(A/N) Well, gentle readers, it seems I've been going too easy on you. You want angst? You want suffering? You shall have them both.

Mudkipz: You're...only just now coming to the conclusion that I might be insane? Oh, dear. It seems I've been too subtle.

Ere the Sun Rises

Part Three

Of course, with the two princes sleeping together again, it wasn't long at all before the younger prince fell pregnant again. Both were overjoyed, certainly, but fearful, as well.

This pregnancy taxed the young prince as the first one had not. He grew weaker and spent a great deal of time in bed. He had no appetite but forced himself to eat just the same, knowing he had to…or he would lose this child, too.

As weak as he was, the prince fell ill several times during the pregnancy. His brother stayed with him every moment, encouraging him through it…and he fought, for all their sakes, though the battle with his body and spirit nearly cost him his life. That struggle only became harder once it was discovered the prince was carrying twins.

As had happened the first time, the young prince went into labor on a very stormy afternoon. The labor was difficult and his brother remained with him for as long as he could, but was ultimately forced behind his curtain by the setting sun, changing back to his true form. Though he desperately wanted to be with his love, to hold him and encourage him, he could do nothing but listen to him scream in agony.

XxX

Kili couldn't remember when he'd been in such pain…not when Duri was born…not when he'd been attacked by the white bear…Not even when Fili had accidentally attacked him. He had felt so much pain these last years, but this was worse than all of it. He was no longer capable of perceiving the world around him. He couldn't hear the chatter of the physicians or his father…couldn't hear his own screams or Fili's despairing cries. The world around him was black and there was only pain to fill that blackness. By now, he was ready to give up, to stop fighting and let it all end…anything to make this pain stop. That was the moment he heard a baby's cry through his haze of agony. After what felt like an eternity to him, he heard his father's voice at his ear.

"You have a daughter, Kili. You and your brother have a daughter…and she's beautiful and perfectly healthy."

"Sh-Shiri," he hissed through his pain, wanting to give the name now…in case he lost his chance.

"Shiri? Is that her name?" When Kili nodded his head in response, Thorin gripped his shoulders tightly. "You're doing so well, my son. You'll be able to rest soon. Just a little more. The second child is almost here."

Again, all Kili could manage was a nod. Yet another eternity later, with a last torrent of blood and a harrowing scream, their third child was born.

As he listened to the baby cry, Kili felt the world slipping away from him. He was fast losing consciousness and he didn't know whether he would ever wake again to say the name he and Fili had chosen. He knew nothing about this child, didn't know whether it was a boy or a girl, didn't even know if it would live…but as his vision faded to black, he softly called out the name…

"Nuri."

…then he knew nothing more.

Fili felt panic rising in his chest when Kili's voice did not join the cries of the newborn. Resisting the urge to tear aside the curtain, he called out, "Father? What's happening? What's happened to Kili? What's wrong?!"

"He's unconscious," Thorin reported tersely, "but he's still breathing."

Fili felt his heart stop as he gripped the curtain in white fists.

No…Kili, no. Please don't die. Don't die on me…not now.

"The prince will live, Highness," Oin reported. "I am not so certain of his child."

Only then did Fili realize that the second baby's cries were much weaker than the first's.

"What's wrong?!" he continued to demand.

"The child is very small. His lungs and heart are weak. I cannot say whether he will survive the night," Oin explained.

"Mahal have mercy," the prince whispered. It would destroy them both to lose another child; he knew. The grief may well tear him in two, and Kili…Kili wouldn't survive. He couldn't take it. He had taken Duri's disappearance so hard…

"Is it…a boy or a girl?" he finally made himself ask.

"It's a boy," Thorin answered. "You have a son again."

"Please," Fili whispered, gripping the curtains even tighter. "Please save him. Save our son. Do what you must."

"I will do my best, my prince."

At that, Fili saw someone move to stand next to the curtain. Seeing the faint outline of a dwarf holding a bundle, the prince loosened his death grip on the fabric, holding his hand gently against it. Then he felt a very tiny hand brush against his palm. His child…his son…

"Nuri…" he said softly, feeling tears of both sorrow and joy prick at his eyes.

"Please…save him."

With that, Oin was gone and Thorin stood at the curtain in his place.

"I will close the door once the others have left. You can come to your brother then. He's resting now, but he should wake before too long."

"What about Shiri? How is she?"

"Healthy enough, if the strength of that cry is anything to go by," his father said, chuckling quietly. "She lies in their cradle. Kili will be too weak to nurse her for quite some time, so milk has been prepared. You can nurse her when the room's been cleared."

"Thank you, Father."

Fili waited quietly while the other physicians cleaned up. There was no sign of Kili stirring, but he could hear Shiri crying, making her plea to the world in the only way she could. She was hungry and she wanted comfort, but none of the others could take the time to soothe her, as they all had their orders to clear out. Fili breathed a sigh of relief when he finally heard the door close behind his father.

The first thing Fili did upon emerging was to go to his brother. Kili lay on their bed, cleaned of blood and sweat with several heavy blankets piled upon him. He was clearly exhausted beyond all reason, but he was at least resting peacefully. Smiling faintly, he leaned down to press a loving kiss to his lips.

"You did so well, my love. Rest now. I'll see to everything else."

Before he went to Shiri, Fili took the blindfold off the table and secured it around Kili's eyes. Then he lifted their daughter from the double cradle that had been made for the twins. The poor little thing was red in the face from crying and being picked up didn't help much. Fili picked up one of the bottles his father had ordered prepared and carried Shiri over to the rocking chair that hadn't seen much use since Duri's disappearance. Settling down, he began to feed his daughter, crooning softly to her all the while.

There was no need to worry about blindfolds with the babies, as their eyes weren't fully developed. Shiri couldn't see anything more than a few inches from her face properly. It might have been an issue when they got older, except that there were now only six months remaining until the curse was broken and they were all free.

Shiri clutched tightly at the bottle, nursing in a way that could almost be described as furious, but it didn't seem to help any. Shiri was still agitated when she turned her tiny mouth away from the bottle, whining in helpless frustration. Continuing to hum softly, Fili went about burping her, but that didn't help either. The little girl was still fussy and continued to be so right up until Kili began to stir.

As Kili slowly pulled himself back to consciousness, Fili joined him on the bed, waiting patiently. When he finally lifted his head, Fili leaned over and kissed his brow.

"Welcome back. Did you sleep well?"

Kili mumbled his faint assent, still hazy with sleep…but then his shoulders stiffened as memory returned to him.

"Fili! The babies!" he shouted, trying to sit up before Fili pushed him back down. "Nuri and Shiri! Are they all right?!"

"Shh, sh, sh," Fili soothed him, as if he were the child. "It's all right. Shiri is right here. She's fine. I'm holding her now."

"What…what about…Nuri? Where's-"

"Nuri's with Oin."

"Why? What's wrong?!"

"Hush," Fili scolded him, still rocking their daughter. "Shiri's barely calm as it is and your shouting isn't helping," he said, taking Kili's hand in his free one and guiding it to Shiri's small head.

"Oh…oh, baby…I'm so sorry," Kili said softly, gently petting the fuzz atop her head. As he calmed, Fili slowly passed Shiri to him, his arms instinctively forming a cradle for her.

"Nuri's very weak," Fili explained. "They're doing what they can to keep him alive."

"Our boy…our poor baby boy," Kili lamented quietly, holding Shiri a little tighter. Then he turned his face in the direction of his brother's voice, as if actually looking at him. "Fili, what will we do if he dies? What if he's dead already?" he asked, his throat growing tight with anguish.

Gazing sadly on his brother and their daughter, Fili pulled them into his arms, holding them close. "There will be nothing we can do…if we lose him…nothing but lay him to rest with love."

"He can't die!" Kili cried, the sound muffled against his brother's shoulder.

"It is in Mahal's hands now; not ours."

At these words, Fili felt Kili stiffen against him. Then he turned his face up, the anger clear even without the fierce gaze of his dark eyes.

"What has Mahal ever done for us?"

For a moment, Fili couldn't speak. The venom in his brother's words was like a physical blow.

"What did you do…to have this curse placed on your head? What did we do that our child was taken from us? What sin did we commit…to be punished like this? Mahal has no love for the princes of Erebor. It would be nothing to him to give Nuri to us…and take him away in the same breath."

"We still have Shiri," Fili reminded him.

"For how long? We have had no happiness for long these seven years. How long before this precious child also vanishes into the night?"

"That's not fair, Kili. We've had each other. We could have suffered this alone. Besides, we've only half a year remaining. Soon the spell will be broken and we will be free of Thrain."

Trembling, Kili carefully began to rein in his anger, nodding as he rested against his brother, Shiri cradled carefully between them.

"I'm sorry. I was just…so angry. I feel so helpless. We should be able to protect our children…but we can't."

"We can only do our best," Fili soothed, rubbing his back as he held him and Shiri close. "We won't give up. We'll fight until we've won."

Kili didn't say anything, but Fili could feel his lips shift into a smile against his shoulder. The two young parents waited up for as long as they possibly could, hoping for word from Oin, but they did ultimately drift into an uneasy sleep with Shiri cradled in a warm nest between them, restless as she still was. Someone did enter their chamber, but it wasn't who they were expecting…not even anyone they could actually see.

As always, Bilbo was silent as he carried Duri into the room. No one could hear or see him unless he willed it.

"Now Duri, you can see your new sister, but you mustn't remove the blindfold until I tell you it's safe. Do you understand?"

Duri nodded. He had gotten very good at being quiet. He was probably the quietest two-year-old that had ever lived. Bilbo sat him on the bed next to Kili, guiding him down to kiss his cheek.

"I love you, Papa," he whispered against the stubble on Kili's cheek, just as he did every night. Kili shifted in his sleep, mumbling quietly. Then Bilbo moved the dwarfling to the middle of the bed, directing him to look down at the baby girl as he lifted the blindfold.

"All right, you can look now, but you mustn't look anywhere else."

Duri opened his eyes, smiling when he saw his baby sister, who opened her eyes to look up at him.

"Hi, Shiri," he said, kissing her nose. "My name's Duri. I'm your big brother. Nuri wanted me to tell you he's all right, but he misses you. I love you both. Can you tell Papa and Father I love them, too?"

