ran off ahead, and a rock or branch to the arm, if the small cut meant anything. Teyla ran on ahead, also, although not as far, and when she spun back, I noticed little claw marks on her cheek.

By the time we reached the gate, Ronon had probably stunned most of the monkeys, and the rest had given up on following us. Despite the brutal attack, I still couldn't bring myself to shoot the monkeys, and came away pretty battered from the 'stoning' they gave me. Rodney had dialed and raced through already, the stench of monkey poop trailing behind him, and Teyla was standing by the active gate, protecting it and watching me with worry.

Gesturing to them, I waited as she ran through and shouted in surprise, pain and protest when Ronon grabbed my collar and actually hauled me through the gate with them. Did I ever mention how strong that guy was??

"John! Oh my-Carson!"

Focusing on the gate room, it hit me how much brighter Atlantis' lights were, compared to the forest. I saw Elizabeth staring at me with worry, and two marines seemingly guarding Yvonne. She was staring at us in an open, honest mixture of emotions, although the most predominant one was laughter, when her gaze turned to Rodney.

Oh, yeah. I forgot about her. I thought vaguely as I felt Carson poking around at my ear. "Ouch! Hey, doc! Do you mind??"

"Sorry lad, but it looks like you got bitten pretty bad. You're gonna need stitches." He sighed as he felt around at my head. "Where else are you hurt?"

"Pretty much everywhere." I murmured, wiping at my eyes. "I got stoned." When I noticed a number of eyebrows raised, I realized how that sounded and glared at them all. "Literally. They tossed stones at me." Turning to the doc, I gave him a look when I saw the amusement in his eyes. "Hey, at least I didn't get hit with feces."

"Oh, hey, now!" Rodney was standing down at the other side of the gate room, taking towel after towel from a thoroughly disgusted looking marine as he struggled to get the remains of the monkey feces of his face. "That's so not fair!" Handing the pile of dirty towels back to the marine, and ignoring the gag they let out, he turned and stalked off, muttering about taking a million showers and still stinking of monkey poop.

Before he was gone out of sight, I did notice his upper arm was bandaged roughly and raised an eyebrow. I was fairly certain McKay hadn't been injured, but I could have been wrong. After all, I was so busy trying not to get stoned, I wasn't paying too much attention to anything else.

Watching him, Elizabeth looked ready to start laughing. "Monkey feces??" She muttered with a look. "Wow, wonder how I'm gonna explain that in the report."

"You and me, both." I stated with a loud sigh, following Beckett out of the room, to the infirmary.

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I realized I didn't leave too much for a tag, so I inserted a little part with Rodney being injured, and lets see if anything can be done with that.

Hope you like it

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi