Ok, when first reading the chapter title of chapter 53 of Rodney's Really Bad Days, 'Potent Potable', by Debbie418uk2, I had this immediate image of a radioactive or rotten pot roast. LOL. She explained to me that 'Potable' referred to a drink (Hope I explained that right), but now the image won't fade from my mind.

After a joking comment about making a chapter with pot roast, it was all a matter of who's story it should go in. Seeing as how Rodney would whine and blame Sheppard... Well, it would be a Really Bad Day for them both, but in my opinion, I can see it being a slightly worse day for John.

So the chapter title of Debbie's story is what brought me my muse for this chapter.

Debbie418uk2 - It was a little different, but I couldn't help but giggle about it. This one, however... I think I busted up laughing while writing it, just because I could totally see the conversations and their faces. LOL I have 'The Revenge of Buttons' complete, but I'm going to wait until next week to post it. I wanted to post this one, first. ;)

Jasminesmommy - I think I would have felt the same way as him as soon as Buttons attacked him in the first place. I never would have made it to the crapping. LOL!

Puddle-Jumper38 - Yeah, talk about a crappy day. LOL.

x Varda x - LOL At least in this case it was a 'John's Really Bad Day' and not both of them. I had to have the others get SOME splattering, though! LOL And besides, it's John. He's very biteable.

E. Nagrom - No, you're right. Did you read Debbie's story? Everyone avoided them like a plague! LOL Glad to have you with us! I forgot which chapters were which, so I had to go and recheck the title of chapter 8 to see which one you were talking about. LOL, Yeah, I giggled to that one, too. Vala would use the innuendos everywhere, not just the mess hall, and probably not to just Daniel, either. ;)

Brisk33 - Glad you liked it. Oh, Debbie's story is where I got a lot of my ideas/muses, she does really great work. :)

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(Atlantis, Infirmary, Normal POV)

"I told you we shouldn't have eaten it."

"Yeah, and you almost got us stoned to death."

"I still think that would have been preferrable. Carson? I thought you were going to make the room stop spinning."

Giving a slight dismissive wave of his hand, Carson kept scrolling through some information on a data padd he was carrying. The only time he looked up was when a nurse walked over and handed him another one, and that was only so he could grimace.

Groaning, John glared at Rodney and swallowed heavily, trying to fight the rolling nausea in his stomach. "Look, it was their custom, and evidently, they had no problem with the food, ok?"

"It was green!"

Carson raised an eyebrow and gave them both an odd look.

"Not that green!"

"That makes a difference?! Oh, what, if it's only slightly green you'd have no problem eating it??" Rodney glared right back, clutching at his stomach, his face pale and also a little green himself.

"Well, maybe I thought it was mint flavored." Of course he was being sarcastic. John rolled his eyes and sighed, promptly catching his breath as his stomach rolled again. Leaning forward quickly, he grabbed the small bucket Carson had given him earlier, and lost more of their...unusual meal, that he'd eaten on P7M-886.

Shaking his head, Rodney groaned and covered his ears, closing his eyes, and holding his breath. "Oh, god! Please don't do that!" His face had turned even greener and he cast a glance at his own small bucket. As soon as John's gagging had let up, he uncovered his ears and narrowed his eyes. "And how the hell did you get it being mint flavored? Did you even smell it?! Definitely not mint flavored!"

Reaching into his pocket, Carson grabbed a small bottle and seemed to regard it a moment before putting it on a nearby desk and going over to the cabinet to grab another bottle. Once he had it, he picked up the other and took another moment to regard them.

"No duh, Rodney." John swallowed heavily again and wiped his sweaty face on a towel. "You really don't need to be reminding me of the smell, ok?"

"Oh, gee, and here I was, having a field day remembering it." Letting out a very small but powerful sigh, Rodney slumped sideways on the gurney and let his head rest on the pillow. "I still say being stoned to death would have been preferrable. How the hell'd Ronon and Teyla get out of it??"

"You know Athosian and Satedan stomachs." Grumbling to himself, John followed Rodney's example, but a lot more slowly and gently.

"Alright, that's enough you two." Carson walked over and handed them each a bottle. "Those are tums, should help with your upset stomachs." When he received a look, he raised his eyebrow. "Would you rather I gave you nothing? I don't dare try anything else until I know more, and your blood tests are not back yet. First of all, I need to know what you ate in particular."

"Pot roast." John answered promptly, popping the bottle open and taking two of the small tablets.

Rodney grimaced and repeated the action, taking two himself before eyeing the bottle and hesitantly putting the cap back on. "Pot roast?! I sincerely doubt that's what it was."

"It was a hunk of meat and looked like pot roast."

"Sure, that's why it was green and smelled funny."

"Ok, so it was kinda bad pot roast..."