Shiri wriggled a tiny hand free of her nest, cooing as she reached for her brother's face. Duri giggled quietly, leaning down to kiss her forehead one more time before his grandfather secured the blindfold back over his eyes. Then he carried him to the other side of the bed, being careful not to look at his firstborn as he set Duri down beside him.

Bilbo couldn't guide Duri to properly kiss his father when he was in his true form, so Duri just hugged Fili instead, nestling his small head against the blond dwarf's heartbeat.

"I love you, Father. Grandpa says I get to meet you soon. He says you'll be happy. I hope he's right. I want you to like me."

"They'll love you, little sapphire. They miss you so much," Bilbo reassured him as he picked him up, starting to head out of the room. He had been with Thorin and Oin, so he knew Nuri was doing fine. He would be frail, but at least he would live…which was why it tore at Bilbo all the harder…to know that he had to do what he had to do.

He would also have to take the twins under his protection. He wanted to give his sons as long with their children as he possibly could but, inevitably, he knew that Thrain would come and try to take them away…and when he did, the halfling would be ready for him.

XxX

One month the two princes had with their children. The baby boy was very weak, but he lived. The young parents were completely devoted to him and his sister, making certain that they never wanted for anything. The kingdom rejoiced in the birth of the twins and, for that brief moment in time, they knew peace.

The princes knew better than to think they were safe, though. One or the other kept a vigil each night, ready to protect their treasures…and of course their fears proved to be founded…one calm night…

XxX

If anything, Kili found that he was more alert with the blindfold than without it. He heard every sound, could smell the distinct scent of their chamber, and feel changes in the air around him. Fili was sleeping in their bed while he sat in the rocking chair beside the cradle, blade in hand, keeping watch over the twins. He heard Fili mumble and shift in his sleep.

Kili was aware the moment the wind from outside changed, but it wasn't a change in the weather. Could it be…Thrain?

Getting to his feet, Kili placed himself between the window and the cradle. He knew it the moment someone else was in the room with them, even though he could hear nothing.

"Who's there?"

Nothing.

"I warn you: leave now. I won't allow you to touch my children," he threatened, dagger raised. This wasn't Thrain…couldn't be. He would be gloating now. But if it wasn't Thrain who had come for Nuri and Shiri…who was it?

Kili heard Fili wake before he called out, "What's wrong?"

"Someone's in here," Kili hissed.

"But…I don't-"

"Someone. Is in here," Kili repeated ferociously, only vaguely noting the sound of his brother rising from the bed. Then he heard Shiri begin to cry…but only for a moment before falling silent.

"Shiri!" he cried out in panic as he spun back to the cradle, but when he reached for his children he found the tiny bed empty, just like three years ago.

"No…no…"

"They're gone. They're gone, Kili," he heard Fili's horrified voice at his ear.

"NO!" Kili screamed, collapsing to his knees beside the cradle, gripping the wood in tight, white fists. "What has…happened…to our children?!"

XxX

The younger prince fell into a daze after that night. He could hardly be coaxed into eating or sleeping and he hardly spoke to his brother, much less anyone else. Oftentimes, he would sit beside the cradle, absently rocking the useless piece of furniture. For hours upon end, he would repeat the endless motion, eyes empty and staring at nothing.

For four months this went on, until only one month remained in the curse. Even though both princes were miserable, the conditions had been met for the curse to break at the appointed time. All they needed to do was wait.

However, the former king wasn't quite done with the brothers yet. He had long planned for the coming day and he was not about to let his grandsons defeat him. He had one last trick up his sleeve…something he had saved for the utmost end of need.

The prince would be his…even if he had to destroy his baby brother in order for that to happen.

XxX

Kili was rocking the cradle again.

Fili could hardly stand to be around him when he got like this. The creaking sound of the cradle and the devastated hunch of his brother's body caused the guilt to clutch at his heart until he could barely breathe. He felt so helpless…like there was absolutely nothing he could do to bring the light back into Kili's eyes…as if, in a way, he had already lost him.

"Wouldn't your baby brother be so much better off without you?" a new voice entered the guest room he was currently pacing.

"You!" he growled, looking up to see Thrain standing before him.

"Your brother's going to die, you know."

"What are you talking about?"

"Even if your curse is broken, it will not bring your lost children back. This mysterious force will continue to take your children away from you. If dear Kili were to become pregnant again…bear another child…only to lose it…you would lose him. The grief would kill him. You know this. His life is in your hands."

"Just you wait. The moment this curse is broken, I'm going to get our children back. I won't rest until I bring our babies back to Kili."

Thrain laughed quietly at this. "Can't you see that Kili would be so much better off if you were dead?"

For a moment, Fili couldn't speak, because part of him believed that was true, but he somehow managed to shake off his fear and fire back, "I'm not listening to this. You'll say anything to come between us, anything at all. One more month and your curse breaks. We'll have won."

Thrain sneered at him. "Do you know…why I give you back your own form at night?"

Fili shook his head.

"It is because I must. If I simply left you as a white bear, you would lose yourself completely and be unable to return to your true form ever. I tried to prevent your coupling with your brother several times by holding the transformation back…but no matter what I tried, Kili refused to fear you and I had to give you back in the end…or risk losing you altogether. Only now…with little other option left…I am willing to risk that loss with so little time remaining."

