Disclaimer : I don't own the quotes and the scenes, they came from the show. John's POV was my idea. That's all. And quite obviously, I don't own the series, or the show would NEVER end!
Ok, so I have tons of chapters of John being hurt by something. But you don't just have to be hurt to have a bad day
Ok, thank you to who just made me realise I didn't put in a spoiler warning for those who haven't seen the episode yet, so...
SPOILER WARNING FOR THE EPISODE 'The Shrine'!!! So for those of you who haven't seen it... I don't give away the ending, thankfully, but it does heavily rely on a couple of scenes from the actual show.
Debbie418uk2 – You liked Funky Week 1? LOL I was laughing a little at points. I got your chapter and I raise you Funky Week 3: Wednesday (Already finished it ;) )
Jasminesmommy – Yeah, I was going for the rudeness LOL
x Varda x – Oh? What's a lorry? That was pretty much the only car crash one, but I wanted to do something a little different than having them be attacked by Wraith or Genii.
Puddle-Jumper38 – In response to your mention of Joe hating boats (his idea of a nightmare is being stuck on a boat :S), I've completed a two-parter about a boat incident ;) Thank you for the muse ;) LOL Talk about a lasting bad impression. Don't you just love monkeys? I just finished a chapter with nice monkeys, myself. LOL
E. Nagrom – LOL, Yeah I knew that sounded like a Ronon-thing to say. Glad to hear you enjoyed it, sorry about the headache. LOL. (Sends John over with a bottle of aspirin)
Here's the next update (I'm trying to get all my oldest chapters up first, since I think I like my newer ones better ;) )
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(John's POV, Jumper)
We're on Talus, flying a cloaked jumper through Wraith infested land. Was this smart? I seriously doubted it. Did we care? Well, maybe Jennifer, but that didn't stop her from coming along. The truth is, with the situation we were presented with, I think our minds were focused more on helping Rodney than the hoards of Wraith swarming this world.
What's wrong with Rodney? I'm no doctor, but it's pretty simple. He's got a bug in his brain. A parasite. It infected him some time ago, and over the course of the last two weeks or so, he's been slowly forgetting everything. Reverting to a child-like state. He doesn't remember a fraction of the things he used to, hell he can barely speak anymore!
If left like this, he won't last another two days. But so far, we've found no way to remove it.
Ronon told us about this planet, Talus, and the Shrine of Talus. It would allow Rodney to be himself again. How? I'm not a scientist, or Satedan, don't ask me. Would it work? We had no idea.
Would that stop us?
No.
We were doing this for him. Allowing him a day to be himself again, and die with dignity and honor. And we were doing it for us, a chance to see Rodney McKay again. Our team mate. Our friend. A real chance to say goodbye, as painful as it might be.
Rodney wanted to say goodbye, before, but I wouldn't let him.
Flashback
"John! JOHN!"
Jumping awake, I thought my heart was going to leap out of my chest. In all the time I'd known him, I'd never heard Rodney scream my name like that. I instantly hopped out of bed, not even aware of doing it, and ran to the door, swiping my hand over the sensor as Rodney's banging echoed through my room and the hall.
He stood there at the door, immediately grabbing my arms and rambling into how we'd all left, and he'd been so scared. He was rumpled, his face pale as he shook a little, and his normally hard blue eyes, the most vulnerable I'd ever seen them.
It was a little scary, seeing him like that.
"Oh, buddy, I'm sorry." How could I even think of letting that happen?! I should have been there for him! "I thought you'd fallen asleep." Not that, that was an excuse.
There was honestly no way I could ever imagine what he was going through, but the sheer terror in his eyes gave me an inkling. I knew this wasn't the same Rodney I'd grown to know and, well, tolerate. Ever since he'd woken up, he'd been different, and I never noticed it until it was too late.
He was still clutching his head as he turned to me. "I was...I got so scared. I was sure that..." His eyes were filled with tears as he lowered his hands, still clutching to his shirt. "By morning what was left of my mind was gonna be gone."
Frowning, I took his shoulder. It was scaring me to hear him talk like this, the guy who had a penchant for panicking, but not being so vulnerable, even when he did. "I'm gonna take you back to your quarters, ok?" I felt like I was abandoning him, but he'd been ordered to rest, and he certainly wasn't doing that here.
"John, John..." The tears in Rodney's eyes threatened to spill over as he gazed at me. "I've never been so scared. I'm slippin' away. I'm slippin' away and I don't know how to stop myself."
I couldn't take him talking like that, it was scaring me more and more. I kept telling myself that Keller was going to make Rodney all better. That she'd manage to fix his brain, I mean, that's why she was made head of medicine, right? When Carson... Biting my lip, I stared at Rodney a second, and recalled how it had effected him, how it effected us all, when we lost Carson. I'd lost Sumner, Aiden... Hell, I wasn't even there to protect Carson! Or Teyla, when she'd been hurt! Or Elizabeth during the replicator attack! Even Ronon was captured and tortured!
Now Rodney?
Sure, this wasn't a Wraith trying to feed on him, or a ticking time bomb, but it was worse. Those were physical, we had solutions. Kill the Wraith, remove the time bomb and hide a safe distance away, anything! This... This was a parasite in his brain. This was so much worse. We couldn't just kill the parasite without it taking Rodney with it. And just leaving it was slowly killing him!
Grabbing both of Rodney's arms, I took a deep breath, trying to remain calm, despite the pain and uncertainty in my heart. "Look, you're still here, all right?" Funny how that was probably more comforting to me than it was to him. "You're still here."
Strangely enough, it seemed to help him, and he visibly relaxed. "Right. I am." He was still obviously panicked, but not nearly as bad as before, and he even managed a very slight, shaky smile.
"And I'm not goin' anywhere. Hell, you wanna hang out, you just....hang out." This was awkward, but I was glad he came to me. And honestly, I was glad to help in any way. I was tired, my eyes felt heavy, but I forced myself to ignore it as I focused on him.
But I think he saw it anyways. Even if he was forgetting everything, Rodney was still very perceptive. "I don't know what to do." He was frowning as he rubbed at his messy hair. "I don't know what to do with myself." Looking at me, his eyes were clearly afraid and pained, but also held regret. "I'm...I'm sorry. I shouldn't... I shouldn't have woken you up."
No, I wasn't about to let him run off now. "Hey, look." I looked out the window and saw how clear it was. It would be a little cool, but we could work around that. The moon was full, and it was probably a great night to sit outside for a bit. Gesturing, I had Rodney take a look. "It's a nice night out. Let's go and have some beer on the pier, ok?" I didn't even wait for him to reply, but walked to my mini fridge, grabbing my leather jacket and opening the fridge to grab the six pack inside.
"I drink beer?"
Now, how to answer that one? Sure, Rodney drank beer, but I didn't know how often, or if he preferred another type of alcohol, instead. "A lot." I finally stated, looking him in the eye. Tossing the jacket to Rodney, I watched as he grabbed it and looked at it. "Take this." Closing the fridge door, I grabbed a heavy shirt on top of the fridge, with my free hand and turned back to him. "Come on, buddy, let's go."
End Flashback
It had been a little cool out, that night, but it was still a lot of fun. We sat our, dangling our legs over the city and drinking beer, just relaxing in general. I felt immensely better when I noticed Rodney seemed a lot calmer and more at ease.
Checking the H.U.D, I noticed it wasn't quite ready and sighed quietly, as I heard Jennifer and Jeanie talking to Rodney. Teyla and Ronon were quiet, and I could tell they were both worried as much as I was. None of us wanted to lose him. He was friends with us all. Hell, I'd even go as far as to say I saw him like family.
And he was family to Jeanie.
God, what must she be going through?! For years, she and her brother never got along. Even after she'd been made aware of the Pegasus project and Atlantis, after they reunited, they were still occasionally at odds. But they were getting better. Now, to find out she may very likely lose her brother?!
Not to mention Jennifer. It was subtle, but it was there. Little blushes Rodney would give, when he was treated by her. His sudden lack of protests when we'd suggest he go to the infirmary. The way he seemed all too happy to sit next to her, and help her out around the infirmary. There was something there.
Briefly, I wondered if Rodney had any nights with the others, like he had with me. I know he strangely seemed drawn to me, as he grew worse, I'm not entirely sure why. Did he wake up, running terrified to the rooms of the others?
Not that I was jealous, I really was just curious. No one mentioned anything.
Just... Did he plan to 'say goodbye' to them, too? Had he already said goodbye to everyone?
Flashback
We sat on the pier, our feet dangling over the city. I wore my shirt, Rodney wore my jacket. It was surprisingly comfortable out here. We'd both already finished our first beers, and in record time, I might add. Grabbing another can, I popped the top and handed it to Rodney.
"I dunno. Should I have another?" He placed the can he was holding down as he accepted the second one.
With a shrug, I grabbed another for myself and popped the top. "What could happen?" I wanted to wince. Famous last words, right?
As far as we knew, the parasite was immune to all forms of radiation that we knew of, drugs didn't have any effect. Alcohol couldn't do anything, I was sure of it.
"I shouldn't have banged on your door like that. I feel ridiculous." Rodney sighed and closed his eyes a moment, before reopening them.
"Don't." Everything was nice and relaxed now, I didn't want to go back to panicked and scary. The fact that he spoke like this, none of his usual sarcasm in his voice, that alone was enough to bother me. I kept expecting a Rodney answer to things. I took a swig of my beer, sighing as I allowed myself a moment to savor the taste.
"I've been trying to remember the name of my sister's kid."
Looking at him, I turned to find Rodney squinting out at the ocean. I pondered for a split second, on how to answer that. "Betty." Yeah, yeah, I know that wasn't it. I was testing Rodney, to see his response, and I was hoping to keep the current mood light.
"Betty." Frowning at me, Rodney's eyes narrowed in confusion before his expression turned knowing. "Pretty sure that's not it." He replied lightly.
I nodded and turned back to my beer. "It's Madison. See? At least you remember what it isn't."
"Now there's an underrated skill." He mused with a bit of a grin.
Biting back my own grin, I nodded again. "I'm just saying, you may not be as far gone as you might think." At least, I hoped not. There was always a chance he could overcome this himself, right? Or maybe it seemed worse than it was?
"I'm hiding it." Rodney's voice became a little harsher as his smile faded and his look darkened with worry, pain and a little frustration. "Believe me, I've already forgotten more than most people will ever know, and I know that sounds..." He struggled for a moment, his face heavy with confusion. "Arrogant, is that right?"
More than you'll ever know. I thought with a smirk as I nodded. "Yeah." I couldn't help the small chuckle. "That works."
He sobered up again as he looked back out over the illuminated city. "This morning I was trying to help Zelenka finish a device that was apparently my idea. I was useless. Jennifer says it's gonna get worse now, almost by the hour." He turned back to me, his eyes filled with sadness and tears starting to pool again. "In a week or so, I won't even remember my name."
Only a week? Funny how that sounds like so much time, a life time away, and yet so little time. I could only take a good strong drink of my beer, not really knowing what to say at this point. The comfortable atmosphere had pretty much gone out the window at this point, and I was stuck feeling like this would be the last time I could talk to him like this.
"How's about..." Looking down to his lap, I watched out of the corner of my eyes as Rodney took a deep breath, as if trying to control his emotions, and looked back up. "How's about we say goodbye now?"
"No!" Wow, that came out before I'd even had a chance to process the question. It surprised me, as well as the vehemence behind it. That really was the last thing I'd ever expected Rodney to say, and I really didn't want to believe he'd just said it. It sounded like he'd just given up.
"What d'you mean, 'No'?" He asked, some of his usual attitude in there. A little snark.
It did help, though. Sighing I took a deep breath and held it as I tried to ignore the tension filling me. I really didn't want to have this conversation. Not now, not ever. "I mean I'm not saying goodbye." I answered quietly, trying to sound stern.
"Well, I'm saying it anyway."
"Well, I'm not listening!" I threw back, feeling my hand clench the beer can tightly as I turned and stared him down.
Frowning, Rodney closed his eyes a second before reopening them and staring right back at me. "Yeah, but pretty soon I won't even know who you are!"
I just barely managed to bite back the shiver of dread that ran up my spine at that. I could imagine myself walking into the infirmary to speak to Rodney, and hearing him asking me who I was. I tried to ignore the icy hand that closed over my heart. "Then I'll remind you." I put in forcefully.
"Yeah, but I don't want you to see me like that." He was almost pleading now. "I want you to remember me as I am, your genius friend, not as some...." He trailed off, looking almost ashamed.
Staring at him firmly, I bit back the urge to growl in frustration. "Not gonna happen." I stated as firmly as I could.
"Please." He begged.
It tore at my heart to see him like this, but I pushed it aside and kept staring at him. "You're stuck with me, Rodney. Just accept it."
"Yeah, but I..."
"No!" I almost winced at the volume of my voice, and wondered if the echo I heard carried through Atlantis. The last thing I needed right about now, was a bunch of guards breaking my door down, thinking I was under attack. Or a bunch of questions from everyone, wondering why I yelled. Waving a finger firmly at Rodney, I narrowed my eyes at him. "That's final."
"Ok."
Pausing for a second, I was struck at how meek Rodney looked. "Ok." Grabbing my can, I took several long deep swigs from it, trying to ignore the millions of thoughts flowing through me. I felt like I was being pulled in every which way, and was going to be torn apart.
Just as I'd taken a good, long drink, I heard Rodney speak up.
"You're a good friend, Arthur."
Turning to him with the can resting at my lips, I slowly lowered it as I stared into his big blue eyes. I was trying to figure out if he was serious, and judging by the look on his face, he was. But then there was the gleam of amusement in his eyes, and I knew he wasn't. Not being able to help it, I spun my head back out over the pier as I busted up into laughter, ignoring the way I sprayed my beer out over the ledge, and listening to Rodney snicker beside me.
Now this was more like it!
End Flashback
I couldn't help but smile at the memory. It had been really nice. Then, I tried not to frown. It was actually more of a roller coaster. On one hand, there were really down, down sides. Then there were really happy moments, too.
Looking out over the land, I frowned at the hoards of Wraith troops. This was beyond our usual danger level on our missions. This was practically a suicide mission. Turning to glance over my shoulder, I watched Rodney rocking a little between Jeanie and Jennifer, dressed in his usual off world uniform. As I turned back, I saw the determination in the faces of Ronon and Teyla, and felt it in my own heart.
This was beyond dangerous, and there was a good chance we might not make it out alive... Hell, there was a slim to none chance Rodney would survive longer than a day, that we knew of... But, in order to have him back, even for a little while, we were willing to give it a shot.
I just wished there was more we could do. Here we were, running a potentially suicide mission, to give Rodney twenty four hours as himself before he...
Shuddering slightly, I closed my eyes a second before swallowing heavily and opening my eyes again. Checking the H.U.D, I frowned, though it was clear. "All right." Taking a deep breath, I nodded. "The landing area's clear. I'm taking us in." Forcing myself to keep the jumper steady, I slowly guided it to the landing pad.
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Hm, reading over this, it might not belong in John's RBDs. It deals with his thoughts and pains in seeing a friend hurting, but, well... (Shrugs) You let me know. :)
Hope you like it.
R+R please
Thank you
Tenshi