Chapter Three:

"Whatever." I said and walked out to the kitchen where I would make the smoothies. It took me a few minutes to make our smoothies then I walked outside and saw him leaning against the railing looking at the water. It was only a few hours and the sun would go down and I loved to watch the sunset. I leant against the railing beside him. "Here" I stated sliding the drink over to him.

He looked at me with glad eyes as he took the drink from my hand. "How's that guy?" Carson asked.

"Jake? He's fine, he just has a few scratches on his shoulder but he should be ok." I said trying not to think of him.

"You know I don't think he's as bad as you think." He said and I looked at him shocked. But maybe he was right. Maybe Jake wasn't as bad or as much of a jerk that he appeared to be. Maybe he was just hiding his emotions behind anger so he won't get hurt like I did for so many years. But instead of anger I put a smile on to hide my tears that grew inside. I knew I had to be strong not just for myself but for Carson too, I needed to be strong for both of us.

"Why do you say that?" I asked him in curiosity.

"Well, I dunno, he just seems like that kind of guy that is nice but hides it." Carson said looking out at the sea.

"Hmn, I guess." I said and sipped my own vanilla shake.

"So do you really think that Alice?" I heard from behind me. There Jake stood in his ripped black shirt on. I turned to him. He seemed to pop up out of nowhere.

"Well, yeah, I guess." I said blushing a little.

"Why's that?" He asked.

"Never mind I gotta go do something…downstairs…" I said hesitantly and then I walked down to my room.

'Damnit…I'm such a retard…I can't even talk to him… what the hell…' I sighed 'maybe I should write some of this down…' I walk over to my nightstand and open the drawer. There a single leather book lay in the empty open space. I grabbed it and walked over to my desk and grabbed my blue pen. I laid on my bed and started writing but not before putting on some music. I put 'Get out Alive' on repeat and wrote on the journal that was spread across the maroon pillow that I had on my lap. In the journal was journal entries up since the day my mother and father passed away. I had newspaper articles in and some drawings I had done when I was ten. It was weird…the first memory I can remember is the day my parents were murdered and even that is broken up. I only remember certain parts and when I try to put them together I feel as if one part, an important part of my memory is missing. I pressed the pen to the tan paper. I wrote along the black lines. I wrote in my usual neat handwriting, and of course it was in somewhat cursive.

Dear diary, August 10 Age: 16

I met someone new today…his name's Jake. I have no idea how old he is or where he really lives but all I do know is that he's such a JERK!!! I can't stand him. He's arrogant and never looks at the real me. I don't know why I wrote that…He just seems like a person who could never get along with anyone and never wants' to. I dunno, he's a hard person to understand…maybe he's like me. Like how I covered up my pain with a smile…but with him he covers it up with hate. I want to get close to him but at the same time something in my head keeps telling me 'no, don't get close, you'll regret it.' I don't know what to do…and now I think he hates me. I want to talk to him so badly but I don't know what to say… And there's something about him that makes me want to hate him but it also seems to attract me to him…umn…forget I said that…it wasn't supposed to come out that way…

I don't understand…I feel awkward around him…and I don't know what to do…I feel as if something is coming for him and somehow I feel it'll impact all off us…us as in me Carson, and Cameron…I don't know it's just a feeling…but …nah it's probably nothing. But, why do you hate me? And do you even care about how I feel? …….Well I'm gonna go cuz the sun is gonna set in like 10 minutes….Bye!!! Alice =]

I closed the journal and sighed. I turned to my side and curled into a ball and hugged my journal and pillow tight. I put my journal on the nightstand and laid there for a while.

I stood up ten minutes after I laid down. I wanted to go see the sun set and I knew that people would probably leave alone at that time, they always do. I walked outside in hope of no one being out there. No one was, Cameron hated driving at night and Carson was probably getting ready for bed. I walked to the stern of the boat and hung over the silver ice cold metal railing to look over at the water. I leant on the railing with my I pod in my ears. I had changed the song to maichick gay by Tatu. I stood there waiting for the sun to set while so many thoughts raced through my head. I looked at my black I pod and saw that the time was six thirty two at night. I changed the song to my favorite song get out alive by three days grace. I watched as the colors in the sky started to change then get black white twinkling stars in the sky. The moon was full and a bit orange as it lit up the night sky that was littered with shining stars.

All of a sudden I felt a cold breath on my neck. I tuned almost automatically and put each hand on each side of me on the railing. I turned my music's volume extremely low but I could still hear it somewhat echoing in my ears. My long dark hair motionless, cold from the temperature change giving my shoulders a bit of an eerie feeling to them.