For a moment, it did not sink in. But as Thrain leered at him, he began to understand, quite plainly, what it was he hoped he would do…if he lost himself just long enough…

"Kili," he whispered in sudden fear, but even as he made for the door, he could already feel the transformation beginning in his bones…maybe even happening a little faster this time.

"Just what did you think you were going to do?" Thrain taunted him, placing a hand on the door as Fili's rapidly shifting hands slipped from it. "Warn him? You can't even speak anymore," he said, stroking the snout that was rapidly sprouting from his face. Fili roared in despair, ramming his head against the door.

"Enjoy the day, my dear grandson. At sunset, you'll start to feel it…then you won't feel anything at all. Your precious lover will mean nothing to you…and he's only a few doors down from this spot. He will be the first one you kill."

As Thrain vanished, laughing, Fili threw his head back and let out a sound that could almost have been a scream. He couldn't let this happen. He couldn't! Not Kili!

What can I do? What can I do? Oh, Kili, what can I do?!

Fili spent the rest of the day curled up in the room, ears flattened and nose buried in his large paws, attempting to shut the world out. Despite his best efforts, though, he could still smell Kili, and that scent would be the first thing he smelled when he lost his mind.

He could try to run, but he knew there was no point. Thrain would never allow him to escape from this. All he could do was pray…pray and weep without the use of tears.

Mahal…mercy. Please…save him. Don't let this happen. Send him from my side. I would gladly give him up…if it would save his life. Please…even after I start to disappear…let some part of me know him. I beg you!

As the minutes wore down toward the inevitable, Fili realized that the scent of his brother was becoming stronger. It filled his awareness until nothing else remained.

Kili…Kili…Kili!

To the white bear, the scent of Kili had come to mean 'mate,' and the only thing the great beast could comprehend was that its mate was nearby…and he was not yet with cubs…even though the bear could tell by the smell that he wanted to be. Fili felt horror grip his heart as his own mind was pulled under by the bear's singular instincts. Maybe…maybe he wouldn't eat his brother…but…

No! No, no, Kili! NO!

Fili fought for as long as he could, but he lost in the end, as he knew he must. Before he was completely gone, his last thought was of Kili's smile…that precious twitch of lips that had the light to fight the shadows.

Will I…ever see you smile again?

XxX

Even though he was mostly out of touch with the world around him, Kili still remembered to put the blindfold on every night. It was force of habit by now…even if Fili no longer came to him every night. As such, he couldn't see what was happening, but he knew something was wrong just the same.

The first indication was the sound of the door slamming open.

"Fili?" he called out uncertainly. Then he heard the heavy padding of the white bear's paws and the harsh sound of its breathing. Hadn't…the transformation happened yet?

"Fili?" he tried one more time, only to be met with a low growl. Slowly, beginning to fear, he loosened the blindfold, letting it slide down around his neck. Then he looked up…until he met the black gaze of the white bear standing before him.

"Oh, no," he whispered, feeling true fear for perhaps the first time in his life. Before…he had not truly doubted that he could call his brother back from this state, but something was different tonight. Somehow, he felt that the battle had already been lost, even before it had been fought. Moving as slowly as he possibly could, he stood from the rocking chair, holding a hand out to the bear.

"Are you going to kill me?" he asked as the bear sniffed at his hand, even though he knew he would receive no answer.

"Kili! Fili!" he heard their father shouting as fists pounded on the door. Somehow it had come to be closed and locked. "What's going on in there?!"

Kili didn't answer. He was focused too intently on the bear to think of anything else. Even though this was a bear and not his brother, they were still somehow connected and he could sense his answer through that link. He could feel the bear's desire for him.

Kili knew he couldn't escape from this. If he tried to run, the bear would be on him before he even made it halfway to the door. Besides, he didn't feel that he wanted to escape from this. He felt almost…responsible for it, in a way. Failing to protect Fili…failing to protect their children…and then just shutting his brother out…his failure was that monumental.

"Okay," he said softly, resting his head against the bear's. "Okay."

Then the bear flipped him to the ground, placing a possessive paw on his back. The young dwarf struck his head against the hard stone floor as he fell, rendering him dazed and confused for several minutes. He was hardly aware of it when the bear tore the clothing from his body with teeth and claws. All he knew was that he was naked and cold…and there was suddenly warm fur pressing against him…and something infinitely warmer and harder than the fur.

Kili vaguely recalled thinking, once upon a time, that if Fili ever took him this way, his body wouldn't be able to take it…and he began to feel just how right he was as he was penetrated. There was nothing even remotely comparable to the pain he experienced when the bear tore into him. He could feel every tiny detail as his body broke…as he bled onto the floor. He struggled, but there was no escaping it, no escaping the hot weight pressing down on him, so Kili did the only thing he could do.

He screamed.

XxX

Thorin had known something was wrong when he'd seen Fili barge into their room. He'd been on his way to try and rouse Kili when he'd seen the bear charge in. Before he could interfere, though, the door closed behind the white bear and when he tried it, it had somehow been locked.

"Kili! Fili!" he shouted, banging desperately on the door. "What's going on in there?!"

As he continued to pound fruitlessly on the door, he heard Fili roar. Then he heard Kili screaming…hideous, harrowing cries that spoke of horrors from the very depths of hell.

"Kili!" he shouted, taking out his axe and starting to hack away at the unyielding slab of wood, but the uncaring thing refused to give until Kili's screams had faded into silence.

By the time Thorin finally pushed aside the ruined door, he found the bear crouched over his son, lowing in contentment. Kili wasn't moving and there was blood on the animal's jaw.

"Get away from my son, you monster!" he shouted at the beast, raising his axe, ready to strike.

The bear roared as it stepped back from Kili, moving up onto its hind legs. Thorin felt horror grip his chest when he saw that the creature's belly and thighs were coated with blood…and when he looked down at Kili's unmoving body, he saw why. The king didn't know when he had ever seen such brutality.

Fili…what have you done?

Thorin shook his head, forcing himself back from the idea that this beast was still his firstborn. Fili would never hurt Kili like this. He just wouldn't.

"You're not my son," he said under his breath, focusing his eyes on the bear's black gaze.

"No…" a weak voice suddenly whimpered. Shocked, Thorin looked down again to see a hand reaching from the wreck that had been Kili's body. "No…Father…no…please…"

For a moment, Thorin considered his youngest's plea, but then the bear roared again and the two launched headfirst into a fight.

"No…" Kili continued to plead, his voice destroyed by the screaming. "Please…don't…don't do this."

Thorin got in a good swipe at the bear's shoulder before it delivered a nasty blow with its left paw.

"Stop…Fili…Father…please…"

Thorin jumped to the side when the bear took another swipe at him, roaring in rage when it missed.

"Don't…hurt him…don't hurt him…please…"

The dwarf king matched the bear's roar of anger when he managed to sink the axe into its side, spilling a river of fresh blood onto the floor. The creature roared in pain.

"NO!" Kili cried out. Feeling searing pain in every nerve as he moved, Kili reached out to grab their father's ankle when he came close enough.

Thorin's moment of distraction to look down was all it took. The bear swatted him to the side, sending the king flying into the far wall. The sound of his skull cracking against the stone echoed ominously in the chamber. Then the bear went to its downed opponent, sinking its teeth into his side and beginning to savage him.

"Fili…Fili, please…no…" Kili called out, his voice growing weaker. He could do nothing but raise his arm. He would black out soon. But in the minutes before he lost consciousness, he finally saw the black gaze begin to shift…back to the eyes he knew. Fili gave a confused whine as he dropped Thorin. Then his gaze fell on Kili.

"Fili…Fili…"

Coming back to himself was like waking up from a very deep sleep. At first, he was dazed, the scent of blood, sex, and his brother heavy in his nose…and the taste thick in his mouth. Confused by the body he held in his mouth, he quickly dropped it. Then, as his transformation began, he turned.

At first, all he could see was a bloodied lump lying on the floor, but then his eyes got better and the figure inexorably resolved itself into the absolute last thing he wanted to see.

Kili…lying on the floor…eyes closed and unmoving…clothing stripped away and bloody bite marks littering his neck and shoulders…and last and most horrible of all, his legs spread wide…thighs and backside coated with blood and semen…and his entrance…ravaged and torn…bleeding badly…damaged nearly beyond repair…

Fili slowly dropped to his knees at his brother's side, his soul crushed by despair. He needed no one to tell him he had done this.

"No," he whispered, reaching out a hesitant hand to touch his baby brother's cheek. Kili offered him a weak smile, keeping his eyes carefully shut.

"Wasn't…your fault," Kili whispered, drawing up the arm he could still move and resting his hand on Fili's. "I don't…blame you…"

Fili felt his body shaking as he gathered Kili in his arms, both of them naked and covered in blood. Before either could say anything more, Kili's head flopped against Fili's chest, unconscious.

For what felt like a long time to Fili, he just knelt there, cradling his brother's unconscious weight in his arms, rocking him like a little child. Briefly, he was reminded of the image of Kili rocking the empty cradle.

"No…no…no…"

He couldn't take it in. This couldn't be them. This couldn't be their life. This couldn't have happened to Kili…bright, shining, beautiful, wonderful Kili. He couldn't have done this.

Why?

Finally, Fili threw his head back and screamed…a sound of such horror and pain, the guards responding to the commotion didn't dare to enter the chamber until several minutes after the harrowing sound had faded away.

XxX

Both the king and the young prince had been badly injured in the attack. The king remained in a coma from his head injuries and the prince couldn't walk for nearly a week after. The kingdom was left reeling in the wake of the tragedy and the crown prince went into seclusion, refusing to see anyone, neither sleeping nor eating, simply lying in a room alone, transforming as the hours dictated.

As the final month drew to a close, the king consort feared the former king would soon make his move, but he couldn't guess what he might try and he couldn't protect his own children while continuing to protect theirs. He could do nothing but wait and watch.

Then, on the night before the crown prince's seventy-second birthday, the night before the curse would have been broken, the former king finally came to the prince.

XxX

Fili was aware the moment he was no longer alone…and of course he knew who the intruder was, tonight being tonight. He pulled his legs a little tighter against his chest, shivering on the cold floor.

"Kill me," he begged quietly. "Put an axe to my throat…a sword through my chest…you could even use your magic. I don't care. Just kill me. The others won't do it…and I'm allowed no weapons. Kill me now. Just end it."

"You should know by now it's not that easy," his grandfather soothed as he sat down behind him, laying a hand on his shoulder. "Do you see now…what I've told you all along…that Kili would be so much better off if you were dead?"

Fili nodded, unable to help whimpering.

"So long as you are alive, he will suffer…so long as you are together. Even if the curse breaks tomorrow, you can never go back to the way things were before. You've broken everything. I won't kill you, my Fili, but I think you know how to end this," he said, tangling his fingers in the young dwarf's loose golden hair.

Fili nodded slowly. He knew what to do. He didn't want to; it would be cruel…to end things this way after they'd struggled for so long…but it was the only way to protect Kili. He had said once…that his faith was with Kili…but he had destroyed that faith himself…with his own hands. This was the only way he could give him back his life.

"He's pregnant again…I don't think he even knows. But the bear knew. It could smell it the moment it happened. I don't know how…but maybe…maybe he'll be allowed to keep this child…if I'm not here anymore."

"So go, my Fili. Go and set him free."

XxX

The corridor was deserted as Fili moved silently down it, sheltering a small candle as he walked. He had pulled a cloak on over his naked body, keeping the hood drawn carefully up around his face. This had to be done right. No one else could see. It had to be Kili.

Their room was dark when he entered. He hadn't seen Kili since it happened, but he was amazed that his brother had started sleeping in this chamber again. Fili couldn't help the sad smile that crossed his face when he saw Kili sleeping in their bed. Tears pricked at his eyes as he set the candle down beside the bed.

Wait, he could almost swear he could hear his papa's voice at his ear. Don't do this, Fili. Please. We can work this out.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I have to."

Saying so, Fili carefully untied the strip of black cloth from around Kili's eyes, setting it aside. Then he stroked the soft brown hair that framed his face. Mahal, he was so lovely…so perfect.

"I love you," he whispered. "I love you. I'll miss you…but you need to be free of me."

With that, he leaned over and pressed a loving kiss to his brother's lips. As he pulled back, he saw Kili begin to stir.

First his eyes seemed to move beneath the lids. Then he shifted, as if about to stretch. He drew in a longer breath of air, and finally, his eyelids flickered open.

For a moment, he smiled up at him, and the two brothers gazed into the most beautiful pair of eyes either had ever known…eyes they had missed so desperately for seven long years. Smiling, Fili leaned down to kiss him one last time.

"I love you," he said softly, stroking his hair one last time.

That was when Kili began to understand. The love and warmth in his smile shifted into a look of disbelief and horror.

"Fili…" he murmured in shock. "What have you done?"

"You will be free," he said, continuing to smile as a gust of wind swept through the room, and quite suddenly, he was swept away from Kili.

"No! Wait! FILI!" he screamed, reaching out and grasping nothing but empty air.

For several moments, Kili just lay there, crumpled in the sheets, unable to process what had happened. Why? Why?! Mahal, why?!

"Why did you do it, Fili? Why? Why did you leave me? We would have been free tomorrow night."

"He did it to protect you," a new voice suddenly entered the room…a voice he hadn't heard in a long time. Kili looked up in shock to see Bilbo emerge from the darkness, along with all his young charges.

"Papa?"

"Yes, Kili, it's me," he said, laying down the bundle he held at the foot of the bed and coming to his son. Being careful of his still fragile body, he pulled him into his arms.

"Papa, he's gone! He's taken him from me. Fili's gone!"

"I know. I know. Thrain's taken him far away…and only you can get him back."

"Me? How?"

"In due time, Kili. Don't you want to meet your children first?" Bilbo asked, a somewhat less sad smile on his face.

"My…you mean-" Kili started, realizing there were others with the hobbit…someone much shorter who carried a second bundle. Kili stared in shock as he watched the child expertly climb onto the bed while still holding his bundle. The dark-haired child glanced shyly up at him from beneath the hood of his cloak, gently cradling his bundle.

"Hi, Papa."

"D…Duri?" Kili whispered, afraid to draw him closer, afraid to touch…lest this beautiful vision fade into the night once again.

"Uh-huh," the three-year-old said, nodding vigorously as he held up the bundle he carried. When Kili peeked inside, he could just barely make out a pudgy baby face looking back at him. "And this is Nuri. Grandpa has Shiri. Do…do you like us, Papa?"

For several moments, Kili was too stunned to speak. For three years, he had wasted away longing for these children, and now…to have them back so suddenly…he didn't know how to handle it…until he noticed Duri begin to sniffle a little bit, anyway.

"You…you don't like us…do you?" his firstborn cried quietly, trying to wipe at his eyes.

"Oh…oh, darling, my sweethearts, my treasures," Kili exulted as he gathered his two sons in his arms. "Of course I like you. I've loved you your whole life. I just…it seems I couldn't be with you. I'm so sorry."

"I'm sorry I had to keep them from you…but it was the only way to protect them. If Thrain had gotten a hold of them, he would surely have done them harm."

"Where…where have you been all this time?" Kili asked, holding his two sons close and stroking Duri's dark hair.

"Here. Always here. You see, there was something about the magic of halflings I never told anyone. We can go unseen if we wish, unseen and unheard. Your babies have always been near you. I brought them in to say goodnight every night. Only your father knew. The fewer who knew, the less likely it was Thrain would have been able to track them down."

"I missed them," Kili said softly, tears trickling down his face as he kissed the top of Nuri's little head. "I missed them so much. How are they? Is…is Nuri doing well?"

Bilbo nodded. "He's still smaller than his sister, but he's eating more now. His breathing is stronger. I can't keep his sister quiet, though. The castle should be well pleased they've missed out on her yowling. She's only happy when she's beside her brother."

"Can I see her?"

"Of course," Bilbo said, bringing Shiri into the little circle. The baby girl smiled as he laid her in Kili's lap. Wriggling her arms free of her blanket, she reached up toward her papa. He felt the tears come a little harder as he gave her a finger to latch onto.

"My little princess," he said softly.

"Duri's been a very good big brother. He helps me look after his siblings."

Kili smiled at Duri through his tears. "Have you? Have you been a good boy, my little ruby?"

Duri nodded, laying Nuri beside his sister before cuddling shyly against Kili's side. Kili leaned in and pressed a tender kiss to his firstborn's head. It was all so wonderful. He finally had his children back and they were all so beautiful and perfect. His family was finally coming back together…

…except that his children's father was now gone…vanished into the night, just as each one of them had.

"Papa…you said there was a way to get Fili back. What is it? What do I need to do?"

Bilbo's expression once again grew solemn at this. "It will not be easy. You see, Kili, when your father and I were searching for a way to break Fili's curse…back before you were born…we met up with an old friend of mine: an old wizard by the name of Gandalf."

"You know a wizard?" Duri asked, looking at his grandfather with wide eyes.

"Indeed, I do, little one," Bilbo said, tussling the dwarfling's hair. "The point being, though, he informed us of just how it was that Thrain came to learn his craft. It was from a wizard even older than Gandalf…a dark wizard by the name of Saruman…one whose power was waning. When he searched for a successor, he came upon Thrain, alone and helpless in the wilderness, desperate for revenge. He was willing to give anything to learn what Saruman had to teach…and we can see he gave much."

"The eye," Kili said quietly, remembering the eye patch Thrain wore, the single eye that was missing from his grandfather's face.

"Yes. Thrain learned well, of course, visiting the curse on your brother's head. He is now the master of dark sorcery Saruman was. Saruman had died even before we came into contact with Gandalf, and Thrain had taken up residence in his fortress…a fortress that lies far to the North…even farther than you and your brother traveled. It is to that place you must go if you wish to rescue him."

"Then that is where I am bound," Kili said, eyes gazing out into the darkness of the bedroom as he continued to stroke Duri's hair.

"That journey will be long and difficult…and you are not yet fully healed…from what happened. You must be at full strength before you set out."

"And what will happen to Fili? In all that time…what will Thrain do to him?"

The look on Bilbo's face made Kili want to be sick with the fear that was boiling in his gut. "I couldn't say for certain. He wants Fili for himself…so he will try to make him forget you. He will take his mind from him…make it too painful for him to think of you. I do know, though, that if your brother is in Thrain's power for more than a year, he will be lost to you forever."

Kili's eyes went wide in horror. "Then I must leave soon…as soon as possible. I cannot delay."

"No. You mustn't be rash. If you go off at less than full capacity you will only be playing into Thrain's hands. You will fail in your quest and give him exactly what he wants…Fili for his own and the failure of our house. It will take only a few more months for these wounds to heal."

"Only a few months?" Kili repeated. "Fili doesn't have that kind of time. It will take several months more just to journey that far north, never mind getting into this fortress!"

"Kili!" Bilbo chastised him, as if he were still a child. "There's no other way. It will not help Fili for you to just rush into this. I don't think you even realize how badly he hurt you that night."

"That wasn't him. It wasn't his fault. I know it," Kili insisted, hugging Duri a little tighter. "Thrain had something to do with it. It wasn't Fili."

Bilbo took a deep breath, laying a hand on Kili's knee. "Of course. You're right. I know that…but it still happened. Just because what happened wasn't his intention…it doesn't mean you weren't raped and badly injured."

"I wasn't raped," he continued to insist. "I consented. I didn't try to run."

"It isn't the same thing, Kili. I know you don't want to think of it that way, but you were violated."

"Why does everyone say that?"

"Because they don't understand…just as you don't. They believe that Fili raped you. That isn't what happened. It was Thrain who raped you; he just used your brother as a means of accomplishing that…and that guilt tears at Fili…no different than if he had done it himself. It is Fili's guilt you will have to defeat…not Thrain's power."

Kili's arguments finally fell silent at this. He had never truly thought of the situation from that standpoint, and even though he was now coming to accept that truth in his heart, he was also understanding something his papa seemed not to…that it wasn't just him Thrain had violated, but Fili, as well, and his brother was surely suffering the effects of a rape that had supposedly happened to him. If he knew his brother at all, Fili was suffering as the criminal, rather than as the victim…and he would need to make him see that.

"There's something else you don't know," Bilbo continued when he saw that his son finally understood. "There's no delicate way to put this, so I'll simply say it: you carry a child from that night."

"What? A child?" Kili repeated, looking to his papa again. "How can that be?"

"It doesn't matter what form Fili takes. The ancient magic of the line of Durin still holds. He still loves you…and you him….and in a moment of such high emotion and desperation…the love between you created a new life."

"But I can't wait for the child to be born," Kili said slowly as the realization dawned on him. "There won't be enough time. He will have to go with me…into danger."

"Yes."

"Can…can we go with you, Papa?" Duri asked, looking up at him. For a moment, Kili was shocked by his son's question.

"No…no, baby, of course not. It's much too dangerous. You'll stay here with your grandparents, where it's safe."

"But we want to help Father, too! You'll need help," Duri insisted.

"And you will help me, my treasure. You'll help me by staying here and taking care of Nuri and Shiri. They're only six months old and they need protecting. Can you do that for me?" Kili asked, taking Duri's small hands in his. Duri sniffled quietly, but nodded.

"I can keep them safe."

"That's my good boy," Kili said, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to Duri's forehead.

The family remained awake for most of the night, talking about the last three years; and as the sky was beginning to lighten outside, Kili and Duri finally drifted off to sleep, with the sleeping twins nestled in between them. Bilbo tucked them all in, kissing each goodnight before finally going to be with his husband after nearly four years, even though Thorin could no longer hear or see him…now the opposite of what it had been these long years.

XxX

Fili awoke in a darkened room, feeling chilled to the bone, even though he found himself lying under several layers of thick fur blankets. It didn't take him long to realize he was naked beneath those blankets, feeling the unnerving rub of fur against his bare skin.

"Did the furs help any?" Thrain asked as he appeared out of the darkness, carrying a tray with a steaming mug on it. "You were shivering."

"No," Fili answered honestly, not sitting up as his grandfather sat beside him. If anything, he wanted to burrow deeper under the furs…to not have to face what was happening.

"Well, you'll have to get used to it, my boy, for you will never know the warmth of the sun again."

No, Fili thought, he never would. He had never needed the light of the sun because he'd had Kili…but he had lost his light on the night he'd gone to Kili with darkness in his eyes. He had lost his sun…destroyed its beautiful warmth with his own two hands. He deserved to suffer in cold and darkness like this.

"Why me?" Fili finally made himself ask. "Why did you choose me?"

"Well, at first I just wanted to punish your parents, but then…perhaps I saw something in you that was like myself. Perhaps I saw a darkness in you that I saw you trying to escape from…but there is no escape. You know this…in your heart. You did right to remove yourself from Kili's life…because it will only grow…that darkness," he whispered in his ear, coaxing him to sit up and pressing the warm mug into Fili's hands.

Fili was just broken enough and there was just enough truth to the words…that he believed them…believed there had always been this monster sleeping inside of him. As his body began to tremble, he took a drink from the mug without thinking.

The flavor that met his tongue was strange…in that it seemed to change with his thoughts. One moment it was the sweet, creamy taste of hot cocoa, the next it was the hardy, savory flavor of a good venison stew. Vaguely, he stared at the mug in his hands.

"What is this?" he asked, sniffing the beverage and receiving the scent of hot buttered bread.

"Just a potion. It will help to keep you warm. You have no magic to speak of and you can't regulate yourself properly up here. You will need it."

"Wouldn't it…be easier…just to turn me back into a bear?" he asked, breathing in the steam from the mug. He couldn't figure out why, but his thoughts seemed to be getting hazy.

"No. You will not be taking on the form of the white bear anymore…but you may well lose your mind to it."

"What?" Fili asked. He hadn't heard that last part. He couldn't see it, of course, but as the potion took effect, his eyes were going dark…just like the bear's.

"Nothing, my little one. Drink. You'll feel better. The pain will go away."

"Go…away…?" he repeated slowly, taking another long drink from the mug.

"Yes," the former king said, stroking Fili's soft golden hair. "You will be warm and safe and happy…no more nightmares…no more pain. You will forget. Won't that be nice?"

"Forget…" he repeated, finishing off the drink in another few swallows.

"Yes," he continued to soothe, taking the mug from him and coaxing him to lie back down on the bed. As he continued to stroke Fili's hair, he undid his belt. "And once you've purged yourself of those memories, you'll be able to properly take your place beside me…at the foot of my throne…and in my bed," he said, pressing a kiss to his grandson's lips as he straddled his hips.

"Memories…remember…" he said. Briefly, the light seemed to come back on in his eyes and he pushed feebly at Thrain. "Remember…Kili!"

"No," Thrain said softly, as if chastising a child for making a mistake at lessons. Kissing him again, he reached a hand between his legs, squeezing gently and leering when he felt the younger body respond to him. "Don't remember…forget…forget…forget…" he repeated constantly, as if humming a song. He repeated it again and again as he made love to his grandson, renewing the chorus with every stroke…and as he chanted, Fili began to chant with him.

"Kili…remember…Kili…Kili…re…mem…for…get…Kili…Ki…li …forget…forget Kili…forget…forget…"

"Yes, my beauty…forget."

XxX