"More like radioactive." Scoffing, Rodney sighed and rubbed his head. "And then there were the potatoes."

"I'd say squash." John seemed thoughtful for a moment. "At least that's what color they were, but yeah, they were kinda...potato shaped."

Frowning for a moment, Carson typed that into his data pad. "Ok, so you ate green roast and potato-squash things?" Pausing in mid-type, Carson stared at them pointedly. "And why'd you eat the green pot roast?"

"That's what I'm trying to understand." Rodney groaned in disbelief, swallowing heavily as his face turned even greener.

"It was their culture. I didn't wanna insult them." John raised his hands and shrugged. "Besides, Teyla and Ronon seemed like everything was ok."

"In your own words, Colonel, you know Athosian and Satedan stomachs." Turning to one of his nurses, Carson asked her to send for Teyla and Ronon. "So they are obviously showing no sign of illness. I should have all your blood work back soon, but for now, I want you both to rest." Seeing John's head turn towards Rodney, he narrowed his eyes. "That's an order."

With resigned sighs, both men carefully laid out on their beds and relaxed a little.

Sighing himself, Carson turned and stalked into another room, just waiting until one of them started up.

(Later)

"So the food wasn't poisoned."

"Could've fooled me."

"McKay... Be nice." John sat up in his bed and eyed Teyla and Ronon warily as they stood there, seemingly perfectly healthy.

"Well, you could have!" Rodney remained laying down, but turned his head and glared at John, his face even more pale than it was earlier. "So, I ate the pot roast to keep from being stoned to death, and that's why I get to die of food poisoning instead. Nice. Very nice."

"Rodney, relax. The food wasn't poisoned. There were trace amounts of a mold present in your bodies, but when analysed, it seemed to be generally the same sort of stuff you'd find from rotten meat."

Rodney gagged and leaned over the side of his bed quickly. The others grimaced and tried to tune out the sounds before they ended up joining him.

Forcibly ignoring him, Carson kept staring straight ahead. "It's to a stronger degree however, so I'm gonna have to give you something stronger to help you get over the symptoms. I will tell you now, though, it's gonna take a couple days at least."

"Great." John looked at Rodney, winced, and looked away. Seeing a look flash through Ronon's eyes, and how uncomfortable Teyla seemed, his eyes narrowed and he raised an eyebrow. "Ok, spit it out." Seeing their confused looks, he sighed loudly and promptly gagged. Ok, bad coice of words. Luckily, though, he managed to get his body under control and relaxed a little as the nausea faded away. "I meant, just say what's on your mind."

"Perhaps, we should let you rest." Teyla's discomfort seemed to grow as Rodney let out a particularly loud gag.

"No, I think you should tell me what's on your mind." John narrowed his eyes even more, and made his face about as stern as he could, even though he had a feeling he was going to regret hearing what they had to say.

Looking at Ronon for a moment, she seemed to hesitate but turned back to their leader. "We were contacted by the leader of the Akarim. He was intrigued by you and wished for us to return to the planet to discuss more options for the trading alliance."

Staring at them blankly for a moment, Rodney's eyes rolled back in his head and he leaned a little too far to the side, falling right out of the bed. The only thing that stopped him from making a head dive into the floor, was Ronon's quick reflexes, as the Satedan caught him and helped the now unconscious scientist back into his bed.

"Well, I guess we know who's not going." Carson stated with a firm glance to the others.

"Umm..." Looking at Rodney, then at himself, and finally at the others, John was decidedly uncomfortable. "Is there going to be another feast?"

It was Teyla's turn to wince, but she nodded quietly.

With a nod of his own, John almost lunged over the other side of his bed as the mere thought of the food made him lose it.

(P7M-886, John's POV)

Staggering through the field with Teyla and Ronon on either side of me, I really questioned what I was thinking of, agreeing to come back. At least this time I planned to talk to them about the feast. Maybe it wouldn't be absolutely necessary to eat.

Then again, that could be a very quick way to ending all our misery. What, with the stoning and all.

As I stumbled sideways again, I felt a hand on my arm and saw Teyla looking at me in worry. "I'm fine, really."

Raising her eyebrow, she seemed like she was going to say something, but remained quiet and nodded slightly, still holding on to my arm as we made our way to the village. "We will be there shortly."

I never really paid much attention to how long we walked. My mind was focused on not knocking Teyla over, and after the glares I started to get, not walking into Ronon at all. Did I ever mention how scary he can be? Either way, we soon made it to the village, where we were met with the very friendly villagers, and the over enthusiastic leader, K'ual Daniin.

I say over enthusiastic, because, well...

"My dear friends!"

Oh boy. Here it comes. I tried to dodge as the large man who resembled an older generation of Egyptian men, came rushing over with his arms out. However, due to my slower reflexes, he managed to catch me, and the next thing I knew, I was enveloped in a bear hug tight enough to make most men pass out. As soon as he started squeezing, I started gagging. The nausea came rushing back with a blinding speed, and spots danced in my vision as I struggled not to be sick all over this man.

"K'ual!" Teyla called warningly, shaking her head. "He is very ill."

Funny. When she mentioned that, he backed off even faster than he'd run forward. I didn't think anyone, human or alien, could move that fast.

"What has happened?" K'ual' gestured to two of the young females that always seemed to follow him around and they hurried away. Staring at us in worry, he frowned at me and seemed to keep a safe distance. "Was he not well the last time we met?"

"He was..." Teyla seemed to hesitate a moment.

It was that moment a particularly nasty smell hit my nose. It smelled like the pot roast from the 'last time we met', but about ten times worse. As the smell seemed to ooze forward, yes, I said ooze, I turned and made the fastest mad dash out of the village, anyone had ever seen. Seeing a big, fat tree in front of me, I ran around behind it and lost it.

"I will return!" I heard Teyla's voice from behind me, and for a brief moment, wondered how the hell she'd kept up. But that quickly fled my mind as I felt her arms come around my waist. I was hunched over, one hand on the tree, and the other across my stomach as I struggled to breathe. My legs were shaky, so I let myself collapse against the tree in a lean. "John!"

"Oh, god!" Gasping and choking, I swallowed heavily and grabbed a handkerchief from my pocket to wipe off my face. "Tell me that smell was not what they were planning to serve us!"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Teyla wince and look uncertain.

"What did they do, leave the pot roast out in the sun all day and re-heat it??" Gagging again, I took a deep breath and held it, counting to ten before letting it out very slowly. "I dunno if I can do this."

"We can always return to Atlantis. Ronon can take you back, and I can stay and explain-"

"Ok." I held up a hand a little, and as soon as I could, stood up straight. "That's probably a good idea." I didn't like the idea of leaving Teyla alone here, with no clue as to how K'ual would react to the news we weren't going to eat, but two things made up my mind. One, if I stayed any longer, I sure as hell was going to humiliate us all in the village, and probably insult them big time by passing out during dinner, and two, it was Teyla. Not only could she obviously handle the food, she sure as hell could kick my ass in a fight any day. In all honesty, I think I'd be more worried about the Akarim than her.

"Will you come back to the village with me, to get Ronon?"

Taking a deep breath, I made a face and covered my nose as a very weak but still pretty potent hint of that smell made it's way over to us. Shaking my head, I kept my hand over my nose. "No." I knew my voice was coming out nasally, and saw Teyla's grin. That only made me glare at her. "I think I'll wait here."

"Alright. I'll go get him." She turned and walked off.

Leaning once again against the tree, I sighed. This was entirely too embarrassing, and I could only hope I hadn't offended K'ual by running off the way I had. The only reason I'd come in the first place, was in favor of our trade alliance for special medical supplies. A potion the Akarim created seemed to heal up all sorts of infections almost immediately, when placed on a fresh wound. It didn't heal the wound, just the infection, but that alone could be worth a lot.

"Hey."

Turning to Ronon, I raised a hand, not really feeling nodding would be a good idea. Without even saying a word, I began the trek back to the gate with him, aware when he stayed a little closer than usual. Luckily, I didn't stumble too much, but whenever I did, he was there to catch my arm.

(Lunch Room, Two Days Later, Normal POV)

Sitting at the lunch table with Rodney, John sighed and looked at his tray. He was feeling pretty good, almost completely better, and the way Rodney was going at his food, the same could be said for him. Luckily Teyla came back in one piece, talking about how sorry K'ual was that they'd been made sick by their food, and how impressed he was that they ate it just for his sake.

Of course, that only served to make John sick, as she recounted the stew they'd had for dinner. He wasn't sure, because he'd passed out when Ronon took sick delight in describing it, but it might have been some alien variant of blood stew.

Without even needing to look into a mirror, John knew he was turning green, but looking at the plate in front of him, he couldn't help it.

"What's wrong?"

He glanced up at Rodney and raised an eyebrow. "Just wondering who's sick idea of a joke this is." When he saw Rodney's confused face, John sighed and gestured to his plate. "Pot roast and potatoes."

When it hit Rodney, his eyes went wide and he stopped chewing immediately. Looking down at his plate, he promptly turned green, pushed his chair away from the table and ran out of the lunch room with his hand over his mouth, faster than John had ever seen him move.

With a sigh, John pushed his plate away and got up. Walking over to the food, he grabbed a fruit cup and a fork before leaving the lunch room and making way straight to his room. "I'm never gonna look at roast the same way again." He muttered on his way out.

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Hope you like it.

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi